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BearCountryGG - Monday Apr 23, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.2

D has an early physical therapy appt this morning so I will be having a late breakfast .......3 meals a day is working perfectly for me....I can live with this.......not taking any foods out of my diet...just managing them....and preventing overreating them....I would rather have them in my life in small quantities than not at all.  I thought for a couple of days that going to bed on an empty stomach was going to be an issue...with reflux...but that seems to have settled down when I drank a large glass of water before bed.....I can already see a tempting food in the kitchen...and want it...and tell myself that I can have it with my lunch or dinner...or tomorrow....and not just lose control and stuff myself in the moment.....I am finally feeling comfortable with the idea that I can control food...instead of food controling me.........since food is the only area of my life that I have ever had this issue with...it does make me feel more in control than ever.......when it came to food in the past...delaying gratification was not in my vocabulary...now it feels good to be able to do that.

Meal #1

On the go

muffin = 190

luna bar = 200

coffee = 9

-------------------------------------

calories = 399

 

Meal #2

hamburger/ bun/relish/aioli  = 440

rice a roni = 250

coffee = 9

-----------------------------------------------

calories = 699

 

Meal #3

Not exactly a meal...but a mixture of stuff....wild day

rice cake =40

vegetable juice = 30

banana = 105

figs =137

-----------------------------

calories 312

total calories for day = 1,410

A couple of weeks ago prepping for post surgery...D had to go get a grab bar for his shower....he came home with one that attached with suction cups......I was VERY unhappy.....I thought that was dangerous...personally...I have never had anything in my life that had suction cups that actually worked.......welll.......this morning the grab rail failed...I heard a huge crash...ran in there to find that it had failed....he stopped himself from falling but said that he had gotten hurt...( was ok while later thankfully)...but hand rail was on the shower floor......so now...it has to be done right...( should have been done right the first time)...so we have been a bit testy with each other today....NOT our finest day!!!!!!!  So I had to go buy the right things,....but no one has the right fasteners......so....I give up for today...we are hoping our plumber calls back soon and knows what to do....or maybe he will just have to go showerless.....UGH ( D ...not the plumber...LOL)

I am happy though that while I ate kind of wonky today...I still didn't give into a binge...not even tempted....in fact I took comfort in the idea that I had a system that was in place.......and I'm within calories easily.......tomorrow...more veggies....I gave mine to him today.  The funny for the day was when he had something funny to tell me...he walked into the living room and was talking when he all of a sudden went...WAIT>>>>WHAT.....I just walked in here without the walker...then he panicked...LOL....I think things are improving.

Progress as of today: 7.6 lbs lost so far, only 100.2 lbs to go!

graindart on 04/23/2018:
Good job. There are tons of diet plans out there that all claim to work great. In reality, the only plan that will work for you is the one you stick with. If you've found something that works for you, stick with. After you've stuck with it for a certain period of time you can re-evaluate if something small needs tweaking to further continue towards your goal.

bearcountrygg on 04/23/2018:
Agree completely!


horn_of_plenty on 04/23/2018:
with a few more obligations, or a lot more right now with D, I am sure you can make it work out well for you. Keep up the good work - we are all proud of you here on DD!

bearcountrygg on 04/23/2018:
Thank you...That is sweet.


Donkey on 04/23/2018:
You did very well today. Oh how I hate those testy days, but I supposed that's part of being human... and being married ;-)

Yes, very proud of you!

bearcountrygg on 04/23/2018:
Thank you Donkey...yup...not a fun day...but it happens sometimes...it too shall pass.



BearCountryGG - Sunday Apr 22, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.2

 Everything still covered with snow...with mud around the fringes.......today the high is in the 60's...maybe we will just have nothing but mud by the end of the day....I never thought I would be happy with mud....silly me.  Wt is dropping but very slowly.....and that is ok.....how quickly things can go wrong as I have seen in the recent month or so........counting is necessary...no matter what the situation....and it sure isn't coming off as fast as it once did.  I definately am moving around more than before...I have a lot of new responsibilities...and to add to that....while putting D's support hose on him yesterday...I decided that maybe it would be easier while sitting on a little old stool ( kind of like a milking stool)...and promptly tipped over backwards and landed on my butt..luckily the couch was there and at least kept me upright......D and I just both froze and stared big eyed at each other.  Sore today.

