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Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Sep 06, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Hey all :) Happy Sunday. Just so tired lately and happy that I still have another day off after today.  I am debating taking like 2 weeks off both my weights and PT to try to get the ankle under control but I just feel HORRIBLE doing that.  I'd rather try to be successful in getting rid of the remaining ankle weakness and pain while still working out.  I just really don't want to do what I did last year - I took October - January off from ALL EXERCISE (it was my only way to allow my body to fully heal) last year and it was a very depressing  time for me.  I think I just need to be able to relax a little more this month (which is easier with only one full week of work...) and then i'll be feeling better, I hope.

Sorry to complain...I just don't feel my best. I'm sick of feeling bad when I finally get an extra day off..it's so annoying.  I'm drained and tired...but not tired enough to not enjoy myself at the gym (I think i'll try to make it a quick session?)

It's really day 1 of you know what and I've had pain in my right thigh since last night....glad I cancelled the beach with my friend (she didn't seem too upset actually) and we'll still be meeting mid afternoon and have dinner together...

I'm just really wanting time to decompress lately.  I don't even feel like texting my PT man... I just want to escape right now and be alone...I just feel skipping the gym is wrong when what I really wanted to do was use this month to get BACK on a good schedule. So, i'm doing it.  If something is really wrong come October, i'll take the mandatory break.  It's really just not easy for me to deal with the work schedule I have. I am so thankful for an easier month this month, because i'll not be taking any more days until March. I'll never get used to this, it's not a way of life for me.  Thank gosh my sister will only get married once and I have no other major events to deal with after that.  Having a very hard time balancing life, very hard time...just not enough time to "be Jackie" ...you know, to be myself. 

I feel like my job has def taken a big toll on my health and it's upsetting. I feel no escape.  No way to magically fix anything anymore. 

But at the same time, I know the importance of thinking positively so that things do end up working out the way they should...

8:00 am: kombucha and a small plum 100

11:15 am: Huge pancake made with few drops stevia, 1/4 avocado, 1 egg, 1/3 cup egg whites, small banana, some chia seeds...topped with peanut butter. only around 500.

600 :)

12:20 / 2pm During workout / after workout: banana, 2 munchkins 240

840...

snack 3pm: protein bar 170, quest chocolate brownie

total so far: 1010.

snack: yellow pepper 50?

dinner: tofu 100, some of friends Chinese but very little 50 mostly veggies, and my own dish of mostly just veggies in a thicker sauce though 400? total around 600 i'll say, at most.

1700 or so, total. PERFECT. actually was 1750 after a plum in evening, still perfect :)

gym: full weights, back abs...but I did have a panic attack during the first 1/3 of my exercises.  I just got really dizzy, even though i'd eaten recently...I had to take a break, got another banana, and after several minutes (10-15?) went back at it...

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 09/06/2015:
Such upsets in your life of wants and needs and not being able to do what you need. Hope at one point that it all comes together.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/07/2015:
thank you :)


biscottibody59 on 09/06/2015:
I hope you can find peace and some semblance of recovery from what ails you.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/07/2015:
thank you BB :)


ohioraven on 09/07/2015:
Hope you can find your Jackie. What would Jackie do ?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/07/2015:
I think she just likes to do things when she likes to do them...not according to work schedules and schedules in general :)


ohioraven on 09/07/2015:
Might be a good time to start your own business.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Sep 05, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

8am Breakfast: kombucha 70, hot veggie boillion 30

11am: Light Brunch: some veggies, beef jerky 250

2:30 Decaf coffee and plum - not more than 100 450.

4pm veggies, tons, 200 some sauce, shrimp 150, avocado 150, chips 150:  650

1100...

plums 200

1300...

Saw the movie Straight Outta Compton. It was really good and really sad. Quite long around 2hrs 20 min I think but time went fast bc it was a well done movie....saw it at 11:30 so now it's still early only 2:30 haha. Nice day :) ankle hurts so now I'm debating the gym :/ I want to go for weights but the ankle pain is really frustrating. I may have to take time off everything...but really didn't wanna do that.

