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Donkey - Sunday Jul 23, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

Slept in for an additional hour because my morning news program was pre-empted by golf.  I was sweating after my bike ride -- must be the humidity - but I wanted to REALLY sweat like those people who take selfies in my Fitbit groups, so I went for a walk -- which I really wanted to be a run, but that didn't work out that way...

Humid and sunny made for a very uncomfortable walk - but that's just what I wanted.  I did jog a small stretch that goes through a cornfield. It's a private area, so I felt that I would be OK jogging with my wide-brimmed hat and Smurfy blue shoes.  (Don't know what I'm talking about?  Google Smurf and you'll know.)

I really would like to be a runner, but just can't seem to do it.  I need a long warm-up (walking) for one thing...  Get winded...  Then get discouraged and stop.

My Harry Potter plans have been post-poned because someone ELSE has figured out that all of the large-print Harry Potter books never get checked out.  So I had to place a "hold" on book #4.  Thankfully, I'm not as far along with #3 as I thought, so I should be done with #3 by the time #4 becomes available.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/23/2017:
I know smufy blue...I have a pair of fake crocs in smurfy blue. Never read the Harry Potter books but I ordered all of them from amazon for our Grandsons years ago and they had to take turns with their Mother...she loved them too.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2017:
DONKEY...you CAN be a runner. But you have to start off slow. I was getting winded too...i still do, but not the problem is the strength in my legs. I train for running only 2x a week since i love my dear weights so i do them the other 2x a week days for a total of 4 workouts a week (2 jogging, 2 weights). It works for now and i might even take a couple weeks off the gym in later August or September to take my running a step further.

In order for me to run, I set a standard of mileage. My goal is 2mi each time (of walking / jogging) but if i am feeling weak, i never feel bad about leaving after 1.5 mi which has happened at least 1x in the past month if not 2x. For me, with jogging, less is more in order to combat chances of injury. I am used to pushing my limits lol...and less so on preventing accidents and injuries that occur from training that way....

but one way i did it was by coming up with a mileage distance that i'm happy with and that i've mentally agreed to not go much past for the whole summer.

try that maybe...it's a jog / walk. yes, walk to warm up, then stretch (or at least stretch when you are done with the exercising)...so walk to start (which i didn't do much of today lol i just went into it pretty much straightaway bc i was caffeinated lol)...but anyways, short walk to start, then jog, when you feel winded - just walk again. this is what i do. then when you feel you have recovered decently, go back to jog...one day you'll be jogging. it's a long process.

you prob don't enjoy feeling winded bc you do NOT feel in control. that's what i hate about jogging too...but it's starting to feel better for me, as i get better.

but you do NOT have to be a jogger...it's up to you. it may take awhile. you can do anything you want.

for me, with jogging, it took me LONGER than average to get back into it again. It takes me LONGER than average to get my mileage up. It takes me LONGER to get better than an average person due to my fitness, ability and injury in my past. But it's doable. anything is doable..

I'm proud of you with the weights. Because weight training can change a body. running you lose weight, but weight training gives you a fit look even with extra pounds on a body, weights fix the proportions.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2017:
I also commented on your entry below :)


Maria7 on 07/24/2017:
You sure have done well getting to your goal.



Donkey - Saturday Jul 22, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

Not a good week.  I feel scattered and disorganized, unable to focus -- work, home, husband, family, finances -- all of it.  Kept up with the cardio, not so regular with the weight training, although I was pleased with the abbreviated upper body workout. Did half of the exercises but stepped it up with heavier weights.

Still maintaining, thought that my weigh-in might be a lower number this week, but this is fine.  Actually, it's probably better for me, mentally, not to have a very low number.  I find myself starting to think about food too much... don't want to slip back into disordered habits.

