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Donkey - Saturday Nov 18, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

Gained another half pound!!! I've gained 3.5 pounds this month!!! What the heck???

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

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Donkey - Friday Nov 17, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Feeling some anxiety before weigh-in day.  I hold no high hopes at a favorable weigh in this week.

The cat is still struggling with using her box, even though tonight will be 72 hours of taking an antibiotic.  I went to the store to buy the training "pee pads" that they use for puppies.  These things are WONDERFUL for my kitty's problem.  They are so absorbant of wetness and odor.  If this is our future, I can live with this.  My boss generously donated all of his used newspapers for this cause, once I mentioned to him that we were having a problem.  He likes cats too.

With everything going on, I thought that this cat thing would surely push me over the edge of sanity.  No, I wouldn't go insane, but just that kind of sadness where you start crying at odd times because it all gets too overwhelming.  I thought about making a list of all of the things that are totally stressing me out -- just for myself.  I wouldn't publish it anywhere, but keep it folded up in a pocket or a drawer.  I wouldn't use it to beat myself up with either, but rather, as a way to physically "put aside" my worries.

Up this weekend:

Saturday:  weigh in, legal clinic in the morning, grocery shopping in the afternoon, laundry in the evening, packing.

Sunday:  morning exercise, finish packing, leave for the airport at around 1:30p to fly out to Vegas for the week.  I've decided to give myself permission to leave the Fitbit at home.  I would not be going if my step-father wasn't coming to his end.  He's home now with hospice care.  I'm hoping he can hold on until my son and I get there.  (Husband and daughter staying behind.)  What an odd holiday this will be. Oh well, at least it will be warmer in Vegas than it is in Chicago...  And I will have the chance to rest and catch up with family.

I'll be gone Sunday through Friday.  Back just in time for another weigh-in on Saturday!! 

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/17/2017:
So the cat will use the pee pad but not the litter box? huh.....that's interesting. Sad about your step Father, My Dad was on hospice as well as my father in law. They are good and help make it easier on everyone, but it is still very hard. Have a relaxing trip as much as it can be, I'm glad to hear you are leaving the fitbit at home.


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Donkey - Wednesday Nov 15, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

The cat has a UTI... $305 to treat, and they want her to come back in to retest her urine in 10 days.  My husband, who is a "half full" kind of guy says, "Well, at least it's something treatable."  I guess...  Medicine squirted down the throat 2x a day. 

Cats have sharp teeth in back.  Did you know that? 

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/15/2017:
At least you got an answer....but wow.....bills, teeth, meds.......and cats can be real jerks....loveable jerks...but jerks none the less. Hope those 10 days fly by for all of you.


horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2017:
That's quite the expense. Dayum! So much money. Def cannot get a dog on my end....way too much $$$$$.

I'll settle with a guinea pig down the road, they like to cuddle and that's what i like too!

Anyways, i do hope your kitty gets well soon.


horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2017:
Is your kitty old, is that why? I hope this is the last kitty expense for a long time!!!!!!!


bearcountrygg on 11/16/2017:
Cats get utis pretty easily unfortunately...then the vets want you to buy expensive food from them.....UGH


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Donkey - Monday Nov 13, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Thought I'd follow up with my own little update:

Kitty is still not using her box, so she has a vet appointment tomorrow afternoon, to rule out a UTI.  This  is money I don't have to spend freely on a cat, until we figure out what's going on with my husband's pension/disability stuff.  This Friday is the last of his paychecks from work, I'm sure.  Then we will start dipping into savings.  Dave Ramsey advised well on this one; we are prepared.

Also, spoke to my boss about our psychotic client.  He said I should have called 911. 

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I am taking my husband to Milwaukee for his VA medical evaluation.  He said he is nervous. I'm nervous for him.

I am eating more this week, so I have no high hopes for Saturday's weigh-in.  (Yes, I'm saying this on Monday.)  This really bothers me, but I'm going to give it up to God and trust the biological process.  Like Horn, I'm at the point where I need to find another focus.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/14/2017:
I agree....then kitty must either be sick or protesting something.....I hated taking our cat to the vet...her hair would fall out in my hands every time they made me put her on the scales...she was scared to death...silly cat...the scales were the easiest part...I'm praying that you get the answers you need about your husband...and Dave Ramsey is awesome...good for you...preparing financially for the future. Don't worry about dieting...you are under too much stress to add that to the mix...Thinking of you and your family.....health problems are so stressful.


horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
i wrote back to you on your comments for yesterday and today....I will write more to you for today here later :) THANK YOU. xo.


