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InnerPeace - Friday Mar 18, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Today would be most described as a complete failure. I decided sometime this morning while in the shower that I was going to leave work early. I wanted to just sit home and watch a basketball game and chill. DH had a doctor's appointment about his knee and he drove himself so it worked out well. I left work about 11:30 and was going to the store for some mozarella cheese and a bag of chips for dinner. DH texts and ask if I will stop by the bakery because he wanted a fritter. Well, OK, it is totally out of my way but I will do that for you.

So driving to the store, this dark cloud comes over me and I just start boohooing in the car. It was a sadness so deep I didn't and don't know where it came from so fast. I was just thinking how, in my life, I just never aspired to do anything. My boss says, he worked hard and has to thank his coworkers and friends for helping him get to his 'dream job'! And then I hear on the TV how a guy in Egypt worked so hard because he wanted to play in the NCAA basketball tournament...and he is. He didn't win, but he played in the tournament.

I am just so lost in what I want to do and it's hard to think about some times. It's hard to say I'm going to work and be the richest person in the world, because that's just not what I want to be. I don't want to be the boss and deal with other people's business and/or problems, so I'm just stuck in a place. So while I'm at the bakery the lady asks if I want to try a snoogle! What is a snoogle? She said it was puff pastry and cream cheese rolled up and iced with butter and sugar. OH yeah! I want to try a snoogle. She gives me one it is about 12-15 inches long and about 3 inches wide. So why don't you give me two, DH and the little girl would like to try it too. So she gives me two...and I'm not proud of this but I ate both of them, in the car, on the way home! Emotional eating anyone?

I just suck tonight! And then DH works every Saturday but he made a comment that his boss said no OT, Ok, so are you going to stay home? And he gets snarky and says, NO! I'm going to work and do what I have to do and then I'll come home? Whtat? You just said no OT! Well that implies everyone but me! What the hell? you don't make anykind of since! Why are you the only one who has to work OT? And then we just go round and round. I don't care if he works OT or not, but oh, but the way, your daughter is here....with me....alone....again! So you just go, you go and you do all the work you need to do! Azzhat!

So DH said the Dr. drained his knee and gave him steroids and maybe that will help his pain he's been having. He said it felt better already. We will see how long that works.

The little girl is here and I treated her hair for lice ....again! because apparently this is my goal in life to try and keep lice out of her hair because her mother won't for some reason. She is babbling away and won't stop, she said she was tired so maybe she will fade out soon! Because we have lots to do tomorrow! Errands to run, places to go!

B: blueberry bagel

S: balanced breaks

L: two 15 inch snoogles (I have no idea how many calories, I will jsut say six donuts)

D: turkey burger with mozerella cheese

I had a buckyeye candy on a peanut butter cookie and then....DH bought a strawberry pound scoop cake at Sam's and I had a scoop of that...

THIS IS A TOTAL WHAT NOT TO DO DAY!

Al I can say  is I will be better tomorrow and hopefully I will get over my sad!

Have more MARCH MADNESS To watch and go OU!

Peace OUT!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/19/2016:
We all have days like this. I am sorry you had one today. I am an emotional eater. I can polish off 6 donuts in a morning. and keep on going for the rest of the day - or week for that matter, or life!! I think what is interesting about your post is - you are just so in touch with your feelings on many levels. I tend to stuff my emotions down inside and not acknowledge them until it's much later. About work - you say you are lost, but that isn't true. You know a lot of what you don't want to do - don't want to supervise people, put up with their "crap" etc....don't want to be the "boss" - over people, but have you ever thought about what you might like to do that would be you working a job that paid well, that didn't include supervisory duties? I know I feel the same way - I don't want to supervise others - I just want to do work and work with people, but I don't want to supervise and be responsible others- I did enough of that - it was called parenting - LOL! Dissatisfaction is the beginning of success!- just keep thinking - in a positive way - what you could do that you'd like to do that you would define as successful. What changes you would make to get there. I am sure you are successful already in many ways. Hang in there - today is another day. P.S. Shame on husband for grumbling at you. We'll assume he felt bad because of his knee and having to work on the weekend and cut him a break, this time. :-)

innerpeace on 03/19/2016:
Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has emotional break downs in the car. And parenting...I know right!


marshallsaya on 03/19/2016:
I'm so sorry you had such an emotional day. I've been there too, and it's not been long ago. I sat sobbing in my car one afternoon with a dairy queen blizzard in my hand, a large one at that. I ate the whole thing, and then sat sobbing because I ate it. I understand those moments it all just bursts out, all that you try to keep hidden from everyone else. The car is always my boohoo place. I pray you feel better today. (( Hugs )) ~Angie

innerpeace on 03/19/2016:
Thanks for this post. I love dairy queen too!