Meal #1

12 grain bread toast = 100

spray butter = 0

1 egg = 128

1 banana = 105

 1 cup v8 fusion pomegranate blueberry juice = 100

coffee = 9

----------------------------------------------

442 calories

 

Meal #2

yesterdays leftovers

chicken with peppers = 150

chicken broth 1/2 cup = 7

oven fries = 90

doughnut = 270

-------------------------------------------------

517 calories

 

Meal #3

pasta with tomato and meat sauce = 320

spicy vegetable juice = 30

veggie straws = 130

---------------------------------------------------

480 calories

Calories for day = 1,439

only zero cal beverages for the rest of the day

Progress as of today: 7.6 lbs lost so far, only 100.2 lbs to go!

graindart on 04/22/2018:
We finally are done with snow sticking to the ground I think. I'm sure we'll have another snow storm or two, however I doubt it will stick to the ground throughout a full 24 hours. After such a long winter with so much snow, this past week in the 50s and 60s has been great.

bearcountrygg on 04/22/2018:
I'm looking forward to that here in Michigan....


Donkey on 04/22/2018:
Oh I hope you are OK with falling off the stool. Paired with the hip pain & sciatica earlier this week... Please be careful!

bearcountrygg on 04/22/2018:
Just sore.......but OK


Maria7 on 04/22/2018:
Glad you were not hurt. You have a lot of extra chores to do but as you say, it requires a lot more moving, so may be a good thing (as long as you don't overdo it).

bearcountrygg on 04/22/2018:
It is a good thing...and it's getting easier each day...the dogs are being good.....D is doing his exercises with my help 3 times a day...and I'm having to carry a lot of things like glasses and cups for him...because he is still using the walker...and I'm getting the mail at the road...so I am moving more...and that's a good thing.



BearCountryGG - Saturday Apr 21, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.6

Brought back an old family tradition of ours back when we had a housefull of kids.......the big weekend breakfast.....the kids still talk about it...D mentions it occassionally and miracle of miracles...we were slim then regardless, and because I am once again needing to work on getting him to eat health giving foods ( we have been eating some more convenience type foods) while we get back to real life...so I made a big weekend breakfast......and it was healthy...and he ate all of his...so I'm happy and so is he....he is working hard here...and I'm picking up the slack...we both need the exercise......it is definately making me more active and that is a good thing.  

1 slice 12 grain bread toasted = 100

spray butter = 0

coffee = 18

omelette with 2 eggs, shredded chedder, red and orange peppers and salsa = 286

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

breakfast calories - 404

Could be a good start to 3 meals a day averaging 400-500 each

I really liked it a couple of weeks ago when I was eating 3 meals a day at about 500 cals each...that worked really well to keep me from snacking between meals...and it also forced me to include  any snacky type things into a meal..which helps me control the quantities of those while still allowing them.  Another thing I liked with that was a  planned dessert for lunch or dinner or both.....that satisfies my desire for sweets yet helps me control quantity.  When I have dessert type foods between meals or in the evening...I would over eat them...and while I am not necessarily one for dessert after dinner.....now if I do want sweets and make it after a meal only....I won't feel deprived.  Writing things out here really has helped me clarify for myself...exactly why and how I have been reacting to things....I see patterns...I see what satisfies me......I like 3 meals a day...and no snacks...it helps me contain food quantities.

