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Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Dec 30, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.6

____________________________________________________

Home: selzter with ACV and also another drink. good.

Breakfast at work: banana and coffee with extra milk 200.

Late breakfast: wrap with cream cheese and lox 200. (yes it's small and the cream cheese is whipped around 80 cal and easily spreadable so it works, wrap is only 60 cal and lox around only 50 cal)

total so far: 400 :-)

Lunch, maybe early like noon: healthy - potatoes 200, bok choy 100 most, veggie burger 150. total here is great: 450-550...very good.

total after lunch is the bomb: 850-950...:-) snacking 50.

dinner - very healthy - cooked veggies and some tofu...around 450 and raspberries 100. 550.

1550...i will prob have ice cream later tonight :-) yup, 300.

total today: 1850, successful  week again!

7day avg:1898 = EXCELLENT! I LIKE 1800's!

We will get out early at 2pm most probably...then i will go to park - weather is windy / cloudy with possible flurries, but i will still walk at park, then home and relaxing! 

Park ended up being PERFECT and sunny!!! I walked 3 laps with my coworker...going to find out the mileage by googling it...SO NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND TO WALK WITH!

____________________________________________________

 So I am sooo glad I am a member of 2 gyms. On Christmas, my gym next to work was closed ( i don't prefer this gym anyways for weekends !) so I went to the fave gym closer to me but still  it was only open 7-1pm!

And on New years Day, my fave gym is again only open 7-1 which stinks if i want to sleep in on New Years Day which of course I am!....

...but my gym near work is OPEN this time (not closed like on Christmas)  (New Years Day SUNDAY!) & for normal hours until 6pm!!!! Now I reap the benefits of 2 gym memberships!!!! Really worked out this holiday season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had to tell you this!

Both gyms are relatively cheap, so it makes no difference $...it's just convenience !

The really cheap gym by work is $99 for 6 months...and the more expensive gym near me is $320 for one year. so the total for one year to both gyms is still reasonable at $420...so i am only paying like 33% more for another whole gym with different hours I only need 6 months right now from the gym close to work as I might just be leaving my current job 6 months from now!  I am training for the NYPD.

It worked out really, really well this season bc they had very different hours of operation on all the holidays - so i was able to plan where to go and not skip any workouts. amazing!

I wish i had a planet fitness / blink by me - those gyms are so cheap at $10-$15 per month. But they aren't close and there isn't good parking. 

Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/30/2016:
That certainly makes life a little easier for sure. Have a great day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/30/2016:
Sure does :-D


innerpeace on 12/30/2016:
Have a great New Year's Eve!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/30/2016:
Same to you...Happy New Year!


Duaa123. on 12/30/2016:
Very cool and yea ..it is sheap truly .. oh here gym is so expensive and I truly hope if there is a gym next to my home .. I truly hope that .. most of gym is for men bc rarly women here go to gym ! And I just depend on my walk machine , free gym in my college and my aunt give me a nice machine to lose fat im my wast .. Have a good day H

Horn_of_plenty on 12/30/2016:
Yeah you do think it's cheap!? I think it is too :)

Both the gyms I go to are more for men which i love. I love the energy they have when working out & i feel really good workout out amongst the men!

That's so nice of your Aunt. When i was 20 & 21 I used to go to the really nice free gym at my college too :-D I miss it!


Donkey on 12/31/2016:
If you can swing it financially (which it seems you can), it's definitely worth belonging to 2 gyms. In my book, I don't see this as extravagant but rather a necessity, especially considering your career goals. But even if NYPD wasn't in your future, it'd still be worth the personal investment.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/31/2016:
Yes, that is the reason I do it. I feel it has become a necessity with or without NYPD it's nice to be able to have options regarding one of the things I consider a priority in my life - going to the gym - not a luxury or option...but a priority! Well said J-Donkey!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Dec 29, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.6

Hello!  At work for the day...gym later :)  Going to drive to the further gym not next to work, i am not in mood for Richie's gym today...and don't want to work out in a shirt (only sports bra) so i need to go the better gym in better area for that. Not the "men's gym."...! looking forward already to the gym after work.  Lately i'm very tired and can sleep pretty well even after gym even if i wake up during night, i fall back to sleep relatively easily. :-D  

_______________________________________________

Apple cider vinegar, strong mix, did the trick :) at home.

Breakfast so far: banana on way to work & a banana at work. 240They are going bad anyways and at the point where after tomorrow they'll need to be thrown out. I have two left - will buy more soon! 240 and coffee with extra milk 60.

Planning on not snacking a lot in morning and waiting to have my breakfast later to keep cals down. wrap with cream cheese and lox 250.

lunch might be high as 700, but healthy. did include some chips. 

after work before gym bar and caffeine 150

1400 :-D

after gym: thinking smores ice cream. yup!

far gym tonight bc i am wanting the better equipment...

1720 total.

1906 6-day average!!!!!!! nice!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

_______________________________________________

I am finished discussing P as I have a headache about it lol...and i def gave him enough texts to read and think about.  I am not angry at him or myself. I don't have time for that.

 

Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/29/2016:
Hope you figure out the P situation. Sounds like a healthy day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/29/2016:
Me too. If he cannot move forward and try harder i guess i can only give up on the whole thing. thank you.


