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Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Dec 25, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 145.0

late edit: around 2100 today.

just found out i'm going to a wedding come mid April. It would be a MAJOR reunion with many many people from childhood. if this is not a motivator, nothing is. four months....main goal is to look HOT on that night. with a lovely dress. the end.  (or i can even use a dress i bought for a christmas party not too long ago and just take it in if need be - spend less $ which is good, too!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating today!

breakfast big sandwich on a long roll 450 with pb200, greek yogurt50, banana100...green drink100  total: 900 followed by granola w. milk 550

total: 1450

holy ----! i just stepped on the scale...11:45am. and it says i weight a whopping 145 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy mother! omg! The most i ever weighed in my life was 135...and the scale said 145 this morning. oh wow.

that did motivate me....and take away my appetite just now. sheesh!

so now i've looked at my monthly averages in terms of weight on here. i was doing pretty well it seems, in July and August. if only I had kept that up! Right now, 123 would be amazing. 

could you believe i have gained that much weight since the summer? 20 lbs!?

i don't even see it. i'm blind to this weight. my eyes are not noticing it as much as it is truly there.

and yes, i'm still on that journey to stop binging. i figure that this morning wasn't a binge per se.  My goal is to NOT ever eat over 2,000 during my break. which i'm still doing well on despite a huge breakfast.

more of my thinking out loud:

turn my food obsession into an obsession on my body through yoga.  6 months till summer. one pound a week approx, 24 weeks = around 25 lbs. So I know i'm bloated now (hopefully!). so starting this morning, i've been on a journey to lose around 25 lbs by the end of june. i've got to remember it's not that far away! 145-25 = 120.  and then by summer, 115.  and i guess, if i'm SMART, i'll try to maintain the 115 for awhile.  because going any lower might just put me in some sort of upward spiral again.

so, now to reiterate, my calories will be 1400-1500 on most days with yoga most days as well. If i get myself to go - to stick with it - I'll reach my goal. basically that means no more stress eating because of a test or exam or whatever you want to call it. I must stop now. This is a great time to stop, as I'm on my break. There's no yoga today so I will begin tomorrow - and I will go 2X per day as much as I can except for like new years.

i need to follow through, to acknowledge that I can and will succeed. but i need to try, not just say i will - but actually do it.

Progress as of today: -20 lbs lost so far, only 30 lbs to go!

teriyaki on 12/25/2008:
What a wakeup call! Hears to looking hot in April :)

You can do it


Jen40 on 12/26/2008:
Well, youve certainly got great motivation! I had not thought about summer coming up, but it really is!!! I want to get the rest of this junk outa my trunk and I do have the time to do it starting right now. Let's both just DO IT.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Dec 24, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

merry christmas eve and thank you to everyone that celebrates Christmas because that gives me some days off!!!! :) haha

loads of calories today too. around 4000.

exercise: not sure.

now i'm on break. started it out with a binge which is the usual of how i react when i'm exhausted and sleep deprived. and alone.

i will make sure that these next 10 days do NOT include a binge. that is my first goal for my days off. I will NOT be drinking on New Year's Eve because i seriously need to watch what i'm consuming each and every day.  I will try the lower carb approach. not necessarily too low carb, but enough.  i'll stay away from grains and milk/yogurt products this week. these shouldn't be too hard for me since i'll be off from work. now i just have to stick to it.

once returning to work, i'm going to try to stick with this plan. and if i do, i can be a lot healthier come spring time. but that means i have to start now...and not continue to binge.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

teriyaki on 12/24/2008:
Hope your next ten day go well. It helps to have a specific goal like that.


thinnside40 on 12/24/2008:
Thank You for the wishes......

Keep the positive thoughts up for this time of break & take care!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Dec 23, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

binged after work.

total cal: 4000-5000 calories today.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

selina on 12/24/2008:
Don't give up, HoP! Warm hugs and positive thoughts to you!


starfish on 12/24/2008:
It's ok sweetie. Back on track. Be gentle with yourself.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Dec 21, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

monday: breakfast: cookies 400 lol (when i came home today after work, after much debate, the rest of the mostly full package went down the sink drain...)

snack: green drink 100

lunch: out for a primarily healthy chinese: part of an egg roll, seaweed salad, raw fish assortment. 700

snack: powerbar w. extra protein 250

dinner: will be healthy because my body NEEDS it! salsa appetizer. 50 green beens, greens, tofu: 250

(in the past approx. 37 days, i've binged approx. 21 of them)

total cal: 1750 or so.

exercise: short walk on treadmill...

