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Donkey - Thursday Jul 19, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Feeling better today.  Yesterday, it seems that if anything could go wrong it did, including tearing my contact lens and causing annoying irritation to my eyeball.  Then I burned that same eyeball, by rinsing off my new contact lens, but not washing my hands thoroughly enough after eating raw poblano peppers.  When I popped that lens back into my eye - YOWZA!!!!  Good thing it was at the end of the day, because I was like, "I cannot work like this, I am going home."

My soreness was a combination of hormones, over-extension of hips, a little arthritis in the hips, and a tiny bit of actual fatigue.   I feel much better today.

Work should be interesting today, with most everyone gone.  My Boss is still suffering with back/hip pain, so he'll be in for only a few hours, and probably in the afternoon.  My male co-worker has today and tomorrow off.  Queen Bee is working abbreviated hours this week because her son has camp.  (Abbreviated hours but not abbreviated pay, unlike the rest of us who have to actually work to get paid.)  So that leaves the receptionist clerk (the one who makes a million mistakes on every file she touches), the Associate attorney, and his Secretary.  I've tried to elevate the Secretary to "bankruptcy specialist" or "legal assistant" but the Associate insists on calling her Secretary.  She's actually smarter than he is and knows more about legal procedure than he does.

Oh see how the toxicity of the workplace starts to infect my life so subtlely and easily?  

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/19/2018:
Oh my gosh...my eyes watered just thinking about poblano pepper in the eye.....but happy that you are feeling beter today...at least some of them are gone today...should be a little quieter around there?


happy-1 on 07/19/2018:
Omg... capasin in the eyeball!!! OW!!!! Feel better!


happy-1 on 07/19/2018:
And the Associate will likely be the first one eaten in the zombie apocalypse with that attitude.


horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2018:
SO SORRY about they eye frustrations / situations !!!!!!!

GLad to hear you are feeling a bit better TODAY!

that's why he doesn't want her position elevated, he feels a challenge towards his abilities if she gets a raised title...

people do not all want others in the company to rise in title or pay if they aren't getting that for themselves too...its politics.

don't let the office politics get under the skin...


horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2018:
under your skin....if they aren't in direct affect to your work...or if you do NOT have the power to change her title, you know???? :)


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Donkey - Wednesday Jul 18, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Very achy and sore today.  Hips and lower back not co-operating.  Taking care and pre-cautions to heal.  Very hungry, but delaying my eating until I get to work, as is my usual routine to have my oatmeal breakfast at work.

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/18/2018:
YES, it def helps to eat at work and not before since you'll get hungry at work no matter what as i've learned too...

what's wrong? why are you not feeling good? just tired? hormones?


bearcountrygg on 07/18/2018:
Coming down with something?


happy-1 on 07/19/2018:
Sounds like stress and overwhelm... self care lady! Epsom salts, a home pedicure... A night off!

Donkey on 07/19/2018:
I need to do a foot soak with epsom salts. YES. THIS. DO IT.


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Donkey - Tuesday Jul 17, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Checking in....   Thank goodness the temperatures and humidity are more managable and I was able to turn off the AC yesterday.  (See my comment to Bear's comment on my last entry for more insights.)

Food has been good; exercise has been good.  Stamina has much improved.  I was feeling that muscle fatigue in my legs last week, telling me that something was going on with the muscles, but that seems to have reconciled itself, and I find myself choosing harder challenges on the new execise bike (more resistance).

I've been working on adding a new habit, but I'm not sure it's established yet... so I'll hold off on saying anything more at this time, but I'm mentioning it now because I want to comment on it, whether it sticks or not.

Work was weird yesterday.  The boss hurt his back -- just like I did the last time, hips misaligned causing pressure on a nerve -- so I was covering more bases than usual.  I hope he feels better soon.  Nothing ages you faster than back pain.  My husband said to me, "Start looking for a new job."

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/17/2018:
Your hot temps have arrived in NYC i'll tell you that! but i like it...mostly indoors i am so when i actually go outside, i can take the heat :-) !!!!

my stamina is going up too :) my legs also feel something, muscle cramps. they now sell lots of water with electrolytes...i plan to get that time to time this summer i think i need it...perhaps helping with my leg cramps here and there. i get leg cramps occasionally, not everyday or week. lately it's more often...

i am intrigued to hear most def about your new habit when you see fit to mention it. one new "semi-habit" i want to keep is being able to bike to the gym. it's def 2 workouts in one and diff leg muscles that actually make my legs feel better rather than worse after walking too much, etc.

don't listen to your husband...keep the job. keep the routine that makes you $$$....then you can concentrate on other goals like your fitness, family, house maintenance...

back pain has got to be the worst...supposedly some people feel back pain when it's stress only...that really gets to them so much they feel the stress physically...per a book i once read.


graindart on 07/17/2018:
We've been in the 90's for awhile now, with one day up to 102. But the nice thing is that it still drops into the 50's or low 60's most nights, so it doesn't seem as bad. I remember driving through Arizona where the high for the day was 105+. We were driving through at around 1am-2am and the temperature was still in the high 90's.

