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Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Nov 19, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

 

total calories: 3200. on a 1-10 scale, i rate this day a 2 with 1 being worst, 10 best. I must think more positively about everything. there is NO reason that 26 yr old female such as myself should be having such a hard time with everything.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i thought i was going to do better but did give in a bit today. no yoga because i am just plain exhausted. i went to bed really late bc of studying/and binge procrastinating.

today: breakfast: stomach was full but body hungry. 200 cal peanut butter.

snack: part of an apple 40

lunch: dried fruit/nut mix small package 270

snack: protein bar, green drink 310

another snack: 2 red peppers80, tea....sleeve of ritz 600, cereal w. almond milk: 450, choc. raisins: 230.

total: 2180ice cream....2800.

lots of water today. my calves are bloated and hard as rocks with the fluid they are retaining. so bad. because of binging.

 

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/19/2008:
looks like a better day. i am so sorry that school is stressing you out so much! i wish there was something i could do or say to help. take care of yourself my love


skinnyjeans on 11/20/2008:
I hope you are having a great Thursday, HOP! :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Nov 18, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

i did none of which i said i would. binged like CRAZY. multiple foods at multiple fast food places. something in the 7,000 or more cal. today.  you'd be sick reading what i ate, trust me. obviously no yoga. i'm having trouble yet again. i can tell you why. i procrastinated studying for an exam tomorrow. we voted in class yesterday that we should have two tests in a certain class this week instead of one. and i'm having a difficult time memorizing everything in just 1.5 days. it's just about 100 terms for diseases/structures of the cadiovascular system. they all sound the same and are difficult to remember. i obviously voted to have ONE test on FRIDAY! not tomorrow and friday! and, the people that voted for TWO tests are the students that get the LOWER grades in class. eh, i should have not acted like i did today.

i'm having trouble right now. and all the binging i did will surely not help me tomorrow or any other day.

(assortment of foods (several selections from each place!): mcdonalds, pizza hut, taco bell, baskin robbins/dunkin donuts. subway during lunch. and a muffin midmorning. i feel soooooooooooooo sick. and it's my own fault!) :(

i'm a bit sad and sorry that i cannot report better things right now.

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/18/2008:
Donkey still loves you. Look at it this way, if you were sick from the flu and had to take these tests, would you feel any different about the situation? You need to take care of yourself... (((hugs)))


belly on 11/18/2008:
My Lord, I haven't been on this site in ages, and you're still here. Something about familiar folks is reassuring. (I regained 25 lbs this year-so ticked)

As far as your binge, don't worry, it happens to the best of us. And maybe keep your studying in mind to help deter you next time. All that junk surely makes you sluggish and not thinking clearly. I know all about cravings and binges, but try to learn from each one and how you can substitute, or tell yourself, to stop even halfway. Good luck tomorrow. As Chicken Little says, "tomorrow is a new day!" (sorry, my kid watches that movie over and over, so I know the script)


Jen40 on 11/19/2008:
OMGosh I can't imagine the stress! I guess that's why after h.s I wasn't a student? lol College is in my future someday, but I know it will be super stressful and I'm not looking forward to that part. Hang in there!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Nov 18, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

today is a new day but i cannot forget my stupidity yesterday. 4500 calories, almost 4,000 all at once.  i didn't sleep well because of it and i am very bloated. my hands are swollen. everything is. today is an important day and i will probably be sweating all day. just like an alcoholic, my body works hard to process all the food and i end of sweating from just a little amount of movement.  i don't need you guys to give me kind thoughts on how to make it through - you've done all that. i know what to do. YOGA works. i should have went yesterday, even though i wasn't in the mood. because after yoga, i always feel better. i can't believe i made such an illogical choice to stuff my face.

so, i have to write it again. 4500 calories yesterday.

today:

today: breakfast: green drink,apple

snack: apple

lunch:

snack:

yoga.

dinner: salad,tofu.

