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Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday May 14, 2008

Weight: 135.0

today was WAY better than yesterday.

early morning: strawberries: 70

Breakfast: cereal and milk: 260

snack: pineapple cottage cheese: 110

lunch: yogurt and cottage cheese: 200

snack: only a coffee and it was great. 60

dinner: salad, pepper with dressing. microwave pizza. yogurt. 600 calories and sooooo worth it. I like having a larger evening meal (even though studies recommend not too).

total: 1300 awesome calories. The looming interview tomorrow probably helped in keeping calories low. I also had a few errands to keep me occupied today. This is how I want EVERYDAY to be. small meals all day followed by a nice satisfying dinner.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnsidenotout on 05/14/2008:
Aha!... Did it.... As said yesterday..Thoughts are with you tomorrow!

Good Evening! ~ Thanks for the B.D> wish!


maria777 on 05/14/2008:
Now I REALLY LIKE your plan! I think calories are calories and it doesn't matter what time you eat them, don't you? 1300 calories sounds FANTASTIC!!! I think its interesting that you wrote concerning your snack...'only a coffee and it was great'...we really learn to 'appreciate' our calories when we slow down enought to 'SAVOR' their tastes, don't we? And I see you did the same thing with your microwave pizza supper...you took the time to really enjoy it and that was real good...keep up the good work!


mmuraro on 05/14/2008:
great job today! and thanks for the compliment.. that hot stud gives me a lot of headaches... sigh. xo


selina on 05/15/2008:
good job! enjoy your dinners. they look wondrful



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday May 13, 2008

Weight: 135.0

all was good until i found out that i have an interview for my summer job this thursday. boy do i have to get over eating for stress. and rlovell had the best advice...she comes home and meditates instead of hitting the fridge. so many good ideas. I will try again NOT to eat an afternoon snack anymore. Perhaps i will stop at Dunkin Donuts everyday for a coffee? do you think that could help me? remember, i eat lunch at 2. then, i could exercise after having the decaf coffee and then have dinner around 6:30. i'm going to try not snacking again. I know its more in my head than anything else.

I overslept by one hour today! It's good I live so close to work because i didn't end up being late for anything that people would notice. :) I am usually pretty good with timing and puntuality haha.

I still had time for breakfast: 240

snack cottage cheese: 110

lunch: cottage cheese and apple: 240

snack: tomatoes and amy's kitchen meal: 300

so far: 890...but i'm wanting something else...binged...4500 total today

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

maria777 on 05/13/2008:
Well, you've still got 'room' in calories for 'something else' as long as that something else is a 'smart choice'...


maria777 on 05/13/2008:
How about salad and tuna wrap? And if not full, another apple.


rlovell on 05/13/2008:
i think snacks are great! i find that when i eat the same kinds of things at the same times i do fine- its all about the routine for me. you will get what works for you and DONT keep anything tempting in the house. xoxo


thinnsidenotout on 05/13/2008:
I eat Breakfast @ 7:30-8:00...Snack @ 10:30...Dinner @ 1:30-2:00...Snack @ 4:30...Supper between 6:00 - 7:00 (depends on when hubby gets home)... I try to keep this routine daily, even on the weekends.... Trying to not allow for "triggers" and take time to eat during those scheduled times, while doing NOTHING else, but sitting & eating...When I eat on the go, I don't feel that I have eaten properly and ALWAYS want more.

I will be thinking about you in your interview and hope that all goes smoothly..


rlovell on 05/14/2008:
xoxoxo


legcramps on 05/14/2008:
Come on HoP, day by day, step by step.


mcwoo40 on 05/14/2008:
Hiya,Hope your havin' a good day,Julie



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday May 12, 2008

Weight: 135.0

today was hard in the morning after eating so much sugar last night. i felt it.

moving on! No stress is the name of the game. Although my face is definitely not looking its best due to lack of sleep all week and my "monthly guest," I'm quite happy that I don't have any more studying to do. I'm just thrilled. I was planning on yoga but now, because of what time of the month it is, I'd prefer NOT to do yoga today. Instead, I'm definitely going to the gym. Then, definitely to the supermarket bc i have no food. I especially need some milk.