Going to the library to check out the book I held on reserve to heal lower back pain.  This is the author that Horn of Plenty recommended, which I believe discusses the cognitive aspect to (back) pain.  Plus, I'll be checking out Harry Potter #4 in anticipation of finishing HP #3 over the weekend.  My summer reading "project" was to re-read all of the Harry Potter books.  Helps me relax before going to bed at night.

I'm very grateful that we did not have any of the flooding that people very nearby have had from the midwest rains this week.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/22/2017:
There is no shame in maintaining....better than a gain....I too get obsessed with food at times....one thing I have noticed with youtube dieters is their obsession with groceries ( me too)...I am a stockpiler..I can say that back in the day when my weight was right where it was supposed to be...we did not have a house full of food...I shopped as needed. I can honestly say that my food obsession involves shopping and eating.

Donkey on 07/23/2017:
I'm in the midst of emptying out my pantry, as I noticed that not only was it getting too full (i.e. no more room) but also I was buying duplicates and triplicates of items. Madness :-)


BearCountryGG on 07/23/2017:
I do it too...and now that my husbands diet has changed for the rest of his like ....a lot of the stuff we have isn't even something he can have....so I will be using it all up myself....so for our pantry stash I'm not adding anything right now either,


Horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2017:
I am sorry it's been a rough week. It might be to the funeral and the trip from last week...and needing some you-time / relax time from it all.

Just keep on. You are smart on the food element and by noticing your past patterns and not wanting to start with that again. I do the same thing. I am constantly learning more about myself as you are. We all learn continuously.

Good for you on those reading projects. I have a really cute book for you when you get a chance it takes 3-4 short reading sessions to finish because it's VERY short. It's cute and the author, well one of the co-authors, just passed away. He was famous. The book is called "Who Moved My Cheese," by Spencer Johnson and you will NOT be disappointed for reading it. I read it last week, at lunch very briefly it's EXTREMELY short...and i was glad i did. It reinforces why in life things change and why it's important for us to be able to change along with the changes! You'll enjoy it...i gave it to my dad...i hope he reads it...i'm glad he took it before i returned it to my library.

I hope the "healing back pain" works for you. I never read it - let me know how it is....i hope it's not boring?! I only read the other book by that author, which was the first book i EVER read having to do with mental / emotional pain being transfered to physical pain and how to overcome...thank gosh i read it...someone on here told me to ! thank gosh for getting started, learning to overcome. If not for that book, for people here, for my good friends and support in general, i'd never be where i am today. lots of books later & positive thinking and friends, i've made it!

and you are too! I'm glad to hear you did cardio work and you shortened the weights so you could still do some (EXCELLENT THINKING!). It is best to do SOME versus NONE! very much so!

really proud of you, donkey. don't be too hard on yourself. I had a rough week at work, too.

two new coworkers (both around 2-4 months at company), work TONS of overtime....well..i know i cannot. but sometimes i cannot believe the hours they do....i feel like people might think i'm a slacker, but i know better. i used to work twice as many OT hours as them....and that's not my goal these days. i cannot think about it....my goal cannot happen if i do OT bbecause OT kills me and then i do not have the strength, stamina, endurance or sleep (rest) to get my goals in....so...i say to myself that they will NOT be able to do the OT for the long run, and that i'm good where i am at now :-P



Donkey - Saturday Jul 15, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.5

Gained 1.5 pounds -- still in my "goal" range (50lbs lost = weighing in at 136.5), so it should be no problem to get back down under goal (135-ish) now that I am home with easy access to fresh vegetables.

Yes, I can do this!

Progress as of today: 50 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2017:
YES you can do this! I am glad to see you back and back into routine! You rock, Ms. Donkey! Never stop.


happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Yum! Veggies!


thinnside40 on 07/17/2017:
YES, You can!


Maria7 on 07/20/2017:
You've really done well in getting to your goal. Congrats!



Donkey - Friday Jul 14, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

I have returned from downstate Illinois, for the wake and funeral of my father-in-law.  It was harder than I thought it would be.  He was a good man.

