home
forums directory search about DD
Sign-in or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
Horn_Of_Plenty 1:47P
BearCountryGG 10:58A
InnerPeace 8:09A
Donkey 10/21
Maria7 10/21
legcramps 10/20
jabockov 10/06
happy-1 9/19
biscottibody59 9/12
Jayhawkjen 9/02
Puddles 9/01
tgshare 8/16
mylilsista 8/10
thinnside40 7/21
No_Tomorrow 6/15
Fitmum 6/12
Cybermom4 5/03
OhioRaven 4/27
grannyannie 4/19
greengirl 4/02
museumgirl 3/24
hollybelle 3/08
Inarut 3/04
Duaa123. 1/12
Ms.Kay 1/08

Recent Forum Topics
Can't post replies to journal posts - 2:14P 17-Sep

WEBMASTER: Replies to comments on diary - 6:16P 12-Jul

DD Future - 2017 - 6:53P 11-May

DD Maintenance - 05/14/2015 - 2:52A 25-Jul

My First time! - 2:11A 27-Apr

Shoes - 4:55P 19-Nov

view Horn_Of_Plenty bio page
Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Jul 26, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.8

in an effort to finish my term paper, which is still not finished, i have consumed 2805 calories and it isn't even noon.

Friday edit: I am so angry and upset. Living with my mom in the same house is really getting ridiculous! she is so rude and mean to me. she makes me feel horrible and offers no genuine feedback, only criticism and nasty replies. I can't move out, i don't have a job. I don't need to become homeless as well! My dad is ultra supportive. I'm so fed up with it all. I would like to look into nursing more...if anyone here has any advice about it, i'd love to hear. But, i still am working on a term paper and doing rehearsals/performances lately. that takes a big chunck of my time. i will not stop exercising. also, i am still interviewing when they come up. therefore, when the paper is done...like a week or so, i'll look a little more into nursing. right now, one thing at a time...

_________________________________________

Thursday entry:

...more and more i've been thinking about becoming a nurse...I really think it may happen. I'm almost crossing my fingers for bad luck finding a job...maybe i've gone nuts.

total calories: 1540

total July exercise: 34 hrs, 10 min

total exercise: 140 min or 2 hrs, 20 min(elliptical, bike, yoga)

Progress as of today: -1.4 lbs lost so far, only 9.8 lbs to go!

petaldew on 07/26/2007:
I am about to go into nursing, you should listen to your gut instincts about what to be in life, just ask yourself this: Is it something that makes you happy?


harleygirl79 on 07/27/2007:
I don't know if this is available where you live, but here, Hospitals like the Cleveland Clinic, University Hospital (i think) have a program where you can go to nursing school and then commit to working for them for a period of time and they will pay for it as they are desperate for nurses. Good luck to you and I know what you mean about living with a unsuportive parent. My mother was never supportive of my efforts. I moved out at 17 and lived with my father. Good luck


ad_vitam on 07/27/2007:
I wish you all the luck with your career decision. Hopefully things will be better for you and you can move out from your Mom. It's either this or to hope that she'll change, which is unlikely. It's great that your Dad is supportive.


Donkey on 07/27/2007:
I do not want to discourage you from pursuing nursing. However, you have just finished, what? 7? years of school. Do you want to put in another 2-3 years of school? I am guessing you would have to take pre-requirements in math and science (since most of your schooling has been towards the arts) before getting into the actual nursing part of it.

I have been advised to take microbiology and anatomy in separate semesters, and as your only class, too, if possible, because there is so much memorization. Your math would have to be as high as college algebra (after trig), although maybe this has changed since I've looked into programs.

I don't know if embarking on another program is the answer for you. I'm thinking right now, the answer is to get a job and get out of the house. Perhaps you could check around and see what apartments cost to rent. Then figure out how much you would have to earn to be able to afford to move out. Then start exploring other job opportunities, not necessarily in music.