Duaa123. on 12/29/2016:
I hope the best for u .

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/29/2016:
Thank you so much :)


puddles on 12/29/2016:
Have a great day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/29/2016:
Thank you :)


Donkey on 12/29/2016:
Did I mention to you that I'm thinking of starting an apple cider vinegar regimen? I checked out a library book that talks about all of the applications for ACV, how to make your own, some recipes that have ACV, etc. I think it will help -- I'm just afraid about the effect it may have on my tooth enamel. Is that something to be worried about? (You may respond below if you like...)

Horn_of_plenty on 12/29/2016:
I don't worry about it...but i think it's better to brush teeth after? either way, it's not something i worry about although i have heard this....i would rather be able to poop before work...maybe read up on the best times to brush teeth and drink the stuff...i think brushing teeth and then drinking it is considered not the best?

it's difficult though for me to manage more than just drinking it....

it is true its very acidic.

but so is coffee? i think you said you didn't drink coffee?

but the results of the ACV / kombucha type stuff is very good and gets things moving in the morning which i really like.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Dec 28, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.6

i would like a 2month vacation starting NOW!

edit: at 2pm he hasn't texted. i did text him and tell him i was upset about that...i called him and asked how he couldn't remember to do it - to make someone feel good during the day...whatever we shall see what he has to say. not impressed....though the day isn't done.........2pm is when he starts work.

i have a major headache of my own over my own work. it's making me want to vomit bc i am pretty darn confused over things i don't know how to do.!!!!

______________________________________________________

 

Home around 6:30am-7am: apple cider vinegar in seltzer and worked like a charm.

8:30am breakfast at work: coffee with milk 50, banana 120, later a wrap with cream cheese and lox 200 - 370.... 

11:15am: 230 Pumpkin NASTY protein bar (will not buy again).

700 maybe for lunch, sorta big i think...but healthy. aside from being a little bit salty.

clementine on way home - 50.

1350...def going to bed early tonight...just not in the best of moods today...not at all.

450 cal for dinner: mix of microwaved and then mashed squash with stevia and cinnamon, some raspberries, cooked cranberries, a yogurt light, and some light ice cream. lots of stuff for 450 cal!

1800 today. excellent.

5-day avg: 1944 - decent.

for dinner i'm thinking just to have dessert type dish. cooked squash, some cooked cranberries and some frozen yogurt. yup.

______________________________________________________

today i'm working on something that is too hard for me to do.  It's frustrating, making me nauseous and i hate this job right now....I wish it came easier....this task is over my head. way over my head.

_______________________________________________________

More about P & I...and i why i am happy and content with what (no matter how little it seems to others) we share at the moment:

I asked him to text me each day these few days left till Friday. Today will be day #1 and I am hoping he follows thru. The reason i ask him to do these things is simple. If he does the minor things I ask of him to do, he is listening to me and understands that I desire him to show me that I am a priority when he does it first (of course better if without my asking...we shall get there one day!)...  

other times i have asked him to text me FIRST - last Valentine's, my bday...he does do it...he should do it without my asking...but, since it's far from a typical relationship....things like this are not always as clear cut as it seems. Like, i wasn't his gf last valentines (as i am not his gf now), so he didn't need to wish it to me - but i told him i wanted him to. he did...

He struggles to open up. I don't want to ever live with him permanently as my apt is in a better location work / NYPD wise. It's cheap and in a good & safe area. It's very clean and no crime. I like my space too. I do not wish for a "typical" relationship or for him to date me in a typical manner.

I am NOT a typical woman.  I do NOT want a typical man. 

This is why I love Paul. No, i will not tell him that I LOVE him until the right time, in person, no matter what. It will never be texted or left on a voicemail or said over the phone in general.

Many here advise that I am not his priority and to move on - but for me, the word "priority" takes on a different meaning. 

I like my own space and alone time. I do not want ot focus all of MY energy on the guy. I do not want, right now and maybe NEVER, any kids.

I do not want the same things that the average person wants. And this is why I want to date Paul. Because he's NOT average. He's NOT typical.  He's smarter than avg. More independent than average. More focussed than average and more resourceful than average. He has huge qualities and traits in being a leader but without having to impart any force. He leads by example and at his workplace ( i have been there countless times) he shows his employees what he expects with his own actions.

This man is NOT a user.  He is 45 and has established himself in his work but is not content with just settling. He is always looking for ways to increase his clientele and make new relationships and partnering with nearby health facilities. He DOES need the time and space to make this happen.

He does most of the paperwork for his facility on his own. He doesn't hire extra hands for accounting. he does it along with the other co-owner.

He is a physical therapist and has his patients but his responsibilities go beyond the office where i would see him. He has other duties. He partners with a nearby college and has offered to have a PT student study with him - observe and gain experience with P at his facility. P does more than average. He is more responsible than average.

He is different than average. Not a user. This is why i like him.

He does listen to me. All the crazy texts i send he reads. and he remembers everything that i say. he has never doubted me or told me things i say are irrational or that i should stop. If anything, once or twice he's told me to think higher of myself (but not usually this is rare for him to say that much).

he sometimes thinks negatively of himself...and that's when i tell him he's far from it...we both have some struggles to move past. 

