forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
pinklatte 5:20A
Horn_Of_Plenty 7:51P
Donkey 8:27A
BearCountryGG 8:21A
graindart 7:31A
happy-1 9/21
legcramps 9/21
InnerPeace 9/20
Maria7 9/16
smilewithkatie 5/28
Puddles 5/18
Duaa123. 5/03
52LivingLife 4/16
Jayhawkjen 4/14
trishpiglet3 4/12
thinkpositive 3/21
onceagain 2/01
KathyBlue 1/08
xanthe 11/28
jazzstorie 11/27
Cybermom4 10/31
jabockov 10/06
biscottibody59 9/12
tgshare 8/16
mylilsista 8/10

Recent Forum Topics
DD Future - 2017 - 12:34P 30-Apr

My First time! - 6:19P 7-Mar

Can't post replies to journal posts - 2:14P 17-Sep

WEBMASTER: Replies to comments on diary - 6:16P 12-Jul

DD Maintenance - 05/14/2015 - 2:52A 25-Jul

Shoes - 4:55P 19-Nov

view InnerPeace bio page
InnerPeace - Tuesday Apr 10, 2018

Weight: 303.7

I have taken so much from all of your journals and entries, and I think the difference in mine is I fail to set measurable and realistic goals. When I think I'm doing good for a month I slowly and steadily revert back to all my old habits and bad decision making.

I have had so many conversations with my DH about this, I have a happy life, some drama now and again, but I am genuinely happy with my life and my job and everything, so I am somewhat aggravated as to why weight loss aludes me and why I cannot stick to a goal or plan or life style for any amount of time. I think because way down deep in side I really don't care. The only thing I think about is having to stop wearing my black sweater at work when it finally warms up around here...Not if, but when because it will eventually happen and then all my fat that my nice black sweater covers up will be splayed out for all to see. Now don't get me wrong, It's not like I'm hiding it, because can you ever really hide fat? No.

I had a manager once say...it's all in the choices you make. So I will strive to make better choices and think about the consequences of my choices and then when that binge moment comes along I will think of all the good choices I've made and how much harm that will cause. Sounds like a good plan and it sounds easy. I just have to get right in my head!

DH made a pasta dish with chicken, bacon and cheese!! He obviously didn't get the no dairy memo - well he did...but!

We have the girl tonight...I will work on my decisions and goals.

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/10/2018:
I am also guilty of thinking that I'm hiding behind certain clothes......it's an easy place to go....but deep down inside...I know better too. Hugs!

Donkey on 04/10/2018:
That's the title of my biography: The Lady Who Hid in Her Clothes.

horn_of_plenty on 04/11/2018:
...will you go back to no cheese for the rest of the month?

It is def hard to not give into all temptations of life. you are a good cook, perhaps this is part of your dilemna...or your are used to cooking a certain way? old habits are very hard to break!

happy-1 on 04/12/2018:
I feel you. I tried on running shorts today... and nooooo... not yet, maybe not ever.

I'm trying to have fewer choices. The more opportunities for choices I have the fewer I make correctly... So I'm even going as far as keeping a cooler on the kitchen counter and putting all my food in it the night before with frozen water bottles so I don't even open the fridge door... and hiding from going out to dinner with my parents because I don't trust myself to not eat taco chips and stay on track... so if you are going through normal life and making ANY correct choices, you are better at it than me.

InnerPeace - Monday Apr 09, 2018

Weight: 303.7

Dairy free...ok I can do this. Sunday morning I did miss my iced vanilla latte though.

Saturday I was alone all day and could not get motivated to do anything. I forgot to take something out for dinner, so DH and I had Chinese food, probably not the best option, however there was NO cheese. We had peanut chicken, beef and brocolli, general Tso chicken and fired rice. DH did have a few egg rolls, I don't like them.

Sunday I was up early and got all the laundry done, DH's new job does his uniforms, so that took a load away and I am so grateful for that. As I sit home I made a list of things that I need to do, but making the list took all my energy - just kidding I was watching baseball most of the day.. I made some grilled chicken with spinach and artichokes.