Being out of town, at these family events, and with the stress & sadness of the situation, it was incredibly difficult to eat healthy.  I am dreading tomorrow's weigh-in but I do not want to deny any damage that may have been done.

I am proud of myself though for planning ahead to get exercise in.  And I do not think I would have done that if it weren't for my Fitbit.  Gotta meet those daily goals!

So Thursday I woke up at 3am so that I could ride the bike for an hour before leaving.  We took a few stops and I walked and stretched at each one.  This morning, I woke up at 5am and went down to the hotel gym.  Some guy was on the bike - and he ended up being there for a whole hour! - so I did the treadmill for 35 minutes and the eliptical for 30.  On the way home, I walked at every stop except the last one at a gas station that was not in a good area for walking.

I had a small salad and some watermelon for tonight's dinner.  After eating out all day yesterday and then breakfast and lunch today, it would be OK with me if we didn't eat out again for a while.  I don't know how people who eat out every day do it.  My tongue feels burned from too much salt -- and I think I already use quite a bit of salt in my regular diet, so that is saying something.

Oh I almost forgot to add!!!!  On Wednesday, one of my daughter's friends came over and helped move my mom's treadmill from the garage into the house!!!  So all I need now is for 6 bolts to get screwed in, and then I can start using my new used treadmill!

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/15/2017:
Losing parents and other family members is so hard, please accept my condolences on your loss, I cared for my parents for 7 1/2 years until their deaths and I put weight on during that time. You are almost at your goal, congratulations on that and I agree, eating out is problematic.

Donkey on 07/15/2017:
Thank you very much for your kind words (((hugs)))


Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2017:
You know, your entry sounds really wonderful (in spite of the unfortunate circumstances). What I mean is - it sounds very positive and proud - like you know you planned right and because you did you were truly successful in this trip to Illinois.

You sound like you made it thru the emotional events quite well because you were prepared and able to. I commend you .... continue to be proud, hold your head up & stride thru tough situations - continue to do the good things & I'm glad you stopped at most rest stops! Healthy lady!


happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Hugs!



Donkey - Sunday Jul 09, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

After 5 jumbo toasted marshmallows yesterday, I realized that I am sad and trying to self-medicate with sugar.  Now that I know this, I will be able to seek alternatives as I go through another difficult week with the wake and funeral.

Also, this is the week that my own folks move out to Las Vegas.  So while I am not involved with that part, I am worried about them and hope that they arrive OK and are able to set up their new home easily and quickly.  My (step) dad's health is not very good, so it's important that they get out there, set up, and then can relax and enjoy each other for whatever time left Papa has.

I'll be gone for 2 workdays, so I expect to come back to about 100 emails.  I could try to go in on Sunday to just catch up and set myself up for a good Monday, but I might need the time on Sunday just to reset myself, physically and emotionally.

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/09/2017:
Meant to add that I used the energy from the marshmallows for an AWESOME upper body weight training session - YES!

And I have placed a hold at the library for John Sarno's "Healing Back Pain" to help me work through the mind-body connection with my driving issues. I'm hopeful that this will help.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2017:
YES, you can DEFINITELY do the drives. take your time, don't rush, have music. I'm glad your hubby is with you - i always find longer drives easier with someone coming with me.

If my grandma was listening to you and you asked her if you could do the drives, she'll tell you that you can do anything! My grandma always gave everyone the best advice and always was reminding us that we were capable of anything. And you are!!!!

Btw, i was reading about depression and people in general with anxiety (like myself) and one of the things that make people with these things have is the ability to realize the power of certain foods - like sugars - that do in fact lift moods (the seratonin i believe)...so there is truth also to why you had those marshmallows. It's good you stopped though - it's not worth getting fat over - but that's why i don't limit my carbs (good carbs) anymore...i was actually getting depressed eating the other way! but there's so science in carbs and their impact on mood.

ohhh, i'm glad you have a great weight training...i'll be doing that today (after i leave work early to do it because i'm not suddenly skipping out on my love if i have to work and see parents - i'll just do it in between!) i considered i always give my all and i'm allowed to do what i love and need to do to feel good this week - not skip more sessions.

oh, so good job on the session and i am SURE it did help!

