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Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Sep 13, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.0

Friday morning edit: I had a satisfying, a little too filling breakfast. I had one third of the whole challah bread with peanut butter on it. I also had a very big slice of marble bread (really like a dense cake). Tasted great. I just can't deny myself of anything right now. I also can't eat everything all at once, like i did yesterday. haha. For lunch, I'm going to get fast food; and not a salad. Probably taco bell. For snacks, i'm not sure... Dinner...not sure. I might pick up something from the health food store. I need to work on portions and stopping when satisfied. I guess you can't be perfect all the time!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

my stomach hurts so bad i want to go to the hospital...arg!

i can hardly drink water because my stomach is so full.

total calories for today: 7900!!! crazyyyyyyyy. and i will not starve or fast tomorrow.

edit: after eating everything in my house, i bought a large fries and chicken nuggets from mcdonalds and then stopped at taco bell for a fried apple empanada...something like an uncrustable but with pie crust fried and sugary appleness/caramel inside. My stomach is entirely protruded. my sugar levels must be going crazy inside my body!

I was SUPPOSED to have dinner with family...but i can't stomach that too! It's not possible...it'd be sickening. so, i will tell them i have a major stomachache. which is true.

i exercised only 20 minutes today. tomorrow's a brand new day...and this year i plan on have MANY more good days than bad!! many!

I'm going to attempt to add up all calories for today:

woke up and had concord grapes, then same whole wheat crackers. them, i went to the gym...and had a light yogurt and whole grain powerbar before going to temple for services (Jewish New Year). all of that = 630 cal.

Then, after temple, I was too hungry and binged on lunch...should of just had bagels with lox and cream cheese with the family...and not made my own stuff...because i had both and then more! haha.

salad with light dressing...good.

egg whites mixed with oatmeal...i put it in the same bowl and microwave...it turns into a muffin/soufflee. i put no sugar maple syrup on it.

then, i had these seasoned microwave veggies...which weren't very good...so i just ate the potatoes out of it.

then, i had 3 slices of bread...300 calories.

then a large everything bagel...330 cal?

then I had a very large piece of raisin challah bread...600?

milano cookies: 14 total= 980

dried fruit + nuts = about 3 cups = 2100

3 servings chips = 420

...that's all in one sitting...i want to go out and get pizza now. ahh. i'm going to.I never got the pizza...ha. instead i got a large fries, chicken nuggets, and an apple empanada which is a really, really, really good dessert from Taco Bell. I never had one till today and i was warm and delicious! mcdonalds and taco bell = 1300 calories.

Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

maria777 on 09/13/2007:
Wow! You sound like me on vacation! (Just kidding!)

I was looking at a very small bag of mexican trail mix yesterday and was almost tempted til I read the total cals for the little bag. Those nuts and thingys really add up! I resisted the fast food places yesterday that I passed by coming back home.

I think most of eat like you did today from time to time...I think it does our bodies GOOD!!! Big Smile to you!


legcramps on 09/14/2007:
Oh my goodness, what a day you've had! I think probably the stomachache was punishment enough, huh?! I've had those before, they're nasty. Protruding stomach, sick feeling, oh yeah, i'm right there with 'ya. At times like those, I wish someone would come up to me, grab me by the shoulders and just start shaking me! The good news is that you've got all the time in the world to make up for it!

Wallyball is a form of volleyball played in a raquetball court where the ball can be hit off the walls! Lots of fun and is a great social sport!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Sep 12, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.0

Dinner: apple slice, salad, brisket/pot roast awesome!!, maple/sugar/butter lightly grazed carrots, broccoli, dessert pudding cake that was great, some fruit!! Good Dinner!

today's exercise: 1 hr, 10 min!

Total sept. exercise: 9 hrs, 55 min

(sandra...no way did i exercise yesterday for 8 hours...haha, not yet anyway! that's my total for September! haha!)

Foods: peanut butter sandwich, yogurt, bok choy, salad, egg whites, package of peanut m&ms, yogurt...and dinner with family...we shall see! You know, i'm looking foward to having a nice dessert and meal! :)

today was a good day. I've been spending more and more time with the kiddies at school. Let me tell you, these are the GOOD kids. I'm sooo lucky to work in an elementary school in such a wonderful town. It's the best I've seen yet. The kids are the sweetest things!

Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

maria777 on 09/12/2007:
Your entry sounds very upbeat. Thanks for your encouragement to my entry.

