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Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Aug 11, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

wedndesday: new entry below.... :-)

breakfast: roll w. egg 200, fiber one and milk 160, coffee 40, 400.

snacks: vit waters:

lunch:

snack??, followed by therapy:

dinner, WILL NOT BINGE after therapy, as would be tempting:

walk after dinner tonight probably.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so tomorrow is my first therapy appointment. last time was just gathering data, like a month ago, and not with the same person. i hope it goes well. and it would be kinda GREAT if she supported me having some sort of anti anxiety pill. i don't know, it's always worse around PMS time, like last week, before TOM this week...

so today was good with calories, 1500.

and exercise was good, too. 45 min elliptical, 15 min bike, and weights, and abs, and back. so i did it all, 2 hours approx. exercising. not too shabby.  and like i said, i shall only do weights 3 or 4 times a week. NO MORE.

i need to make sure i'm getting sleep. or i'm done for!  especially with eating.

my legs have thinned out a little, so i am wearing my old scrubs tomorrow. they are a size smaller, a little tight on the butt, but hey, they look better with my long polo top than the larger ones that stick out around the belly and make me look pregnant or just weird. so these are actually better, although a bit tight.  the legs are better. it's just around the hips. but who cares, they look better than the other size!

today has been a low stress week. i'm just observing MRI.  we don't actually get tested on it. just a week to see what it's all about. the machine broke today, so i saw even less.  also, i get out early this week by a whole hour on mon, tues, thurs. like i said, easy week.

next week my class is going to see the "bodies exhibit."  I've already seen it, and it's expensive. but i'll do the right thing, and join my class so we can all be together on a trip and take monday off from school. I will ALSO take ANOTHER day off next week, thankfully it's not the most important of rotations in the hospital, to go to a water park with my best friend, possibly one or two other people. we figure we'll go on a weekday, when it's less crowded! 

so that's my story.

i haven't been studying too much, mostly in the mornings for a half hour at school, and i've been putzing around the internet too much.

but all in all, August is shaping up to be a nice month. And I am SO GLAD I have FINALLY started up with weights again. After a 2 year hiatus.

ok, i am not on a high, and i will not be on a low tomorrow and overeat. no way, no how.

(2362, 12 day average.)

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

mskitty on 08/12/2009:
How much does therapy cost? do you usually have to sign up for a set number of sessions or can you pay as you go? I always wanted to go but I always assumed it would be to much $ and just another added stress to my already dwindling finances. Most of the time I think I need meds too. ;)


selina on 08/12/2009:
Hey HoP! I read smthng about the bodies exhibit and thought it was pretty gruesome! i wonder if it's the same i'm thinking....

Yeah, I'm back counting calories. I didn't do too badly during my vacation/travels period, but it's nice to be able to eat one's food again. At leat I know what I put in it!

Good luck with your therapy. Let us know how it went...


catepillar on 08/12/2009:
Looks like you are doing much better, that is fantastic! My diet, I eat lots of fruits and vegetables. I actually eat well balanced meals. It is important when dealing with my food addiction that I eat a variety of tastes and textures to trigger my 'full' sensation so that I don't keep grazing or eating mindlessly or binge. I am not a fan of cauliflower, so if I ate it mashed...i'd have to use lots of butter and cheese lol. Have a great day!


cupcakeLuv on 08/12/2009:
hey thanks for the help. I did try that weat pasta last night instead of the original. and i liked it alot. My mother told me about it to and i had to try it. The peas idea sounds good i love peas. i will def have to try that also. thanks again :)


loveray on 08/12/2009:
how did therapy go, love? thank you for your messages. i think i am going to get a massage or treatment this weekend. xoxo


loveray on 08/13/2009:
looks good! remember your protein:)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Aug 09, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

Tuesday

breakfast: fiber one and milk: 160, roll w. egg 200, coffee 40: 400.

snacks: vit waters 50

lunch: peas w. some oil cooked 150, soy chips 160, small salad 30 drink 10 total:  350.

total so far: 800.

probable snack: chocolate bars 200, blueberries 80, 3 med apricots 70 total: 360

1150

dinner: quesadilla microwavable 280, maybe a kombucha 60

probable total: 1500.

exercise: possibly 6 mi...maybe just 4 depending how i feel.  it's the TOM. haha. finally, i was starting to wonder when it would show up.

2362, 12 day average.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Monday

healthy big breakfast: 480.

snack: propel waters 40

lunch: huge salad.  all healthy.  450

snack: grapes 80, choc pops 200

1250 plus dinner...

