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Donkey - Saturday Aug 12, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

So I am back...  Not only is this the best forum to keep me accountable but also, I like being here with you all, reading your entries and comments.

 Yesterday was a tough eating day.  Did not indulge but knew I was eating more than usual.  This is a hormonal thing - same thing happened last month. Maybe I'm actually more hungry? (felt like it) Or more anxious and unable to manage it as well as normal w/o the hormones? (this is probably closer to the truth)

I've been doing well with my August goals, but I'm not sure if I will be able to keep up with the running goal.  I've been doing it, but frankly, I'm more of a walker.  And that's OK.  I still enjoy reading about other peoples' running adventures, and I know -- at least logically - that I can always jog/run if I feel like it.  But I'm not going to be strick about a regimen at this time.

Not sure if I'll be able to open the IRA account this month -- our money situation is changing and maybe not for the better --- but one HUGE step I took for myself (and Mr. Donkey) is to clean up our credit scores.  That is another financial goal I've been putting off, so taking that first step was really difficult for me to do.

On the plus side, weight training is going really well!  Still can't say I'm in love with it, but I'm sticking with it!  With time, I may identify more with weight training than running!

Daily push-ups are consistent.  I've skipped only 2 days and that was because I completely forgot to do them!   Hoping to see some nice arm definition by the end of the month :-)

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/14/2017:
Hi J-Donk!

And we like having YOU here, reading our daily rambles too! I enjoy reading yours & giving you insightful advice based on my own interpretation of your entries ! For real… now…let me start a readin’…!

You know, it’s not such a bad thing on some days to enjoy. I’m getting a LOT better at enjoying in smaller amounts – though I still have LOADS of work to do…hanging out lately with this male friend of mine who always stops eating when he’s full…I have learned from him. When I eat with him, I never come home in a mood to binge. It seems he relaxes me unlike what my relationship with my best friend used to be…it’s interesting! Even if I eat mostly carbs with him – like on Saturday night I had mostly beer and salad along with a bite of his bratwurst or something for dinner….i didn’t eat all night long or even have an urge to…something about hanging out with him has been REALLY good for my appetite…dampening it /letting me indulge in more of the dessert and carb world without getting hungry later…!?

I also eat more hormonally. When it’s that time of the month, I do crave to eat more rich, low fiber, food like chocolate, cookies, breads, pastas, crackers, chips, and ices and that sort of thing. It’s always that way. This past week I really went with it…and in turn had a lot less bathroom issues as I really didn’t need all the high fiber in so many veggies…had mostly grains and protein last week…it’s ok to get off the track in terms of substance…when overall you are doing it right.

Try not to blame yourself. I was practically angry at myself last night for deciding to “hang out” all weekend without the gym (to go tonight instead)…It felt so different to have fun both days of the weekend – I don’t think I’ve had this much carefree living EVER IN MY LIFE…and I was almost getting angry at myself bc of it…well….i realize that’s kinda stupid thinking. I realize that NOW IS THE TIME TO ENJOY (all time before academy)….and I invite you to let yourself relax along with me!

Hi Donkey…who says you cannot enjoy or indulge – especially on the weekend!? Most of my weekends are usually higher calorie than weekday eating. And then during the week my calories are (usually) a hair lower. Allowing yourself to relax a bit and indulge is not such a bad thing…as long as you can MOSTLY MODERATELY do it….don’t start to feel negative bc of a slight indulgence. Soon most indulgences won’t even feel worthwhile if you know what it takes to really maintain the body you want. Your tastes will shift. You’ll crave to eat things that help you maintain (like when I’m alone on a Friday night shoving tasty veggies down my throat – it’s not because I have to, but bc I want to)…you can share food with your hubby of the more glutinous type and mix it with a veggie base….anyways, don’t get angry, just move on forward. Learn from what you enjoy…include it in your diet.

And nobody says you HAVE TO RUN. Many fit people don’t. I wouldn’t, except for my NYPD major goal – so I HAVE to. I may stop after being in NYPD and just do a little elliptical or other lighter exercices like bike / walking. I am doing it bc if I do NOT, I will not be able to get thru or into the NYPD.