Monday - since I didn't go to the store and am not drinking milk, DH went to McDonald's and got me a bacon and egg biscuit for breakfast.

Lunch - left over chicken

Dinner - not sure - I downloaded a meal plan app Mealine and selected a dairy free option and DH is making one of the five meals - so it could be chicken again or pork, I will know when I get home.

Friday is our first game of the year and I'm so excited. GO TRIBE!

Doing lots of training at work.


More later...IP


Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/09/2018:
That was a SCORE on the uniforms!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 04/09/2018:
So So So proud of you for keeping up with the dairy free!!!!!!!!!! cheers!!!!

I know you must miss the Vanilla Latte...sure you cannot use something else to make it...like the Vanilla Almond milk? Or maybe you can sip herbal tea? i know - it's not the same as what you want :)...anywho, it's probably quite good you are taking the dairy break bc you may get the results you want...especially on the cheese end.

LOL, i sense DH is trying to derail you by getting you McDonalds's...JK....that's a small tasty breakfast anyways! yum!

if you are trying to be sorta good, try not to replace all cheese with other heavy items lol...

ok, i'm being a brat now....you are doing well. very proud of you. awesome on the yoga! i am not good at it, especially at home, bc it requires CONCENTRATION! lol

Horn_of_plenty on 04/09/2018:
So So So proud of you for keeping up with the dairy free!!!!!!!!!! cheers!!!!

I know you must miss the Vanilla Latte...sure you cannot use something else to make it...like the Vanilla Almond milk? Or maybe you can sip herbal tea? i know - it's not the same as what you want :)...anywho, it's probably quite good you are taking the dairy break bc you may get the results you want...especially on the cheese end.

LOL, i sense DH is trying to derail you by getting you McDonalds's...JK....that's a small tasty breakfast anyways! yum!

if you are trying to be sorta good, try not to replace all cheese with other heavy items lol...

ok, i'm being a brat now....you are doing well. very proud of you. awesome on the yoga! i am not good at it, especially at home, bc it requires CONCENTRATION! lol

trishpiglet3 on 04/09/2018:
Have been dairy-free for some time on account of I'm allergic to it. A relative gave me a dairy-free cookbook, which I haven't used and is just taking up space in the kitchen)... measures and things are likely to be in grams rather than cups because I'm in the UK but would you like me to send it to you? "No thanks" is a perfectly acceptable answer :)

innerpeace on 04/10/2018:
Thank you for the kind offer. I have found so many dairy free menu plans online and on various websites. So No thank you! I really appreciate the offer, and I will save you postage. Have a great day.

InnerPeace - Friday Apr 06, 2018

Weight: 303.7

DH received agift card for Chipolte from his job so he wanted to use that. This is OK. I just ordered my food with no cheese or sour cream and it was edible, just as good with just the guacamole.

B: 1 boiled egg and one egg white, banana

L: baked pork chop, blackberries, nuts and granola

S: balanced breaks - I left the cheese for Steve

D: burrito bowl - no cheese or sour cream

So i was very pleased with Day 1 of the dairy free zone!

The girl was over and then YA and his GF came over for a while and brought the two grand dogs so Steve was very happy.

Work has slowed down for a minute.

This weekend kicks off the hiking stick program, so I may go on a few hikes...my myself because DH works this weekend.

Opeing day for the TRIBE.....

have a great weekend!

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

graindart on 04/06/2018:
Good job on making it through the day without the cheese / dairy. Get a successful streak of days going and you'll be in the 200's this month.

horn_of_plenty on 04/06/2018:
I 100% agree with Grainy!

You did a wonderful job. Good choice on just the guac/avocado is healthy fats for sure. The opposite of dairy fat!

