forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
Horn_Of_Plenty 10:58A
BearCountryGG 6:45A
happy-1 11:51P
Donkey 4:40P
graindart 3/22
thinkpositive 3/21
Maria7 3/20
52LivingLife 3/18
InnerPeace 3/14
trishpiglet3 3/12
Jayhawkjen 3/11
Puddles 3/03
onceagain 2/01
KathyBlue 1/08
xanthe 11/28
jazzstorie 11/27
legcramps 11/27
Cybermom4 10/31
jabockov 10/06
biscottibody59 9/12
tgshare 8/16
mylilsista 8/10
thinnside40 7/21
No_Tomorrow 6/15
Fitmum 6/12

Recent Forum Topics
My First time! - 6:19P 7-Mar

DD Future - 2017 - 7:59P 1-Jan

Can't post replies to journal posts - 2:14P 17-Sep

WEBMASTER: Replies to comments on diary - 6:16P 12-Jul

DD Maintenance - 05/14/2015 - 2:52A 25-Jul

Shoes - 4:55P 19-Nov

view KathyBlue bio page
KathyBlue - Tuesday May 10, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 174.3

Are you looking for additional support, motivation, and inspiration? Are you interested in getting to know us on a more personal level? If so, I have just the thing for you.  The Diet Diaries Facebook group is a completely secret group that allows members to be more involved with individuals by participating in challenges and ongoing discussions about mental and physical health (as well as some fun non-health topics).  Are you concerned about privacy? No worries, I created this group to be completely secret so your FB friends will NOT be able to see that you are a member of this group or the posts you leave on the group page. Its totally confidential! 

If you want to join, all you need is a Facebook account! Just send a message  to dietdiaries@ymail.com that includes your facebook page (go to your profile page and copy the web address that shows up in your browser into the email) and your DD name. Then, one of the three FB group administrators will answer your request with a FB friend request. Once you accept the friendship request, we will invite you to the group!  :) 

Hope to see you there!

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. - Lance Armstrong

Good morning, Girls!

Yesterday was a hungry day, without too good food choices - but well. My colleague was having a birthday, and I treated myself well with a small slice of both cakes she brought. No second helping, but unnecessary calories, no doubts... because then I arrived home and felt super hungry. Man made liver, stir-fried on olive oil with onions and garlic, and pasta. Yummy, it was super delicious with pickled gherkins!  I also ended up with the rest of the prunes I had... My guess is 2200-2300 kcals. Too high.

I had tennis today morning, then I jumped on the elliptical because I wanted to enjoy some gym music I had on my mp3 player and sweat. Succeeded! Spent 20 minutes sweating on the tunes of a very pushy Les Mills Body Combat disc. Yesterday I went to HidroCycle instead of tennis (the coach sent me an SMS that he wouldn't arrive in time, and I didn't feel like waiting for him at 7 am...). Today, I still want to go to the pool, but I have severe back ache. I don't know why, maybe it's psycological because I haven't been having back pains for a long time, and I have this stupid pain in my lower side, maybe TOM, finally? BTW, the witch doctor had not been able to solve this mis(t)ery of my non-existing TOM...

Today's menu:

06H00 - soy yogurt w/ cereals (200 kcal)

10H00 - LF milk w/ coffee (50 kcal)

12H00 - veggie soup (100 kcal), natural tuna w/ chickpeas, mushrooms and an onion w/ some olive oil and vinegar on top (500 kcal), LF milk w/ coffee and an apple (100 kcal)

16H00 - mango and some whole wheat toasts (300 kcal)

20H00 - a rice cracker (20 kcal)

21H00 - fish w/ cooked vegetables, iogurte w/ fresh strawberries (400 kcal)

Grand total: 1700 kcal

Progress as of today: 151.9 lbs lost so far, only 29.3 lbs to go!

Em17 on 05/10/2011:
Cake is deliicious whether we really don't need it anyway =). Bad food does make bad choices =(. I hope your back gets better =)

Judles on 05/10/2011:
WOW seeing all that exercise you're doing is jumping out and telling me where I'm going wrong right there! You are so amazing and to have lost so much weight what an inspriration. I'm loving this group. You guys are awesome :)

hollybelle on 05/10/2011:
Yes, 950 is low - but I didn't really do it on purpose. I will make up for it later, I'm sure. I want to shake up the calories this week.

thinkpositive on 05/10/2011:
Your weight loss is so inspiring. You seem to mix up your exercises, gives me something to think about.

Umpqua on 05/10/2011:
Thanks Kat and I'm sorry you've been feeling down. I hope things turn around for you and you can continue with the tennis, I know how much it means to you! Oh and I have your stevia package, I'll be sending it out tomorrow!

loveray on 05/10/2011:
pom = pomagranate. bom dia to you!! hope you have a great day. xo

YellowDress on 05/10/2011:
Hey!Happy to hear about your yellow trousers and wish to see myself with my dress,one day :) and i really appreciate your determination on exercise!! Have a good day!

moogy on 05/10/2011:
I think that once we have been told something is wrong with us we become particularly sensitive to any activity in that area. I know that every time I feel dizzy I really notice it now, whereas before I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I hardly had any TOM's for twenty years from 25 -45 and then became as regular as clockwork, at 55 I have had enough thank you!! I say no TOM is a good thing as long as you are healthy. I am so proud of you and your exercise schedule, enjoy today and worry about tomorrow later. Love you Kat:)

~Moody~ on 05/10/2011:
I always say it's all about balance..You do so well the majority of the time, so enjoy the goodies (cake)...

Sorry to hear about your back hurting so badly~I don't know if it's psychological or not, but I highly doubt it. Maybe you're just noticing it more due to everything going on~Hang in there hon..

Oh, and LOVE todays quote~thanks for sharing

KathyBlue - Monday May 09, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 174.3

Hello, girls,

Monday it is. I'm still thinking about life, universe and everything..., I cannot express my feelings now... I'm awfully under pressure at home to leave tennis, etc...