Meal #2

chicken breast and peppers cooked in olive oil= 150

lettuce, cucumbers and fat free ranch = 43

12 baked french fries = 90

ice cream sandwich = 180

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

meal 2 calories = 463

 

Meal #3

Chicken alfredo = 310

banana = 105

Quest protein bar = 170

-------------------------------------------

meal # 3 = 585

Total calories for day =1,452

Done eating for the day.......may have calorie free sparkling water, coffee or tea if desired

I believe this is the eating style I have to stick with...I can do this for life...It pushes me to eat more complete meals that include protein, fruit/veg and carbs and allows for treats or sweets at the end of meals 2 and 3.  It keeps me satisfied and full......it keeps me from grazing on junk all day...but still allows for junk during a meal if I want it....I'm accepting that my eating for the day is done after the 3rd meal...but that I can have zero cal beverages in the evening if desired.  

My daily calorie goal is between 1,200 and 1,500

Progress as of today: 7.2 lbs lost so far, only 100.6 lbs to go!

graindart on 04/21/2018:
I also seem to do better when I have planned eating times. It's much easier for me to regulate my food intake. When I snack all day long I don't tend to realize how much I actually ate by the end of the day.

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
With 3 meals a day...I seem to be able to tell myself that even though I may be hungry between meals...I only have to wait for an hour or so..then I can eat....snacking is a problem for me because I would graze all day and never actually sit down to a real meal.


Horn_of_plenty on 04/21/2018:
i also enjoy snack type foods after meals :)

omelette sounds wonderful!

i think that D would join you in the healthier eating as it will help him possibly lose weight and getting used to the new metal will be easier.

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
Yes...he loves salads and a lot of veggies......I think he is missing some sweets...but he is diabetic...sooo....he eats those sparingly anyway.


Donkey on 04/21/2018:
I agree with your assessment: you seemed to do very well with the 500 calorie meals, 3 times a day.

Oh - and I 100% about a dessert. Otherwise it doesn't feel complete - ? Or not quite satisfied? And this way, you know that your next treat is just a few hours away...

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
Exactly!!!! Right On!!!!


happy-1 on 04/21/2018:
Mmmm big weekend breakfast.

bearcountrygg on 04/21/2018:
Sticks to the ribs...LOL



BearCountryGG - Friday Apr 20, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.6

Up at 5....and had breakfast

coffee = 9

toast with spray butter= 120

1 egg = 95

---------------------------------------

I feel like I'm losing weight...( at least part of the weight I recently put back on).....I had moved the scales out of the master bath to make room for D's walker.....so this morning I grabbed them and was going to weigh in...and now apparently the battery is dead...so I have no idea what I weigh right now.....will have to look around and see if we have any replacement batteries that size here.

My usual hip pain has now gotten sciatica as a new partner.......thank goodness for arthritis strength tylenol.

Got out to the kennels yesterday and found the same 2 male dogs in the same pen again...this time I see how they are doing that........moved him to a kennel further down the line...so that will not be possible anymore.  Getting the hang of this...I'm exhausted....but the days fly by...and I'm not sitting around as much...or even thinking about food at all.....and that's a good thing.  

D's therapist is a tough lady....she made him squeal yesterday...and also gave me a list of exercises to MAKE him do.....(I have another new job)........

doughnut = 270

red pepper = 10

chicken pot pie = 860

crackers with cream cheese = 400

potato chips = 300

spicy vegetable juice =30

 

calories = 2,103

Progress as of today: 7.2 lbs lost so far, only 100.6 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2018:
with a lot of new responsibilities and chores, i am sure you will have lots more to think about for awhile than food...i'm also working on a shift of focus, realizing that i do have quite the food obsession and do think a TON about it especially when bored or emotional..it's a habit...and i'm working to try to eat smaller portions at times and not stuff myself is my challenge to undertake a little better..

yes, i think the therapy will hurt more at first...i think that if he doesn't move it enough at the beginning, things can go wrong fast...i believe the beginning of therapy may be the hardest but extremely important.

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
Yup...painful...she keeps calling him FRESH MEAT....LOL...no kidding....he just met his match,....a woman that calls the shots...That's new to him...LOL....don't get me wrong...he was a commercial carpenter for 32 years in Detroit....he had muscles on his muscles...and he wore his body out...he walked girders several stories up...and shored up 40 foot deep pits.....and was a superintendant and ran multimillion jobs like hospitals and schools and auto plants...he was tough......but age creeps in rather we like it or not...and basically makes lambs out of us. I think he was afraid of damaging the implant...but she convinced him that he has to work through the pain...or scar tissue takes over and he will have no knee motion at all.

