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view Horn_Of_Plenty bio page
Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Mar 04, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

 Good Morning & Happy Fit Friday Everyone on DD.

I want to say first that I’m feeling much better than I was yesterday morning. I am continuing to be proud of myself in achieving all of my desires thru April 2nd. I am so proud of myself for also standing up to my mom last night on the phone & letting her know that I’m not free on Tuesday or Thursday next week (my gym days) to go for a dress fitting and that since the lady is off Wednesday & Monday I have a dental appt, we are doing it Friday after work.
I feel good that I am putting myself first on Tuesday & Thursday next week – that I’m not letting a workout slide just to get a dress fitting when it can be done the following Friday. Even though my mom is helping me – I am still me & an adult & my opinions and needs are also part of the equation. And this time, I feel good – in standing up for the freedom that I should be allowed. We are all busy & in our free time – well – we have to choose how to spend it. And you all know my goal was to miss no workouts – and the only way to do this is to stick with my schedule right now. She didn’t want to wait all the way to the weekend to get the dress fitting done, so, essentially, the fitting is being done the last day (Friday) before the weekend LOL next weekend. Hey, we did the best we could. It would have been done earlier (Wednesday) if the lady worked that day. Or Monday – but I already have a dental appt booked months ago – cannot be changed.
Despite being busy, we are getting everything done – me, my mom, etc. The wedding will work out. Last week or maybe only a few days (still undecided and undetermined) before the wedding, I’m probably changing my diet slightly to lean down water-wise. Bloating gone. I will research this later & not thinking about it yet.
Snack #1: 100
Breakfast: banana 120 and bar 180, coffee 50, also fish oil 30 cal (pills)
Snack #2: Yogurt coffee flavor 120
Lunch: bag of lettuce with snow pea leaves (chinese & sautéed) and a sorta nasty eggplant soy burger but not the worst! Probably better not microwaved! Around 500 most. Definitely THROWING OUT the last of these burgers! GROSS.
around 3pm ended up feeling very very tired and just horrible. beat....not sure why the sudden change in me after lunch. either way. I had some diet dr pepper which made it worse. boss bought pretzels and I ate the whole 200 cal bag in one shot. did feel better after. the carbs lifted me up. 200.
Snack: strawberries 50, seltzer
big dinner but good: lots of cabbage around 100 at most I guess, popcorn 100 and two big spoons of an Indian prepared rice - wow! so soft and chewy. never in my life....so good! so fresh! 50, some of a miso soup with extra seaweed and tofu around 150, around 3/4 cup of saag spinach 150, def over a cup of okra Indian style 250. total: 800 at most i'm sure.
total today: higher, but fine...so fine. I mentally needed this. I was getting really off my rocker. yup...
2150 total.
7-day weekly average is still very good: 1590/day.  this is really an excellent total. I'm doing really well. I just need to keep going this way for March.
would have been closer to 1500/day...but...maybe it's better this way. I don't know. needed the carbs today and needed the bigger dinner. I feel good now.
 

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 03/04/2016:
It is really getting close to the wedding one more week right J. Have a great weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2016:
One more month ! Thanks....turns out the dress came early...my mom texted me around 4pm! So we ARE GOING THIS SUNDAY! lol...everything always in the air with this.


Awesome50 on 03/04/2016:
Putting yourself first is empowering. Good for you! Enjoy the weekend!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2016:
It felt good to say NO.


cybermom4 on 03/05/2016:
wow - lots of stress but you are handling it very very well. I think sometimes family can be our worst enemy if we are not careful. I understand the feelings that go along with saying 'no'. And you know what - those feelings will pass. Always err on the side of being honest and true and even if others misinterpret your 'no' it is okay. You have to answer for you and what works for you. One thing about mom's is they survive!! They always love you. They may push to get things done their way, but in the end they are just happy to get things 'done'!! This could be a new beginning for the two of you. As she gets older, you will be saying 'no' a lot more. or 'YES' like 'Yes, we are going to the store today b/c I am available today , so get your shoes. LOL