InnerPeace - Thursday Mar 17, 2016

Weight: 312.3

DH and I picked up the little girl. No homework! She made a salad and I cooked some rice. DH grilled the steak out. After dinner we just played around, it was a good evening.

I slept all night, dog slept all night, DH well his knee was bothering him so he went downstairs and took some pain medicine and fell asleep in the recliner. He comes back to bed about 4:30. He was limping this morning, he has a followup appointment tomorrow, so I hope he tells them all the pain he is still having.

Good day at work today with the St. Patrick's day activities, I'm glad everyone participated, usually they are dead pan scientists who just stare at the computer screens. Now I will have to think of something for next time. But for now, I am going to concerntrate on DH's costume for the adult egg hunt.

D: steak, salad and rice - ended the night with 1960 calories, a little high for me, but the steak was sure good.

B: toast, vanilla iced latte

S: natural granola bar

L: piece of left over steak sandwich, orange

S: hard, almond crunch granola (I do not like - will not eat again)

DH took out ground turkey, will have to get creative with that.

MARCH MADNESS is HERE!! Love me some BBALL!

DH is wanting to go to SAMs for some ribs to cook this weekend for the little girl, I said I would go with him.

Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/17/2016:
Good day!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/18/2016:
I am so happy to hear how nice your day was. So cool that everyone played "their part" in the kitchen! Little girl must have loved the carefree night with you & your hubby. No homework sounds like a nice treat for the holiday! Schools are good places. More work places should be like that.

A friend of mine is a teacher in Atlanta. She posted on facebook that she's been incredibly sick, home 3 days from work. She wrote how if anyone is sick, they should stay home from work & not infect everyone. I replied to her post that I wish I could stay home, but my work doesn't pay me to be home. Teachers don't lose pay when they stay home. But most other companies do not allow so many sick days in a year & many folks use some of their sick days more as vaca days at my company since the minimum vacation (what I get right now) is 10 days....I wish workplaces were more considerate of sick workers. Going to work sick isn't easy when all we want to do is rest.


marshallsaya on 03/18/2016:
Sounds like you had a really great and fun day :)



InnerPeace - Wednesday Mar 16, 2016

Weight: 312.3

I was up last night with the dog, this time it was the thunder making him act crazy barking at everything. I might have to invest in a hugging thundershirt I've seen advertised on TV.

Worked on files all day today. Still am in awe of how people keep stuff for 30-40 years without throwing it away. The people who even knew anything about it no longer worked here. I will never understand! One thing for sure I do NOT want to relocate this stuff.

My one main goal for tonight is to clean the bathroom sink, because my DH just won't. I told him before I moved up here I have issues about some things and the bathroom sink is one of them. Growing up either me or my sister (neither would admit to it) would leave toothpaste in the sink and not clean it out. My stepdad bought us two different colored tooth pastes to see who it was, well it wasn't me.To this day I must have a clean sink. My DH leaves everyhing from whiskers to toothpast to food particles from his bridge, in the sink and it grosses me out. Also being in the mlitary I've seen some things done in and to the poor sink I never want to see again and this also grosses me out. STOP READING NOW: one night a girl threw up in the sink and it didn't go down. The next morning everyone is disgusted. i had to wake her up and tell her to clean up the sink. She was being nasty and said she was. I said NOW, people need to use it! And then, I was in a leadership school and the women there were going out late at night and coming in right before class, instead of taking a shower they would hike their leg up on top on the sink and wash their hooha, right there! Nasty, nasty! I was complaining and my room mate told me it was a 'whorebath' trust when I say, somethings you can NEVER unsee!  Ergo, I must clean the sink tonight because....eww!