Just do the experiment as you are...i hope you are pleasantly surprsied! i am proud of you. i always at Chipotle get extra sauteed peppers and onions :) over a salad...and the rice is just a topping :)

bearcountrygg on 04/06/2018:
Well...Steve is really making out with your new plan isn't he????? And then he gets company too!!!!

happy-1 on 04/06/2018:
Yum. Guacamole on EVERYTHING!!!!

InnerPeace - Thursday Apr 05, 2018

Weight: 303.7

Day 1 of no cheese and dairy. So far, so good. I usually drink milk for breakfast but I'm ok today...I have concluded that milk is the issue with my skin problems too. So this is the start of an experiment.

It took me an hour and a half to get to work this morning, seriously...it is April and I'm sick of the snow.  They say more is coming.

DH baked pork chops and we had baked beans and a salad, which was OK. Lettuce is vile stuff.

Slept good.

Tonight we have the girl and that is all I know.

have a great day!


Oh...Joey was adopted, I hope he went to a good home.

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/05/2018:
I'm glad someone adopted the doggie :)

Good job on no cheese or dairy...Keep on.

I would in your case try to do none of the cheese and dairy for one month...see how much weight you lose.

instead of cheese / dairy, try using some avocado though not all day long!

also, you can i think substitute nothing for most of the cheese / dairy as it only seems to be a topping in the food you make...so just leaving it out seems ok to me...and keep eating vegetables. roasted is my favorite....

honestly, if you can totally leave it out for one month, you can see if you have a weight change...which i believe will be around 5-10 pounds.

bearcountrygg on 04/05/2018:
Interested to see how the elimination diet goes!

graindart on 04/05/2018:
Agree with HOP. If you don't replace the cheese / dairy with something else, I wouldn't be surprised to see your weight start with a "2" within the next 2 weeks.

InnerPeace - Tuesday Apr 03, 2018

Weight: 303.7

At work yesterday I saw a post about a toy fox terrier rescue in Akron (about 40 miles from me) and I am consumed with saving this dog. My household does not need another dog, but I just want to save him. DH said we could do a meet and greet and see if Steve would even tolerate another dog.

I get home and make dinner. I had mushrooms and brussel sprouts in a mustard sauce with the grilled chicken DH cooked over the weekend. It was just ok, wasn't a fan of how the sauce tasted, probably because it wasn't loaded down with some sort of cheese. I also made a quiche for breakfast for the rest of the week, which did have some cheese in it. DH gets home and he eats and showers and sleeps.

The girl texts and asks if she can come over Tuesday and Thursday instead of Wednesday and Thursday? Why I don't know, but these days when DH is at work I have to go get her and feed her and entertain her because he doesn't get home until she is on her way out the door. It is his time with the girl...not mine. But I told her I would get her....maybe I just can't say NO!

Do you find it easier to follow a planned out menu or make your own up?

Telehealth calls are back on - so will have about 42 more days of this and I will be finished with the program. I will make the best of it!

Hopefully I can get to my goal weight which was out of the 300s.

Have a great day! IP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 04/03/2018:
If you don't like the telehealth or it hasn't helped...i'd say QUIT it...and spend your time / sleep elsewhere.

See if Steve likes the dog, if not, somebody else will have to save him :(

lol of course you'd make Cheese quiche haha...too funny per our last conversation!

i hate following any online menu or menu given to me...i have too many other food options than the boring menus or to cook exactly per a menu, no. i do like my own plans better. lately i have so many options though, so many food choices, that it's hard to limit myself lol.

bearcountrygg on 04/03/2018:
No planned menu....I take meat out of the freezer in the morning...and then I figure out what to serve with it from what is on hand.

graindart on 04/03/2018:
I love cheese too. However have pretty much given it up as it was getting in the way of my weight loss. I like all kinds of it, but prefer the stronger ones like 18 month aged Gouda, extra sharp cheddar, and all types of blue. The stronger the flavor, the easier it was for me to control the portion size. Different types vary, but with 1 oz having around 100 calories, it just wasn't a filling snack in limited quantities. I much prefer my bag of 100 calorie microwave popcorn. It takes much longer to eat and seems much more filling. Although I do sprinkle some super low calorie popcorn seasoning on it and several of the flavors are different cheese flavors.

happy-1 on 04/03/2018:
I have to shop sales to keep things at a price point I can handle since I'm not working. A planned out menu is too hard to shop for and match to sales. I basically just pick the proteins on sale, the veggies on sale, and then do a quick menu off that. I have a price book on things that are regular price at different stores I go to for when I can't find stuff on sale.