Looking forward to hearing about the new habit.


bearcountrygg on 07/17/2018:
OHHH...I'm also wondering what the new habit is......


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Donkey - Sunday Jul 15, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

The humidity here in Chicagoland is just unreal.  It was very damp this morning - could not get any laundry to dry.  Now that the sun has come out, it will start to get hot, too.  I'm hoping that by Monday night, I can turn off the AC for a while.  

Still, the weather did not stop me from taking a walk this morning.  It was too early for lunch, so why not?  I was on a journey to find one house that didn't have their AC on, but could not find anyone.  Everyone has their windows shut, so I feel kind of validated that I'm OK having the AC on.  (Yes, sometimes I feel guilty for having the AC on.)

Husband and I are on our own for dinner tonight, with both kids at work this evening.  Tomorrow, though, both will be home.  I'm sure a greater part of the day will be spent dealing with the car that won't start.

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/15/2018:
I could only wish that D would feel guilty for having the air on......I freeze all summer....and it is currently 66 in here....he feels totally justified.....I'm wearing a sweat shirt....but going outside does feel like summer.....he still sweats at 66....so every once in a while I go up and put my icy cold hands on his cheeks......he doesn't get the point...he thinks I'm trying to cool him down...UGH!!!

Donkey on 07/17/2018:
If we had a smaller house that was more energy efficient to cool (i.e. no high ceilings, small rooms), I know I'd feel differently.

With respect to husbands, I have become much more relaxed about turning on the AC in consideration of my husband's AS. Good sleep is *essential* for his symptom management, and high humidity causes just awful soreness in his back and neck.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/15/2018:
glad you got a walk in...today i'm on the couch for most of the day. it's been an interesting summer get balance in between full days and days off on the weekend!

what happened now with your car!? i do not think i read about this previously..

Donkey on 07/17/2018:
Turns out it was a cable to the battery. It's the kids' shared car, a 2004 Honda Accord with over 200K miles on it. Hoping it can hold on until October.


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Donkey - Saturday Jul 14, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 129.0

Oh I feel so much thinner today at 129.0 --- NOT.  I'm really surprised at this number because I do not feel thinner, and rather feel bloated and "thick".  I don't know how to explain feeling "thick" except that it's the complete opposite of feeling lean.  I mentioned previously that I'm having some hormone/female issues this month.  This seems to have evolved into bathroom problems, too, or instead... something.  

My scales seem to be consistent with each other, although the one weighs me higher than the other.  The higher scale measures muscle/fat % and oh how I wish I had kept better track of the muscle %.  In fact, I think moving forward, when I weigh in on Saturdays, I'm going to start tracking muscle/fat/bone %, rather than focusing on the overall number -- although, I will still keep track of the overall weight number for now.  My goal, though, is to "let go" of the weight number by the end of this year, so that in 2019, presuming we're all still here, I will be logging weight only once a month, but tracking the other factors on a weekly basis.  This would be a HUGE step for me.

Not much planned for this weekend, seeing as the weather is not very cooperative.  The kids' shared car is out of commission, so until that gets fixed (or worse - replaced), I'll be doing some driving kids around to their respective jobs.  You know me by now though that I have to have some task at hand to keep my day organized or I devolve into sloth and gluttony.

Progress as of today: 57.5 lbs lost so far, only -7.5 lbs to go!

graindart on 07/14/2018:
I'm also hoping to do less frequent weigh-ins on the scale in the future. I'm guessing I'll be back into the 170's over the next few weeks, so will try to transition into some type of maintenance mode then. Would really like to switch from daily weigh-in to weekly.


horn_of_plenty on 07/14/2018:
You are getting used to the lower weight so it's easier to maintain that lower weight and you prob recognize bloating and stuff in smaller amounts and recognize slight gains better and before it's a bigger increase on the scale


horn_of_plenty on 07/14/2018:
Good 2019 goals I also don't track weight everyday at all


bearcountrygg on 07/14/2018:
The scale can be our undoing....somehow..it can get to be an excuse to eat in a way we might not want to......


happy-1 on 07/14/2018:
Don't they have bikes, skateboards, friends, or bus passes? I was on buses at 14.

