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Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Mar 24, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 115.0

Wednesday Cals: only 1250, no breakfast or snacks in AM due to sitting in a meeting = great change of pace! perfect for my wedding prep right now!

5-day cal average per day: 1520 per day = excellent.

___________________________________________________________

Thursday Cals:

total today 1550. 

6-day average: 1525 per day, excellent. 

It's already Thursday Morning...I was busy yesterday enough not to write an entry...

But also, we had a VERY BIG and IMPORTANT and also SERIOUS meeting at work yesterday. Everyone at my company will be soon trained thru this 2.5 hour COMPLIANCE meeting. So, no more logging onto DD while at work :(. I probably would NOT get in a big trouble, but it's not worth it. So now, if I were to log in, it would be thru my cell phone and obviously not as good for commenting on your diaries which i'd probably just do at home & i'll prob resort to writing down my calculations on a desktop word program & deleting every day what I write but actually deleting every word....yeah. and also by using my post-it notes. I've been using post-its already multiple years while at this job to keep track of what i'm eating, especially if it's different or unplanned from what I thought it would be yadda yadda yadda....

sucks that there's so many rules at work for computer use because let me tell you: sitting in front of a computer for 8 hrs is a killer. and doing mind-numbing work for 8hrs is a killer!

Oh! and guess what!? there's a new rule at my company - we aren't allowed to be paid OT!!!!!!!!! Therefore, I don't have to work it anymore!!!!!!!!!!! wahooo!!!!!!!!!!! My boss did something as$hole-ish: he had me work an hour OT on Tuesday before I knew this rule & then said to me: "Jackie, you won't get rich off an hour anyway." !!! don't worry, this will NOT happen again & I wasn't angry because Monday I did leave early for Dr so it's like I was making up time for Monday. ....

Lots of stress at my company and lots of rules. Things are changing for the worse. It makes me want to run out of there as fast as possible. I will really work on preparing myself for the NYPD starting with preparing in May. (April is a rest month & break for me - I need it).

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

cybermom4 on 03/24/2016:
wow lots of changes..My work is having an overhaul too. One thing that is constant = change. I'm trying not to let it stress me out at all. In fact, I am really trying to stay calm and just go with the flow. We are going to be piloting new programs and giving training and well, it is just a lot. If I think about it too much I say " where are the good ol days when we just did ....." But I need my job so I am going to be positive. We have lots and lots of young people joining the company and we get a contract every year. The last thing I need is to get a note saying 'your services are no longer needed' instead of a contract. I don't know what I would do. I have been with the company 10 years now (well start 10 in Sept) and I need another 14 to retire. I guess if they offered me a retirement package of some sort????? Doubtful - but who knows. Funny, thinking of retirement seems far fetched. Anyway - I'm rambling.... Try to relax and know your future looks bright - Go NYPD!!!!


hollybelle on 03/24/2016:
I understand about the rules. I work in Employee Benefits and very closely with HR. There are many new federal rules that put employers at risk for fines surrounding OT or hours worked on the clock and about cybersecurity. Change is everywhere. I hope to be out of my job soon - but want it on my own terms - around June this year. We'll see. I still want to work but part-time-after I take some time off.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/25/2016:
Yes. In the only 5 yrs I've worked at this job, I've seen changes that could happen over 50 yrs in other companies. It is sad. Not an improvement but a destruction. I don't like it...

but the meeting, although unfortunate and nasty really, was good for me. It taught me life lessons of using MORE common sense and better judgement going forward in life & in whatever career choice I make.


thinkpositive on 03/24/2016:
Work stress! Seems that many companies are changing rules. More reason to change jobs.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/25/2016:
Yes, we live in an age where nothing is private anymore and everything we do is scrutinized and penalized and we are punished for. It's very sad. extremely sad. To go back to times when life was simpler...before all of us on here were born. But then other parts of life must have been tough. I guess life's a give & take... but I do think privacy has become nonexistent to most of us. So sad.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Mar 22, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 115.0

4-day avg: 1587 per day. This is very good.

dinner: lots of sautéed bean sprouts around 100? beef jerky yeah been eating this a lot around 110, some chips ...160 total dinner I'll just say 400.

Total today around 1500, excellent.