I should tell you about the heifer Karma. as I was coming downstairs this morning, my DH was telling me he shook the coffee creamer without the lid on and it went all over the kitchen, so he was cleaning it up on his hands and knees. About that time he picked up some confetti I had out for St. Patrick's day and he dumped that all over the table, of course I laughted. and as I went to take a drink of my vanilla ice latte, I sait the glass down on his glasses he laid there and spilled that all over the dining room table and floor! Just saying, I should have helped him instead of laughed!

B: toast and some vanilla iced latte

L: tuna, cottage cheese, crackers
 

S: sweet and salty protein bar

D: DH is grilling steak and something.

We are going to get the little girl and do some home work! Nothing really planned for tonight.

have a good one! and be kind to Karma! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/16/2016:
Our dogs! I lost sleep two nights this week because one of mine was ill. She's better after trip to vet! Poor thing. Have good evening.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/16/2016:
I think the worst type of cleaning is cleaning the shower! ugh!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/17/2016:
lol...now I see why you need a clean sink! those are too many awful experiences. If I had them, I'd need a clean sink too!


marshallsaya on 03/17/2016:
My dog barked all night. I don't know what was going on, but he wouldn't settle down. he's a great dane, so his bark is loud and echos.



InnerPeace - Tuesday Mar 15, 2016

Weight: 312.3

I was up at 2:30 with mah dog! Some nights he sleeps, some he doesn't. I went back to bed about 3:30, I did drink a glass of water. It took me a few minutes to fall back to sleep and I didn't want to get up when the alarm went off, so no zumba today.  My DH and I did walk all aound the mall, looking for me some shoes. I did get in over 5K steps.

We ate dinner at Boston Market.

Some people at work, I swear! Found out today that our office moved was pushed up to November. It was March 2017 but it looks like the fiscal spending will be this FY instead of next. So I will have to drive to downtown CLE again, that's about a 45 minute commute. I'll really miss this 20 minute ride. Oh well, I'll enjoy it for now.

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

L: tuna, cottage cheese, crackers, orange

S: sweet and salty proten bar

D: rotisserie chicken, broiled potatoes and mac and cheese. I ate two pieces of that sweet cornbread.

DH and I went to vote, sometimes, I get the feeling I'm wasting my time. God help us all!

Just now getting home and have a few things to do, so I will wish ou all a good night! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!


InnerPeace - Monday Mar 14, 2016

Weight: 312.3

For dinner last night I settled on a bowl of Lucky Charms, not the healthiest of cereal, but it was what I thought I wanted at the time. I think I would not have been satisfied with anything last night. I ended the night with 1649 calories. I am ok with this, but they were bad calories.

So I'm thinking I slept pretty good because I popped right up this morning and tackled a little bit of zumba. I was happy until DH gives me an apple fritter for breakfast! What the hell. But I've been running around at work today so I'm sure the extra calories I have burned off.

B: apple fritter (360 calories) my toast has (220 calories), iced vanilla latte.

S: sweet and salty yogurt protein bar

L: chicken, cottage cheese, crackers and orange

no afternoon snack

Got most of the stuff out for the St. Patrick's day, but I have been busy so I will finish the next rest of it tomorrow. And people at work sucked today! If ever I have the opportunity to telework or work from home, I'm taking it!

I will do something else aftern I get home.

Have a greate evening. IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 03/14/2016:
Have a healthy week. Good going on the zumba.


hollybelle on 03/14/2016:
I love Zumba!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/15/2016:
Lol, I can't agree more. I hate being around sucky work people. I especially hate being around complainers or people at work who bring you down. the worst. now, I stay away from them.



InnerPeace - Sunday Mar 13, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Relaxing raiiny Sunday. DH went shopping, I stayed and watched lots of tv and snacked on dangerous things: left over candy and gold fish. I started the laundry.. DH returned and I tasted two different pretzel mixes. sweet and salty and smores. DH then made a chicken salad sandwich on flatbread, I ate half of that.

B:  two pieces of toast, iced vanilla latte

L: no real organized lunch, just lots of snacking.

D: nothing heavy, no plans yet.