It's a Happy Saturday morning, around 7am :)

Yesterday afternoon from 3-4:30 I had the keratin process done to my hair.  Usually you have to wait 3 days to wash, but I was told I can wash this one after 24 hours.  The reason I chose to do it yesterday is because I could wash it today (in the later afternoon) before the gym so that I could go to the gym & put my hair up so that I could do a normal routine there. The thing with getting a keratin is that you don't want to sweat or get the hair wet for the time they tell you that you are going to need to wait....So for me, they said only 24 hours...which means that I can wash it today before the gym...I am nervous though because it's only 24 hours, not the 3 days that they usually say...? But I should try it out, so I know for next time, if it works?  So yeah, I'll wash it before the gym today...fingers crossed that the process still works in a 24hr time frame!

Soon I'll get my laundry done this morning since I'm up...best to get it all done in one shot and not do any again till next weekend, which is also a long weekend for me...Really loving this downtime as well as being able to sleep in a little more often this month.  I should be feeling good come end of September.

So, today i'm trying to distract myself from food...I will do my laundry shortly...then I think i'll buy a ticket to see a movie in the theater by me (5 minute drive away...) to get myself out of my apt but still relaxed watching a movie. That's really it, not much else, and go to the gym tonight since tomorrow I can't go bc I am going to the beach...but...now that I think about it, I can go tomorrow morning before the beach if I really want to....! then I can wash my hair tomorrow morning...not tonight.....ahhhh the choices!  Yes, I think I may just try it that way....to take it easy the whole day today...? LOL, I can't believe i'm changing my plans again...but...I can fast a lot today I think...and then tomorrow will be busy and Monday not so many plans...I think I have a plan here...

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!


Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Sep 04, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Happy Friday!

Today I have my fingers crossed that we get out a little early, possibly around 2pm - they don't tell us ahead of time lol...then i'm off to PT.   I may skip PT and get the keratin hair done....what do you think....it may be better to relax my ankle as it bothers me a bit this morning anyways....then i'll have my hair done for next week for my bday...YEAH. BEST CHOICE FOR MY SITUATION. :)

DECIDED ON GETTING MY HAIR DONE AT 3PM, SKIPPING PT AS MY ANKLE IS SCREAMING FOR ME TO REST :)  HAPPY TO GET MY HAIR DONE...RIGHT ON TIME FOR MY BDAY NEXT WEEK ! YAY.

Today ended with around 1600-1650 cals at most. excellent i'd say :) No exercise, but got a nice haircut and picked up some wonderfully cooked veggies. exotic ones, like bamboo shoots and a warm seaweed salad (a different one from the types you get at Chinese / Japanese restaurants).  I actually have enough veggies to last me def thru the weekend!

Basic plans for the weekend:

Saturday: relaxed during day, (maybe movie or get my nails done, prob not), probably laundry. - plan is really just to get all laundry done so I don't have to do any until next weekend. Gym in evening. Maybe rent a movie from a redbox.  and I've got enough food to last me the weekend - I actually don't have to go food shopping until Monday....YES! great to not have to do these annoying errands all the time & get a break from them! Same with gas, got it today.  I'm actually really happy about all of this.

Sunday: Beach (full day and evening event of course!) hoping to feel better Sunday bc last few I got dizzy driving to beach with my friend. I think it's because I didn't have a lot of downtime before driving these past couple Saturdays.

Monday: also relaxed, massage, yay!, food shopping...day off of exercise, all exercise laundry if not done already or if it builds up a little.

I've been trying to fit a keratin haircut in...maybe next weekend...I wanted to do it on a Sunday after the gym, but they are closed Sundays and i'm trying a new place that has an awesome keratin - only a 24hr wait, not 3 days to wait to wash... :)

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 09/04/2015:
Have a great weekend.


thinkpositive on 09/04/2015:
Sounds like a good plan. Have a fun & relaxing weekend.


biscottibody59 on 09/04/2015:
Looks like you're all set!:-)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Sep 03, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

So another night without sleeping pill, but sleep was on and off again....but better than Monday night. If I took a sleeping pill last night, it would have been too late and i'd be very tired this morning. Luckily, even though I prob slept more like 6 hrs, I feel pretty awake this morning :)

PT was great, as it always is...conversation was awesome with my PT, like it always is. Flirting, like we always do.  And he brought it up, not me...he said, "when you are fully healed, we'll go out for a celebratory drink..." so....yeah...I guess I need major patience. Next time I see him is my bday this coming Wednesday. I am also going this Friday and next Friday, but he doesn't work then, so I will not see him on those days.  It's certain that we get along really well. Then again, he gets along with everyone really well. The difference is I think we understand each other on a slightly higher level.  Maybe i'm wrong. 

