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Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Dec 12, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

1250 cal today / 1700 yesterday.

Average for sat / sun: 1475 / day

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On Friday morning at work, I was offered last minute free seats in the company suite at Madison Square Garden, NYC to see the famous comedian Jim Galligan. I was able to ask for as many tickets as I wanted & invite anyone else in the company. I invited my female good friend and coworker as well as my best friend who doesn't work there.

It was last night & a really cool opportunity to go to the Garden and see a comedy show live from not even average general public seats - but a private suite with it's own bathroom. there was no free food or drinks like we thought because very few people showed up from my company. Only me, my coworker, my best friend who doesn't work at the company, and two other couples. There are around 30 seats, but only 7 of us ended up attending. It was a good event. I liked the comedian. I am very thankful for this once in a lifetime type of opportunity.  Most of my coworkers didn't know about it - it was on the down low that I got this opportunity.

 The whole night was free at the Garden. We did have to buy our drinks as there was no complimentary food or drinks (sometimes they do provide, but since there were so few of us, I guess that was not an option last night which obviously doesn't matter - the cool thing is that we had the awesome opportunity to go to this event for free with cool seats!).

I did do something stupid though...which really is messed up. I am always doing dumb things without thinking them thru. Not always, but always at times when it's better I thought about it....

This is a diary. That others do read. But i'm going to admit something both embarrassing & humiliating and it's something I regret doing tonight. The suite I was sitting in we thought would have food / alcohol but it didn't because only 7 people showed up (me and my two friends being almost half the folks). So there was no food / alcohol provided. However, there was wine in the next suite right next door.

Like a teenager who thinks there are no rules, I walked into the suite next door and started to pour myself and my two friends wine. Someone in there walked out & told a worker who then came over to me and said "you won't be getting anywhere with that."

I am such an idiot for:

#1 - attempting to take / steal wine

#2 - not being thankful enough for the opportunity to enjoy the event free & feel the need to take wine that wasn't mine

#3 - Possibly (and hopefully not) having any word of my actions get back to the owner of my company. This is the worst part.  If it gets back to him, he will look so bad as to have ever invited his workers at his company to use his suite and put him to shame for hiring such a crappy person to steal wine from the suite next door when I could have gone and bought anything I wanted downstairs

#4 - having done this, my boss (owner of company) possibly getting word, my FATHER also possibly getting word of it because my owner of company knows my father. Making it so that my owner of my company does not want to keep me at the company anymore...and ruining relationships between my father and the owner of my company.

#5 - I am such an idiot for not thinking about this before I decided to be an as$hole and take things that weren't mine. I'm 33. I should know better.  Stealing isn't ok at any age, but it's really despicable I ever thought to do it in the first place.

#6 - I never ended up taking a thing. As I was caught redhanded. Nothing else happened. I just went back to where I was supposed to be. But boy is my behavior inexcusable. I am not sure why I didn't consider consequences of my actions. I'm such an idiot.

#7 - and in general, even if no consequences, it's not ok to take things that aren't mine. I did end up buying alcohol and some diet coke downstairs. And should have done it the entire time. It's not like i'm so poor I couldn't afford to in the first place. Stupid girl I was tonight.

 I just hope that I don't need to learn a lesson thru the owner of my company getting word of my actions....it would not be good. I really hope he doesn't hear of it. Do you think he will? He owns those seats for the whole year, every year. And the other suites next to it have the same owners all year. So you think my company owner will hear what I did in the suite next door - pouring wine and attempting to take it out, but never actually making it out?

I am so stupid. I just hope nobody hears about it.

And if so, I'm going to say my friend came and walked into the wrong suite next door instead of my company's. It's the friend that doesn't work for the company. She told me to say that. Was going to pour wine for us 3. Horrible.

Sunday: Goal calorie count for today is 1450.

9:45am-11am Breakfast: banana 120, fiber one with almond milk 180. kombucha 40 and another probiotic drink 10. 350.

1:30pm: dunkin donuts veggie egg white flatbread with cheese 300 & coffee 50. 350.

