I did quit Weight Watchers.  I'm going to use the $40 in a different, productive way, and use all the knowledge I have to try once again to go on my own.  It's a relief to not have to count points.  I'm going to work on portion control, and getting in more fruit and veggies.

I also realize that it's hard for me to go cold turkey on the no eating out rule I set up for myself this week.  I'm going to set smaller, more attainable goals, and hopefully then I won't be so disappointed in myself.  For now, the goal will be to eat out no more than twice a week.  That's 5 days cooking at home, which will be an accomplishment for me.  Seriously, the eating out thing has gotten out of control where I have been eating out about 5-6 times a week.  Crazy, huh.  I need to quit spending that kind of money too!  It's not like I have tons of that either.

Have a good day, friends.

Thank you so much for the nice welcome back.  I know I'm among old and new friends here.

I woke up a bit in a funk today.  I'm getting over a cold, haven't slept well for several days, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.  I'm still comtemplating stopping weight watchers and putting that $40 to better use.  In some ways it will be liberating to not count points for everything.  I have never counted calories and would have to learn the calories for the foods I eat.  But I know many of you do it and it 's a good gauge of how you are doing.  I have a calorie book, so I may pull that out today.

One of my biggest struggles is eating out or picking up food to eat at home.  Darn those curbside-takeout places!  I don't enjoy cooking, find it hard to cook for one, and I'm not a big fan of leftovers when I do cook.  Eating out or running through a drive thru has been so easy to do.  But I realize that it has been detrimental to my weight and lifestyle, and desperately want to kick the habit.  I know it's going to have to be a change in my mentality, because even the thought of chopping, microwaving, the easiest of dishes after a long drive home from work is very unappealing to me.  I just have to get over it, and start cooking, stop eating out!

Goal #1 for this week - no eating out for dinner, plan easy, healthy meals at home.  This starts today (ate out last night!).  A bowl of cereal doesn't count.  That is my go-to meal all the time.

It has been about one year since I last posted, but I read DD most days and have enjoyed reading about your successes and your struggles and how you have dealt with them.  Boy, have I continued to have my struggles, and wonder if I will ever lose weight.

Last year I hit my all-time highest weight of 224.  Part of it was shear indulgence and not caring about what I ate.  No exercise - I have had back problems for several years, and it has gotten progessively worse.  My excess weight does not help the problem.  I have been on and off Weight Watchers for several years, currently back on for the last 6 months, but not doing too well - have only lost a few pounds where I should be farther along than I am.

Last September and October I went to physical therapy for my back, and it did some good, but long term I'm still in the same boat.  A doctor suggested I have gastic bypass or the lap band - I cried that day because I'm not ready for those drastic type of measures.  Last Sept. I also saw a nutritional counselor to help me figure out why if I know so much about good eating habits and exercise, what is the disconnect in putting it into practice on a consistent basis.  I did that for a few months, but it was too expensive and I felt I was not getting anywhere.  The counselor said most of the work is in the "discovering why" we do things and that I was in the learning phase.  But I was getting frustrated and thought I could go back out on my own.  That's when I started Weight Watchers again.  I've started the program so many times I've lost count, and truly believe in the program, if you follow the program.  I have just had a hard time sticking to the program.

About 2 months ago one of the WW meetings was about having a buddy system, and I have felt like I'm doing this alone, which I voiced in the meeting - what do you do if you don't have the support of family or friends.  Two women came up to me after and said that they would love to form a buddy system, and check in each day or week by email, and we'd see each other at our Saturday weigh-in.  Well, they seem to have dropped off.  One lady I have not seen again, and she has not emailed regularly, and the other has emailed, but said that within the next few months she and her husband were going to try to have another baby, and she would be stopping WW.  If I did not initiate the email correspondence, then I heard from noone.  I understand that buddies come and go on these journies, I just didn't expect it to peter out so soon.  I was also tired of always being the one checking in with them, and not the other way around.  That's how it's always seemed to go - I am there to support others, but I don't get the same in return. It can be exhausting.

That last few days I've been thinking of stopping WW again too, and saving the $40/month.  I haven't decided what to do yet about that.  I love the WW leader and the meetings, but that's about it.  I have all the material, I have all the knowledge, I've done this a million times, I technically know what to do.  Don't know if I want to continue to spend $40 a month.