Today's menu:

06H00 - toasts w/ a Lf natural yogurt, a tomato and LF soy milk (choc flav) 350 kcal

10H00 - LF milk w/ decaf. and hot bread (YUMMY) 400 kcal

12H00 - tomato soup (50 kcal), pork tenderloins from the oven w/ salad (lettuce, onion, tomato w/ vinagrette) (400 kcal), an orange, and some healthy dessert (250 kcal)

17H00 - an apple, some cake sampling (colleague's birthday) 500 kcal

Grand total: 1800 kcal

Progress as of today: 151.9 lbs lost so far, only 29.3 lbs to go!

loveray on 05/09/2011:
hope you had a great week. missed you, looking forward to catching up with you. sending lots of love and congrats on your loss!!! woohooo

liza36 on 05/09/2011:
I'm sorry this is such a tough time for you at the moment. You have been incredibly strong, physically and mentally, throughout your whole journey. I know you will figure out what's best for you, and you'll keep at it until you reach your goals. Hugs!!

hollybelle on 05/09/2011:

skinnygrlwithin on 05/09/2011:
Hi!!!! It's been far too long... I'm doing ok... much to catch up with you on. I see you are under a bit of stress?? What's going on in your life??? Is everything ok???

Bikiniwax85 on 05/09/2011:
Hope you'll feel better soon babe :)

mcwoo40 on 05/09/2011:
Sorry you are going through a tough time,i am sure it will all come better in the end.Be very proud of what you achieved,best wishes to you :)

mcwoo40 on 05/09/2011:
... cook the mushrooms in a little skimmed milk then thicken with cornflour,plenty of black pepper :)Thanks for the invite to your place.Love to take the offer up but could'nt leave this tribe to defend for themselves,plus i would miss me dog :(I had an invite to go to cyprus last year and did'nt accept should of,as she is coming back to the uk to live next month :)

nemogirl on 05/09/2011:
Wow, this sounds upsetting and confusing. But, I do know this: only you can decide what to do. When there is a lot at stake, it's very important to weigh the advice people give you carefully, because they aren't in your position.

moogy on 05/09/2011:
Take your time Kathy, you need to give yourself some quiet head space to sort out what you are going to next and for the future. We all love you Kathy:)

biscottibody59 on 05/09/2011:
I wish you clarity in this--and some good news. In the meantime, do your best to keep up your fitness in whatever way you can.

Judles on 05/10/2011:
My first day on DD and I read your blogg. Your weight loss is amazing and you must be so proud of yourself. I aspire to be like you some day :) Keep up the good work.......

KathyBlue - Sunday May 08, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 174.3

Hello, Ladies!

It's going to be a sunny Sunday, looks like it! I have a tennis game booked with a French guy (funny pronounciation, hehe) at 10 AM.

OK, so the alternative doctor's appt... She practices acupuncture and iridology, among others, and she's a real medic anyway, who turned alternative over the years. She took extra courses on obesity. Iridology is reading the iris of the eye.: http://altmed.creighton.edu/Iridology/principles_of_iridology.htm

How should I explain the happenings?  I didn't come back to DD's yesterday because I wanted to organize my thoughts, I was confused. Today morning (it's 7am) - I'm not better, not a little bit. So, the following words will be of a confused woman, apologies.

First of all, I think I should write a book by now. It could be something with the title: "The story of my last twenty pounds..." or similar. Because this is the point when my world turned upside down. I was very confident that I had been doing everything correctly. No mumbojumbo, no medication, no gastric bypass or other surgeries - just the most simple and natural: 1400 kcals and exercising. I had 300+ lbs back then, remember? It wasn't that long ago, and we've been doing this together. I went to the doctor (endocrinologist), he gave me a sheet indicating the usual "MUST / MUST NOT" foods and I've been pretty successful with the maintenance. My medical records has been OK - cholesterol unexplainably higher than the healthy limit but not that high. So, on that 14th January, 2010, I remember, I started this journey and 2010 had been a very successful year. I started exercising by walking, and then added, in February, tennis, as it's always been (and will be) my passion, the love of my life, my dearest, the one valuable that makes me smile whenever I think of it. The art of playing it, the movements, the beauty of each step just like a super-elegant dance with a raquet as an extension to the hand, and the ball which has to be hit at the perfect height and distance, to gain the power and speed to go back again where it came from, hitting the perfect spot where the adversary player expects it the least... Oh well, briefly, tennis is my drug, but I bet you've come to understand by now. So, back to the timeline, in February, 2010, I joined the trainings at the university, twice a week. So I had, by then, my diet of 1400 kcals daily, two times tennis a week and walking. Things went pretty well, just when I decided to get my back treated by the orthopedist, because as the more pounds melted down, the more visible became my hunchback, a medical condition I'd never really realised in its full seriousness. The first orthopedist sent me to an other doctor, spine specialist and he told me I'd need to have the surgery. It sounded creepy, with all my 28 years I did fail in seeing the great picture. I put the question aside, blaming the system. I went to a neurosurgeon my friend and colleague indicated, and he - despite of not being the spine (bones) specialist - prescribed physical therapy for me. I enjoyed that, for a month. A postural reeducation and hidromassage three times a week - what should one want more. I came out from phys.theraphy with the indication: must get more physical, must do more exercise. They gave me exercises to do at home to improve posture, but I just systematically failed doing exercises at home, I had a history to prove. That was the point when it was time to sign the new contract for the next two semesters at the university stadium. From September to July 2011, I decided to take the VIP membership, the "Golden Card" as they called it. A card that allowed me to participate in nearly everything, and the most important, I saw the possibility to play tennis more than twice a week! I made my plan of classes, I wanted tennis three times a week, aquafitness twice and Pilates on Saturdays, to get my postural reeducation in classes conducted by professionals. I had this plan to exercise 6 days a week, giving my body a rest on Sundays. It was pretty simple and filled my heart with joy - I was going to reach my goal weight, the dream body that all other women on the street seemed to have, except me. I was filled with anger and bitterness by then, I thought the Creator had been unfair to me, giving me such curse - being fat since I know myself as a human being. I was losing weight light-speed, and the mirror, that damned mirror, was showing me a girl with extra skin all over, looking like a naked mole or newly born hamster, and that... hunchback. I raised exercise by December, introducing a violent, 3-times a week 2 hours duration badminton training, and I started to have binging issues. I also wanted more postural reeducation, so besides tennis and badminton which were highly effective to lose weight, I introduced more Pilates-like trainings and got myself a personalised, posture-focused gym plan. I wanted more muscles so I joined BodyPump. The binges continued, excess eating with soups and milk shakes... and there came a terrible feeling of failure. I was sabotaging myself, for God's sake! I was terrified, but yet whenever I started eating at night, in the comfort of my home, it didn't seem to stop. I wanted the flavors to stay forever, and give me more pleasure I desperately needed. I haven't been having a steady, healthy sexual relationship with my man for years, due to his work stress issues. In addition, he fell deeper into the ditch, he started not receiving his monthly wages. We've been facing money issues for some time now. So, to escape from all these, and in order to arrive home the latest possible (avoiding binging and being with a stressful, always grumpy man), I introduced more exercise for the nights, and have been having tennis five times a week, at 7AM. My Hungarian friend, Andrea, joined me to BodyPump and HidroPower...