700 :-D

Snack after gym: small amount frozen yogurt 150

850

light dinner, mostly beans & veggies 350

1200...

Most of my Sunday Plans  today:

1. gym - and yes have some coffee first.

2. get nails done after gym (but no polish)...just filing and buffing. That way, it lasts at least 2 weeks and they stay looking neater than when I do them myself because when I file & cut my own nails, they always turn out horrible! haha.

3. Small food shopping after gym - buy some chicken or fish maybe turkey & some veggies. OR Cook my own veggies & just pick up meat / fish. Yeah,  maybe.

4. Maybe call dad later to quickly tell him I went out and got the seats at that event thanks to the owner of my company (dad knows him). But of course I can't tell him about the stupid thing I did - he'll FLIP. So keeping that to myself. I do plan to thank the owner of my company when I see him...

5. Tonight - call my best friend who is going thru something almost worse than I went thru with anxiety. She's been suffering and hasn't gotten help for 6 months. She does go to work & all - but she's not in a good state of mind. I realize I need to help her find a therapy place by her because she's having a difficult time choosing a place because too many options - she does better without options. So i'm going to help her out tonight over the phone.

 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

2am Saturday Night (already Sunday morning i guess!) Edit:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

11am-11:45am: Breakfast - tons of chips: 370 cal, kombucha 30, tons of "Persian salad" and "Israeli Salad" - maybe like 200 cals?, and some leftover fatty pastrami from last week (but not too much) 100? - total: 700

ugh. more calories than I thought before calculating the chips. needed the carbs & fat.

2pm:  kombucha 70

3:15pm lunch: Pancake (extra fat): cup egg whites 130, medium banana 120, 1/4 large avocado 100, sf strawberry jelly 30, peanut butter 100, stevia, cinnamon. total: 480

total so far: 1250, good.

7pm Snack on way out to city: beef jerky 100

8:30pm: tequila, diet coke, water 200 at most?

11:00pm: another kind of natural bar 150

total: 1700, very good.

I may just eat my own stuff tonight when going to the comedy show. And will probably not drink. we'll see.

Took a sleeping pill around 6:00 am or some time around there this morning because I needed more sleep & didn't want to be up so early. I may even take another nap later. Honestly, I don't need to go out Friday & Saturday night but since tonight is a once in a lifetime type of opportunity - I'm going.  At work, I was offered tickets to the Madison Square Garden show tonight - it's the comedian Jim Galligan - and I now have free seats in a suite there at the garden. How could I turn it down? I was able to invite my best friend who's coming & also two other coworkers. I think there's around 20 seats in the suite - so there will be more coworkers there as well. There's also food there in the suite, so we are not going for dinner first. The show starts at 8pm. Also, there's an open bar. All free. The whole night tonight is not only awesome, but free.

Tonight i'm driving into the city with coworker - she's driving, actually. She'll pick me up at 6pm & meeting other two friends there at 7pm.

Right now, I'm realizing I still DO have the bulk of the weekend to myself. And bulk of today. So i'm trying to relax. Need to stretch my legs (literally) and do laundry. That's it today, really. That only leaves food shopping & maybe getting nails done for this weekend. Good deal.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/12/2015:
Salads sound interesting. Get some good sleep.


OhioRaven on 12/13/2015:
Yup ! Having raised a few, you sound like a nice "Normal" young girl who follows her instincts and regrets her actions. Try not to worry too much about it and remember what you've learned. Our most valuable lessons are the hardest ones. Have a Good, healthy day, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/13/2015:
I just hope that I don't need to learn a lesson thru the owner of my company getting word of my actions....it would not be good. I really hope he doesn't hear of it. Do you think he will? He owns those seats for the whole year, every year. And the other suites next to it have the same owners all year. So you think my company owner will hear what I did in the suite next door - pouring wine and attempting to take it out, but never actually making it out?

I am so stupid. I just hope nobody hears about it.

