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InnerPeace - Tuesday Jun 14, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Dinner grilled chicken and kale, quinoa salad.

DH went with me to walk the dog. We sat half way through - my back, his knee but we finally made it home.

late night. I tried to stay up to finish the game but fell out in the 3rd quarter - go CAVS

B: french toast bagel with cream cheese

SL: peanut protein bar, 1/2 chicken sandwich, cheetos, motts gummy fruit

I left work to go pick up my in-home sleep monitor. I am supposed to wear it tonight for six hours. DH agreed to sleep down stairs and see if I can get an entire night's sleep. This was downtown CLE and I took the wrong interstate to get back to work....OMG feel so stupid.

should pick up the girl and do the lice treatment again.

DH took steak out for dinner.

Have a great evening!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

supercheeseSara on 06/14/2016:
Have a great evening!

happy-1 on 06/14/2016:
your dinners sound delicious!

InnerPeace - Monday Jun 13, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Oh the weekend! We started all the fun with grilled chicken and a cauliflower casserole. Very good. DH and I had a squabble because he didn't wash the chicken. It was disgusting, it had blood and fat all over it. I asked him to cut the fat off, he says, no, it burns off on the grill. I said well cut the dark spot off, he says, it is just blood. I say, well I don't want to eat that. He gets snarky and says...you've been eating it for three years. What the hell! That is just gross! I asked how many times am I in here while you are doing that, he says...never! OK then, when I'm in here, please cut that yucky crap off! I may never eat chicken again.

After dinner, I got the joyous pleasure of doing a lice treatment. I really hate it. I took pictures of the towel with all the critters on it and had DH text it to his exwife- with the caption...this is obviously something you don't DO...(in response to all her nasty texting a few days back, with all her you never do nothing, but show boat!) Oh, sure and we do lice treatments. Watched the Cavs lose and then got to bed about 11:45.

Slept Ok until about 1:30, then went downstairs with the spoiled dog and fell asleep in the recliner. DH was up and left about 5:30 and I went back to bed and slept till about 8:30. The girl got up around 9:30 and we left about 11:00 to run errands and stop at a few garage sales. While picking up DH's perscriptions I saw some croissants and decided to buy some to make chicken salad from the left over chicken. It was a pretty good lunch.

We left the house about 5:30 stopped for a light dinner and went to the musical. It was very funny. I enjoyed it alot. When we got home we were so wired we had to sit for a few hours just to get wound down enough to lie in bed. It was about 12:45. Back up again at 7:30, this time woke up on my own, no alarms. Sunday is the normal house cleaning, laundry kind of day. B: blue berry bagel with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte, L: I decided to try my hand at making spring rolls. very delish!

Rice paper, lettuce, carrots, cucumber, mung bean noodles, mint and shrimp with peanut sauce...very good! Rice paper very hard to work with and tears/rips easily. but they were still good.

DH didn't take anything out of the freezer to thaw and he fed the girl McDonald's before she went back home. DH text the POS telling her I worked on the girl's hair, maybe she could too? - what a concept! But whatever, I told the girl I would do her hair again on Tuesday when she is over. We see her Tuesday and Thursday (if this doesn't change) and we pick her up Sunday at 1:00 for Father's Day and keep her the entire week - OMG this should be fun. She has camp, but picking her up and dropping her off each day will be an experience.

I have this one pair of jean shorts, I would love to wear again! It won't be this year, but maybe next year!

Have a great day! IP

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 06/14/2016:

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/14/2016:
Is it me or are you cooking healthier & healthier!?

talk more later...

InnerPeace - Friday Jun 10, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Last night total binge fest!

Pizza, bread bites

Was up with the *stupid* dog at 1:00 and fell asleep in the recliner waiting on him to come back in - I woke up at 3:10 and went back upstairs - this dog of mine is why I don't sleep well. DH ask if I would consider putting him back in his kennel...uh, NO not when I am home. I can't describe how very tired I am right now. I have nodded off several times reading training presentations - and am just glad no one comes around the corner.

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

L: left over pizza

S: mott gummy fruit

Plans tonight, the grilled chicken DH was supposed to cook last night and loaded cauliflower and brocolli.

Treatment on the girls hair tonight.

Tomorrow - errands, we are going out to eat before The Wedding Singer play...can't wait.