So, to make a long story short: the iris reading resulted in: my immune system is low, I'm not taking enough vitamins, my body is in hipothermia (that explains why I feel so cold all the time), I should eat better (GRRR...), I should exercise less (three times a week, and only aquatic) and she hasn't been able to dermine which advice to give: to have the surgery done ASAP or to postpone it the most possible. But, she concluded that tennis could put me in a wheelchair anytime. Yup. Life sucks. I go for the surgery on the 14th June. And I should write a book...

Progress as of today: 151.9 lbs lost so far, only 29.3 lbs to go!

mysterywoman100 on 05/08/2011:
Kathy I am so sorry about your medical problems. I am having knee replacement surgery on May the 31st on my right knee and going to have to have the left 1 done soon. Arthritis runs in my family on both sides and my mom had knee replacement done on her right knee and she weights 130lbs. I hope after you have surgery you can continue with some exercise. You look so pretty and even with the problems you have now you are still alot better off than when you weighed 326lbs. Losing weight is very hard and you have done that great. We will be here to hold your hand as you go thru this too.

Bikiniwax85 on 05/08/2011:
Kathy, you know what? When ever I look at you I see a beautiful women! :) and I envy you! You have all the determination in the world! God knows where you get that from! Me in the other hand, just wish that I could be as strong as you are.

I am so sorry about your BF I hope everything will be back to normal as soon as possible for both of you. hugs

hollybelle on 05/08/2011:
EVERYTHING you have done for your health has lead you to this point and this is where you need to be for this moment-another stepping stone on the path to beingthe healthiest you possible. You have made more changes to your body and health than anyone I have ever known! You COULD write a book, but remember, the last chapter (and many chapters in between) has not happened yet! You are in the middle of your story. This is a chapater you would not have written in, but you have the chance to say how it ends - how you deal with it. This does NOT cancel out all the good you have done, this does not change the fact that you are one of the most wonderful spirits I have ever "met". Is there a chance you can get yet another medical opinion? Sounds like this latest dr still wants to think about your case some more, too. Would you be in any medical danger to postpone the surgery for another, say, month or two? Has the first dr said what kind of result you will have from the surgery? I know he said no tennis, but what else can you expect to experience as far as mobility? No another note: I have read that folks who have lost a lot weight, like you, frequently have hypothermia - for awhile afterwards. Your body gets used to a certain amount of "insulation" and once that insulation is reduced it takes a long time for the internal thermostat to readjust. We could all probably use some vitamins it's hard for anyone to get all they need from food no matter what they eat. Praying for answers for you Katlin.

Em17 on 05/08/2011:
So sorry for your medical issues =(. Water exercise is fun =)

biscottibody59 on 05/08/2011:
RYC: you can call me names--just don't call me late for supper;-)

Congrats on your loss--glad you mentioned it!

I just saw a program on iridology--looked kinda interesting, but OUT THERE! However it's something that's been around a long time--so hmmmm.

You will work this out. You've been through a monumental change with the weight loss and everything that goes with it in such a short time. I have no idea what that's like. I'm not sure if you mentioned it, but if you don't need the surgery right away (as in an emergency), take as much time as you need to get as much information and find an experienced surgeon who can answer all your questions.

hollybelle on 05/08/2011:
Sorry I ask so many question, Kat. That is just my way of discussing any subject, I guess. I don't know what is normal, but you will work this out. It may not seem like it now, but I really believe you will be better, wiser, stronger for it all. Too bad we have to have trials (problems) to have that kind of personal growth, isn't it? See, there I go asking questions again! Love to you dear friend!

hollybelle on 05/08/2011:
And.....P.S. The Turbo is in the same group of dvds as V's they are Beach Body dvds, but she is on more advanced ones than me. They are like kick boxing classes. I do Turbo Jam, V does Turbo Fire - harder. You can check them out on line. I like them because although they do suggest some jumping on some moves, you can modify them to be very low impact but super intense energy inside the moves so you still get a good workout. I really sweat doing them and it takes a lot for me to sweat hard. You can check all the Beach Body dvds out on line - I think.

moogy on 05/08/2011:
I hope that you work out what makes you happy and that you work toward that goal. I trust that you are able to make good decisions and do what is right for you.:)

KathyBlue - Saturday May 07, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 174.3


Are you looking for additional support, motivation, and inspiration? Are you interested in getting to know us on a more personal level? If so, I have just the thing for you.  The Diet Diaries Facebook group is a completely secret group that allows members to be more involved with individuals by participating in challenges and ongoing discussions about mental and physical health (as well as some fun non-health topics).  Are you concerned about privacy? No worries, I created this group to be completely secret so your FB friends will NOT be able to see that you are a member of this group or the posts you leave on the group page. Its totally confidential! 

If you want to join, all you need is a Facebook account! Just send a message  to dietdiaries@ymail.com that includes your facebook page (go to your profile page and copy the web address that shows up in your browser into the email) and your DD name. Then, one of the three FB group administrators will answer your request with a FB friend request. Once you accept the friendship request, we will invite you to the group!  :) 

Hope to see you there!

Just checked FB: CONGRATULATIONS to Panda22 !!!!!!!!!!!!!  Logan is a handsome little baby, our second DD boy! We are so very lucky aunts! Now, who's coming up next with a girlie girl? 


Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on. ~Ed Howe

Good morning, Girlies!

