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view Horn_Of_Plenty bio page
Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Jul 08, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

I have officially lent my Sarno book to my physical therapist.  We get along so well. I know that I wrote here he has a girlfriend. But honestly, in my heart, I doubt he does. He never admitted to it.  And he's typically an honest man.  I've known him well over one year, closer to one and a half years.  We only chat in public, but when we do, it definitely crosses most lines and it's crazy he allows the things I say...and what he says...to be spoken as the physical therapy place that HE OWNS. by crossing the line, I just mean we sometimes are borderline flirting...or talking about adult topics. Not in a bad way, just the fact that we discuss them.

haha. he's fun and really enjoys using adult humor...with all patients! And they are almost always mostly adults. Once in awhile there's a college kid or high school kid. But most are adults.

So, right, I don't think he has a girlfriend. Maybe some sorta fling awhile back, I don't know. He doesn't always go out with his staff...and it could have been awhile ago that they all went to the bar and my PT invited another woman.  Either way, I honestly don't think he'd go along with texting me if he did actually have a girlfriend. It was more exciting than normal since we hadn't texted all week. It was actually more fun and more laughs than normal.  It's good, either way, that I've stopped texting him because we will NOT get together until I'm feeling better (my ankle).  I like him still.  He admitted to me, again, under his breath today, that he doesn't find himself attractive at all.  He's hard on himself...way too hard.  He's definitely above average, way above average in looks. Or maybe I just like him too much.

Calories till end of workday: 1250

Bigger snack before PT: apple 100, plum 50, protein bar 200: 350.

Bigger dinner after PT: at least 500-550

total today: 2100-2150. fine.

I did actually do the bike for around 14 minutes at PT. and some other exercises, still not much, mostly just stretching.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/09/2015:
Good luck with your PT guy! So funny that I've heard from several women who are attracted to their PT's.


OhioRaven on 07/09/2015:
Good Luck with your ankle, HP.


biscottibody59 on 07/09/2015:
RYC: On 41 or 31 min (as opposed to 40 or 42 or 30 or 32) I guess it satisfies my brain. Weird, but 41 feels like victory and 39 or 40 feels a little less than victory--haha!

(I had answered this the other night, but apparently didn't hit "Submit.")


biscottibody59 on 07/09/2015:
Good for passing on the Sarno info--maybe he will double as a matchmaker for you two--haha!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Jul 07, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

Someone had some difficulty uploading her photo! on my computer it is rightside up!!!!!! but I know what to do, save it off by 90 degrees...let me try to fix this...! ...actually, i'm good for now, next picture I do will hopefully be right!

Morning All! up at 3:45am and up since then! lol...

Like I said yesterday, the decision to take Monday off was one of my best decisions ever this summer! I am so glad I was able to get to the beach with my best friend! and a 4-day workweek!? awesome!

750 cals before lunch....

After lunch around 1100. Snacking before gym 250-300 After gym 250-300 and maybe some chips 1700-1750....actually full serving chips...so around 18--, good!.... full weights and very very hardcore...will post a photo of gym outfit as only sports bras are allowed at my gym!...............

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/07/2015:
Sounds fun!

horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2015:
For sure...I guess I am out of my funk finally!


ohioraven on 07/07/2015:
Have a Great Day.

horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2015:
I did!


Umpqua on 07/07/2015:
Glad to hear you had fun yesterday and have a short work week to look forward to. I'm taking Friday and days off next week too to travel, can't wait!

horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2015:
Enjoy your coming travels !!!


biscottibody59 on 07/07/2015:
Good to know your weekend went your way--enjoy the rest of your week!

You're going to have to explain "only sportsbras allowed." Is it opposed to no bra or a non-sportsbra? What???

horn_of_plenty on 07/08/2015:
Haha I always say things in the most awkward ways!!! What I meant was, if women prefer to wear only a sports bra I stead of a full workout top, the owner allows it! I use a towel to separate the machine touching my skin when I have to....