Have a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/10/2016:
You are watching The Wedding Singer at home right...i believe it's been out? nice...enjoy going out to eat too.

ugh...lice treatment again?

i know the feeling all too well of being crazy tired at work. Thank gosh I took Thursday off - best decision ever! It made going in today quite easy - although of course i felt crazy tired in the morning anyways. !

innerpeace on 06/13/2016:
No it was The Wedding Singer - a musical! It was actually very well done. Very funny!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2016:
Not that it's any excuse...lol...but i had a binge fest yesterday. still coming off it today :-).

InnerPeace - Thursday Jun 09, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Picked up DH and went to get the girl. She seemed to be in a p!ssy mood. DH asked her what was wrong, she said she was tired. We had a zentangle class we were supposed to go to but because of the time didn't. The girl wanted to take a shower because...well because she can't at her house for unknown reasons. We ate at Steak and Shake - hamburger and fries good ole American standy by. I did have a peanut butter cup shake, which was good, but I felt bad after.

The girl was sitting across from me and I noticed a bug crawl across her hair, as I started looking closer, she is infested with lice again! I am livid! I cannot believe this crap.

DH asked her if she told her mom, she said yes, all she did was look at it and tell me she can't see anything. OMG this POS is blind, if I see the bugs walking across her head from five feet away, you...you are just a lazy, bleepity bleep!! I told her I would do here hair on Friday and again on Sunday before she goes back to her hellish home. DH then asked her if she wanted to live with us, she said yes. DH told her she would have to tell her mom, she said she wouldn't be cause she is afraid her mom will get mad and scream at her, so there you have it. This girl is propably bullied by this POS and there is nothing we can do about it.

We get back home, she showers and then goes with DH to walk the dog and then somehow they come and pick her up and she is gone!

I told DH I wanted to go and get her a care bag with her own stuff in it (razor, pads, etc.) that she will need. Tomorrow when I am doing her hair and she can't leave or get away, I will tell her about the birds and the bees. She is just so embarrassed I told her it happens to everyone and she needs to know this stuff, she might find it useful information...besides I don't feel like raising another kid anytime soon.

Other crap going on with DH's exwife that is dragging me down! Haven't been sleeping well and then the dog gets me up at 1:30 and I am up until 3:00 before I go back to bed and then up again at 5:00. No good sleeping time.

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese

S: grabbed not one but two krispy kreme donuts some a$$hat left on the breakroom counter - no restraint this a.m.

L: 1/2 turkey swiss sandwich, banana, fritos

S: protein bar, 1 string cheese

D: have no clue - DH took out chicken but now he wants to go out and shop and eat

I am tired of adulting! I quit!

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

InnerPeace - Wednesday Jun 08, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Well I was in a good mood!

Got home and threw some potatoes in the oven and DH got home and cooked some pork on the grill. Throw in the caulflower and that is dinner.

DH asked me about my day and I told him I was talking to my friend in Oklahoma and telling her the dates we are going to be there. She was like OMG I can't believe you are driving 16 hours to stay two whole days, well what can I say I miss my mom. Anyway DH asked if I wanted him to text POS (his ex) and ask if she would be willing to let us have the girl for an extra weekend. AND then the sh!t hit the fan! OMG she is such a POS, they argued all night long, it was just awful. DH was upset, I don't think we actually got to sleep until well after 1:00 am.

We woke up and and was eating breakfast and that heifer was still texting and threatening and she just won't stop. She even goes on to say that we are show boating! What the h$ll ever.

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese, iced vanilla latte

S: almond sweet salty protein bar

L: 1/2 turkey and swiss sandwhich, cheetos bag (160 calories) gummy bears snack pack (80 calories) and a beat up and bruised banana I will probably not eat.

D: we will probably go out, because we didn't take anything out to thaw - no idea

I was sitting here at work and decided to write a letter to the POS and just wish I had the nerve to send it, however, it did make me feel better after I wrote it.

Wow, I must admit that you have surprised me to no end and this time I just can't let things go. I try to be nice and go with the way things are but you...you are a peice of work.