________________________________________________________

With hair blow-dried (not wet and heavy) and pooped everything out after 3 cups kombucha, sorry tmi, somewhere 115point something on my mechanical scale!!! I did it!!!!!! Nailed it!!! And by wedding it will stay 115 or less by then yes did it nailed It :) so proud of myself!!!!

So what are my goals for the next week and a half? Keep cals low. Find a hairpiece for my hair at wedding, confirm with style team that they can do my hair with it..

Keep cals LOW...lol, needed to repeat this.

One last dress fitting with adjustments if I want to...I don't care what they say! prob not needing to make any more changes to the dress - I hope I don't have to, actually.

AND....then....

...keeping to my new calorie levels after wedding but a break when partying in AC...the following Friday after the wedding on 4/2 lol....crazy!? can't believe I told my friend yes to going that weekend! LOL should be fun! and going to indulge in drinking!

...then....full swing gear relax in April

....then thinking and acting towards getting myself into the Academy and maybe in January 2017  instead of July  2017. But if July, it's not a big deal in the least....but January would be better to get out of this job sooner rather than later...only if I am physical ready. And if i'm not physically ready in January 2017, I'll be more than ready come July.

I tend to push myself too hard past my limit, so i'll need to hold back if anything. Upper body training will be REDUCED no matter what, and lower body will focus on strengthening. Not too much focus will be spend on cardio still.

I plan to write a lot about the NYPD and my goals in my entries starting prob in May i'll start writing more about it. to keep my focus up. There's no stopping now, I'm on my way! Just let's get this wedding out of the way!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 03/22/2016:
Great job on obtaining this goal. You are so inspirational! You deserve everything you get. Enjoy your day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
awww, thank you so much....seeing the scale do that....gave me the happiest feeling ever this morning!


OhioRaven on 03/22/2016:
Proud of you HP ! StyleTeam ? Is that really a thing ? Did you ever watch Dragnet As a kid ? Have a Great Day, You deserve it.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
LOL...maybe not a team just a couple folks? people working at the hotel :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
no never watched...?


grannyannie on 03/22/2016:
Congrats!!!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
TY Annie :)


hollybelle on 03/22/2016:
Woo-hoo!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
TY Holly :) !!!


grannyannie on 03/23/2016:
Looking skinny!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/24/2016:
kisses to you! thank you annie. I'll take the compliment.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Mar 21, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Majestic Monday:  

1616 3-day avg

I am very high on life & very focused on gearing up for my sister’s wedding. Feeling sure of myself, strong, focused and determined!

Food:
Home: kombucha 130 and aminos.
Work: very small banana 100, bar 150 (only counting what I could finish….i am SO IN WEDDING MODE RIGHT NOW, life is GREAT). 250
Snacking before lunch: prob coffee with milk 80, but not much & bar 170 or so.  230. 80
Lunch: change of plans: egg white omelette with veggies 200 most and lots of veggies on side 150 most, maybe avocado….toast with butter but not big slices 150-200  550 absolute MOST.
coming home from dr: i'll have fruit and flavored water 100
Dinner: TBD...do brussel sprouts really have 80 calories per cup!? that's too much, gotta google this again...anyways, if they do, I had around 300 cals of them, 100 in turkey jerky, and 100 in chips. and fish oil pills, not gonna count that.
around 1600, more than I wanted, but still low...gotta look up the Brussels again. but at least 1600 might be an overestimate by as much as 100 cals. :)
___________________________________________________________________
 
