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Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Nov 21, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

Home: kombucha 70

Breakfast:  coffee with milk, stevia (as always) 50, banana 150, wrap 100, sf jelly, nut spread 200: 500.

snack: peanuts :-P

total before healthy lunch: 750

lunch: chips 250, bigger turkey burger 200 tops, bean sprouts 150, sauteed cabbage at most 100? 700 tops.

snack 1: bar and water with stevia before gym 150, PLUM 50

near end of workout and after workout: banana and protein cookie 450

snack before bed - some Amy's pita chips 150-200 hopefully not more, started to eat without counting.

2350 probably, but it was a great workout :)

 4 day average: 2200, not great.

Bed soon afterwards.

_________________________________

Fitness goals this year 2018: better situps, better pushups, increase cardio in January. - practice Spin class (free at gym)

Other 2018 goal: take the estimating classes (as soon as they are available)

3rd 2018 goal: volunteer for auxiliary volunteer police, take the training, after i'm done with estimating classes

ok, now the final goal: work on memorization

Final 2018 goal: go to free events that are mind-stiulating

i'll have to make a plan as to how to tackle all of this.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

legcramps on 11/21/2017:
spin classes are so much fun! you will like them for sure. loud and fast music really helps too ;)

nice goals for 2018; i haven't even thought about what i want to tackle next year. i just want to get through this year in one piece LOL.


bearcountrygg on 11/21/2017:
Love the goals!


Donkey on 11/21/2017:
Love the 2018 goals. Now you have me thinking...



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Nov 20, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

2083 3-day average. good!

Home: had kombucha but shouldn't have. i was empty didn't need to poop lol....yes...really...and now i'm just full out bloated all day. 70

Breakfast at work: coffee with milk 50, banana 150, wrap 100, seed butter 200, honey 50: 550.

1:45 LATE Lunch: curry potatoes 200, chips 200, green beans 100? (big amount) turkey burger 200. total: 700.

4pm - had a tasty small rice krispie treat 80.

while at work - I am catching myself like falling asleep...i could have slept more last night, it's not terrible & i'll sleep better tonight!

I am going to an "Author Talk" at a local library that i have not yet been to. it's from 6pm-7:30pm and i plan to have just a snack then - decaf coffee and dunkin donuts while i listen to the program at the library - great topic of a historical but semi-fictional book. Author will be there. Ricky is joining. I'll return my book at that library (doesn't matter which library we return our books too which is really GREAT!)

I leave work at 5pm and the event starts at 6pm. It'll take about that long to drive and find a spot...looking forward.

half beer before library 100 most lol

dinner at home: roasted red cabbage in a lot of oil 250, chips 300 tops, sausage but not too much 100? 650.

2150.

I had to return a book today:

"We appreciate having had this opportunity to assist you.

The answer to your inquiry is:

The renewal can not go through as the book is requested by another customer. A requested item can not be renewed at the Queens Library."

...I think i'll request this book again to finish it when it becomes available again.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/20/2017:
Bummer about the bloat and the book......

horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2017:
but def nothing terrible ;)...just inconveniences :) haha :)


Maria7 on 11/21/2017:
Hope you have a good day.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Nov 19, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

Kombucha, yum 60.

11am-11:30 late breakfast: banana 150 (big), wrap 100, pb 200, honey 50,500, chips 290.

12:45 twix mini and baby ruth mini 100

3pm While doing errands, bite of cornbread sample.

Errands: between 2pm-3:30pm, I went to 3 stores to pick up food for week, even recycled a few bottles at supermarket.

3:30 meal: large caulifower / grain cake pan fried - around 200-250 cal? and sausage and greens 400? total is good 650 cal.

 1650 before gym...getting my booty to gym for a good workout...haven't exercise since last Sunday and turning to 3x a week weights workouts now thru January.

Now it's almost 4:30, debating skipping gym, nah...lately i do not have much energy. I will have to push myself and make sure to do walking, even if it's early in the morning...