He struggles with communication and wants to.  He is trying. That's why he answered the phone when i called him last Thursday night.  But also Thursday evenings he in general has more time and is more relaxed as his work week usually ends on Thursdays.  So i called at a good time :-D  And he picked up! :) right away..

It was just my doing as his for the way our phone conversation changed over the course of the hour. We chatted about everything and anything. We both are passionate people.  If i didn't want what progressed over the phone to happen (adult content), then I wouldn't have continued or i would have told him i wasn't comfortable. But i was very comfortable with the phone conversation, with him, with the whole scenario.

I had my own needs that night and every day and so far this "relationship" no matter how "surface and lacking substance" it comes across to others as, it is not lacking substance to me.

The manner of how I see Paul and the slow relationship progress we are making is what I am content with RIGHT NOW.

To be in the academy, NYPD, to be studying all summer, I will not have time for dating ... but i will have time for Paul.

I am happy with my life right now bc it suits me. It works for me. I don't want more, I don't want to see Paul more than i have.....there's nothing i feel i am missing. 

Everything happens when it's supposed to happen.

And i do not feel used in the least. It's equal.

I can text him as often as I wish....and if he wishes to not always respond i do understand. He understands my need to be in contact, EVERYDAY, multiple times...and i understand his need to not be. 

It is equal because we both respect each other's desires. 

There's room for us to grow and learn how to share more.  There's ALWAYS time for that.

I am not worries. 

He is an owner of his own company and doens't need a thing financially from me.  And I do NOT NEED his money.

This is only about the love for another person for who they are, not what they have.

____________________________________________________

I have asked him here and there if he is gay, he is said NO. He was never married, i've been to his "bachelor pad" condo...it's all male, trust me!...and no kids....he has had two girlfriends in the past. Long term i believe - haven't asked too much about it. One of his exes is now divorced.

He has a lot of money for himself. So he's not looking for any from me ( i do NOT have any to give him anyways!). He's always accepted my thoughtful gifts i have given him though i didn't visit him at work for Christmas or give him anything because he had asked that we keep whatever this is outside his office, so i decided to actually respect his wish this time around.

I have never went more than 2-3 months without visiting him at work besides now...as i'm trying to respect his own desires to keep this and work separate which is understandable at the moment.

He has made himself a nice life as a bachelor and has friends to do things with. He has mentioned that i'd like a "wife" as a joke...but meaning it.

i don't know what will happen inthe future, but i like what we share right now.

I am able to reach out to him, as much as i want to, he doens't ever complain or get upset with him. And i try to be the same with him - although YES I admit i am the one who pushes the relationship forward....which i am fine with doing :-D This is my nature in general with all relationships....so dating and stuff I like to be the one making the moves.

It may not be the standard way, but it's my standard.  I like the feminine approach, when the woman takes the stand, when the woman makes the moves, when we choose what we want and who we want to be with. This is MY WAY.

Hopefully this entry casts a little light on what i'm dealing with (a good thing to deal with) with P.

everyone here - i'm not a typical / normal lady....i don't want what probably any of you want...so i think this is what i want - Paul.

Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

Duaa123. on 12/28/2016:
It seem u truly like ur live and ur freedom and dont want to feel that u are (linked ) to someone . And it is stranger but nice .. and it is really a good palning about ask him to sent u a masseage everyday.. and yes if he do that , it is mean u are in his mind and I hope that .. Although u are the first women I see her saying that about this type of relationship but it ok if it Competent for u and for ur planing .. For me I hope to live in love as romeo and juliet ^_^' But are u sure that he like this relationship too.. if he is a busy man and like working , the answer may be yes.. but can he stay a far away from u for long time without looking for other womenĜŸ!

U know life is not only for working and for job .. we live one time and we have to enjoy it with people who we loved , sisters , brothers , familiy and and a kind partner .

But it is seem u have planing in ur future ..and it is nice to make it real ..and eveeyone know what he want ..

I hope the best the best for u

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
you say it well. I do not think he is looking to be with other women right now. I do know that I am def in his life - I'm in his phone everyday...

I like what you say, your reminder to live life this one time and make time for loved ones. I do plan for this with him.

thank you for understanding how i am different, or at least accepting it.


puddles on 12/28/2016:
I left my comment on my post. Have a great day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
Thank you Fran :)


innerpeace on 12/28/2016:
I'm glad you know what you want. You are correct in saying everyone needs something different and most times usually know. Do what you have to do girl! Don't worry about other people's comments.

Did he text you today like you asked? I'm just saying sometimes I get busy and forget to text when I'm supposed to. I have the UPS guy's number and supposed to text him if he is to come back in the afternoon. Sometimes I forget and he shows up and I'm like...oh, no I'm sorry we don't have anything. My bad!

Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
i think it will not work out with P...i have no idea what he's going to write back if he does. i sorta gave him a TON of LONG texts letting him know how i feel and how i feel in general. it will probably be over. hard for me to move on...i will update all on this situation. i am not sure about how he's thinking


grannyannie on 12/28/2016:
I'll stay out of the P discussion. Hope you do find the right person for you if it isn't P.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/29/2016:
thanks GrannyA..tough holiday week over here.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Dec 27, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.6

I wrote a more exciting entry yesterday (Monday!) ....