You know, the most important thing about exercise is that you should ENJOY it. You are NOT being paid to do it. It’s all on YOUR time. It’s not your job. Simply do what you enjoy. If you hate running, do NOT do it…

But more on running: sometimes it gets me anxious too. You see, running is a very different feeling from walking. It has taken me since like I think late May to get just SLIGHTLY better at it. It wasn’t easy. And just like you, doing something that isn’t easy is UNCOMFORTABLE. And pro athletes know this: in order to get better athletically / fitness-wise, you have to become used to getting UNCOMFORTABLE. Within reason though – as injury is NOT worth it. So it’s up to you – both HOW UNCOMFORTABLE (within reason) you want to get and how important it is to enjoy what you are doing.

As per the weights, I will always also love them more than cardio. They are what shape a body. Weights also produce muscle that burns calories when you are at rest which cardio doesn’t do. I think that lifting weights has a greater long-term benefit visually / aesthetically. I think weights are worth it in order to “feel you look good.” You have to decide what’s worth it – what you want most. I think you should keep up the weights, definitely. Weights and walking is certainly enough….

My mom doesn’t do weights…and her body shows it. Yeah, she’s slim, but are shoulders look so delicate that I could break them…I wish she’d spend money to learn from a personal trainer for like a half year. Oh how I wish.

You don’t have to be strict on yourself. Especially if your goals are not for career purposes. If my goal wasn’t for NYPD and I still wanted to run, I’d be running less, not as much as I do now. I’d probably just go at 1.5 miles of a walk/run each outing instead of my current 2mi. It’s just not worth the exhaustion / tiring oneself out. Luckily I’m getting through, of course, I have NO OPTION. You do more….take it.

Also, it’s important to keep switching a routine and seeing what works. The good thing I’ve noticed is that I’m really NOT losing much strength at all. As long as I keep up the intensity and reps (sometimes more reps are needed now in weightlifting to maintain my strength only going 2x per week). As I’ve added more cardio, my body has changed a little more…my abs / waist have gotten slightly smaller. Legs slightly leaner. So what I’ve learned is maybe it IS best to sometimes keep this routine of 2x a week weights & 2x a week cardio. This routine makes it VERY hard to get better quickly at either one…weights vs cardio…but it does allow me to keep a strength in each. I think when you want to improve, it needs to be 3x per week.

And that’s why I think people sometimes find it hard to fit in weights and cardio. It’s been very hard to balance the two. Like, I feel I cannot (as a working person) be really strong with muscles and be a runner. Or be really lean as a runner and be good at weights. But you can do both and be moderate at both, of course! LOL….just writing.

If you are cleaning your credit scores, does that mean you are paying back your loans / debt? Remember J, you cannot do EVERYTHING at once…just setting doable goals like you generally do will get you farther than you were last month. Not everything has to be an end-all, be-all. Just keep on trucking. That’s all you can ask yourself…

You just may identify with weights more one day. They are really important for us women!

Nice to hear of your daily pushups. Remember that when doing weights or any exercise, one day of rest between can be really helpful bc that is when the muscles you use have a chance to rebuild!


happy-1 on 08/15/2017:
Hugs. Glad you are back.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/17/2017:
I hope i didn't kill you with the long comment! You know me, it's relaxing for me to comment and provides a nice break at work!


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Donkey - Saturday Aug 05, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 132.5

I'm so angry. I tried to post an update 3 times, but my computer wouldn't let me until I updated Windows 10. (It's still updating, lol.)

So I tried to copy the text that I had typed out and for some unknown reason, Diet Diaries doesn't let me copy and paste, so I just gave up. I'm so frustrated, I may never post again! >:-[

Progress as of today: 54 lbs lost so far, only -4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/05/2017:
Keep trying....we need you here!