OMG Happy Monday! Last Monday till my week off. So happy! I did great. And almost thru my cold! Feeling so happy. Leaving work early today to go to my psychologist / therapist. Gonna speak to them about how I can continue to feel good thru this week & next and the wedding AND especially after everything's done & when I have to go back to work when I sense I may have a hard time. I am happy I chose to take a week off, knowing it will do me some good. I'll be busy enough, prepping for wedding - going to probably my last dress fitting. And just sleeping in I would think! LOL. and maybe hairdresser to ask about getting extensions...LOL. I have thin hair, not a lot of it, I want to wear it up, would look nice with more hair...we'll see. prob not gonna do it. 
Having the week off will make exercise easier to fit in, too.  It will make everything more manageable & not rushed. And, after my last bout of time off that ended mid-October, this week off comes almost at the 6-month mark from then. I feel it's well-deserved! More like 5.5 months. PRETTY GOOD job to me, especially considering the last time I took off, it was due to being so stressed that it caused me a lot of trouble. i'm not going into it, but if you look at my entries from mid-September thru mid October, you'd be able to read just how bad I was feeling. hope to NEVER experience that emotional / mental pain ever again - it was very, very scary.
So, all in all, I'm proud of myself & feeling great. Happy about putting in the work all winter & now going to show it off at her wedding. I did great. I'm proud of myself. Still around 117lbs, sometimes 116. I'll be 115 by the wedding no doubt, I'd like to say right now.
Wishing everyone a wonderful day.  I am here to say & prove to you and myself one thing: ANYTHING you want for yourself is POSSIBLE. You only need to stick with your goals, never give up.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/21/2016:
What is the wedding countdown? You're doing really well.

horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2016:
Rehearsal dinner 4/1 and wedding 4/2!


grannyannie on 03/21/2016:
Not long!


hollybelle on 03/21/2016:
I have to say - I've never "seen" you quite like this - so excited. I am happy for you. About the hair - they can do all kinds of things with hair pieces and stuff to make it look like you have more hair and it's really realistic looking. Talk to a hairdresser if you have your heart set on wearing it up and having a special "do". It's often less expensive it you go by the "hair" yourself. Most of it clips in and no one would guess.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/21/2016:
yes, went to a hairdresser today and he told me what block I should drive to in order to pick up a hairpiece...thank you...he said exact same thing as you. The extensions on his desk - last 1yr and were $900 whoa! he said to just go & pick up a hairpiece :)


marshallsaya on 03/21/2016:
It sounds like you are feeling quite happy :) I am so happy for you and excited for your sister. Your food choices are so good.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/21/2016:
Thank you :)


hollybelle on 03/21/2016:
Cool! I have extremely short hair - have for 30 years - don't like to mess with it - but daughter is the queen of hair and beauty products - so I learned some stuff! Be sure to post pictures!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/22/2016:
I will start thinking about this more when I am off from work next week...i'll make sure to do what I have to in order to sort out the problem hopefully! :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Mar 20, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

8:30am 100 cal

10:30am banana 120

11:30am bar 220

3pm on way home from mall: plum 60

Late lunch around 3:45pm: tons of cooked veggies but low cal ones with the lightest sauce ever (hardly any sauce) 250 at most. the place I like to stop at had tons of extra veggies that they usually don't have - selection was amazing for the prepared stuff - so I bought extra as it's my last busy week before I take a week off before the wedding. So yea, i'm going to do WHATEVER I can to make the week as smooth as possible and make sure I have enough veggies so I can eat till i'm content and manage my weight for these last two weeks! And actually, it's now under two weeks. SO EXCITING. I cannot wait to put on my dress :) and then some turkey jerky not that great. 160 and now gonna have flavored seltzer with stevia and chill out before gym which i'm going to at 6pm today.

total so far: around 900...gonna be good today, keep it def no more than 1500.

before gym: fiber one bar & caffeine 200

After gym: Snookerdoodle Protein Cookie (hi carb, mod protein, mod fat) 360

total today: around 1450 - super duper.

2-day average = 1625/day. good.

I am def in wedding mode (even though i'm a bridesmaid, not a bride) and I am eager to look WONDERFUL in my dress. I had the last fitting today & made sure to tighten it up!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, it's SUPER important for me to stick to my guns and do what I need to in order for this dress to look ABSOLUTELY the way I want it to on me. I am SO SO SO SO SO SO happy already based on the fitting today. :)

My plan is to do my own approach until wedding. After it, I ordered some things like a "3-day refresh," but I will NOT be using anything new before wedding since I know my approach of calorie counting is what works. So, I'm going to go with the foods I like & do what I like (I think) until wedding. Just 4 days of work this week, then i'm finally off to get my tax filing done...and any little prep I need to do before wedding :) wedding 4/2 - yay!