First off we bend over backwards when it comes to time with Kayla. For instance in the past year we have asked you several times to do additional things with Kayla: the dinosaur exhibit and scavenger hunt come to mind and both times, you were busy and had plans. Which is ok, since this was your scheduled time, however, when we pick Kayla up for our next visit and ask what your plans were she always replies...nothing, we did nothing! So on the occasions that we did need a few extra hours, on our nights, because we were actually doing something fun, exciting, educational or as you pit it...show boating. We kept her out longer to earn a hiking stick pin, to enjoy the Shrek the musical play in Akron, to experience a once in a life time Taylor Swift concert and to see Matilda at playhouse square and for the glow in the dark Easter Egg hunt, that didn't work oout in our favor due eo the weather. Thanks for this extra time, and I'm more than sure, Kayla appreciated it too.

Now for the times we are so unbending - we let Kayla go to a birthday party at ChuckECheese, a babyshower, another birthday party and sadly we let her spend an afternoon at a funeral home all of these events were on our time, but we let her be with you. And this last instance over Memorial Day Holiday - we only picked her upon on Thursday instead of the Tuesday that was rightly scheduled as ours - but no, you wanted to spend time with her and again, when we picked her up on Thursday, she says you did nothing!

She is with you 80% of the time and what little time she is with us, you still act like we are taking something from YOU! This is not about you, this has nothing to do with YOU!

I had mentioned before that it was my intent to expose Kayla to everything possible in Lorain county that she could experience and do and see to find her passion, to find an interest so she won't be confined to a ten mile radius in the great state of Ohio for the rest of her life. I am so sorry that you can't see this and that we are just showing off. You are so out of touch with reality I really feel sorry for you as a parent.

And this brings me to seriously, I want to thank you for the hours I've spent combing lice out of your daughter's hair, that she says you do nothing for. And thank you for limiting her showers to every other night. And most of all thank you for being a great mother to try and help bridge the gap between Joe and his dad, instead of driving a wedge deeper and deeper into it! Way to go with the letting him drop out of high school and not earn a high school diploma, I'm sure he has a great future ahead of him, you...you win Mom of the Year!

Before you get all pissy, just know that I went through a divorce with a son  of my own and I was never vindictive or selfish and always, always put the needs of my son first! And I will always, always put the needs of Kayla first and foremost regardless of how you describe all the show boating and everything else you say to beat down her dad, who is doing the best he can while also dealing with a shrew like you.

Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, this is how I see it. You are a selfish, vindictive person and I hope you get everything that is coming to you, as I've heard karma is a biotch! Have a nice day!

I told DH if only I had a little bit more of my mom or sister I would have already hit the send button! But I am just so fed up with the drama I don't think I can handle it everyday allday like some other people.

This...this is my life and OMG I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

Enjoy this day that we have the luckiest chance to make the most of!



Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/08/2016:
Hugs. Sounds like constant heartbreak. You are probably the best role model Kayla has. Super important.

InnerPeace - Tuesday Jun 07, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Having serious issues with myself. I picked up an old journal that I had written and was beating myself up in. I weighed 177, OMG I would give anything to weigh that much again. Anyway reading them, got me sad and disgusted with myself. I have been trying to lose weight my whole life and instead of loosing all I do is gain. It is just so unbelievably defeating! Heck I've been a member here since 2001 and have gained 80 pounds since then.

This is a struggle, the hardest thing I've ever tried to do in my life. So here's to all you who succeed everyday!

I layed in bed until 6:40 before I finally decided to actually get up and take a shower. DH drove himself today, so I was in no hurry to get up and about. I left the house at 7:20 and for the first time in eight months, my boss beat me to work today...we walked in at the same time at about 7:50.

DH walked the dog and was gone forever, or longer than I thought it should take. I was worried he was having knee issues so I took off to find him. I got half way around the block and he was in the neighbor's garage just chit chatting away. I'm like do you just walk into every open garage you see. These are new neighbors who just recently moved up to Ohio from Florida...well OK, hello and welcome. I told him I was worried he was sitting on the curb somewhere and was gald he was OK.

Dinner last night was grilled chicken and salad - the salad is a bagged salad Oriental in type with a sweet ginger soy light dressing with cabbage, carrots, and other stuff I'm not sure what it is - but it was good.

B: two grands biscutis with maple butter, iced vanilla latte

S: almond protein bar

L: 1/2 turkey swiss sandwich, with pickles, cheetos

S: string cheese

I don't know what is for dinner tonight I didn't look -

No real plans for tonight - there is a hike, but doubt we will go for reasons!