I loved this quote - I know it's not related to diets and weight-loss, but it's sooo motivational to me!  It remembers me of Google where people work with swimming suits on, robes, slippers, etc. and they have pools, etc. available. I want to work in a place like that, but I'd love to work for LesMills (NZ).

Good news: LOOK AT MY WEIGHT. I'm so happy, I'm at my mini-goal. I wanted to reach 79 kgs, so, mentally in my seventy kilos, ready to visit my family and friends, yuuuupppeeeeyay!!! Biscotti, see, now I'm bragging about my achievement . I'm recovering.

Yesterday I had a nice dinner after a 15-min swimming + poweful hidroPower class combo! I ate mostly veggies, grilled and stir-fried with tikka-massala spices and a LF yogurt on top. I didn't eat the yogurt planned, I'm going to update my entry for yesterday, after having this one written.

I won't go to the stadium today, I decided yesterday. I want to have time to prepare for the medical appt. at 12h30 and I wouldn't be able to arrive in time if I'd go to the classes. I'd be able to participate on the Pilates class though, from 9h30 to 10h30, but then again, I prefer not to go, not to carry my entire equipement with me during the day. We talked and after the appt. we're going to walk a lot, we plan to see the second part of the book fair (YAY) and if the weather is nice we can walk more in the city, and some shopping maybe, because the fridge is screaming empty.

I'm confident of a food-wise weekend, too.

Have a good weekend, girlies!

BTW I'm slowly getting out of what they call "plus size clothes", which is an extremely comforting feeling as you know/imagne... :-) today I discovered that the brands I used to order online are available in the US, too. Check out their site: http://www.onestopplus.com/ . The other one is LaRedoute, a French company. The .com website will be available this summer, but there's one in the UK: http://www.laredoute.co.uk/ These guys have all the ranges: from very small sizes to very big ones.

I think I'm going to write a site feature after my menu listings every day, what do you think. :-) I hope you checked out yesterday's suggestion - the blog about the strugglings of an overweight girl, Kendra.

Progress as of today: 151.9 lbs lost so far, only 29.3 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 05/07/2011:
yay for workout, yay for good attitude, yay for getting out of plus sizes - yay for YOU, KathyBlue!

hollybelle on 05/07/2011:
P.S. I think it's a good idea to write a site feature. I can't always open and read, but others might be able to and I'm sure it's all interesting readingfor everyone because, after all, we have so much in common here.

greengirl on 05/07/2011:
Well done on getting out of the plus sized clothing !!

V on 05/07/2011:
:) Congrats Kat!!!! You are doing a STELLAR job!! WTG with no longer being a plus size...I can't wait to swap clothes with you ;) LOL love ya ;)

h82bfat on 05/07/2011:
Woo-Hoo!! Congrats to YOU!

tangalyn on 05/07/2011:
big congrats kathy :) xx

moogy on 05/07/2011:
Well done Kathy, you are wonderful. I hope you enjoy the book fair again. Whoo Hoo! at able to go into 'normal' shops and just choose any clothes, that is a huge achievement. So proud of you:)

KathyBlue - Friday May 06, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 174.3

Even a broken clock shows the correct time twice a day. So be positive.-- Anonymous

Good morning, Girlies!

I hope you have a good Friday. I'm better today. Yesterday I traded BodyPump for grilled chicken/oven fried chips/Fanta Zero and sweet treats at one of the hanging gardens of Lisbon, in good company (my lovely man, hehe). It was lovely. So, calories were higher so as stress levels. Today will be better, I'm cooler in the head. I decided not to "bury" the possibility of playing tennis in the future. "Never again" is a very strong expression, "forever" mustn't exist in its complete form anyway. Things are constantly in change, so ... hope dies last.

I'll let you know about tomorrow's doctor's appt. results ASAP, and if I go under the knife, I will ask my man to update you ASAP while I'm in the hospital. Don't worry, I don't.  Until then, I have VACATIONS and a trip to Hungary to see Mom and friends! YAY..

I had a conversation about the upcoming events with my tennis coach today morning, during the class. I told him I'd prefer playing tennis instead of training from Monday on. The university semester ends in July, I explained him that I had everything paid till July, but if the surgery would come along and I wouldn't be able to attend the classes/trainings for a month, and I'd need to see how to schedule my trainings from September,  ruling out - for now, - tennis.

Then, I had a very annoying individual yoga session, I didn't like the professor at all, but BodyBalance professor Catarina was absent and Bruno, the Pilates prof. substituted - I will have Pilates tomorrow anyway so I decided to try yoga instead... Bad decision, but well, I was seeing the opportunity of an individual session because none of the others appeared (wonder why, LOL).

I'm leaving work in an hour for Aquafitness (HidroPower). Tomorrow: I'll have to skip PowerDeep because of the doctor's appt.... GRRR... I'm planning attending Pilates and BodyPump though, and will have to rush, lightspeed, to meet man downtown... appt. is at half past midday... BodyPump ends at 11h30... uhh..

Today's menu:

06H00 - toast w/ soy margarine and tomatoes, LF milk w/ LF cocoa powder (400 kcal)

09H30 - an energy bar (100 kcal)

10H30 - LF milk w/ coffee (50 kcal)

12H30 - tomato soup, grilled chicken w/ cucumber (600 kcal)

16H00 - a small apple, a rice snack and LF milk w/ coffee (150 kcal)

17H00 - a LF yogurt natural, plain (50 kcal)

21H00 - mostly veggies, grilled and stir-fried with tikka-massala spices and a LF yogurt on top

Grand total: 1700 kcal

Friday read for you, Ladies. I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS!!!!!!! Bahhh...: http://www.kendrathroughthelookingglass.com/p/huh-i-didnt-expect-that.html


Progress as of today: 151.9 lbs lost so far, only 29.3 lbs to go!

YellowDress on 05/06/2011:
Happy to hear that you feel better!! And yes i agree with you and this words: "never say never!!";)Have a nice day Kat! Looking forward to hear from you or your man again:)

V on 05/06/2011:
Never say Never!!! I am prayin that your first diagnosis is WRONG!! Love you Kat

V on 05/06/2011:
Not only will I be Turboing, i will be teaching classes there :)

hollybelle on 05/06/2011:
You have an unsinkable spirit! I'm so glad to know you.