I don't mean to sound negative. I don't think biscottibody means to be negative either, but rather cautious and prudent. Look at it this way, if you are to go to nursing school, that would mean another 2 years at home. Is that the answer to the problem?

As to dealing with your mom, *sigh*. I feel for you, HoP. It is very difficult to live with an unhappy parent. My mom and I were headed down that path. Things got much better once I was on my own. I'd be interested to know if she has any solutions to your "catch 22" situation. It's not like she can just go out there and get a job for you so that you can move out and you won't be around to bother her any more. If she could, then what the hell is she waiting for?



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Jul 25, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.8

interview was fine. not bad. it is quite far, just over an hour away. i wish it were more what i'm looking for. the pay would be per day, $100.

exercise: 1.5 hours (weights, elliptical) i was planning on yoga, but didn't want to devote so much time with it tonight. I may do it twice tomorrow in an attempt to really reach 50 workout hours by the end of July.

Total July exercise: 31 hrs, 50min

Total calories today were actually good considering I ate a bit much too early in the day, again. 1560 total.

if the teaching doesn't work out how i would like it to by the end of the summer, i will seriously consider becoming a nurse. Being a nurse is in the health fields, something i enjoy. I don't know about the pay though. However, if to me it is less stressful to be a nurse, it'll be worth it. I just need to make sure that I can make a living on the salary. I know i'm not getting married anytime soon...so i need to be able to support myself...for a long, long time.

Progress as of today: -1.4 lbs lost so far, only 9.8 lbs to go!

GG on 07/26/2007:
Ok so you know how you said you love brussel sprouts well OMG, do you have a Whole Foods near you?? In the winter months...probably Late October to Late March or something, in their prepared food section they have roated brussel sprouts with garlic and HOLY MOLY they are SOOOO good! I get a quart and eat the whole thing in ONE SITTING!....Some times the aftermath is not so good, especially if you want to have a social life: thank god my roomie had a boyfriend when this happened so she could sleep in his room, because MAN WAS "my horn tooting!" hahahahaha! Slightly embarassing...but in the end sooooo WORTH IT! Of course I do not eat the whole quart...just a pint (2 cups) now so things in the "tooting" department are a little better although my diet is not exactly a "FART STOPPER" hahahahahahah- To say it lightly. Wow, I giveyou a lot of credit for wanting to be a nurse, putting someone else's life in my hands just doesn't sound like a good idea! hahaha! I am glad you are not thinking about marriage anytime soon: your way to young: me too for that matter! haha! I dont feel like I ever will in the long run though because I am too much my own person and like my solitude...oh well, isnt there someone out there for everyone? haha! Have a good day, and keep eating kelp noodles! Ps. Yesterday I got a huge shipment from my North Star Bison supplier and they now have ostrich there too, I tried it for lunch yesterday and DIED! AMAZING let me tell you! Google them and see for yourself...and if you dont eat meat: your loss! hahah!


Donkey on 07/26/2007:
Nurses are so high in demand and they make a lot of money. It's not easy being a nurse though. The schooling alone is very taxing. But you would have job security like you wouldn't believe. And maybe you'd score a cute doctor :-)

Could you stand being in school for another 2-3 years?



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Jul 24, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

1990 calories. crappy.

total July exercise:30 hrs, 20 min.

today's exercise 2.5 hours (10 bike, 50 elliptical, 90 yoga.)

i'm doing ok. tomorrow i have an interview, for something i really don't want...that sounds promising, huh!?

haha. goodnight.

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

gerri on 07/24/2007:
i would bet money that if you measured yourself instead of weighing you will have lost inches .. you can't be doing all that excerise and not be building muscle and everyone knows muscle weighs more then fat ... keep it up ...it seems to come easier to you then most , i think if you focus on the excercise your doing youll have more positive thoughts ....


Donkey on 07/25/2007:
Let us know how the interview went!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Jul 23, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

total cal: 1520. good.

total july exercise: 27hrs, 50 min...i'm getting closer...

total exercise today: 170 min or 2 hours and 50 min! (90yoga, 50elliptical, 30weights) I will count yoga as 90 for the rest of the month in my efforts to reach 50 exercise hours. usually i just count it as 60, but the class really is 90 min long.