And yes, the weekend and my week is definitely going my way :)

I am lending that Sarno book to now a second person! Even though I am frustrated by him, my PT said he wanted to borrow it :)


hollybelle on 07/08/2015:
I was wondering about the sports bra thing so glad you cleared that up Hahahahaha! Seriously - good job!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/08/2015:
lol


ohioraven on 07/08/2015:
Wait, I missed something. Are you jogging topless ?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/08/2015:
lol...at my gym, women seriously go just like that. the picture is not sorta sized right...anyways, yes to weightlifting, no to jogging :)


museumgirl on 07/08/2015:
A day at the beach sounds wonderful!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/08/2015:
it was perfect and no sunburn is the best!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Jul 06, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

Day off to go to the beach :) 1st sick / vacation day of the year (they started in April / May). Feeling great about this decision as I also slept a little extra today and feel that also has its benefits for sure.

Light eating till 10:30am - kombucha 70 and lemon water 30 - and some salt water 100 total.

10:30am substantial breakfast: one egg and one egg white fried 150 or so, wrap 100, avocado half 160 total: 310 good (and actually I still have some avocado later for the beach, didn't eat the entire half).

Beach: will be light food: tofu 100, rest of the avocado half, fruit - plums - i'll bring 3 150, and veggies - mostly celery 100,  also bell peppers...will calculate it later..peppers probably around 150 also. 500....

total here: 910 good...and popcorn 150 - so 1060

dinner: brown rice around 150, couple shrimp around 50?, veggies in basil sauce around 150?, soup around 100?? - total: 500 i'll say. also a bite of chicken. who knows :)

Snacking at home, decided to enjoy the day complete with some dessert: a protein bar (and it didn't satisfy me so that's why I reached for the next item), peanut butter with sf jelly on a wrap 250: total around 450.

total today: 2000. it's def ok!!!!!! nice job to me. and happy to go to the gym after work tomorrow and hopefully bed early tonight.

exercise: not much. just minor walking at beach, but no additional exercise. No PT.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 07/06/2015:
It looks like you did really well keeping your calories low over the weekend and getting your workouts in. Yay on an extra day off today, I hope you're enjoying it!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/06/2015:
it was a great summer day back at the beach!


grannyannie on 07/06/2015:
Well done! Good planning.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/06/2015:
thank you :)


puddles on 07/06/2015:
enjoy your sick day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/06/2015:
Thanks P...it was fun!


hollybelle on 07/06/2015:
Beach day=yay! Good job all long weekend long!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Jul 05, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

Fri - 1350, Sat - 1400, Sun 1700 = 3 day average of 1480 / day.  lets assume I burned around 2,000 per day. i'm being kind to myself :) since I don't do any cardio, hopefully weightlifting makes up for no cardio a little bit! 

so, around 500 a day = 500 cal deficit/day = 1500 cals burned this weekend - almost a half pound! I did good! will be having one last low cal day tomorrow :)

Stayed up till 3am finishing a book...had a yogurt followed by a high fat natural protein bar bc I cant sleep...320 cals.

9am snack: Kombucha 70-80

total: 400, good.

edit: more kombucha and later strawberries: 100

500, great!!! I am really, really trying here for 1200! later, just planning on oatbran before workout with butter, stevia and coconut water. 200 forgot - chips 50

750 :)...and prob decaf coffee iced :)

Decaf coffee and small banana around 150 900 good :)

Dinner: baby bok choy in some sauce: around 250??, tofu 100, half avocado 160...chips 200. its fine - its balanced :) total here: around 700, maybe less.

total today - more than expected but less than usual. I did good: 1600.

exercise: weights, back, abs.

 

gonna do some laundry this AM! Just sheets and any laundry that has built up from Thursday - not that much :)

Didn't end up sleeping much, but I think it's ok.  Yesterday, I got 10hrs of sleep into Saturday. So, maybe today is ok with less.  I don't even feel tired at the moment.  I slept around 4hours last night, 4am-8am. And I even took a sleeping pill, and still only managed this amount. Seems I may have a tolerance to them, even though I don't take them much anymore.  It could also be bc I had food, maybe the pill had less of an effect. Not sure.