And if so, I'm going to say my friend came and walked into the wrong suite next door instead of my company's. It's the friend that doesn't work for the company. She told me to say that. Was going to pour wine for us 3. Horrible.


grannyannie on 12/14/2015:
Everybody does something without thinking and then regets it. I've certainly done more than my share! Don't stress too much about it.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Dec 11, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

Not more than 2,000 calories today. No exercise but lots of fun tonight. Great change of pace :) 1920 7-day average - will make this coming week better!

This weekend is going to be more exciting than originally planned. got free tickets for tomorrow night, talk about it later on / tomorrow.

calories before end of day: 750 before leaving work...doing GREAT.  It's a challenge, but i'm really going to lower these calories & get to my goal weight of 115 little by little, week by week. I've got this. I now learned the lesson. To get what you want / where you want, you need to act & change your ways if you want something badly enough or it's not yours to attain. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS to get what you want. YOU CANNOT GLIDE THRU the way you always did. It won't work. It's hard, but it can b done. Changes can be made.

 _____________________________________________________

 

Yesterday I witnessed for the hundredth time hate and racism at work. My boss is racist. Not to me. Not about me. But it's sad. I could never hate a group unless they were terrorists or something....but I don't hate groups or complete races or religions. It makes me sick just to hear it. Happy Friday.

Didn't get a lot of sleep it was very interrupted but that's ok - Saturday and Sunday I will sleep in as much as I want to. It will be a low key weekend Bc need weekend is busy in city again :) visiting friends for holidays.

Tonight I'll be going to a bar for a friends 35th bday. I couldn't miss his bday again - I did last year because I wasn't feeling good (it was a Friday night also last year). He's single and likes the bar lol.  I'm saying he's single bc when you are single you are more free to still go out to bars and not live that "family man" lifestyle.  I don't have any feelings for this guy - just good friends.

The bar is sorta far from work and with rush hour could be around 1hr away. I am bringing my friend from work and it will be nice to drive there with her instead of alone.  Then I will drop my coworker off tonight after at her home & she lives around 25 min from me.  So it's going to be a busy night after work. But like I said its ok, I'll sleep in Saturday / Sunday and have a good diet on the weekend!!

I have an option to go to more free library events this weekend - good ones - including a Kwanzaa Celebration with short film, performances, dancers / singers as well as another musical group at another library. yes...all of these are free and I sorta want to go. I'm also getting a facial. Tell you the truth, I have no plans with friends this weekend other than tonight because I need it to be a laid back weekend so I can decompress from this week on my own terms. I don't feel bad about it - everyone's different. And I know next weekend is busier. Also, I'm free now from going out to eat and having to deal with restaurant menus. I want this weekend to help me in my calorie deficit goals.

Hey...when you want something...you have to make it more of a priority. I know this. and I'll achieve my goals by making the choices and decisions that will get me closer to where I want to be. that's all.

Even New Years Eve, I'll probably just relax at home after work. I have to work that day...and don't feel like going out after and being out late. I can make up for it another night. I don't need to run myself down just to drink on new years!

to me, it's called being an adult and making the choices I need to in order to reach my goals. I'll be more relaxed after sister's wedding in April. Right now, it is what it is.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/11/2015:
I have zero tolerance for racism and hate speech. Must be maddening for you! Have a good weekend.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/11/2015:
It is and for once in my life I totally disregarded my bosses wishes & did what I wanted. in the end, I didn't get blamed or in trouble. it's already been brushed over. he knows I didn't do any wrong. and he knows, I hope, in the back of his head I really do hope he knows he's wrong....



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Dec 10, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

Calories more than I wanted. 1600 before gym. Ugh. Not happy with this weeks calories and tomorrow bar after work.

around 1820.

1910-6-day average.

 

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/10/2015:
Hang in there, you'll make up for it.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Wednesday Dec 09, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

1930 5-day calorie average. bit high but not terrible. I can put a dent in that average by having a low calorie day on Thursday :-) Friday prob not bc i'm going to the bar after work...

Like Ohio commented on my previous entry, I'm feeling determined for sure.  I really want to change some things. My weight and strength. I want to actually KNOW & SEE that I am able if I am persistent about it. And i'm ready. I'm finally ready! It feels good. To work on it...keep at it...and realize that I can do this!