V on 05/06/2011:
Oh I totally agree about taking medications...I don't like any of it.I know exactly how you feel...Because of my injury I suffered through an ignored when I was a gymnast caused me to Never be able to run again, but I am happy I found turbo and lifting weights..WE have to find a suitalbe workout that will keep you happy and motivated...Maybe Turbo :) Boxing?

V on 05/06/2011:
Well I am starting with my sis and MOM first and then??? I want to get certified to teach Turbo once I complete all of the Advanced turbo classes...I also want to do the Insanity Asylum Program Too :) The regular Turbo classes are another 8 weeks and The Chalene Extreme Hybrid schedule is another 20 weeks so somewhere between the two challenges I am hoping to get certified by the end of this year :) Once i get certified, I can teach ANYWHERE :) I too am pondering my future in Florida :) I changed my bio page with all my goals there :) Oh i will send you a link to The asylum program in a few :)

V on 05/06/2011:

sweetpea1977 on 05/06/2011:
Glad you are in better spirits!

Good luck at your doctor's appt. xo

legcramps on 05/06/2011:
Love the quote!

moogy on 05/06/2011:
I am glad that you are feeling more positive today Kathy and also that you are trying to do things to keep yourself as strong as you can. Good for you, I think you are wonderful and I love you to bits:)

KathyBlue - Thursday May 05, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 179.2

Good morning, Girlies!


I don't have too much time to write. Great day yesterday, I bought ONE BOOK, for 3 euros. LOL...

Today is: busy day! Going to Dr's now (appt. at 11h40 am), to show the xrays. He'll tell me what to expect in the future, spine-wise... FEAR!

Then, I have meetings w/ clients in the afternoon. Hopefully I get the chance to have lunch in between.

Today's menu:

06H00 - same as yesterday (400 kcal)

10H00 - LF milk w/ coffee (50 kcal)

11H30 - an apple (50 kcal)

13H30 - tomato soup (50 kcal), an apple (100 kcal)

16H00 - LF milk w/ coffee, Depuralina and a slice of toast (150 kcal)

20H00 - grilled chicken, some oven-fried potatoes and 2 pastel de nata (dessert my man brought) (1000 kcal)

Grand total: 1800 kcal

After the medical appt.: surgery it is, on the 14th June, major spine surgery with full anaesthesiologia. 1 month recovery, no more tennis, period. This is the worst day of my life so far. I'm very confused now. Well, gotta go to a whole afternoon meeting w/ clients.

So, in details: I have hunchback, I was born like this, and it should have been treated a long time ago, in childhood. I'm 29 now, my spine is not that flexible, and the thing is, it will get worse. It's not a chance, it's not a possibility - it's 100% sure. By the time it gets worse, it affects my organs, there will be less space for them, it will create a new series of health problems. So, the solution is surgery. My spine needs to get straightened by a major surgery, they put me sleep. I have to go to the hospital 2 days before surgery, to get prepared, and then stay 5 days after surgery. Then, for the first two weeks, I can go for small walks, like to the nearby coffee shop, etc., and then after 4 weeks I can return to work. Tennis will not be an option anymore, though there is a slight chance (there were cases when a patient after 4 weeks returned to swimming competitions, but then, she was a 16-yr old kid), but it's not recommended because of the tortions of the body. It's known that tennis and badminton are not good for the dorsals. Swimming, aquafitness, pilates, yoga, etc. are all options though, even basket- and handball are! Seriously, I'm so unlucky with my passion towards tennis, at least in my conditions. My man booked an appt for an alternative doctor, for Saturday. She'll evaluate my case, just to get a second, alternative option... 

Funny thing is, I don't feel the emotional hunger, even in this moment of high stress. I feel kinda empty, I feel the heavy heart, because this huge decision had to be made by me, I'm the boss of my life and I can't quit and I can't let myself go for "second best". I want to live my life the fullest possible, and if this surgery is needed for such, then let it be. I can play tennis on Wii... (ok, this was ridiculous).

I won't go to BodyPump today, I will have dinner at the town garden with my man.

Progress as of today: 147 lbs lost so far, only 34.2 lbs to go!

YellowDress on 05/05/2011:
Good luck with the doc, I hope you hear good news! I really missed jam,especially my mum's apricot jam:( When the season of fresh apricot comes,i'll try to make some with sweetener:P

V on 05/05/2011:
Good luck at your appointment my love!! keep us posted :)

liza36 on 05/05/2011:
Wow, I'm sorry about the surgery news. Perhaps it's the best thing for you, and after the recovery, you'll feel even better. Hang in there!

V on 05/05/2011:
:( I am sorry...I am at a loss for words Kat :(

hollybelle on 05/05/2011:
So sorry Katlin. I didn't even know this was a possibility for you! No more tennis ever or just until after the surgery/recovery? One month recovery - 30 days....is doc then projecting "better than ever"? You will get through it, we are in full support of your complete recovery and restored spinal health. Sending prayers for this right now! <3 <3 <3

lifestylechange on 05/05/2011:
Hope all goes well for you today... Have a great day Kat! xo

~Moody~ on 05/05/2011:
I'm so sorry to hear about this~I know how much you truly love your tennis...But, your health is the most important here, thinking long term. I am hoping that when you are healed, you will find an activity that you love as much as tennis~Sounds like you have lots of options..Wish I knew what else to say~Sending you big hugs from West Virginia~

biscottibody59 on 05/05/2011:
I'll be thinking of you--I hope the surgery improves your life. Who really knows what you will/won't be able to do after the surgery. The good thing is that you're in excellent shape and must be a candidate for a very good outcome with this. I agree with getting a second opinion--kudos!

Saw your V comment, so I put a little explanation of Cinco de Mayo on the forum:-)

sweetpea1977 on 05/05/2011:
wow, I am so sorry Kat. I dont know what to say. Do keep us posted on what the second doctor says. Im keeping you in my thoughts.

