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Donkey - Monday Apr 23, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: (I'm ready for this challenge to be over...)

65 minutes crosstrainer + 20 minutes weight training + 18 minutes stair stepper + 20 minute jog outside + 20 minutes pitching girls' softball = 143 minutes

And this would have been really impressive had I not had 5 squares of pizza for dinner. UGH! But I was hungry, and I still had softball to do as well, after dinner.

When I get to softball, we had a practice game tonight. So I've been pitching to the girls all this time. Well, Coach decides HE"S going to pitch to the girls tonight. He's NEVER pitched to them before. I had nothing to do. I was sitting there at 3rd base wishing I had brought a cup of coffee, feeling foolish and useless. Needless to say, he's pitching to the girls way over their heads...

We only played 2 innings, and the second inning, Coach said I could pitch and he would work with the girls running the bases. YAY! But now I know, so next time, I won't refuel at dinner like I did tonight because I won't count on having to pitch. And I will bring a cup of coffee, for sure.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

borntocry on 04/24/2007:
Hi Donkey! I hate not knowing exactly what I'm going to be doing later in the day, so I can plan out my "fuel" accordingly. This happens to me often when I meet my husband for lunch. Sometimes he wants to walk around shopping for an hour before we eat, and if that happens I have to eat something beforehand, because I don't have breakfast and just don't have the energy. Maybe from now on, instead of eating extra at dinner, you could take an emergency energy bar or something with you in case you have to pitch the whole time and run out of steam!

And it sounds like you have quite a dilemma with the one outdoorsy child and the other stay-at-home child, too. What does the stay-at-home child like to do? Anything that could be done outdoors as well (reading, those hand-held video game things)? If he's anything like my brother (it's your son, isn't it, who likes to stay home?) then wild horses couldn't drag him outside, but I hope it's not that bad!

Anyway, thank you so much for the comment you left me. It is really nice to know I'm not alone (both in the "no control around nuts" sense and in the "social misfit" sense). You did make some reference to the cashew incident(s) once or twice but never went into specifics. Believe it or not, I have also finished a whole pound of peanuts on more than one occasion, starting from the tender age of 10 or 12, when my mother brought home a bag of freshly-roasted peanuts for the family, only to find it empty half an hour later. I felt so guilty I vowed never to repeat that behaviour - ha ha ha! Oh, and 1 kilo is actually 2.2 pounds, not the other way around. I was never too familiar with kilos myself until I moved to Europe, but my scale is in kilos so I've had to get used to the conversion!

greengirl on 04/24/2007:
Great job on the exercise!!!

Donkey - Sunday Apr 22, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 30 minute walk to the park w/kids + 65 minutes on crosstrainer = 95 minutes

A much better day. Getting to the gym totally brightens up my day, even if I go in the afternoon. I'm about to indulge in a healthy salmon dinner and relax.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

denashope on 04/22/2007:
great job on the challenge minutes! :)

hollybelle on 04/23/2007:
You are doing great on exercise time! Make kids get outside when weather is nice. It's good for them.

Donkey - Saturday Apr 21, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 75 minutes coaching girls' softball

But honestly, I feel like that wasn't a worthy workout. And of course, I slept in so I didn't make it to the gym early, for the intense 30 minute crosstrainer workout I had hoped/planned for.

I am feeling utterly discouraged and self-defeated. I am essentially re-living my childhood nightmare of being stuck at home so that the other kids in the family can go outside and play with their friends. Husband is of no help whatsoever because he is working 12 hours today. He will be home at 7p, and by then, the gym is closed. (One of the DISadvantages of not having signed up at the Fancy Gym is that it's not open 24 hours a day.)

I have one kid who *loves* to go out and play and another who equally *detests* being outdoors. So it's not like we can even do family outdoor activities. Seriously, it was a beautiful day out here and I spent the whole afternoon watching TV.

Oh well, at least I did not EAT while I was watching TV, which is what I did when I was a child, because I was bored, lonely, resentful, that I was stuck at home. And so the pattern continues on. This is like a bad dream that I can't wake up from!