Horn_of_plenty on 08/07/2017:
really, you cannot copy and paste at all...maybe make sure you have your settings on compatibility view?

ahh, we still like this entry from you....lol, hopefully you aren't angry anymore!


Horn_of_plenty on 08/07/2017:
btw, sometimes i cannot directly copy and paste either...but, it gives me a box that opens up when i try to c&p... and i paste in there, and it works good enough (font is usually off from the rest of the entry)...


happy-1 on 08/08/2017:
Aaaaw... I understand!



Donkey - Tuesday Aug 01, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

August Goals:

1. Run at least 2x a week.

2. Resume weight training - simplifying routines, with heavier weights, every other day.

3.  Open IRA.

4.  Daily push-ups:  3 sets of 10-15 reps.

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/02/2017:
Lol...i didn't mean to post the same comment twice below! ....I like that you have set goals. Keep on...

Even though this entry is just your goals, I smiled when I saw this type of entry from you. NEVER EVER give up on yourself or think you can't do something. Only reason for that could be that you are striving for TOO MUCH....i like that you have goals and are making a big effort to make the best J-Donk that you can right now. This is my way too...and i am almost happy that i do not go to gym 3x a week...i may keep that schedule more for life. i am not sure. it's so nice to have some cardio finally in my routine....it's good to change things around and always be that work in progress.

Good luck with opening the IRA let us know how it works out for you - I am sending you my best regards regarding that matter!

2x a week cardio i find good. currently i do weights also 2x. My limit FOR NOW is 4x a week working out and no more. For me, running takes it all outta me, so i know to schedule the 4 workouts all on different days - never combining a run day with weights. that's just me.

Keep up the good work....also i was at gym yesterday and thought to myself - "glad i do 3 sets of every exercise i do...this has always been GOOD for me!" glad you are doing the same with the pushups!

Sometimes i do 4 sets, if i feel i'm getting weaker, i'll do one last set with lighter weights (whatever exercise it may be) and try to push a few more reps or just the same amount of reps for that last, lighter, 4th set.


bearcountrygg on 08/02/2017:
I need to set some goals for August too...good idea.



Donkey - Saturday Jul 29, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.5

Happy birthday to me.  I'm putting on a happy face, but deep down, I'm feeling sad.  It just occurred to me last night that here I am at 47 freakin' years old and my life still seems to revolve around weight, exercise, body image, etc.  So let me talk some more about it :-)

I had a good weigh-in this morning, but I think that's partly because weight training has fallen to the wayside this week and this month.  I'm giving myself a break on that because it's been a really hard month:  father in law dying, husband's health issues and ability to work declining, my folks moving and then stepfather's health declining, stressed out about my kids and their future plans or lack thereof, and then just the i-n-s-a-n-i-t-y at work with crazy clients, crazy files, my own inability to focus at times leading to dumb/bad mistakes...

This week, I had been meaning to follow up with my mom on my stepfather's health, but just got to the point where I couldn't focus on one more stressful thing.  Turns out he had been hospitalized to drain fluid from his abdomen.  This is what I'm talking about.  I just can't handle this.

Today hubby and I are supposed to have The Talk where we discuss our future gameplan for his health, his ability to work, his disability/retirement, planning for my retirement ($), what we're going to do about this house that is draining us financially, emotionally, and physically...  Don't want to have this talk, but this is the talk that I mentioned about 3-4 months ago that we needed to have and kept putting off.

Anyway, enough depressing stuff...  Life is for living.  I've got some goals for myself this coming up month, so I'll be focusing on that, because we gotta keep moving forward in this earthly battle.  I'll save those for another post I think.

Today is my "relax" day so I am looking forward to a lovely rib dinner made by my husband (he's a good cook!), and cake & ice cream.  Hubby and the kids got me a fantastic new coffee maker -- I'm in love with already :-)

Progress as of today: 53 lbs lost so far, only -3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/29/2017:
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! I get that planning for the future talk...we had that same talk about 10 years ago.....sold the BIG house...and cut our living expenses drastically...that house was costing us $33,000 every year...and what a savings when we got out from under it. My husband retired at 48 because he was eligible...so we lived mainly on his pension and what ever I made until we turned 62 and SS kicked in....it's doable....for us....paying off ALL debt and continuing to pay everything up every month has been key....no interest is a huge savings ( I still do lease a car so there is always a monthly bill there..)...but other than that....we owe no one...and it took a he burden off our shoulders....you can do it...it does take some belt tightening at first..but you will love it when it all comes together.