I decided today that I will call in sick Monday to extend this 3 day weekend to 4 days.  I am going to go to the beach with my best friend.  It'll be a decent day for it & I haven't gone yet this summer.  Last year, my friend and I went at least twice even by the end of June. So, getting a sorta late start. And I really do miss it, miss the sun, and the care-free feel of relaxing there. We wouldn't walk in the sand, but we'd enjoy it. I live right by the beach, under an hour away and even less depending on which beach.  I like to go Long Island beaches, as I grew up there. I don't go to the Rockaways, which are part of Queens where I live now.  Good thing is my best friend is a teacher, so i'll be having a nice beach day with her!  It'll be a true extended weekend. Also, I will not be going to physical therapy tomorrow - bc in my heart, I realize that my time relaxing and releasing stress...time off work...is at this point just as important as the actual PT. 

When I went to the doctor and had my blood test 2 weeks ago, it came back with a low white blood cell count. Usually this can cause an increase in infection in the body (and I do get many infections as of late - from face / some back acne to 2 UTI's last summer to styes in my eye 2x this spring.  It is very apparent I am stressing and a beach day is nice and good for me.  So tomorrow it will be.  Even if I weren't stressed, there's nothing wrong with playing hooky once in awhile.  We have 5 sick days to use :)

 

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/05/2015:
So that must have been a good book?? May I ask what you were reading? On another note - I have read that dairy products can have a sleep inducing effect...yogurt may have been a good choice???

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2015:
I did fall asleep soon after and I'm so surprised that my body didn't wanna sleep anymore last night...but it's ok...at least I feel relaxed.

I love reading Romance novels. This one Amish-based! Not kidding. the Author isn't Amish but enjoys visiting that part of the country & learning of the culture. So, it's tame. It's more of a love story with a full story-line. Nothing X-rated about it. And a good read. Usually, all of the books I pick up are great. And best of all, I didn't even know, it takes place in the SUMMER!...and July 4th is actually celebrated in the book! Such a coincidence as I read it on the 4th: here is the title:

"The Amish Nanny" by Patricia Davids

The other book I read last weekend was good too:

"The Daddy Secret" by Judy Duarte (USA Today Best Selling Author)

I would say that the Amish-inspired book was the more memorable of the two. :) But both were nice.

I like to read for carefree relaxation. It really is like an escape for me...a vacation from my life & living thru the lives of the characters in the story :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2015:
My mom used to read romance novels also, she had a collection lol. I get mine from the library - it seems they may have a slight rotation in the selection with the other libraries in the area as I always find a new one to read :)


ohioraven on 07/05/2015:
Morning, Horny.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2015:
Morning Raven ;)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Jul 04, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

10am food: lots of veggies some veggie soup around 150? Most of the veggies were cabbage...chips 1.5 servings - total 330. 400...some kombucha .... Strawberries 100 500....

chips in afternoon 150.

then went out to eat after seeing Magic Mike...the second one.  Well, just so you know, it's very slow and not near as good as last summer's.  It's sorta a waste of money to blow on this movie....only really the last 30 minutes of the entire 2 hours are decent. and the ending...not so good. just so you know!

anyways, went out to dinner, there was some sauce involved, so calories are higher.  I did very good today, not complaining!

650 cals before dinner.

and I doubt dinner was over 750 cals.

most I could have ate today - 1400. good...and it's probably lower :)

tomorrow i'm planning for 1200 again, not lower, I doubt I need to go lower. 1200 is low enough! ...and better than fasting and eating so low like 800-1000. it makes me feel better, knowing I can have at least 1200.  and I will def lose weight this way!

tomorrow, i'll eat around noon...or light eating in morning...then go to gym. later, i'll tan in the afternoon hopefully on my terrace. didn't lay out in the sun this summer yet.  I won't make it to the beach, but hoping to make good use of my terrace! :)

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 07/04/2015:
Happy 4th of July to you. Have a great weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/04/2015:
Same to you Fran, thank you :) :) :) enjoy the fireworks if you see them!