It may not be easy, but that's the good part, actually. Knowing I can do this, despite any obstacle along the way.

These next 4 months (December thru beginning April) are cold, harsh winter months & I'm so ready to make the change.

I'm so proud of myself to make the change. This includes the hardest thing - lowering my calories so I can lose the weight. Just around 5-10lbs max.

Total cal so far: 1060, all healthy thru end of workday...

big dinner: chicken 200, 4.5  servings chips yum... 550, veggies 150, and then more veggies in sauce 150. 1050.

total: around 2150. I'm learning it just can't always be the lower calories. I must say, i'm fully satisfied and will probably get some extra sleep tonight...and then i'll be able to end the week well.

No exercise.

I have a lot going on bc Friday i'm going to happy hour after work on Long Island. It's a bit much but luckily my friend from work is going with me so it'll be nice to do the drive with her!

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 12/09/2015:
Sounds like a good plan.


puddles on 12/09/2015:
Sounds like a fun Friday outing. Enjoy


grannyannie on 12/10/2015:
Good luck. You go girl!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Tuesday Dec 08, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

1660. perfect hardcore workout...

My December goals are happening :)

1875 4-day average

I'm really set on reaching my goals by April which include weighing 115 and being even more toned.

After my sister gets married on 4/2, I'm taking a day and celebrating with cake, pizza, and fries. OR, at least one really heavy meal :-D

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 12/08/2015:
Good job on getting closer to goals. :)


puddles on 12/08/2015:
Have a great evening.


OhioRaven on 12/09/2015:
You sound determined to me. Have a Good day, Horn.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Monday Dec 07, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

I did plan for low cal Monday especially, but sometimes you need to follow what your body wants....

3-day average calories:  1950/day (little high for weightloss, good for maintenance).

My goal this month, more than anything, is to maintain 119-120 (i'd like to lose weight, but i'm also set on maintaining & moving forward with exercise).

The BIGGER GOAL: not to miss workouts (3x per week).

Just a bit tired. planning on falling asleep early...even though I asked my "PT guy" to call me. YES...we are still texting...yes, despite knowing better..haha.

Dinner was bigger than planned, kinda being gentle to myself right now. crackers: 300. veggies & tofu 250. Total here: 550. and smoked salmon jerky. 120.

around 2150.

took some bites of my breakfast for tomorrow - blended in my blender and then cooked like an omelette - cup of egg whites, half an avocado, stevia, and cinnamon / nutmeg. I actually ate a little of it, then split it in half to use for 2 breakfasts (probably Tuesday / Wednesday) and then i'll add a lot of cooked cranberries on top in morning. Now I have lots of cranberries. You'll probably see them on my menu quite frequently...I will also start using canned pumpkin again soon.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 12/08/2015:
Where the help are you getting all these Cranberries?



Horn_Of_Plenty - Sunday Dec 06, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

This week's calorie plan: low calories obviously, but especially trying for low cal on Monday, Tues, Wed, Thurs.

Friday I have a party at a bar to attend after work, I'll not be worrying too much about calories on Friday other than to keep them moderate and not binge! :-D

7:30 Lighter low volume breakfast: kombucha and bar 240

9:30am snack kelp chips ! 100, some cooked veggies 80?, yogurt 120 540...and leftover drink with coconut milk and tumeric 40. 580. Gym later this afternoon..also my laundry and maybe some cooking.

12pm: grilled veggies 100, other veggies in sauce with some nuts 200?, Greek yogurt with cooked cranberries and fiber one 300. 600.

Before gym: some of an energy drink & natural fruit & nut bar 150

5:30 early dinner: jerk chicken 300, sautéed spinach 100, Israeli salad 50...Quest S'mores bar for dessert 200. 650, good.

Total Calories around 2,000 today. Good.

Exercise was full weights routine, back, abs. And around a 15 min walk.