Received a text from my again. Uncle is not doing good, they called in hospice and he is not eating or drinking anything. For the past year my mom and sister have been taking care of him and I feel bad that I wasn't there to help. I probably won't be able to make it to any funeral or memorial they have for him. I just don't have the money to fly and/or take off work and drive for two days. I will see what happens and if they need me, then I wil go. I will just take off work and drive myself, leave DH here, he has no leave.

I for some reason am feeling bad about this past week. I feel I didn't  give 100% to my effort. I will take the rest of the evening and recommit and do things right again tomorrow. I will concentrate on drinking more water.

Let's do this....!

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/13/2016:
Don't waste too much time feeling bad about the past week. Start this week fresh and go forth and conquer!! You sound like you are off to a good start with the Let's do this comment - Yay!


cybermom4 on 03/14/2016:
That is a lot on your mind. I hope you can make your plans work.


grannyannie on 03/14/2016:
It's a new week. Onward and upward.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/14/2016:
when home for a day on the weekend, I also prefer snacking to an organized lunch :)



InnerPeace - Saturday Mar 12, 2016

Weight: 312.3

DH and I stopped to eat on the way home. I thought it was a sushi restaurant but it turned out to be the Asian version of Chipolte, we stayed. It was ok....and then I'm like why did we come here, we are supposed to go to the Mongolian grill tomorrow with some friends I used to work with at the university.  I had noodles, pork, and vegetables with some teriaki sauce.  Ended the night with 1678 calories.

Didn't go to bed until almost 1 am. Was watching OU play basketball though they lost it was a very exciting and dynamic game. I know they will be selected somewhere in the big dance of 64! I love March Madness almost as much as bowl season.

DH was up about 6:00 , he had to be at work by 7:00. I slept in until 8:30 and then woke up with a headache. It took most of the morning to actually feel like doing someting. I finally got the St. Patrick's Day stuff organized while watching four or five episodes of Law & Order. Washed dishes and done a few other chores around the house. DH got home about 4:00. I took a shower and we left about 5:00, we had to drive to the east side of Cleveland, which we did just fine. Once we got to where we were going to the Mongolian restuarant parking was virtually nonexistant and we had to park a few blocks away. In doing so I parked in a 'permit parking' only spot and was going to drive through to the other side...big mistake. I hit the stupid meter pole and scratched and dented the whole passenger side of my car! I felt so stupid...should have just backed up, but anyway, what is done is done.

Met my friends and had good dinner and good conversation, received a text from my mother and she told me my uncle was going into hospice care, because there is not much else they can do for him. So while it was a nice evening, there were parts of it that I wish didn't happen.

B: multigrain cheerios, vanilla iced latte

L: peanut butter sandwich

D: another pork bowl, this time I flavoried it with a hoisen ginger sauce. Add a small salad and two pot stickers. I didn't use any rice.

S: I had four kisses, 3 miniture reeses and 3 rolos - left  over candy from the St. Pat's stuff. I didn't eat earlier, but this time I couldnt' say no. My candy added up to 357 calories.

I ended the day at 1857, not my best day, but not my worst either.

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/13/2016:
Sounds good like you had a nice weekend so far & got a lot done despite feeling tired in morning. Lately this is me, too. Yesterday, I had to have a small energy drink to get me going and it was already late morning! around 11AM!



InnerPeace - Friday Mar 11, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Got the little girl and helped with adding, subtracting and multiplying fractions..oh joy! After she did her reading, I think she is getting better. I stop and ask her questions about stuff she just read. That is her downfall, reading comprehension, she just doesn't pay attention to what it is that she is reading, she is just saying the words.

I did get the shamrocks to work today, I will be putting them up on Monday.

Dinner was flat bread pizza with the left over chicken and DH put mushrooms on it. It was ok for a left over dinner. Finished the day with 1611 calories.

DH took some pain meds and was out by 9:15. I started watching tv and realized my team was playing. I tried to watch them but they weren't on my channels. I tried watching them online, but couldn't see it there either (because my cable provider something or other) I stayed up to about 11:45, they won! They play again tonight...MARCH MADNESS is coming! I love it. Anyway I finally got to bed about 11:45 and got to sleep all night.