Breakfast: milk and cereal: 250

snack: cottage cheese pineapple: 110

lunch: pineapple cc and BIG apple: 250

snack: cereal, fruit, milk, also a salad later on...400

dinner: an amy's meal and 2 whole zucchini 380

total: 1390 sheesh, i was hoping more in the 1200s. That might actually be too low but i'm going to continue to aim low.

exercise: just 30 min elliptical. i need to work on my sleeping i was sooo tired today after work.

I want to get OUT of the habit of having a snack after work the moment i get in the door.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

rlovell on 05/12/2008:
you sound so much like me!! as soon as i come home i freak out- or was conditioned to eating something the moment i got in. you have to make yourself have a routine of something different. mine is putting my bags down, laying flat on the floor and meditating for at least 5 mins. whatever works! you will find the food becomes secondary to solving stress xoxo


greengirl on 05/12/2008:
Good luck HoP. You know you can do anything if you set your mind to it !! We are in this together :)


maria777 on 05/12/2008:
Sounds like a good plan cause snacks DEFINITELY DO add up!


thinnsidenotout on 05/12/2008:
Have fun at the grocery store!..... I used to love going, but since prices are getting so high...I despise it!...Especially for a family of 4....AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Planning is going to be your friend!


selina on 05/13/2008:
sounds like you've got real good plans


legcramps on 05/13/2008:
Sorry you're having a bit of a rough time right now. Get some rest!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday May 11, 2008

Weight: 135.0

as i stuff myself with cake and chocolate...

So, tomorrow I'm turning over a new leaf. I have promised myself that from Monday until the end of school I'm going to diet - and diet strictly.

I am a VERY all or nothing kind of girl. I ALWAYS have been. I need to be in something 100% or I don't feel like I'm doing it right. This can be a really bad trait at times. But, I must try to use this totally to my advantage right now.

The only thing I do not want is that after I lose to weight, I completely go in the other direction and gain it all back. So, during the summer I'll have to develop healthy eating habits. I am going to try that now, but I am honestly most concerned with calories right now.

I'm a bit scared, especially after eating too much sugar at one time both today and yesterday because i'm going to feel those effects tomorrow. But, I need to start and I have very little stress for these upcoming weeks. really no stress.

The Plan for this week:

Breakfast: cereal, fruit, milk. 200-250

snack: marathon bar? 150

snack: pineapple cottage cheese and an apple 250

dinner: salad, tuna wrap or tuna and rice and bbq sauce. 400 approx.

snack after yoga: yogurt and fruit or the drink they sell there (I forgot what it's called). 200

total: 1200-1250

basically, I can do it if I stick to my goal. If I want it bad enough. If i think i'm WORTH it enough.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

maria777 on 05/11/2008:
AMEN!!!


thinnsidenotout on 05/11/2008:
We are ALL worth it, just have to believe it EVERY DAY in order to make this successful...Take that 100% credit for the success, instead of feeling the 100% guilt for failure.....

Tell yourself to your face in the mirror every morning...I am 100% worth every effort I put into myself, in order to make myself "THE BEST ME" I can be....

Best of luck H_O_P!


selina on 05/12/2008:
your plan for the week sounds great. stick to it and no looking back!


legcramps on 05/12/2008:
You know what my problem is??? It's being all gung-ho about starting something and then hardly EVER being able to actually finish it / losing interest / blah blah blah. I HATE that about myself!

You ARE worth it! Don't you dare ever think that you're not! :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday May 11, 2008

Weight: 135.0

Breakfast: 400 fruit, cereal, milk.

lunch: powerbar 150

snack: mcdonalds southwestern chicken salad 350

snack: gum, large apple, tea: 200

dinner: huge with WAY too much desert. tomorrow is going to be difficult but i'm ready to start this weightloss process.

I've got my two finals today :) I will be EXTREMELY relieved when they are finished. It's been a long, drawn out semester of about 12 Sunday classes that last 6 hours. I'm glad to have my Sundays, and more importantly, everyday back from studying. In September studying will be my job, but right now I have some time to prepare myself for the exciting expectations ahead.

I know I'll get out early from exams today. I plan to get some clothes for my grandmother. Mainly things like light cardigans and other clothes that can be worn during summer but still keep her warm.