My plan is to stay around this amount of calories Monday & Tuesday.  Next gym session is NOT until Wednesday :)

_________________________________________________

Plans for today: dress fitting at noon, pick up food for week & lunch, come home 7 eat, read more, / relax, go to gym, dinner. :) 

Stayed at mall MUCH longer than expected - like 2 hours more than I thought I would. But worth it because mom was with me & I found the last item that I needed - black shoes to go with my dress for the rehearsal dinner. Reason I needed so much for this wedding in the first place is because I didn't own any dresses (or rather any dress I did own at home was NOT purchased within the past 5 years!). so yeah, it was ok to buy a dress for the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding. I had borrowed my mom's shoes for the bridal shower. And now I have a pair of comfortable, lower heals, that I bought on sale for $60 that are HIGH QUALITY and that I can even wear with jeans. They go with everything. So this is great! I'll wear them at the rehearsal dinner too & my ankle and feet won't be crying after.  I cannot wear high heals anymore - I have too many issues and it's NOT worth messing around when what I want is NYPD.

_________________________________________

Proud of myself for yesterday's activities (20 min walk, reading, resting, internet stuff, going though some heath bills, signing up for an online weight/health challenge group with friends I know from college, laundry, taking care of myself and being lazy) / rest / calories / not overindulging when I wasn't hungry / taking a sleeping pill and getting good sleep leading into today.

I am rested from last night, feel good although still keeping into consideration that I must continue to try to rest when I can this week & keep getting better.  Bad cold is just about over thankfully - but I will need to continue getting good sleep this week to kick it to the curb. !!! And I will. Wedding in just under 2 weeks now! And to top it off, I am going to Atlantic City the following weekend for one night with a friend to party at a pool party there at night mostly, and walk around & see the place! So cool!! AC is my party to celebrate the end of winter / end of wedding stuff / and live up my life for a night!

And after the wedding & AC, I am starting to line up a few things to do in Spring so that life stays happy & interesting. When things get too boring & static, I get depressed. I enjoy change in my life - and by doing new things here & there, I will be able to keep the positivity up.

Other things planned: 

April: Brooklyn Botanical Gardens - Cherry Blossom Festival end of April either a Saturday or Sunday whatever my friends can do! 

May: Mother's Day (a given to see my folks!), and maybe end of May will be maybe a small trip to New Hope, PA on Memorial Day weekend!, or just relax in May....no worries. tired thinking about it all...

June 8th: A Wednesday night! i'm going to a concert  at 6pm (going to work that day & still going to work the next day because it's such an early concert starting 6pm and it's so close to where I live!) that's literally in my backyard only 15 min away in Queens at Citi Field Met's Stadium - Beyoncé!!!! so cool!.  I'm going with my best friend Christine (we are getting along better now thankfully!) and i'll pick her up from the train after work & drop her off after the concert. Works out really nicely!) and of course Father's Day, a given with my family.

July 9th: My friend Bill is coming down from Canada to visit and we'll go to NYC for a show, maybe see my other friends & introduce him, and also  bring him to a really cool beach.!!!

So, there are nice plans with friends for sure in the spring & summer. Happy about this.  Very happy. I plan to live it up a bit this summer, taking my new days as I please but within reason. I may go on a trip come December  2016 or Februrary 2017 depending where i'm at work-wise and job-wise.!  If I do a trip, it would be a cruise probably or trip to Vegas (which is unfortunately so much more expensive but I might...)

 

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

marshallsaya on 03/20/2016:
It sounds like a good day you had yesterday. I too get depressed if things get too boring, so I have to find things that will keep me from getting blue. It sounds like you have some fun things planned that will for sure lift your spirits :) Have a Blessed Day. ~Angie

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/21/2016:
Thanks for wishing me a good day, wishing the same to you. I have had a long time when I was injured in the past where I didn't make any plans. It was a very upsetting time. I am so glad that is in my past & that I am able to live my life again!

I am trying to make plans now so that when spring and summer is finally here, I do have nice things to do! thank you Marshall!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Mar 19, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

Plans for today: staying home, not going out / getting dressed in street clothes, and doing laundry downstairs still in my apt building. happy to be home & be home ALL day. reading / relaxing / maybe a walk around the building actually - if I feel up to it later. but for now, resting. getting over being sick. happy to have a rest day. was waiting for it!