_______________________________________

 

 

sunday: breakfast: cookies. 850 cal.

it may sound like i have lost it. but i'm still going.  i have 3 days of school this week and 3 finals. 2 of them are not even a big deal. it's just one that i'm worried about. after school, Wednesday, I will make sure to go to yoga EVERYDAY (if not twice a day). i need to stimulate my weightloss during this break so i can come back stronger than when i start vacation this thursday.  so yoga it is. Christmas day will be hard...i'll probably go to the movies. and rent a movie. lol, there's not much to do on that day...(if you don't celebrate it.)

5000-6000 cal sunday

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

sat = 5,000 cal at least.

 

still binging at least half the time...

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

loveray on 12/21/2008:
im so sad. i am praying we can get our acts together soon. best to you, xoxo


loveray on 12/21/2008:
thank you so much for your comment- i am going to try to muster up some confidence and see if i look good in anything enough to go. xoxo


teriyaki on 12/21/2008:
Hope finals go okay. Have fun with yoga. There's lots of good videos out right now, so enjoy...


grumpy on 12/21/2008:
Doesn't your yoga studio have the 30 day challenge, where they give free classes to people who go everyday? If they do, that would be a cool idea to get you motivated. If they don't, suggest it to them! Sorry about the binging. It's so hard to break bad habits, especially those that are our escape from facing the hard stuff. I would say my toxic relationship with J, where I have the guy I am in love with in some level, but he doesn't really offer me what I need, is like binging. We do need to get stronger. Yoga may really help you. I need to exercise more too. I am leaving to Brazil for a week tomorrow for xmas, but when I get back, I need to go to lots of dance classes like I did earlier this year. Xo.


loveray on 12/22/2008:
i went to drop in to the parties! a big feat for me...thanks for your help and hope you have a good week- i know what you mean with the non-celebratory xmas...get some steamed chinese food and go to a movie or 2!! xo


skinnyjeans on 12/22/2008:
Good luck with finals and enjoy yoga!! :)


Donkey on 12/22/2008:
I can't imagine the stress that you are under. i have been reading your blogs. I know you have been struggling, but it looks promising for today. Did your family celebrate Hanuka? I know not everyone celebrates Christmas. I don't go to Mass on Christmas Day (nor Easter Sunday) because I REFUSE to sit in a traffic jam, swearing at all the dumb-donkey drivers and then go into church and pray. That seems counterproductive to me. I love Loveray's suggestion. I would do that if I could, but I am hosting my family here, which means lots of food, unfortunately. KEEP TRYING!


thinnside40 on 12/22/2008:
I think that once you are on break and get into doing all the things you WANT to do, it is going to help get you back on track and keep going when you see your success in ALL areas..... Take much advantage of this free time to strengthen your confidence of knowing you CAN stick with what you set out to..... YOU CAN!..Well ALL can....Just if we would!

Good Evening!


hopinforachange on 12/22/2008:
I hope that this day is finding you doing well. Keep your chin up you will get past this. :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Dec 19, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

3100 cal today.  i have had some set backs today, yesterday, and wednesday.  i do have a goal which is to get through the weekend and the 3 days of school next week. then, i will delve into yoga big time during my break. i plan to go twice each day and focus on weight loss. i plan to come back to school in a better mindset and rested compared to where i'm at now.

so it snowed. and you guessed it, i got stressed (lack of sleep, tests, snow) and binged. yeah, again.

breakfast: 200

snacks: coffee, apple, 150.

lunch: 300 lots of diet coke.

SNACKS galore: tofu/veggies (300), chocolate (500), popcorn (250), yogurt (150), cookies (450), more cookies (200), multigrain pilaf thing (450).  crackers (150) pretty bad. (total: 

i cannot believe i am struggling this much. :(

i can only say that i need to let stress and food not be intertwined somehow.  as you can see, this is a pretty bad habit that is not easy for me to break.

