- Monday Feb 04, 2002
I am still sick. I have been to the doctor twice and he has given me a ton of meds, but nothing has seemed to help. I have a cough I just cannot get rid of. I cough so much my entire body hurts and I swear there is something lodged in my throat. This has taken a toll on my eating, which would be good at any other time, but I'm lucky if I eat anything at all. Saturday my son had company over and I did not feel like cooking, so I go them McDonalds take out. I had a sausage biscuit, or I should say half, because I didn't eat it all. For dinner I had a few Pepperidge farm goldfish. Sunday, I tried to eat a bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal, and for dinner I had a half turkey and swiss sandwich. I haven't been drinking my water which I'm trying to do today.
I have drill this weekend, which will not help matters any, especially if I have to spend it all outside again.
I hope you all had a great weekend.
- Monday Jan 28, 2002
I was away for awhile due to an illness I have yet to figure ot what it is. I just know that the first two days, my bones were so sore I couldn't sleep, because my hips would just ache and ache, I couldn't sit because then my neck, back and shoulders would ache so I moped around the first two days. The third day I would alternated between sweating and freezing and had to survive through the first day of class. The fourth day was pretty much the same as the first, but I did have to go to work and that made it intolerable. Wednesday the fifth day I picked up an awful cough that still is with me. The doctor said it was brochitis, which I thought was reserved for smokers. Now over a week later I still have the awful cough that keeps me up at night, and my hips are still hurting.
Needless to say, I was naught for exercise, but I didn't manage to eat anything outragious either. I hope all are doing well, keep up the great work.
- Thursday Jan 17, 2002
I woke up and was late for work. I had no time for breakfast. That through my whole schedule off because then I was hungry before lunch. I have many, many errands to accomplish before I can go home after work, that means it will be dark and I will have to talk myself into some type of exercise.
Hope you all had a productive day.
- Wednesday Jan 16, 2002
That's OK, I wouldn't expect everyone to understand about my "little chickies" at work. Please understand I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with "thin" or "skinny" people. It's there attitude I have problems with. It's their blatent disregard for other people and other people's feelings. Just general kindness is all.
Today was a short day. I took my little Kushka to the vet to get spayed, she was none to happy. I then waited for the cable man to come and install the road runner. My son isn't impressed, he still says the computer is slow. I swear some people just can't be satisfied.
- Tuesday Jan 15, 2002
Sitting at my desk yesterday, a very slim and attractive analyst was saying she had to go work out that evening because she had overeaten at lunch. I'm thinking to myself she probably ate an extra lettuce leaf or something and then I wondered do slim people say that around fat ones to make them feel bad or something? Or is it some kind of empathy to let me know that she has to work out to "sustain" her trim figure? I know this girl is a perfect size 5 and worries about working out. I say I'm not having a piece of birthday cake because I'm trying to lose weight. She has the gaul to say, WHY? Don't they know that makes them look stupid in my eyes and I don't care where they got a degree from? OH...so that's what the anal means in analyst.
The only thing that kept me from reaching up and snatching a knot on her head was that another worker said "it's all in the choices you make", and she replied, yeah, "I guess I didn't need to eat that whole sandwhich"
I left work thinking I had class at 5:30, but it doesn't start until next Monday. I went to a Chinese buffet at lunch, BIG MISTAKE. I tasted it all night long. I grilled a steak outside for my son and made him some macaroni and cheese. I then went and played cards with my friends until after 10, I should have went for a long walk or to the gym but I didn't make that choice. I really enjoyed drinking my water today. It was mighty fine.
Here's hoping you all make some great choices today. Smiles. Jo Ann
- Monday Jan 14, 2002
Weekend turned out to be quite entertaining. I work until noon on Firday and I actually went out for a 2 mile walk. Friday night my son had some friends over and I was trying to entertain Brittney, she is ten and a few times I just wanted to shout "Please be still" she was just all over the place. I rented the "Princess Diaries" for her to watch and my VCR picked this night of all nights to break. She stayed up and watched the cartoon network all night long. I received a phone call at 3am, which turned out to be my very first love. It was exciting and strange. He called just because he had a dream about me and wanted to see how I was doing. I would have left to go and see him but with the kids over and having to get up for drill early, I said no, maybe another time. I'll probably wind up kicking myself in the butt for that.
Saturday was a drill day. For once we kept busy so it turned out to be an OK day. I did manage to watch the "Princess Diaries" it was the tape and not my VCR so Blockbuster gladly replaced it and I watched it with my girlfriend. It was a great movie, I just loved it. It inspired my friend so, she wants to apply to be a contestant on "Survivor". She said she would need my help trying to get back in shape. Great that makes two of us, so maybe we can motivate each other. We both have a reason to lose weight. Sunday was the same, I was kept busy all day, which for a change is great. We did alot of strenous work, putting up and tearing down tents. Sunday night was spent catching up on house cleaning and the laundry I don't get a chance to do.
I ate good, but I didn't get all my water in. I'm working on that. Tonight I'm going to get my hair cut and meet with my friend to see if we can come up with an idea for her video to submit with her application to "Survivor". I'm so excited for her, I hope she gets accepted.