Late morning getting ready for work 6:45am ½ cup (and prob more like 3/4 cup) of ACV in seltzer (did nothing to help me at all since I ate a big meal sorta late at 4:30pm yesterday and no haven’t digested it yet...) 

Breakfast: banana 120, coffee with almond milk and 2 splenda 30, wrap 60 with cream cheese 100 and lox 50. 360 :-D

11:15am - Atkins Bar 140; appetite today is supringly mostly suppressed! i am managing appetite really well today. nobody's bothering with me...low key and easy day...!!!!!!! slow day so far!

LIFE IS GREAT!

I am def wanting low cals today & gonna def do it!

12:15pm early lunch bc i couldn't last - potato 150-200 in a light cumin seasoned flavor, bean sprouts 50, and veggies 150, and spicy chicken jerky 200 - 600 tops.

before gym: bar and caffine 150.

after gym: really good - using stevia - kabocha squash 100, cooked cranberries 60, peanut butter 80, ice cream 90: 330...will have a hair more of something...and maybe a mouse yogurt? lil extra ice cream. 1600.

1650 :-D

4-day avg: 1980 4-day average, very good :-D

________________________________________________

WORST GAS EVER TODAY BECAUSE I COULDN'T USE THE BATHROOM IN THE AM SO JUST REALLY BAD GAS RIGHT NOW AND AIR BLOATING SUCKS...SHOULD FIX ITSELF BY TOMORROW AM...

 

 

______________________________________________________________

 

Good Morning! I am back at work this AM. I got here in record time, on time. No traffic at all on the roads which is nice.  Many people at the office are on vacation this week, so it’ll be nice & quiet here. No stress. Leaving on time for gym – going next door to work to save time. All is great.  Happy to feel  good this Holiday time.

Yes, I am tired and maybe I can blame it slightly on the sleeping pill, but I took it very early last night so it’d wear off almost totally.  I feel that if I’m trying to increase my fitness level, my body does need more rest. It’s not an easy feat with my lifestyle and work / job. So taking a sleeping pill here & there has been good for me. I get in extra hours of rest which is very good for muscle and body recovery when increasing physical training. This is something very important to me!

Late start this AM…didn’t want to get outta bed but I def got tons of sleep.  I took a sleeping pill last night to help me since I tend to have trouble sleeping after an extra day or two off from work. I’m glad I took the pill, around 5pm, because I was in bed before 9 and sleeping until around 5:30am. Waking up 1 or two times but falling back asleep very easily.

I don’t take sleeping pills often anymore as my sleep has improved greatly over the past few months.

_________________________________________________________ 

Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/27/2016:
I took sleeping pills at one point in my life just because with job, baby, and all the other stuff that was going on but had the hardest time getting off of them and when I did my sleep pattern never went back to its normal state. Just my experience with sleeping pills.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
I am resorting to the pills to help me sleep EXTRA when i have the time to sleep extra...and i feel better in general when i can rest my body this way (instead of just being awake at home and tired...)

It's helping me to get rest on the times i am able so that i can enjoy the weekends more and overall improve my fitness by getting more of the rest required to do so...

I thank you for the suggestion and lately i do not take sleeping pills very much any more bc they keep me really tired for over 12 hours after i take them.


grannyannie on 12/27/2016:
Maybe you need more fiber? More raw veggies, oatmeal, dried fruit?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
Situation was fixed by morning today for sure...!

Sometimes if i eat too much, too late in the afternoon or night, I am unable to digest it through the whole system by the morning - which makes sense. too much volume is just too much volume...

also, my pooping has a tendency to slow / stop when i'm under pressure or rushing...so i was rushing yesterday morning.

Luckily, all in all, I am managing it quite well.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
Thank you for the suggestions..appreciated.

Lol, so this is your first day on the trip with two days sun! amazing...!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Dec 26, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 115.6

Good Morning everyone!

i just did a kind deed, hope to write about it later :)  ...OK update - i wrote an email to housing managment for a our apt porter (custodian). He's excellent and he wants an apartment here. There's many, MANY buildings and i hope he gets his wish. I wrote saying how thorough a job he does and how he is very serious and places such an importance on doing the best job he can for our residents. I wrote how I hope he can get his wish and get back a little of what he gives us - the opportunity to live amongst us or nearby in one of the other buildings!

____________________________________

Lately, I'm just wanting some space & quiet and alone time. Sorry for not commenting much right now...my mind isn't into it here...sometimes we just need a break...not a full break like i don't want to be here no!, just i'll get back to it when my mind is more present. right now just finishing drying my bath mats and going to read...slow day today. so thankful for another slow day. peaceful day.

i do have to pick up a few items from the supermarket (bananas and seltzer). and i want to go to the park and have a nice 2-3 mi walk.