So here I am again.  I have felt like a broken record so many times, and have felt like I should not be giving advice or feedback, when I don't do it myself.  But I'm hoping you all will understand, and I'm hoping for the support here that I didn't get with my Weight Watcher buddies.

Taking one day at a time...

Still having difficulty getting in any form of exercise.  Hasn't happened at all this week so far.  My days and evenings are jam packed each day, and so I am giving myself leeway until Saturday.  I will definitely pick it up then.

I am having tremendous problems with my back, and I really should see a doctor or chiropractor.  It would help with exercise if I wasn't in pain after 10 minutes.

I'm trying to stick to my food plan, but the nighttime snacking is a real problem.  Lately it's been 1 or 2 large bowls of cereal.  It's pretty tough to break the habit.

On a good note, I loved working from home yesterday.  It was so nice not to have to deal with the long commute, especially since it was raining all day.

Weekend exercise didn't happen.  I can't stand that my life is too full of "stuff" that I can't cut out, and the one thing that is cut out is caring for myself by exercising.  You would think 30 minutes is do-able, but seems impossible!  I do like WI's suggestion to break it up in 10 min. increments.  I'll have to try that.

Starting tomorrow, I get to work from home one day a week.  I am going to LOVE it, and it will save so much in gas and time.  My daily commute it 1 1/2 hours each way, and to spend 3 hours in the car drives me nuts.  Tuesdays will definitely be an exercise day since I can wake up at the usual early time, and spend it exercising instead of in the car.  I think I will feel so much better about myself if I can just get a little "me" time by exercising.

I planned my menus for the week, and will focus on portion control at first, and watching nighttime snacking.

Today:

in car - light string cheese

breakfast at work - light vanilla yogurt, fresh blueberries, spoonful of granola

lunch - left over rice with beef curry, diet coke

dinner - scrambled eggs

dessert - fresh strawberries

Thank you all for the wonderfully supportive comments, I really appreciate it!

The last few days have been terrible on the diet front.  Donuts, pizza, ice cream, need I say more.  I was out of town for 2 days and these are the things I chose to eat.  I'm getting to the point where I am now craving something fresh - salad or fruit.  I will need to go grocery shopping this weekend to stock up.

I have an overly busy weekend but I'm hoping to get in 30 minutes of exercise on Saturday and Sunday.  That is my goal.  Hopefully I'll have good news to report on Monday that I achieved this mini goal.

I have put my weightloss efforts on the back burner for a while, while still paying for weight watcher meetings until recently, and look where that gets me.  I'm back up near my all time highest weight (highest was 211 - right around the time I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism last September).  

It's all of the typical excuses - work, stress, feeling overwhelmed alot, not making myself a priority, stress - did I mention that one already?  I just can't seem to get my act together, even though I know what good, healthy habits are.  I can do it for a brief period, but always fall off the wagon.  When will it finally click?  When will it become a habit? 

My "all or nothing" attitude is strongly ingrained, and is hard to change.  While I recognize that small changes, one step at a time, is beneficial, it's difficult not to jump in full force and instantly eat right, exercise every day, make better choices.  But I then become overwhelmed, and actually set myself up for failure.  Mind you, I recognize this, but it's hard to change.

Just as WI_HashiHypo is going through it right now, hypothyroidism is really tough.  While I would say that medication has helped regulate my thyroid, I'm within normal ranges, it affects so many parts of the body and brain.

I have stopped Weight Watchers as well.  The meetings were really good, I had a good leader, but it only works if you put what you learn into practice.  I was not being consistent enough about it, and finances are always something I have to watch closely, so I could not justify paying $40 a month if I was not following the plan.  For a few months, I ate with abandon, eating all the Easter chocolate, having cake at all the office parties, eating out almost every day (despite needing to watch money), McDonalds became my best friend again, and zero exercise.

I know what I was doing to myself.  I feel like crap, by back hurts, I get winded going up stairs, none of my clothes fit.  I must take control back. 

Stayed the same for my weigh in on Saturday morning. I knew that it was not going to be good, but staying the same is much better than gaining. I almost didn't go, but figured I needed to see the damage done. I just can't get consistent! I have a few good days, and it can all be undone in an instant.