Last week was a challenge, but I got through it. I even finished with a gym session last night but tried my best not to do a couple exercises that involve basically only the shoulder. I will continue my gym sessions thru the end of this month but will be taking extra care in dealing with my shoulder. And after the wedding, I resolve to take around 3-4 weeks off from the gym (or I will go but not work out intensely / not worry about missing days here & there).

In May, i'll be back at it in full swing. I want to have a nice beach body come summer!  but, i'm going to change around my gym routine a bit in May - for more lower & less upper body I think.  From May onward, my real challenge is not a beach body really at all. My focus will be on strengthening my lower body & getting into the NYPD. That will be my main focus & hard work will be put in!

...Dedication like nothing you've ever seen. Yup. I will not be done after the wedding, rather i'll be just starting & changing my total focus.  Gym sessions will prob be shorter. and possibly more often. Like, 1 day legs, 1 day upper. now I do everything same day...i'll work it out. But a change is coming in May. These changes are on purpose to live healthier & workout smarter. To help me sleep better & live better. I need to make some changes to my gym workouts. So, when I join my new gym, I'll start over a little bit! different goals.

Today so far: 8am: aminos in water 30, Kombucha 70. 100.

9:30-10:15am: spread-out breakfast: some roasted cabbage in some oil 100 at most, some cauliflower roasted with nuts & small pieces fruit 200 most, and a health salad in some oil / vinegar prob around 150 most. oh, and leftover beef jerky 50, and some chips 100! - total here: 600, good.

total so far: 700, good, balanced. now I'm happy I have my seltzer!

12:30 big, satisfying meal: lots of cooked veggies with oil 200, then a microwave Smart Ones mac & cheese 300 mixed into cooked cabbage 50, and a drink 50. total: 600 and satisfying!

1300 :)..sometimes it's best to rest and not totally eat the minimum. Planning for around 1800 today. 

2:30 fruit and chips 160

4:30 fruit and bar 300

1750..rest day...its ok...50 after my walk - had another plum. lots of fruit today. :) two plums, and lots of strawberries throughout the day.

total today for saturday: 1800 and losing my appetite a bit - now it's 7pm. just thirsty for plain water at the moment & very tired.

 Its almost 9pm and took a sleeping pill just now. deciding kitchen is closed for today. Dress Fitting tomorrow which may be the last. However, I do plan to go back, myself without my mom, the week before the wedding to be sure that I don't want any more alterations.!!! I want to look as good as I can, the end.

_______________________________________________________________

I did end up going for a 20 or 30min walk. not sure what it came to. was a good idea. but i'm overall very tired. just need extra rest right now. beginning to feel a lot better, but just need rest...whatever, i'll just rest a bit during the week leading up to the wedding since i'm taking off those days I do plan to lay low and enjoy some nice, quiet, care-free personal time. I'll catch up with things that need catching up with & also be relaxing a lot at home like I did today. and do things at a slower, relaxed pace - very much including sleeping in that week. :)

 _____________________________________________________________

It's a full rest day, not upset for staying in all day.  I was waiting for this opportunity since Monday. I don't even want to walk outside. No cares. Just want to be home all day & loving this freedom to stay inside. I may change my mind later just to move around for a few minutes, but overall, i'm staying home. No driving no matter what. No food shopping. Nothing beyond walking around the block a lil bit!  So nice to have the freedom to relax & rest.

 

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!


Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Mar 18, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1840 7-day average :) great!

6am: kombucha 80

8:30am: balanced bar 140, blueberries 120, hot water (trying to lay off tea and coffee at work) total 260.

11am snack: bar (natural, healthy, balanced type & higher carb w/ added vitamins) 220

planning on gym tonight even though i'm still battling this cough....feeling like i'll use the caffeine and just power thru.

1pm lunch: greens 100, half avocado 160, popcorn 160, chicken with some skin 200, diet coke: 620.

If I have to work, I will treat myself and go to the gym. I will chill on Saturday.

Before gym: plum 50, bar 100, drink 50: total less than 200 actually. i'll say 170

1350 before gym, excellent. 400-450 after gym.

total today: 1800. nice!