Life ISN'T good. I'm so busy...and i'm not even working!

Today i caught up on some phone calls, bills, went to the bank. Practiced my instrument, worked out, went to the library to find books for my term paper and came home, ate, and now it's 10:16. I'm going to practice more now. Probably for about an hour. Then, probably bed.

From all my worrying last week, my skin isn't good. I tend to get really patchy, dry skin around my forehead when i'm nervous and my face actually has a few blemishes! arg! I thought those were gone for good!

Tomorrow, I have practicing to do...and a rehearsal. I also have to prepare for an interview on Wednesday. I would also have to do the paper, but it has to be approved first! So, now I get to sit back and wait till the professor emails me back! I guess that's a good thing. I also want to be able to exercise as well as do yoga.

Wednesday I might be able to start my paper which i need to do so that if and when i get a job, the paper will be done. I definitely need to practice more...and i have an interview in a school district about an hour away. The job is sorta what i'm looking for...but it's a leave position and only for 4 months. I have my fingers crossed that a better opportunity will come my way....especially after all of this work that i'm doing!

i also need to buy dvds so that i can put my final exam for my other class on them. the final is a videotape of myself conducting music that adds up to about 90 minutes worth. NOT EASY. It took all weekend. Saturday and Sunday. I wrote that I exercised yesterday, but, in fact i didn't.

i'm getting really frustrated because it's summer and i have no life.

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

legcramps on 07/24/2007:
That's one of the things I hate about summer. It's so warm and all you want to do is enjoy the weather, but summer has to be the busiest time of year for me!

You need to relax, girl. I hope things get better for you but until then, just take it one day at a time.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Jul 22, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

I am making a conceived effort to eat better and exercise more.

total cal: 1950

total exercise: 0 min. (i'm getting back on track tomorrow, for sure! :))

despite my almost 3000 calorie binge yesterday, i had a large lunch today as well. this just demonstrates how I must finish this conducting videotape ASAP so that i don't have to feel stressed for an ongoing number of days. i am really trying to rid myself of binge behavior, even though i've been totally unsuccessful these past two days.

breakfast calories = 380

Lunch calories = 1100 in one sitting yikes.

I want to be at about 1900 for today's total...ok, back to work...

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

GG on 07/23/2007:
You already eat great & exercise a lot: but continue making an effort! haha! How is everything going!? Long time no talk!! You can vent to me about your "hang-ups" haha!


Donkey on 07/23/2007:
You know, I kind of look at it like this: If I'm having a particularly difficult time getting through something that is just temporary, I don't beat myself up for eating more (bingeing) as it serves no other purpose other than to bring me further down. It is not healing to do that. And what you need in times of heavy stress is a lot of healing, fortification, and nurturing. So it won't always have to be like this for you. This is temporary. It is not who you are.

And believe me, once you are gainfully employed and living on your own, things will improve for you so much, as you will have control over what is in the home and what you do with your time, food, and space.

BTW, my cousin received his bachelor's degree last year to teach band in grade school (up to before high school level). He looked for a teaching job - even part-time for a whole year. He recently got a job doing some kind of computer stuff, second shift. So his job has nothing to do with his formal education. The job has allowed him to get out of his parents' house (my aunt who is the b****) and get a condo of his own. Last I saw him, he said he hasn't practiced his instruments in quite a while.