I decided to plan meals for this week, since I'm in for another very busy week working late most nights. I made lentil soup with turkey italian sausage for my lunches, and a polenta and vegetable casserole for dinners. Breakfast will be whatever I have on hand - yogurt, fruit, oatmeal, that type of thing. I'm hoping this strategy will keep me from eating out.

I'm gearing up for our big annual meeting at the end of this month. It's the most intense month and meeting for the whole year, so I'm a little stressed and sleep deprived. I'll make it through, I just have to maintain my sanity, and try not to revert to stress eating. Honestly, if I can at least maintain my weight for the next few weeks, that will be great. It sucks that for the next 3 weeks weight loss has to take a back seat. Do you guys ever do that - have to focus on something else besides weight loss? I feel like I should be able to do both, but it's a little overwhelming at the moment.

Have a great Monday, friends.

I lost 2.2 pounds last week. Felt good after the weigh in. The weekend was good but busy. I ate too much, but always tend to do that over the weekend. Saturday was just a "hungry" day. I would have been fine, but ended up giving in to my hunger, and ate twice the amount of spaghetti and garlic bread than was necessary. I went out with friends Saturday night, and after the movie we went to a restaurant for dessert. I just had a cup of hot chocolate rather than the rich crepes, milkshakes, cheesecake that everyone else was having. Hot chocolate is still high in calories, but compared to the alternative, I felt ok about my choice.

I had my family over on Sunday for dinner, and I made a weight watchers recipe called Taco Bake. Very easy and pretty good. My mother brought the dessert - 2 different things - my grandmother's famous lemon pudding, and chocolate pumpkin bread with cream cheese frosting. I did have both desserts, they were very delicious. Thank goodness for WW extra 35 points, because I used them all up over the weekend and I think even a little more. I will have to be extra good the rest of the week.

So far today, I've resisted the staff meeting pastries. They also had yogurt, but after reading the label that it was 120 calories, no fiber, can't remember what the fat was, I have my own fat free yogurt for less calories. For lunch I have left over taco bake and carrot and celery sticks with light dressing for dipping. The staff will be celebrating October birthdays, of which I am part of that group, with an ice cream cake this afternoon. I really want to resist it, especially after the decadent desserts from yesterday, but it's to partly celebrate my birthday. How do I get out of that?

This week will be late nights every night. I just hope for the energy to get through the week with my eating under control. Stress eating gets the best of me sometimes. I have to forget exercise for the moment, and be ok with it. I've gone months without exercising, and can't beat myself up about that one. It will be November before I can realistically get back to it. I know you all will tell me I have 30 minutes here or there, but getting up at 5:30 am, going to work, not getting home until 10 pm, in bed by 11-11:30 pm, I physically can't do any more than I'm doing. The only consolation is that I have been taking the stairs at work more than the elevator. So my concentration is combating stress eating, and avoiding the candy bowls which seem to be everywhere!

Thank you to all for the encouragement. It helps alot!

Yesterday was a decent day. I still had some of the chocolate from the candy bowl, but it was much more controlled than the previous 2 days. I ate the cherry oatmeal, which did seem to keep me full for a few hours. I then grilled a piece of chicken for lunch, and that kept me full all afternoon. Dinner was a Lean Cuisine, and while I was full, I caved and had a bowl of mini frosted wheats with milk. Cereal is like dessert to me. I love cereal, and will only buy it occasionally because I could eat it for all 3 meals. There's a big convenience factor with cereal too. So I went over my points by 6 yesterday, but compared to how I have been doing, this is not too bad. Could be better, but I'm not beating myself up about it. The scale this morning noted a slight decrease, but I won't get my hopes up too high for the official weigh in on Saturday.

Today, here is my plan:

breakfast: cherry oatmeal, FF milk

snack: hot chocolate (another one of my vices! It's finally a cool autumn day, and it just seems appropriate.)

lunch: lean cuisine, mandarin oranges

dinner: progresso light vegetable soup, asparagus added to the soup, grilled cheese sandwich made with high fiber bread and FF cheese

snack: only if needed, FF yoplait yogurt or a WW orange creme smoothie

Have a great day friends.