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

puddles on 03/18/2016:
Have a great day and take care if you are not feeling good J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/18/2016:
TY puddy...gym did make me feel good :)


hollybelle on 03/19/2016:
Hope the cough doesn't last. Maybe allergies? Have a good Saturday!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Mar 17, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1845 6-day average. I did good.
Kombucha: 160 too much. hopefully NOT more calories than that...having constipation issues because I've been eating big dinners bc not working out & enjoying eating more volume at home, the extra kombucha helped finally!
Bar: 140 higher protein / fiber / fat and low sugar. good.
300.
Bagels at work, I might have one with CC or at least half one & fruit….but now I’m thinking to just have my yogurt….i want to keep cals low today thru Sunday.
Snack: yogurt 120
420.
Lunch: tons of veggies in an Israeli chopped salad with the light dressing it’s in, ½ chicken breast with skin, half a smaller avocado.  around 600 - natural & healthy.
besides the acidic kombucha, laying off all tea and coffee today before my teeth whitening doesn't work at all! ...
1050 before dinner. deciding to go back to the gym tomorrow.
Did 3 errands after work & best one was a spur-of-the-moment trip to Old Navy to buy new black jeans in a size 2!!!!!! I came out with 2 new prs and a pair of Jeans. TREATED MYSELF FOR DOING GREAT & sticking to my goals. and I saved $$. I figure any charges I incur thru April I will wash out with some of my tax return :)
My old black jeans belong in the trash. they are same jeans, and the stretch and color is worn out completely. was time for new.
Delicious Dinner: roasted Brussels around 50, awesome escarole around 150, beef jerky around 100, and popcorn at most 200. total here: 500 and tasty. popcorn was butter but small bag :)
total today: 1550, EXCELLENT.
Planning to be back at gym tomorrow after work. I took Mon-Thurs off.
 

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/17/2016:
Good score on jeans! Good day - going back to gym tomorrow!


marshallsaya on 03/18/2016:
I usually wear my jeans completely out before replacing them. I'm glad you got some new ones :) Have a GREAT day.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Mar 16, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

1960 5-day average = pretty good for sure, getting lower if I keep some low days. tomorrow I will NOT be at the gym. Planning on going Friday after work. And then sunday night. I took only 1 day off this week, but got a lot of rest days in a row since Sunday which is really good. my shoulder is starting to feel better a little bit. the more I can rest it, the better.

So far thru morning & 120 yogurt later, kombucha 70, banana 130, bar 220, coffee 40, grapes 80

Lunch 450 (microwaved spinach mixed with with a Smart Ones microwave meal of Macaroni & Cheese).

Left work at 4pm (half hour early) to go to dermatologist. Glad I left early, because with the small shopping (buying food at specialty store near the derm.) and with derm. apt, I finally was home at 6:30pm. So, glad I did leave work at 4pm! Everyone else leaves when they want to, and i'm literally exhausted / sick...so....yeah, I put myself first today, thank god. As soon as I woke up this morning, felt like I needed to leave work at 4pm since I knew I had a dermatologist appt. Glad I did...less traffic getting there as well.

Snack on way to derm: blueberries around 100 and bought a flavored sparkling water.

Huge dinner, but pretty much healthy stuff (bought it all tonight near my Dermatologist - it's in a HUGE shopping center with awesome food of course!) pickles 50, lots of roasted brussel sprouts 100 at most i'd say?, seaweed salad 100?, beef jerky that I already had (wanted lots of salt) 200, chips 150. total: 600. good. could be more, but i'll just say 600!

total today: around 1700, good...much better. and tomorrow, I will keep it low as well as Friday & Saturday. I should - my dress fitting is on sunday! It's my next to last fitting i'd say!

 __________________________________________

Worry-free Wednesday. I’ll think positive, why not. It’s my only option I do know….because being so negative isn’t helping me feel better sooner.  So there.  I’m trying today.

