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Donkey - Thursday Oct 19, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.0

I hurt my back again last night.  Trying to use home remedies and I feel better this evening.  Moved my right leg the wrong way last night, and I immediately knew it was a mistake.  I hoped it would feel better in the morning, bu alas, my back was still complaining.  Rx dosage of Aleve, back brace,  cold compress --- to which tonight I will alternate with heating pad -- and back support pillow at work.  I think this might work.

I have not heard back from the doctor's office regarding the MRI results.

I'm losing my health insurance, because my husband will not be able to work much longer and he carries our insurance.  (My employer does not offer insurance.)

In fact, my husband may have already worked his last day :-(

So I am the new face of TrumpCare.  

Tried on my wedding ring last night and now it's loose.  I have big knuckles, apparently, so no worries that it will fall off, but now there's no tightness.  However... I am not so inclined to wear the ring anyway, any more.

It's been another rough week at work.  Training a new gal -- she's wonderful, but it's still a learning process.  She's making all the right mistakes though, and I think given more time, she'll be fabulous.

 

 

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 10/19/2017:
Horn - I MUST remember the lemon water remedy. I should do this on a regular basis (no pun intended) anyway... I love lemon water but if I drink too much, my teeth hurt.

Bear & Maria - thank you for your encouragement!!

Happy-1 - I hope you're OK. I think about you...


BearCountryGG on 10/19/2017:
I'm so sorry to hear that you are in more pain again......and losing your insurance right now is kinda scary....but it's a good thing you got that MRI in before that happened...If your MRI results were due before this...then give your doctors office a call...I used to be a medical secretary...and sometimes things get misplaced or they get held up on a doctors desk ....but always call if you don't hear back. And yes...the lemon water is a good thing...hope you feel better soon!


legcramps on 10/20/2017:
This really sucks :( I hope things start to look up for you soon...


horn_of_plenty on 10/20/2017:
Hi J-Donk :-P I am so sorry that you are still hurting. I want you to remember to keep your head held high, your thoughts positive and to breathe through the anxiety. I have felt your way in the past, I’m speaking pain-wise, and it can be overcome.

First and foremost, I still recommend that you get the appropriate amount of sleep at least most nights and that you find time for quiet, relaxing activities such as reading or knitting or tv or whatever it is you enjoy doing that relaxes you. I even relax when I have the tv on and I’m petting my sleepy hamster on my chest I love to put it and it falls right into a snooze once I start petting it.

And then I’m usually so tired that I promptly fall to sleep without reading my book at night – so that’s why I’m I guess pretty thankful for my hour lunch at work – I use it mostly productively and read. Today I walked 5 min to the park and laid on the bench, comfortable under a fully sunny and blue sky, warm temp, reading for half an hour. Life is GREAT. Keep your head up. You will feel better, I promise you that.

Why don’t you like t wear the ring? You aren’t used to it anymore? Or fear of losing it? Eh, I don’t enjoy even wearing expensive jewelry…but a wedding ring also defines you – on first appearance, people see you are married. My mom def always wears her ring. It’s like a “marriage status symbol.” In my mind, anyways.

Breathe , the week is basically over, and enjoy your weekend. Take your mind off of work since nobody else will be thinking about it either.

You seem to have a great position – training others also below you. You have skills and knowledge to give others. Keep up the great work.



Donkey - Saturday Oct 14, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.0

Alls well that ends well?  I'm really surprised at the weight-in this morning, because I thought for sure the numbers would keep going up, up, up.... 

I've been hungrier that usual this week and eating more  white carbs (bread, pasta).  Plus, my exercise/activity level has been less -- still good, but not seeing high step counts on my Fitbit.  Most of this is due to the change in season... Cooler temperatures, decreased sunlight after work...  It happens every year, this "chaos" before I settle into a new routine.  Perhaps this "change" challenged my metabolism, which was able to keep up?

Add into this my back problems...  Had the MRI on Thursday.  I had forgotten how loud the machine is, but it was not a bad experience.  In fact, if it weren't for the noises, it was the perfect opportunity to relax and do nothing.  I enjoyed hearing the variety of sounds and tones the machine makes as it does its imaging.  I should have the results early this coming week.  