Happy Mother's Day :)

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

mmuraro on 05/11/2008:
Hey girl, good look on your finals! xoxo.


maria777 on 05/11/2008:
Have fun with your grandmother! So sweet of you to get her clothes!


thinnsidenotout on 05/11/2008:
Sounds like a wonderful day to me....G'mas are just as special as moms are!!!!

Hoping that your week ahead is a success for you....


rlovell on 05/11/2008:
thank you, HOP. i am so proud of your efforts to give back to everyone else here when you have so much going on with finals and everything. i wish you all the success and happiness you deserve! lets both go get pedicures this week...;)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday May 10, 2008

Weight: 135.0

**shoot. I binged tonight while attempting to study for the last time. oh well. the course is finished in the morning and I will be on my way towards weightloss.** (I ended up having 5700 cal.)

i went a smidge overboard on desert (peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some crackers)lol.

total calories today are actually 2650. fine by me. test tomorrow.

breakfast: a bit much, but good. cereal, milk, strawberries 300

snack: yogurt with sugar free jelly, apple: 240

lunch: microwave meal, crackers. 350

snack: too many cookies but ok. 350

snack: apple, diet green tea from nestea (i shouldn't buy it and i don't even like this flavor/brand...but i was tempted!) 80

extra snack: marathon powerbar 150

dinner: veggies and boca microwave lasagna 350-400 depending.

1920-1970 depending.

exercise: easy walk, 30 min.

all in all a good day.

good morning everyone. It's a nice day, I'd rather be exercising, but I am finishing up studying today - before my finals tomorrow morning. After tomorrow, my plans include a FAST initial weightloss with dedication to my goal until the end of the school year, followed by emphasis in maintaining my goals throughout the summer so that I can enter my Radiography program in September feeling the best I can. For two years, I'll be in school and I need to keep my fitness at a higher level so that when I finally enter the workforce I have the stamina for this somewhat physically demanding job, I feel good, and so that I would be most desirable to any employer!!!

I know weightloss shouldn't be approached whimsically or rushed. But, other than work, I have no huge engagements for the rest of this year, although it may include a job interview for summer. yuck. But i'm not worried whatsoever.

Goals for the next 6-7 weeks: exercise daily even if I am tired. Give it my all for this period of time. Reintroduce body to yoga and stick with it although I'm not happy about how I appear in yoga clothes in the mirror right now! Calories 1200-1500 per day. I think I'm ready to just accept the fact that if I want to loose a lot, I have to eat less. The pressure of life in general is off. I will have no anxiety about tests so I can just eat less and not have to worry about performance issues on tests and "needing enough energy" to study.

Has anyone ever felt like that? Many times, I feel the need to binge more so due to anxiety than anything else when I study. Since I will NOT be studying, I think major binge issues will be put to rest for the time being. I know so, in fact. It is a goal of mine to exit this school year the same way I came in, 115 pounds. I will be SUPER excited if I meet this goal. SUPER excited. If i don't, but I am close, I will be happy too.

I have 7 weeks until the absolute last day of school. 2 lbs a week would be about 14 lbs. I will NOT weight myself until the last day of school. There's nothing I can do other than stick to my goals to reach them. Weighing will not change anything. I want it to be a surprise. I will continue to keep doing yoga all summer and through the fall.

I am rambling, I know.

In the fall, I will ONLY go to school for at least the first semester and not work. School is from 8-4pm. Weekends will be free and I will try to emphasize the need to continue with yoga on those days. What else can I say except that I am ready to leave teaching and refocus on a new leaf, a new choice for life.

I'm ready. Who knows what I weigh now or until I end school. I am excited...let these tests pass tomorrow. The best is yet to come. My birthday is in September and 26 is going to be a great year! (and so will be this portion of being 25 yrs old!)

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

mcwoo40 on 05/10/2008:
Hiya,have yourself a great weekend,Julie


thinnsidenotout on 05/10/2008:
Your 26 is going to be a great year...My 40 is going to be a great one too..Or at least the last 1/2 after I get most of this weight off....

