- Tuesday Dec 23, 2014
Today went by fast, really fast :)
Calories till end of workday: healthy 1250.
snack / dinner at home: 60 in the drink...followed by a boatload of leftover cooked kale, bok choy and broccoli and sesame oil and some teriyaki sauce. I did a nice job this time! it was a ton, maybe around 300 cal at most...then lots of grape tomatoes...100?, then some kind of chips made with coconut and parsnip that I found today after a stop at a natural food store on the way home from work! 120, and lastly, kombucha 60. total: around 650 or so. all healthy and tasty.
total: around 1900, perfect. it would be perfect if most workdays I could eat this amount of calories. I don't think i'd gain weight at this amount, especially if I start to put some exercise in.
clothes tight, so will be working on not eating much Thursday thru Saturday. out to dinner that night, so planning on low calories throughout day. and more normal on Sunday...maybe with exercise, but not pushing it. exercise is not fully part of my routine yet.
tomorrow I am planning on the gym after work :) for a short time. because I don't think I wanna wake up for it...maybe i'll change my mind!
- Monday Dec 22, 2014
After work Friday, I had bad sex. hadn't had any in months and months, actually..not since either last spring or January I think? I think it's mostly because my legs are to blame & I am staying home much, much more and not as amped to go out and party! lol, not that I really ever partied. all in all, i'm a good girl. but I don't really date...and when I was a lil younger, still in my 20's, i'd say it was reasonable to want to have a different sorta experience time to time....a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do sometimes. especially if she isn't a dater or relationship type of person!
Anyways, sex for the sake of sex is getting old and worse every time....I don't think I can let myself do it EVER again. all because a man has a nice looking face doesn't mean it will feel good to give yourself over to him, so he can satisfy himself as forcefully as possible, no pleasure or emotion on my part accounted for. I think this was the last time for me. I know I am going to have far less urges down the road to actually let my fantasies with guys to play out. men in my life that I see doing my routine. either work or gym (when I was a regular), etc.
I am going to not only be more picky, but going to consider my own feelings and value more. because this one sucked. today at work, this guy did say hi to me (you could tell he was actually nervous to do so - he was probably (haha maybe!) thinking I might be upset or something or he didn't know what to expect. from me...my public reaction) but it was normal, as I am always am with him at work.
he also said a joke to me on his way out of the office. so I guess all is good between us. that's good. we are adults and we did say we would be good to each other after the fact....and we are. but sex for the sake of sex, emotionless, is harsh and horrible.
a relationship is not possible with this guy for a variety of reasons. but, just so you know, we texted and had a "work relationship" for a few years now....sex only this one time, after at least 2-3 years of texting and joking around with each other at work.
Being at work, today went much better eating-wise. I started the day off with something healthy, a whole wheat English muffin with some butter, a fried egg, and lox. I made it at home before going to the gym for around 25min before work this morning! I like doing this, and I am going to try to keep it up as long as my legs continue to show progress. Only problem is that I do feel more of an energy crash at work midmorning when I go to the gym before work. I think I may need to eat more carbs. we'll see, i'll experiment.
Calories thru the end of the day before dinner: 1300.
BIG dinner: cabbage slaws with some vinegar / dressing: at least 300...then cooked veggies around 200?, a roasted chicken thigh (sorta on the small side) 200 no skin, and cooked cranberries 100....oh....AND a greek yogurt. was hungry. now i'm satisfied. around 950, all healthy. just generous in assortment and portions of veggies. without extra veggies, calories would be lower lol. everything else is sorta in proportion here.
total: perfect, 2250, decent and maybe I did burn close to it with the weights workout lol? probably not.
workout in AM:
1. 15 min upper arm cardio machine (for arms, not legs)
2. pushups 5-6 sets of 10-20 reps depending how far along I was...
3. assisted pull machine (I forgot the real name of it, will have to take a look next time). that's all there was time for....3 sets here, around 10 reps each.
then I left and ate breakfast in my car on the way to work....I felt good at work during the 1st half the morning but then I started to feel miserable...and did eat extra carbs...and it didn't really work....maybe protein is the way to go then!?
- Sunday Dec 21, 2014
Having a very hard time sticking to my plans.
I didn't fast today and had at least around 2,000 cal. all at one sitting.
I have gained weight and I am going to be very sorry I binged so much when nothing fits. Not sure what my problem is lately, but eating isn't helping me with anything. probably bc I was running around too much this morning and when I got home at 1:30pm I gave in.
I am giving myself an ultimate goal of fasting Christmas (I have off, but don't celebrate) thru day after Christmas. If I can do this, i'll burn off at least 3,000 cal. right now I am up 6,000 cal! yeah, that many cals. If I had fasted today, it would have been 4000. not sure what I am doing..
well, in order to knock off 6,000 cal, I need about 3-4 days of fasting...
on the days off during Christmas, I can try again....this coming Thursday, Friday, Saturday (going out to eat with friends), sunday....I can eat relatively little amounts and totally make up for this horrible binge cycle...and then I can eat NORMALLY for the long New Years weekend...but I AM going to have to sacrifice eating somewhere or the weight is going to start to stick....
just how to sacrifice...I think Christmas, Friday after, and Sunday....that would be a good sacrifice. followed by normal eating Mon/Tues/Wed and then a long weekend maybe also to eat less.
if I did this...I could start the New Year off well. otherwise, lots of work to do...
