home
forums directory search about DD
Sign-in or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
BearCountryGG 5:31A
Horn_Of_Plenty 1:18A
happy-1 12:55A
Maria7 11:56A
InnerPeace 9:51A
Jayhawkjen 12/11
Donkey 12/10
xanthe 11/28
jazzstorie 11/27
legcramps 11/27
Cybermom4 10/31
Puddles 10/25
jabockov 10/06
biscottibody59 9/12
tgshare 8/16
mylilsista 8/10
thinnside40 7/21
No_Tomorrow 6/15
Fitmum 6/12
OhioRaven 4/27
grannyannie 4/19
greengirl 4/02
museumgirl 3/24
hollybelle 3/08
Inarut 3/04

Recent Forum Topics
Can't post replies to journal posts - 2:14P 17-Sep

WEBMASTER: Replies to comments on diary - 6:16P 12-Jul

DD Future - 2017 - 6:53P 11-May

DD Maintenance - 05/14/2015 - 2:52A 25-Jul

My First time! - 2:11A 27-Apr

Shoes - 4:55P 19-Nov

view InnerPeace bio page
InnerPeace - Friday Jan 10, 2014
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 307.0

There you have it!! I am much heavier than I thought. That's what happens when you avoid the scale for six months and eat all the things you shouldn't. I was so disgusted last night at the WW meeting, but I did this to myself and it's no one's fault but my own. I'm tne one who ent my elbow to put food in my mouth. I didn't make the correct choices, now I am paying the price.

I didn't feel my clothes fit any different, I did notice it has been more difficult going up and down the stairs at my house, my body hurts. On with the 85th start of a new diet. I want to be more healthy so maybe I can make this work. So calculating points/calories I have certainly seen where I was making a mistake.

D: last night was two spinach, asiago turkey sausages and chips - and then my pathetic weigh in.

I was so upset I texted my BF and told him how much I weigh and included...I have never been this heavy in my life, it is all your fault!! But I know it is just my fault. He hooked up the extra TV in the basement for me to start back with my walking.

B: Oatmeat - 4 points (my bagel that I was eting was 9, not including the cream cheese), iced coffee -6 (i will probably limit this too)

L: yougurt with almonds - yogurt 4 and almonds 6

Going to a fish fry tonight, I will try to stay within my points. this is a crazy ride.

Little girl weekend, I pray for patience and understanding and hope the weekend goes well.

Oh and my scale is still in the garage, where it will stay for now!!

 

Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!

dana_johnson426 on 01/13/2014:
I was thinking of doing the same thing. Hooking up the tv in the garage.



InnerPeace - Thursday Jan 09, 2014
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

I didn't get to the weigh in, I forgot it was the little girl's night to come over so I stayed to eat dinner with her and BF. My BF and his ex have so much drama I feel so sorry for that little girl. I just wish she didn't have to be in the middle of the BS.

D: hamburger (meat and catsup only), BBQ chips

I will try to get to weight watchers tonight, the meeting is at 7:00 and I believe I can get home and get my monthly pass card and get to the weigh in. Really nervous about it, but I guess I have to start sometime, somehow, someway. I am happy with everything except my weight. I can just imagine how ecstatic I will be when I finally lose all my weight, or just the first twenty pounds would be amazing.

Today, Thursday 1/9/14

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese, iced coffee (this will be the last week for the bagels, we have oatmeal next week) and I am not buying anymore iced coffee, will drink tea or water.

L: strawberry yogart, 15 almonds, 1 banana

D: we are supposed to have spinach and asiago turkey sausage, but that could change.

I just figured out why I hate those weight watcher meetings. Half the time other people are talking the same time the leader is, I'm an introvert so it is hard for me to 'share' my experiences, thought and feelings. I just don't feel the warm fuzzy from the meetings. I will make myself go anyway.. I need to be accountable for my actions.

On a lighter note...puppy training sucks!! I think I have a dumb dog.

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!


InnerPeace - Wednesday Jan 08, 2014
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

Campus was closed yesterday and I did not have to work. I spent the day trying to get the salt off the kitchen tile, I mopped at least three times, but there is still white residue on my tile floor. It was -12 with a -37 wind chill factor. Must say this is the coldest temperatures I have been in. I'm just glad I didn't have to get out in it. My BF had to go in, said it was very cold but he made it to work just fine.

B: Blueberry bagel with cream cheese, iced coffee drink

L: honey mustard pretzels and DDP

D: sloppy joe (gound hamburger meat with manwich sauce) and spaghetti squash

Most of the day Steve and I watch Law & Order SVU episodes. I didn't watch that until I started living with my BF. Something on TV caught his attention. My precious Steve!

Tomorrow is the day I weight in with WW . Very nervous as I do not have an idea as to what the scale will read. I will be satisfied if it is still under 300.