InnerPeace - Monday Apr 02, 2018

Weight: 303.7

I spent the better part of last month stressing and preparing for a safety inspection. Just when I announce we are finished with phase I, the most intensive part and all of the paperwork and we are now ready for phase II, the housekeeping phase - my co-workers tell me that they heard through the 'grape-vine' that our inspection is going to be cancelled because of our upcoming office move. Ok for one, we havie been supposedly moving the entire time I've been here, which will be three years in October, and two, why couldn't they mention that eight weeks ago? So as I was pouring all my energy and waking hours into this inspection, just to have someone say something like that to me...words cannot describe.

Regardless if the inspection gets cancelled, at least the paperwork is finished and just has to be updated when the review process rolls around.

This is my life and trying to lose weight. I go hot and heavy the first month and then things don't progress as I feel they should, so I revert back to my old, bad habits.

When I got home Friday evening I did not leave my house until I came to work this morning. We had the girl over and we did nothing. Easter we gave the girl her Easter basket and the YA came over with his dogs and stinky GF. They stayed a few hours until the left to go to the mother's house. I was happy to see them go.

Friday, DH made a grilled cheese sandwich made with cheddar and ground beef, it was actually pretty good.

Saturday we had steak, baked potato and salad. I cut my steak in two and finished for dinner on Sunday.

Sunday we had a brocolli, chicken, croissant ring for lunch and for dinner I had the other half of my steak with tortilla chips, and refried beans. DH also grilled some chicken so I could bring for lunch during the week.

I think about how I can turn my work ethic into my weight loss goals.

It snows last night more to come and yes, it is April here in Ohio too!

Points to ponder. Have a happy day! IP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 04/02/2018:
That's the ticket.....your drive to get ready for the inspection was a winner...harness that drive and make it work for you!

graindart on 04/02/2018:
Like you, I'm motivated when I see results that I deem are worth the effort I've put into it. And when the results aren't as I expected, I find it hard to stay on track.

I just have to push through the lack of positive results at times, knowing that the extended payoff is worth it. Started this "diet" 1 year ago (last April 4th or 5th). Weighed 283 at the time, but am now down to around 180 depending on the day. Almost quit several times along the way when things didn't seem worth it, but just pushed through. I know it's overwhelming / depressing at the beginning to look at all of the weight you need to lose, but it is possible if you just keep plugging away week after week.

innerpeace on 04/03/2018:

horn_of_plenty on 04/03/2018:
You are always active doing fun, creative activities. You are a very smart, creative, hard working and sincere person. You have a GREAT life and work ethic and are very well rounded. So, remember don't be hard on yourself.

Your weekend sounds good, except why did you stay home all weekend - you were tired? Even though you were home, you sound to have been doing nice things, cooking good stuff. Your husband's grilled cheese sounds amazing...

I still think if you let go of most cheese that i do think you'll lose 5lbs easy. Maybe remove most dairy? You can replace milk with almond milk, 30 cal per cup for Vanilla flavored which is better than original...and replace some of the cheese with avocado for a fat.

Cheese is not easy to moderate. That's why i do not have it daily. I find it doesn't keep me very full. I'd rather have meat or egg or even tofu.

However, some cheeses are light not sure you'd like those flavors...i don't even love these light cheeses that can be only 30 cal per triangle that are sold in the round containers all sliced up like a pie...but those cheeses wouldn't taste good on grilled cheese.

A tip for you, if you don't mind some extra gas lol, is to make the veggie portion of your meal the biggest. like really big. and the protein and carbs are the toppings.