Your goals sound wonderful and I REALLY am looking forward to seeing you achieve them...


maria777 on 05/10/2008:
Wow...sounds like you've got some busy plans! Good on getting the schooling done. Hope you have a wonderful day!


greengirl on 05/10/2008:
HoP its good to hear you being so positive about the future. Have a great weekend sweetie, and thanks for your continuing support for me (and everyone else too !!)


selina on 05/10/2008:
wow! i like what i hear. go for it! have a great weekend!


rlovell on 05/10/2008:
yum those pineapple thingies sound good...i might have to stock up for this week! hope you are well and thanks for the words...today has been really difficult for me and i am not sure why!! still able to keep control of the food, but my emotions are WHACK. xoxo


shadetree on 05/11/2008:
Good luck on your final today! You'll do fine! And I hope you get that sense of relief that I always got when I was done with exams...Always a great feeling. Have a good day!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday May 09, 2008

Weight: 135.0

yesterday i ended up having an apple at night, but still good calories.

early breakfast: cereal, strawberries, milk: 200

later breakfast: roll with peanut butter and milk: 410

snack: pineapple cottage cheese: 110

snack: pineapple cottage cheese and fruit, diet coke: 200

while shopping: low cal soda 20

snack after school: cereal/milk...later veggies and dressing:310

dinner: salad/dressing, tuna and bbq sauce, apple: 320

total: 1570 very good day, no exercise, kinda tired and i don't want to overdo it and not enjoy the weekend...some mints later on.

I am home from work, 3:41pm. I'm not hungry. I may go out to the store and to blockbuster. I don't have an urgancy to go to the gym - but if i skip it, that's not good either. We'll see. haha, i'm just thinking as I type.

funny story: I entered the office to assist the reading teacher and all of a sudden I saw something fluttery and I looked again and there was a large looking gray bird ready to attack me! I screamed and got to the floor...only problem was, she had no idea what was going on! The reading teacher didn't realize there had been a bird in her office until I entered and it started flying! haha. It was pretty funny! We had to call the custodians to get it out!

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

mmuraro on 05/09/2008:
thanks girl! i put a little fat free mayo, very watered down with capers, red onions and lots of celery, it tastes really good. i need to hold myself back, i am tending to eat a little too much lately...


mmuraro on 05/09/2008:
hahahaha that story is hysterical! the teacher must have thought you were crazy!


greengirl on 05/09/2008:
Hey HoP, I'm back following a prolonged episode of backsliding but its good to see that you are still here . Ive missed a lot but will try and catch up with how things are with you tonight. I can see ive got a lot of reading to do.


greengirl on 05/09/2008:
HoP Ive read your diary back to when you came back in April and I'm sorry you have been struggling again but I know you will find your way. Take it one day at a time , sweetheart, and do whats best for YOU.


thinnsidenotout on 05/09/2008:
Hit the deck!.... Too funny..

Hope your evening fairs out well and your weekend is wonderful!


rlovell on 05/09/2008:
you are doing so well! much progress to be proud of in one week! i want to know what pineapple cottage cheese is too...xoxo


shadetree on 05/10/2008:
I was watching 'Cash Cab' the other night, and the answer to one of the questions was bikram yoga. I shouted it out, and my husband ust stared at me..."how do you know THAT?" - and I very quickly answered "My friend HoP!"...Hope you have a great weekend!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday May 08, 2008

Weight: 135.0

I haven't weighed myself, but i'm putting it at 135. I'll start weighing myself in about a week from now. I don't want so much disappointment by weighing right now- not until after my test is done Sunday! :) My goal is large, but I want to be below 120 when school gets out, June 27. It's about 1.5 months. I will only be working in the summer, but not taking any classes, and I plan to be outside and having fun...and shaping my body! :) And, getting back into yoga with my YEARLY unlimited that I haven't used much since I bought it. I'll make up for that. :)

breakfast: hamburger roll and 2 tb peanut butter, skim milk 450.

snack: pineapple cottage cheese: 120

lunch: pineapple cottage cheese, iced coffee: 200

snack: cereal: 280

snack: tomatoes and asian spray dressing: 80

dinner: tuna with bbq sauce, veggies, rice, clementine, diet soda.

total : 1550 good day.