I never read Healing Back Pain but did read the Mind-Body Connection which was EXCELLENT.

Take your time reading it - i'm sure it will be GREAT. Reading his other book as well as other authors on being my best, self motivation, and other similar topics has helped me grow a lot as of late (this past year i've been reading those books - maybe even over a year, actually).



Donkey - Saturday Jul 08, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.0

I feel fat today.  Very surprised that the scale was so kind today.

The wake is downstate Illinois on Thursday and the funeral is Friday morning.  6.5 hour drive -- I hope my back can make it.  I thought about what Horn said and I had recently come to a similar "realization" that perhaps my pain is also associated with PTSD from previous driving experiences.  Driving and autos have always been a really touchy/explosive area, emotionally speaking, and I'm wondering if these drives are somehow triggering subconscious memories, thus manifesting in a physical stress reaction resulting in back pain. 

And now another unpleasant experience to associate with long, highway driving.  Great.  Well, I will do my best.

I have no July goals other than to maintain my weight.  Maybe after the funeral, and we're back home, I can think about this.  Maybe I'll think about it during the drive(s) to and from the funeral.  I truly do feel like I'm on the edge of challenging myself in a new way, but just don't know in what way yet.

Thank you to those who expressed their sympathies.  I truly appreciate it, more than you will know...

Progress as of today: 51.5 lbs lost so far, only -1.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2017:
Maybe you are emotionally transferring your feelings about the funeral to just feeling fat....as i way to cope? this is what i used to do all the time...do you know what i mean? you know - especially if the scale is on your side!

yes, i am quite positive the pain is a result of the past experiences. it doesn't have to be this way again for you. you can rise above this...but try to get out at a rest stop at least halfway on the way home....or even two stops. you'll feel a lot better because of it, hopefully there will be others in your car with you for company on the drive. I prefer it like this for longer drives myself.

Just do your best J Donk, that's all you can ask of yourself.

Yes, when all settles back, you'll be able to concentrate on hopefully a new challenge for yourself (or even continuing the weights! haha!)...keep up the good work.

I'm glad i can support you here and glad to have you on my side as well. It's nice to have support of wonderful women with big hearts such as yourself. Take care and stay strong.

I have my grandma's funeral today. I want to stand up there and speak to everyone without the crying because i want my words about her to come out well and understandable...and strong. Grandma deserves it! I am thankful that she's in a BETTER place right now than she was before. She is a peace and that is majorly important to both her, me, and my father and my family.

Take care! Do well.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2017:
...it was Friday for you - i hope the drive went ok - remember you can do most anything! xoxo

Donkey on 07/09/2017:
No, the drives are this coming up Thursday and Friday. Yes, I can do this! (right?)



Donkey - Monday Jul 03, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

My father in law passed away this morning...

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/03/2017:
Hi J,

I’m so sorry to hear of your FIL’s passing. At least he is not uncomfortable anymore. I am sure he is in a better place from the restrictions and confinement of cancer. I hope his wife gets thru it as does her son (your husband) and you and your family…you will. Stay strong and keep the faith on your own life. Keep a positive spirit regarding yourself and your progress – and nobody does live forever – but I’m so sorry he had to die due to cancer, not natural cause.

Stay healthy yourself and maintain your spirit.

I also commented on your entry below.

Donkey on 07/08/2017:
Thank you - this has been difficult.


jabockov on 07/03/2017:
Deepest sympathy.

Donkey on 07/08/2017:
Thank you very much - I appreciate your kind words.


jayhawkjen on 07/04/2017:
I'm sorry to hear about your FIL.