Wednesday is DSD day only until 7:30, she usually comes and eats dinner with us and then returns home. It is our weekend, so must come up with something to do to keep her entertained. Weather should be descent maybe we will walk.

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese, iced coffee

L; blueberry yogurt, banana, 15 almonds, DDP

S: honey mustard pretzels

D: TBD

 

Have a great night, IP

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 01/09/2014:
Super cute puppy! I hope all goes well with your weigh in today, and have a good one!



InnerPeace - Monday Jan 06, 2014
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

Saturday: Had a pretty great weekend. After three months finally got all the clothes put away in the armoir. Now we have two guest rooms that someone can actually come over and sleep in. Also started hanging pictures. This is a process, one cannot just start hanging stuff on the wall. Still have lots of pictures to put up but I have to figure this out, no need for extra holes in the wall. Puppy still in training.

B:Blueberry bagel, cream cheese, iced coffee

L: turkey pastrami sandwich, gouda cheese

D: steak ka-bob with squash, tomatos, mushrooms, and some pepper (which was removed) 1/2 cup of rice. Killer to this wonderful meal - pretzel sticks and fried cheese.

Sunday: BF and I went to a starving artist painting sale. First time I have ever been. If you like something pick it up and carry it around, or else it will not be there when you make up your mind. Looking for some art work to hang over the sofa, found an awesome Light house sea scape only  to think I would find something I liked better, I did not and when I went back to get my light house it was gone. Oh well picked up a lovly watermill and a covered bridge two paintings that will brighten up my living room - the room we are hardly ever in. We prefer the family room and the fire place now since it is -8 degrees today.

B: Blueberry bagel, cream cheese, iced coffee

L: half peanut butter sandwich

D: top round sirloin (8 ounces), salad and squash.

I also finished three loads of laundry and swept  and mopped the kitchen floor with something I shouldn't have. There is a residue on the floor that is very slippery and I must remop with something different. Picking up and unhauling fire wood after work. Puppy is adorable but OMG how long does it take before he understands....NO POTTY in the house??? I think he is worse than a kid. Because of the weather they have already closed campus for tomorrow so I will have an extra day off with my dog and fireplace. Happy days.

Wishing you all much success and happiness. IP

 

Still have not got on the scale, thinking of going to a weight watchers meeting again. Paying for it but not using it...not a good thing. I will do this before the week is over, just picking my day.

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!


InnerPeace - Friday Jan 03, 2014
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

So it snowed all night and day and we were released from work an hour early, great it took me that extra time to make it home. Just to discover I couldn't pull into the drive way because of the 3 foot snow drifts. Steve was crazy being alone and I felt awful leaving him in his crate, but he did very good. I was surprised, but it still breaks my heart knowing he is in that crate instead of running free. He is so tiny he doesn't like going out in the cold either, poor thing just shakes all over. But, the little rascal peed on my bed last night. YUCK.

BF and I had to shovel snow again, calculated out to be 348 calories. We shoveled the snow for what reason I don't know, because it is back and we will have to shovel again, dang snow and more to come this weekend. I say we just load up on firewood and snuggle up.

BF grilled chicken and prepared a premade salad for dinner. The chicken was very good, the salad was good and I like the premade kind, because it limits the salad dressing. I made home made cocoa which was very good. All in all I ended the day with calories left over.

How about my SOONERS!! Love them so much, I am very surprised they beat Alabama, so proud to be an alum today.

B: blueberry bagel with cream cheese; iced coffee

L: blueberry yogurt with 15 almonds - I had a banana but it was just way to ripe, nasty stinky ripe...blech.

S: honey mustard pretzel pieces

D: leftover salmon and some type of vegetable.

Last night we were supposed to have DSTBSD but because of the weather we didn't go pick her up, she seemed ok with it, since it was just bitterly cold out too. We will see her again next Wednesday and have her over the next weekend. Looking forward to a weekend with no kiddo. BF suggested we go to church, I am looking forward to that.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

IP

 

 

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 01/03/2014:
I became a Sooner fan in the early 80s when I moved to Omaha. I found the Husker fans to be arrogant. It seemed like the only team to beat Nebraska was OK...which was Ok with me. Praying for a Buckeyes win now though. Peace.



InnerPeace - Thursday Jan 02, 2014
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

Happy New Year to everyone!

I received a new puppy for Christmas, must say I was really surpised was not expecting it...I am a cat person. Little 3 month old toy fox terrier puppy I call him Steve, very cute and I miss him today. First day in over a week that I have been away from him.