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Donkey - Sunday Nov 12, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

Today is cold, cloudy, and wet.  May see some snow today...

I will be cleaning litter boxes and setting them up again, so that "somebody" doesn't feel the need to protest by refusing to use any of the 4 boxes available to her.  Needless to say, having one of the cats turn psychotic on me this past week has NOT done me ANY favors with respect to my stress levels.  

My husband has some medical evaluation appointment in Milwaukee on Tuesday for the VA.  I would like NOT to take him, as this is the last week at work before I'm out for a week, and there is a LOT of work to keep up with.  On the other hand, if I don't take him, then my son will have to, and I hate to place that burden on my son.  Yes, son has the whole day off, but he had stuff planned.  And this appointment will take the whole day.  

My husband's illness is so selfish and demanding of EVERYONE in the family.

I've come to some kind of reconciliation on the 3.5 pound weight gain this week.  Not happy about it, but maybe this is what I was meant to go into the Thanksgiving holiday with.  My week with my brother/family will be a rest week; as of right now, I am planning to leave my Fitbit at home.  Any thoughts on that?

 

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/12/2017:
Sometime we just have to listen to what our subconscious mind is telling us....you sound stressed to the max...I didn't know your husband wasn't well...one sick person affects everyone in the house for sure. I say leave the fitbit at home and relax and enjoy yourself when you are with your brother.


bearcountrygg on 11/12/2017:
I responded to your kitty statement under my diary. :)


horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
don't put too much stress on your weight gain - and i am sorry about your hubby.

stay positive and keep doing what you can do. worry less about what you cannot.


horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
i also wrote on your last entry. i am struggling myself.


horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
sorry for the weird comments today....i am just glad to go home and rest - for the rest of this week!

happy to not have to run again, for as long as i don't want to - taking a major break....sometimes that's what a body needs.

have a good week, you can do it, Donkey. I think it's wonderful how well you do - providing for yourself, your family, your husband. You are remarkable.


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Donkey - Saturday Nov 11, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.0

I responded to comments on my last entry, although, with this week's weigh-in, I'm not sure that matters any more...

I knew that this would be a heavier weigh-in this week -- could feel it physically.  I was able to maintain my level of physical activity, for the most part, and kept to the low-carb plan, too.  I know some of this is hormones (gotta love PMS -- so painful), too, although I'm not letting that be an excuse.  I will continue to do what I'm doing, and let my body settle where it may, within reason.

Work has just gotten completely insane.  After last week of being abused (or feeling that way, at least) by lenders and clients, this week was just complete Twilight Zone, ending with a shouting match between myself and a client who came in just to argue with me.  I told her, "You have the advice from YOUR ATTORNEY (not me) and the title company; I will not argue with you on this topic any more."  The associate attorney was in a consultation downstairs and he came up because he was worried that he would have to physically intervene.  OMG can you believe this???  

Of course, my boss managed to skip out at 4pm so he didn't have to put up with any of this ****.  I'm seriously thinking about becoming "conceal and carry".  This is just getting way too dangerous.

Progress as of today: 56.5 lbs lost so far, only -6.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/11/2017:
My Husband has a CC...and it goes everywhere with him...including the yard.....of course it stays locked in the car in places where it isn't allowed...it's a definate option the way this country is going.


bearcountrygg on 11/11/2017:
Hubby used to tuck his shirts in...ever since he is packing that thing all of his shirts are untucked all of the time.....

Donkey on 11/12/2017:
I should have no problem, then, as I seldom tuck in my shirts but rather have a sweater/cardigan over whatever shirt I am wearing.

Seriously though, my family is telling me to bring this up to my boss.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
leave the work nonsense at work....what i mean is try to take this all with a grain of salt and not to dread it while you are home....keep rolling with the punches and you'll continue to keep getting paid...by keeping the job.

try not to let anyone rustle your feathers. if someone screams / shouts, try not to also do it....

xoxo


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Donkey - Sunday Nov 05, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

I feel a lot better about my journey today. I read an article about a research study done with contestants from The Biggest Loser. They found that for weight-loss, diet (calorie intake) was the biggest factor determining success. For maintenance, though, the contestants that managed to increase their activity level considerable and consistently had the best results in keeping the weight off.