Donkey on 07/15/2018:
No buses, too far to skateboard or bike - plus not a very bike-friendly route to either job. Daughter has been getting a ride home from work at around 11pm, which is good because I cannot stay up that late anymore... sad.

The lack of public transportation in these suburbs is so sad. Need a car to get ANYWHERE.


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Donkey - Wednesday Jul 11, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

Checking in, but not much to say.  I'm bracing for another heatwave coming on Friday and lasting through Monday night.  *sigh*  Not that it matters because the mosquitos are so bad this year.

And I'm having a particularly difficult month - things just feel off this month.  So things are just out of sorts and I'm not feeling very encouraged at the moment. 

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/11/2018:
I'm right there with you. Out of sorts. OT appointment picked me up though... A little realistic hope to get things moving.


bearcountrygg on 07/12/2018:
Shake things up Donkey....do Something different...anything.....not necessarily diet related.…...just something new. Maybe start reading a new book...or an old book that you loved.....anything.....


horn_of_plenty on 07/12/2018:
i'm having a rough patch now too...very low energy and sleeping a LOT. skipping gym to rest.

maybe buy a real Cintronella plant ! my parents had one to help with the mosquitos in their backyard.


graindart on 07/12/2018:
Diet-wise, June was a rough month for me. And it followed through the first week of July. Didn't have any desire to eat right. Hate to admit it, but I actually sat there wondering if forcing myself to eat right was even worth it. The thought actually crossed my mind about just giving up and allowing myself to balloon back up to where I was before (283 lbs).

Now that I've been back on-plan for 4 or 5 days straight, I'm feeling in control again and can't believe that I actually considered giving up just a few days ago. It's crazy how much of a roller-coaster my emotions can go through when dealing with food and my desires to overeat junk. Thankfully the emotional roller-coaster is mostly just on food based stuff.


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Donkey - Sunday Jul 08, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

I accomplished my weekend chore list for the most part.  I am waiting for my husband's clothes to dry outside so that I can bring them in.  Also, I am waiting for the 2 cleaned cat boxes to dry in the sun.  I'll bring those in and refill them.  The corn litter I use for them is so much more environmentally friendly and dust free.  Very easy to handle, and the cats like it - as long as I buy the GREEN bag, and not the RED bag or the BLACK bag.  Apparently, although they are the same material, the formula is different as my one kitty will make sure that I know this.

Both of my children have work this afternoon until the late night (11pm), so my husband and I have the afternoon, dinner hour, and evening free for ourselves.  I'm sure there are chores that I could do around the house, but I am using this afternoon to relax and enjoy.  I have found that taking time for one's own pleasure makes a significant difference in how I enter the work week.  If I don't have that ME time, work is so much more stressful.

I've decided that I'm going to continue my evening workouts - as long as there are still episodes of GBBO to watch (LOL) - and the BCAA (amino acid) experiment because these are things that I feel I get some added benefits from, even though they do not necessarily reflect well on the scale.

The middle of the year was last weekend, Saturday into Sunday.  I feel that this year has been about finding that balance in life, whether it be mind/body, work/life, etc.   I don't know that I'll achieve that, but I'm getting better at it.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/08/2018:
One thing I learned...is to buy the litter that the cats like...otherwise...YOU WILL ALL SUFFER!!!! The shredded newspaper experiment at our house went TOTALLY BAD QUICKLY!!! And OH YEAH.....if you have one of those litter boxes with the lid and the doorway...….never accidentally put the lid back on with the doorway facing the wall....OHG!!!!!! The cat had to poop in the middle of our bed...so that I knew....nuff said!!! Always make time for yourself too...….otherwise...what is it all for???


Maria7 on 07/08/2018:
Congrats on your maintenance (which can be much more difficult than losing to goal).


Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2018:
i am not sure you mentioned what job your son ended up getting?!

i think finding a balance in life is very similar to maintaining weight...balance in life tends to go a little better at times or up at times and back down at times. and we try our best to moderate thru it...and ENJOY life too! haha.

i hope you enjoy your time with your hubby :) and your me time...lately i'm not having enough alone time and starting to feel it!