Most of my pain has gone away -- except felt another dull stab in the back this morning while I was stretching -- but my right side has numbness and, on occassion, coldness, so I'm glad that I had the MRI for some answers...  Especially if I'm going to be losing my health insurance next year...

Finally, to add to all this drama this week, I had some difficulties in the bathroom.  Lack of "bathroom moments" for 3 days.  Yikes...  Things started moving along, reluctantly, yesterday, thank goodness!

It is cold and rainy here this weekend, and with my back pangs, I'm not sure how much of my anbitious "to do" list I will get done...  Last weekend, I did not get anything done for the house selling and I hate that I might miss another weekend...  

Finally made a decision about Thanksgiving:  my son and I will be flying out to Vegas to visit my mom, step-dad, brother, sis-in-law, and their 5 kids.  My daughter and my husband have to work, so they will stay behind.  I'm not happy about being away from my family, but I think this will be the last Thanksgiving that my step-father is alive, and I would like to see him and offer support to my mom.  Plus I love to see my niece and nephews!  So very mixed feelings, but on the other hand, I will have some one-on-one time with my son before I lose him to the military in January...

But right now, I can't think about that, or I'll get too anxious.  So I'll focus on what I can get done today.  It's a perfect day for movies, and I also bought a pumpkin at the store last night to carve.  So I'll be doing some nice things for myself too.

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 10/15/2017:
I'm glad to hear that the MRI was not a challenge and will be interested in seeing what the results are. Sounds like a holiday plan...and congrats on holding the weight in place...you've got this!


horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2017:
Donks...i'll be catching up with you soon chica bonita! pretty lady!!!!!!


horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2017:
Hello Jdonk! I am back and ready to comment on your entry! Finally!!

Yes, metabolism can change. Metabolism also increases I believe when you are sick. The body works to beat the illness and If I am correct the metabolism increases slightly. Also, I know you were cleaning up your house / attic so maybe that is extra exercise on top of your regular exercise? I have been extra hungry too & eating more and I somehow lately was able to beat any weight gain. Weird indeed. But thankful just like you are! Sometimes if you actually feel hungry, real desire for more white stuff (me too), it may actually be ok (I guess?) to listen to your body….i always do go back to the vegetables and lately I’m better than ever at learning to balance my eating and being able to eat more high cal items and learn to get full or order a drink to balance out the cal…I’m getting better and not always having to order a salad / vegetables and learning to eat more balanced…but still always use vegetables to counteract calories when I’m in the mood for them! Like you, I am not experiencing weight gain from small indulgences in treats. Good to know I can enjoy treats in moderation.

I’ve also had an MRI and yeah the sounds are pretty out there ! My fingers are crossed to know what the results are and that it is nothing too big…I also have some pain these days but I already know why – combo of lots of sitting, traveling, stress, extra walking, exercise, and not enough exercise….actually you just helped me figure out the main reason for my leg and back pain: CHANGING OF ROUTINE / getting off routine…thanks, J Donk….i am confident that as I settle back in, things will improve form me ! And the same for you..as you feel better, well then you’ll get back to your routine and things will be smoother for you too.

Why are you losing your health insurance? I think you need to have health insurance at your age????

To aid in your bathroom struggles, pickled items work for me as well as hot water with lemon or my favorite, that I drink most days – kombucha (but this is expensive drink).

For the first day ever this fall, it was cold this morning. Felt like serious NY winter almost in the mid 40’s. What a change from 80’s in Vegas! Now I’m glad we did go when we did…some extra sun before winter begins.

You will enjoy the slightly warm weather in vegas as opposed to your cooler weather by you….go and enjoy. I assume you will stay with them which is great. You’ll save quite a bit of cash….enjoy the weather and climate over there. Enjoy your family. No reason to get anxious but just like you, I do, before big events like a trip. But know that if you forget anything, you can buy it there. And you’ll be with family, not alone. Enjoy!


Maria7 on 10/18/2017:
Hope you have a good day.