I broke away from my mom very early. I was about 22 and she had left my dad (for good reason) but then she went on a binge...she dated everyone and everything. She got married again. Left him and was living with a man I never met - she was in another state abut 12 hours away. She had basically gone off grid from when I was 16 and left me at my grandmother's (RIP Nonna). Anyway - she called and told me to move to her state. I had a job and friends and there was no way I was going to live with her live in and his kids. I was very polite and said, mom - I really have no plans to move and I am happy you have found happiness. She began to scream at me - who do you think you are? How dare you talk to your mother that way? You are so disrespectful! I just shut my eyes and prayed (stay calm) I said Mom, are you happy with (man)? Yes. does his family like your company? yes - well I am happy where I am too so let's just keep in touch. She seethed.........you don't respect me - who are you? and she began to cry into the phone. I begged her to not hang up and tried to calm her down. Finally she did and I said something like You have a good life but I am not moving, is that okay? Do you understand? She hung up. Then about 5 months later she died while recovering from an infection from surgery. My grandmother called me and told me and I asked if I could go with her to the funeral and she said it would be best if I wait and they will have a service when they return home. I felt terrible - I didn't feel terrible b/c of my decision at all, but I felt terrible that she left this world thinking I was a terrible daughter. I vowed then and there, I'd never let my girls (to the best of my sane ability)ever think that I didn't value them. Oh my girls will joke that I have favorites and that I'm not fair - but I can do things with each of them separately and together and Love every minute!! Do they drive me crazy?? yes!! But my love for who they are is amazing. There are moments in time when I think "my mom would have been very proud to have 4 grandchildren who are so sweet and I really believe she would have spoiled them like crazy" and I like to keep that thought as a happy thought. Relationships are hard in all ways - and you have turned a wonderful corner and I know you will find great growth and love in this new chapter!!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Mar 03, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1497 cal per day = 6day average. VERY GOOD.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thankful Thursday (I could say this from now till the end of time). Thankful that my boss likes me & supports me. I had a rough morning to the point of a fast cry in the car to let out steam. I am very stressed. Called my psych therapist and dr to see if I can get something stronger to help me through this month. I feel like I need to be superhuman to be able to continue with the gym & work like this till the 28st of March. 

I’m going to take off Friday the 25th as well before this wedding. Yes, totally taking off an extra Friday leading into the wedding week. As well as the 28th Monday thru Friday the following week. 6 days OFF. Last time I even took a week was ALMOST SIX MONTHS ago Feels like longer – that’s how I KNOW I am stressed out. So “F” everyone and thing. I’m doing what I NEED TO FOR MY OWN HEALTH! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME EXCEPT ME. THAT’S FREAKING LIFE. IT SOMETIMES IS FRUSTRATING. ANYONE ON HERE THAT’S GETTING STRESSED READING THIS, I’M NOT VERY SORRY. THIS IS MY DIARY AND MY LIFE I’M WRITING ABOUT. I’M HERE FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I COULD USE IT NOW.
I will use my tax returns to pay myself what I would have been paid the 6 days I’m not being paid. Instead of saving that portion of my tax return, I’ll take out around $700 to account for the 6 days unpaid from work. That’s all. Last year, my tax return was around $3,500.- I expect the same this year, if not MORE. I worked less overtime this year, so, I made actually $10,000 less on my W4 FOR 2015 - it shows.
And this following year for 2016 taxes, if I don’t get a raise, I’ll make a full $14,000 less. Talk about frustrations! That’s why I need to not even stress….and realize…hey!, I’m joining the academy. No money problems then. Even after 3 years as a cop, I’ll make close to 60k. so. Yeah.
NYPD. …Money problems SOLVED. So instead of letting the stress fully get to me, I need to breathe, be happy, and proud that my health is improving. YES. IT. IS. !!!!!!!!!!!
6:30AM: Selzter with stevia, 3 cups kombucha 100. Need to buy more kombucha after work before gym…will buy enough to have for next week as well. I’m too busy right now.
10am BREAKFAST – easy today boss had me busy and I thank him even for that – banana 120, more coffee no nothing in it besides sweet and low, bulletproof chocolate bar 180
400 before lunch.thinking like I’m superwoman – the only way I’m going to get by. Hey, I only have THREE weeks till I have a week off.GOOD. whatever. Who gives.
1pm lunch:

400 before lunch.thinking like I’m superwoman – the only way I’m going to get by. Hey, I only have THREE weeks till I have a week off.GOOD. whatever. Who gives. 1pm lunch: lots of sautéed veggies 350 with a bag of shredded lettuce 20 and most of a nasty veggie burger thank gosh only 2 left 80. Total here: 450 at most prob. 850…awesome Snacking before gym: big apple 100, granola bar 100, energy drink 50 at most 250 1100…

total today: 1500 = perfecto.

workout = was amazing.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 03/03/2016:
Dang Girl! Remember you can only live one day at a time. I know you have plans and dream. But remember you can't do any of those things if you kill yourself in the process. Glad your boss is cool about you. You are right though, regardless of how you work, and if you are there or not, that place will survive. I learned in my life, no one is indispensable! Try to enjoy the rest of your day. Go beat the hell out of a bag at the gym to help with your frustration.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/03/2016:
Thank you for understanding me to the "T." Everything you said, I feel & that is what the gym does for me. Exactly.


Awesome50 on 03/03/2016:
Don't apologize for what you are writing. We're here to listen. Hope your day gets better!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/03/2016:
Thanks Awesome :) thanks for lending me your ear & support. Sending you some support as well...must get back to my commenting tomorrow evening !


hollybelle on 03/03/2016:
You are right - just breathe. You have worked this out - now just rest easy in the knowledge that you got this. A wedding, no matter how joyous an occasion is stressful on family. Hang in there HOP!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/04/2016:
Thanks Holly...thanks for the advice, support, and tips regarding weddings & family.


grannyannie on 03/04/2016:
Hang in there. You'll do fine. Don't stress yourself. I know easier said than done. But you can do it.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/05/2016:
Thank you Annie xoxo


Donkey on 03/05/2016:
I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to have the time to post, but I read this earlier and wanted to say that I support your goals for yourself 110%! I feel like I could have written this -- or maybe more like, I would have wanted to write this for myself too. You go get 'em! Don't let anything stop you. This is your time.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/05/2016:
Thank you so much for your support and for thinking of me enough to comment back on this entry. It's true that I could use everyone's support here. I am forever thankful for this site as a place to vent and hear other's views of both our situations as well as yours - and everyone's views of the world. DD is a special place and I am forever thankful for people like you that I have met here & even get to have a connection with on other media support sites like FB. I'm so thankful to have you as a friend J. You have motivated me just now to keep going. Stay strong. xoxo



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Mar 02, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Working It Wednesday….ohhh, how I miss that lady on here! Are you still here, WorkingIt?

6:30am: Kombucha 70, Aminos 30
8:30am: coffee 50, banana & fish oil 130, yogurt 100: 280
Snack: Bulletproof high fat & moderate protein bar 200 at most
1pm Healthy lunch: lettuce 10, veggies steamed with a little sauce 150 I think (gotta check the frozen package..), white meat chicken ½ breast with some skin 200 or so. Total here: around 350.
snacking before dinner: one candy 20 on drive home, strawberries 50, and some veggies 30. around 100
bigger dinner: sautéed jumbo shrimp and scallops...and veggies...in sauce. filling. around 550 at most.
around 1600 at most.
5-day total avg: 1496/day! awesome.
weight is not coming off quickly. ... wedding in just UNDER one month! 4/2! wahoo!
i'm still averaging between 117-118 most days on scale...only after a very light cal evening, low volume, do I see 116 on the scale.
ohhh, how the rumors go around in an office. ... ugh ugh ugh. time to talk less, work more.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 03/02/2016:
Have a great day J.


grannyannie on 03/03/2016:
Looks like you've been doing well.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Mar 01, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Totally Tuesday!