Total calories were great: 2000.

2day average: 2050 per day.

Need a new battery for my scale! It said "Lo" this morning. A lithium battery. i'll get online on Amazon. and it will be delivered with all my other stuff.

______________________________________

Laundry was done & put away before 10:30am i think? Bedding is actually back on my bed, not waiting to be done later.

Up to cleaning the hamster cage now, 11:40am.

After cleaning the cage, i'm going out to pick up some food for the week (mostly vegetables and kombucha).

Then, a snack followed by a good gym workout. I just cannnot give up the gym (i just can't!). it seems it will be really hard to fit it in, if you read my upcoming schedule below. it'll be simply a LOT of time out of my apartment, a lot of commitment time just spend sitting, and i'll just have to chug thru as well as i freaking can.

___________________________________________________

I am taking the step (didn't want to, at all) to sign up for an estimating (free) course at the union hall by me. My dad wanted me to take it for approximately SEVEN years. So, since it's his wish for me to take it, i'll take it.

The reason why it sounds like i'm doing it for me and not me is exactly that. I'm doing it for him. I honestly do not think i'll become a "much better" electrical estimator by taking this 3 month (i think?) course.

The course is FOUR hours a week. AFTER work. I think tuesdays and thursdays, 6-8pm. so, it means i'll work from 8-5, everyday of course. and two days a week i'll have an additional sitting commitment, from 6-8pm. Add my own desire to exercise two other days during the week (and once on the weekend) and it means i'll be really, REALLY busy. 

If i had a family, or dog, i'd simply not have time for any of it.

This is why the real reason i'm taking the course is my father. The course will be a STRESSOR.  But that's what i'll have to deal with - as it's only right for me to do SOMETHING my dad wishes. As he's the one who got me this job anyways that i've had for 7 years. so i'm just listening to him. 

but yes, i'm pretty frustrated about my schedule - so much sitting, so much extra commitments. Two hours is NOT a small amount of time, especially NOT two times a week.

Fitness-wise, i'll lay low on cardio until the class is DONE. I HOPE it's only 3 months, will have to look into it, soon.

Lastly, that's really it for now.

Looking to go to the gym today, i'll be switching for the time being to 3x a week gym weights workouts, no cardio. This actually equals one less day of a fitness commitment per week as i used to try to do joggging 2x and weights 2x, totallying 4 days. Now with only weights, it'll be 3 days a week, fine. and then i have the course 2 days. that's really already over my own personal limit time-wise, but nothing i can do except accept it.

If my dad helps me, i have to follow something he asks of me. ah freakin well.

_______________________________________________

I plan to go back to working on my own cardio after the course ends, but practicing Spin on my own i think, for a couple months i'll do it for 15 min per day on the days i think that i do weights, not sure - i'll figure that out later.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/19/2017:
I had to smile at "I just cannot give up the gym" -- right? I completely get where you're coming from :-) If you have the time, I think it will help you feel better. Nothing like a good workout, even if it's a short one, to help center yourself, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

While it's my personal opinion that it's too soon from your life-plan change to enroll in the estimator's class, I do understand why you are taking it, and so I support you in decision and reasons for taking it now.

Look at it this way, maybe: take it now while it's winter. By the time you're done, it will be Spring, with warmer weather to be outside -- and you won't have to be stuck inside some classroom any more.

I like your gym plan too -- even though it's less than what you were doing before, it's a shift in focus (back to weight training). Maybe spinning can be a goal for 2018, if you're ready and if you have time.

horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2017:
Thank you for all advice.

I have no choice but to take the class. i have no excuse to others not to. At least it is Winter.