Donkey - Tuesday Oct 10, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Difficulties...

My back is feeling so much better. My pain is almost all gone. But I can see in the mirror that I am crooked. My right side is higher than my left. So I still plan to go to the MRI on Thursday.

Despite the improvement, today was a difficult day, eating-wise... I got very anxious this afternoon at work, and I just could not stop myself from eating. I had my raw vegetables, a protein bar, and then finished my stash of almonds (about half a cup)! I knew, too, that I was eating for the wrong reason. I don't want to call it a binge, but it felt very familiar.

The initial problem was that my lunch was not substantial enough, which led to natural hunger, but then the afternoon rush at work kicked in, and there I went, of the deep end...

Needless to say, I'm suffering a bit of discomfort this evening, which hopefully will reconcile itself tomorrow morning.

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/11/2017:
My husband has a bit of scoliosis in his back and I do think it bothers him now in his later years....for so long it really didn't bother him. The MRI will clear things up....Don't know if you have ever had one before...but I have and my suggestion is to try to keep your eyes closed...it is very noisy and close but try to remember you are SAFE in there. You may feel that you had a bit of a binge but the foods you ate are all health giving so hope you do feel better this morning.

Donkey on 10/11/2017:
Thank you for the MRI tips - that's exactly how I plan to approach the experience.

I'm feeling so anxious this morning... Too much going on, too many decisions to make, too many changes...


horn_of_plenty on 10/11/2017:
with the anxiety...sometimes for me the ONLY thing that resolves the eating thing is allowing something high sugar...it calms the anxiety - bag of chips, or chocolate bar. do not worry, allow it....at least for me, the trick is to allow a high sugar / high carb at least treat. even bag of pretzels. helps me relax as i have food issues too and understand. perhaps this could help you - and to remember that the feelings will also pass. that one bag of pretzels is one bag - and that you will feeel better.


innerpeace on 10/11/2017:
If you are anxious now, I suggest your request a sedative for the MRI. I never knew I had claustrophobic tendencies until I had to be in one for 45 minutes. Well I guess unless you 've had an MRI before...

Good luck and I hope things settle down for you.


legcramps on 10/11/2017:
Yep, ask for a sedative and it will make the experience much better for you.



Donkey - Saturday Oct 07, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Up 2 pounds... thinking that might be due to the prednisone prescribed for my back. The medications prescribed to me at urgent care make me very thirsty. I've been craving sugar so much but have been resisting.

The pain killers have been helping but today I was delayed and the pain had returned. I finished my errands early, so that I can focus on my back. Just about done icing, then I will switch to heat, then I will do some stretches and some light walking.

I remain hopeful that this can be fixed. I must be healthy for my family, this cannot be my new normal...

MRI on Thursday... until then, just trying to make the best of things. One thing, though, that this has helped me really appreciate what my husband goes through on a daily basis with no hope of improvement.

God help us all..

Progress as of today: 53.5 lbs lost so far, only -3.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/07/2017:
Hoping for you that you start feeling better soon.....have you had an MRI before? It's an interesting experience....try to keep your eyes closed.

Donkey on 10/10/2017:
I have, a long time ago... I told myself that there's no need to panic because the worst that can happen is that I'll pass out. Just reaffirming that seemed to calm me down...


Horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2017:
why are you doing the light walking? it sounds like you have been busy all day already..? remember to take it easy so you feel better and can do more when you are rested :)

no, this will not be your normal normal unless you decide to settle. and you don't!

My fingers are crossed for you...good luck at MRI...feel better, keep your Donkey Head Up!

Donkey on 10/10/2017:
Light walking helps loosen up my back. Works for about 20 minutes.


Horn_of_plenty on 10/11/2017:
OK this is good...keep your walking then! :)

and yes, i know what you mean by it loosening your back...sitting all day has a tendency to make things rigid, yes. Good girl!



Donkey - Tuesday Oct 03, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.0

Taking Horn's advice and resting this week. No biking in the morning, no walking at lunch, no walk after dinner. Just resting, taking meds, and applying warm and cold to my back.