6:30am: kombucha new flavor of carrot/ginger/orange...was very nice! 70, some seltzer with stevia leftover sitting out from the night before lol
8:30am: coffee yogurt 120, banana 120, oil pill 10
9:30am coffee 50 , maybe a bar later 200 at most=250
1pm Nice Healthy Lunch: leftover from last week sautéed snow pea leaves, microwaved lettuce, eggplant veggie burger with some protein in it around 400 total
Before gym: strawberries 100, caffeine 40, bar 100.
After gym: oatmeal raisin high carb high protein cookie 400
around 1650. good week for me, this first week of March.
4-day average: 1470/day. very good.
Life is VERY busy right now. I even forgot a water today so bought an expensive one from the vending machine. Yesterday I forgot to bring any protein for lunch. Being forgetful bc I have a lot going on right now. but overall, life is ok.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 03/01/2016:
We all need to slow down and enjoy the ride. Have a great day, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/01/2016:
GREAT advice OR, GREAT advice :)


Awesome50 on 03/01/2016:
Have a good day ...

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/01/2016:
you too!


puddles on 03/01/2016:
take a breath and take time to smell the rose J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/01/2016:
I will...and I am. It's just a very busy last month before the wedding.


cybermom4 on 03/01/2016:
HOP - you are only 1 lb away from your goal!!!! You are awesome!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/01/2016:
It does fluctuate a little...day to day :) but yeah, i'm happy.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Feb 29, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Approx 1410 - 3-day average nice!

Moods Monday (not really moody, just have my usual moods!)

6:00am: kombucha , also seltzer with aminos 100.
8:30am: coffee, banana: 200.
10:30am / 11am: bar 220
520…
1pm lunch: forgot my meat I just realized, darn..maybe order with my boss not sure now…darn!! I only brought vegetables. Ugh…actually, might be ok, I’m leaving early at 3:30 for a dr appt that is an hour away. Ended up getting chicken breast deli meat. .33lb from coworker who bought it for me since I didn’t go out for lunch. averaging it at 250 cal at most…plus vegetables that were gross and full of grease on my microwaved lettuce…at most 250. Total around 500 I think.
Around 1050 so far, good, probably less though.
 
 

Evening: Apple, seltzer with stevia, strawberries 100, yogurt 100, seltzer with stevia. 350 at most. 1400 yay. 20 min walk.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 02/29/2016:
Have a great day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/01/2016:
Thank you F! :)


hollybelle on 02/29/2016:
Hope the rest of your day went well!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/01/2016:
It was, real busy!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Feb 28, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

So Miami - cancelled (i'm ok with this!)

Justin Beiber - sold out, and the resale tickets are WAY to jacked up in price. Oh well...i'll have to find other things to do this summer (AND CHEAPER!) I am upset we couldn't get tickets because it was ME that really wanted to do this activity. but, i'll save $200. You see though, sometimes it's money well-spend when you are really excited about & enjoy....i'll find other things.

______________________________________________________

2 day avg- 1410/day!