Last night I spoke to my “favorite guy” while driving home. He left me in the best mood yesterday afternoon. It was a short convo, just over 10 minutes because he was at his parent’s house & I was running errands. He was super sweet on the phone to me (considering how difficult it is for him to open up at all emotionally). He is my sweetheart even if we aren’t officially dating yet I know that things are going to get only better from here with time. Like I said, he was super sweet. His voice was even sounding lower & softer than anytime we’ve spoken in the past. He told me he knows he’ll hear from me again soon, too, when we were hanging up. He does have feelings for me & it is obvious even though he’s having trouble with putting everything into words. But he told me he enjoys hearing from me & made me feel confident and relaxed about the both of us being on the same page with things. He confided something in me also – that his mom had cancer before. I didn’t ask what type – I didn’t feel I should right now. I just said I was sorry and that was it. The phone convo was lighthearted and short and we were flirting a little bit (both of us). He’s a sweetheart. Everything I would want in a man he is. Both his looks & personality and also his lifestyle are those of my ideal man but being logical & rational about it as well.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/16/2016:
Ah, sweetheart phone conversations - I remember those now - my husband and I talk on the phone mostly to decide who's picking up dinner!! LOL

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/16/2016:
I really hope it works with me & him. He's actually starting to turn around in a good way. he's starting to open up & the conversations are just very sweet. and when we say goodbye, he sounds so sweet. I already am missing his voice tonight! He's 44, never married, and not used to dating anymore. I think he's wonderful.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Mar 15, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

2,025 4-day average

6am: kombucha 70

8:30am: banana bigger 150, bar 150

Snack: yogurt 120

Total Before lunch: 500.

Lunch: popcorn 160, tofu 50, spinach up to 100, and other veggies sautéed 200? around 500plum 50

snack before short walk: strawberries 100 (had a lot of them)

Dinner: lean cuisine noodles in ricotta sauce 300 mixed into in an entire microwaved package of shredded cabbage100. also had some saag on the cabbage prob around 100 and chips 150 higher carb / higher salt. total for dinner is: 600-650

total cals: 1800, good. exercise: I actually did a 20 min walk while on phone with my coworker and friend Jen.

We planned to spend a night in AC & BOOKED it! :) yay. It's for the weekend DIRECTLY after the wedding weekend! LOL LOL LOL. I figured this: why not! it's one night, Friday night. So, i'll take off work then. New vaca days start in April. And I don't feel bad about taking a day. Not at all...even with my week off before the wedding. I DON'T care and people WILL understand since I never take days off. (in 5 months, I've taken 1 sick day).

whatever. April cannot come soon enough.

Sick again. Been feeling sicky since Sunday night. Nothing major. Just slight nasal drip down my throat and mostly dry coughing. From exhaustion. I don't do well without days off.

Thinking about taking tomorrow off to make up for skipping gym today or i'll just go to the gym after work. Yes, this sounds better. I was going to go to the dermatologist after work tomorrow, but i'd rather go to the gym & make up for today!

I hope to be back at the gym by Thursday this week. Skipping it today and Thursday if i'm still sick.  Run down and pissed off.  Final decision.

Listening to the strangest news topic on tv this morning. It's not something that I have heard before on tv for here in Queens. I've heard it for 3rd world countries where they have nothing, but not for the city here. It's very times forward, very pro-women. It's about high schools putting free pads and tampons in their bathrooms in certain schools in Queens so that women who get their periods during the school day do not have to leave school or go home or something - they can go to the bathroom at school & get what they need (free). Makes sense. Just weird to hear it on tv & hear high school girls speaking so matter-of-factly about themselves and support for this new system on public tv. Those girls and the program are doing a great job for the rest of us. Those high school girls should be proud of themselves to be able to discuss in such a healthy manner their own feelings. I could never have spoken so eloquently on such a topic when I was back in high school!  Ummmm, sorry OR.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

marshallsaya on 03/15/2016:
Hope you feel better. I am glad they are going to do that for the girls. I hated having to call my mom many years ago when I was in school. My daughter had to few times while she was in school too. I think it's time. It will be a long time until they do it here in Tennessee I'm sure. ~Angie

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
oh yeah, it's great they are doing it - especially in inner-city high needs schools. not all schools, but a test-trial sorta thing. I think 20 high schools? not sure. but it's costing the city around $160,000 ! Yes, I do agree, money well-spent.


grannyannie on 03/15/2016:
My cough has been from post nasal drip. Very annoying. Hope yours clears up quicker than mine! Feel better.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
thanks Annie, weirdly, I've had the post-nasal thing 3x now this winter. I think maybe it could be also from burning candle in my apt for too long? and continuously breathing in the candle for hours?


grannyannie on 03/15/2016:
I wouldn't think a candle has anything to do with it - unless it's scented.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
yeah, scented ones. maybe screw with respiration if i'm home all day long with it..


innerpeace on 03/15/2016:
I hate that dry coughing. I hope you get rid of it.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
Thanks girl. I wonder if people think i'm joking at work!? lol. I hate the dry cough too.