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
I know a focus on food too much is a downfall for me.......right now....he isn't expecting our old usual meals.....and has wanted soup, was happy yesterday with subway....etc. Today it may be pot pies...but I do have a lot of salad ingredients...so I may make salads to go with them....we have been eating a lot of pineapple because fresh pineapple helps healing and is also good for digestion....so...up until now...cooking hasn't come up much...but....I think of eating very little when I'm busy...and that's a good thing.


horn_of_plenty on 04/20/2018:
the implants are i believe much stronger than the bone! hard to damage! :) she knows ;)

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
yes.... agreed


Donkey on 04/20/2018:
Taking care of a post-surgical spouse IS a full-time job! I don't know how I would have done it if it weren't for my kids, who were older but still at home to manage. I would have had to have taken time off from work. It's amazing the things that we do everyday that we take for granted that suddenly can't be done any more!

I think a tough therapist can be a good thing, because the healing comes from the WORK. And when in pain, I think too many people start with, "I can't." The nurses were upset after my husband's surgery because he took a little longer to get to his room after the surgery and it was almost 4 hours since being closed up and he hadn't gotten out of bed to walk yet!

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
Agreed....he needs things done for him now that he can't possibly do himself....putting on socks, tying shoes, carrying glasses and cups of liquids, he is trying more new things today...he is definitely back to his old self personality wise though...but he is doing a lot of his exercises on his own....but today I have hauled a desk chair up from the basement and cleaned it up so he can do some of the exercises, brought bird seed up for the wild critters...( will feed them later, )...washed the chair....need to hem pajama pants...took him coffee 3 times...and breakfast....dug around the basement for some gloves because he's getting sore hands from the walker...( he used to have calloused hands...but no more)...found the tape measuer and measured out his 20 feet of the walking test....and it's not even 10 o clock yet....big day ahead......

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
They do start the walking fast.....from what I understand the scar tissue starts growing immediately and that needs to be counteracted...


happy-1 on 04/21/2018:
Lol... and is he letting you make him do them? Are you doing them too? Bound to be toning!



BearCountryGG - Thursday Apr 19, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.6

Things just got very busy here...LOL...........He needs help doing everything.....I'm used to dressing babies...but a 200 pound guy is something else...and this one has an opinion!!!!  LOL

Got him dressed and made his breakfast...headed to the drug store and the grocery store.....phone ringing in my pocket continually...( son and sister in law)....found time for a quick cup of coffee...but no breakfast.....we have to leave in a few minutes for his physical therapy and then get home, make lunch and feed the dogs....had a bit of a dog catastrophy yesterday......these are some big strong dogs here ( they chase bear).....and when I got out there yesterday...2 males were in the same dog run...not good...they each have their own....so I had to get one out and move him to another run...and he got away...yanked me around for awhile...but didn't knock me down...luckily...WE DO NOT NEED THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!!.....so got him in another pen and got the chores and feeding done......this all happened on snow.....thank goodness for the TRAX that D put on my shoes.....but they all are confused I can imagine...and wondering where he is...and why I'm there...LOL....but they were all nice and friendly....just BIG rough tough dogs....luckily I'm the treat lady and they like me.....today....more of the same...but less the escape...hopefully

Brother in law just went into have his first stem cell transpant a few minutes ago.......what a day......I'm sure D's sister is beside herself with her husband...and her brother...she worries about everyone.