So Miami. Now the trip is iffy in my mind. After doing research with my friend Jen...I know it will cost us each over $1,000.- for the weekend based on what we wanted. 3 nights. at a 4 star hotel. It can be MUCH cheaper if we stay in a crap hotel which I may just go along with...but...at first she had asked me to go mid-april around the 15th but then she changed the date to 2nd weekend of April which is right after the wedding, which I don't like very much at all. I'm busy still dealing with wedding sh*t and hardly have time for anything else. Also, I am taking days off before the wedding & makes NO SENSE to go away right after it...I'm thinking that I was being too indulgent wanting to go...and based on the research, I am not so sure I do. As for Justin Beiber - yes - I want to go even if $200 a ticket, way cheaper than this Miami trip. it's just way too much money to spend partying. It makes me sick thinking about it - but also upsetting i'm not doing anything....but I can do fun things AROUND here. so...I just need to do more....HERE. I just can't throw my money away that I SHOULD BE SAVING. What's the purpose of not being able to save & then blowing my tax refund on a trip....can't do it.

And the other half is that i'll be using vacation days right after taking days off at end of March (without pay since I used them up & they start again in April) before the wedding. Just seems NOT RIGHT to take more time off. Can't do it.

8am: Kombucha 60. (2 cups)

9:00am: big protein pancake: oats 80, egg whites 90, chocolate vegan protein powder 90, stevia, sf jelly 30, chocolate peanut butter 100. total here: 390.

 snacking: drink 40, granola bar 100.

3pm: late lunch / early dinner: healthy. 1/2 chicken breast with skin 200 & brussel sprouts in butter sauce 150. good. 350.

gym after...may read a little before gym too :)

Plans today got TOTALLY SWITCHED AROUND. its ok. my mom texted me at 8am that I should make an appointment to have a dress fitting so I met here there at 12:15. Turns out the dress was the WRONG size. so they ordered a size smaller and I will need to go back NEXT week to try it on....again....for a fitting with the right size dress. it's good we went today...!

after I went for the fitting, I drove home. quickly picked up a chicken & just a few small groceries. didn't want to spend a lot this week & i'm not :)

950.

After workout protein cookie high carbs and protein. 400 Total today - 1400 I'll say. Freaking excellent.

___________________________________________________________

Also, I had another eye-opening experience into other people's lives yesterday when I went over my friend's house in Ozone Park and saw how she lives (and learned she HAS A DAUGHTER! that I didn't know previously about...although I've been friends with Jen for over 2 years at work...)...I may write more about it later. But she was 16 when she had her daughter. Now she's 28, her daughter is 11. Her mom (daugher's grandma) is officially the guardian. They all live together, along with many other people renting rooms in the house.

It's too fresh in my mind to write now to really find the right words. Jen is still my friend & I think the same of her. But...in order to be a cop in NYPD, I am doing exactly what I need & seeing things that are going to help me. help me see the world as it really is...which is far from the Long Island, NY bubble I grew up in. The world is a tough, tough place.

Sorry if I offended anyone here.

 

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!


Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Feb 27, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

10pm Evening Edit:

I am thankful for all my parents have given me. that's all :)

Late Lunch: TONS of veggies with some dressing 200?, an egg 100, avocado 200. Total here at most 500.

Light Dinner (may have popcorn): yogurt 100, bar, 220, veggies 100. 420.

Total so far today: 1270. not really satisfied though...I think popcorn. 150

total: 1420. very good!

_______________________________________

Happy Saturday Morning!

10am: kombucha 70

Noon light snacking: couple fat free mouse yogurts 200, strawberries 50., some of a caffeine drink 30.

350...must get a move on...gotta go pick my friend up in 10 min I gotta leave...and quickly dry my hair LOL

Man, did I sleep well :) I could even sleep more, but need to get up. I think I slept at least 10 hours. Yes, took a strong sleeping pill before bed. Lately, with all the gym training i'm doing & all, it seems I am needing the extra sleep.  I'm trying not to take the pills every night, but a majority of nights I do. The sleeping pills have been a GREAT help this past week - yes, I do struggle a little feeling tired at work in the morning - but, I felt far better come Friday. I still had some energy left in me. This is majorly important right now!

