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Donkey - Wednesday Sep 08, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 153.0

Yep, I gained a pound, but I am not at all discouraged.  In fact, I am almost glad that I gave myself a week to slack off a bit and indulge my hormones --- and stress eating tendancies too, I'm afraid :-(  THAT I'm not too happy about but oh well.

My downfall this week was clearly the overindulgence of cheese baked crackers.  Definitely comfort food, but not binge eating by any means.  Just overdid it.

Plus it is TOM soon, so I can really feel the bloat.  It may be more psychological than anything -- can you feel 2 lbs? -- but I am ready to make better choices for myself this week. 

Progress as of today: 15 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

V on 09/08/2010:
Well for some psychological but for Most when TOM is here 2-4 lb weight gain is not out of the ordinary, keep in mind that is only a temporary thing!

moogy on 09/08/2010:
It is no wonder men lose weight quicker than us, more muscle mass and no fluctuating hormones!! Hang in there it will all level out in time for the next time round.:)

Maria7 on 09/11/2010:
Hope you're having a nice day today. :-)

moogy on 09/14/2010:
I am just stopping by because you haven't been around for a while. I hope you are doing OK. I miss your posts and comments.

Donkey - Monday Sep 06, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 152.0

Anticipating a TERRIBLE weigh-in this week.  TOM must be coming soon because I have been really irritated by my husband's lack of anything other than sitting in front of his computer.  And then today, I am feeling despair and sadness.  So this sounds cyclical, and i know that if I can just hang in there, it will pass...

Unfortunately, I have been indulging in crackers quite a bit this week.  That plus any water weight from the salt and carbs or water weight from PMS/TOM -- none of this bodes well.

Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!

willbe110lbs on 09/06/2010:
I hope things get better for your soon, sounds like you're having a pretty stressful time at the moment. Try not to dread a weigh in, if it wont make you feel better, maybe leave it until next week? xx

moogy on 09/06/2010:
Thank you for your supportive comments. I think it helps to know that other people understand how you are feeling and that you are not alone. Hopefully in a few days you will be feeling better. I hope so anyway:)

V on 09/06/2010:
Chin up Donkey! I am sorry you are not having a stellar day :( I hope you will feel better 2morrow :)

Donkey - Wednesday Sep 01, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 152.0

Up half a pound, but I attribute that to PMS and humidity.  Keeping a clear perspective on things, a half a pound is really not a change and just a fact of maintenance.

I am not maintaining at the moment -- still trying to lose the weight I gained over the winter -- but I'm taking a maintenance approach to weight loss this time.  If it's something I can't really do for the rest of my life, I won't use it to lose weight, because I am tired of gaining 20-30lb every time life deals me something bad, because bad things are going to happen; it's part of life.


Progress as of today: 16 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!

KathyBlue on 09/01/2010:
That's a wise thought, girl! I missed you, glad to see you posting. :)

hollybelle on 09/01/2010:
Amen, sister!

moogy on 09/01/2010:
Hey, if you maintain and sometimes lose a bit, in the end you will reach your goal, plus, it's not too far away now. Come next summer and we may have a goalweight Donkey.:)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/01/2010:
yeah, do take the maintanance approach :-) gaining and losing is the WORST. i can attest to that, too!

V on 09/01/2010:
I hear you on that!!!! This WILL be the last time for me! I am determined to keep it off! You can too Donkey

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/03/2010:
no, i definitely DON'T weigh everyday. it would drive me crazy. i'd rather not weigh in at all, lol. but once in awhile, i will go down to the basement and step on the scale(s). haha, we have two old scales that work well. i have a digital once, but i figure these do the trick right now!

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 25, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 151.5

I thought this deserved its own post:

I am at the halfway mark to goal!!! 

Actually, I'm a little past it, by 1/4 a pound, but in essence it's halfway...

Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!

skinnygrlwithin on 08/25/2010:
WWWWOOOHOO!!!!! And thank you for the kind words earlier... I think everything will work out for the best.. it always does

V on 08/25/2010:
Go Donkey! Go Donkey! Go Donkey!

moogy on 08/25/2010:
I am cheering, waving my arms in the air and high fiveing you!!!!!!!!!!! You go girl!!!!

legcramps on 08/25/2010:
LOL, good job Donkey!

biscottibody59 on 08/27/2010:
Good going--keep up the good work!