OhioRaven on 03/16/2016:
Thank you HP !



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Mar 14, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 116.0

2100 3-day avg. I am run down. I need some time off. I'll have to think better the remainder of this month while at work.

Ok, logging back in now at 9:30am at work - just realized something awesome...in 9 days, just NINE days, I'll be off from work. I don't have much longer till some much needed rest. Oh thank you lord! It'll be just around the 6month mark of no vaca and it'll be so nice to be able to rest at home & feel good at the wedding. Oh thank you lord for giving me the strength to plug thru and feel better. Just realizing that - looking at my calendar and realizing that I don't have even 2 full weeks to go - is helping me so much - I feel so good about that. Under two weeks & I am thru!

total before lunch: around 560, good. feeling wiped. just chilling. could have used another day to do nothing...but...that doesn't pay bills right? so like I said, just chilling...and trying to use as little energy as humanly possible today at work.

Lunch: doubt it's more than 550.

on way home: orange. 90

HUGE dinner: half a chicken breast with skin around 200?, then spinach 50, and tons of different assortments of oily / marinated veggies of different types in my fridge all fabulous 500 at most for those. total here: around 750.

total today: 1950 or so. worth it. need to eat better right now. don't want to feel sick. oh crap...and chips. 100 or so more.

total today: 2050. or so. hopefully not more.

I do feel tired, I do feel emotional, I do feel like I want to be home & in bed. I will try to relax here at work, and move at a slower pace. It's all I can do right now to help myself.  I don't feel great. Last night I did have a sore throat again this winter for which I luckily had some medicine at home which did in fact help me sleep through the night & wish that I could sleep even longer. I'll be ok. No plans after work tonight & I have a lot of food at home. I may pick up some cabbage or something to eat with what I have bc the lettuce expired and I have to throw it out. but that's all I need. maybe pick up a rotisserie chicken too and eat some for dinner.  Been eating too much beef jerky. Need some healthy nutrition in me. Chicken is better than beef jerky for sure. and it'll taste good all nice and warm from supermarket.

I really am not feeling that great. I'm working on changing my mental attitude for today. Just need to realize that i'm at a difficult place right now and it's meant to be a challenge and I am able to get through it.

Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/14/2016:
Hope you can feel calmer and more energetic. Hope you're not getting what I have - the sore throat, cough, nasal stuff.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/14/2016:
I think i'm going to be able to knock it out - upon realizing I only need to get thru 9 days till some time off before this wedding. Sore throats are horrible. For some reason, I had it on & off all winter...what I mean is, I got sick with it twice already. this is the third time...but not so bad i'll kick it out of me I think before it gets bad.


puddles on 03/14/2016:
One day at a time will get you through those 9 days. Relax and take care of yourself.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/14/2016:
Thank you for the advice. I'll def try to take 1 day at a time. If I need to rest on Tuesday from the gym, I will. I have to think of my health & stay away from the injuries....I have to remember the feeling of being really hurt.

thank you for the kind advice.


hollybelle on 03/14/2016:
Yes, one day at a time and don't take on anything more than you have to. Think how quickly time passes and picture this time doing the same. This time next month you may well have forgotten the anxiousness and stress of these days. I hope so, at least!!!


cybermom4 on 03/15/2016:
I ditto Hollybelle - one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up, Give yourself calming supportive self talk. "I am grateful for..... Because of that I will make it through another day". You are a good hard worker. You are dedicated to the things you put your mind to. You are an inspiration. You are loyal and you are human. All things that make you HOP!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
awww, thank you Mom. Your sweet comments will help me get thru today & feel better today. Thank you for being supportive on here. I do reach out for support even though I am self-motivated. This is one of the places where I go for it. It's good to have a network for we can go when we need a boost / support / advice from others. Here & facebook are my two online networks. I used to do Sparkpeople, but it was too much / too big / and I felt DD was better.



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