SO

Breakfast = coffee..not time for anything else

off to therapy now, will have lunch when we get home

That therapy was brutal...had him yelling....and the therapist loved it...I think she's a sadist...LOL

Stopped at subway to pick up a quick lunch

2:00 ....12 inch subway sandwwich....that covered all of the food groups..I'mfull now...and it's all I've had all day other than a cup of coffee

6:00 a bowl of fresh pineapple and a cup of decaf

Calories for day = 1,131

 

Progress as of today: 7.2 lbs lost so far, only 100.6 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/19/2018:
i'd be scared for my life with a dog yanking me like that...in general i can be fearful of animals...you are one strong lady!!!!

good job on everything...as D feels better he'll once again be able to fend for himself i am sure even in a few months all will be back to routine and even better than how it was before the surgery.

bearcountrygg on 04/19/2018:
I know they wouldn't attack me...they like me....and they are not viscious...but they are super strong...and just take off on a run..and I can't hold onto the leash with all that power they have. I love animals...and I never fear any of them really...but I know they can pull me off my feet very easily..and I don't bounce well anymore..LOL...and he is looking forward to the day he can back to the things he loves to do.


Maria7 on 04/19/2018:
Wow, you sure have had a very busy day today. Good thing that therapist lady is not a man or she might have gotten 'punched', ha. Have you thought of maybe adding a wheel chair ramp to your home, not that you necessarily need it now, though? Last year, my Hubby and Brother built a ramp onto our back deck for our Mother to have access to get into our home and she spent Christmas day with us and ate with us. Anyway, glad you had a good day today and thank you for what you wrote about me the other day. That was sweet. Hope you guys have a good nite. :-)

bearcountrygg on 04/20/2018:
We have talked about a ramp...and we know how we would set it up when the time comes.....he did have a better time with the steps yesterday when he remembered there were crutches in the basement...so I went and got those...and he had an easier time with those on the steps. So between the walker, cane and crutches he is making it work. And this should be temporary....but I can definitely see the value of a ramp.



BearCountryGG - Wednesday Apr 18, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.6

We got home this afternoon....and while he is in a great deal of pain.....he is happy to be back here.  Thank you for all of  the thoughts and prayers.......it all went well and according to plan....BUT we are now wondering why we built this house with steps....that was a struggle just getting him in here...and he will be going to physical therapy tomorrow...so that will be another adventure.

Today

Got to the cafeteria at about 9...and had a egg salad sandwich..that hit the spot

When we got home I found a baked chicken breast in the fridge....and that's been it so far....

coffee 

Bowl of pineapple

Progress as of today: 7.2 lbs lost so far, only 100.6 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 04/18/2018:
Happy for both of you that you are back home recouperating. Get plenty of rest. Glad that everything went well. Thank the Lord. :-)

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
Thank you.....Maria.

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
Thank you.....Maria.


Horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2018:
so glad you are back home!!!! you did great to support your Hubby, BCGG!!!! good job to you both!

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
Thank you HOP


Donkey on 04/18/2018:
Glad you are home!!! That's funny what you said about the stairs, because we're went through that too. If it helps, now we don't give it a second thought.

The first day of therapy is the hardest, and he will get through it. With every day comes more healing.

PS maybe hospital cafeteria eating is the first plan to follow, lol.

bearcountrygg on 04/19/2018:
That hospital food was a very good mixture of healthy and things people like but a healthy version...salad bar, yogurt and sandwiches with a protein and veggies. (they did have small amts of candy muffins and cookies...)....but the main thing was a salad bar...so props to them for that...there must have been 50 choices on there including meats. I'm sure his first out of hosp therapy today will be rough....right now he is keeping me hopping...I think he will be a full time job...LOL


happy-1 on 04/19/2018:
Hugs! Glad he is ok!

bearcountrygg on 04/19/2018:
Thank you Hap


graindart on 04/19/2018:
Initially having the stairs will probably be a pain, but may end up being a benefit in the end. As long as he doesn't overdo it, being forced to move up/down them will probably be beneficial in the long run. I know my father-in-law has been steadily going downhill with his mobility and most of it is due to not using his muscles enough. The house is all on one level and he just transitions from bed to his chair in front of the tv in the morning. Then back from the chair to bed at night, with a couple bathroom breaks throughout the day.

bearcountrygg on 04/19/2018:
D wanted the steps because he always said if we stop climbing we will lose the ability....my parents house didn't have 1 step in it...not even from the garage...and they both had trouble at our house...just getting inside.....I agree...right now...it's really a problem...but I think shortly it will be less of a problem.....