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

WI3 on 11/18/2008:
Just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy Tuesday! Keep moving with a forward motion. If we get caught up in yesterday, we never see today and we never realize the future.

Hang tough! And go to YOGA! =)


loveray on 11/18/2008:
yoga is the key!! good for you for noticing what works. i know you will get through this day with flying colors!


thinnside40 on 11/18/2008:
I'll sweat with you!.... When I get on the Gazelle/Treadmill....

Have a good day my friend!


grumpy on 11/18/2008:
I love how you deal with it though, girl. I am right there with you, i know how the workouts help me and are perfect antidote for a bad day foodwise or emotionally, but i still drag myself or dont go at all at times. gee... love u!


skinnyjeans on 11/18/2008:
Good luck today...you can easily get back on track. Get some yoga in, then you will feel great again! :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Nov 17, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

ohhhh. wow did i mess up and continue to do so into the night when i saw my dad brought home a cake. i had some pumpkin/nut bread thing around 8:30pm and actually spit out the last bite because it simply wouldn't fit in my stomach. the stupidity of it all! i will say 400 more calories.

today was 4500 wasted stupid calories. i could have had 1500 and would have been just as happy - if not happier. dumb movie, jackie. try again tomorrow. let's see how long i can go without binging!

++++++++++++++++++++++

the teacher brought in some brownie/pumpkin cakes. i didn't want to have bc they really did NOT look too good. believe me. so i didn't. but the stress of the day caused me to binge once i got home! and i should have went to yoga. even though tomorrow i will feel fat and bloated, i will go to yoga. i promise. it'll be hard, but i'll do it.

___________________________

 

i will now look back and see how many days i went without binging. i was actually feeling thinner and better, until this evening after binging. 4150 cal today. approx. it'll take two days to even that out, at least.

 nov. 4 @ 4500 calories was the last time i had a wreckless devasating binge before this evening's binge. today is the 17th. so, it was 13 days ago. almost two weeks. wow. must do better, right? i can't even go 2 weeks without binging?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

not a good day by any means. i was not having a good day emotionally. not actually sure why. it could be lack of sleep.  in class, we were mostly doing things that were too easy or that i didn't know (along with the entire class) we would be doing so i wasn't really prepared. feeling nasty today and coming home was a binge.

bran/smoked thai flavored tofu: 240

snack: coffee,tea,apple: 140

lunch: tea w. milk, flavored oatmeal (horrible lunch!) 220

snack, leading into binge: lg apple150..........a small piece of salmon from last night's leftovers: around 250??....acorn squash 80, yogurt: 120, pb400, ice cream500, flav. yogurt 170, almond milk50, bad tasting choc30, choc. raisins 230, sleeve of ritz500...tortolleni/ravioli:600...total:3080...more chocolate, cookies: 4150...CAKE. 4500.

 

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/17/2008:
aww man. what happened love?? xoxo


skinnyjeans on 11/17/2008:
Just get back on track tomorrow...soon today will be history and you can look forward! Also, you didn't binge for 13 days in a row which is fantastic!


thinnside40 on 11/17/2008:
I had a horrible day last week, cause of the Pre-munchies!..... I will wish for you a better tomorrow and each day from there to get somewhat better....

Get some good rest tonight!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Nov 16, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

late night snack: small plum and an egg. still a good day, although i should have went to sleep and not eaten!

total cal: 1610.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

I had a lot of salt today, pretty much the uppermost allowance of it, but otherwise i consider today a success.

snacks at grandma's: fruits 120 and later a microwavable popcorn that i brought because it lasts awhile and if i have it with water it can be filling!. 250, no tea. not sure if i will ever have tea there haha. it's too hot without the tea! :) total 370

snack on way home: wheatgrass ounce 10

dinner: LARGE salad. 1 massive red pepper 100, two small yellow peppers60, 4 small cooked brussel sprouts from my mom20, spinach20, serving of thai style baked tofu 180.  satisfying. total: 380. yum.