hollybelle on 07/04/2015:
Good for you having a good holiday - thanks for the tip on the movie. I didn't see the first one and looks like I'll skip this one, too. LOL!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Jul 03, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

This weekend is all about relaxing. Relaxing most of the morning- then going back to the hairdresser who chopped my hair still I don't know how he managed to do that when I said I wanted a trim! Anyways going back to get a keratin treatment which will help me manage my hair faster in the morning and allow me to wear it down and not have to always put it up wet (with pieces in the back falling out of the clip and looking messy) for work in the cold air conditioning. Later I have a dermatologist appt at 3:15.

I meant to completely fast this AM but got tempted by some really tasty cooked veggies I had in my fridge that I bought yesterday after work. I already ate at least 3-4 cups of them, in a little sauce, so I would have to say 300 cals. Was worth it but my goal for today is def not to eat more than 1200 cals - and that is my plan, and I will stick to this plan no matter what, for these 3 days that I have off from work bc I have gained some weight and I don't like it. So I am fixing it a little now and more later!

12pm iced decaf 50 cals.

1:45 cooked veggies with dried tofu and a kombucha. prob no more than 250...and a heated up tortilla 100, strawberries 50

750...good.

later i'm planning on egg whites...lots...with veggies...and maybe something for dessert.

1200-1250 cals get used so fast...but i'm up for this challenge :)

Cooked veggies around 200-250, tortilla 100, beef jerky 200 = 500-550

1300-1350 (may have a light drink). good. very good :)

was gonna tan on my terrace now for 30 minutes, but gonna wait till later around 4pm bc the sun isn't hitting it right on...and it's shady lol.  for some reason, I keep forgetting that the sun is not really on my terrace till later in the afternoon...luckily...I am home then, too...!  I plan to also tan a little on Sunday! ...by tan, I mean get some sun for a half hour, prob no sunblock. just 15 minutes per side and be done.

with the keratin in my hair, i'm not supposed to sweat or get it wet...I am debating not going to the gym Sunday...just relaxing...and going on Monday after work instead (and just skipping a day this week).  I may actually do it...not sure...or I can work out and just be a little more careful? It's tempting to wait to workout till Monday...but then I go one less day this week...maybe it's what I need.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 07/03/2015:
Good luck with your goals for the weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/04/2015:
i'm achieving them to the best I can do and i'm proud of myself to sticking with my goals :) maybe not a perfect 1200 each day, but i'm doing what I can and happy that I've tried the whole time. and tomorrow, I plan on it being 1200 and ending this weekend on a very positive note!!


Umpqua on 07/03/2015:
Good luck over the weekend and I hope you get some relaxation and fun time in!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/04/2015:
it's been a wonderful weekend!


biscottibody59 on 07/03/2015:
Sounds like you have a balanced weekend planned--enjoy!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/04/2015:
it's been very nice & relaxing! no complaints! not one!


ohioraven on 07/04/2015:
I'm adding more "slow cooker" vegetables thanks to you. Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/04/2015:
That's great to hear!!!! Veggies sure do help me eat less! Rather, I eat more veggies and they def help in keeping me FULL :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Jul 02, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

calories till after work: 1350.

snack: veggies 100

snacks: 3 plums 150, natural bar 250 400....maybe a drink 20 (negligible calories)

total before gym: 1850, good :)

got out of work at 2pm so I got some errands done: 

- oil change in under a half hour! for a decent price (not a sale, but 29.99 which is good for NY prices and getting it done in under half hour)

- cleaners to drop of a blouse that also needed a fix in the stitching and then it'll give me another shirt lol bc I'm not buying any clothing this season!, nice,

- supermarket for everything i'll need basically until Sunday for sure and even Monday except for meat!

- laundry! ...yep, it was building up so rather than have heaping loads to do on Sunday, I am doing it now as I type this on Friday July 2, 2015 @ 4:49pm! haha

- gym...later...getting excited for it!

ankle is a nuisance still, but staying focused, and, it was great to get some of these things done - especially the oil change!..i was over in terms of a month, but under in mileage.  I like to go by whatever usually comes first, but forgot. glad I opted to get it done today.