Christmas was okay, BF's daughter was over and I can abmit we spent way too much money on her, I just wanted her to have a good Christmas, because I know her life at her mother's mixed home is not something that is overly joyful. I wanted it to be great for her....but she just seems so emotionless. She told her dad it was because she was up so early. I didn't think 7:00 am. was very early, she had to be back to her mom's by 10:00.  After Christmas she spent the last weekend with us and I can say...OMG I know now why I only had one child of my own. WOW incredibly tired between the dear sweet STBSD (Soon to be step daughter) and the new puppy I was on my very last nerve.

New Year's day

B:  I had a Blueberry bagel with cream cheese, Iced coffee

L: 1/2 turkey pastrami sandwhich

S: 6 golden oreos (Last of these, I won't buy anymore.)

D: 8 ounces of blackened salmon and 2 cups of broccoli

I didn't drink any water (will work on thsi) I drank iced tea and diet dr. pepper.

E: Shoveled snow off the driveway and sidewalks, walked up and down the stairs washing and putting away laundry.

Today 1/2/14 - was very hard to get up to come back to work after a week off. It has been snowing non stop and I keep hoping they will close the campus so I can go home and see my puppy:

B: Blueberry bagel with cream cheese, Ice cofee with 2% milk

L: yogurt, banana, 15 almonds

S: honey mustard pretzels

D: some kind of chicken - I usually do not cook dinner, but I saw chicken in the sink to thaw out.

I will have to shovel snow again tonight, not my favorite thing to do, but it is a work out. That little girl comes over tonight, she is such a handful at times. Tomorrow I will drink more water and figure out my calorie totals.

This year will be a great year with new adventures and happiness. I have a great sun dress that I would like to be able to wear.

 

 

 

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2014:
the salmon and broccoli sounds AMAZING! love seeing more people on here eating RIGHT! eating good! i am a true fruit & especially VEGGIES lover! I just can't get enough veggies. congrats on the puppy, steve.



InnerPeace - Friday Dec 20, 2013
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

Not sure how much I weight. I haven't been on the scale.  I know I am the biggest I have ever been in my life and I am extremely uncomfortable. In the last 12 months, I have sold my house, quit my job, moved, got another job, bought another house and trying to live a life that is a total 180 degrees from the one I was living before.

My son joined the air force and is stationed in Korea, he has been married and divorced and is currently dating a girl from India. I miss him terribly. Since I moved, I miss my mother a great deal.

I am living with my boyfriend, who I met in 1986 at my first duty station at Fort Lewis, Washington...the same place my son was born. I am also helping him with is nine year old daughter. We are all over weight. I used to think that all I needed was someone to love me for who I am. OK I did that. Now I have a great job, a beautiful home and I man who loves me more than life itself. But I still have this unbearable weight on me.

My BF is an enabler. I say I want ice cream, he leaves and goes gets it. I say I want chocolate, he asks how much, what kind. I have told him over and over, I want to lose weight, thank you for loving me and making me happy right now, but I want to be around for along time and we need to change our eating habits. He agrees, but we never do anything about it.

Now my bones ache from carrying too much weight, I can't clip my toe nails and this as driven me to the extreme pleasure of a pedicure...but still not helping with the weight. Right now this is all I think about, this is all I want to do. I just read my entire journal (I've been a member since 2001) don't you know if I would have ever stuck to any plan I started I would not be here today.

I know I did not gain this weight over night and it will not disappear over night, I just need to do something about it. My BF has type 2 diabetes so that is a factor and he seems to be supportive at this point, I will actually see how supportive when we start. Our start ay is 12/26/13, I am just getting mentally prepared. A girl at work is vegan and gluton free, I wonder what she eats all the time?

I have been paying WW membership with a discount (a perk from work) but I haven't gone back since the first weigh-in. I'm paranoid. I'll hopfully figure this all out. It's been a crazy year.

 

 

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 3.6 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 12/20/2013:
Just the fact that you are here and put all of that in writing is a good start. It sounds like you have so much going for you . You & your bf both definitely need to be on the same page in order for this to work.



InnerPeace - Monday Jan 14, 2013
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

So I finally broke down and called the real estate man, I already forgot his name. I am meeting with him Thursday after work to talk about getting a for sale sign in the yard. I am very nervous about this. I have never sold a house before. I spend a lot of time watching home buying shows and I think I made myself paranoid. And then there are already two other houses for sale on the same block, so that is very discouraging. One has been for sale for about 3 months and the other one just went up for sale last week. I do know it is not a sellers market but I need to either move closer to my job (35 miles one way - about 40 minutes) or get to Ohio, decisions decisions decisions and I always seem to make the wrong ones.

I am addicted to the International House iced french vanilla coffee - that is mixed with milk. I have to drink one on work days...no I don't have to, but I love it.

Breakfast - IH french vanilla iced coffee and a banana

Lunch - Greek yogart, 100 calorie pack of almonds and two clementines

Dinner - Lean quisine salisbury steak with macaroni and cheese and two clemenentine (I have to eat these before they go bad).