BearCountryGG - Tuesday Apr 17, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.6

Surgery went well. Spending the night at the hospital with him. Good calorie day. Salad. Turkey wrap, coffee and waffle

Progress as of today: 7.2 lbs lost so far, only 100.6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 04/17/2018:
SO GLAD IT'S OVER!!! I'm glad that you are staying overnight. I thought of you & D all day. We're expecting a messy snow tomorrow -- I heard that and hoped that your weather today (this morning) wasn't too bad... (((hugs)))

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
So are we........thank you for thinking of us


graindart on 04/17/2018:
Good job on keeping the calories under control. With the stress and atypical schedule the surgery causes, I'd be tempted to just go crazy with my food.

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
Funny....I didn't think much about food.


Maria7 on 04/17/2018:
Prayed for you and your Hubby this morning (and last nite) and thanking the Lord that all is going well. Hopefully you two will soon be back home and comfy and recovering (both of you because you have gone through this with him). Have a good nite and a safe trip back home and try not to worry about anything.

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
We are home...thanks for the prayers.


horn_of_plenty on 04/18/2018:
Congrats on the successful surgery! G-d bless!

bearcountrygg on 04/18/2018:
Thank you HOP



BearCountryGG - Monday Apr 16, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 245.6

Just wrote an entry and got an error message and lost it..... 

So......not going to risk that again............lost some water weight over night.

Weather pretty nasty....schools staying closed and roads icy.  Waiting for this afternoons call to see if everything is a go......

We would normally take the truck in weather like this...but since I would have to drive it home tomorrow and the parking there is cramped and tight....we will take the car.....not such a great thing in this weather ....but I'm not driving that 4 wheel drive with the huge dog boxes in the back....I can't see anything in it...and i'm sure I would be a danger on the road.....so the car it will be.  

Ate very little yesterday and I guess that is the way it will have to be.....

4  cups coffee = 18

1 cup chicken broth = 15

green beans = 25

baked chicken breast = 172

whole wheat roll = 150

aioli = 90

german potato salad = 240

-----------------------------------------

620 cals for day

WELL..we have a plan.....If dr and hosp says they are going through with this tomorrow...then......the dogs will get fed 2 times today.......( usually only get fed once)...... and I've packed a bag for myself....and if it looks like it will be too dangerous for me to drive home tomorrow...I will stay in a hotel a couple miles from the hosp...for tuesday night.....and I will have to come home on wednesday no matter what to feed them...and then back to the Hosp....but with some luck there will be some road improvements by then.  There is a small chance they may even release him on wednesday...( not likely with a diabetic who is 69)...but a possibility...that would be the best possible outcome....but...from wednesday on...I will do whatever I have to do...but must be home to feed dogs daily...in the end...they get the same number of feedings....but miss one day...they will be fine doing that.  I feel better after making this decision.....he will drive in the morning.....after that...it's all up to me.  

Got the call...it's on...even though our county doesn't want anyone on the roads....

Progress as of today: 7.2 lbs lost so far, only 100.6 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/16/2018:
I am guessing they will keep the surgery..you can always stay somewhere even the night before like tonight if you have to!

Have a pleasant day...i have to lose my entries also...it happens sometimes when i press a wrong key.

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2018:
Problem is the dogs need to be fed.....neighbors too old and sick to help with that........it's a problem...it's snowing like crazy right now....and everything is up in the air......Looks like we are getting 6 more inches of snow...it's heavy and pulling tree limbs down.....Problem is...while he will be staying in the hosp....I will have to turn around later tomorrow and get home some how....or the dogs will miss food for a day....they would live through it....but...

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2018:
I mentioned to him that we could leave tonight...but he didn't think he would be able to sleep in a hotel.....guess he wants his own bed tonight.....but we now have a plan at least.


Maria7 on 04/16/2018:
Please be careful...driving in those conditions as well as when you are walking on the ice to feed the dogs. I know you will be happy when all this is behind you. Praying for you and your Hubby to have a safe trip and that all goes well.