Was sleeping so good we overslept! I forgot to turn on the alarm and woke up at 6:19, we usually leave the house at 6:30, this wasn't going to happen. I think we finally left at 7:10.
B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: sweet and salty granola bar

L: chicken sandwich (no cheese)

S: balanced breaks

D: DH put out some pork something, I really can't say.

No plans tonight, but we are meeting a few people I worked with tomorrow for dinner. Sunday, we will see.

Have a great weekend! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!


InnerPeace - Thursday Mar 10, 2016

Weight: 312.3

So the first 'not very smart' award goes to my boss for deleting an excel spreadsheet I spent two days filling out for our higher headquarters with a deadline date of 3/11.  So completing it a second time didn't take as long because I kept all my notes and reports...but still mostly a wasted day repeating work! #@@%^%^ bleepity bleep!

The second 'not very smart' award goes to myself for reverting back to the same bad habits I'm trying to break, but it was so good and they are gone now...no more cowtails. DH and I finished them off last night. I told him not to buy anymore. It's that 'can't stop' eating them behavior that I have. So ruined the otherwise sensible day I had. Ended the day with 2558 calories, way above my norm. Stupid, delicious cow tails.

D: grilled chicken, rice, salad

cowtails - 5 = 550

The St. Patrick's day stuff still sits on my island.

DH rode with me to work today, so we will both be going to get the little girl. Nothing planned this evening except whatever homework needs to be done, I may get into the St. Patrick's day stuff...maybe.

On my way to work, I kept smelling tuna. Yes, because my tuna leaked out of the plastic container, for a while you could smell it throughout the entire office. Ewww.

B: toast, iced vanilla latte

S: sweet & salty granola bar

L: tuna, cottage cheese, crackers, orange

S: balanced break

D: left over grilled chicken

It is raining today makes for a very groggy, sleepy me!

Have a great evening! IP

 

 

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 03/10/2016:
Well, you had a good day other than those cowtails and it really wasn't a total disaster - probably a delay to your goals rather than a set back. Just don't do it again - I would be mad if my husband bought more when I asked him not to!!! So I hope your H will honor your request!


hollybelle on 03/10/2016:
P.S. I would kill my boss!



InnerPeace - Wednesday Mar 09, 2016

Weight: 312.3

Went to the Y - joined. Tried to enroll the little girl into summer camp - they were already full - waiting list only! Are you kidding me? Enrollment just started on Monday. I guess there is a reason for that first come first served note on the website.  So instead of enrolling her at that facility, she will have to go one closer to where I work. Not sure of the clientale there. She will have to deal with it for three weeks unless 1. we win the lottery, 2. I quit my job,  3. I get an extra 15 days of annual leave handed to me or 4. I get a huge tens of thousands of dollars raise, and I just don't see any of that happening, so I hope she enjoys it and at least has fun.

Not being from around here and still learning my way, I sometimes get turned around and DH, bless his heart whose been here is whole entire life, is no help. So instead of being where I thought I was last night, I ended up in the totally opposite place of where I was trying to be and we ate at a bar and grill. It was getting late and the little girl had to be fed before she went back home. No one like the food, so I think we just wasted that money. I hate that! We could have made better food at home. I had some grilled chicken and mac and cheese - which was very gritty and not at all very good. DH had a burger and he said that was dry and little girl, well, if its not chicken fingers or steak she doesn't like it. Ended the night with 1601 calories.

So still to determine when our first evening at the Y will be! And my St. Patrick's day project still sits and waits on my island taking up space and looking cluttery. I will try to do something with this tonight. There is a hike scheduled for tonight, but DH said he doesn't think he is ready, we will see.

B: toast, vanilla ice latte

S: granola bar

L: tuna, cottage cheese, orange, cowtails (2)

s: balanced breaks

D: grilled chicken and quinoa/rice brocolli medley

Must walk the dog, the weather is so nice today.

Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 9.3 lbs lost so far, only 102.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 03/09/2016:
oh sorry...I guess a lot of folks depend on the "Y" in the summer for their kids! that's pretty crazy.


hollybelle on 03/10/2016:
Good calories - sorry the restaurant was not good. I hate that, too.



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