I will also pick up my Rx at the drug store, pick up waters at the same store, and possibly detergent as I have a couple left but usually stock up during sales. but this is it. not too much for the whole day. doable. always something to do..but not doing any extra :-) 

By doing a few errands today, my work week will be much easier. And this is an important goal! The next couple weeks are 4-day weeks. Bc today i have off for observance of Christmas and next week Monday is off for observance of the New Year. This is so nice. Trying to de-stress and make these weeks easier. I am fortunate for them and it's nice to plan and do errands now - so i can relax during the week and not stress out - rather, stress so much less!!!!.  

This winter, with how all the holidays are working out, as been really, really wonderful. With Mondays off and long weekends for these holidays...It should be really nice up until March. March will be a long month but i hope to have my one sick day left to use during that month so that I do in fact get at least one 3-day weekend then so that the month feels much more doable!

_________________________________________________

7:30am nice breakfast: Flavored Oatmeal Pecan Cranberry 190, banana 120,yogurt 120, lil extra stevia also. was in the mood for a sweet breakfast. 430. great :)

10am snack: wrap with pb and my cooked cranberry preserves  300

Noon: light wrap 60 with cream cheese 100 and 3 pcs pepperoni 80: 240, popcorn 100.

Before 3mi walk! go me!!! doing good with this walking business!!!! i had a bar 150,natural, higher sugar variety.

Bigger dinner: a seaweed salad 100? - not a high sugar type, but oil was in there, leftover veggies in olive oil and some extra bean sprouts 300, potato 100, nuts and other veg 100. 600, excellent. then ice cream 250 - tried a new flavor of halo - Pistachio which is great. 850 total. 

Total today is nice: 2070 total...decent. i know tomorrow's gonna be a "hungry day" after all this indulging the past 3 days!!!!!!!

3 day avg: 2090. is OK! for sure.  

I had a nice 3 mi walk (i actually don't know the exact mileage, will try to find out, but it was around 45 minutes which is super duper!)

____________________________________________

Since I'm up early, I decided to wash my bath mats & a winter jacket that was really in need of smelling a bit fresher! :-)  Ya see, living in my apartment building, it's good to take advantage of a free laundry room when I can !

I was going to wash my bed sheets (lately it seems i do them every couple weeks instead of every week) but i do wash pillow cases every week, but decided that the clean pillow cases are enough right now until next weekend when I will wash everything.

Progress as of today: 1.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/26/2016:
enjoy your day off J.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/26/2016:
Enjoyed it fully...hope to get back on here tomorrow or so...commenting. just need time away from doing the usual :)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Dec 25, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Happy Holidays to all my friends here on DD :-)

Again, I thank you for your comments regarding P and I will NEVER be offended. I respect your honest opinions and will get back to all of you...My mind isn't ready though to write back yet as I'm thinking about getting ready for the gym...!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Breakfast: cooked Kabocha squash (similar to acorn) that i blended and then i added some cocoa powder to as well as stevia 100-150 cal?, with just cooked cranberrries (made with my stevia of course!) 30, and small plum 50 most, seltzer with stevia, some energy drink, and a protein muffin also 230 i think it was... TOTAL HERE: 460 - excellent...trying to get my body ready for the gym soon...leaving around 10:30am for it. gym is opened till 1 so i plan to be there 11am-1pm.

And a bar 150

610 before gym.

After gym chips 260 and ice cream 280 550

1160

Did all laundry!

4pm snack cooked veggies light oil sauce 250 and a wrap 60 with cream cheese 80 an egg 70 and 2 PCS pepperoni 50: 510 oh and brussel sprouts 90 F 1760...so far was starving so the meat and fat helped

Total today is 2100, decent!

2-day avg is 2200, decent :-)

My workout was very intense! Very!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Busy day yesterday with both a couple errands and then afternoon & evening with family for 1st night of Chanukah.  We don't give gifts anymore bc everyone is an adult and gifts are more for the kids on this holiday.

We also had all our bdays throughout the fall, so, no reason to spend more money right now. In my family, the holidays are more for thankfulness and not big ellaborate gifts. As a child, I did get a gift each of the 8 nights of Chanukah.

I am back home and my gym is open till 1pm today...so i'll be going there shortly. It's my 1 workout for this holiday weekend until Tuesday. I'm glad it's open bc it made it so that i could continue to fit in 3 workouts this week and not skip 1! Wonderful...

When things settle, I plan on doing laundry today while most of the building celebrates Christmas (I only celebrate Chanukah) and make use of a pretty free laundry room?...instead of doing laundry on my day off tomorrow...seems like a plan. ...

Then, tomorrow, I will be pretty free. Go to park for sure, for another walk...and in general pick up food / waters and errands like those, maybe get new windshield wipers (don't want to, but would be good to get better ones to deal with winter storms & snow since mine are horrible and don't work great).  and that's enough for tomorrow, without laundry.

And for tomorrow, if I want to be lazy and stay home all day except for a walk at the park, that'll be quite fine too!  I am really enjoying quiet time at home this winter so far. Looking for a low key winter in general...