6 shrimp110 , drink 25, small salad 25, celery 20, 2 large portabella mushrooms micowaved w. seasonings 70, bean salad w. those mushrooms 140: approx. 400 ok

total: 1650 fine by me. really healthy day.

4.75 mile walk.  felt really good. would have walked longer if it wasn't so late.

tomorrow: 6 miler.

(2440 11 day average)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sunday

it's 9:37 in the morning and so far my day has been a good one. :)

my date last night went pretty well. he's a pretty good looking guy, nice guy, smart guy.  generally great to be around. as far as things in common, some we do some we don't. so we'll see. we stayed at the restaurant till a bit after 10. so like 2 hours.  after that we both got kinda antsy and just wanted to find our waitress and get the bill. it was after 2 hours that i was getting sleepy as anything (attributed to exercise earlier and 2 mugs of beer there!) and we started to not have anything else to talk about. but it was late.  so he walked me to my car and kissed me on the cheek. i don't know if we can be romantically involved. we shall see. i think i would do another date with him.

breakfast: ices, coffee: 150.

snack:bar 170

lunch: overate with cookies too much, at least 10 cookies.

total calories: 3200

exercise: weights, 6 miles.

2520, 10 day average = 1.5 lb gain over 10 days. not so good. ( i said i wouldn't continue this average garbage but it's the only way to be accountable/knowledgable of my calorie intake and why i would be gaining/losing/maintaining weight)

this week's weightloss goal: keep calories in the 1500s.  weights twice at the gym. moderate goal. i know i can do this, if i stay busy, keep my mind on the goal. benefits of keeping this goal: improved fitness and strength, calorie average will be a more reasonable 2200s.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

midwest50 on 08/09/2009:
Oh my gosh...the dating world. It has been so long since I've been there I wouldn't know what to do. Scary scary. Glad you had a good time.


Donkey on 08/09/2009:
Sounds like the date was fun. I wouldn't worry so much about "will this go anywhere" but rather just enjoy the time out. Then again, it's been so long since I've been on a date that I'd just be happy to go out. LOL!


catepillar on 08/09/2009:
Have a great day!


SarahRN on 08/09/2009:
Thanks for the great advice! Glad you had fun on the date!


selina on 08/10/2009:
Hey, HoP! Sounds like you are doing great! I hope you are having a great summer!


catepillar on 08/10/2009:
Sometimes we have to stop doing what we know, in order to get to where we thought we'd never be. Have a good day!


cupcakeLuv on 08/10/2009:
wow sounds like you had a nice date. good for you girl. a kiss at the end of a date can only mean good things :) ps. i have a problem with cookies 2 lol!


halley on 08/10/2009:
Sounds like a solid first date. Glad you had fun.


loveray on 08/10/2009:
i want to hear more about this date!!


loveray on 08/10/2009:
sounds like an awesome day, thus far!! xoox


catepillar on 08/11/2009:
Congratulations on a good day!


Donkey on 08/11/2009:
Start a new entry!!


starfish on 08/11/2009:
Looking good!


halley on 08/11/2009:
Looks like you are a good planner. I never plan out my food for an entire day. It's a good idea.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Aug 08, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

i'm taking a step back, i put too much pressure on myself to lose weight, fast, again.  it's about eating moderately everyday. not just eating as little as i can to get through the week. this week i am focussed on a more healthy approach. :)  more salad/beans at lunch.  emphasis and focus less toward all the carbs, which trigger me.

before i even think about exercise, i'm off to do some errands this morning.  the bank where i actually must see a tellar today, return some things to CVS, possibly purchase a different knee brace that works?.  lol, i guess i don't have too many errands. good!  I also have a coupon for Victoria's secret, free underwear, i'll pick that up tomorrow or today.  And, i'll pick up some healthy food from a special organic store, probably tomorrow, so i don't start overeating today before the date. it would trigger me today.

i send love and happiness to everyone on DD.

i know this is tmi, but i've been REALLY gassy for like a week straight. It's due to all my overeating and also having too much fatty foods (like fries), bad carbs like pizza/fries, cookies, etc. No fiber and lots of fat usually does this to a person. Also, i think the sugar free chocolate pops i've been eating have sugar alcohols in them, it's funny, the box only lists "other carbs" on nutrition facts, but i KNOW it's sugar alcohols. i would NOT have bought them if that were the case, bc it's horrible on your digestive system and gives HORRIBLE gas - especially if you have FOUR pops at one time. lol.

breakfast: large coffee 50, ices: 150 tasty, satisfying feeling after this breakfast.