KathyBlue on 08/28/2010:
Thanks! Halfway mark, really! :) It's very punctual indeed, hehehe... 16,5 gone, 16,5 to go! :)

just42day on 08/28/2010:
That's fabulous! Congratulations! You're in the home stretch. Keep going and enjoy!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2010:
that's awesome! I guess going back to school has been really good for you. You are doing something just for yourself, to better yourself, and the weight is coming off, too. good for you, donkey! I hope you had a GREAT bike ride. Mine was OK. it was good, of course, but as of late my leg muscles are tired.....and i hate skipping days...and usually i don't. if i get in weights, then i may skip cardio....

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2010:
You are doing GREAT!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2010:
....you will soon be in the 140s! how exciting!!!!

biscottibody59 on 08/31/2010:
Excellent--you're doing great!

I'll look out for the 80% bar you mentioned--hope you're having a good week!

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 25, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 151.5

As promised, I am entering in my weigh-in.  Having an upset stomach from anxiety really helps with weight loss.  Too bad it feels so awful.

The lesson to be learned is that it really is about what goes into your mouth.  With only 254 cardio minutes this week, I think this proves my point.  (Took a day off from walking one day.)

I decided yesterday to start taking an acid blocker for my stomach problems. It says to take before eating, though, so I waited until this morning to start.  The box says may take 1-4 days but some people feel relief within 24 hours. I predict that I will feel better tomorrow.

I was feeling better last night, actually. Psychologically, I'm sure -- once I knew the problem would be taken care of, I relaxed enough.  But this morning it's all started again.  I don't know if it's because I know most of the day will be spent reading and studying for my classes or if it's because the kids are starting their first days of school and that I'm nervous FOR/WITH them, or what.

Normally, I would think about taking an anti-anxiety medicine, but mostly, these are tranquilizers and even with the slightest dosage, I get sleepy.  (I used to take anti anxiety meds and anti depressants when I was in my 20s.  Neither helped with my problems, which is why I don't take them today.)

So for now, I will see if the anti-acids help.  Have a wonderful day everyone!

Progress as of today: 16.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!

loveray on 08/25/2010:
have a beautiful day, Donkey!

liza36 on 08/25/2010:
I hope the acid blocker works for you. I took Prilosec for awhile, and it really worked. Have a great day!

KathyBlue on 08/25/2010:
Hey, great weight loss! Try to do something natural, try to understand what foods help you to ease the pain and what kind of foods trigger it - it helped for me!

Umpqua on 08/25/2010:
Amazing job with the weight loss! I have had success with St. John's Wort capsules and tea for anxiety. I hope you have a great day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/25/2010:
3 pounds, man! good stuff. please be safe and careful. i hope you stomach feels better. and good luck to your kiddies at school! :-)

Donkey - Tuesday Aug 24, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 154.0

I am sorry I have not been on here this recently.  School has started for me this week and it has been extremely stressful.

On the plus side (if you can call it that), all that stress has made me sick to my stomach.  My stomach produces too much acid when I get really anxious, and all that acid makes me feel very nauseous.  So I have not been stress eating, at least.

In addition to all of this stress, my children are starting school tomorrow (Wednesday).  This is always stressful, especially for my son, I think, but maybe for my daughter too.  I think this year may be the hardest yet for my daughter.  I have heard that the 5th grade (10 yr old) is BIG on the **drama** for girls.  Her class seems to be ripe for the picking for dramatic candidates. 

Tomorrow is weigh-in day, so I promise to log in with that, at least.  That's the good thing about having a dedicated weigh-in day --- keeps me honest!

Anyway, I have been trying to drop in and read people's diaries but I don't always have time to log in and reply.  Having been a SAHM for many years and not out and about with a lot of people, it's been really really REALLY hard to get back into a thinking mode, a social mode, a deadline mode -- everything.

I hope to buy some anti-acids tonight.

Progress as of today: 14 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

moogy on 08/24/2010:
So much pressure is placed on our school children these days, it's a shame. There is always a silver lining isn't there - you feel sick but you haven't been eating. Good luck with your weigh in day tomorrow, I am wishing you luck.