I came to a point yesterday where I realized that I'm going to need help in getting the house Fixed and clean enough to list.

So today, instead of being the only one here killing herself to work on the house, I am taking time out for myself. Got 2 new library books and checked out a movie to watch this afternoon.

And so help me, this week had better be nicer to me. Taking Thursday off so that I can drive my husband to a bunch of medical appointments.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/05/2017:
I went through that house selling prep 7 years ago.....and then the daily keeping it up for every showing...it's tough....but one nice thing about it...once it's done..a daily quick clean is fast and relatively easy. For a couple of years I sold real estate.....the best hint I have ever heard of is to depersonalize the house...take down family pictures...it makes it easier for lookers to imagine themselves living there. I will say one thing...when our houses were forsale..it was the cleanest and neatest they had ever been...LOL

Donkey on 11/06/2017:
True about the house being the cleanest just to get it sold - funny and yet sad at the same time. I definitely will be depersonalizing. Decluttering too -- online pictures look best with not a lot of stuff.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2017:
J Donk: you are NOT very bad at maintenance. However, this is the first time you want to make it work for YOU!

Listen, I was always horrible at maintaining also. I have lost weight 2-3 times in my life (i say 2-3 because it was 2, but then i additionally lost the last 10 which took me over a year that second time, and it took like a whole year to lose the last 10, so i can really consider that last loss a third loss even though it wasn't because i gained again.!).

In my life, just like you, i have had ups and downs in weight loss. and it SUCKS. but it was my choice. I chose to indulge and not take on maintenance.

maintenance is DIFFERENT.

The scale isn't going to keep saying "congratualations, you are losing!" NO. it's going to say if you are up or down a lb or 1/2 pound each time you step on it. You have to take that info, think about what choices you are making, think about how to make this maintenance easier.

You have to eat in a way (and YES, eating is the biggest part of maintenance ALONG WITH KEEPING STRENGTH SO YOU CAN BURN MANY CALORIES THE MORE MUSCLE YOU HAVE!)...but yes, your diet needs to work for you so you can maintain easily and also have treats here and there.

my trick to maintenance is veggies...of which i don't eat as many of as i used to. partially bc i have gotten better at maintenance and like the taste of including more carbs, but still only moderate amounts! and still not really the high carb noodles, pastas = no. or if i do, it's a small amount pasta, large amount veggies, moderate or small amount meat.

my trick is veggies, i eat more of that still (usually, sometimes not) than grains and meat. but i eat it all. i eat some fat, lots of peanut butter bc i don't always crave any other kind of breakfast. although i might switch to another nut butter bc i am finally getting bored LOL.

anyways, you have to now find the tricks. YES TRICKS. or if you don't like that word, 'tricks,' think of it as the formula or the solution. Maintenance is NEW and different from weight loss.

The scale will not reward you.

You have to learn how to feel that this maintenance you are doing is worth it. Because you love yourself.

You have to hold onto this pattern, the one of loss...turning to maintenance.

do not allow yourself to fall again, like we have (me too) in the past. do not make that same decision to spiral backwards.

You know how to spiral. and it doesn't make you feel good - the gaining again, the feelings of sadness.

J donk, you can do this. It's hard. It's a challenge. But all because this is a new step in your journey, you have to take a stand and be strong. approach it. take it. with maintenance, my last time i've been maintaining for 1.5 years now, i think. ever since my sister's wedding. yes.

anyways, with my last maintainance period, i did gain some pounds after her wedding (like 5 or less), and i realized that in order to keep in maintenance, i would really have to change my ways / keep my ways of what i was doing to keep the low weight.

it's a struggle, but NOT all the time. As you maintain, it'll get easier. you'll learn to give into some cravings, you'll be able to have the one cookie (i generally eat them by themselves between meals as a pre-exercise treat with 2 cups of sweetened water (with stevia) when i'm driving home from work lol, it works).

Maintenance is different. You do not gain tons of weight and have to lose it all.