exercise: 4 mi walk. great exercise! :)

work went well, i stopped by Dunkin Donuts with a coworker and we enjoyed our coffees (and she had a yogurt and i had my cottage cheese haha). we had a slightly extended lunch and enjoyed each other's company! :)

rlovell on 05/08/2008:
YAY! enjoy your time with others. nice day so far! xoxo


maria777 on 05/08/2008:
I like your menu. Glad to hear you've had a good day. Big smile to you!


thinnsidenotout on 05/08/2008:
Lookin' good!....Keep it up!


maria777 on 05/09/2008:
Your 4 miles walk looks REAL GOOD, too! Hope you're having a real nice day!


mmuraro on 05/09/2008:
thats awesome that you have a yearly pass for bikram yoga! use it, girl! congrats on weighting in and such. nice menu too. xo.


glycrina on 05/09/2008:
Is it just me or has Yoga become harder? LOL! Once I started Yoga, i felt like it was impossible to give up! BTW, Tuna with bbq sauce is fantastic idea!! I think I may go get me some today. Thanks!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday May 07, 2008

Weight: 135.0

5-6000 calories.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!


Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday May 06, 2008

Weight: 135.0

I love you all for not just leaving me in the dust despite my inablity to maintain a healthy attitude for more than a day at a time.

Sunday is my last class and I agree that I should start RIGHT now being healthy. I should NOT binge all the way until I take the test. It is not necessary. The next two years, I'll be taking tests upon tests and then job interviews. Oh, and I just realized, the one program I have decided to go to does in fact accept a majority of candidates that are young like myself and in FABULOUS physical shape. I actually remember that quite well from when i interviewed there and also was taken around to observe by some current students. It would be frustrating to enter the program first day in September on a sour, depressed note. I do have a goal to change my attitude and current strategies of dealing with pain, negativity by then. I want to feel my best because this is a new door opening for me. Why would I want the door to close in my face because of my own self destruction.

I would equate my current eating/food/intake patterns to the lifestyle of a drug addict. I'm very serious. I'll do anything to get a "fix." I'll search the cabinets and closets in my house dry. I will find every last treat. Every morsel of anything that tastes good. It's getting very old. I really am an addict and although the feeling of being too full to even sleep is not a good one, my body practicially craves it. I focus on that miserable feeling, but it still blocks out other sad emotional thoughts.

I am just being honest in this entry. I am not very upset right now.

calories around 5,000.

no exercise.

studying.

I have a goal weight. It is not even questionable that it is a healthy one for me. I actually maintained between 110-115 for a least a period of 3 years. I am not weighing now to determine my current weight which is prob around 135.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 20 lbs to go!

thinnsidenotout on 05/06/2008:
Maybe you should weigh.....Just to see for the "reality" factor.....I may be wrong, but you know how good you felt at that 110-115 and how rotten you feel @ the fact of allowing yourself be that "135ish".... I know how good I felt at the 150-155 mark, but kaboshed that is self-destruction modes...I so look forward to feeling "THAT GOOD" again someday, both physically and mentally....

Have a good one H~O~P {*;*}


rlovell on 05/06/2008:
HOPPPPPP~ Hi hop. I am so proud of your honesty even when it sounds nasty to you to say it out loud! I know the feeling of just being taken over by food. It is a SERIOUS addiction and unfortunately it is the only addiction in which we cannot be totally abstinent: AKA, we have to eat to live! I am not sure what else to tell you must to breathe, learn what you are covering by eating and your triggers. If this means you can only eat out with someone portioning food for you for awhile, then do it! Dont keep anything in the house until you have maintained a healthy relationship with what you bring in. Food is a source of pleasure and of sustinence- and I have for so many years had such a negative relationship with it that it saddens me very much. Try to change one small behavior...like dont keep any food there this weekend and stay home. See what happens- a lot of emotions may start to bubble and maybe you can start the process. I love and am thinking of you! R


WI3 on 05/07/2008:
Your frustration is from my lips to God's ear. Hanging in there right with you! Take good care of yourself **hug**


legcramps on 05/07/2008:
Are you giving yourself enough time to actually relax each day??? Sometimes, being so busy and stressed out will make you even more *hungry*. Just a thought. Take care of yourself!!



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