 

Total cals around 2250. Good.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/02/2015:
Fired up for a good long weekend, I see! Yay! for you for getting things done!


ohioraven on 07/03/2015:
Busy girl, take good care of the ankle UP.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Jul 01, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

Despite getting to PT late, I got out pretty early. went to my fave Thai place and decided to eat there instead of waiting to take it home - was pretty hungry.

Dinner: vegetable soup with all the broth 150?...then, lots of vegetables in ginger sauce with 4 shrimp - that would be prob around 300 more? total 450?

total today: around 1950-2000.  very good. exercise: minimal, PT.

Forgot I had rice!!! So more around 2150-2200.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Got my blood test and urine test results from the doctor. He tested for a bunch of stuff, couple weeks ago and finally had the phone convo about the results with him.  Turns out I have a low white blood cell count. And it was high in my urine. He said maybe I had a UTI. however, nothing burned or hurt or bothered me down there. Honestly, I googled low WBC and it seems it can result from chronic stress.  And, because I keep saying I would like a month away from this job in particular (lol, but i'm not getting that ever, until I quit!), I know that is why - stress is weakening my immunity / low white blood cell count.

I am not really worried about the results.  I will go back for a re-do to see if my WBC go back up...stopping by the doctor today after work and before PT.  Like I said, i'm not worried, but it's frustrating knowing that something wasn't right the first time and now I am doing something for it - at least go back to the doctor. Hopefully, I know in my heart, everything is ok. also going to the podiatrist today for some new insoles (same building as the blood test, same office actually!

Feeling pretty good this morning after a crazy gym session last night. I'm getting really, really good at pushups. I can now do just about 60 in one set!!!!!!!!

We have off Friday - planning to go to the dermatologist and maybe get my hair done (keratin) since it's so short and it will make it easier for me to manage it for the summer.  I have an appt that i'm debating keeping.  It would be some money down the drain, but i'd feel better...so, it may be worth it even though it's short-term as the keratin lasts about 2-3 months.

Saturday I was going to go to a house 4th of july party but now debating the beach with my best friend. It would be more fun, just looking to get away with her and not be around any more groups or crowds. I am looking to have a relaxing weekend this weekend and nothing more. I don't want to be around lots of folks or party food. I'd like a little more control and relaxation. Sunday i'll go to the gym and probably do food shopping - I may wait to do laundry on Sunday or get it done Friday! we shall see. Nice to have the extra day off :)

800 before lunch.... Lunch prob around 600.... 1400 before snack after work....snack after work - only a large apple - i'll just say 1500 total before dinner.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

ohioraven on 07/01/2015:
Sounds like a good attitude, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/01/2015:
:) Thanks OR!


Umpqua on 07/01/2015:
Excellent job on the workout and hopefully that helps a bit with your stress. Your plans for the long weekend sound great too, I'm sure it will be relaxing and fun. Enjoy!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/01/2015:
It will...will def be doing most of only what I want to do! haha ;)


puddles on 07/01/2015:
Enjoy your weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/01/2015:
Thanks Puddie!


hollybelle on 07/02/2015:
Doing well, I see. Have a great weekend. We aren't going to our usualy food fest 4th of Jul party and not being around all that junk food is a relief!

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2015:
Same here, glad I am not the only one feeling that way!!!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Jun 30, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

600 before lunch.

natural, healthy lunch but white rice, roasted onion, and chicken with skin...roasted...so it adds up..700.

1300 so far, good.

will be making up for it this weekend...definite semi-fasting...not fully, but prob around 1200 cal on Friday and Sunday to try to make up...for overeating last weekend...it's piling on, jeans tight...so gonna try to fix the problem before it spirals more outta control.  I will feel better if I can stick to a fast.

Calories before gym a banana and a big apple and some coffee 300.

1600

At gym: small banana 100

1700...