Donkey on 07/08/2017:
Thank you - it has been difficult (((hugs)))



Donkey - Sunday Jul 02, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 136.0

Up a little bit more, but still right where I want to be for maintaining.  Sometimes I think the difference is in whether I weigh in before a "bathroom moment" or after.  So I'm trying not to sweat that the number keeps creeping up...  The Logical Self versus the Emotional Self...

I did not write yesterday because soon after weighing in and then exercising, I left for my folks' house to pick up my free treadmill.  What is usually a 3.5 drive -- just long enough to set my back a-hurtin' -- turned out to be a 5 hour drive with construction and holiday traffic.  Lord, my back was on fire last night when we got home.  After driving, and then heavy lifting (of which I did not even do that much) and then driving home (which only took 3.5 hours), yikes...

This morning, my back was still hurting.  Very hard to get out of bed, but I did.  I feel better now that I've ridden the exercise bike, but I still have to be careful.  For this reason, I am not going to do any weight training today, although I would very much like to do so.  I have the motivation, opportunity, and time.  But alas, I don't want to do ANYTHING that would further aggrevate my back.  I know better.

So both my father-in-law and my step-father are reaching the end, it would seem.  Having dealt with my inlaws all week and then visiting my folks yesterday, it's interesting to see how both men have or have not come to terms with accepting the inevitable.  And then the moms -- the incredible difference between my mother-in-law and my own mom -- one in denial and somewhat selfish, the other having accepted and resigned to what will happen.  Both men are 75, but cancer is a total game-changer, I tell ya...  :-(

Progress as of today: 50.5 lbs lost so far, only -0.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/03/2017:
Hello J-Donk! Finally I’m taking a break at work on purpose to comment on your diary! My boss is interesting lately – giving us lots of work to stay busy even on the days before the holiday (which is a GOOD thing bc it keeps me busy & outta trouble)….but less time to catch up on diaries haha….

I LOVE to weigh in AFTER a “BM” haha….you know it, we all feel better after one of those! LOL now I’m making myself laugh at my desk a bit!!

Not only does the drive hurt your back, it could be the “stress” of driving. There’s a book about decreasing or healing back pain I think by John Sarno and a lot of the pain we experience is our emotions actually causing physical pain. Or stresses causing physical pain. I know this is true as I’ve seen someone I know at work, working too much (not my work, it was my physical therapist who was working too much) and was so stressed out that he had such a BAD PAIN in his back he felt he could not do any more work and actually had to go home. I felt so bad. He was so stressed, he let it ride straight thru him and over him and totally consumed him in pain. He’s better now, but he ended up taking a full week off work after that moment. You can ALWAYS stop to rest and stretch on a long ride, Donkey. You do not have to drive it straight! Btw!

Lately, when I have pain, especially if I feel it in my ankles / legs, I STRETCH…you MUST stretch ! it’ll help! It’s no good to sit in the same spot and no movement for hours. even at work I try to “stand up” every half hour or hour. You have to remember….even when driving…don’t stress yourself more than you have to. Go to a rest stop / gas station and stretch.

75 is sorta young, not really so old, I’m sorry these men are struggling with negative affects of cancer – it’s so sad that it affects so many, especially in the years that they should be happy – like the golden years after retirement.



Donkey - Thursday Jun 29, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

Felt the need to confess a bad eating day yesterday...

I've noticed that in the afternoons, I crave sugar.  So I've been munching on raw vegetables or fruit and/or almonds, but that craving still lingers.

Last night, I tried to stave off the craving with a low carb dessert, but finally just caved in and had 3 large marshmallows, toasted over my stove.  That certainly did satisfy my sugar craving!  And I had a lot of energy after that, so I did a fully upper body AND lower body weight training workout last night.  Might as well take advantage of the energy!

This morning, though, I woke up feeling a bit "hung over" and I'm sure it's because of the sugar.