Sending you lots of hugs and love. xoxo

YellowDress on 05/05/2011:
Really very sorry to hear about surgery but if the quality of your life will be better,tehere's no choice.Hope to hear from you after second doc. Much love...

hollybelle on 05/05/2011:
Thanks for sharing the additional details. I am glad to know this. Sorry to hear it. I am going to hope for you to have a full and complete recovery and that you will find another passion to replace tennis as soon as you are able. I also hope that there will be unexpected blessings to come as a result of this situation. Will await to hear second opinion from the next doc.

moogy on 05/05/2011:
I am sorry Kathy, that is such a lot to deal with. You must feel as if you have been hit by a sledgehammer. I dare say that it will take a little while for you to come to grips with what you have to deal with in the short term. We all love you and are here for you if you need to rave, rant or just express your feelings about what you are going through. Love you:)

KathyBlue - Wednesday May 04, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 179.2

Today's quote is for V - handle with care! :-)

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!- Anonymous

Good morning, Girlies!

I'm super exhausted - tennis was really hard today. Yesterday night's BodyPump hit hard on me again (as always, hehe), and my body is very tired now. I feel good, ready for an other day here at work. Me and my man have a special plan for tonight - I'm skippingHidroPower for an evening together at Lisbon's 81st Book Fair. We go there every year (since I've been here permanently), and we swear each year that we wouldn't spend money on books. I still have books to read, I still have books to re-read (oh yeah), so I don't really need any new ones - but I always leave the fair with some new titles. I hope we can handle this better this year, coz we really need to save as much money as possible.

Yesterday was an other food-wise day, two days in a row, and I feel today will be the same. I'm careful, laying low and taking it easy (no obsessing!) - and it works out! YAY! Thank you so much for the moral support.

Funny story: yesterday there were new faces on BodyPump. The class was so full the prof (Susana) had to refuse an entry of a person (she's an other prof., not a paying customer). Then, there was this huuuuge guy, with huge microphone hair (LOL) in front of me doing the exercises for the first time, therefore acting awkwardly with hands and legs all in wrong directions... and Susana was telling me to look up front, to keep my head higher, but when I looked up: all I was seeing was a butt, so ridiculous I was giggling and chuckling all the time. I'm soooo stupid, poor dude...!!! LOL...

Today's menu:

06H00 - two small toasts w/ light apricot jam, LF milk 350 kcal

10H00 - LF milk w/ coffee, Depuralina (a 100% natural fiber supplement) - 150 kcal

11H30 - a pear (100 kcal)

12H00 - tomato soup, dal curry w/ veggies (400 kcal)

16H00 - a little bread w/ LF milk w/ coffee (250 kcal)

19H30 - bio smoothie (150 kcal?)

21H30 - dal curry w/ veggies leftovers, a pear (300 kcal)

Grand total: 1700 kcal

BTW, Facebook and stuff: sweetpea posted a link to a blog yesterday, and I found an other community through this and joined: http://www.blogtolose.com/ . Wonder if it's any good, it looks confusing, and my profile is still waiting for approval. I just want to peek around others' territories... they won't ever know that beyond those fancy websites, there is one simple but highly effective and filled with compassionate people willing to fight for themselves and others - yes, I'm talking about DD! LOL.

Progress as of today: 147 lbs lost so far, only 34.2 lbs to go!

Umpqua on 05/04/2011:
I just read your comment that you're portioning out the stevia because you can't get it there. Email me your address at the Yahoo account and I can send some out to you when I return from my trip. I have a HUGE box of Truvia packets and I get them bulk at my wholesale club. I can also get you the stevia liquid drops if you prefer (we have them right at the grocery), let me know!

Umpqua on 05/04/2011:
Yep, the ymail address. I'll get a package out to you next week! I've seen coconut oil for sale here (for cooking) but it's super expensive. Olive oil is a staple in my house, my mother is Italian (well, her father was born in Italy) and her family used it in everything growing up, so I use it too. But it's not as common in the States, at least judging by my husband's family, who wouldn't think of using it. They're missing out!

hollybelle on 05/04/2011:
Well, I'd call that workout under extraordinary circumstances! How funny.

V on 05/04/2011:
LOL!!! Love the quote <3 haha Kat you crack me up ;) I am sure you burned alot of calories laughing at the guy in class ;) Love ya!!! Have a good day :P

Em17 on 05/04/2011:
That quote is soo true =). That is a very funny story I think haha

liza36 on 05/04/2011:
The book fair sounds fun, hope you have a good time. I laughed at the dude with microphone hair! Too funny. Have a great day.

~Moody~ on 05/04/2011:
LOLOL about the class last night and the guy in front of you..hahaha..Lucky YOU huh???!!!

The book fair sounds wonderful, I am an avid reader..So yeh, sounds like heaven to me!

Hope you have a wonderful evening with your man tonight!

moogy on 05/04/2011:
Books are a weakness of mine. I always seem to have books waiting to be read and I still want to read books I have already had one two or three reads of!!! Love them. I hope you have a good time at the book fair!!

KathyBlue - Tuesday May 03, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 179.2

Goodies, Girliiiies!

I'm foreseeing an other perfect day over here, right? Lots of effort, lots of sweating but then, huge amount of satisfaction and self-preservance.

I had an other emotional struggle yesterday night, after the hidroPower class. I was EXHAUSTED, my body was sending me signals. But this time, I made a major decision and I'm rather happy with it. Here's the scenario: Badminton. Mon-Wed-Fri, 9pm to 11pm. Arrival to home: around midnight. Tennis. Every weekday, from 7 am to 8 am. Leaving home: 6 am. So, how many hours do I have to rest? Normally, I get like 5 hours of sleep. I think this is not enough. I strongly think I reached the conclusion that my body was sending me signals, in the form of binges, to get this straight. You know, girls, I could count on one hand how many times I did enjoy badminton. On one hand, I enjoy the training part. On the other hand, I hate to play. I become very tired, all in a sudden, without enthusiasm, force, willpower. So - I made this decision of suspending the badminton trainings in May. I also go to Hungary so I'd need to skip some classes, so why shouldn't I just save the money, give my body some rest and study the results of my decision?! Let's see how it goes. I also stopped eating yogurts with aspartam, and stopped eating desserts at lunch. My dessert usually consisted of a fruit or a yogurt, but they are additional calories, and I can have the fruit as a snack some hours after lunch itself. It's better this way. I'm happy now!