Donkey on 08/01/2017:
Oh yes, I can! I did the Dave Ramsey method to get rid of all of our debt except the 1st and 2nd mortgage. Now we're working on downsizing, cleaning, clearing, and trying to sell off stuff.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/30/2017:
OMG you are soooo young! Happy Bday to my fave J-donkey Lady!....i promise to write more....need to at least tell you a very happy birthday and that you are REALLY YOUNG! weight and stuff is not a bad thing to think about. do not worry and do not treat yourself like shiznit! you are a great lady!

Donkey on 08/01/2017:
Thank you!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/30/2017:
OMG you are soooo young! Happy Bday to my fave J-donkey Lady!....i promise to write more....need to at least tell you a very happy birthday and that you are REALLY YOUNG! weight and stuff is not a bad thing to think about. do not worry and do not treat yourself like shiznit! you are a great lady!

Donkey on 08/01/2017:
Thanks again ;-)


happy-1 on 08/03/2017:
Hugs and Hapy Birthday!



Donkey - Sunday Jul 23, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

Slept in for an additional hour because my morning news program was pre-empted by golf.  I was sweating after my bike ride -- must be the humidity - but I wanted to REALLY sweat like those people who take selfies in my Fitbit groups, so I went for a walk -- which I really wanted to be a run, but that didn't work out that way...

Humid and sunny made for a very uncomfortable walk - but that's just what I wanted.  I did jog a small stretch that goes through a cornfield. It's a private area, so I felt that I would be OK jogging with my wide-brimmed hat and Smurfy blue shoes.  (Don't know what I'm talking about?  Google Smurf and you'll know.)

I really would like to be a runner, but just can't seem to do it.  I need a long warm-up (walking) for one thing...  Get winded...  Then get discouraged and stop.

My Harry Potter plans have been post-poned because someone ELSE has figured out that all of the large-print Harry Potter books never get checked out.  So I had to place a "hold" on book #4.  Thankfully, I'm not as far along with #3 as I thought, so I should be done with #3 by the time #4 becomes available.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/23/2017:
I know smufy blue...I have a pair of fake crocs in smurfy blue. Never read the Harry Potter books but I ordered all of them from amazon for our Grandsons years ago and they had to take turns with their Mother...she loved them too.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2017:
DONKEY...you CAN be a runner. But you have to start off slow. I was getting winded too...i still do, but not the problem is the strength in my legs. I train for running only 2x a week since i love my dear weights so i do them the other 2x a week days for a total of 4 workouts a week (2 jogging, 2 weights). It works for now and i might even take a couple weeks off the gym in later August or September to take my running a step further.

In order for me to run, I set a standard of mileage. My goal is 2mi each time (of walking / jogging) but if i am feeling weak, i never feel bad about leaving after 1.5 mi which has happened at least 1x in the past month if not 2x. For me, with jogging, less is more in order to combat chances of injury. I am used to pushing my limits lol...and less so on preventing accidents and injuries that occur from training that way....

but one way i did it was by coming up with a mileage distance that i'm happy with and that i've mentally agreed to not go much past for the whole summer.

try that maybe...it's a jog / walk. yes, walk to warm up, then stretch (or at least stretch when you are done with the exercising)...so walk to start (which i didn't do much of today lol i just went into it pretty much straightaway bc i was caffeinated lol)...but anyways, short walk to start, then jog, when you feel winded - just walk again. this is what i do. then when you feel you have recovered decently, go back to jog...one day you'll be jogging. it's a long process.

you prob don't enjoy feeling winded bc you do NOT feel in control. that's what i hate about jogging too...but it's starting to feel better for me, as i get better.

but you do NOT have to be a jogger...it's up to you. it may take awhile. you can do anything you want.

for me, with jogging, it took me LONGER than average to get back into it again. It takes me LONGER than average to get my mileage up. It takes me LONGER to get better than an average person due to my fitness, ability and injury in my past. But it's doable. anything is doable..