:-)

Your advice helped me here.


bearcountrygg on 11/19/2017:
I think you might not find it as hard as you think...I worked 40 hour weeks, got a college degree, wife to 1, a Mom to 2, took care of a big house and fixed 3 meals a day for everyone. I will admit to doing homework sometimes at 3 in the morning...but I was the only one running the house and getting kids to school.etc....and it was do-able. Time management becomes your best friend....the times in my life when I accomplished the most were years like those....I usually took 4 classes a semester...and that made for a lot of homework...but when you have to fit things in...somehow it all comes together...I think you will be fine and since to feel like you owe it to your Dad then that is a small price to pay. Maybe you will get a benefit from it that will serve you for a long long time...in that case...it will be well worth it. Good luck with the class.

horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2017:
I know i can do it....it's more the inconvenience....but DEF not as inconvenient as being out of work.


bearcountrygg on 11/20/2017:
YUP!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Nov 18, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

AM: blackberries 100, snickers 150, kombucha 50: 300. 

Chicken nuggets 4. And a small snickers 1000 before dinner

2100 total i think.

dinner - had a "real beer" called Ommegang Hannipin - one bottle's worth (a belgian beer brewed upstate NY in Cooperstown) and high alcohol percent, around like 8%, if i spelled it rometely correcetly.  It was GREAT. ...we were waiting around 40 minutes for a table so we spent time at the bar. Next, dinner was healthy, i ordered brussel sprouts which were not that great, and a salad, with a "shrimp burger" which was really light and tasty. plus i had fries from a friend, they were sweet potato waffle fries, like a serving of them, big serving, very oily. very good!

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/19/2017:
Shrimp burger...never heard of that before.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Nov 17, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

Home: kombucha 70, at work two mini twix 100 total. 170, honey 30.   200.

 Breakfast: coffee 50, banana 150, wrap 100, pb 150, 450 and cinnamon on the wrap too.

Snack: prob peanuts 150

800 before lunch

Lunch: spag squash,  2 marinated mushrooms, and boss suprised us & ordered us pizza, so i have a nice "grandma: slice with a little cheese, mostly sauce, square slice it is and also has a few marinated olives :) 

Lunch 750-800 lots of pizza 1550 after lunch.

4pm Granola bar 100 

Snack: apple? 100 

Dinner: may buy more vegetables...blueberries 120, protein pudding 240, yogurt 190 full fat. 550

2300 total.

7day:  1990, excellent.

____________________________________________________

i ran out except for my spag squash (and one thing i bought on the weekend spoiled! - it was steamed broccoli with roasted garlic all in olive oil...totally spoiled - waste of around $5).

___________________________________________________

After work: i'll pick up good cooked veg for dinner tonight since i don't have at home right now any more...i may even buy something at supermarket by work during lunch for dinner, instead of an errand after work...we'll see...i've got options.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/17/2017:
Sounds like lots of good veggies.

horn_of_plenty on 11/17/2017:
i am liking them lately :)


bearcountrygg on 11/17/2017:
Thumbs Up!

horn_of_plenty on 11/17/2017:
:-)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Nov 16, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

Kombucha 70

Breakfast: big banana 150, wrap 100, pb 150, honey 50 coffee 50: 

Snack: 150

Lunch: leftovers spag squash with marinara sauce 200-250, egg and egg white 100, chips 250. 600.

Snack 1: shortbread sorta big cookie 100 cal

Snack: brought an apple and just realized this AM that i have nice berries in my fridge to eat this weekend / tomorrow (huge blueberries and fresh blackberries) 100 cal for apple

1550 if i have an apple also.

Dinner: tbd, maybe out to eat but not expensive  I want to cook some burgers tonight :) i have two pages of chopped meat at home waiting for me...maybe good to eat a fresh burger tonight with dinner!

______________________________________________________

Dinner was blueberries 120, burger 150, marinated mushrooms 150 and i think nothing too much else - i fell asleep. 500 tops?

2050 total for Thursday.

6day average: 

______________________________________________________

I think i'll eat extra cals tonight - closer to 2200.

Still no exercise.

Restarting my exercise routine on Sunday.  I enjoy looking good, so, i will not be skipping out on exercise for longer than this week. It's going to be a constant in my life, no matter what. 