 

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/25/2016:
Wishing you a great day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/27/2016:
I did, thank you very much xoxo


Duaa123. on 12/25/2016:
Good calory and healthy day .. have a good day

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/27/2016:
I've been doing so well this season...proud of myself for MAINTAINING a good weight for me!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/27/2016:
the correct grammer is: Maintaining a good weight for MYSELF :-D (not me)


grannyannie on 12/25/2016:
Have a great day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/27/2016:
This weekend was GREAT indeed !!! So thankful for a gym day and visiting the park a couple times too! Awesome to be ACTIVE.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Dec 24, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Thank you all for your comments on my entry...at the moment it's still early and i am not able to comment back to you all just yet or to make any wise overall comment back. I do value your insights and opinions.  slept around 11hrs. was very tired.

9:30am Breakfast: 400.  

Chilli 250 and bar 150 at diff times 800 :-)

around 2200-2300. excellent. healthy.

I had a Chanukah dinner over with my parents. 

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/24/2016:
Glad you got a nice long sleep. Have a great Christmas Eve.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/25/2016:
thank you so much F :-)...it was a good 1st night of Chanukah with my immediate family. Came back home for the night to sleep at my own place :)

Merry Christmas! I hope your Turkey comes out nice and moist!


Duaa123. on 12/24/2016:
Ooh yes christmas will be soon.. have a great day , yesterday I was busy and I did not tell u my full opinion.. u know him since years and this is stranger bc if he truly love u , he will ask you to live with him.. I hope if u know Arabic to tell you clearly how was the diffrent between the 2 men who I loved ..and how the true lover do.. first man was text me every 2 days ok and when he knew that I diagnosed with hypertention he really shocked and become call me many times..and he engage me forcefully bc of me always aske him to do that and I have resons for that and at the end was as u know.. I felt he was ( care for me more than love). And this caring are come from this years of knowing each other but I loved his character which I discovered it is his personality with all people not only for me . so think of that .he may be accept u and did not try to change u bc it is part of his personality .. but now for the other man who know me when I was depressed ..he is from another small city in a desert and has another culture even if we are both are saudi .. but we ware friend then become lover.. and ooooh what the big difrrent btween true lover and 50% lover.. I will just telling u simply , it will be in their words . He will always telling u that u will be in his live forever.. for this doctor,when he ake me what do u do and I say I am cleaning the kitchen he say ooh some day u will wash it in our home .. today I show him picture of a nice home and I told him how it is os nice . He saied ok we will live in a such home .. and aloot of things.. men are not like women only romantic .. they think about married and having children from their true lover .. even if he busy .. I dont want to jadge on P and the easiest way is asking him directly do u want me to be ur patner for the rest of ur life? and u will know whole thing from his answer.. my previous fiance I asked him such aQ and his answer make me know that It was love from my side and yes he love me but 60%and he was kind with me bc it is his personality !!! And yes I want to tell u we have praying called istekara which is u pray and ask god if this thing or man is good for u or not and I was praying in my fiance and I asked god to let me see dream about him but I did not feel any thing no dreams but I ignored all that bc my huge love for him .. but in the doctor , the thing that make me accept him is I prayed to god and I saw him 2 times in a nice dreams one of them is ask me to enter his car and I enterd but in the behind seats and he look to me and say ..my sweaty come to set near me , and this dream mean that god telling me to know that this doctor want me to live with me for rest of his life and yes we know each other for only 5 months but in the second month he asked me my father number to contact with him also I talked to my mom about him and they talked to each other.. it fast but we have this thing in my culture.. atrue lover is the one who ask u to marry him .bc we can not live in the same home and having realtionship without married ^_^" .. but my previous fiance engage me after a year of forcing and I was really stupid in that time but love make me an able to see truly thing .. I talk a lot .. I hope the best for u and hope he love u truly as much as u loved him .. wich u the best



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Dec 23, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

12/23/16 - 1900 weekly avg - good, very close to goal of 1800's.

_______________________________________

Home: tons of ACV in seltzer with stevia. did the trick. woke up late again. :)

8:30-8:45am: Breakfast at work: banana 120, wrap 60 with cream cheese 80 and salami 120, coffee with butter! 50: 430 :-D (there wasn't any milk left but i saw butter in the fridge so i tried a bulletproof coffee)...look it up, it's a real thing :)

11am snack: natural vegan bar, moderate carbs/mod fat/mod protein. 190 (overall a decent bar bc it's natural). 

total so far is great: 620 :-D

lunch might be just a wrap of a meatball marinated pesto steak! leftovers from party (in a light wrap) with some leftover cooked veggies from work party...around 550?-600

1200 tops...1400 before dinner.

dinner around 750.

2150. good.

weekly avg: hovering around 1900 - good.  walked 3 miles :-)

...i have a lot to take home that i took from work (cooked veggies) leftover from the party that should last me the weekend till like Monday? nice. less food shopping & money spending - the amount of money these cooked veggies would have cost me would be approx $30-$40 based on the weight of them...so...i'd say it's worth bringing them home! 

getting outta work at 2pm...off to park...will take work leftovers home...the veggies. 

__________________________________________

Last night I was able to catch up on the phone with the man that everyone suggests I forget about. All my friends both here and in the world outside the internet.  And they tell me simply bc they want the best for me. And I love how my friends are trying to make it so i do not hurt myself...