lunch/snack: more ices 100, 25 vitamin water

snack:bar 150

snack:bag, popcorn250, tofu200, roll120: 570.eh.

total: 1,000 eh.  FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS DATE TONIGHT. especially bc i'm so bloated with hot air....

diner:? out. will include alcohol.  2 large mugs beer, 450 or so? and chips 250 or so? 700.

total today: 1775 (had some 10 cal vitamin waters during the night so i would have energy this morning. lol. still needed to sleep in.

tonight i have a date. he's meeting me in my town, which is actually known for its bars and restaurants.  we are meeting for drinks, not dinner. however, we're meeting at 7:30...so maybe we'll order something with our drinks. he's paying, most probably, or there wont be a second date lol, but i hope i don't have to order anything too unhealthy with my drink.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

cupcakeLuv on 08/10/2009:
you write a good blog. it really made me think about not putting to much pressure on myself. i get realyl crazy when im trying to eat well.. thanks. i can use your good advice :)


cupcakeLuv on 08/13/2009:
what are ices?



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Aug 07, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

1650. 6 miles. final count.

i've been really stressed as of late. starting up with classes again, not just clinicals where we just "show up." will start taking tests again soon.  Being in a classroom with a bunch of morons who feel the need to act like children, all the time. I can't bother having lunch with them or anything else for that matter.  It's not my loss, it's a waste of my time, usually, to be around these nobodies. Now, I am not calling myself some superwoman, surely i'im not, i'm just saying i don't like my classmates, for the most part. there are about 10 or us, total.  and we are too different. so, whatever, this year will probably move fast once it gets moving!

calories so far today, looking to not continue the binge process:

breakfast: ices, coffee (i like this breakfast. it is actually VERY satisfying to me bc the ices are so hard, italian ices, it takes about 20 minutes (the time that it takes someone to feel full, recognize being full) so that's why i like this breakfast. 150

vitamin waters, etc, as snacks: 50 or so.

lunch: crappy salad, with no eggs to add in, from cafeteria, and some steamed veggies: 250 or so.

total so far: 450.

snack after school: 150 bar

dinner: 2 salads, croutons 270, tofu fried 200, veggies 200

after dinner: 300 in ice cream/chocolate bars

total calories today: 1570.  i was hoping lower, but this isn't bad.

exercise: 3 mi after school, and another 3 miler, i think.

relaxing tonight/tomorrow and a date tomorrow night.

good afternoon, everyone.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

halley on 08/07/2009:
Great news about feeling back on track - let us know. Have fun on your date.


grumpy on 08/07/2009:
haha, no need to wait till you're 32 or 42! it's just a matter of learning from your experience. unfortunately it took me a while to have a more intense relationship that didnt work and learn what i want... who do you have a date with, huh huh ;)


midwest50 on 08/07/2009:
Re: Thanks!


evaopala on 08/07/2009:
Thats great you found something thats filling. Took me forever to find a breakfast that really satified me for the whole morning. Keep focused on your goal ! :) Have fun on your date.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Aug 06, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

binged again.  overall 1.3 pound gain.  i need to start fresh. no more averages for awhile.  about 4500 extra cal. i'm so tired and done.

big breakfast: lg peach 90, yogurt 80, coffee 50, 3 bread 270, butter 50. total: 540.

snack: bar 210

lunch:hot pretzel w. ketchup/mustard 400, coffee 40, diet sobe no cal. 450 approx.

total before snack: 1200.  will try to keep cal low the rest of the day. may not exercise, or 30 min if anything.  knee hurts.  i will prob have a very light snack and early dinner. crap.

snack: bar 210, then, binge:

small fries 250, large fries 600, 8 dried apricots 110  , pizza 450, tofu 200, ravioli 200, 300 yogurt/ice cream...2110

total: 3620.  and i want something VERY sweet. i want cake, cookies, etc.

2650, 7 day average.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/06/2009:
OK, now this is what I like to see. A nice BIG breakfast. Seriously -- I totally recommend that breakfast be 400-600 calories, especially if your "second breakfast" (midmorning snack) is going to be light (as yours is at 200 calories).

This may seem like a lot to you, to be eating, especially since you want to lose weight. But I have found that this works for me. Carbs, fiber and fat in the morning. Then I try to make my lunch and dinner focused on fruits and vegetables and protein.

Sometimes my 1st breakfast is not so heavy -- say maybe around 350 calories -- but by the time I am done with Second Breakfast, I'm around 600-700 calories.