Going to drop of a few clothes at dry cleaners this morning. Next, i'll be picking up my friend Jen at 1pm & we're going to a pawn shop to check the price of some jewelry. After that, she's coming back to my place so that we can plan our Miami weekend trip for mid-April & also so we can buy Justin Beiber tickets for summer! Yay. This is the first weekend i'm doing things that don't include staying home bc of a storm or going to my parents for wedding stuff. First weekend in around 2 months that i'm doing something different and with a friend. Awesome.

Later on, based on how successful we are with the trip planning, we're going out for drinks & dinner either close by or if we plan the trip faster, out to a mall to a Japanese Hibachi restaurant.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 02/27/2016:
Enjoy your weekend,HOP! Trip planning is fun! Going on the trip - even better!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/27/2016:
Thank you H...I haven't been on a real trip in...YEARS....literally last time I went on a real "trip" besides an overnight rafting trip in summer for one night last summer, was a cruise I went on all the way back in 2012! happy for this fun, weekend adventure and it might actually be the weekend right after my sister's wedding! wowzers.


innerpeace on 02/27/2016:
Love, love love Justin Bieber! I had planned on taking the little girl but because of the night it falls on I didn't want to risk getting her tickets and then her mom not letting her go! Enjoy your evening, its been a long time since you've relaxed and had a good time.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/27/2016:
Her mom has got to let her go! Justin Beiber has such great music...and if you are buying tickets, man - they aren't exactly cheap...I think little girl would LOVE it.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Feb 26, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Freaky Friday !

 I can’t wait to get my freak on!!!...which actually just means relaxing & having a great time on Saturday night with my friend Jen drinks before Dinner then Dinner…we also are planning our Miami weekend trip (4/15/16) this weekend!
6:30am: kombucha 2 cups 70, seltzer (2 cups) with fruit punch flavored amino acids 30. 100 total.
8:30am at work: coffee 50
10am: banana 150.
11am: Oh Yeah! – my new fave – bar. White Chocolate Raspberry.210.
500… Nice &
1pm Lunch: lettuce (20) that I’ll warm in microwave, with heavily sautéed peppers & onions, and leftover large scallops as well 100 from home. Total around 550?.
1050...
5pm snacking on way home / errands: chocolate 70, 2 crackers 30. 100. and a sf cola 0.
7pm dinner: kale salad around 150?, other veggies 50, bag of shredded lettuce in microwave 20, with more sautéed peppers and onions 200?, dessert of a mousse yogurt 100, seltzer with stevia during night :)
 

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 02/26/2016:
Yes, Miami.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/26/2016:
yes...Mid April :) South Beach to PARTAYYYYY!


OhioRaven on 02/26/2016:
Have a Healthy Freakin' Day.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Feb 25, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

 Thirsty Thursday  (thinking about the alcoholic beverage (1 or 2!) I’ll be having Saturday night when I go out with my friend Jen before dinner!)

6:30am: kombucha 2 cups 70, seltzer (2 cups) with fruit punch flavored amino acids 30. 100 total.
8:30am at work: chocolate sunflower butter bar 150, coffee 50 200.
10:30am / 11am: 400 if I have the oatmeal which I need to have bc it’s healthy with the banana, peanut butter, and oatmeal  / coconut mix.
700 – fine. Need to try to be healthier today.
1pm Lunch: lettuce (not counting) that I’ll warm in microwave, with leftover pea leaves (a Chinese item which is the leaves of the snow pea plant) sautéed 300?, and chick peas 100. Total around 400.
1100.
Before gym: caffeine 40, bar 130, large apple 100: around 350.
1400.
After gym: maybe the bar that has low sugars 250 And maybe aminos. 20.
1720.

1700 today. Workout was amazing. Everything is good.

1860 6-day average very nice.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 02/25/2016:
Have a great day J.


hollybelle on 02/26/2016:
Yes, HOP, I have to STOP purchasing foods that are counter productive! For me it's sweets and not so much chips and stuff. If it's not around it's no problem. I can't believe what I have been buying and what I have been eating! Stuff I would never have eaten in the past has become routine. I can turn it around though. I am not feeling so powerless now.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/26/2016:
Yeah, I was in a BAD chip habit & thinking "oh, it's just some healthy fat & carbs"...just chips. yeah, what a waste.