 

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

petaldew on 12/19/2008:
Im sorry you had a bad day today with your snacks. Just remember to pick yourself backup and keep going. Take care. Praying about issues like this, no matter how minute they are, reall helps.


loveray on 12/20/2008:
im sorry you had a tough day, my friend! i know how it is with the lack of sleep- makes you crazy and makes you crave food to keep you going. i love what you said on my diary...so poignant! love to you my friend.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Dec 18, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

yesterday's cals: 3850. arg. that will def be in the back of my head today.

Today: breakfast: 700 before early dinner/

dinner/snack: 240, 210, 120, 400.

total: 2260 final total after more snacking and garbage. i'm taking a shower, studying, and going to bed!

tomorrow will be difficult. tests and stuff.

didn't stick to my plan today. no yoga. i was exhausted.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

here was the plan, unfortunately, i didn't stick with it...

snacks in the morning: green drinks and apple: 300

lunch: 2 eggs, salad, milk: 240

snack: bar.

dinner: tofu and salad/veggies. that's it.

goal: today in the 1500s.

exercise goal: make it to yoga. (didn't get here, waaaay too tired and hungry and needing to study.)

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

skinnyjeans on 12/18/2008:
Good luck hitting 1500 cals today! You can do it! And have fun at yoga. :)


thinnside40 on 12/18/2008:
RE: Gifts ~ Ha Ha Ha Ha !.... My mom ALWAYS bought/buys something she would like FOR us, not what we would like.... Only thing I can really think of over the years that I wanted the worst and that was a "baby alive" when I was about 11 years old... My cousin ALWAYS got what she wanted and of course she got one of those & I didn't!... BooHoo!

No matter what one celebrates/observes/worships, it is the thoughts that count way more than the material aspect. Materialism fades, whereas gifts of the heart are far more valuable....

Have a great evening!


loveray on 12/18/2008:
i think you did very well- thank you for your thoughts. you have got to try chulpe one day, i know you will love it. it is an andean roasted corn (kind of like the dried up popcorn kernels in the bottom of the bag but wont break your teeth). my place makes them with salt and scallions- its just straight popcorn in a different manner. so yummy on salads!


cybermom4 on 12/18/2008:
Looks like you're doing really good! :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Dec 17, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

650 thru work...

snacking: 250, 260, 110, 460 yeah, a bit out of hand. tired and in a horrible mood....and a sleeve of ritz..560....dried fruit, cookies, ice cream:800...more chocolate and everything else...

total: around 3850. really not so good.

i did give blood today. maybe that put me in a bad mood somehow. either way, this is enough calories for today. and i will have a good day, with yoga, tomorrow. i will prob take tonight totally off from exercise.

goodnight, all.

 

tomorrow will be a low day.

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

loveray on 12/17/2008:
sounds like a really good day! you are doing so well- i am really proud of you. xoxo


Justine6Robert3 on 12/17/2008:
Oh those ritz crackers really are good....I must make a point of not buying them again as I've almost ate an entire box myself over the last couple of weeks....and usually not just "one portion" at a time :0)

Great job on the weight loss....your really doing great, down another 5 lbs!!! I'm always impressed with how low your able to keep your calories most days....I wish I could have the same love of veggies that you have!

I had a binging kind of week-end myself...did better today but tomorrow is definetly a new day :0) I never realized how much I actually binge when I'm tired, grumpy, or stressed....I seem to have many "triggers". I don't think I ever realized how much I actual eat due to stress and emotions....and mindlessly binge when I'm clearly not hungry at all...

Oh and I'm definetly NOT in great shape at the moment but it's my goal to whip my butt back into shape.....literally....as you've commented before I often have lots of focus on my lower body and my butt (since having kiddlets I'm always fighting the gravity....don't want my butt cheeks to become part of my legs, tee-hee!) I will think of you next time I do my jumping jacks...I find they really get my heart rate elevated between sets of weights and toning exercises...I've heard this helps to burn more calories.

Your doing fantastic HOP! I love your outlook...we definetly can't always have good days. I'm sure you'll do great tomorrow! Enjoy your yoga class :0)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Dec 16, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 130.0

approx. 1350 cal today.

500 healthy during the day...and a large but very healthy 850cal dinner.

busy day....going to study...

i know i still prob weigh above 130 but i'd be happier if that's the number up there. so that's what i put up!