So my question is this:  Should I use an artificial sweetener in my afternoon coffee and/or in my low carb desserts to calm down the cravings?  My sweetener of choice is saccharine. (Can't stand stevia - too bitter & Splenda is definitely out as it just charges up any cravings and usually results in a binge.)  Or is it better to stick it out and stay pure?

Thoughts?

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/29/2017:
Hola Donkey!

Bad eating days happen and a way to get thru this upsetting time when we tend to dwell on how “bad” we are and how we can’t do anything right and how we are “failures” (all which is NOT so!!!) – well the way to get over this is to realize that we ALL slip up and that you are no different than anyone else in this matter. The only difference is how you RECOVER from a slip – and that’s by trying to get back to your good patterns as soon as possible after a slip !

If you are craving sugar, you may be thirsy. You can drink flavored seltzer which is no calories or chemicals. I flavor mine with stevia for extra sweetness. I use stevia drops. You can have a piece of fruit or your veggies with the seltzer to fill your stomach. Sweetened seltzer with liquid stevia is BEST….ohhh yes! marshmallows would go GREAT with your seltzer (with stevia!). Before gym, I ALWAYS have a sweet treat and no cal drink. And I even do this on non-gym days after work….i love a sweet treat in the afternoon. Oh…speaking of treats….i have been laying low on caffeine and my skin has cleared up….now I’m drinking caffeine today and I am stopping….less caffeine has done wonders on my skin (chin and mouth area)….the biggest culprit was probably energy drinks….i am laying off them but like I said I just used some caffeine drops – should probably throw away but I’m sleepy lol….but being sleepy is I think worth it if I am going to have nice skin!?

Why would you be hungover due to THREE marshmallows! Sugar is OK Donkey…it’s how we get our energy….the main way…! The easiest form of energy is sugar…? So how are you hungover from a SMALL amount of it?

Ok, disregard my suggestions for stevia….i’m now reading you DON’T LIKE IT! LOL…..!

It’s better not to use something artificial and have real sugar in small amounts, but, everything in moderation is my tip….but that’s how I roll. You have to decide for you what is best….but what everyone is always suggesting is “Everything in Moderation.”



Donkey - Tuesday Jun 27, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 135.5

I'm back in the Bizarro world again...

Both yesterday and today I have felt that I'm eating too much. Breakfast is OK, dinner I probably would do better to eat less, but I'm not satisfied with my lunch or snacks so there you have it.

Work has slowed down -- this is even worse than winter, it seems, and for real estate, that's BAD.  I've moved on from the postage stamp drama.  Horn - thank you, your insight was very helpfu.  Then I read a tweet from some guy who CNN misreported a story on.  His message?  Something like "Class act, apology accepted, we all make mistakes, moving on."  WOW - if nothing else, THAT is the frame of mind I want to be in. 

My chin seems to be breaking out again, although hormone fluctuations have ended and it doesn't feel broken out - just looks kind of like my skin is thinking about it.

Father in law is considering hospice care.  I don't have the whole story, but it's just sad. 

Wish I could wake up at 5am and walk before I start my regular exercise routine at 6:30a.  I just can't seem to get my butt out of bed before 6am. 

If I just sit tight, the earth will spin around again and hopefully I'll be restored back to the natural universe again...

Progress as of today: 51 lbs lost so far, only -1 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2017:
....if you want to sleep more in the morning, do it. don't force your body to do things that it seriously doesn't want to do - i hate morning exercise.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2017:
i'm glad my comments helped ;)


Horn_of_plenty on 06/27/2017:
also though, you cannot sit tight and wait for the universe to restore....but i like the thought....any changes you will have to do.

however, i do believe that you are in control of what changes and when....and the morning stuff - you don't have to force things you don't really want. :)

and SLEEP is majorly important - make sure you are getting around the recommended amount.

ever since i started sleeping better, i haven't needed as much caffeine.



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