You know I passed the peanut butter in the grocery store today...haven't had a good peanut but sandwich in a LONG time! I love peanut mandm's, too!

So glad you are happy in your work at the school. That is wonderful! Big Smile to you!


Sandra aka Soul on 09/12/2007:
ha ha, ok I get it now....I see where the confusion came in, lol. Have a great day.


crategrl on 09/13/2007:
Great entry!!! I love positive statements about children!


hollybelle on 09/13/2007:
Catching up with your posts. Sounds like the job is working out OK. Did you take the PT job at Starbucks? Might be a fun place to meet people, I don't know????? Maybe?????



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Sep 11, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 114.0

exercise: 35 good minutes.

total exercise: 8 hrs, 45 min.

5:45 edit:

exercise...if i have the energy later. I made dinner early: 5:30pm. 3 cups microwaved veggies, fried tofu, whole wheat crackers, piece of italian bread. not gonna count the overall calories for today!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HI HI!

I'm off to the gym now...it's about 5pm. I just finished preparing some work for tomorrow! Thankfully I'm done!

I was on my feet a good portion of today...i think i'll need to invest in a couple pairs of really supportive shoes. even though i'm 25, i'll probably buy easy spirit or another brand of shoe made especially for protection and support. My feet are VERY important to me! :)

after the gym i'm buying chinese takeout...hopefully this time i can get it steamed...and not steamed with oil! haha. that's what happened yesterday. i'll take the rest to lunch tomorrow at school.

today's foods so far:

pb on 2 slices bread, yogurt, grapes, salad, eggplant + chicken sauteed with a little oil from leftovers last night, peanut butter crackers from vending machine (i plan on probably getting something every day! haha), yogurt, kombucha drink. I didn't have dinner yet.

not counting calories.

Progress as of today: -0.6 lbs lost so far, only 9 lbs to go!

ad_vitam on 09/11/2007:
Excellent food choices! How does it feel not being under pressure of counting calories? :):)Keep it up, you can do it! Thanks for your support,dear. You're my inspiration too. Now when I'm expanding my food choices I'm planning to try cooking oriental food which is healthier than Western in my opinion, except may be Italian.


GG on 09/11/2007:
Does it feel great NOT counting calories! It makes you feel so much LESS STRESSED! I used to count my calories too but now I say to heck with it, because when I did I just went nuts and felt guilty when I went over board!!! Oh and by the way, that eggplant and chicken sautee sounds AWESOME! You gave me an idea for tomorrow night! hehe!


Sandra aka Soul on 09/12/2007:
Am I reading your entry right....you exercised 8 hours today? I like how you wrote 35 good minutes of exercise, excellent attitude.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Sep 10, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

today's foods: trying to not count calories:

peanut butter (not measured out) on two pieces bread, yogurt, lots of grapes, salad with seared rare tuna (leftover from last night), package of cheese-its, slim fast drink as a snack, lightly sauteed eggplant and chicken chinese food.

exercise: 3.5 miles, 70 min

total exercise: 8 hrs, 10 min.

maria777 on 09/11/2007:
No, I don't know it but it seems I recall a little of it from the movie...thanks...that was real sweet what you wrote!

Congratulations on the 3.5 miles...WOW!!! That is a lot!

Have a happy, blessed day!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Sep 09, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

So, i went out to dinner with my parents. Today, I stuck to my own food and didn't splurge on the dinner. I did splurge at breakfast, though.

breakfast = 3330 calories. But, this is the end of that stupidity! LOL...I am 25 now! I think this morning was the last straw.

dinner - healthy salad with seared rare tuna...great! healthy!

exercise = 6 miles, 2 hours! yay

total sept exercise = 9 hours

ohhh, thanks to everyone for comments and continued support. I know i can sound like a broken record at times because I am constantly fighting the same battles. but, i really do think i can overcome my battles.

i am happy to report exercise is easier to fit in this school year...especially without any classes...except for a few mandatory district things. However, i might get a part time job. My mom is pissed I'm thinking of working at Starbucks because if you work 20 hours, i think, you get health benifits! yup! and i pay 235 a month just for them! That would save me a pretty penny! It would save me about 2800 a year, if i work that long. I might keep the job throughout going to radiography school. i guess i'm a little old compared to many starbucks employees.