Progress as of today: -5 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

thinnside40 on 12/16/2008:
( o : *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~TaDa~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* : o )

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


grumpy on 12/16/2008:
Healthy day for you, Im glad. xo.


skinnyjeans on 12/17/2008:
Hi HOP!!! Good cals and posting 130 is good motivation!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Dec 15, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

2500. i started stressing on a test for Wednesday and didn't study at all Monday night in the end! dumb! once again, food will not solve the problem! 

so Tuesday will be better. :) I have my food ready and need to pick up some green drinks today after school. I should go to yoga, too.  I many be up late studying tonight since i didn't start last night!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so i started stressing about tests....and binged on cookies. 2440. but, i'm throwing the last two away - instead of eating them. oh well!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

so far, it's been a great day and i will be keeping it that way.

breakfast was later in the day: green drink, apple 150

lunch: i brought, but then went out for lunch so i'll save today's for tomorrow! i had egg whites with stir fried veggies, toast, tea w. milk. 500

snack: powerbar 240 :)

total before dinner: 890 yay.

dinner: microwavable with lots of veggies i think. not really in the mood for tofu or eggs. we'll see.

total calories should be around 1300-1400. :)

will either go to the gym or walk on the treadmill or outside....depends how i feel!

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 12/16/2008:
cheers to being back on track, my lady! xoxo



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Dec 14, 2008
(count calories/exercise/relaxing thoughts!)
Weight: 135.0

so scary: i browsed though my past 30 days to realize that FIFTEEN of them I had binged. that's exactly half. i can't believe i'm not even fatter. that is totally out of control!

_______________________________________

so i didn't splurge on dinner but i had full chicken breast along with a good amount of everything else. so, around 700-750 probably.

in total, i'll say calories are around 1500 today. i wanted 1200 but it was worth the extra calories because mostly it was in olive oil and healthy fats which are good for the skin and that's what i needed!

calories were good and i went on a nice moderate walk with grandma!

a good day. now for some studying....ugh!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

haha, my grandma said she was worried about me today because my butt was getting too big! haha. but she meant it in a VERY caring way. lol. she's glad i'm aware of it. haha.

getting hungry for dinner! today was a huge success. i am so proud of myself. that is for sure! calories before dinner are 750.  I can have 500 and still be in the 1200s after dinner. but, there are some grilled brussel sprouts with olive oil. so those along with chicken may up the total a bit more.  there'll be salad and perhaps even more vegetables. either way, i can end the day in the 1400s if i have to and still have had a great day!

i hope everyone else got through their day on a pleasant note!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I will NOT binge. I cannot binge.  this is what i have to remember this morning as i try to be productive studying. I want to go to yoga, but i HAVE to study. that's life.  I'll walk later with grandma and maybe for a 1/2 hour tonight. not a big exercise day today.

breakfast: BIG bowl fiber one with milk, small apple, green drink: 485.

lunch: 2 green drinks 170

snack: weird. but i gotta do it. same thing as lunch. 85

dinner: with parents. healthy chicken and vegetables.

the green drinks are by Cellnique. you can look it up online. they are bottled and have a good amount of protein in them as well, so they are satisfying.  they are majorly expensive, but worth it. like $4 a bottle.

need to keep calories low so i can finally lose weight. this is my game right now. i need to succeed. there is nothing as sweet as the taste of success. I want it VERY badly. i want my shape back, my body back. I want it so bad, so bad.

calories will hopefully remain around 1200 today. this is my goal. i want to keep it.

Progress as of today: -10 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

loveray on 12/14/2008:
good work today! hope your weekend was really relaxing. xo


grumpy on 12/14/2008:
yea, girl, sometimes it takes us realizing something like that and being in shock to make a change. I am always here cheering for you. xoxo


thinnside40 on 12/15/2008:
What a neat g'ma.... Mine is the same way... Doesn't mince words, but is "funny" in saying what she does to make sure to not make you feel bad.... (most of the time)

Have a wonderful week... Glad that you went back and tallied your good/bad days.... Reality can shake one up a bit, but usually for the betterment of theirself.....


skinnyjeans on 12/15/2008:
Sounds like you had a good day! 1500 cals and a walk with Grandma...nice day! :)



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