I'm proud of you with the weights. Because weight training can change a body. running you lose weight, but weight training gives you a fit look even with extra pounds on a body, weights fix the proportions.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2017:
I also commented on your entry below :)


Maria7 on 07/24/2017:
You sure have done well getting to your goal.



Donkey - Saturday Jul 22, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

Not a good week.  I feel scattered and disorganized, unable to focus -- work, home, husband, family, finances -- all of it.  Kept up with the cardio, not so regular with the weight training, although I was pleased with the abbreviated upper body workout. Did half of the exercises but stepped it up with heavier weights.

Still maintaining, thought that my weigh-in might be a lower number this week, but this is fine.  Actually, it's probably better for me, mentally, not to have a very low number.  I find myself starting to think about food too much... don't want to slip back into disordered habits.

Going to the library to check out the book I held on reserve to heal lower back pain.  This is the author that Horn of Plenty recommended, which I believe discusses the cognitive aspect to (back) pain.  Plus, I'll be checking out Harry Potter #4 in anticipation of finishing HP #3 over the weekend.  My summer reading "project" was to re-read all of the Harry Potter books.  Helps me relax before going to bed at night.

I'm very grateful that we did not have any of the flooding that people very nearby have had from the midwest rains this week.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/22/2017:
There is no shame in maintaining....better than a gain....I too get obsessed with food at times....one thing I have noticed with youtube dieters is their obsession with groceries ( me too)...I am a stockpiler..I can say that back in the day when my weight was right where it was supposed to be...we did not have a house full of food...I shopped as needed. I can honestly say that my food obsession involves shopping and eating.

Donkey on 07/23/2017:
I'm in the midst of emptying out my pantry, as I noticed that not only was it getting too full (i.e. no more room) but also I was buying duplicates and triplicates of items. Madness :-)


BearCountryGG on 07/23/2017:
I do it too...and now that my husbands diet has changed for the rest of his like ....a lot of the stuff we have isn't even something he can have....so I will be using it all up myself....so for our pantry stash I'm not adding anything right now either,


Horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2017:
I am sorry it's been a rough week. It might be to the funeral and the trip from last week...and needing some you-time / relax time from it all.

Just keep on. You are smart on the food element and by noticing your past patterns and not wanting to start with that again. I do the same thing. I am constantly learning more about myself as you are. We all learn continuously.

Good for you on those reading projects. I have a really cute book for you when you get a chance it takes 3-4 short reading sessions to finish because it's VERY short. It's cute and the author, well one of the co-authors, just passed away. He was famous. The book is called "Who Moved My Cheese," by Spencer Johnson and you will NOT be disappointed for reading it. I read it last week, at lunch very briefly it's EXTREMELY short...and i was glad i did. It reinforces why in life things change and why it's important for us to be able to change along with the changes! You'll enjoy it...i gave it to my dad...i hope he reads it...i'm glad he took it before i returned it to my library.

I hope the "healing back pain" works for you. I never read it - let me know how it is....i hope it's not boring?! I only read the other book by that author, which was the first book i EVER read having to do with mental / emotional pain being transfered to physical pain and how to overcome...thank gosh i read it...someone on here told me to ! thank gosh for getting started, learning to overcome. If not for that book, for people here, for my good friends and support in general, i'd never be where i am today. lots of books later & positive thinking and friends, i've made it!

and you are too! I'm glad to hear you did cardio work and you shortened the weights so you could still do some (EXCELLENT THINKING!). It is best to do SOME versus NONE! very much so!

really proud of you, donkey. don't be too hard on yourself. I had a rough week at work, too.