He specifically told me in person last night that it's not that he doesn't want to flirt (by text) or go out now (he is saying that he is interested - he's telling me he does feel the same way as me) ....but it's that he thinks it's still better if I am feeling even better first (in my ankle / left leg).  What he says DOES make sense to me....and I know I need to be patient about this.  I didn't get to say goodbye to him yesterday bc he was in the bathroom or something when I left, so I texted him and thanked him for the laughs...he wrote me back and said laughs are a must :) lol...he's a good man & understands me very well.  I would say I've been friends with him in this way for over a year...and known him a total of a year and 9 months or so....close to 2 years now. 

I do hope i'm lucky enough to possibly date him.  I guess we'd go out sometime in October assuming I get healing thru September. Lately I do feel much stronger with each week, especially after 2 weeks rest. I do notice an increase in ability to continue to put weight on the ankle and so some cardio, finally.  I did 10 min bike and 10 min elliptical last night.  And I don't feel worse this morning.  So...there's some progress, I would say...I am staying very positive about it right now.

I was actually hoping to get a drink with him around the Jewish Holiday dates in September bc I figure I have more time off and the weekend would be a good time to go out with him and all.  But he's going on vaca during those dates lol....and i'm not fully healed. I should be extremely close by the end of this month. After extra days off from work and more rest and relaxation and healing. I am looking forward to making progress...and I already am...throughout this month.

 also, I've started again to wear a "copper" long sock when I sleep...it's a long sock up to my knee and has some sort of metallic threading sewn into it.  You'd never tell...I bought them at a regular pharmacy type store - like CVS (Rite Aid)...and I bought them months ago and started to wear it only on the left leg when sleeping. maybe it'll help healing. can't hurt.

1300 after lunch, a bit too big really...too full lol...

I keep telling myself I want to relax on the jewish holidays but it seems I will be pretty busy getting a haircut, massage, physical therapy.  I don't know - seems I want to make use of the days off...they'll be my last vacation days until last 2 weeks of March...so may as well do what I please with them. :)

1650 before gym.

350 after gym.

2000 after gym. noticed a tightness in my leg starting - thigh - time of the month tomorrow...but it's better than usual because i'm eating better than usual this time around...I am also starting to feel a little better than usual....

happy Friday....I think i'm getting out early and the plan is to go to physical therapy whenever I get outta work tomorrow :)

 

 

 

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 09/03/2015:
Sounds like a date may work out after you finish PT- that's great.


Umpqua on 09/03/2015:
Good news all around on the PT. I can understand if he doesn't want to mix work and personal stuff but that's great that he made it clear he wants to see you!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Sep 02, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

Will go to PT even though skin is not great, but better than yesterday and the day before at least...I am happy to go see him.  It makes me happy to go to PT and not go home and be lazy more...I prefer some activity after work so that's what i'll do.  I even wore a nice top just for the PT. !!! I haven't seen him for two straight weeks. :) can't wait. we've stayed in touch practically everyday though by texting of these 14 days. maybe everyday except yesterday! He's really good to me...understanding.

Early: hot lemon water and banana 150

Breakfast: coffee 50, wrap with egg and butter 200 (small)...maybe 250. so 300.

450

snack: bar

lunch: chicken, veggies, maybe pretzels...(increasing carbs right now....)

snack before PT: beef jerky, 2 plums, rest of pretzels

after PT: maybe subway again...but I think my jaw is stiff from biting that darn large sandwich after gym last night....2 days in row waking up with stiff jaw on one side of my mouth - sounds stupid as I write it - i'm sure it'll go away today - just like yesterday.

1450 before PT and actually not too hungry right now - it's 7:20 now and I'll prob get home at 7:45?