GG on 09/10/2007:
Hmmm! You can get health benefits and Starbucks and free iced coffee!! If you are allowed free drinks & food: be aware of the bad foods!!! Good Luck on finding a part time job! I would do the same but with all these vacations in a school year my employeers would not be too thrilled! haha! Your dinner sounds awesome: I loveeeee seared rare tuna: like it is still swimming :)


greengirl on 09/10/2007:
Good luck with your battles HoP. Good luck with finding a part-time job too. Excellent exercise too :o)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Sep 08, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

the result of 5 days of binging is a 4.5 pound gain...and i'm not talking about bloating.

Edit Sunday breakfast calories: 3330! to all of you that think i'm kidding, i'm not. i counted.chips, pb, ice cream, sesame crackers...and more...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saturday evening:

Edit: i have to tell you, my female friends (there were 3 of them last night) motivated me when i saw how great they all looked (we don't see each other all the time because we're college friends). One of them, I seriously didn't recognize her because she's changed sooo drastically. They make me want to look good too! :) and i can. :O. I haven't lost focus. Not one bit. Not even after this crazy week! :) Exercise is the new name of my game! :) And, I've been doing it well already.

If i can just learn how to swim. I can swim, but I'm not good at the most important and benificial stroke: freestyle/crawl. That's the one you use for swimming laps. I have free access to a pool but unless i know how to do that stroke properly i'll have to hold off swimming. I don't even care how i look in a bathing suit haha. I wish someone at the college gym could help me. You know, i think i'm going to dish out some money for swimming lessons...starting next week. It's worth my money!

Do I need a one piece bathing suit? or can i wear a bikini for swimming laps? What i meant is, will anything happen while swimming if i wear a bikini?

total cal: ha. 6800 (6,000 at the cheesecake factory.)i had my full meal plus my own cheesecake and halves of other people's.) i don't regret tonight, actually, at all!

Today has been good. so far, 800 calories...and now i'm going to the Cheesecake Factory again for dinner with other people tonight. I think I may just get a salad so i can eat as much as I want to. I exercised and felt soooo good today from it.

exercise today: 2 hrs. I even went biking at a park along an expressway that I've never been to (but whenever I drive by i yearn to go!) and it was wonderful...i'll go back tomorrow to check out the rest of it! Then, i went walking in a park with more shade closer to home!

total Sept. exercise: 7 hours

I enjoy feeling good about myself...who doesn't!? so, we'll see what i choose to eat. I may just have a sandwhich afterall...and ask for broccoli substituted for fries...or, maybe what GG does...and get pasta (but substitute the pasta for broccoli or something...haha we'll see...)

WorkingIt2 on 09/09/2007:
Looks like that cheesecake place is one place I am going to have to avoid unless I am having a night where I just don't care LOL. I agree, I enjoy feeling good about myself as well. How fun that you went for a bike ride and walk!


shadetree on 09/09/2007:
I understand the motivation you get when you see old friends. My best friend from high school and I get together once a year for a girls weekend. this year we're supposed to be going somewhere that I could very well be meeting up with my high school crush - the first time I will have seen him since just out of school...I am EXTREMELY motivated to drop at least 10 pounds by then. (Not sure when that will be, as we are trying to agree on a weekend that works for everyone involved.)

For your bathing suit question, I personally have always preferred a one piece when swimming laps, etc. as you are less likely to lose things. but they have come a long way with bathing suits and they do make two piece suits that I'm sure stay secure - like lifeguards wear.


mcwoo40 on 09/09/2007:
Hi,you asked what sultana bran was.It's a breakfast cereal from flakes of bran Like cornflakes (but they are made of corn)and sultanas are thrown in with them.I like them soaking in ice cold skimmed milk until they go soggy,quite filling too nice, with a sliced banana.Hope things are ok with you,I'm struggling as usual.By the way, well done on the August challenge!!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Sep 07, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

calories: 6200

total Sept exercise: 5 hours

i ate better throughout the day...but then dinner came...

met up for dinner at the cheesecake factory. I ordered this Breakfast Burrito...and it was humongous. I am not kidding. I have NEVER, EVER in my whole life seen a burrito this big. It was the complete size of a platter and probably 3-4 inches in diameter across the center. At first, just looking at it made me want to cut it in half and attempt to eat one half only! If that! well, i ate the whole thing!!!

then, at the movies, i had a whole box of chocolate and almost a whole large popcorn with extra butter.

my friend said to me "you should see someone!"

haha, she doesn't tell me what to eat and what not to eat. she is a good friend and honest. that's all i care about

tomorrow is another celebration with other people. I really shouldn't give into temptation for cheesecake from the cheesecake factory. sunday i would probably celebrate with my family. ehhh, too much already! wednesday coming up is a holiday dinner as well...and Thursday and Friday. too much!