The physical therapist has been resetting my pelvic bone only to have it slip back into misalignment in an hour or so. So, I am going to the doctor's tomorrow.

Three pain killers and muscle relaxers are wonderful. I felt like I could bike and run no problem after my evening dosage kicked in. And I'm so ancy to get out and move! But if the problem isn't really fixed, I try to remind myself that I could actually do myself more harm.

We'll see how it goes tomorrow... Fingers crossed. This can't be my new normal...

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/04/2017:
Feel better.....If you can relax your mind too...that sometimes helps.....there are relaxation exercises that do loosen up muscles and sometimes that helps too...


horn_of_plenty on 10/04/2017:
i am sorry i advised you to rest, but i do think it will help you. it's the only thing left to try. because by walking and all, you were hurting yourself. lately i sleep 8 hours at night, and wake up wanting to sleep 9! I think that this season and in winter we need more rest, more sleep.

yes, let your body rest and don't exercise if you are taking the drugs just yet, wait to see how you feel when you aren't drugged!

take care, and keep on with your healing!


horn_of_plenty on 10/04/2017:
i do agree with BCGG...don't yell at yourself ! lol...you can do it!!



Donkey - Sunday Oct 01, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.0

Hurt my back again this Sunday morning... This is my first and only priority right now. 

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/02/2017:
Oh...I'm sorry to hear that....Relax and rest...thinking of you!


horn_of_plenty on 10/02/2017:
Hi J Donkey….

If the back is not getting better and you keep reinjuring, I can only recommend what I have learned in the past when I had continuous injuries and pain: your body needs no exercise now and needs extra rest for healing. At least, this is my only option and was in the end the ONLY solution when I was deep into my injuries approx. 2-3 years ago now. Boy does time fly. Still feels like yesterday but not at all…no wonder I am finally feeling like myself! Lol, it’s certainly been long enough!

But this is what I’m saying – injuries take time to heal. If you are really tired all the time, I suggest you take a week to heal. You were also sick. Your body is craving healing and rest. Just let it be. Even two weeks of mostly rest…until you get fully better, then resume. At least a week off. Just stretching at home or like a really short walk if you have to. Let yourself get back on track. Or at least this is what I’d have to do, everyone is slightly different.

Bc what happened to your back sounds very painful. Why even walk. Just stretch and let it be…

Forget about getting ready for the move for a week or two. Let yourself get better. Or let your daughter help you with the lifting…? Feel better, it will not last forever.



Donkey - Saturday Sep 30, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 131.0

 I threw my back out again quite badly on Thursday.  I was putting on a pair of pants, and it felt like a knife going through my back.  I could not move.  Thank goodness my son was at home.  I was able to move eventually and went to work.  After watching TV Thursday night, I could not uncross my legs without feeling stabbing pains in my lower back.  I ended up on the floor unable to get up.  Everyone else was upstairs and would not have heard me, since they wear headphones while on the computer or were sleeping with a box fan on for white noise.  Again, eventually I was able to stand up and go upstairs.

When I was upstairs, I looked in the bathroom mirror and my shoulders were aligned about 3 inches to the left of my pelvis. This is caused by a tilting of the pelvic bone.  Pain, pain, and more pain.  

On Friday, I finally went to the physical therapist on the first floor of my workplace, and she put me back straight again.  Unfortunately, my hips were so sore from being misaligned for so long.  I thought all was good until I came back from my evening walk, when I looked in the mirror again and saw my spine was visibily crooked again.  Not as much as before but still misaligned.

So I had my daughter help me with a couple of the stretches that my therapist used on me, and I think it helped.  Took a muscle relaxer, slept on a large cold-pack, and woke up OK.  But my morning stationary bike ride was not comofortable.  As I sit and type this, I'm feeling a lot of tension in my back.  I will have my daughter stretch me out again before she leaves for work this afternoon.

With this inconvenience, I'm not sure how much I will be able to get done this weekend.  Going into the crawlspace to pull out boxes to sort and purge through is probably not a good thing to be doing with a temperamental back.  I must get over this pain.  I feel so helpless, restless, frustrated...