You will learn to actually be able to go each week maintaining after a while. Your weight should start to be stable, bc you know how to eat to maintain. You know when you've indulged, and the scale will show it after a couple weeks you'll know, and that's when you have to dial it back or eat more vegetables the following week and less of all the other stuff.

maintenance will help you ... but you have to help yourself and notice what works and what doesn't. listen to your body. nothing is off limits.

After being in maintainence for this period, i am a lower weight and able to eat EVERYTHING in moderation.

my diet is more balanced now than it ever was before, even when i was heavier and bingeing on sweets.

Maintenance has helped me.

I know my clothes fit each morning. I don't ever think about feeling fat.

Maintenance is a good thing. you learn to feel your body at thsi weight. Soon, looking in the mirror, you won't judge yourself...you'll see it's you.

Maintenance is when you get used to yourself at this weight. It can take many months. It can take a year.

Don't give up on yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm reading one of the best books i've ever read, it's about just this...i'll give you the title if you are interested. It's about what we deal with...life's up and down spirals...and how to stop the periods of highs and lows....and make more success lasting and less of the falls.

Donkey on 11/06/2017:
So you think it's OK that I'm 10 pounds under goal weight? I was worried that I was headed towards troubled waters again... Now I'm thinking I worry too much.


horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2017:
These comments are all really for your entry yesterday, i still need to read today's ..this one i mean!

but you are doing fine. always think the positive for yourself.

always know that your actions everyday are more important than a one time goal.

what you do everyday is what will help you maintain. you do it day by day. it's a process.

learn to enjoy this new process. the SMALL ups and downs...and you will therefore not have BIG ups and downs.


Maria7 on 11/06/2017:
Yes, cals add up quickly...

Donkey on 11/06/2017:
They do indeed. My problem is that I'm still losing! I don't know how to stop. I don't know if I want to stop.


Maria7 on 11/08/2017:
Hope you have a good day.



Donkey - Saturday Nov 04, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 126.5

 I'm very bad at maintaining...  This is making me sad.

Progress as of today: 60 lbs lost so far, only -10 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/04/2017:
Maintaining is harder than losing...it's easy to forget when you are maintaining.....don't be hard on yourself...we all have that problem at one time or another.


Maria7 on 11/04/2017:
I agree with Bear...Maintaining is definitely harder than losing...It is took easy to 'relax' when we get to goalweight...been there, done that 3 or 4 times.



Donkey - Thursday Nov 02, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

A new approach for this month (and perhaps for the winter months ahead) to help me deal with the winter weather and the darker days ahead:

Last night, at dinner, I refrained from having second helpings, unfortunately because my husband had stormed off rather than eat with us as a family.  I had a taco (on a lo-carb tortilla) and then a tomato/cucumber side sald.  Instead of eating more, to prolong the dinner hour, I drank more water.  Then, after dinner, I suddenly felt very tired.  Instead of pushing myself to go on an evening walk or fighting my fatigue with food, I decided to get ready for bed and relax before going to sleep.  I usually read before bed, but decided to watch a documentary on public television instead.  Then I went to sleep - EARLY.

It was still difficult to get my butt out of bed this morning, despite more sleep, but I think this is the way to go.  Note:  Sometimes, when I feel tired, I don't handle that feeling correctly and eat, instead of rest or drink water.  I confuse both thirst and fatigue with hunger.  So if I'm thirsty or tired, I'll eat instead of dealing with the actual issue correctly.  Going to work this month on changing that.

So the plan:

  • Lighter dinners
  • Lighter evening exercise - if any - limited to a 20 minute walk around my neighborhood (and giving permission to myself to skip this).
  • Get ready for bed earlier, relax/read, and get more sleep.

The week I go to Nevada to visit my relatives for Thanksgiving is exempt because it's warmer and lighter out there.  Plus I want to use every waking moment to visit with family!

Thoughts on this approach?

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/02/2017:
I'm a firm believer in changing things up when you don't like them the way they are.....that is always the way to correct a plateau or a desire to quit......Happy counts for so much!


Horn_of_plenty on 11/03/2017:
Yes, i agree with your approach.