___________________________________________ ___

Possibly going to a library event tonight...no exercise still taking the break until prob sunday.  But it's in an area that has horrible parking, so, i'll have to see. When i say horrible parking, i say i might have to pay for parking somewhere bc there's no street parking left...

The library event is author talks about a book this author wrote...i'd like to go. hear a perspective / opinions, nice to expand my mind this way...with a real live auther in person.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/16/2017:
We had always used our library for things like that too........back when we were in the city. Have fun!

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2017:
Yes, i should totally go...i'll see...it's right after work, so i may just go home to cook some turkey burgers, and eat a healthy dinner.

But YES, i'll be def going to more library events :)

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2017:
there's another author event coming up and it's more interesting a book topic...nazi germany, and Jewish author i believe, which is more up my alley. so i may go to that one, or try to do this one tonight, not eager to go alone...that's why...plus, it's from 6-7:30 so i'd be getting home late again...not sure i can do it again after last night getting home late too....even though i said i wanted to....

options, options :) doesn't mean i need to actually do anything lol.

i am enjoying having no urgency lately. for now. it's nice to not have to be busting my a$$ for anything coming up around the corner, it's the opposite mindset that i'm used to.


bearcountrygg on 11/16/2017:
Definitely more relaxing now....enjoy!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Nov 15, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

6:30am Home kombucha 70, did the trick unlike yesterday.

8:30am Breakfast: big banana 150, wrap 100, cream cheese 80, salami 100, coffee 50.

11:30pm Snack: peanuts, but not many, like 150 most along with some sf candies as well.

1pm lunch: to be tasty: leftover chinese, leftover smoked salmon small piece 50, and chips lol. perfect. and water. getting off the diet soda kick. 600 after full lunch and chocolate.

Snack before massage - probably a tasty apple 100

Dinner: I am not sure, maybe fast food because the massage ends around 7:30 and that means i'll be coming home 8pm - better to eat something light and outside. cheap and easy. :-) it's fine.

McDonald's 600 Total today is 2000 :-) 5day avg: 1912

____________________________________________

Getting a massage tonight at 6pm that i'll go to directly from work - that i originally planned bc i thought i'd be practicing the nypd fitness test again today....either way i am still sore from friday and ready for some nice relaxation tonight after work. And, it's close to home, no more than 15-20 minutes to get home after it.  and just under one hour to get there, i should get there on time as i'm leaving work just after 5pm today.

___________________________________________

As well as getting off the diet soda kick, I am also going to work to get off the anti-anxiety medication with the help of my doctor this year. :) Instead of finding a new dr, as long as i can be at this job, i can work on eliminating the medication and learning to better manage my life without it, hopefully!  I think i'll start to get off it on this appointment or the next one, after winter passes. i'll speak to my dr late next month.

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/15/2017:
Good idea getting off the meds...the side effects are never nice on that stuff. And of course diet soda is a baddy too....good for you...getting rid of that stuff.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Nov 14, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

Home: kombucha 100

Breakfast: wrap 100, pb 150, honey 50, banana 120, coffee 50

Lunch: at most, 650 cals.

1200 approx cals.

1250 before dinner.

dinner: some veg with sauce 200?, serving of smoked salmon 150 most, jello 5 calories lol, drink of seltzer mixed with alcohol lemon margarita flavor 100-150. total here: 500? might be forgetting something, but i do no think so...

total i think is 1750.

4day: 1790 per day.

 

 _______________________________________________________________

Even my wrists, still sore from the trigger pull practice, hurt while I type. It'll all heal, within time. Legs, Wrists, Ankle. Everything will feel better with time. 

_________________________________________________________________

As you all know or don't know - I've pulled myself out of the running for Police Officer in the NYPD as i took a practice fitness test and knew based on how I felt the rest of the weekend (sore and in pain) as well as how poorly i did on the test, that i am not a good candidate to continue further in the application process. 