I hope this works for you today.


halley on 08/06/2009:
Again I totally agree with DOnkey. Try it for a few days, see if it changes your cravings. Way to go.


catepillar on 08/06/2009:
Doctor scales are always crappy LOL I think they make everyone weigh a little heavy in order to give them extra ammo to tell us to get in shape. One day at a time.....


midwest50 on 08/06/2009:
Re: No I don't think you rude and I truly appreciate your advice. I feel as though I'm eating enough, I mean, I'm not hungry at all. I probably should have more calories at breakfast though. I'll try to incorporate more in between snacks. Thanks!


halley on 08/07/2009:
I'm so sorry - I really thought having a big breakfast would help. Have you tried hot tea? Drink some hot tea after dinner - it always gets rid of cravings for me.


Donkey on 08/07/2009:
I would still stick to the bigger breakfasts. Your lunch needs to have protein, not white starchy carbs.

I'm sorry this has happened. What do you think triggered this episode? (((hugs)))



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Aug 05, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

total cal today: 1720...1920 (200 more calories after my walk...) yes, i wanted 1200. but no, i didn't eat anything balanced and my goal was really not feasible.  therefore, i will not call dinner a binge, even though it was 950 cal.

(2600 5 day avg.)  (2486, 6 day average.) yes, the avg is lower, but not by much.  i guess it'll improve if i keep calories down these two days.... my goal is to get through the week and weekend so i can be more relaxed next week. and actually continue this weightoss rather than maintain.

on the doctor's scale, i was 142!!! like, what!? that scale HAD to be off! my gosh.  no way am i that much....so i will forget that is the # it said!

breakfast: 130

snack: 140

lunch: 200 (approx470)diet drinks 510

snack: pretzels 160 (670)

snack:100 cal snack oreos 100 yeah, too many carbs. and boy they don't satisfy! (770)

dinner: 2 huge peaches on the way home 180, tomato brushetta stuff 50, bean salad 100, fried tofu 200, salad w. light dressing 40, yogurt 80, 6 chocolate pops 300 dinner total: 950

exercise:

trip to the doctor. not looking foward to the weighin haha. lol, i'm so bloated when he feels my abd he's gonna think i have mass storage for like everyone in my town in my stomach. haha.

take care, looking foward to leaving some comments tonight. on your pages.

i'm depressed a little, 1st day back to actual classes. really boring at times. i need to relax. (i'd love a real chill pill!!!)

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/05/2009:
Good luck with the doctor. Maybe you would want to consider asking for a Rx for some anti-anxiety meds. There is a drug called Topamax that is supposed to help with binge-eating disorder as well. Think about it...

You have been doing well, lately though, with a few exceptions. Seriously, I think once school is over and you have a full-time job, things are bound to improve. hang in there!


hollybelle on 08/06/2009:
Ah, the doctor's scales are always WRONG where I go. Just go by the scales you usually weigh on. It's JUST a number, seriously.....I like your idea to FORGET it. A chill pill. Hey - get me one too!!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Aug 03, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

(info for myself.  8 days, 2000 + 5 days, 2600 = 13 days, 2230.) total possible extra calories over 13 days: 3000. less than one pound.

Tuesday Entry:  binged at dinner.  2600 is the 5 day average. i'm a mess, again.  If i can just manage 2 days of 1200 cal each, i'll be ok.  it would equal 2200 cal per day for 7 days. not great but tolerable.  i need help with this.  crap.  1st day back to class, tomorrow. now i'll be exhausted, i def can't sleep just yet.  i think i need to take a walk, again.

Breakfast: different. oatmeal w. a little egg white mixed in: 180, coffee 50, and i added a yogurt bc i wasn't satisfied. 90 Total: 320 ok.

snacks: powerade drink mixes: 60

lunch: green beans, banana, diet drinks: around 270

650

snack: too  hungry. 4 servings chips 500, 3 red peppers, small tomato 160 total here: 660 fine.

calories before dinner: 1310.  i will splurge today. 

dinner: ok...i will eat healthy...tofu w. leaks, microwaved. garlic. 300, 2 bread 220, veggie chips 500, cookie 200, cereal 450, blueberries 160, milk 60. 1900 just dinner....2 bread 180, butter 110....290 more, yogurt, banana 100

total: 3800. help.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Monday Entry:

current 4 day running average: 2290 for the past 4 days.  still a bit high.  tomorrow i *need*  a different breakfast. sick of the ices/coffee.  especially when i need to sit around for some of the morning, and think about my hunger...not good.