I don't know if it's the muscle relaxers (which I don't take a lot of) or if it's the pain, but things have slowed down for me, intestinally, which is another complication I could do without.  "It's always something" is 100% right...

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only -5.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/30/2017:
Well those sound like some miserable days....do you have a heating pad? My husband was at the emergency room with back spasms a few weeks ago...and the heating pad has been a lot of help to him.....feel better soon!



Donkey - Tuesday Sep 26, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

(I have responded to replies in my previous entry...)

My time is short tonight, but I am excited to say that I found a goal to strive for in October -- oh yes, I'm already thinking ahead to next month. 

Still battling sinus pressure/congestion.  Taking a nasal spray really helps clear me up, but once it wears off, wow, do I get stuffed up in a hurry.  By the end of the workday, I'm so stuffed up I can hardly speak on the phone coherently.

The driveway is done.  The painter started today.  I am confident that both will give the house the outside "pop" that we need.

I had lunch with a friend a few weeks ago, and we were talking about losing weight, calories, etc.  We were talking about my weight loss, and I looked at her and said, "This is the third or fourth time I've lost the same 50 or so pounds."  She was encouraging by saying, "This time I'm sure you'll keep it off."

I sure do hope so.  Maintenance is tough.
 

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/26/2017:
I guess it's 56 pounds, according to the DD tracker.


bearcountrygg on 09/26/2017:
I would say that you are keeping it off...and it isn't easy....good job!


horn_of_plenty on 09/27/2017:
Hello J Donkey!

I am glad you considered all my comments previously. I only write the truth, I cannot stand lying or not being honest in my true feelings which is why I cannot be friends or even stand fake people (like some in my office lol!). It’s funny to see someone change their personality based on who they are with to be able to try to make everyone like them…I wish I had more social ability at times to be friends with more people, but, having few friends seems better for me because it’s very difficult to make friends with many compared to just a few reliable ones lol!...reliable even here on DD! I believe you are similar to me in your personality. Not fake! Lol….ok…

Well it IS the last week in September so it makes sense to think towards October. I JUST started also planning a hair towards October starting Monday I wrote in my calendar that I’ll be at the gym come Sunday. :-P yay. I like your goal setting and plans – it’s what I do also. If I do not make plans, I do NOT get anything done. Yesterday was one of the MOST efficient days home that I’ve had in a long time because I made dinner plans with my friend Ricky so I was sorta forced to stay on track during the day…it felt so good to sleep in, relax a bit on couch, get laundry done and gym!...and head out to dinner at night! It truly felt like another vacation day especially bc we went to a nearby “chinatown” – all Chinese and now also including Indian restuarants in an area I hardly go but only 10-15 minutes away from home!. It’s SO NICE tohave time to experience things that there is usually no time for!

I actually used a regular non-Rx nasal spray today bc my ears were still (but almost done) recovering from backed up / clogged ears from the flight(s) home…my ears always get this way. Finally they are cleared. Monday at work, I wasn’t hearing right all day lol. … all is good now. PLEASE TAKE THE NASAL SPRAY TO WORK, LADY!! DO NOT SUFFER AT WORK! Plan to get better…not worse!

Yes a new paint job will spruce things up tons!!!!!! It’ll be perfect to help sell your home. Yup! But – please don’t invest too much???? I know that even hiring a painter can cost a ton!

Maintenance is stuff bc the “high” we get from seeing the scale move is no longer. And the changes we made in our eating to lose weight need to STICK. No longer can you flip flop and become a glutton again – (I had a point in life where I’d binge on mcdonalds fries and then maybe even get more fries from a place called ….what is the name lol….Checkers fries…and then back to mcdonalds for a shake…that was the most glutinous time of my life…I had no control….and felt horrible after a binge….i’ll never go back to it)…you have to realize and deep down inside your mind realize that eating less calories and continued exercise makes for a BETTER YOU. To learn to love the way you feel when you look how YOU want to look. To realize that you can shape your outside and that you really are TOTALLY in control of people’s perceptions of you….and something related bc I am reminded right now as I sit at my desk at work – acceptance that NOT EVERYONE is going to ever like you….and to learn to let this feeling go…I sit here, realizing I am NOT allowed to speak to people at work….and realize I am also very lucky because I haven’t done any work since I left for my trip! My boss didn’t assign my partner and myself new work for Monday and I was off Yesterday. And now I’m following up on DD – now it’s 10am and I’ve sat here / used the bathroom a couple times since 8am.