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2018:
Thank you Maria......D fixed me up with some ice walking gripper things on my old high tops....so I will wear those to go to the kennels....and the mailbox. Thank you...we are looking forward to having it behind us too.


Donkey on 04/16/2018:
Thinking of you!!!!! Drive safely and slowly! ((((hugs))))


horn_of_plenty on 04/17/2018:
yes, i keep forgetting you have dogs to take care of!

best wishes today!



BearCountryGG - Sunday Apr 15, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 247.2

Still mid storm....just plain nasty here...a foot of snow...and high winds and sleet and rain......they say today and tomorrow it will continue.  

It wouldn't surprise me if the hospital cancels tuesdays surgery...but we won't know until tomorrow

I've decided to count calories when I can because my clothes are getting snug again...Got on the scales and was so shocked I had to do it over again......I have gone horribly backwards....and basically starting over again.  Not hungry so it's a good time to just eat lightly today.  Boy have I wasted time...and stress eating is what I did.

 

V8 fusion pomegranate blueberry juice , 2 cups= 200

coffee 2 cups = 9

mixed vegetables = 60

banana = 105

 

 

Progress as of today: 5.6 lbs lost so far, only 102.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/15/2018:
my clothes are snug too...it's good to put the extra effort in to do better :)

also, my fingers are still crossed for your hubby!

bearcountrygg on 04/15/2018:
Thank you....And I put it right back on so fast it's scary......I knew my clothes were getting tight...but not that tight...LOL...basically...I'm starting over again....


Donkey on 04/15/2018:
Depending on what you ate yesterday, today's weigh in is probably mostly bloat from carbs, salt, etc. Give it a week to even out.

It may very well be that the post-pone the surgery due to weather. Yuck :-/

bearcountrygg on 04/15/2018:
I'm thinking the same thing...I was eating crackers a lot..... We are wondering the same thing about surgery........we are hoping it doesn't get cancelled...we really want it over with...but getting there is sounding like a problem...they still don't want anyone on the roads...and the town is closed down for the second day.....this would be easier if we were in the city...but we are so rural....with miles in between houses.......we should know tomorrow evening.


Donkey on 04/15/2018:
I hope you managed to have a good day in spite of the weather.

bearcountrygg on 04/16/2018:
Inside...no TV....ate good.



BearCountryGG - Saturday Apr 14, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 236.2

Woke up to no TV or computer this morning........brushing off the 2 dishes...we did get the computer back...but still no TV.  

I definately feel the need today to rip into the house and chores and get things done......I'm obviously feeling like I need to get my ducks in a row.  Looks like a good day for some deep cleaning.

Yesterdays ice storm left us with a hefty layer of ice on everything....and then the thunder snow started...and hasn't stopped...the sleet came and went...the rain stepped in off and on...all and all...right now as it's getting light out....it looks like a typical January or February day.   

I'm so looking forward to late next week when everything is behind us...and I can get back to the norm.  Of course it won't be exactly norm for a few weeks...but close enough.  

EDIT

After a breakfast of whole grain toast (2) with butter and peanut butter, a banana and coffee......I just found myself mindlessly eating....cookies, fruit rollups ( and I hid a fruit roll up when I saw D in the doorway)...and coconut chips...this is a behaviour I am not happy about.......he wasn't judging me...and he didn't say anything.....I'm not sure if I didn't want him to see me eating the roll up...or if I didn't want to share it with him ( he most likely would have turned it down  anyway)....but it is a behavior that I'm finding quite upsetting.  I've turned into one sneaky eater.............I don't want to be judged by him...which actually makes me worse...the more critical others get  the worse i get (stress?...or defiance?)...not sure...possibly both?  As a kid...my Mom was pushing food at me because I wasn't a big eater...then when I did start gaining weight basically in my 40's....I was critisized for that...by  my parents and D.....at one time when I was thin and aunt asked if I was anorexic.....then in my 50's-60's my Mom said I ate too fast....I'm thinking what it all comes down to is that I basically have an eating disorder.........I have the prepper food. ( A LOT OF IT)..which started with the year 2000 food storage idea...and has never stopped.....We call it prepping...but maybe it's food hoarding!  Maybe I need to look at it for what it most likely is.....................anorexia to morbid obesity and food hoarding...maybe I need to start doing some research on all of these including closet eating.  For my entire adulthood...I have read about healthy food choices...I have a bookcase full of books about healthy eating...I know what it is...I made sure to feed my kids that way and I ate that too....and stayed skinny.....I never have eaten anything in any large quantities......but there have been binges where I ate a lot of different bad choices....at one time...kind of like a kid left alone in the candy store...just sampling many different things.........that happened this morning.  It's time to face my problem.......