Like you, I have gotten better, but, i also have the problem of when feeling tired thinking i am hungry and/or getting VERY snacky and craving carbs. I used to really limit my sleep and especially in college and stuff and in my 20's and i was always battling the carb addiction and stuff and i do believe it had to do with sleep. I'm always able to better deal with cravings and eat way normal portions when my sleep is good.

for the first time ever, my sleep is very decent this year. eating has been easiest this year.

when my sleep is really rotten, it's hard to do things, yes. and your mind will want more food oh yes.

so i like your approach for sleep. when it's cold and dark, we will want more sleep. Sleep is underrated and you may need MORE than you think. It's true to listen to your body when you are tired. Like you, same thing happened with me last night.

Yesterday when i woke up in the morning,i already knew i wasn't ready to go to the gym yet after after work for thursday bc i could tell my body wasn't rested enough and an early sleep would be better than a powerful workout. So just like you mention that you are giving yourself options to skip exercise if you really need sleep, i did the same.

tonight i'll push just so i get it done and can therefore go again sunday. but this week i skipped both jogs bc it was a very busy week and already included more walking and i didn't want to include everything which would just exhaust me.

you do have to make good choices as suitable for everything in your life that's going on. I support you.

Like i was saying, there are many studies that more than 8 hours is sometimes helpful. Not every night, but if you body is wanting sleep, sleep.



Donkey - Tuesday Oct 31, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 128.5

I've really been struggling this week... Not sure what to do, but I know I can find support here.

Start with the mint brownies I made this past weekend.  I have not been able to resist these as well as I was able to resist the previous batch of brownies I made several weeks ago. 

The cold weather is really packing a punch this year.  I do not know how on earth I will cope once we turn the clocks back this weekend and living becomes encased in darkness.  Get up - it's dark. Exercise - it's dark.  Leave for work - still dark, just starting to get light. Get off of work - it's dark.  Drive home - it's dark.  Eat dinner - it's dark.  Go for a walk - it's dark. 

Plus, my lunchtime walks will be coming to an end soon once the snow/ice hits.

Now I'm stuck with all this d*mn Halloween candy:  Snickers, M&M's, Starburst (can pass on this), Skittles (pass)...  

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a new month.  I'm going to use this "new beginning" as a jump-start to my motivation as well.  I CAN DO THIS.

Progress as of today: 58 lbs lost so far, only -8 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 10/31/2017:
Yes you can!!!!!!

Donkey on 11/02/2017:
Thanks!


horn_of_plenty on 11/01/2017:
Hi J! Yes, you can find support here bc that’s what we do! :--)

With the brownies, if you don’t want them at all, bring them to work to share with office. Otherwise, throw out after a few days. Or, get used to having them around and after always eating them, you’ll get used to having them around and want them less. This is at least what happens for me. Remember that NOTHING is off-limits and all foods are ok in moderation.

Work treats / brownies into your diet plan if you want. Like, have one before you walk, a small piece, with an herbal tea to fill your stomach up the rest of the way. I always eat treats, followed up with a sweet liquid I usually use a lot of stevia and sometimes equal. I eat a serving of the treat (like a granola bar or fiber one cookie) and have the drink which is usually around 2 cups. Then, I feel satisfied.

I also hate the time change that comes with Daylight Savings Time Ending. But you WILL COPE because you have NO CHOICE but to cope. So don’t get all nervous about it – because you’ll fall back into the time change like you did all the other years of your life, my pretty J !

If you really don’t want the candy, bring it to work, give it away, or throw it out. In my apartment, they gave me a ton last night because they still had a lot at 7pm when I got home, I will save the candy bc I am better at moderation now than I ever was. I am good with taking a normal amount and having a drink of 2 cups at most and then feeling satisfied without needing more candy or getting tempted anymore by more.

Of course you can do it. Why be “average” when you can be super? It’s all a mind game!

Donkey on 11/02/2017:
I have a new plan to help me cope with the time change. I'll say more in my next entry!


innerpeace on 11/01/2017:
I agree, take that crap to work. I brought a 3/4 full bag of candy because I can't keep my hands out of it - it is almost gone up here at work, because people will stampede the breakroom for free stuff.

Donkey on 11/02/2017:
Thank you - your support and comments mean a lot to me. Right now, the candy is out of sight, so... I might be OK with it. The brownies are GONE, thank goodness. That was the hardest thing.



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