i don't want to celebrate for the rest of the weekend....i'm gonna try to pass it by. meaning, tomorrow i'll order healthier stuff and skip the cake...although my friends will try to get me to have it. I'll tell them i do what i want and not to mess with me. that's all.

as for my family, i'll tell them that I KNOW WHATS BEST for me and, just like i tell me friends, leave me alone.

whatever. I know that excess calories = excess fat. blah.

exercise = 50 min. (30 treadmill, 15 stepper, 5 abs)

Donkey on 09/08/2007:
I agree with your friend.


GG on 09/08/2007:
wow, thats a LOT of calories: but oh well, if your weight is not creeping up all that much then its ok! OOOO you went to the Cheesecake Factory: I love that place, even though all I get there is their LARGE salads with no dressing, I just like the toppings they put on the salads, and their side dishes, but then again, I am sure I can make better ones at home! haha! The Cheesecake Factory is totally known for their HUGE HUGE portions: did that burrito come in a "lunch" size protion? What is the celebration you are having today? All I can say I guess is exercise so you do not feel TOO guilty about all the food you may consume... and if you get cravings but dont want to eat any "junk" have a can of greenbeans: haha, just kidding: but that would be pretty funny if you whipped out a can of green beans from your purse with a can opener in tow. HA HA! And if you really really want to "not eat healthy"...you can fake sick? haha. What sorts of food will be served at these celebrations? Maybe we can DECODE the healthy ones and the unhealthy ones?


noelgiger on 09/08/2007:
Good luck sticking to your guns this weekend. It's hard! When I'm tempted, I try to change my internal dialogue from "It's JUST one piece of cake. And, I've been SO good, I deserve it." to "That's 600 calories. It's pure sugar. That's toxic for my body - like RAT POISION. I deserve to be healthy. I've done so well and am so proud of myself, I won't hamstring myself by a piece of cake that I'll regret in the morning."

That's the key - turning it around and not making it a DIEt, but loving your body by giving it what it needs.


hollybelle on 09/08/2007:
Just saying hi and Gee the Cheesecake Factory does have the biggest portions on EVERYTHING I have EVER seen. Hang in there.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Sep 06, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 0.0

8:20pm I haven't eaten actual chinese in ages...well, my family had ordered it and i just had some leftovers. I can now safely assume my calories to be 5,000 for today. I had fried rice with all the fixings, eggplant and chicken in sauce, and mango ice cream. my stomach was about to pop even before all of this. NO, i don't still weight 110.

shucks. I really shouldn't even care about weight anymore. I need to get a LIFE!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

6:30pm: let's now add 3 more slices of bread and 3 sesame cookies to the calories:

now, I've had 400 more...total is 4000 calories today.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

argggggggggggggggg.

yes, i binged again: all in one meal, 5:30pm-6:30pm:

some of it i bought...then, when i got home, i had 11 pieces of cinnamon raison bread as well.

total calories are about 3500.

one problem i have is not being able to stop eating a dish once i start. i need to be able to stop when i first get the full signal, so that i don't keep going...and this also leads to binging, btw.

i will get to your diaries...i promise.

WorkingIt2 on 09/06/2007:
********BIG HUGS********** The first thing in getting a life, is knowing what kind of life you want and organizing yourself to get it. Meditation is a beautiful thing!


geevee on 09/07/2007:
Nothing packs the weight on like bread! When a "bread day" comes, I am totally lost. Nothing satisfies my taste buds except for bread which includes bagels, English muffins, etc. I think I need to go back to Peru and Bolivia where there really is NO bread to my liking. It was so easy to control my weight when I was there because I just had no taste at all for what was available so it was easy to simply not eat. A watery soup, piles of white rice turned me off. The awful white bread was as bad as Wonder bread.

I understand how you were able to eat so much bread yesterday. I once bought a loaf of freshly baked whole wheat bread. I started picking at it while driving home and by the time I got there, I had eaten the entire loaf!

The only tactic that helps me is NOT to have my favorite weight inducing foods in the house at all. Otherwise, I will eat them all up!