It's upsetting thinking how in my mind I thought that i was ready and I thought it was my reality to be in, when in fact once i faced the real reality of TRYING the elements in the fitness test, it woke me up into my REAL reality that the NYPD is no longer an option for me. I had never tried the test before this past Friday. And someone of my size - probably just hovering above 110 lbs when i took it - and my low leg muscle / prior leg injuries - i couldn't withstand half of the elements on the test, if not more.  I'd never have passed - i didn't know how hard it would FEEL until i took the exam for myself. It's a reality i have faced - just upset that i had it in my head that it would feel much easier and doable.  I didn't realize my reality until i tried the test. I feel that I fooled myself.  It's been upsetting, i'm getting over it.

I am not working out this week - my legs still hurt and even my wrists are sore from practicing with a 12lb trigger pull. I am hurting. I am glad i do NOT need to physically torture myself any more. I am looking to be easy on my body this week - no exercise plans until after the weekend or starting Sunday, depending how I feel.

Life is always different, well sometimes, than we plan. I am lucky for what i have. My father. My job now. My father told me specifically not to worry. Not to worry - that i will not be a pauper. That i'll be ok, for life. He didn't say specifics. But i can trust that, and just be good to myself, relax a bit, do what makes me happy - the gym - and perhaps work later on my legs once they are feeling better - giving them 6-8 weeks of mostly rest - I'm taking a slight break from pushing my limits, it's not necessary at this time, at all. I deserve a break now.

I'm glad i got to go on the trips in September (Colombia) and October (Vegas).  I will not be traveling for awhile now - just trying to actually save some money for my own future and retirement. 

I am 35 and have MANY years left to work .... i'll just be taking life for now day by day.

BCGG gave good advice, but for now i am going to relax. I am a bit overwhelmed from all the pushing i did to myself...the running since last spring...just doing everything in my power to help myself to the NYPD. but sometimes, my best is not what is best or suitable for another organization's requirements.  I did my best. That's all i can do.

But for now, i need to rest / relax both my body and mind. I will relax thru the rest of fall and thru december.  I have already paid for a few local events to attend (wasting money, yup). but they willl be fun. local. to me, this is fun and good in life. I'll do this more - and more free local events. Lots of free. Lots of library events that i like. I'm going to enjoy life as best i can, and keep this job, as long as they don't kick me out. Which they haven't. 

I do not enjoy my job and it is stressful the type of work that i don't know well, but i'll stick it out - the money is actually GOOD right now...way better than i'll get ANYWHERE else possibly - and that is a reality. So, i'll show up, on time, and leave, on time. 

I'll do what i can to keep this job and keep a low profile here at work. Not open my mouth to cause a ruckus. I'll be ok, for now, for a year maybe a few years. That's all i can think about, for now. 

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/14/2017:
Words of encouragement: Be kind and patient with yourself. Give yourself time to mourn; this is a loss, give it and yourself the respect it/you deserve. Rest and time will be your greatest ally in this uncertain time.

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
Your advice is definitely the best advice right now. Thank you for understanding exactly how i feel right now as well. Rest and time is about the perfect things right now. Everything else can wait. I am lucky to be able to rest and take some time to just be patient and kind to myself.

I really need those things, before making any further decisions for now. I am lucky i have the opportunity to take time and rest...and not be having to look for jobs, etc., or doing anything else that luckily i do not need to do.

At least i can just relax, finally. No pushing, no hoping, no thinking about what i have to do next for this time being now.

THANK YOU.

I realize i should feel what i need to feel, feel the upset feelings, but then move forward.


bearcountrygg on 11/14/2017:
Donkey is right...you do need time to mourn, so be kind to yourself. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, that is a very dangerous job...maybe...just maybe....you have been protected from something that would have been very hard to deal with....you are now feeling disappointment..and sadness...but that will pass. I personally think you will find a great fulfillment in a different new endeavor, in the future and be glad things worked out like they did.

horn_of_plenty on 11/15/2017:
thank you bcgg, i just want to relax for now and realizing that the job situation is not as bad as i thought for now. so even though my future is VERY uncertain, i'll just rest on thinking about the jobs now.