I did stop at the supermarket on the way home to pick up a chicken to keep me with some good protein for the rest of the week.

2 plums when back at home (I love them bc they are smaller than most individual fruits and stay ripe for awhile). around 100-150.

close to 10pm, had some lentil crackers 120 cal and good mix of fat / protein / carbs.

didn't wanna go to bed hungry and carbs seem to help me, as biscottibody suggested & I did already know....so....yeah.should have went to bed earlier to skip the snack, but i'm enjoying surfing the web tonight lol.

At most 1700. Proud of myself - healthy choices.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 09/02/2015:
Glad to hear you're going to the PT, enjoy :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Sep 01, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

650 before lunch...hoping skin clears soon. probably skipping PT tomorrow just to relax not in the mood to see the guy (my PT) that I text looking really bad like I do right now...skin is the worst...worse than worst. it's the stress of last week, boss away...working by myself all day everyday...

1200 after lunch :)

1550 before gym...

Subway sandwich after gym not more than 350.

1900 at most, great.

Full weights, back, abs.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 09/01/2015:
Hope you can find something to help your skin condition. Take care.


Umpqua on 09/02/2015:
I hope things improve for you soon. Good work at the gym!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Aug 31, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

 anyone have any advice? I have several small whiteheads all over my face, mostly around chin / mouth area....must be hormones. so frustrating! I feel like i'm in high school...maybe if I seriously tried to eat better, I really don't know. 

i'm embarrassed to go to PT Wednesday and see my therapist, as I like him, and feel that I look so aweful....I really don't know what to do about my skin.  it's gotten progressively worse the longer I go without a vacation. i'm such a baby...

500 before lunch. my skin is a disaster more than usual.  I have so much blotchiness-whiteheads/pimples all from stress? I am supposed to go back to PT Wednesday but not looking forward to seeing him looking so bad then...it's just so bad it's not gonna go away by then....especially this week !!!

1150 cal after lunch = very good. pretty balanced lunch, but def older food...leftover veggies since late last week and chicken from Saturday night lol.

No PT today...just picking up food after work and coming home to relax.

Around 2050-2100. 20 min walk.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

livinglight on 08/31/2015:
Do you think you might be having an allergic reaction to something?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/31/2015:
maybe too much dairy? but I don't have a lactose problem...but maybe too much dairy..


Umpqua on 08/31/2015:
^^That was my thought too, maybe a reaction? The allergens are in full effect this time of year. I hope it clears up soon for you!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/31/2015:
thanks...it's soo frustrating, never had such bad acne as a kid. hardly anything ever in high school!


livinglight on 08/31/2015:
(by the way, thanks for the comment on my post from saturday - really great to know that someone understands this! I feel so alone and kind of crazy in it, so it meant a lot to get your message... and advice! I will try that - a better emotional state will immediately mean better food too!)


biscottibody59 on 08/31/2015:
On dairy, some people just find that their skin clears up without it. Might not have anything to do with lactose intolerance, but just inflammation perhaps.

A bonus for those who suffer is elimination/lessening of the effects of hay fever/seasonal allergies.

Have a good week!


ohioraven on 08/31/2015:
The answer may be in those bags of chips.

horn_of_plenty on 08/31/2015:
Maybe you are right :)


thinkpositive on 08/31/2015:
Do you think some kind of detox program might be helpful?


Umpqua on 09/01/2015:
Based on what you've written my guess is stress/TOM causing the skin issues. Is your skin really dry? My skin changes as the weather cools (not that the weather has been cool!) and really dries out. And if I don't moisturize properly it will produce oil to counter the dryness which can cause a sudden breakout. Just a thought.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Aug 30, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

8:45am: 2 small plums 80, leftover fried rice in a wrap 260, high fat collagen protein bar 230 ~600. And chips darn I knew I had something else to eat. Total 700.

11am, not hungry really, but had a plum 50.maybe some green tea soon.

750.

I was thinking to fast today till noon and try for 1200 cal but now I think if I can get a 1600 cal day I will be happy today....lately I want extra carbs...

1:15: 2 small plums 80, pb 200 on wrap 100,  with banana 120 sf jelly 20 = 500.