Donkey on 09/07/2007:
I love ya Horn, but I gotta say this and you may hate me for it, so be it. You need help. I think you're beyond the point where you can stop bingeing on your own.


over_wait on 09/07/2007:
Thanks for the tips you left me! I try to eat veggies, but I'm more of a fruit person. I'm trying to stick to the fruits with less sugar...but there aren't any! :-) Veggies are just so bland...I can't do it. Brocolli, carrots...that's about it. But fruit...yum! Thanks again. Oh, and I love bread, too! I'm doin okay at keeping away from it...so far. :-)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Sep 05, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 110.0

bad news:

I binged today on everything that i haven't had: milano cookies, chips, ice cream, pastries, crackers, yogurt, tons of peanut butter, cinnamon raison bread, sesame seed wheat crackers with some oil in them as well (all food that i didn't purchase in my house)...it was all in my house...and i was really hungry. stupid decision...especially bc i really don't have ANYTHING to be stressed over!

so dumb.

calories are 4,000 for today!

soooo...all effects of my fast are now DEFINITELY long gone.

I may not even exercise for the rest of the night.

i've learned something: cool down!!! i just need to calm down, MAJORLY!

Progress as of today: 3.4 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/05/2007:
We talked about this a while back, but perhaps it's time to actually DO something about getting an anti-depressant or an anti-anxiety medication. Now before anyone jumps down my throat, many anti-depressants are used to help with bingeing disorders. I'm not talking about doping HoP up, but rather just a tool to help her even out her moods until her eating behavior has stabilized. Not a long-term solution but something to help you deal with this bingeing. Honestly, I can't tell you how DE-motivating it is to hear about another binge. And that's just reading about it. I can't imagine how self-defeated you must feel. :-(


Runner on 09/05/2007:
Hi, HOP! I haven't been able to read all of your entries, but how much weight did you lose in your fast? And I was surprised to see that you're still 110 pounds! It seemed like all that bingeing would catch up with you. I'm so jealous! You've still been able to maintain a low weight with high-calorie days. I can't lose weight on low-calorie days! Maybe I should try a fast, too. Good luck on hitting 105. I don't know if I'll ever see that day again.


tourguidebarbie on 09/06/2007:
Since it was just the two of us who did the August Challenge i'll just post the totals here <br> 45 hr 50 mins for you - WINNER<br> 30 hr 30 mins for me - LOSER!... lol <br> Great job!


WorkingIt2 on 09/06/2007:
Those Milano Cookies are the BOMB! You know, if I have a bunch of 'tasty' food in the house that is also easy to eat (no cooking involved) and I've had a bad day, a day without much water, or am just in the mood to eat like a lot of food...I'd likely binge as well. There is just something inside me that triggers sometimes and says EAT LOTS and I feel guilty while I'm eating it!


Donkey on 09/06/2007:
I hope that yesterday's binge will finally get it through to you that fasting does not work. Nor does low calorie dieting. Biscottibody encourages us to call us out on our dieting techniques, so that is why I am saying what I am saying.

I really like reading your diary and want to support you in reaching your goals.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Sep 04, 2007
(calorie counting, all foods, LOTS of veggies)
Weight: 110.0

grrr...can't sleep! now it's 1am!!! :( need to go to sleep and can't because i'm thinking about tomorrow (but not nervous) and my bloated stomach bothers me. today was the first night i had brown rice but, i also just ate a ton of salad with onion/corn in it, then i had a tomato, and a package of dried nori. too much!

total SEPT: 4 hrs, 10 min :)

so today was just staff meetings...tomorrow the job starts...i'll be making comments on your entries tomorrow as today it's already late and i want to exercise!

I splurged again on an organic foods dinner: baked cauliflower with tumeric and oil (AMAZING, as GG would say), some steamed veggies, and a brown rice and soy cheese pizza with sauteed spinach and baked veggies with oil on top of it. you know, i didn't love the pizza!..but i ate the brown rice pizza bc it wasn't "bad." just not "great." everything else was very good. i will not get it again....this makes me wonder if i do in fact need the carbs!...the brown rice. i think i do need the carbs, and i just didn't like the taste of that particular food! haha. I know some people would say i don't need the carbs.

exercise today will be one hour (but my job HAPPILY involves lots of walking now...right now at least...)

goodnight! :)

Progress as of today: 3.4 lbs lost so far, only 5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/04/2007:
I have often said to Husband that if it were just he and I, and we were both working, that I would love to do something like a Nutrisystem to have healthy meals readily available to us. (ok, to me) So that's kind of like what you are doing at the organic foods place. Probably even better tasting and better for you than Nutrisystem! Good luck at work tomorrow!



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