total for today: 1490. all things considered, a day that i am very proud of. continued success is what i look foward to.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so i stepped on the scale this morning and to my dismay it was back around 135! yuck. maybe it's from the salt yesterday. I had a lot between the veggie burgers and mexican dinner. still, i would have liked if it said 132. i guess i'll have to wait. i soooo want to binge on bread and pb right now but that will just push off my progress, right? so i won't. and in the back of my head i know that binging is just not healthy and shouldn't do it no matter what i wait. easier said than done.

breakfast: bran crackers 60 that i put into almond milk45, 1/2 block tofu175, tea. total: 280.

snack: packet of a "blue lightening packet" and another one later after yoga. 50.

lunch: LARGE iced coffee, dunkin donuts egg sandwich. 400.

snack: TEA TEA TEA TEA. did i mention tea? this is what i will have if i feel the need for food at grandma's house. this is all i will have. no cookies or treats today. none. alright...and a piece of fruit if i need it.

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

Jen40 on 11/16/2008:
Tea! More tea! lol Have a wonderful day!


skinnyjeans on 11/16/2008:
Yep...salt will do it. Drink some cranberry juice and a bunch of water today and re-weigh tomorrow. :)


WI3 on 11/16/2008:
Chocolate is a trigger food for me. If I have any in the house, I will eat it all in one day. No lie. I try not to have it in the house, and if I do, it is a single candy bar or something. Heavy toll it takes on the calories allowed in one day, but less likely to binge when it isn't here. I don't really like to go out of the house looking for food lol. Hope you had a great time at grandmas!


grumpy on 11/16/2008:
Good luck at Grandma's house, those can be hard! I love it that you stopped yourself from binging when you felt like it. My goal now is to cut sugars and simple carbs, so I stop craving unhealthy foods. :) xo


grumpy on 11/16/2008:
I saw Synecdoche, New York, and you?


loveray on 11/16/2008:
looks like you are really tuning into the binge cycle!! good for you. presentations are given to the students who are also in yoga teacher training with me. a very loving, but hard audience to please!! it was a success and i am done. yay! xo


kzirkle on 11/16/2008:
TEA! lol :)


selina on 11/17/2008:
Hi HoP! Glad you had a great weekend! You are so sweet to visit grandma so often. Have a great week...


thinnside40 on 11/17/2008:
Have a wonderful Monday!....



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Nov 15, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

lol. so dinner wasn't healthy really. not the greatest. it was a mexican salad with nachos and cheese on the bottom. some grilled shrimp (which were HORRIBLE!) and some great guacamole and salsa, black beens. overall it had it's healthy elements but it was high calorie. i have no idea how much but i can only guesstimate. i chose it over a boring salad and now i will not binge tonight! so all is good actually.

total calories today: around 2000. :) happy about this because i did not binge.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

woke up a bit too early i think. it was before 7am. but i feel alright. pretty rested.

breakfast: bran cracker, pb, some green drink, almond milk, tea. 200.

yoga. green packet in my water during yoga. 25

lunch: way overboard but generally healthy. i took a lot of food so that I WOULDN'T go back for more!  steamed vegetables 80, two morningstar veggie burgers220, 1/2 pack tofu175, 1/2 cup cranberries30. everything mixed together. kombucha60. total: around 575

movie before dinner

total cal before dinner: 800. pretty good. calories will remain in a healthy range today.

dinner out. something tasty but different.