If i were fit enough cardio/leg wise for the nypd, i would have gone but it's not a realistic opportunity any more.

I will go back to my 3x a week weights sessions at the gym, take a break fully from running, and go back into cycling later on, when i feel fully better (2 months).


innerpeace on 11/14/2017:
Oh the job! We do what we must to live.

Do you job hunt at all? What would you even be interested in doing now?

I'm sure after you rest, you will have a new lease on life and some new doors will open. good luck.

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
Not ready to leave this job. I get paid very well for the time being. I'll try not to think about having to leave. I do luckily have some connections if i ever did have to go.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's what will be for now for me.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Nov 13, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

Struggling a bit.  My cardio is horrible - didnt train it really at all - and a lot of the PO test is based on having decent cardio. plus i'm a female. my arm muscles don't seem to have a lot of pull on my passing of the exam.

My legs are tender and sore. My legs feel like fire is on the outside of my lower legs.  My wrists are sore from practicing too much with a 10-11lb pistol.  Yes, i am complaining. Yes, i hurt.

Dealing with inner anxiety about the whole PO process. And wonderfing if my leg pain (on outer lower legs) is mostly anxiety-caused.

Home: kombucha 70

work: some coffee 30, wrap 100, honey 50, peanut butter 150 330. and most of a banana 100

11:30 peanuts 150

2pm lunch: squash 100, sauce 50, chicken burger 150, chips 200: 500 total.

1150 total.....

3:30pm snack: crackers 120

more crackers on way home = 60

1350 calories today.

Skipped dinner. 3day: 1800 per day.

___________________________________________

On another note, I removed myself from the process of applying for PO for the NYPD.  I am no longer an applicant and cancelled it.

The leg pain, whether it was anxiety or not, was too much to bear for the weekend and still today. I will now take it very easy this week.

When i feel better, i'll start by changing my entire routine. Additionally, I will stop running for awhile....and switch to the bike. Short periods of time.

I will restart with 3days a week gym sessions like I used to....and do a little cardio during those sessions.

No more 2 days a week jogging and 2 days a week weights....I'm going back to my preference. and relaxing this Winter.

No, I will not be a police officer in this lifetime.

I wouldn't have been able to bear the course and would have eventually gotten injured. I know my limitations - my legs are not strong.

My upper body, yes, i've trained it years, but based on the practice test, i discovered for myself that i was in no way ready for the academy test or training...and rather than waste all my 5 days that i have left this year on going into NYC and applying for something that would have ended very poorly, i decided just to pull out and PULL OUT NOW.

 

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/13/2017:
Don't give up on yourself, you have done your best and continue to work hard, give it your all and things will work out whatever direction they take you. I firmly believe that whatever happens is what is supposed to happen. Maybe try some meditation or relaxation exercises, but always know that we know you have worked very very hard for this, soak those legs in a hot bath and try to relax a bit. ;>}

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
Thank you for all the good advice...sometimes a person needs to listen to when their body is telling them to STOP. so i listened :)

Even if i did my best, it was my best. I am really proud of myself. And now i'll rest my legs until they feel better. And live my life as it plays out...and everything will be OK, for now.

I'll try to save my money...and it seems this is the VERY BEST job i will have and i hope to have it as long as i possibly can...

life is always different than we think we've planned. the test was very, very hard and now i'm paying the consequences and boy do my legs HURT right now. Just constant pins and needles. Like a fire on the outside of my lower legs.


innerpeace on 11/13/2017:
I'm sure this was a very heartfelt and thought out decision. I hope you can find peace in your current work place. I admired your training and was so excited for you to reach your ultimate goal. I have learned in life that goals and dreams change. I hope you continue to do what satisfies your soul.

Rest up...another dream awaits!

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
Thank you so much, IP. It was heartfelt...i had to listen to my hurting legs.