Donkey - Saturday Jul 07, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.5

.... Or possibly 132.0.  More scale games today.  Weighed in on the old digital scale at 131.5 twice.  Went on to the newer Ironman scale (which usually weighs me 2 pounds heavier), and weighed in at 131.4.  Went back onto the old scale and weighed in (twice) at 132.0.  Enough of that.  Maybe I'm at the point now where I can just switch over to the Ironman scale.

So what is this, a 3 pound weigh gain????  Must be the eating out this week, although last night, the "all you can eat" fish fry didn't pan out because the restaurant had just ran out of fish!  So I had a salad of which I ate half.  I was really hoping for a better weigh-in than what I got today.  I was visualizing lower numbers - didn't work. 

It seems as though my added evening biking workouts aren't helping much at all -- in fact they might be hurting my numbers.  (To recap:  I've been riding the new exercise bike with higher, effective resistances in the evening while losing myself in an episode of Great British Baking Show...)  I've been using more resistance for about 45 minutes, resulting in an extra 500-700 calories a week being burned.  Food has not changed that much.  This is the end of Week 3 of the amino acids experiment...  Not sure WHAT to do... or what my next step would be.  Obviously, though, something is not working.


My errands this weekend:  Yardwork (tree trimming and hosing down the AC unit), go to the library, go to Target to buy special cat litter, work on changing out 2 of the 4 litter boxes. (The cats have decided that 2 of the boxes are for #1, and 2 of the boxes are for #2.  Time to change out the litter in the #2 boxes, LOL...)  And of course the neverending laundry.  Enough to keep me busy in a happy sort of way.

Progress as of today: 55 lbs lost so far, only -5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/07/2018:
Cats are so interesting.....and opinionated!!!! Funny...love em!!! Switch out the scale...and hide the other one.....they are technically calibrated...they do bounce around a bit...just pick one...and go with it..I say! We have 2 that read differently here too...apparently mine reads about 4 pounds higher...than D's......so he avoids mine.....I don't mind...as long as I consistantly use just one....and how about that laundry.....the never ending chore.

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
Yes, these are wise words. I've come to the realization that I need - for my own sanity - to make a commitment to a scale and stick with it. Period.


graindart on 07/07/2018:
I weigh myself once each morning on the same scale at roughly the same time, always wearing the same thing. It's just become habit. Multiple scales and / or multiple daily weigh-ins would cause me to be on an even more turbulent roller-coaster of emotions than I am already.

BTW - you've been doing awesome at maintaining your weight around 130. I searched back through your entries and it's been just over a year since you dropped out of the 140's. Good job on being so consistent.

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
Thank you for the reality check. I have seldom been able to maintain - EVER. <<<which is truly a sad statement, I'm afraid.

No, I take that back, in my 20s, for about 2 years, I was able to maintain in the low 140s for a period of time without any insanity creeping into my methods.


bearcountrygg on 07/07/2018:
I meant to say that they are NOT technically calibrated...….they are all a little different//apparently the only ones that are very accurate are the drs scales.

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
I knew what you meant. The only problem with the doctor's scale - aside from never going to the doctor - is that I've usually already eaten and had coffee. One time, I weighed in with my keys in my pocket - an act of defiance against the weigh-in if I ever saw one.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
on a related note to yours about adding in exercise but it not working...lately when i try to add in more exercise, i cannot just eat both before and after it like i do on gym days, or everyday was starting to turn into 2200 cals because i would want a filling amount of food both before and after evening exercise !!!!!! no good.

salad may cause a slight weight gain bc of volume?

i do have to recommend you use ONE scale...why make yourself crazy?

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
I don't think it was the salad... Probably more of a water issue. My wedding ring is not as comfortable as it can be, which tells me that there's some swelling going on. And that could be due to the weather, salt intake, or increased exercise.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
i'm so glad your friday was better. i think the whole window replacement got to you the other day...and now it's the weekend, again! that's why going to work last week worked for me...nice and short mon and tues and rest and then 2 more days and that's it!

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
A complete understatement and stout observation. I agree - I was much more wigged out by the windows that I could have anticipated or probably that I was even aware of. I mean, I was aware of the anxiety, and that I was expressing and dealing with the anxiety in ways that are not easy to live with. I'm glad I sat and spoke to my boss about it. Just putting it out there relieves a lot of of the negativity.



Donkey - Friday Jul 06, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

Thank goodness it's Friday!  I feel much better today, which I do not know why because nothing has really changed from yesterday except my outlook.  