1250, followed directly by 300 cals in chips. 1550.

5:45pm: protein bar 170...then decided to eat a bit more: a type of hemp yogurt 130 mixed into warm bran 20, with some sugar free jelly 20 and peanut butter 200. total: 520 or so.

total today: 2070. works for me. my plan to all of a sudden lose a lot of weight by some 1200 cal fasting days will not be starting as of yet (today at least). it's also the week before my you-know-what by my hormones are already completely our of whack due to last week's stressful week of boss being away.  I am broken out on my face all over, more than usual. it could also be to eating badly.

It's like my body really doesn't wanna fast or be deprived of any more carbs...! Or that I can't stick to my plans, not sure, not even gonna go to the supermarket today, only gym (since I did my laundry last night) happy for this one single plan - gym. Had enough running around, that's for sure. Was invited to a Labor Day BBQ next weekend on Saturday but I doubt I'll go - I'm sorta in a rut and just want to be home mostly.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 08/30/2015:
You were hungry this morning - have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/30/2015:
I was, yes, in the morning. :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Aug 29, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

8am Breakfast: 3 small plums around 120, almond milk with wheat bran 90. total so far: 210.

8:45am: two small 4% fat  greek yogurts 220

11am after dentist craving carbs: small banana in a light wrap 180.

610, very good...

Lollipops 100, peppers 100, jerky 100, chips 140 1050... 150 turkey jerky

1200....fruit 50

1250

250 bar high fat and some protein

1500....

Around 2100-2250.

Bringing lots of fruit and veggies to the beach and a Bai sugar free drink...

 

Today is busier than i'd like it to be. I have a dentist apt at 10:15am and then meeting my friend at 11:30 to go to the beach. We'll be there, once we get there, till around 4:30 and come back around here for dinner which we'll prob have around 6. I'll be glad when she goes home (not because I don't like her lol)  but bc I've been feeling like I need my space and just want to read and relax the rest of the weekend...mixed in with doing laundry, food shopping, a tiny bit of cleaning up, and gym. really looking forward to September (not really my bday on the 9th...usually I feel great around that time because it's right after summer & I feel thinner, but just not this year...everything's sorta outta whack, no vacation time leading up to my bday...it is what it is) but I am excited because of the 4 days off throughout the month. should be great.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 08/29/2015:
I am taking some days off in Sept, too. Very excited about it. Enjoy your weekend!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/30/2015:
yep, very excited. it will be the last month I have extra days off besides the federal holidays. after that, long haul till either Feb or March! hahahaha


livinglight on 08/31/2015:
Thanks for the comment on my post - really great to know that someone understands this! I feel so alone and kind of crazy in it, so it meant a lot to get your message... and advice! I will try that - a better emotional state will immediately mean better food too!

I hope the busyness eases up and you get some down time! :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Aug 28, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.2

happy fri!

540 before morning snack :)

I had a great week comparatively speaking. I did a far better job remaining calm with my boss away than I did in the past. that's all that matters. :)

770 before lunch...

1500 or so before dinner.

total today is prob around 2150-2200. decent.

and now i'm done eating for the night.

looking to go to bed majorly early.

tomorrow is crazy busy with the dentist at 10:15am and then the beach for the remainder of the day...and I mean that. i'll get home later on, around 6pm-8pm depending what we decide to do for dinner.

little crazy of a week, glad it's done.

this is one of the ONLY summers where I have totally not lost weight near the end, near my bday (it's in 1.5 weeks). I am trying again to create even a small weekly deficit but it's also due to a lack of consistency in exercise and lack of cardio. i'll make it all work though. in the end, everything works out :)

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 6.2 lbs to go!

livinglight on 08/28/2015:
Well done :)


thinkpositive on 08/28/2015:
Glad you had a calm week.


hollybelle on 08/28/2015:
Interesting week you have had - Dad's speaking meeting, boss off - stayed calm and good stuff all around! Keep up the good stuff and have a great weekdend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/30/2015:
yes, it was a high-stress week, despite working shorter working hours. I'm glad it's over :) I have the acne to prove the stress....ready for a new month!



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