I do mostly cooked veggies - they are easier for me to eat than cold, unappetizing salads...

For meals, you can eat in abudance, you can eat till definitely very full.

with veggies, i eat them first, protein with them, and then i eat the carbs last, when i'm typically already full. carbs are whatever you like - crackers, toast, any carb. a cup of noodles....anything. just after you eat your meal........once you get the veggies in.

less cheese i think....i hope i didn't offend you!

innerpeace on 04/03/2018:
no! You have suggested the less cheese route many times...one day I will try this. I cannot tell you how much cheese is in my refrigerator. Now, this morning I can tell you there is shredded mild cheddar, mozzarella, taco flavored shred, parmesean, gouda, mexican shred and a log of goat cheese. This is so, so sad! My DH loves cheese and usually once a year we go on a road trip to a cheese barn and get the gourmet blends of homemade cheese.

With that being said, I remember Woody Harrelson saying he had a milk/dairy allergy and it caused his face to break out. I drink milk everyday (with my vanilla latte iced mix) - just maybe this could be why my face breaks out so badly.

The mind is willing but the flesh is week. I will have to ponder this more. thank you for all your suggestions.

horn_of_plenty on 04/03/2018:
wow i hadn't realized cheese to such an extent haha... :)

InnerPeace - Tuesday Mar 27, 2018

Weight: 303.7

DH made some baked sandwich last night for dinner. It was ok. The girl was over and we filled a few eggs for an Easter/April Fool's activity at work. I sent a few postcards and then watched TV. Not a lot going on.

DH is off again today and took Steve to get his nails clipped. They clipped one too short and he bled all over DH's truck seat. They went to lunch and then brought me some mac and cheese from the restaurant.

No idea what's for dinner, but i'm still pretty full with lunch.

Have been selected to be a contracting representative, this entails more training :(.

Need to get priorities in order for anything to work in my life.

B: toast; peanut butter

S: balanced breaks

L: mac n cheese with chicken

more later.

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/27/2018:
I feel you on the priorities!!!

bearcountrygg on 03/27/2018:
We clip our own dogs nails...and getting too deep sometimes happens here too....sometimes it's hard to know where the quick really is. Always makes me sad when it happens.

Donkey on 03/27/2018:
The work/life balance eludes me from April through September, sometimes October... I will enjoy reading your journey.

horn_of_plenty on 03/28/2018:
congrats on being selected to be contracting rep...is this like a raise? apparently, your work trusts you to do the job!

don't be down on yourself too much, you are doing good!

filled in eggs..meaning you colored some easter eggs? cool!

InnerPeace - Monday Mar 26, 2018

Weight: 303.7

Getting back into a schedule. Work is still very intense and there is still lots to do there.

Home front is different. DH eats dinner when he gets home about 8:15 and then he is ready to go to bed by 9:30 and he ends up getting back up and sleeping in his recliner because of acid or heart burn or something - so this isn't working for him. I have also been waiting to eat with him and this is very NOT good fo me, so I will have to work something out here.

We haven't had the girl in two weekends because of DH's wonky schedule, but we have her this weekend, which is Good Friday and Easter. I have chosen this Sunday (Easter - April 1) to start the C25K back up.

The last two weeks have been just not on program, not on any plan and of course I have gained weight. However, I have just accepted this will be my life long mission, as much as I think about it and start over again, I could have losed thousands of pounds by now, but I will just keep trying.

I will be back on here regularly after my short relapse.

have a great day! IP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/26/2018:
I have a suggestion with girlie...that she does partake in your exercise program too. just an opinion really. growing up, i didn't do much exercise until i joined track in 11th grade and my family didn't do much exercise together either and i wish we did.

we also just didn't do many activities out...but you do - all the arts and crafts and all...girlie is so lucky to have you as her loving caretaker. And this is just one reason why...amongst all the others. i just think it's so good to get her out of the house.

one thing my parents also didn't do is make me work - i sorta wish they had me get a part time job 1x a week at least on weekends...idk. just my thoughts.

bearcountrygg on 03/26/2018:
Glad t see you are back...I couldn't stay away either...I had to just decide to make time for Dd...because I was seriously going off the rails food wise......there may be a few where I'm not here...but they will be brief. It is my life long mission too......apparently it's not going to fix itself.