two new coworkers (both around 2-4 months at company), work TONS of overtime....well..i know i cannot. but sometimes i cannot believe the hours they do....i feel like people might think i'm a slacker, but i know better. i used to work twice as many OT hours as them....and that's not my goal these days. i cannot think about it....my goal cannot happen if i do OT bbecause OT kills me and then i do not have the strength, stamina, endurance or sleep (rest) to get my goals in....so...i say to myself that they will NOT be able to do the OT for the long run, and that i'm good where i am at now :-P



Donkey - Saturday Jul 15, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.5

Gained 1.5 pounds -- still in my "goal" range (50lbs lost = weighing in at 136.5), so it should be no problem to get back down under goal (135-ish) now that I am home with easy access to fresh vegetables.

Yes, I can do this!

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2017:
YES you can do this! I am glad to see you back and back into routine! You rock, Ms. Donkey! Never stop.


happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Yum! Veggies!


thinnside40 on 07/17/2017:
YES, You can!


Maria7 on 07/20/2017:
You've really done well in getting to your goal. Congrats!



Donkey - Friday Jul 14, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

I have returned from downstate Illinois, for the wake and funeral of my father-in-law.  It was harder than I thought it would be.  He was a good man.

Being out of town, at these family events, and with the stress & sadness of the situation, it was incredibly difficult to eat healthy.  I am dreading tomorrow's weigh-in but I do not want to deny any damage that may have been done.

I am proud of myself though for planning ahead to get exercise in.  And I do not think I would have done that if it weren't for my Fitbit.  Gotta meet those daily goals!

So Thursday I woke up at 3am so that I could ride the bike for an hour before leaving.  We took a few stops and I walked and stretched at each one.  This morning, I woke up at 5am and went down to the hotel gym.  Some guy was on the bike - and he ended up being there for a whole hour! - so I did the treadmill for 35 minutes and the eliptical for 30.  On the way home, I walked at every stop except the last one at a gas station that was not in a good area for walking.

I had a small salad and some watermelon for tonight's dinner.  After eating out all day yesterday and then breakfast and lunch today, it would be OK with me if we didn't eat out again for a while.  I don't know how people who eat out every day do it.  My tongue feels burned from too much salt -- and I think I already use quite a bit of salt in my regular diet, so that is saying something.

Oh I almost forgot to add!!!!  On Wednesday, one of my daughter's friends came over and helped move my mom's treadmill from the garage into the house!!!  So all I need now is for 6 bolts to get screwed in, and then I can start using my new used treadmill!

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/15/2017:
Losing parents and other family members is so hard, please accept my condolences on your loss, I cared for my parents for 7 1/2 years until their deaths and I put weight on during that time. You are almost at your goal, congratulations on that and I agree, eating out is problematic.

Donkey on 07/15/2017:
Thank you very much for your kind words (((hugs)))


Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2017:
You know, your entry sounds really wonderful (in spite of the unfortunate circumstances). What I mean is - it sounds very positive and proud - like you know you planned right and because you did you were truly successful in this trip to Illinois.

You sound like you made it thru the emotional events quite well because you were prepared and able to. I commend you .... continue to be proud, hold your head up & stride thru tough situations - continue to do the good things & I'm glad you stopped at most rest stops! Healthy lady!


happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Hugs!



Donkey - Sunday Jul 09, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

After 5 jumbo toasted marshmallows yesterday, I realized that I am sad and trying to self-medicate with sugar.  Now that I know this, I will be able to seek alternatives as I go through another difficult week with the wake and funeral.

Also, this is the week that my own folks move out to Las Vegas.  So while I am not involved with that part, I am worried about them and hope that they arrive OK and are able to set up their new home easily and quickly.  My (step) dad's health is not very good, so it's important that they get out there, set up, and then can relax and enjoy each other for whatever time left Papa has.

I'll be gone for 2 workdays, so I expect to come back to about 100 emails.  I could try to go in on Sunday to just catch up and set myself up for a good Monday, but I might need the time on Sunday just to reset myself, physically and emotionally.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/09/2017:
Meant to add that I used the energy from the marshmallows for an AWESOME upper body weight training session - YES!