My point is, get through this class, get through to your degree, and then see what comes along, music or otherwise.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Jul 21, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

total exercise: 25 hours. I'm halfway to my goal. I will definitely have 50 by the end of July.

today's exercise: 71 min (bike, yoga)

today's calories:2785

I want when I turn 25 in September to be like a milestone: NO MORE binging and a bigger effort to get athletically fit. I know its possible, binging is just a waste of time. there will always be stressors and i will begin to develop new ways to deal with them...even though today was BAD, it doesn't mean it always needs to be like that. I am going to make bigger efforts to achieve my desires. If i wait any longer, I'll still be saying this as I turn 30. Not a way to live...I can't! :) I'm really, really going to work on it. I need to change habits which DON'T help me rise to a higher standard of emotional living, a better place, a better state of mind. This is what I WANT. A boyfriend would be great too...but i presume that will come after i achieve my own goals? maybe? I really don't know. but, this is a start. the binge didn't even make me feel sick today...just full. it was mostly on really calorie dense foods: a whole large bag of potato chips, cookies, yogurts, candy. stuff like that. so, if i can just see past the necessity for food to give me a high so i can complete assignments and move on....well, then that would be a new beginning for me. today i am making a tape of myself conducting all the pieces of music...it's the final for this class....so, it's quite a big deal. that's definitely without a doubt what caused my eating to go into disarray.

ok, BY THE END OF JULY, 50 WORKOUT HOURS. THAT'S FINAL!

haha. calories so far: 2785. yep. i thought i would never binge again after this class ended...but, of course, my emotions took over. i am going to work on this though. I'm not gonna give up.

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

maria777 on 07/21/2007:
We have all done that...so just get back on track and you'll do fine!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Jul 20, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

total exercise hours: 23 hrs, 49 min.

Late Friday night: today went well. class is over. this week is over. i survived! i'm happy. it's time to work on a term paper for another class (we were given a deadline of labor day to have the paper in, haha.) I hope to finish it in one or two weeks.

total friday exercise: 15 min bike ride. haha. friday calories: 1400...at least that's pretty awesome.

I have an exercise goal of 50 hours this month...haha, i've got a lot more to go! I have to do about 2.5 hours of exercise per day in order to reach my goal. Yoga is one hour and i will do it everyday. What else can i do...maybe i will consider going to yoga 2x a day(i have a pass that is unlimited so it doesn't change the price). yeah, well, my goal is 2.5 hours and i will reach it.

this week was actually pretty good while i was taking this stressful class, considering i could have done no exercise!

next week: yoga everyday. weights 3x a week. cardio everyday.

yuck. tomorrow i will tape record myself doing all the pieces (an assignment for this class that just ended.) It will take about 2 hours. hmmm. maybe less?

then, i will go to the library...and figure out what composer i am doing a term paper on for my other class which ended a long time ago but the term paper is still due before labor day.

i should really practice the horn - a lot. i sound really bad. i hardly played all week because of the class.

ahh, and i want to pick up a free pair of underwear at victoria's secret...since i have a coupon for that...but, i don't think i want to do all the things i mentioned in one day. i'm tired now. time for bed.

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!


Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Jul 20, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

Friday: I'm hoping today is a better day in class. Yesterday went terribly and I embarassed myself. I wish i didn't have to conduct the band again today. today will be the most difficult, because the professor is not allowed to stop us and we have to try to get the band to follow us till the end. If the music falls apart, it'll be embarassing. i'm not good at it and who likes to be put on the spot in front of everyone when they suck at things? oh well. no turning back.