 

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/15/2008:
it sounds like you are hitting it on the mark these days! yes, 2 presentations at the studio for my training. another big one tomorrow, so send good juju. hope you had a wonderful evening out! xoxo


thinnside40 on 11/15/2008:
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Nov 14, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

breakfast: apple, green drink 170

lunch: kashi bar, tea, flavored water: 250

snack: lettuce, vegetable soup, tofu: ...bran/almond milk...410

total so far: 830 ok.

dinner: out for mom's bday.  something healthy though.

dinner was good, but large portion. not too large not unhealthy. large piece of salmon w. some kind of brushetta tasting sauce, with tons of steamed vegetables and a small bite of apple pie. sheesh. i'm not sure on calories.  my guess is around 900.

total calories today: 1730. i'm totally happy with this. 30 minutes at gym on elliptical.

tomorrow i will go to yoga in the am. followed by a movie and dinner later in the day. going out to eat and hopefully very healthy again. i would love some fish or a lean meat as i don't eat that during the week (i don't cook fish/meat for myself) so i end up eating lots of tofu and other less protein rich foods. lol, so when i go out, i try to order things i don't eat at home! :)

i will try to continue my good eating pattern and stick with this yoga, although today i couldn't make it!

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

skinnyjeans on 11/14/2008:
So what is your green drink? A vitamin drink? :)


thinnside40 on 11/14/2008:
Oh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Your patience comment to ME...... I AM NOT the most virtuous in the patneince department no doubt.... I have to restrain myself 90% of the time, as I have a short fuse.....I think that is why I am tired most of the time is from having to make myself be patient.... Zapp-o's me!

Have a spectacular time with celebrating your mom's b.d..... NO LEFT_OVER CAKE!!!!!!!! ; o )


WI3 on 11/14/2008:
Happy Birthday to your mom! You keep hanging in there, we'll watch movies together LOL


skinnyjeans on 11/14/2008:
Those green drinks both sound like great "super foods"! :)


Agent_Guber on 11/14/2008:
Sounds like you did AWESOME!!!


selina on 11/15/2008:
Enjoy yoga and your mom's birthday! Happy weekend to you!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Nov 13, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 133.0

today was a bit nutty - in an overall good way.

i woke up early with less appetite than usual.

breakfast: green drink. w. protein, apple: 170

lunch: kashi bar, tea w. milk: 200

snack: large popcorn and tea: 250

dinner: salad: WHOLE avocado, lettuce, whole tomato, whole big red pepper, 1/4 block tofu. 500 approx. :)  LOL. and kombucha. 560 very filling but healthy. i really wanted the healthy fats from the avocado as i haven't been eating enough of them.

total cal: 1180.  and yoga :) 

today was a trying day. i don't even have the energy to discuss it right now.

 

someone at school/work was really sad and i felt horrible for her. she just got divorced (abusive husband) in july and her mom/grandparents are deceased. she has a young daughter and for the holidays she has little people to be with. she has to let her daughter go to her ex on christmas morning. i feel really bad for her because she IS a VERY VERY kind hearted person who doesn't deserve such harshness of life.

i also was upset over something of little importance. I didn't have enough cash to buy my lunch. the hospital doesn't accept credit or debit which i think is INSANE. so, the woman told me i couldn't pay her back tomorrow. so, i had to return most of my lunch being left only with tea. so i settled down in the lobby of the hospital and then walked to a deli for the remainder of my lunch. i was hoping to study but instead i was frolicking from place to place in the rain. lol. no biggie but i think i will have to watch my cash better now or i'll be left lunchless unless i go where debit is accepted! lol.

what else? i'm doing pretty well and my confidence is high right now. my mom'd bday is tomorrow.  i got her a glass dish and potpourri for her bathroom. hopefully she'll like it.  she can be picky with scents but she can ALWAYS return it. 