Boy I am GLAD the pressure has died down at work …. That I’m finally able to concentrate on my needs for the NYPD…that I have one more trip planned in 2 weeks….and all I have to do is shut my mouth.

So – so what if people hate me?!

It’s hard to let that go…social pressures…

Also, I went out for dinner with my friend Ricky and his friend, Don, last night. Don reminded me of something…let it go even with my friends. I haven’t seen my “real friends” since the Spring. In the summer, I met up with old “friends” that I do not communicate with except for little reunions around 1x-2x per year. My other friends I used to see at least 1x per month. Now, it’s been maybe 3-4 months not seeing them. It’s a lot, but, I have decided to sorta let this go. Life is busy. Real friends support you no matter what. They travel also and it just doesn’t work to have seen them too often. Don also said he hangs out with people now based more on convenience of location – similar to me and Ricky who live a few blocks apart only! Makes things simple planning & convenience-wise!!

I used to be upset with my schedule feeling like it was a give & take to either see friends / family or work out or used to not even have time to sleep…now I mostly do….and instead of getting upset with my schedule, I’m learning to roll with it…and like you and how I suggested to you – I do plan for periods of relaxation since if I don’t plan to be home early, etc, it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like!.....

In general – having a plans for me is how I operate my life!

And mainteinance is tough…there must be a valid and big reason in your head of why it’s so important to you. For me, I love fitting into clothes and feeling lighter. And I love how the gym makes me feel. Even when I take a break and it’s hard to come back to.

Think of maintenance as your life. That there’s nothing better to go back to. And as you maintain longer, you’ll learn better ways to feel satisfied on less…I am now just recently learning the ability to eat those higher cal foods and not crave to follow with a binge onthem….to enjoy them in the moment and be satisfied. Something I’ve NEVER been able to do my entire adult life since college.

So you are going to learn strategies and coping mechanisms your whole life as you journey through it…maintenance is what you make of it, J Donk! It doesn’t have to be a struggle as much as you want to make it so – try to play the game and strategize to win. And this is while maintenance def does require some planning. No plans equals no wins….in my opinion.

Life success requires ACTION…inaction will have life controlling you instead of the other way around…so your planning in my opinion is necessary for a steady and happy life at your goal weight.

After my sister’s wedding in April 2016, I gained like 5 pounds and realized I’d have to really stick at the new maintenance plan and eating strategies for life….and since then, for 1.5 years now, I’ve maintained with slight ups and downs. I never like the ups on the scale to get too high, bc it feels very out of control for me to have to work to get it back down. Lifting weights has really helped me all along and adding jogging / walking in has helped also. I can eat more calories than I used to. Adding sleep in has also been a major benefit towards eating less.


horn_of_plenty on 09/27/2017:
and yes, my diet changes throughout the month, especially that Time of Month....but one steady thing is my return always to veggies.



Donkey - Saturday Sep 23, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 130.5

 Almost at 100%:  my back feels just about normal (functioning-wise) and the sinus infection has pretty much cleared up, with the exception of some pressure in the afternoons and an occassional cough.

Because of the medicine I was taking for my cold, everything tasted dull and tinny (like an aluminum can).  So you would think that would cause me to eat less, right?  WRONG.  I kept eating MORE because I was trying to reach that point of satisfaction and could not reach it.  Also, I had no desire for any sort of raw vegetable, which is usually my "fail-safe" at work to deal with stress eating.  Fruit might have substituted well (although too much fruit causes skin  breakouts and digestive issues), but we were out of fruit!  I ran out of protein powder that I use to make my morning shakes, so I switched to oatmeal and walnuts for breakfast.  