Before i started conducting yesterday, someone asked me if i'm still working in the same district. i said "no" because the teacher who i'd been filling in for was coming back. then, the person who asked me said she thought she'd be teaching elementary band in that district next year. I couldn't believe what i was hearing. it's not the same school i was in. It's a position that is not advertised and it's because another teacher has decided to move upstate. the high school band director had told this girl about the job. so, then the girl says to me "i almost have the job!" i immediately got upset and pissed off. so, i just said "well, that's a great place to work if you get the job." even though that's what i said, for the rest of the night i was a COMPLETE MESS. I did a great job where i worked last year...nothing to be embarassed or upset over at all. but, this girl just drove home the fact that i don't have a job and the fact that i'm not so good at this conducting thing (although it's way beyond the level of music that is done at the elementary/middle school levels...so even if i stink at it, it doesn't mean i couldn't do well teaching elementary.) Not having a job and being amongst so many colleagues that do...i was not having a good night to start...on one hour of sleep because i couldn't sleep and was preparing for class. It makes me never want to do anything with music ever. I was very emotional outside of class during the break. then, a friend of mine tries to comfort me and goes to give me a kiss...and he's married with a daughter! wtf!? so i told as we walked in that i forgave him for all of that...don't worry, i didn't kiss him...and i forgave him because he's a generally nice, helpful, friendly guy. some people make bad choices...he got married basically because his gf was pregnant. who knows how he feels about all of it. he's still young and not everyone makes great decisions. this week has been a terrible whirlwind and i want it to end, i want it to end so bad. and i don't want to miserably do so poorly again tonight. there are so many people there that are watching me and their perceptions are how i will be considered and very lasting. it's my last class...last time i'll be at this university and i have to say, i didn't leave in the most positive, shining, successful way that i would have liked to, i'll tell you that.

Thursday: Calories = 1740, exercise = none.

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/20/2007:
Whoa! What an emotional time you have had this summer! You are feeling all those emotions and are really doing a great job dealing with them! GEEZ on some of the things that happen, huh?


jon'smom on 07/20/2007:
What a day you had! I hope you have a great weekend! You deserve it!!!


Donkey on 07/20/2007:
Oh my. Oh dear. It must be tremendously stressful to be around people in such a competitive field, where people really like to rub it in that they have found employment. If it's any consolation, I think your response was dignified and graceful.

Perhaps your male friend was just trying to give you a consolation kiss a la "peck on the cheek"? Or am I reading this entirely wrong and he was actually trying to give you a KISS (like you see on the soaps)?

Try to keep in mind that how we think people perceive us and how they actually DO perceive can be very very different. Try to put out of your mind how you think they are seeing your performance, and concentrate on the performance itself. I know it's not easy to do, especially when it's something that's not your "forte". But you must if you are to come out of this with your sanity and self esteem in tact.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Jul 18, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

Thursday edit: BIG BREAKFAST BINGE after being up all night and getting one hour of sleep...1210 calories for breakfast! arg.

....in a few days.....exercise GALORE.

well, kinda exercise galore. i still have a research paper to write and a french horn to practice...but i sound like crap and i have a group that i will be playing with...ehhh. maybe i'll start the research paper next week, instead of this week. eh, maybe i'll do both...we'll see.

yay. the class i'm taking is MORE than halfway done. yay. yay. yay!

total calories today: 1470. wahoo.

exercise: 35 min treadmill!

comments to all of you will start on Saturday!

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/19/2007:
Why did you only sleep one hour?


weightlossyoyo on 07/19/2007:
Great on the calories and the exercise! 1 hour of sleep gezz you did better than me. I would have skipped the exercise and ate like crazy.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Jul 17, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 113.2

wednesday morning edit: in an attempt to curb my recent morning splurges for breakfast, i decided to eat a large volume of really fiberous food that would add up to a smaller amount of calories than the past couple days in terms of breakfast foods. so, breakfast was 2 cups of fiber one, one cup of light soymilk, and a packet of blueberry oatmeal. total calories = 470. much better. now, i should really get on to doing work...

late evening edit: this week i've been taking a class...sorry for the lack of comments on your diaries...

total exercise today: 30 min.

total calories: 1520.

Breakfast = 950 calories.

Progress as of today: 0.2 lbs lost so far, only 8.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/17/2007:
Hi there. Just checking in.


Donkey on 07/17/2007:
Oh girlfriend, are you OK? How was class? Thinking of you today...


greengirl on 07/17/2007:
Seems like you have been busy, busy, busy again HoP. Make sure to take time out for looking after yourself. Keep strong :o)


lafemme_loca on 07/18/2007:
FiberOne rocks !!! :-) I keep a bag in the car for emergency hunger pangs... I hope your days get less hectic ! :-)



[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 Next Page ]