Progress as of today: -8 lbs lost so far, only 18 lbs to go!

grumpy on 11/13/2008:
That's a good way to lose weight, never having cash. hahaha

my breakfast was a chicken biscuit and a piece of a donut. naughty. but i got to the studio and they have tones there. argh. anyway, better days to come. i am certainly having a hard time right now.

now you milady, looks great and i can totally feel your confidence and control. i am cheering for you here. xoxo


skinnyjeans on 11/13/2008:
Thanks for the comments! I got lots of veggies in today, too. Really, just lots of food. :) I love avacados, too!! YUM.


loveray on 11/14/2008:
you too love! looks like an awesome day for you!! xoxo



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Nov 12, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

yay i figured it out! i have a new entry! :)

wednesday: not sure how to make a totally new entry on this new DD system!!! lol. i'll have to figure it out later so i'll just post on this older entry.

breakfast: peanut spread, yogurt, bran, some green drink: 400

snack: apple 80

lunch: kashi bar, tea: 230

snack: another different kashi bar, some kombucha: 320 :)

dinner: prob lots and lots of veggies, tofu. kombucha. gum. 400

total: 1430 wow. awesomeness. such a great feeling. to go to yoga, come home, shower, relax for a bit. study for a little. yes.

yoga...and loving it once i finish! :)

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 11/12/2008:
TaDa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....... What a great day you have had....

Pumpkin Oatmeal... Hmmmmm, not sure if mine & rachels is the same... I don't do LaFemme's steel cut pumpkin oats in the crockpot... Not sure what Rachel does...



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Nov 10, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

tuesday: breakfast: 400 lunch: 300 snack: 300 dinner: 400 total: 1400 GREAT! yoga :)

i feel a wisdom tooth possibly coming in! uh oh! i can't afford surgery to remove it now!

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ breakfast: weird. two morningstar veggie burgers, yogurt on them, green drink 380 snack: apple 70 lunch: soy chips, tea 200 snack: shot wheatgrass, green drink, protein bar: 360 it was hard looking at myself in the mirror during yoga. yuck yuck yuck. but if i continue to go and care more about my health, everything will improve. today is one step in the right direction and tomorrow can be another. dinner plans: soup, spaghetti squash, celery, tofu (all a bit much but alright)375...followed by, i had a craving, a type of protein/natural food bar. 230 had to do it. total: 605 alright. not the best, not the worst. pretty healthy. total today: 2120 it's ok...binged on 2 more protein bars. tomorrow: a lighter breakfast than today's which was actually kinda GROSS. probably a green drink and something or another. tomorrow's plan breakfast: 2 eggs on 4 bran crackers 210, green drink 100. 310 snack: maybe an apple. water. busy day meeting some new people at school. lunch: SOY chips with tea. 200 snack: green drink and bar? 350? YOGA! dinner: better than today. please! tofu on veggies (primarily red pepper) w. warmed cranberries.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 11/10/2008:
good plan, HOP! love to you


loveray on 11/10/2008:
JUST a suggestion: i am not sure how you make it through lunch with just the soy chips! maybe adding some protein calories to the lunch will fill you up more so you dont have the urge to binge @ dinner...used to work for me. xoxo


grumpy on 11/11/2008:
yogurt with burger? you freak. hahaha

i agree on your comment, i didnt mean stop having fun, i should be having fun, but what i am currently doing that i need to stop is eat unhealthy for fun and skipping working out to do something fun... that's not good. I will come around, come on me! haha. xoxo


skinnyjeans on 11/11/2008:
1400 cals and a yoga class! Perfect day!


hollybelle on 11/12/2008:
YAY! Great day. Let's get on a roll, shall we?


thinnside40 on 11/12/2008:
Click on the pen beside the pair of glasses and it will appear "my diary"

Have a great evening!


ddwebmaster on 11/12/2008:
The link to start a new diary entry is located inside the box at the top of your "my diary" page. There are 2 links directly below the search box that says "Last 7 days". It probably needs to be better positioned, but I've been in kind of a hurry just trying to get the functionality working.


thinnside40 on 11/12/2008:
My Diary ~ Last 7 days chart monthly averages START NEW ENTRY

SHould look like this a bit... When you click on that pen, it will take you to where it says like it is above... T"chart monthly averages" & "new entry" is in a faint grey color...



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