...but, i do keep on trying to communicate with P. He was my old physical therapist and 11yrs older than me.  Last night we had the opportunity to chat for just about an hour and it was so nice. I do love him already, despite that we don't see each other often we do have a good connection. It's more than I usually have with anyone.  He does understand me and never puts me down, EVER.  He never tells me that I am too much or that I should stop being me or that anything i do isn't enough or right. 

He supports me, despite his inability to communicate well.

He is holding back. A ton. but, despite it all, he listens to me and allows me to be the real me. I am not fake towards him, never lie, never trying to be someone I am not. 

I am so lucky to share my life (everyday) with him. I do text him every single day. He doesn't always reply on Mon-Wed when his mind is really into his work (he is a workaholic). But, I know he is listening. I know he remembers what I tell him. I know he does want the best for me.

This man is who I want to be with. 

He works so hard for his patients, for his looks (he puts the effort in 100%), he tries so hard to be "everything." I love him for this part of his personality. I love him for his looks and I love him for his support and that he has never told me to stop opening up. He's never, EVER, told me to stop or be quiet or that I told him too much.

When on the phone with him, although rarely, the man he comes accross to me as is confident. His voice is soothing. He is so warm on the phone and so welcoming to chat with. Last night was better than any time we have spoken ever. It felt the most natural. And it ended...well...in a sensual way to put it well for internet reasons. He is good to me. He makes me feel the best I can possibly feel.  He makes me feel more mature and like the 34 yr old woman that I am. He's 45. I feel such a need for him in my life and I do hope that one day I will be able to say he is my real-life sweetheart and best friend. I love him.

We have been texting and talking, and only once met up (last memorial day weekend) and i visit him on occasion at work...for over 3 years.

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

Duaa123. on 12/23/2016:
U know .. I was unhappy with my coffee that I MADE at home bec it is not like coffee from outside until I put some cinnamon with coffee and it become so nice and now for me it is the best .. have a good day


innerpeace on 12/23/2016:
Glad I'm no coffee drinker.


innerpeace on 12/23/2016:
Oh wow, I both happy and sad for you. I hope he realizes that he is working his life away and one day he says...i need HOP in my life and I'm going to go get her! Have a great day.


puddles on 12/23/2016:
I kind of suspected that P was still in the picture in your life just my your messages. You are the only one that can judge what you want. The thing is you have to be ready to accept whatever the outcome of it all will be good or bad. Whatever happens you have to know that in the end you will be ok and you will be able to pick up the pieces if that is the case and move on or live happily ever after. I know what you are feeling because I have met in the past a man that I could never have and to this day I love him with all my heart and would drop everything if he came back into my life. I made the choice of moving on eventhough we still e-mail once or twice a year because we both still feel the same way, he has no outs and I have no choice in the matter. Great memories and precious. Enough said about that. Just follow your heart but be ready with a plan B and make sure that his will not make you fall apart. That is all my advise to you J. All the best dear.


biscottibody59 on 12/23/2016:
Hi HoP--had to chime in since you just can't seem to let go of this scumbag. He should have let you down a long time ago, but he gets something out of holding you at arm's length. He loves the game like a cat likes to play with a mouse and let it squirm. My OPINION: He knows exactly what he's doing and it feels good to him because he gets a dopamine hit out of it--no more no less.

He's being nice to you, but he'll NEVER EVER "come around" and be with you and newsflash--after all this time and when/if he does come around to be the man YOU think he is, you probably won't want him.

He is married--gay or straight or bi. Probably has children. Or he's simply committed to someone else. Or he just loves himself a lot. If he's not married he is a player of sorts--but he kinda sucks at it--haha! He more than likely is just straight, married with kids and a mortgage and gobs and gobs of debt (would explain the working a lot) and a great life--or a sucky life. Probably sucky!

The thing is, you don't really know. Neither do I:-) You could probably find out pretty easily.

If on the off-chance he's really single, then he really is pathetic or he knows from your demeanor or what you've said that you're not the kind of woman he'd spend the rest of his life with.

For the most part men (not EVERY single man of course) want a woman who is a caregiver, a nurturer, perhaps someone to have their children. Someone to take care of them like their mother did or DIDN'T take care of them.

If none of this is true--he's intimidated because you take care of yourself. You're very close to your dad and have maybe communicated how he helped you get your job and apartment, as you've mentioned.

You've been really going through a lot of changes lately and time is ticking--34 is a good time to do what makes you happy.

And if none of that is true, he's grooming you to do something very bad for you--loan/give him money or something. Please excuse my cynicism:-)

Having phone sex or casual sex or whatnot isn't that great--is it? Doesn't matter who it's with--you deserve better and you're a straightforward person who has time to find a solid mate for life if that's what you want.

We talk ourselves (in our head or to ourselves out loud) into accepting pretty shabby and sometimes abusive behavior from others. You have to evolve to get to where I am on this guy. It won't happen overnight.

I'm just giving you a little food for thought. Only because I've BTDT--just don't keep doing it for so long that you get as cynical as I am at age 57--haha!

Take good care of yourself!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/28/2016:
thank you always. if it weren't for you, i do not think i'd get out of my negative spell as quickly regarding the shin splints. Thank you always for recommending that book to me!