InnerPeace - Wednesday Mar 14, 2018

Weight: 303.7

Telehealth is NOT over, but talking to the coordinator, I told him I need a 2 week repreive. He said OK. It will be turned off from 3/19/18 - 3/30/18 and then I am supposed to rededicate myself to the program. I'm sure this break will help. I told him between work and weighing every day I was getting stressed out, especially when I do everything I should and don't lose weight. He throws around words like, menopause, age, the older you get and crap like that!! Well, maybe it's because I don't make healthy decisions and don't watch portion control, but hey that's just my reasoning.

Pain in butt/thigh is much better today and I figured out what/why it was hurting so there's that! Note to self: think twice before scrubbing the shower with the scrubber under your foot moving your leg back and forth. I was on my hands and knees at first, but that became painful so I just stood up and used my foot. I guess this inflamed a muscle that isn't normally used, which was pressing on the sciatica - so says chiroprator, however, it makes lots of sense now!

I picked up the girl because DH was working and wouldn't you know her book report is due on Friday and she hasn't really even started it. So I guess I will be assisting with the book report on Thursday since this type of activity cannot be done at the residential parent's house for reasons that are illusive - oh because she doesn't do homework help or something!

I grilled baked chicken with parmsean and garlic seasoning, green beans and rice a roni, which has tons of salt, which reflected on my fingers, ankles and scale...oh because I'm a woman and my body does this...so says telehealth coordinator.

DH is dragging after the first 12 hour shifts. He gets home, eats, showers and tries to stay awake but is usually asleep before 9:15...poor thing, he says he likes his job though, so that's always good.

And the sun will rise tomorrow.

Have a great day! IP


Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 03/14/2018:
Sciatica is awfully painful. I feel for you!

horn_of_plenty on 03/15/2018:
i think it's great that you assist her on her hw...

my parents helped me a bit up until middle school years, but in high school i was basically more on my own. my work ethic wasn't great though...and perhaps my parents should have given me more grief when i got C's in math in 10th grade...i ended up being tutored and got an A but just saying...then again, maybe it really didn't matter...

at least you are helping her so that she can move on after hs and go to college or get a good job.

InnerPeace - Tuesday Mar 13, 2018

Weight: 303.7

Just back for a minute. Schedule is wonky since DH started working his 12 hour shifts - the girl nights have changed the girl weekend has changed so we had her two weekends in a row.

Work is stressing me out. The safety inspection that was scheduled for June has now been moved up to April 3...this is not good. We are rushing trying to get things done and this leaves little time for posting.

I've also taken over additional duties facilities maintenance and vehicles due to people retiring, so i've been on a training/learning gig for the last week, pretty busy.

I think telehealth is over...I'm ok with this.

For two days now I've had a cramp like pain in the middle of my left butt cheek that radiates down the back of my thigh, this is driving me insane. I have taken tylenol hoping it will help, if not I have a muscle relaxer.

Will be back on some routine/plan in the next day or so.

Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 17.9 lbs lost so far, only 93.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/13/2018:
yes, if telehealth didn't do much for you, i'd say you gave it a huge try. i'm sure you learned something from it...

maybe you have sciatica in your thigh / butt. maybe stretch / self massage it?

maybe you need more potassium ?

good luck with work, the craziness i am sure will pass!

good to see you passing thru here.!

Donkey on 03/13/2018:
Sounds like sciatica to me. There are great stretches on YouTube that you can do for sciatica. I hope you find some relief. Been there, done that, no fun whatsoever.

happy-1 on 03/14/2018:
OW. Maybe L-glutamine for muscle recovery? A little HMB to cover your muscles like kevlar?

[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 Next Page ]