Have a great night.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/07/2016:
Hugs. I know how you feel. When I weighed 225, I was dieting to get back to 190 and ballooned up to 308... Trying to control it the whole way... It was awful. The only thing that has helped is staying out of restaurants as much as possible. I started last march when I was laid off and couldn't go out to eat. I'm 60lbs down now.

MyGiftedLife on 06/07/2016:
Omg, IP, I feel for you and I so understand. I'm having struggles too.. It's so puzzling to me that I'm successful is so many other areas of my life, but just can't successfully lose weight and/or stop the binge eating sessions.. I know sleep helps me.. I'm going to try to get more sleep tonight.. Sounds like you ate well today though.. Hang in there because you're totally not alone.. You've got lots of friends you're struggling with.. Let's all give ourselves a big virtual hug!!! Have a good night!!

InnerPeace - Monday Jun 06, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Friday, get DH and head home. Neither one of us wanted to cook so we go to the local diner. I had an open face meatloaf sanwich with mashed potatoes. Once we get home, I start falling asleep in the recliner and just go to bed, it was about 8:00. BIG mistake. I was up again about 10:00 with my dog and we stayed up until 2:00. DH slept the entire time and was up at 6:00 to go to work. I didn't get up until 8:20 - but it was good sleep.

B: lucky charms

DH gets home about 3:00, I asked if he wanted to do anything and he said, I'm doing it...which was relaxing in his recliner.

L - D - Chinese take out - beef and brocolli, fried wonton

Sunday not too much of anything. Normal Sunday, cleaning and laundry. DH did go shopping alone and he saved money.

B: - awful breakfast - DH brought home donuts - I may just have to cut him loose! He is such an enabler.

L: left over beef & brocolli

S: cheese cubes

D: steak, salad, mushrooms

Another MONDAY! I woke up feeling blah, I layed in bed for over almost 30 minutes before deciding to get up. I feel just awful - not that I have to go to work and it's Monday, it just seems that I struggle doing anything and getting motivated.

Today I feel uncomfortable in my clothes - everything is too tight and I changed clothes two times before finally settling on something - wearing a embroidered cotten tee and a pair of OD green capri pants, probably too casual for the office - but if you can't wear your clothes.!!!! OMG Back hurts, hip hurts, feet hurt - yes this is due to my weight!

I WILL though!

B: blue berry bagle, iced vanilla latte

S: sweet & salty protein bar

L: turkey swiss sandwich with pickle, banana, bag of cheetos

S: string cheese

D: some kind of chicken TBD

Have a great evening IP


Lots going on this week - I had to reschedule my women's health it was Thursday but my boss is not going to be at work and I have to sit on a teleconference for need to know information. My new date is July 6. I also have a date to pick up the at home sleep test with is June 14th.


Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/06/2016:
I think a lot of people struggle in the morning. Don't feel like you are the only one. Best is I guess to have something in the day to look forward to doing later after work. For me today, even though i am pooped, i'm happy to say I can & will go to the gym. I hope to sleep better tonight....that should help too :) Getting good sleep is so important and people do not realize it!

at my office, we can wear whatever we like. I wear jeans practically everyday. it's like High School all over again - absolutely no change in dress for me. Good thing about it - cheap & no need to buy expensive work clothing. I do sometimes wear a fancier top though & cardigan. Just on the bottoms - it's usually jeans, black jeans or leggings.

your banana / pickle combo is quite neat.!

happy-1 on 06/07/2016:
Struggling doing anything + feeling awful + falling asleep in the chair after meatloaf and mashed potatoes sounds like high blood sugar.

InnerPeace - Friday Jun 03, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Picked up DH and picked up the girl! We get home and the girl heads up to take a shower, this is weird to me. I made a salad with cucumber, tomato and alvocado. I tossed walnuts in it and mixed with honey lime dressing. DH grilled the chicken and we ate.

While eating dinner i asked if they wanted to go to the park with the fitness trail, they said they did, but the girl pipes up and says, maybe you should have said that before I took a shower. I replied well you jumped in so fast I didn't have time to think about it, little heifer!