hungry, not great day.  i woke up with a painful knee - i could hardly bend it back at all. and stairs, well, not good...  i didn't even want to go to school, but i did.  i don't want to take off any more "sit around" days. i'd rather take the day to do something fun while summer is here.

breakfast: 150. was famished by a couple hours later. i'm not on my feet this week as much and i might have to have something different for breakfast that will be more satisfying... snacks, i forgot the vitamin waters....total 200

lunch: 400 healthy. salad, chicken, veggie chips - healthy fat.

snack: 180 horrible but satisfying ices and a yogurt. really around 200..

total before dinner: 800

dinner: grapes 80, 2 veggie pizza burgers 240, 2 red peppers 100, tomato 30, lots of eggplant with light spray oil and leaks that i cooked in the microwave 200 at most...650 at most. whatev. i wanted 1200 today, but this is what i ate, and i'm happy with it. like i said, whatever.

total cal: 1450. ok.  and some kombucha. 60 more.  so 1510.

exercise: some upper body weights and 21 minutes elliptical. i decided it was getting late and i needed to get home, lol.

exercise: weights for my upper body, situps, (no pushups, my knee will break!) and maybe a walk. cannot be strenous today. i don't feel great.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

balloonlady on 08/03/2009:
Just wanted to say hello again, Hope you get feeling better!


hollybelle on 08/04/2009:
Good morning, sunshine! Congratulations on the good day!


grumpy on 08/04/2009:
Thanks for the compliments, HOP! I don't know, i just feel like I am losing control again. I will definitely work on that today and all this week. Congrats on the recent loss. xoxo


Donkey on 08/04/2009:
Thanks for the words of support on my blog. It's funny because we're at different points in our lives, yet we are walking a very similar path. I know a few women who have overcome binge-eating by allowing themselves to eat more during the day, throughout the day, in a more balanced fashion. As a younger woman, you can still do this and lose weight. I know you do that thing with averages, but perhaps you might consider something like 1800-2200 calories a day and see what happens.


halley on 08/04/2009:
I think Donkey may have a good point about eating more during the day. Sounds like you need to rest your knee.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Aug 02, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

friday cal: 5,000 ugh ugh ugh., saturday cal: 1200, sunday cal: 1440. 

3 day weekend average: 2547. too high. need some more days to balance the daily average out.

breakfast: 150

light lunch: 120 + powerade = 150

snack/turned into late, healthy lunch with 2 cookies: 660

dinner: 2 red peppers 80, romaine 50, eggplant rolletes 350 total: 480

total: 1440. good.

exercise: 30 min challenging elliptical in AM, back/abs/pushups, 30 min fast walk in evening.  light stroll with grandma. a good day all in all.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

halley on 08/03/2009:
I'm so glad that you got back on track over the weekend. What a relief that must be for you. Good job.


Donkey on 08/03/2009:
I agree with halley! So when do you start up school again?


mama_nurse on 08/03/2009:
You are doing awesome......congrats!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Jul 31, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

sunday edit:

friday cal: 5,000 ugh ugh ugh., saturday cal: 1200, sunday cal: 1440. 

3 day weekend average: 2547. too high. need some more days to balance the daily average out.

breakfast: 150

light lunch: 120 + powerade = 150

snack/turned into late, healthy lunch with 2 cookies: 660

dinner: 2 red peppers 80, romaine 50, eggplant rolletes 350 total: 480

total: 1440. good.

exercise: moderate. rainy day = less exercise. its ok. going to see grandma. making sure i have healthy foods with me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

saturday night:

1200 cal today. lots of exercise, sorta. outdoors. beach, etc.

time between this binge and last is about 9 days. (this is for my own record).  total calories extra i've had since my return from vacation: around 5500.  total calories i could have lost since vacation: again, around 5500.  No progress bc of my binging.  Otherwise, I could have managed over 1.5 pounds lost.  Although my weight is over 133, it is due to bloating.  I MUST move foward.

saturday morning edit:

breakfast: marino chocolate italian ice, coffee: 150.

 i woke up twice throughout the night to pee.  it looked cloudy and absolutely disgusting. full of all the garbage i ingested.  probably full of sugar that my body could not handle.

i am "embarassed" to say that I messed up again.  a bit angry at myself for actually giving into a binge and skipping a party i planned to go to.  upset that i worked REALLY hard to lose weight this week, would have been around 1.5 pounds, too. I now have one month till September. I will not give myself a weight goal, but, I can still think about what I may be capable of.  I have been binging all summer and I am not content with it.  I am upset that I cannot manage my behaviors yet. too bad i didn't get a call from the psychologist yet to make an appointment. they're overbooked.

about 30 days left till September.  My 27th bday is 9/9/09. hmm...that is 39 days.  I can lose an average of 5 pounds by then. yeah, it doesn't sound like much, but that is what's feasable. and not just a lofty dream.

i feel like crying.  but of course i won't.  it's just spilled milk.  I am not happy with my weight right now.  I was thinking by 27, like 25..and 26...that i would have my weight managed.  but no, my weight will not be "under control" by my birthday. It'll be in the upper 120s, hopefully lower than 130 if I stay dedicated.