Today's menu:

06H00 - a slice of toasted bread w/ LF milk w LF cocoa powder, LF soy margarine and some tomatoes (450 kcal)

09H00 - LF milk w/ coffee (50 kcal)

12H00 - tomato soup (50 kcal), dal curry w/ cucumber (300 kcal)

16H00 - an orange, some toasts (150 kcal)

19H00 - an energy bar before BodyPump (100 kcal)

21H30 - chicken tikka-massala, home made by my (500 kcal)

22H00 - two kiwis and a small banana (100 kcal)

Grand total: 1700 kcal

Progress as of today: 147 lbs lost so far, only 34.2 lbs to go!

thisisit on 05/03/2011:
Sounds good to me. Sometimes our bodies need to rest. As odd as this sounds, on some days, I lose more by not going to the gym. But that's not the same as playing badminton. I think that a bit of rest will do you good. As for the food choices, really good idea!

V on 05/03/2011:
Kat i love that you are listening to your body telling you what it needs :) As long as you are happy, that is all that truly matters :)

sweetpea1977 on 05/03/2011:
Oh my gosh! I'd be so worn out with that schedule! Yes, your body needs more rest with the level of physical activity you put it through. Im so glad you'll be giving your body a break with more sleep!

I also like your decision to give up artificially sweetened yogurt and desserts for lunch. Fruit is often my go-to snack in between meals. This works very well for me as it keeps my metabolism up and satisfied until my next main meal.

Yay! Im so happy that you found the solution to your recent binging issues. More sleep will definitely help calm your system down.

biscottibody59 on 05/03/2011:
RYC: for my activity--the usual plus some yardwork. We got a (rare as hen's teeth) cold snap--so I can't blame the weather:-)

Sleep--generally 6-8 hours nightly is what's recommended. Chronic sleep deprivation will cause wt gain--there have been quite a few studies proving so.

Aspartame is evil evil evil--at least for me--I think I included my horror story from a couple of years ago in a forum entry here. I had avoided it for years and just happened to consume some and the reaction I had was weird at the very least for a product that is ubiquitous here in the US.

There's an interesting/scary documentary called "Sweet Misery" accusing aspartame of all sorts of things. I think there's a book by the same name.

hollybelle on 05/03/2011:
Good plan. Gotta do what makes you happy - truly happy! I am trying to give up aspartame, too. Nothing but stevia for low cal sweetner if I can help it. I still have a few carb master yogurts that I don't want to waste, so once they are gone........Now, I'm confused - are you planning on replacing the badminton with something else? Maybe after vacation? Keep up your activity level, Kathy!

hollybelle on 05/03/2011:
Oh, wow, Kathy! I didn't realize - how did you even fit badminton in anyway!!

Maria7 on 05/03/2011:
Your before and after photos are really something! Congrats on doing real well getting to your goal weight. :-)

~Moody~ on 05/03/2011:
Wow, you have REALLY been pushing it. I think your plan sounds like a very good idea. See how you feel at the end of May~Wishing the very very best..hugs!

KathyBlue - Monday May 02, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 179.2

Are you looking for additional support, motivation, and inspiration? Are you interested in getting to know us on a more personal level? If so, I have just the thing for you.  The Diet Diaries Facebook group is a completely secret group that allows members to be more involved with individuals by participating in challenges and ongoing discussions about mental and physical health (as well as some fun non-health topics).  Are you concerned about privacy? No worries, I created this group to be completely secret so your FB friends will NOT be able to see that you are a member of this group or the posts you leave on the group page. Its totally confidential! 

If you want to join, all you need is a Facebook account! Just send a message  to dietdiaries@ymail.com that includes your facebook page (go to your profile page and copy the web address that shows up in your browser into the email) and your DD name. Then, one of the three FB group administrators will answer your request with a FB friend request. Once you accept the friendship request, we will invite you to the group!  :) 

Hope to see you there!

Reality check:  you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight.  At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems.  You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life.  Losing weight is not a cure for life.  ~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003

Good morning, Girlies!

 Yesterday was a terrible day. Everything went well til around 5 PM: I woke up, talked to my Mom on Skype, then took a shower and went to man's grandma's house to have lunch. I warned them that I wouldn't stay for dinner, I wanted to work and call my mom again in the afternoon/evening. And of course, I wanted to avoid desserts at all costs. So we arrived home (SIL and hubs gave us a ride home) and my man came up with the idea of dessert tasting. He baked on Saturday and he left a full cake in the oven, a strange but very nice mixture of egg-white leftovers, flour and sugar. So we tasted that, OK, very yummy. When they left, I made 2 milk shakes BECAUSE AGAIN I COULDN'T STOP AT THE FIRST!!!! GRRR... I made one with: 1 pear+1 apple + 1 banana + ice and some LF milk + cinnamon. Then the second one: 1 pear + 1 apple + 1 carrot + 1 banana + ice and some milk and cinnamon. HUGE DOSE of fruit, obviously overdosed. I went upstairs to call my mom, she wasn't online. I couldn't log in to work PC... so I went downstairs and started to watch TV. AND THEN... soup. I wanted to eat soup. In the meantime I ate some more dessert my man made, from the oven. Just some. Various helpings. Then, a bowl of soup... and then, a SECOND BOWL of soup. I had to stop because I felt that food would come out of my nose. I was nauseous, disgusted with food and myself... in the middle of this emotional struggle I recognized I was doing wrong! But I didn't do anything to put an end to it, to ease the pain... When my man arrived, I was on the sofa, lying on my back and could hardly move. My muscles were aching, my stomach was full, my entire body was in pain, my mind was all confused and upset... He told me to stop this, he told me he wouldn't want to see me like that, and that I was becoming completely obsessed and mentally ill because of the diet...

What should I do? Today is a day when everything works out fine again. Saturday was like that, too. I could stay inside calorie limits, just like today I am able, but who guarantees the same for tomorrow? It has to be me, no one else can guarantee such thing. I swore, again, that I wouldn't eat like this. I constantly remember of my bad food choices of the past, when I ate a full 6-pack ice cream at once without blinking the eye, and hamburgers at McDo's, pizzas, chocolate bars and all sorts of cookies, without counting calories or even thinking about the consequences. I've come so far, I don't want to be obsessed and don't want to have this strange binging behavior just to ruin everything I achieved so far!