And I have placed a hold at the library for John Sarno's "Healing Back Pain" to help me work through the mind-body connection with my driving issues. I'm hopeful that this will help.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2017:
YES, you can DEFINITELY do the drives. take your time, don't rush, have music. I'm glad your hubby is with you - i always find longer drives easier with someone coming with me.

If my grandma was listening to you and you asked her if you could do the drives, she'll tell you that you can do anything! My grandma always gave everyone the best advice and always was reminding us that we were capable of anything. And you are!!!!

Btw, i was reading about depression and people in general with anxiety (like myself) and one of the things that make people with these things have is the ability to realize the power of certain foods - like sugars - that do in fact lift moods (the seratonin i believe)...so there is truth also to why you had those marshmallows. It's good you stopped though - it's not worth getting fat over - but that's why i don't limit my carbs (good carbs) anymore...i was actually getting depressed eating the other way! but there's so science in carbs and their impact on mood.

ohhh, i'm glad you have a great weight training...i'll be doing that today (after i leave work early to do it because i'm not suddenly skipping out on my love if i have to work and see parents - i'll just do it in between!) i considered i always give my all and i'm allowed to do what i love and need to do to feel good this week - not skip more sessions.

oh, so good job on the session and i am SURE it did help!

I never read Healing Back Pain but did read the Mind-Body Connection which was EXCELLENT.

Take your time reading it - i'm sure it will be GREAT. Reading his other book as well as other authors on being my best, self motivation, and other similar topics has helped me grow a lot as of late (this past year i've been reading those books - maybe even over a year, actually).



Donkey - Saturday Jul 08, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

I feel fat today.  Very surprised that the scale was so kind today.

The wake is downstate Illinois on Thursday and the funeral is Friday morning.  6.5 hour drive -- I hope my back can make it.  I thought about what Horn said and I had recently come to a similar "realization" that perhaps my pain is also associated with PTSD from previous driving experiences.  Driving and autos have always been a really touchy/explosive area, emotionally speaking, and I'm wondering if these drives are somehow triggering subconscious memories, thus manifesting in a physical stress reaction resulting in back pain. 

And now another unpleasant experience to associate with long, highway driving.  Great.  Well, I will do my best.

I have no July goals other than to maintain my weight.  Maybe after the funeral, and we're back home, I can think about this.  Maybe I'll think about it during the drive(s) to and from the funeral.  I truly do feel like I'm on the edge of challenging myself in a new way, but just don't know in what way yet.

Thank you to those who expressed their sympathies.  I truly appreciate it, more than you will know...

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2017:
Maybe you are emotionally transferring your feelings about the funeral to just feeling fat....as i way to cope? this is what i used to do all the time...do you know what i mean? you know - especially if the scale is on your side!

yes, i am quite positive the pain is a result of the past experiences. it doesn't have to be this way again for you. you can rise above this...but try to get out at a rest stop at least halfway on the way home....or even two stops. you'll feel a lot better because of it, hopefully there will be others in your car with you for company on the drive. I prefer it like this for longer drives myself.

Just do your best J Donk, that's all you can ask of yourself.

Yes, when all settles back, you'll be able to concentrate on hopefully a new challenge for yourself (or even continuing the weights! haha!)...keep up the good work.

I'm glad i can support you here and glad to have you on my side as well. It's nice to have support of wonderful women with big hearts such as yourself. Take care and stay strong.

I have my grandma's funeral today. I want to stand up there and speak to everyone without the crying because i want my words about her to come out well and understandable...and strong. Grandma deserves it! I am thankful that she's in a BETTER place right now than she was before. She is a peace and that is majorly important to both her, me, and my father and my family.

Take care! Do well.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2017:
...it was Friday for you - i hope the drive went ok - remember you can do most anything! xoxo

Donkey on 07/09/2017:
No, the drives are this coming up Thursday and Friday. Yes, I can do this! (right?)



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