Yesterday was probably my weakest day:  the boss wanted to go out to lunch so he took me and my male co-worker to the Moose lodge.  I had a Caribbean chicken wrap (ate half, and of that half, only ate half of the tortilla wrap) with potato salad (1 cup? - ate half) and a small side of beans (1/3 cup? of which I ate half).  So not only was my lunch heavier than usual, but I didn't get my midday walk.  Oh well... still made my overall step goal and had a lighter dinner of salad and a sandwich, but still.  

After work, I am meeting up with my husband for a chair-yoga session.  This is offered to him for free because of his disability and spouses are welcome.  I'm really looking forward to this!  However, afterwards, my husband wants to take advantage of a 2-for-1 coupon for all-you-can-eat fish fry at a local restaurant.  This is not good on 3 levels:

  • Obviously, "all you can eat"
  • I feel like I've had too much eating out this week, so I'm not really enthusiastic about this.
  • With all the spending on new windows, I really feel like I have to pull back on spending, and husband keeps wanting to invite the kids along to the restaurant (so a family outing rather than just a date), making the $$ bill much more than if it were the 2 of us.  I hope that doesn't sound like "Mean Mom" too much...  

But I'm going to just try to relax about all of this and enjoy whatever happens.  Yes, we have to save up but on the other hand, we have to enjoy these moments too, and it won't be much longer that we can have family outings like this.  

We'll see how today plays out.

PS  STILL wish I had taken yesterday and today off from work...

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/06/2018:
I agree with relaxing and going with the flow......and all you can eat means you decide how much you eat......and kids coming along will be a thing of the past in the near future...….and you will have many years with just the 2 of you eating out alone.....MANY!!!!

When our boys were little , we would always get a booth in a restaurant so that we could block each boy in...LOL...and the youngest between 1 and 3...would rather stand on the seat and look around at all the people instead of eating...D would say "BRETT...stop looking at all of the people and sit down and eat"...he would sit down...take a bite...and pop right back up and survey the room again...he may have something there...enjoy the family...enjoy the surroundings...eat slowly and savor every bite....( ask for a container to put your leftovers in...and make the family eat them the next day...LOL)…..everybodys happy!!!


happy-1 on 07/06/2018:
Hugs. Maybe pick a healthier option if the whole fam comes? I learned the wrong food patterns from my parents



Donkey - Thursday Jul 05, 2018
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

Really regretting not having taken today and tomorrow off.  After all the anxiety from earlier this week, I'm feeling down this morning.  Again, this is not a good feeling to carry around with me going into work. I need to be positive, calm, kind, helpful...   Very hard to do when feeling like this..  IDK if it's the aftermath from the adrenaline from the anxiety, feeling tired from the excessive heat, feeling tired because I *am* tired, not enough carbs, overtraining... I'm not sure.  

I bought black-out curtains from Walmart yesterday for the family room  - something I've wanted to do for a long time - because the windows are large and so much heat and light come in...  The "fashionable" curtain wire (not a rod, a wire) could not sustain the weight and pulled out of the wall.  So now my new drapes are on the floor, the bracket for the wire is pulled out of the wall, and I'll have to look for a proper curtain rod or rods for husband & son to TRY to install.

The curtains were only slightly heavier than the sheers that were there before, so I highly suspect that the former owners did not install the brackets correctly.  She was supposively an "interior designer" and he was a "do-it-yourself" guy, but so much of the work that they did in this house to "decorate" was done improperly.  *sigh*

At least I am able to turn on the AC again now that the window job is complete.  Somehow though, I don't think that helped me sleep any better than I did.  The key things to this diary entry is that sleep is SO important to one's well-being.  And stress can be a HUGE distraction to one's efforts.

Maybe it's good that I go to work today, to distract myself from my own problems and focus on other people's complaints.

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/05/2018:
Same sleep problems for me last night too...and today is also a curtain day for me...…..washing now...hanging later...


Horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2018:
maybe YouTube some vidoes on installing the curtains...sorry that happened. i hope with video and proper instructions you'll be ok. i'm sure the rods may come with instructions...lol easier for some than others!

I agree that sleep is VERY important and glad i do it for the most part MUCH better now than i did in my mid-late 20's and even early 30's. just so glad i learned to sleep.

stress can be a major issue. i, for one, am glad you went to work as it's really a short week and easy week.

also, yes, try to distract yourself because i feel you made your stress even bigger than it was. i just hope you had some time to yourself on the day off. you did say you exercised, i am glad. my exercise was brief actually too yesterday - ran outta time for more. but it worked well because my body actually felt good this AM.



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