It feels good to share this with you, girls. But the only person who can possibly help, who has the key in the hands is me... I'm all tied up but struggling very hard to get out of this emotional ditch.

By the way, the scale shows 178.5 lbs, so my weight remains but I still feel crap and I know if I continue like this, the scale will have no mercy.

I have to remind myself that: If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution. 

Have a nice week! 

Today's menu:

06H00 - slice of rye bread, toasted, w/ ham and cherry tomatoes, LF milk (400 kcal)

10H00 - a banana, LF milk w/ 20% coffee and some fiber soluble (200 kcal)

13H00 - codfish w/ chickpeas and LF milk w/ coffee (500 kcal)

17H00 - a bigger pear (100 kcal)

21H00 - dal w/ veggies (very hot curry, lol) - 300 kcal

Grand total: 1500 kcal

Exercise: HidroCycle (no tennis, courts were wet), BodyBalance. Later: HidroPower and badminton.

Progress as of today: 147 lbs lost so far, only 34.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 05/02/2011:
Don't sting anyone! "See" you later.

V on 05/02/2011:
Have a good day!!! :)

Hackersdiet on 05/02/2011:
What triggered it? Talking to your mom, seeing your grandma, the desserts, wanting to go to work? What were you thinking about most of the day that made you feel stressed and wanted to soothe yourself with food? By the way, I love your quote of "If hunger isn't the problem, Food isn't the answer" That is great! Well, put it behind you. You have come a long way, and a bad day doesn't take away any of your success. You are doing great today. Build on that. :)

Supercheese on 05/02/2011:
I totally agree! The only person who can help you is you! Today will be better cause you know you made a mistake. Im sure today you are doing wonderful with the food! stay strong!

lifestylechange on 05/02/2011:
LOVE LOVE LOVE that... "if hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution". How true is that! and SO inspiring! Have an awesome day!

biscottibody59 on 05/02/2011:
I wonder if your upcoming trip and the upheaval with your man's job hasn't triggered a little bit of homesickness. Also your previous entry about getting ahead in your career--that's a big one. You're still single and can take advantage of any great opportunity that comes along. You are important and worth it!

Hope today's better for you!

thisisit on 05/02/2011:
Seems like we were dealing with similar problems this past weekend. I don't know where it all is coming from but hang in there. Your willpower is strong enough to overcome the subconscious. Keep up the excellent work and hope that today and the rest of the week is better for you.

chidogs on 05/02/2011:
I believe that you can solve this. One day doesn't a disaster make. Your cheats are at least not loaded with fat and grease. And you maintain yourself well most of the time. Stress will make us run for comfort. I'm well aware of that! You will control it, as you are aware of it, and you understand yourself really well. Take care, and hugs.

~Moody~ on 05/02/2011:
Loved both the opening and closing quotes..thank you for sharing.

As for your binging..Relax..breath. You have come way too far, have learned way too much. This is a process, a journey..one that you have been on a very long time. You are not perfect, you will have slip ups..but you get back up, deal with what happened, and put it behind you. And you're right, who knows about tomorrow, that you won't do it again, but yanno what? Worry about tomorrow TOMORROW. Same thing, yesterday is past..gone..can't change what happened. So focus on TODAY. Today you were successful. Breath hon..you got this

V on 05/02/2011:
It seem that the closer that you come to your goal something in your brain is sabatoging it :( It is time to take a step back and figure out what is eating at you...I know you have this Kat!! Come on girl!!

KathyBlue - Sunday May 01, 2011
(Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.)
Weight: 179.2

ARGH, I've lost my entry when Firefox crashed.

OK, inhale, exhale... and write again!

Gooooood morning, Girlies!

Yesterday was quite an excellent day - except for the weather (rain, rain and... rain!). I went for my combo Pilates/HidroDeep/BodyBalance this time (BodyPump was held by an other prof so I opted for HD). Then I had a nice lunch at "Wok to Walk" with my man, whole pasta w/ veggies and soy sauce. It was great and I considered it healthy. Anyway, I had a food-wise day (1500 kcals max.), no desserts, no ice-cream (oh yeah) and no binging at night (triple yeeeah!). I worked all afternoon though, then we came home and my man did desserts for today's Mothers' Day at grandma's. I told him I wouldn't stay for dinner and I keep it. I want to avoid desserts, and I'm unable to refuse them, rather low on spirits nowadays so I guess it's better to be absent. Also, dinners have been unhealthy there for quite a long time. When grandpa was still alive, they made boiled fish, grilled meats, oven tenderloins... now grandpa's dead and money's short, they make deep-fried, or oven pastas with cheeses and lousy, greasy meats. Lunch is still something valueable though... and if not, I eat bread and salad. Whatever.

BTW I started looking for a job abroad. Wonder if my English is good enough to work in the UK or something. I want to spend 2-3 years abroad to gain some experience and to stabilize my financial background... right now it seems impossible here in Portugal.

Progress as of today: 147 lbs lost so far, only 34.2 lbs to go!

moogy on 05/01/2011:
I am sorry that you are feeling down but glad that you had a good healthy eating day. I would say that if your writing is anything to go by you would be able to get a job in the UK. Only some grammatical errors, maybe a short course to help in that area, if you could take some time away from exercise!!!!:)

Supercheese on 05/01/2011:
Im sure you can find a job in the uk! Yay for being good food wise, especially desert cause thats the hardest part for me.

V on 05/01/2011:
Brilliant idea Kat!!! I think that your English is just fine so no worries!! It is worth putting your feelers out there and YES go out and see the world :) Love you!!

h82bfat on 05/01/2011:
Good job on your resolve to stay away from the "bad food" situation. That's no easy task, especially when family is involved so Cudos to you!! I think your English is great - I wouldn't have known it wasn't your native language! Looks like you're taking control of your destiny in more ways than one!

mcwoo40 on 05/02/2011:
Hiya,Where would you go for work in the UK,London?It's the only place where the work seems to be :/Look on the job centre website to give you an idea where the work is,i think you type in the area where you want to work,good luck with that :)

[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 Next Page ]