So DH says, we can go because school is out and the ex isn't picking the girl up until 8:30. I say, WOW, wish I would have known. OMG this again. How can this man, just make decisions without telling me or asking me. What if I had plans for something? He is so selfish sometimes. I just feel like I do NOT matter and it pisses me off! I told him too, as I left him in the recliner asleep! Whatever, if I don't matter, you don't matter!

A$$hat! He comes up stairs. Why didn't you wake me up? Oh, why should I? You don't matter to me, so you stay downstairs in the recliner, because apparently I don't matter to you or else you would at least let me know..hey, school is out do you mind if the girl stays longer than 8:00? What a freakin' concept. I live there too, dangit! I should have a say so! I know this is petty to everyone else, but I just feel so disrespected!

There are no definite plans for the weekend. I could do lots, but whether or not I get around to it is a different story.

I did go to the sleep study group and listened to the NP talk about different sleep issues, I don't think that I am that bad, but will wait for a call back for the appointment. Hopefully I can do the at home test. I know I would sleep better if I didn't have a pet!

B: toats with maple butter, iced vanilla latte

S: bacon, egg, croissant

L: turkey pastrami, swiss, cheetos

S: almond sweet salty protien bar

D: I d k

Cavs fell in game 1! do better work harder for SUnday!


have a great weekend.

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/05/2016:
Your salad that you guys made sounds very good! I bet it would also taste good with balsamic vinegar and some oil (probably healthier than the honey one you did...)or a balsamic vinagrette. However, i give you major credit due! I like your ability to be creative and cook up nice things in the kitchen! And your salad really does sound tasty and nice.

I also love turkey pastrami! yum! and besides some sodium (which i never mind & i also buy meats like this...), it's low calorie! :) nice.

toast with maple butter is also good. toast is low calorie compared to...like the croissant. toast is not too bad! and butter makes it more satisfying, yes. hmmm, it just may not keep you full? i always mix my caffeine with carbs, too, like you did with the coffee / toast combo. It fuels me - but if i have it at work in the morning, i'm hungry soon after - unless you had it late in morning, like 2 hrs before lunch? that's what i would do...little carb and fat boost late in morning, then lunch...lol...i had fun commenting today.

InnerPeace - Thursday Jun 02, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Picked up DH and got home. We did the yard work, I hate yard work. DH rode the rider and I pushed mowed with the broken down non-self propelled mower. My arms are so tired this morning, good thing it was only around the edges, trees and corners.

We walked Steve, he wanted to chase the rabbits so bad. I can't believe how many free roaming rabbits are around my neighborhood.

Not a healthy choice for dinner: McDonalds - DH was getting gas in his truck and decided he didn't want to grill the chicken so he brought McDonald's home. He bought lottery tickets...so I may be able to quit my job early next week if everything goes our way!

B: toast with maple butter we bought from the cheese barn, iced vanilla latte

S: sweet and salty protein bar

L: turkey pastrami with swiss on asiago bread, lays chips

S: balanced breaks

D: chicken...if DH cooks it.

DH was saying he may or may not work late tonight, I don't know the word yet.

Come on CAVS!

Have the sleep study group meeting tomorrow, not sure what this is about, but will go anyway. Next week is the yucky well woman check, must shave legs before this!

Have a great night. We have the girl....

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

InnerPeace - Wednesday Jun 01, 2016

Weight: 311.9

Hello June!

DH grilled the steak out and I mashed some cauliflower, it was a quiet night in. DH walked Steve and was gone forever. I left to go look for them, but they were coming around the bend.

B: 2 pieces of toast, iced vanilla latte

S: sweet & Salty almond bar

L: turkey patrami on asiago cheese bread, lays chips


finishing yard work tonight, walking the dog

Progress as of today: 9.7 lbs lost so far, only 101.9 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/02/2016:
Do you mash the cauliflower in a blender? what do you add to it when making the mash? what seasonings? i need to start making things that are tasty like that...i am SO stupid not to prepare anything myself when i have all the knowldedge...especially cauliflower "fried rice" - but only cauliflower & other veggies. i will cook this by maybe...fall. LOL.

innerpeace on 06/02/2016:
I boiled the cauliflower until it was soft. I drained it, added salt and pepper and smashed it up using the masher utensil. I then added a little bit of butter and parmesean cheese and minced garlic. It was delicious.

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