Sofia on 08/24/2010:
5th grade is certainly when hormones start acting up. Hope you feel better soon, and good luck tomorrow!

just42day on 08/24/2010:
Hope your stomach has settled a bit. Sounds like a very active household you have there. I hope all goes well for the kids' return to school, too! :)

V on 08/24/2010:
OmG I hate that bubbly feeling in your tummy :( Along with the anti acid maybe some warm diet ginger ale might settle it. Have a great day at school tomorrow

thinnside40 on 08/25/2010:
Ugh~ I have a 5th grader daughter too... They are moving them to Middle School this year in our district.... Oh for joy...NOT!!!!!!

KathyBlue on 08/25/2010:
that stomach problem is really bad. I have already been in the same shoes but now it's being OK, since dieting...

Donkey - Wednesday Aug 18, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 154.0

Not much to say, just putting in my weigh-in for this week.  And still taking it one day at a time.

School starts next week for myself and the kids (I start before they do, LOL), so the remainder of this week will probably be focused around getting everyone set up.

Progress as of today: 14 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 08/18/2010:
Congratulations to you on your new lower weight of 154.0, down -1.5....yayyy! You're doing good! :-)

legcramps on 08/18/2010:
Good job!

moogy on 08/18/2010:
Well done on a good weight loss. Have a successful day donkey.

Maria7 on 08/21/2010:
Thank you very much! I hope so, too! :-D

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/21/2010:
i'm just completely unable as of late to do any work in my house without eating, also.

skinnygrlwithin on 08/23/2010:
I appreciate your advice...and I do understand, some relationships are just over when they are over.. but I'm not always like that and my bf is like you... so I don't know what to do... obviously people are different, obviously people are entitled to their own opinions and what they are willing and capable of dealing with...which is what is our biggest problem is in this relationship because we are different with this situation... it's just a matter of how do you solve that... come to a solution... especially when I feel like i've compromised but he's not willing to... but enough of my yapping ... we are at the moment to the best of my knowledge taking a break for the week and will reassess the relationship and what we are willing to give up and what we are not to keep this going...

thinnside40 on 08/23/2010:
:o) Good Job! (o:

Donkey - Sunday Aug 15, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.5

I want to thank those who read my last diary entry -- and especially those who responded.  Thank you hollybelle for the serenity prayer.

What I should have done is cut and pasted Horn of Plenty's diary entry right here, because that is exactly how I feel, except that I know that I have real constraints that hold me back.  So in some respects -- well, many actually -- the comparison is unfair.

I guess the point that was missed is that from time to time, I simply CANNOT ACCEPT unchangeable things in my life.  I can't.  It's beyond me.  I'm not capable of it.  This non-acceptance is always there.  Even when it seems as though I'm making progress or being a "happy person" --- no, this is always there.  It doesn't go away. 

So, dear people, I ask you, humbly, to forgive me when these feelings errupt, as they do often.  It's very hard being in the same body with someone you detest.

Progress as of today: 12.5 lbs lost so far, only 20.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/16/2010:
Oh man, what the f--k is wrong with us?

I think we BOTH do a great job looking at the misfortunes, the bad parts of our lives. We both need to open our eyes and focus on what's good. For me, getting a job would solve almost ALL of my problems. This is the one area that could fix MOST everything for the most part right now.

My whole feelings of worthlessness are from a lack of job. Of course, I need to work on other things, but if i had a job I could soon move out and become the independent person i want to be. funny how this one thing could change my life.

we do have different lives, but it's understandable that we could both be feeling the same way.

I think about death and dying OFTEN. I don't give too much thought to "how i would kill myself" because I really am TOO afraid right now. Also, I wouldn't want people going through all my belongings...sounds kinda dumb but that's just how i feel. I wouldn't want this computer even looked through.

I wouldn't even want a funeral aside from my immediate family. there's something wrong with all of this, i know.

hopefully i can get a job and move on out of this mess.

legcramps on 08/16/2010:
Hard to respond to this; I can quite literally FEEL your frustration towards yourself. Often, we tend to try to solve other people's problem without really understanding what those issues actually are. So I won't try, because I couldn't possibly know what you're going through. But i'm here. You know. We're all here. That's all.