My whole eating routine was out of balance this week!

THEN on top of that, those lovely hormones kicked in and had a Hungry Day or two, where I wanted to eat all the time.  And I sort of fell to that.  I often wish that I could eat less, but that never seems to work for me.

This week has been... busy, I guess is the best word for it.  Work has gotten quite busy again, to the point of where it would be nice if I had help, but my daughter (who was my help) started her new job this week, so help is out.  My son went  to Chicago this week for testing for the military.  I guess he's really going to do this.  Of course, I am very upset, but then I had a friend tell me that I must have done something right as a mom, if I raised a child who is willing to make this honorable and noble sacrifice.  That has been of some comfort to me.

Also, made appointments for our driveway to get sealcoated and the trim on our house to be painted this week.  The driveway is getting done today.  This is in preparation of putting the house on the market in January/February.  I think the next appointment will be with the handyman to make some cosmetic repairs.  

I fell short this week of my goal to fill up the garbage can and recycling bin.  Just too tired, in too much pain, too sick, not enough time...

This is where I run into problems:  I work late, come home, have dinner.  Do I use my ONE HOUR of free time to purge stuff in the house or do I walk to destress and relax?  This week, I've been choosing the walking, except for last night, when I went grocery shopping so I wouldn't have to do it today.  FEEDBACK WOULD BE APPRECIATED.  What do you think?

 

PS  To BiscottiBody:  I am looking not only to downsize, but to also find a property where I do not have to maintain the outside of the property.  My husband really cannot do any of this any more without suffering a week of pain and problems, and his condition will only get worse.  My son (my muscle power), is leaving in January, and my daughter will be with us for maybe another 2 years at the most.  I cannot ask her to be responsible for all of the yardwork and repairs that I cannot do (either due to my back or to my shortness), since she is only getting busier with her own life.  We are trying to figure out if we should stay in this god-foresaken state of Illinois or move out to Nevada to be closer to family or to move to a state that is more beneficial tax-wise and health-care wise.  A lot of unknowns right now, so I'm trying to stay focused on the first couple of steps, but my back pain sidelined that this week. 

Progress as of today: 56 lbs lost so far, only -6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/23/2017:
It's good to hear that you are starting to feel better....and I hear you about eating waiting for the satisfaction point to kick in ... all I can figure out about myself is that somewhere along in life I started looking at food as something more than fuel...and it has become a mindset for me...I know it stated with extreme stress....but the stress is no longer there and I haven't changed back to food for fuel mode. We downsized to a much smaller house 6 years ago...and no lawn...we have trees and ferns right up the a 5 foot row of gravel all around the house...and we love it. We will stay in Michigan even with the winters...I know you have the same winter issues in Illinois.

Donkey on 09/26/2017:
I wonder if stress has residual effects. Sort of like PTSD but on a smaller level. Just because the stress stops, doesn't mean the biological responses to that stress do. It's part of what has helped us survive over the eons. Please don't be too hard on yourself!

Yes, I do know what winter is like. Michigan probably gets more snow than we do or did (especially if you're in the UP). Still, I love the changes in the seasons. I just wish my back were stronger to handle the maintenance.


horn_of_plenty on 09/23/2017:
I see you wrote a lot and will write to you when I am home :)


horn_of_plenty on 09/25/2017:
Hi J-Donk!

Finally I’m back home (at work actually) and ready to read this long entry of yours :-P…happy to read it and finally comment!

Oatmeal and walnuts is still ok, J-Donk. It sounds that you were not enjoying the “uncomfortable” change in your routine while being sick and not having full taste. I get why you were eating more, as a comfort reason I do believe….to make you feel better / try to get that same taste satisfaction without being able to taste things right…don’t worry. Give yourself a break in getting to up in arms with yourself (respect yourself, lady!!! You are a great person, wonderful human being – stop punishing yourself!) while you are recovering! I am 100% supportive of you because I know you work hard. I know you are a 100% giving, honest, considerate, caring person. You are a beautiful person – and I want you to realize this. Be good to yourself!!