Last summer, late August, I was in my lower 120s. So I'm behind.  But why I am looking backwards.  That's one of my habits. Always looking at past successes, rather than working for new ones.

I am looking foward to a nice Saturday today. Last night was horrible. I even ate some brownie mix, that i didn't even prepare correctly. ugh.

My stomach is bloated, my body is worn to the core. At almost 26 years old, 9 years of binging is wreaking havic to my body. I cannot handle it as well as I once did.  I don't want to end up in the hospital one day like the patients I do Xrays on. 

I am working on it.  Boy is this a difficult process. Binging is not an easy habit to break.  All I can say is this weekend will be enjoyable, therefore no reason to binge.  yesterday was a wash. but i guess i need to move on from yesterday.

so there. most of next week is "recovery" from last night's high calories. after that, next 3 weeks of August will be weightloss weeks. Next week i'm also back to school, the classroom. i could cry about that one. too bad we didn't get one more month of hands on only, before testing begins again. leave it to  my teachers to start again one month early. blah.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

shiiiiiiit. i binged. blah. my old habits are far from gone. 5,000 cal.  this means a gain of one pound (in one day!).  i will NOT focus on eating really low tomorrow, but just on eating for that day.  one day at a time...

instead of going out tonight, i'm staying home, bloated, tired, really full. tomorrow i'll be at the beach, and going out tomorrow night. i exhausted myself and overdid it today on lack of eating, or eating the wrong things, and i overate just now...

reason for overeating: lonely (parents are out of the house this weekend which makes me usually binge more when i'm alone in private), being tired, stressed, too many plans. exhausted.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

200 breakfast, snacks: ice pops, sf and sugar, coffee, later vitamin water diet kind

300 lunch. very good so far seasoned corn, pickled/vinegared beans, salad.

total so far: 500 great.

snack later: ice pops probably.

dinner: who knows.

plan: gym or bike, party tonight. :)

looking foward to a fabulous weekend.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

halley on 07/31/2009:
What kind of party? I have nothing fun on my agenda for the weekend except workout. I'm jealous!


halley on 07/31/2009:
So sorry to hear about your setback. Just try to re-group. Feeling guilt only makes it worse. Deep breath, relax, start over.


catepillar on 07/31/2009:
I love your plan, one day at a time!


catepillar on 08/01/2009:
Hey dear, we are having a meeting in ten minutes and would love to have you! http://oa12step4coes.org/meetings.html Scroll down on the left side and when you see "Meetings" click on that and the times will show up and then just click on the chat room link! I wanted to make sure you knew you were being thought about :)


jon'smom on 08/01/2009:
Don't give up. I gained back all my weight and now I am starting all over again. We can do this together. Take care:)


Donkey on 08/02/2009:
Please don't feel embarrassed. We are here to support you. Sounds like you are doing well so far.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Jul 30, 2009
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

today was another good day.

breakfast/snacks: 200  ices, coffee, later some sugar free stuff.

lunch: 400  lots of beans, salads, some dressing, diet snapple.

snack: 150 ices, sugar free and sugar versions. satisfying!

total before dinner: 750

dinner: a bit large, but ok by many standards. 700. healthy veggies but large amounts and the microwavable meal had 350.  total of 700 for dinner.

total today: 1450. good.  :)

exercise; hour walk. :)

goodnight...

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/30/2009:
Good day! YAY! I like the sound of this post. Those ices sound good. I love popsicles in the summer. Oh, oh - now I want some!


halley on 07/31/2009:
Sounds great - I have a few microwave meal, but I rarely eat them - kinda sounds good. Not like the old days - they've come a long way!


h82bfat on 07/31/2009:
I'm so glad to see you're "back on track". It's so easy to let outside forces derail us (especially when we don't even know what the "source" of the moment is!). Thanks for being here every day - good & not so good - it helps me say to myself "if she can do it - I can TOO!



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