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/21/2007:
you can always sign up at the fancy gym next time, unless money is an issue. perhaps explain to your husband the hours and everything...why the fancy gym is better...

greengirl on 04/22/2007:
Can't you persuade the kids to compromise, all of you stay in one day with the homebody, and all go out on alternate days with the adventurous one!! It seems such a waste to stay in all the time when your hubby isnt there:0

Donkey - Friday Apr 20, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training = 90 minutes.

I really didn't do much else. I was so tired from being wide awake at 2a-4a that I took a nap in the afternoon. My workout today was abbreviated as the kids were home from school.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/21/2007:
hi donkey! i see you are back to an exercise routine today! nice!

greengirl on 04/21/2007:
Doing great with the exercise!!!I hear you on the disturbed sleep and the nap in the afternoon :0)

Donkey - Thursday Apr 19, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes crosstrainer (resistance level 10) + 20 minutes weight training + 25 minutes crosstrainer (resistance level 15) = 110 minutes

I am so busy today that I thought I would update my diary now with my activity minutes. I will be out until 8:30p with my son at the library for Chess Club. I'm soooo tired. Almost slipped up with some leftover birthday cake but kept it in check. (So I could have done better, but definitely didn't do as bad as I could have, that's for sure!) But because I'm tired, I'm drinking too much coffee and not enough water. Which also contributes to fatigue, this I know.

I plan on drinking more water tonight and chewing gum to keep my calories in check. I should do alright. I would like to weigh in tomorrow morning if I can stay on track.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 18, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

I can't believe I forgot to login yesterday! I was so busy!

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: TUESDAY: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 20 minutes weight training + 35 minutes treadmill (5% incline) = 120 minutes

WEDNESDAY: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 20 minutes weight training + 35 minutes on the stair stepper = 120 minutes

EVENING EDIT: I did not do as well as I had hoped I would do with my son's birthday cake. But I had aimed for 2000 calories today and I did 2200-2300 calories instead. I did do more time on the stair stepper this afternoon though, in anticipation of having trouble resisting the chocolate cake. I hope to weigh in on Saturday or Sunday, so hopefully it will all even out by then.

There was some walking around too, as I went shopping for my son's birthday presents yesterday, but I will not count that. So today I face another day of doughnuts, cake and ice cream. I finished off a doughnut that my son could not finish. I know some of you would be like, "Throw it away!" but that is how I let myself have a taste of the treat without having a full serving of the treat. The dangerous part about that is that you have to keep track of all these "bites" or they will add up. I also plan to cut myself a small(er) slice of cake and just a spoonful of ice cream, not a whole glob of it.

Anyway, it was with the doughnut that I realized today is just going to be a day that is higher in calories than other days. Some days are like that. I really need to find the time to exercise today, and not be like last week with my daughter's birthday, that I got so busy with gifts that I left no time for myself.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 04/18/2007:
Your post from Sunday was awesome. Gotta love those "ah-ha" moments. Good for you - hope you have already started taking care of yourself better!

wantabfit on 04/18/2007:
WOW you have logged some GREAT work outs keep it up!

Donkey - Monday Apr 16, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training + 13 minutes on the stair stepper machine thingy + 60 minutes (actually more) coaching little girls' softball = 163 minutes.

Equals one tired Donkey, that's for sure :-)

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

sharklover on 04/16/2007:
wow! that's a lot of exercise! way to go!

greengirl on 04/17/2007:
I hope this exercise pays off for you. You are certainly putting in a lot of effort. Keep up the good work :)

Donkey - Sunday Apr 15, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 minutes on the crosstrainer (no points for Saturday)

I had one of those light-bulb moments this afternoon. I realized that my recent bingeing behavior stems back from a family conflict that happened way back in July of 2006. It started when I was thinking about giving forth my best effort with weight loss, if I was really doing that or just wasting everybody's time with "trying" to lose weight. Then I thought back to what it was when I started losing control of my eating, and it started right around Thanksgiving. (Yes, friends, I've been going downhill slowly, picking up speed as I go along, until yesterday when my Husband had had enough and said, "What is *wrong* with you??" Hey, Hon, I'll tell you what's wrong with me: my dysfunctional family is what's wrong with me!!) This is because our holiday plans were completely changed due to the squabble in July. Because I didn't want to spend ANY time with people who, although we are "family", think that I am less than worthy of being "family".