...the body doesn't need the chips despite the crazy phase I was in for MANY months buying them. dumb move for me. it's so much better without them in my apt. I am eating healthier again - and even I am reviewing what i'm buying & making it EVEN EASIER to make good choices at home with less crap around to choose from!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Feb 24, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Around 1800 today at most. 1890 5-day average.

15 min stairclimbing in apt. Bc it's been raining and I hadn't exercised at all doing any walking and was getting antsy.

Wicked Wednesday.  :)

Been taking sleeping pills regularly to go to sleep & yes I am sleeping more since Sunday night. But I am not sure on the quality & I am also sorta waking up tired because sleeping pills in general require like 12 hours of rest /not being fully awake so that’s why I try to take them 12 hours before I need to wake up. Trust me, I need the pills right now because they are helping me sleep, rest & not get sick again this winter. I will try to stop with them when I can but this week, I’m focusing on my rest. Also, sleeping pills seem to have a “downer” effect on me. Can anyone relate? Is it normal for sleeping pills to depress a person? They make me feel very tired. Actually tonight, I may not take them as I feel pretty exhausted right now at 9:11am at work. Maybe best to take a night or so off…uh huh…it’s like by taking them a few nights in a row, they have a cumulative effect on my body…and I end up getting really tired in the daytime at work despite a TON of sleep…
6am at home: Kombucha 70.
8:30-10:30: coffee with milk 50, bar 150
10:30 or 11am: oatmeal mix that actually has coconut in it with ½ cup almond milk 180, banana 120, whipped peanut butter 100: 400. Bar 130.
400.
1pm Lunch healthy: dark meat chicken with skin (thigh & drumstick from a small rotisserie I have in my fridge to last me the week), maybe some shredded lettuce I have at work that I’d heat up & put in the soup as added volume & fiber, and tomato broth based vegetable soup with tons of veggies, lil potato, cabbage & other veggies (2 cups soup). For the chicken alone, it’s around 500 cals. And around 150 for the soup part. Up to 650. I may not eat all the chicken obviously, will decide later.
Lately I think I’m not having enough protein at all because my breakfasts are mostly oatmeal, drinks in the morning are carbs, and last couple weeks I was having a lot of low protein tofu (small amounts and only like 7g per serving is not much…) and lots of granola bars & similar items before gym…need to up the quality of protein I eat I am thinking, especially as I lift weights…
Total so far: 1050 if I eat all the chicken. Less if I don’t. either way, it’s healthy.
4:30pm/5pm ride home: strawberries 50
1100....probably less chicken at lunch? cannot eat much lower this week, relaxing with calories right now. i'm trying to de-stress my body..
Planning on takeout chinese tonight – shrimp & scallops with vegetables in a light sauce. Maybe with added shirataki noodles.
_________________________________________________________________
Whipped peanut butter:  The JIF brand - you can eat a slightly bigger volume bc it’s whipped! – this stuff is cool. I was buying the flavored  varieties like caramel and chocolate but plan to only buy the original plain peanut butter flavor when I use up the chocolate pb & caramel pb bc the flavors have a little added sugar and less protein and are not that great really. Turns out they have slightly high sugar for my liking & I realize I like the plain whipped better…but not enough to throw the flavored pb’s out.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 02/25/2016:
I know what you mean about the sleeping pills- they can really ruin the day. Agree- take a night off.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/25/2016:
I ended taking a more natural one (melatonin from the vitamin isle)...which I am glad I did despite my preference not to...LOL...because we had a very loud storm & I would have been up all night...just woke up 2x & was so tired it was pretty easy to fall back to sleep despite the loud noise....but sleeping pills...oh boy.



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