I did cry quite a bit this AM over having to make the only (right) choice. At least I still have 5 days off to use from now until new days start up in April. LOL. and i got a couple nice vacations in....during this Fall.

Now, i'm going to live life more at home..no travels i mean. pray i don't get fired in the next couple years. and just work towards being healthy again. taking off the diet drinks again and i may wean off coffee, again.

i'll try again to be healthier. and try to realize more that there is another dream that awaits.

thank you for your kindness.

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
At least i can enjoy all the good times with friends coming up - November thru December i have nice plans.

i just need to NOT get fired / lose a job.


bearcountrygg on 11/13/2017:
Take pride in the fact that you gave it a try....you work hard and you play hard......and the way this world is going.....cops are not getting any respect from too many people......I had 3 uncles that were in the Oakland county police department...and 2 of them died in their 40's and 50's...the 3rd had a stroke in his 60's....it's a very stressful job.....you love life and live it to the fullest.....now you can be as active as you want to be, and have fun with your friends and travel and enjoy your life....Now you can concentrate on working and living without being shot at....and THAT IS A THING!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
I feel better than i did this morning, but, always scared i can lose my job and know it will be sickening to find another for similar pay - prob wouldn't happen. but for now, i feel ok. i feel better.

horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
thank you for your comments and kindness as well.

I am in NO SHAPE to do lots of running. it would have been a waste to ever leave this job.


happy-1 on 11/13/2017:
Hugs, you will prevail.

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
TY Happy, I will..


bearcountrygg on 11/13/2017:
Well now you know that you need to apply yourself fully to this current job and if by chance you should lose it then you have gained a very good addition to your resume....but now that you know you want to keep it...it's time to make yourself invaluable to the business. Make them fear losing you because they need you so much. That is the advise we gave our kids and the attitude Denny and I worked with through the years. You can do it, and if by chance they have to lay people off then it would be an opportunity to find an even better one....try to stay positive....you have plenty of drive and detrmination. You will be fine!!!!!

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
Your advice is very good advice, I appreciate you putting i the effort to write it to me. I especially like your last sentence, above.

Taking a deep breath and doing what i can now here at this job.


Donkey on 11/13/2017:
I'm sure this must have been a very difficult decision for you to make. (((hugs)))

You've gotten some very good, wise advice & insight from others here; take it.

In my journey, I found that riding the bike is a lot more enjoyable than running or even walking that I thought it would ever be; this might apply to you too. I know it's much kinder on the back/hips/knees/legs. Probably kinder on the ankles too.

Now your workouts can be just for YOU.

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2017:
Yes, I appreciate your support. I think it's not really advice i even need at this time...it is the support that i'll be ok...

I DO want to work on my legs and one day be able to do better, have more strength. Not now while they heal, obviously.

I do appreciate the cycling / biking advice. I will prob take up cycling. I know a good instructor at my gym, a friend of mine, older and retired with TWO KNEE REPLACEMENTS and she is strong as THE ROCK! I think that's a wrestler's name!?

I am going to relax. First off, i'm going back to those weight routines i loved most at 3x a week...and i'll see my strength improve greatly again.....thanks for all your good words.

one thing i cannot do -- is take any classes in estimating for what i do now - i refuse. My dad will be ok with my choice. It'll be ok. I want to enjoy my time out of work how i want to do it - and i refuse to sit in a classroom.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Nov 12, 2017
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 112.0

7:30am Kombucha and plums 150

8:30am  Breakfast: bar and peanut butter 350, coffee 50 400

11:30 Snack: banana 150

12:45 Lunch: chips and chicken burger 450

total so far:  1150, very good..

Snack afternoon: fruit?

1500 healthy before dinner .....

Dinner: TBD

 

2050 cals total.

2 day avg: 2000

Progress as of today: 5 lbs lost so far, only 0 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/12/2017:
Chicken burger.....that sounds good!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/13/2017:
yes...great change from turkey!



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