I wrote an entry more about why i am still thinking about Paul...if you are interested even if you do not support it, I appreciated your comments here.


Duaa123. on 12/23/2016:
Good total calories for u .. I am happy for u and for ur feeling but I read thd other comments quickly .. I cant give u my opinion but I know any one loves you will communicate with u everyday and will try to make u one of his plan in his future as partner.. I hope the best for u


grannyannie on 12/23/2016:
I have to agree with Biscotti. I was in a relationship like that, the less time he had for me, the more I wanted him. I wised up and dumped him and was happier for it. You deserve someone who has time for you.


grannyannie on 12/23/2016:
And, BTW, I didn't wise up until I was in my 40's. 2 bad marriages and bad relationships, and finally found a good man when I was 47. And still with him at nearly 65.


Donkey on 12/24/2016:
If Biscotti came out of retirement to comment... Just sayin'. I agree with her, although I confess that I missed a lot of the story due to my self-imposed hiatus, so perhaps I have no right to form an opinion.

I understand that you care deeply for this man, but something is not right. IDK, I just think, Why would you settle for this half-way relationship? :-( Don't sell yourself short. (((hugs)))



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Dec 22, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Home at 6:50-7am: VERY VERY strong apple cider vinegar (half cup at least) in seltzer and sweetened with stevia. NO CAL. followed by a banana bc it was soo strong, but worked how i wanted it to & very quickly bc i was running late. 120.

8:30am at work: Quest bar, microwaved, in Oatmeal flavor. 200 i think the package said. and coffee with equal and milk 50.

Snack:  bar of which accidentally got chopped off so it's not a full bar in the package = perfect bc we are having an early lunch provided by my office today :) 130-150 tops.

12pm Lunch: wonderful. had a somewhat large roll 250? also and some pasta 100? and veggies were really good 200 salad 50 and other stuff 50. and champagne 50. 700, tops and prob less. would love to steal some veggies for tomorrow / weekend.

1200 after a really, really nice lunch. should have taken more meat though. just a few bites of sausage, which was EXCELLENT.

before gym next door: granola bar only i think and caffeine 150.

1350 after gym

after gym cookie i think, 360. and a couple small plums and tastes of ice cream 100 more.

total today: 1820 i'll say. GREAT. bed prob early when i get home. so tired.

1860 6-day avg.

________________________________________

I am satisfied so far after a bar this morning at 10:30am.  It was mostly natural, nut based. Therefore, I will not be starving for the office party. good stuff. gym is tonight, next door to work bc lately i just care about saving time, not adding an additional 45 min overall in driving to my night bc that's the addition when i go to the other gym after work. 

Slept so much last night, over 8 hours and NO sleeping pill. Lately, i am able to sleep & sleep....I love it. :-) Especially on non-gym nights with less caffeine.

 

 

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/22/2016:
Great start to your day J. Have a great one.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/22/2016:
It was nice.

very nice :)

Just very emotional this holiday time...


grannyannie on 12/22/2016:
Sounds like a good day! Get a good sleep.

Horn_of_plenty on 12/23/2016:
Overall, I am so thankful & happy this holiday season :-D It's been an overall GREAT year. Slept decently :)


Duaa123. on 12/23/2016:
Yes .. sleeping is a nice thing especially during work days .. have a good day

Horn_of_plenty on 12/23/2016:
Yes Duaa, I've learned I have to sleep better during the week not only the weekend ;)



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Dec 21, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights)
Weight: 116.0

Early Morning @ Home: Apple Cider Vingar mixed into seltzer with stevia, this is working really great lately. (No Cal)

8:30am-8:45am at work: coffee with 2 equal and milk 50, wrap 60 with whiped pb 150 and some squash 30 with stevia, and some cooked cranberries also with stevia 60. And also banana 120 on way to work bc my stomach was rumbly not in good way so i wanted to try to calm things down if you know what i mean! All is fine now...Total here: 470. fine! and yes, i'm actually feeling satisfied for sure.

11am snack: natural vegan bar, not too high sugar. 9g i think it was. 190

prior to a healthy lunch i have planned oh yea...its good!

1pm Lunch: vendor lunch! surprise! shrimp a bit, around 200 tops, some of my own chips around 150 at least, some marinated mushrooms 50?, and some cooked peppers with beef but only took the peppers 100. total is around: 500-550, good!

total so far at work: 1200 excellent....and one white chocolate 50.

1250 :-)

overate dinner 850 at least.

total today: 2100. fine. 5-day avg: 1865

 

 

_________________________________________

Yesterday morning while I was still settling down and all at work, I found out the coolest fact!  The current President of my company (it's a "multi, multi" like $500M in revenue in a year multi-million dollar company), well, he's a lawyer by trade, and when my past president was outed from his own company, our lawyer was chosen to be our new President. But that's not the cool fact at all.  He's def a busy guy with high responsibility and pressure....and in some of his spare time, he's a...wait for it....VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTER!

I give him the utmost respect. I think that's the coolest. I give him super respect for having both a high stress job and a really possibily very high stress volunteer hobby. What a man :-D What a guy! What a trooper. I give him the most respect. So awesome.

__________________________________________________

 

Progress as of today: 1 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!


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