It's 5:45pm, just finished dinner...debating doing it tomorrow night & being lazy tonight.

did my laundry thankfully. got it done a lil before 7:30pm or 8pm.  Always best to get it done before the week starts :-)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Was gonna go home for dinner with parents but instead I am staying in queens and having a restful afternoon and evening. I am simply not in a mood to run around today. It's a busy week ahead including a birthday party at 6pm on Friday night coming up after work. So, till then, I have enough to do and need some downtime today.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/06/2015:
Have a great day.


grannyannie on 12/07/2015:
Good plans! Have a great week.


OhioRaven on 12/07/2015:
I still couldn't find Cranberries at my usual grocery yesterday.



Horn_Of_Plenty - Saturday Dec 05, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

I need to talk about last night. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Went to bed around 8:30pm Friday night and then woke to use bathroom a couple times during the night. But other than that, I slept till around 7am this morning and I still feel exhausted. It could be the big meal and binging that did me in last night? Not sure. I have a feeling this month is gonna feel a lot like this but I will try to see what I can do to stop these horrible feelings I have been having. Just too exhausted on Friday at work yesterday...

8:30am Breakfast: bar 190, kombucha, 60...250

Morning Snack: coffee 50

Light snack at 1pm: natural nut and dried fruit bar 150

total morning cals: 450 I think? I feel I might be forgetting something, but prob not...

2:30 light meal: sautéed spinach, 2 big cups worth: 300?

3:30 snack: greek yogurt 150 with cooked cranberries 50, stevia, and fiber one 60: 250 or so

6:00 big dinner: Ben's Jewish Deli with best friend: 3 pickles 30, Israeli salad 50?, soup 150, lots of hot pastrami 300? on one piece bread around 100...I think this is it...around 650, decent!

total today: around 1650-1700 - EXCELLENT.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

biscottibody59 on 12/05/2015:
Too much caffeine? It might be that you need to keep the caffeine to what you drink before noon and then see how you do. I'm sensitive to the little caffeine in chocolate, but it's fairly minor if I don't overeat it.

Hard to let go of caffeine--took me forever to get to the place I'm at with it, but it kept being the stumbling block I just knew was tripping me up. Still was hard!

Wishing you some R&R this weekend!


thinkpositive on 12/06/2015:
I hope you can get some good rest and relaxation. What usually helps you when you feel this way?



Horn_Of_Plenty - Friday Dec 04, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

1050 & then some chips in afternoon at work. so, 1200 before dinner.

Balanced dinner (with extra fat because I think I've been slacking) 1/2 avocado 160, shirataki noodles 0, tofu 50, tons of veggies in basil sauce 250, big orange 100. 560...but I am wanting something more tonight & may have it....ah, I forgot to add the rice, just a little bit. 100. 660

No Exercise.

and a strawberry blow pop 60 . and chocolate peanut quest bar for dessert 170 - 230

and a natural fruit / nut bar 240 Larabar Chocolate Coconut Chew

2350 or so.

1822 7-day calorie average. Not too bad, pretty good overall. T

oday was a nice day off from the lower calories. I enjoyed the splurge tonight.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 12/04/2015:
Shiritaki, Heck Yeah !


grannyannie on 12/05/2015:
Good menu!



Horn_Of_Plenty - Thursday Dec 03, 2015
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 119.0

My weight is back around 119-120 in the morning.

6-day calorie average: 1735 per day.

Calories before leaving work today: 1050. pretty healthy. 2 cups regular coffee in morning & one cup decaf. tired week. but a fast week.

.

I will have a grapefruit (100) and a fiber one oats & chocolate bar (160) and caffeine drink (0) before gym. total cal: around 260.

my boss has been gone since 3:30 today so i'm def off at 4:30pm

after gym: grapes and a Cookies&Cream Quest bar. up to 250 at most.

total cal today: around 1550.

major success.

I must admit I have been having energy drinks (usually not a full one, sugar free type) before the gym when I go during the week. But I also must say, my workouts have been INCREDIBLE. I can last longer & go harder. Much longer & harder. So it makes me want to continue with this type of routine.

Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!

puddles on 12/04/2015:
When something feels good it is probably because you are on the right track keep it up.



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