- Saturday Dec 20, 2014
7:30 Breakfast 550 pumpkin with cinnamon and stevia 50, 3 tablespoons pb 300on 2 wrap100
10:30 Snack: 700 yogurt with cinnamon, stevia, flax, 3 vitamin chews, almost 4 servings chips
1250....almonds 200, nut butter 300, hot pocket 250
2000 so far.
Fruit cooked strawberries with stevia and a grapefruit... feeling like I forgot to list something? 100. Yup, the rice with butter. 260.
2360. And an orange. 2450. Sounds good to me!
and out to dinner tonight...planning to indulge
Dinner was around 2000 cal. Huge burger with cheese, buttered bun, fries, homemade chips, salad and dressing,bread dipped in oil, fried shrimp.
I was over my calories before this weekend started by around 3500 and now I am over calories by around 4000. I need two whole days of fasting, at least. Doing really bad with eating these days. Really what I need is probably exercise....in the new year I plan to go back to it much more.
- Friday Dec 19, 2014
Calories thru lunch 1250.
Dinner: fish and some sautéed spinach 250 or so, was a small amount. Then big dessert 2 tbsp nut butter 200, pumpkin 50 at most, tofu 100, chia seed pudding 150...500...followed up with more wrap and nut butter 350 more! Total here: 1100 eesh.
Total: 2350 decent....may even choose to eat a lil more.
Exercise some push-ups and arm upper body cycling.
Guessing around 500 over this week.
And overall, I need to cut down 1 lb.
So by fasting only 1 dAy, I can eliminate around 1/2 pound but no more. Gonna eat real light tomorrow and fasting all day Sunday till Monday morning.
- Thursday Dec 18, 2014
Hey. I planned to exercise but somehow I ended up working late again. Almost 2 full hours extra.
Calories are around 2300-2350 bc I decided to have some fudgy dessert. Worth it. I did do abs this morning. Now reading before bed soon. Exhausted since I didn't sleep well last night.
I have been having more salt and I think it helps me feel better.
- Wednesday Dec 17, 2014
100 cal turmeric drink with lemon, almond milk and stevia. I made it. Also half cup canned pumpkin with cinnamon and stevia. 100
Breakfast: English muffin 100 with butter 50, egg 100, lox 50. 300. Coffee? 50
Snack protein bar 200
Lunch healthier kind of chip and spicy tomato juice 200, eng muffin 100 with veggie burger 120. 420. And an orange.
Snack yogurt 100 fat free Greek.
1250...plus also some candy so 1300. Then driving to give my gift to my favorite, cute physical therapist. I have a crush on him and we do text sometimes. He's single and 11yrs older but looks more like my age, 32. Like I said, he's sweet and I haven't seen him in around 2.5 months.
I haven't set my computer up yet....but my gift to my pt was a major success. He kissed me on the cheek twice. When I arrived and when I left :) he loved the seahorse gift I got him. I got the gift bc he has them as pets and it is something special and warm that was meant only for him. I will write the whole story on the weekend, since I got home late tonight after 9pm. Worked 12 hours at my desk job. And got to him - my PT - after 8. They are open late.
Ate a ton of sautéed veggies just now a lil after 9 so I could take the anti inflammatory.400? Bit too much oil.
Total 1700, great. No exercise, abs tomorrow morning.
- Tuesday Dec 16, 2014
Tonight I have work and a union meeting after. Glad I not exercising in full swing. Meeting ends usually around 6:30-7 so then I can come home and relax before bed. Last Night I met up with my dad who was being overally generous and I can't thank him enough. He bought me a laptop computer for the holidays. Happy Chanukah if anyone here celebrates, tonight is the first night. My laptop got a virus and wasn't working right for a few months, so I did need a new one :) couldn't even get on the web before! Iftar dad didn't get me one, I would wait probably 3-6 months or more before getting one myself. This is great!
Early breakfast: banana 120, pumpkin with stevia and cinnamon 50, cottage cheese 90 - so around 250.
Later breakfast: avocado 80, wrap 100, veggie burger 70: 250
Snack protein bar: 220
Lunch: quarter avocado 80, wrap 100, veggie burger 70, tomato juice 70, chips 130: 450.
Snack: Greek yogurt 150....but maybe skipping and instead having a hot dog at the meeting, haven't decided!
They had food at the meeting. Nothing healthy. Huge fried chicken subs and also some salad with dressing. And a chocolate. I don't think more than 700? Maybe?
- Monday Dec 15, 2014
2100, no exercise, pretty healthy and balanced choices.
- Sunday Dec 14, 2014
Fasted till 4:30. 2 small protein bars 300, bAnana 100, avocado on extra large English muffin 350. Total 750. Once again broke down and couldn't fast the whole day. Maybe I am better off fasting till dinner, like I did today. Now taking my anti ibflammatory medicine that I skipped this morning.
Also yesterday and today calories over 2000: yesterday 4100 plus today 750 = 4850. Excess of 850 cals. Combined with around 1900 excess last week = 2750 = too much. Planning to start getting rid of the 2750 thru days of intermittent fasting next week and week after.
Shiat!!! Plus some leftover fried rice and chicken I was saving for tomorrow. Maybe around 350 more??
So....around 3100 cals excess. Almost a pound. Will have to sorta watch calories closer this week and then on the weekend I can try to gain some kinda deduction and work to dwindle this high # down.
At least I am now full and content and feeling like I want to go to sleep and it's only 5:10pm. Once January hits I need to look hopefully more to exercise and less to intermittent fasting.