I also know what it’s like to not want veggies. I get like this around my period I just cannot digest the veggies – too much bulk with the increased / decrease in movement of those lower ab muscles that work the body during that time of the month. I am reading your entry and it seems you wanted / craved a balance when everything was outta balance. Try to just go with it more….sorta like what I did during my trip – we ate mostly fried small portions of food at each meal including a pastry like a croissant filled lightly (mostly just croissant) with chicken (hardly any) for breakfast!

I put in my mind something similar that I was telling Innerpeace – I realized that my trip was just a short amount of time….and that once home I’d be able to gorge / eat more quantity for my meals with the veggies. And this is also how I have begun to think during that time of the month when I don’t want veggies – I just realize it…and realize that I will be craving veggies again soon once the current time passes me….don’t worry about eating different while sick and/or hormonal changes – because you will be accountable after those times!

Realize that moments are moments. Times pass. You can move from not wanting veggies to wanting veggies. To listen to your body. All because you had a plan to have protein powder, maybe that’s what is not best for a week. If you like a protein powder, you WILL buy it again, and you WILL start using it again. Even if not the week you were sick :-D Try to comfort yourself and know that you are in control of the situation, even if it’s not the usual eating and stuff – that you will return to eating that stuff you were missing when you are able or want to!

Congrats to your son on leaving for military testing. Is this straight out of high school or he went to college? I forget how old your son is. I also agree with your friend that your son’s decision to go is extremely honorable. As a mom, I understand your discomfort. But I do think you should be proud of him for the choice he has made.

Good for you to get the work done on your house! Proud of you for being proactive in the selling process…Even though you feel short on the recycling / garbage, it makes sense since you were sick. We don’t always finish everything we want to….But you’ll do it as you feel better.

I think that relaxing is a GOOD idea and that it’s not right to come home from work just to work. Things do NOT need to be always done ASAP. Your mental destressing and allowing yourself to relaxing for an hour at home is also important. You see, doing housework is important, but it’s also important to rest your body and mind. So I think it’s ok not to choose to be Homeworking after Working. It’s about balance. And it’s NOT wrong to choose relaxing. You HAVE to make choices in life and it’s good to choose relaxing. Life isn’t meant to always be a pain in the butt…you have to make the choices that give you peace and satisfaction. It’s OK to choose to relax. Many do. I do. It makes sense to not want to be always on the go. If work is busy, choosing a slower pace at home is not a bad thing. I think you are just fine!

You are taking a great step to move to a place where maintenance is included.

Donkey on 09/26/2017:
Thank you for your wonderful words of support. You are right - I'm starting to want raw vegetables again. Yay! Because I really do like them :-)

It's very helpful to know that this "change in taste" doesn't happen to just me. You're 100% right, though: in order for maintenance to be a long-term success, I have to learn to roll with the waves, so to speak.



Donkey - Saturday Sep 16, 2017
(Reduction of processed carbs & wishful exercise)
Weight: 133.0

Had back pain - in various degrees - final got it reconciled thanks to stretching, walking, and a physical therapy appointment. Finally feeling pain free today and I woke up with a sinus infection. Wah-wah... but I'm so glad my back feels better.

Gained a pound... I attribute that to some irregularity. Hope that works itself out (figuratively and literally, LOL)

Donkey on 09/16/2017:
(Biscottibody - I left a comment on your latest entry.)


bearcountrygg on 09/16/2017:
Back pain is the worst, I just posted a pic of the one I use last night...see below.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/17/2017:
I see it's been not so pleasant the past couple weeks - please don't worry....i know it'll pass....keep your head up and not in your JDonk like a J*acka$$.....LOL JUST KIDDING...but jack*sses are a type of DONKEY...lol...ok back to normal commenting...

You'll be ok and irregularity drives me nuts too!

next, feel better soon and get rest FIRST before exercise. SLEEP AND REST will solve the infection faster. Take it easy. It seems you were wearing yourself thin with the back pain maybe it caused a lot of stress on you and that's why you have an infection? possibly?

feel better, do not worry too much, you'll be back on the mend. This bad time doesn't stick around forever!



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