HI My name is LINDA...and I have an eating disorder!

 

Progress as of today: 16.6 lbs lost so far, only 91.2 lbs to go!

jayhawkjen on 04/14/2018:
I just picked up a book called “Mindless Eating” by Brian Wansink. You might like it, it’s pretty interesting and has some good ideas about reengineering your environment to your advantage. Don’t be too hard on yourself!

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
Thank you...I will definitely get the book and read it. I can follow the trail throughout my life....there have always been food issues from early childhood.....they just seem to go from one extreme to another....I'm kind of relieved to finally accept that it is a problem. I've always tried to fight it with books on healthy eating...and books and tapes on exercise...but never really getting to the bottom of the real problem...I guess finally accepting that it is a problem and reading about what it really is...will be more help...Thank you for recommending the book....I will go order it right now.

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
got it!


Donkey on 04/14/2018:
"Sneaky eating" is a behavior that really bothers me for myself. I've always tried to live by this: To thine own self be true... (Shakespeare) And so I guess I interpret sneak-eating as lying to myself, although it really isn't. Eating is eating.

Please don't beat yourself up over this. I would suggest that if you catch yourself sneak-eating or mindless-eating, stop yourself and fix a real meal or a real snack. Sit and enjoy. It's OK.

Having been through a spouse's surgery recently, I know that the weekend before the surgery is very anxiety-filled. Do what you have to do to get yourself through it. I'm sure all that rotten winter weather isn't helping much either, on many levels.

Speaking of which, LOL at your weatherman in yesterday's entry. I'm sure he's just bursting with excitement at all the weather action!

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
YES...Our weatherman is having the time of his life.....finally...some excitement for him!!! And yes...the tension is high here.....it seems to be more on the weather right now...just GETTING there...is a question....I know he is on edge......odd how between us we have had several surgeries...but they were always much less fuss...and not much time to think about it beforehand...this has been grueling...there have been several things that had to be done beforehand....that never were before...I think I like the old way better.


happy-1 on 04/14/2018:
I get that you guys stockpiled food before your health changes and so the food stockpile doesn't fit your current needs... but isn't it more expensive to aggravate health conditions than to buy bulk healthier foods? Wouldn't you get a tax credit if you donate to a food bank? Or if you and a neighbor go in on a pig, couldn't you feed it that stuff and get some pork out of it? It just seems to me that the sneaky eating and beating yourself up about food is mostly coming from a core alignment issue between your current actions and your real needs and goals... increasing and aggravating your anxiety as you also worry about the upcoming surgery.

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
Good ideas...and something to think about.......Our local food bank closed...and there are no others around here that I know of. I' will give these ideas some thought...Thanks


Maria7 on 04/14/2018:
Hello, my name's Maria and I have an eating disorder, also! Girl, I think you are acting out with your 'eating fit' from anxiety over feeling overwhelmed with the icy weather and your upcoming travel. If it wasn't for the ice and snow and all, I think you would feel a lot less anxious, understandably. As for the prepping, I think you are very smart to store food. Better to have it and not need it than vice versa! :-)

bearcountrygg on 04/14/2018:
It is nice to have it...even for times like this when we are basically snowed in...our town has totally shut down and the police dept says stay off the roads...but then again...having so much can make it hard to be moderate...it's a blessing and a curse...LOL



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