The weekend was too messed up to even mention which involved breakfast at Denny's and McDonalds for dinner on Sunday and I didn't get a salad, I am really going to work on this food issue.

Have a great day!

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 127.6 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 01/14/2013:
I had Mc'd's food for lunch today, so you are not by yourself. :-)


OhioRaven on 01/14/2013:
Don't give up. You know what to do. Good luck on your moving decision.


mylilsista on 01/15/2013:
OhioRaven is right, do NOT give up! I started at 339 lbs, years ago and am currently at 195 (only 25 lbs from goal weight). I cannot tell you how many times I began losing weight but deviated from my plan & felt so guilty about it that I gave up & resorted back to my old eating habits. I had to learn that my goal was "progress" not "perfection". Congrats on the 0.4 lb loss!


mskitty on 01/21/2013:
Hope to see you update soon, its better to step back and look at the "bad days" from a different perspective. I tend to blow the mess-ups way out of proportion and jumping into the habit of beating myself up if my day/weekend/week doesn't go according to plan- didn't/doesn't serve me. When I feel it coming on I really try to forgive myself... since it was the beating up on myself that put me in a place where I felt defeated and just wanted to eat-eat-eat. Forgiving myself is harder then any diet I have ever been on but something I think every goal/diet needs for success.



InnerPeace - Friday Jan 11, 2013
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

Suffered from an awful migraine yesterday. I usually keep pretty good control over them but this one got away from me!

I am having crazy dreams of late. Last night I was running in and out doors, floating on a barge and chasing after Nicolas Cage. I just spent the day watching home buying/selling shows and cooking competition shows so who knows where my dreams come from.

I only ate spaghetti yesterday thinking my migraine would upset my stomach...it didn't.

I have plans to eat breakfast tomorrow at Denny's with friends, I'm glad they have a lite fit menu, but I really want pancakes, I guess this is where moderation comes into play.

OhioRaven: My Scott is in Elyria west of Cleveland. If my house sells I will be moving there. I have visited a lot in the last six months and think it is really beautiful. Not looking forward to the winters though.

 

 

 

 

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 127.6 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 01/11/2013:
You're right the winters up in Cleveland are Tough. But you've got a great football fan base with the Browns. We've got to get you off the spaghetti. Try some soup :v )


supercheese on 01/11/2013:
i LOVE the dennys lite menu...where you can pick and choose how to make ur breakfast. Im a big fan! Have a good day!


IndependentEm93 on 01/11/2013:
Have a great day! Pancakes are soo good!


legcramps on 01/11/2013:
Hmmn, chasing after Nicholas Cage huh. LOL, sounds like some pretty interesting dreams you're having! Sorry to hear about your migraine, hope you're feeling better today :)


Tangalyn~ on 01/11/2013:
hehe interesting dreams :) hope u have a great day!


liza36 on 01/11/2013:
Nice going with choosing from the lite menu. Enjoy it!


Umpqua on 01/11/2013:
Welcome back and I hope you have a nice weekend!


V on 01/11/2013:
Hope that your migrane is gone..Love Nic BTW :P LOL Have an awesome weekend!


hollybelle on 01/11/2013:
Hope you feel better now. Oh, and if you catch Nicholas Cage, call me!



InnerPeace - Wednesday Jan 09, 2013
(Low Calorie Low Fat)
Weight: 293.6

I dreamt of tornadoes last night. I dream of them often. I once thought that it was because I am terrifed of them after being caught in the May 1999 tornado in Oklahoma City but after doing research I found that the tornado can symbolize things like

-terrible temper

-a lot of trouble

-getting through something

-so much energy

-so stressed out

-not expecting something to be so bad

I am going through all of that right now. I am trying to have this long distance relationship and trying to sell my house and my job just sucks, and this is supposed to be a better year.

Scott just left on Sunday to go back to Ohio, I miss him already! We have this bet about who can lose the most weight before we see each other again, not anytime soon yet! :(

I didn't eat bad until I got home after the second job and then I ate the corn chips that was left over from the National Champtionship game, I told everyone to take the food they brought, I guess these were forgotten. I had plans to get up this morning and walk, but couldn't make it. I will try again tomorrow. I keep thinking today is Thursday...darn it's not.

Totally off topic - today driving to work I saw an older model cadillac or big long car with 'curb feelers', so my question is do or did those work in someway? Or are they just for decorative purposes?

Have a great day!

 

 

Progress as of today: 0.4 lbs lost so far, only 127.6 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 01/09/2013:
Don't give up, Peace. Everybody's life is a little messed up. What part of Ohio is Scott in ?


IndependentEm93 on 01/09/2013:
Hope the stress will leave you soon!



[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 Next Page ]