You all have a great evening. Jo Ann
- Friday Jan 11, 2002
(Hilton Head Metabolism Diet)
It's amazing what a chain of events will do to your thinking. Yesterday I couldn't leave work (what a nightmare just thinking about that) because I locked my keys in the car. I had a girl I work with take me to my mom's house (she wasn't home when I called - but the extra key is there)anyway, once we got there, mom was home and she took me back up to get my car. While I was there I found an old tape I had made while I was still on active duty. It was a bunch of short clips of HOOAH activities and exercises we trained in. There was a clip about and Airborne Operation (when I jumped out of airplanes) so I took it home and watched it.
Then... while I was watching it, I remembered how I felt. The pride was overwhelming. I want that again and I think that was finally my motivation to actually get back on track. And then if that wasn't enough I received a phone call from a friend I had while stationed at Fort Bragg and she was my roommate for two years in Hawaii. While talking to her I looked in the mirror and realized she wouldn't even recognize me anymore because of all the weight I've gained. This is a girl I jumped out of airplanes with and ran 4 miles a day with for almost 6 years. That can make you sit down and really look at things in a whole new prospective.
Yes, folks, that is all the motivation I needed. Now, I'm off to see how I'm going to deal with this.
Have a great day and enjoy the weekend I won't have. Jo Ann
PS. violetsareblue, my old name was BIGOLEJO
- Thursday Jan 10, 2002
Had a hard night with a sick son. He couldn't sleep because of a cough he can't seem to get rid of. We went in for a throat culture but it came back negative. All the nurse had to say was "we can't do anything for a non-productive cough" and sent us on our way. So my son moped around all day.
I finally went out and bought some over-the-counter remedies. It was so funny, I had just seen a commercial for some cough syrup so that is what I went after, I never knew I had a touch of dyslexia. I went to the pharmasist asking for WD40. You should have seen the look on his face. He thought I was absolutely nuts, I didn't figure out why until he directed me to the automotive department. I looked at him and we both laughed. I wanted the Formula 44D, but I bought NyQuil Cough, DayQuil, Alka Seltzer Cold and Cough, Cough drops and a diet coke. I figured one of them might work, and they did for about 4 hours at a time.
I called the gym that I'm a member of and had them fax me an aerobic schedule, again. I really want to go and check it out but things will change on the 21st. I was admitted to the University of Oklahoma and will have class on Monday and Tuesday nights, so I have to plan around school.
I'll get re-motivated this weekend at drill, I know for sure. I hope you all have a great day.
- Wednesday Jan 09, 2002
OK so far this morning I returned library books and dropped off the dreaded uniform to prepare for drill this weekend all before 7:00 am. I hate the thought of drill after having five weekends off. Oh how I hate it. I think Charlotte asked me long ago if I hated drill so much because I was overweight. My answer to that is mostly YES and partially NO. Yes because I feel uncomfortable with my weight and I'm not portraying a soldierly image, but I hate when we sit around and do nothing which is 1/2 the time. I could be catching up on laundry or doing something constructive, God forbid it would give me more of a chance to exercise. I really need to change my attitude.
I was driving to work today and passed by a Burger King with an inside playground with all the plastic colored balls. I remember when my son was little, my parents would make a special trip to this one Burger King so he could play in the balls. He would always get so excited that he got to go. He would always say, he was going to 'jump in the balls' with such enthusiasm. Once he got there it was a bear to get him out, he had so much energy and never wanted to leave. Well, I'm going to look forward to, not just exercise, but everyday as 'jumping in the balls'. Aren't kids the greatest?
Yall have a great day!
- Tuesday Jan 08, 2002
I have all these great ideas, but I just don't know how to go about setting them into motion. I read a "CATHY" cartoon long ago with the caption "Strong enough to make plans, but to weak to keep them" I wrote that down, because I knew somewhere in my life it would pertain. Boy, did I find out where, trying to diet and lose weight.
I read in someone's journal entry (I forgot who, sorry) that they were so much more happy at their current weight and still couldn't believe they had weighed so much. Well, I think I have been overweight for so long I can't remember what it felt like. I remember what I did and I even kept some of the things I wore, with hopes I could someday wear again, but I don't think I remember ever appreciating the way I felt. That will be something to look forward to.
I also read some journal entries and think to myself, how can these people who weigh, what I consider to be my idea weight, need to lose weight? Sometimes it disturbs me to think they want to be smaller. Now I realize how everyone has opinions of themselves and need to be at ther goal weight but I can't see how someone who weighs under 130 pounds messed up their diet because they ate an extra chip at lunch. Sorry to be so hateful, those are just my feelings and I'm not finger pointing, so I hope no one gets paranoid and thinks I'm talking about anyone, because I'm not. I'm just having my own little pity party, which i have to take part in, with hopes of improving my motivation. I can think to myself. One day...one day...I'll get there.
Thanks to Connie and Christy for trying to get and keep me motivated. Hugs to you both.