Realizing that I am still hurting from this incident really woke me up! Not so much that I need to forgive (which I probably do, but I'm saving that for the priest when I go to Confession) but that *I* need to take care of *myself* because I have not healed from this injury. I thought I had, but I haven't. I really need to give my best effort to losing weight because it is for my benefit. Anything less than my best would be like joining in on my relatives who treat me like crap, too.

Life is hard enough without having to battle one's own self.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

Donkey - Friday Apr 13, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 140.5

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES: 65 min on the crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training = 90 minutes.

I did not exercise at all yesterday. I used up my free time that I would normally spend exercising on a fruitless shopping endeavor for more birthday presents for my daughter instead. You know, it was just a bad day overall. No need to re-hash something so negative like that today.

Progress as of today: -2 lbs lost so far, only 15.5 lbs to go!

maria777 on 04/13/2007:
Wow, you sure did exercise a lot today!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/14/2007:
hey, at least you were doing something instead of exercising! you know, i did the same thing! i went to cvs and the supermarket for a short, quick shopping trip...instead of exercising, which i ended up doing right before bed!

WorkingIt2 on 04/14/2007:
Great job on the exercise! Sorry to read that you had a fight with your husband..hopefully all is better now!

Donkey - Wednesday Apr 11, 2007
(Portion control & Exercise)
Weight: 144.0

APRIL CHALLENGE MINUTES TOTAL: 125 (see below) + 15 min more of shoveling = 140 minutes. ((Didn't do more than just the shoveling.))

OK, I took a sneak peek cheat at my weigh-in, and I'm down to about 139-140. So at least my efforts are paying off. Now I just have to get back to my "starting point" so I can start losing the weight I wanted to lose in the first place.

I cannot believe it is snowing here. In April. Snow. Me shovel. Me shovel twice (or at least I foresee having to shovel again). Bleah. Funny thing is that a couple of neighbors were outside cutting their grass yesterday. At least I had enough smarts not to do THAT.

I was supposed to go shopping today for my daughter's birthday cake and presents for tomorrow (she will be 7!). Unfortunately, this weather is not cooperating, and I don't know if I dare risk driving to the store to shop for her. She needs goodies to take to school tomorrow to, for her birthday snack. Ugh....

Since I have logged on here, I am going to sub-total my exercise minutes, so that when I have to go out and shovel again, I can just add the time on to the sum. Let's see: 85 minutes on the crosstrainer + 25 minutes weight training + 15 minutes shoveling = 125 minutes so far.

Progress as of today: -5.5 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

amanda8419 on 04/11/2007:
I am a driver. Im on call for the medical center 88 hours, 7 days a week. It just doesnt have any benefits and the pay depends on how much I get called in. I get a base pay of like 620 every two weeks before taxes, then when i punch in i get another 20.00. if im there for more then 2 hours i get 10 an hour. so the pay ranges from 485 every two weeks to 700 every two weeks. i just want something more stable, with a real schedule, benefits, bonuses, and regular pay lol

hollybelle on 04/11/2007:
Great exercise. GOOD Donkey! GOOD Donkey!

borntocry on 04/11/2007:
Oh, well done! So what's your starting point - 136?

Thanks for your comment. Yes, I think reminding myself of my calorie philosophy really helped prevent the huge binge which normally ensues when some unexpected hurdle comes my way. It's crazy, really, how the realisation that I've gone 10 or 20 or 100 calories over my "limit" can spark an out-of-control eating spiral. This morning it didn't even really matter that I was at 1600 or so calories for yesterday, whereas if I'd eaten myself into oblivion I would have woken up feeling so sick and disgusted with myself.

WorkingIt2 on 04/11/2007:
How nice to see the scale drop!

Justine6Robert3 on 04/11/2007:
Yay, all that effort is moving the scales, good for you! Great job on the exercise again! Shovelling, your weather sounds blah also. I'm soooo tired of snow. At least there isn't enough for me to have to shovel, at least not yet who knows what kind of "Spring" weather we will have tomorrow!! At least you got alot of exercise in, shovelling is definetly exercise!!

Keep up the great working, I'm so proud of how excellent your doing with your exercises! Happy Birthday to your daughter, how quickly they grow!!

greengirl on 04/12/2007:
Well done Donkey. You are really getting back on track :0)

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