After gym: Frozen yogurt around 400?

2100, decent. I will do my best on Friday and Sunday to keep calories at 1200 each of those days. And Saturday, I will aim for normal 2000.

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

biscottibody59 on 06/30/2015:
Hope you're okay from the PT--GF news. So sorry you have to deal with that.

Take care of yourself!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/01/2015:
what's GF stand for!? Don't be too sorry I have to deal with it...it's the least of my problems and more like drama than anything else :) I feel sorry only for him as I have moved on and just ready to keep strengthening my ankle. It is beginning to feel better and better lately...still not there, but getting there! As long as I keep resting it.

Anyways, thank you for your continued support & advice!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/01/2015:
ohhh....girlfriend news!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Jun 29, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 126.0

Turns out that the PT I have known for over one year, and texting on and off about a year...supposedly has a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!! So all the flirting I do with him...all my texting...my Christmas card...all of this...and he never told me!?  A 20-yr old young guy who works there as an assistant told me today. Seems that the 20yr old boy is more mature than my 43 year old physical therapist. So, no more texting the therapist, obviously (I was also texting bc I don't always see him - it was supposed to be over for me - but then I reinjured myself so had to go back to PT).

So I won't text him anymore, for sure.  Additionally, I will keep going there and not get too upset over it - because I have more important matters which is regaining strength and ability in my ankle. and making it thru and getting into the NYPD. that's it. that's what's important. This crap and behavior of my PT - just reminds me what's important - NYPD & my own goals for my own life!

I didn't see my regular PT tonight bc he left early. I saw the other guy. 

and my PT never admitted to me or told me anything about a gf.

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am having trouble containing my emotions, relaxing, and dealing with life. What is my problem!?

I need to seriously stop this craziness.  And just deal with what I've got now.  Nothing's gonna change. I need to almost settle and just be content with life as it is. So be it that I have tendinitis in my ankle and can't walk. Guess it just doesn't matter anymore...I need to move on...having trouble doing it though.

Just feeling bad.  Depressed again. Maybe it's bc all my teacher friends have off starting today for the rest of the summer (and the fact that I used to be a teacher and these times of year will always be BITTERsweet to me.  mostly bitter I guess. It's not the way to think...I gotta calm down.

Calories so far are 750, good (before lunch).

On the weekend, I got pretty off-track.  I am going to fix it - by probably eating less on Friday or something (I have off). On the weekend, this weekend, I was invited to a party for July 4th but I am debating NOT going and instead just going to the beach with my best friend....to be more alone and not around all that crappy food and noise. I just want to escape, be alone, be by myself. I don't feel right.

My skin is sorta inflamed, digestion is not great (constipated) and I just feel very torn. LIke there's no more time left to do what I like.. and also the fact that my ankle isn't great and I can't even do cardio.  I am NOT living my life...and it's bugging me today especially. had enough...I'm just angry even at myself. for once working all that OT....and all I have to show for it is tendinitis in my ankle, stress, sickness (injuries that are not fully healed....) god please help me help myself.

I refuse to live my life this way.  I am not in control and it's very disheartening.  I am upset with myself and my situation. and finding it hard to feel better & regain any control for the long-term.  it seems every time I finally get there, I get reinjured or something else comes up.

600 cal for lunch, all healthy. 1450 cal...(coffee also and a cracker)

300 sandwich...1750

bigger snack than expected after PT: 2 high fat protein bars (all natural) and tofu: around 550.

total: 2300. it's ok, at least i'm fully satisfied.

 

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/29/2015:
Life is ups and downs. It always helps to see the glass half full. Your being too hard on yourself. Have a good day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/29/2015:
thank you for the kind advice :) I have a tendency to bring myself down...never for any good reason. and then I spiral (usually gain weight or something...) i'll have to work harder this time - and realize - that I need to work harder this time...to bring myself out of this funk and to rise up above this job and this part of my life...to get myself to the NYPD academy. it's gonna take a long time - and I need to remember that. that this is a long process, not a week or a few months. I can do this.



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