Moody3 on 08/16/2010:
I don't know what it is in your life that you feel you cannot accept~It hurts my heart to hear the pain in your words~I wish there was something I could do to help~We may have never met, but I truly care and want you to be ok~

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/16/2010:
I send encouragment and know I'm hoping you are feeling a bit better today. :-)

just42day on 08/16/2010:
I read your comment to V. I know where Crystal Lake is!!!! I live in Palatine. We're darn near neighbors. :)

biscottibody59 on 08/17/2010:
RYC: Sure enough--I'm just starting, but if I have any minor or major revelations I'll let you know.

Donkey - Saturday Aug 14, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.5

I'm here today because I'm very upset and there's no one I can talk to about my feelings.

I don't want to get into specifics but just sometimes, it's very hard to live with oneself and the unchangeable circumstances.  Some things cannot be changed.  Yet I cannot live with this.  Nor can I accept it.

Thank you for listening.

Progress as of today: 12.5 lbs lost so far, only 20.5 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 08/14/2010:
The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

hollybelle on 08/14/2010:
I really love the second verse of that prayer in particular. God Bless you!

tangalyn on 08/14/2010:
hmmm i bet whatever is wrong, id understand... if u wanna talk at all, let me know, i hope u feel better.. *big hugs*

Moody3 on 08/14/2010:
Sorry you are struggling Donkey~I will keep you in my prayers~God bless

Maria7 on 08/14/2010:
You don't have to say what it is that is bothering you right now. We are here and WE CARE about you. I really LOVE the serenity prayer Hollybelle listed above...how many times have I recited it over and over and over...it comes down to casting your cares on the Lord because He cares for you. I think that we each have things we are dealing with on a daily basis...elsewise, why are we even here??? It's not about the food, really. It's about haven gained weight as we used food to try to console ourselves. ....I just now prayed for you.

moogy on 08/14/2010:
Patience is a hard lesson to learn, it sometimes takes years. Some situations are not under our control have to be lived with but sometimes things change either through our own actions or others. I hope thinks work out in your favour.

V on 08/14/2010:
I hope that your spirits will be lifted soon :) Take care of yourself!

V on 08/14/2010:
I am curious as to how far from the city you live??? If possible I would love for you to come to my party Tuesday 17th all the info is on my post :)

Donkey - Friday Aug 13, 2010
(Calorie Counting & Exercise)
Weight: 155.5

Here I am, craving salt....

Last night -- OMGosh I wanted to eat so badly.  I think a lot of it was genuine hunger because I would have been satisfied with carrot sticks.  But I knew, too, that some of it was fatigue and stress.  I managed to resist, but it was very difficult.

This was after returning from our old house, which we have been trying to sell for over a year.  And for 5 years, off and on, before we finally just said, "Forget it, let's move and hope it sells."  It never did sell.

Anyway, dh and I went up there and I mowed the whole lawn.  At 7pm, the bank therometer - as you drive into town - said 92F (33C).  At 7pm.  And I'm out there mowing a big butt yard. It took me at least an hour. And when I went to bed last night, I could feel the ache in my legs. 

It took me so long to mow the lawn that my daughter called us up on the way home, worried that something happened or we went someplace else.  My husband said, "Well, sweetie, it's a big yard."

That was the only cardio I got in yesterday, because it was so freakin' hot.  And it's just as well because for dinner, we had pizza.  And I had too much of it.  I realized that if one is having salt cravings, pizza is probably not the best thing to have for dinner.

Still, I think between the hunger and the cravings and the lawn mowing, I broke even.

I just need the d*mn house to sell.

Progress as of today: 12.5 lbs lost so far, only 20.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/13/2010:
i'll keep your house in my thoughts! LOL...and i hope it does sell for you!!

your advice is good, actually...it is not really the time for me to lose weight by focussing my energies on it. i have too much time at home, no schedule. definitely not the best circumstances for someone like me to do so. i am usually best when i have lots of free time, but not if it also involves pressures like job hunting. i'm so glad the test is done, and i will SLOWLY incorporate better eating into my diet, but i really shouldn't be putting all types of restrictions or plans for weightloss as my first choice endeavor right now. :-)

So, cheers to moderation?...

loveray on 08/13/2010:
i hope you have an awesome weekend despite the stressful circumstances. sending lots of love your way!!

Maria7 on 08/13/2010:
I'm glad you're okay after mowing in that heat. :-)

moogy on 08/13/2010:
I bet you did break even, that sounds like hard work. I only mowed the lawn once, my husband was so suprised when he drove home he drove into the garage doors. LOL

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