- Sunday Jan 02, 2005
Okay, I'm not off to a very good start this New Year. I actually saw 115 when I first woke up this morning. It could be sodium retention from my dinner last night (dim sum), but maybe it's not. I really was hoping not to see the number on the scale go up because I don't feel like I deserve it.
I did eat out last night, but I didn't overdo it by any means, and I ate well all day long. I've been avoiding the candy and sweets and getting plenty of exercise. So why is it that during the Christmas holidays I actually LOST a pound (while eating plenty of goodies), but when I come home and start being disciplined, I GAIN a pound?
I will never understand my body. It is so strange. Sometimes I just want to throw the scale out the window, but I can't. I'm so used to weighing myself daily, that I just take the fluctuations as they come, but sometimes (like today), I get more frustrated because I wonder if I will ever be able to enjoy a meal out without instantly "gaining" a pound overnight.
- Friday Dec 31, 2004
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Since I'm 12 hours ahead of most of you, it's already New Year's Day...10am in the morning, to be exact! And the rest of you are probably up ringing in the new year!
I was pretty bummed to be back to 114 this morning...I was so hoping to see 112.5 for January 1! Well, I snacked too much yesterday and indulged in too many goodies, so I shouldn't be surprised. Funny how I was so disciplined for the week that I was away and then went right back to old habits as soon as I got home! Well, it's a new year, and I plan to start it off right. Time to get back on track! Even one day with no discipline in my eating can wreck havoc on my weight maintenance.
Have any of you ever tried a Stroopwafle? A friend who visited the Netherlands gave me some...they are basically a buttery-waffle cookie with carmel in the middle. Warmed up, they are absolutely heavenly. Since Wednesday night, I've eaten 5 of them. I have one left in my fridge that I will probably eat today, and then I won't be tempted by them anymore. They are way too good, but probably very high in calories. The nutrition data isn't listed on the package, but they taste way too good to be low-cal.
- Thursday Dec 30, 2004
Well, I actually LOST 1/2 a pound....according to my scale! I'm back to 113. Yea! I hope that I can get back to 112.5 now. I love being at 112.5. That makes me feel great! But one day at a time...I know how long it takes to lose 1/2 a pound, especially since I have a hard time cutting out my "treats" and "snacks."
The main thing is that I didn't GAIN weight over Christmas break. Saying "no" to those extra treats was totally worth it! It really was! I don't regret not having seconds...nothing tastes as good as being thin feels! Now if I can just resist those chocolates in the freezer...
- Thursday Dec 30, 2004
I'm back home! It's been a full week since I've weighed myself on MY scale...so tomorrow morning will be THE DAY...I'll keep you posted! I think I did very well, except for today. I was taken out for lunch and didn't have much control over the food I was served. To make matters worse, I've just been HUNGRY all day. So as I finish my sugar-free chocolate pudding with some peanut butter mixed in, I'm hoping the extra calories I've consumed in the last 8 hours don't wreck havoc on the scale tomorrow.
- Tuesday Dec 28, 2004
Well, aside from a big (but healthy) meal last night, the last couple of days have been fairly easy, as I've been able to plan my own meals. So I'm still "on the road," but I'm doing okay. I managed to work out in a weight room tonight and my weight at 8:00pm was 116 pounds. That's normal. I'm usually between 116-117 at nighttime and down to 114 or so by morning. So hopefully I haven't GAINED anything.
Anyway, weight is so trivial when I consider the fact that 30,000 people have lost their lives here in Asia. I don't know if the news in the U.S. is covering the tsunamis, but it's non-stop here. And I knew people who were there...who managed to escape. It's so scary! What a catastrophe. It makes my weight worries seem unbelivably insignificant!
- Sunday Dec 26, 2004
Going on four days without my scale...so scary! Each day, I've had at least one BIG meal...and although I've done my best not to overeat, it's still been hard not to consume more calories than I usually do. One day of that kind of eating normally doesn't hurt me, but when I start eating an excess of calories over a period of several days, then I'm guaranteed a weight gain!
So I wish I had my scale around. It keeps me accountable. It keeps me honest. It keeps me sane!
Four more days on the road...can I handle it? I hope so!
- Friday Dec 24, 2004
Still no idea on my weight...but it's probably better that way.
Today was okay, but it was still more than I would normally eat. I got a 50-minute run in before breakfast, and managed to eat my normal breakfast. Lunch was a very big ham dinner. My only indulgences were the sweet potatoes and a piece of pumpkin pie. I gave my hubby the crust when no one was looking. Otherwise, I mainly ate salad, veggies, and two pieces of ham.
Dinner was harder...my host had very good pumpkin bread that was so moist I was sure it was loaded with oil. When I asked for her recipe (to see if my intuition was correct), I saw that one loaf requires 1/2 cup of oil. Yikes! That's almost 1000 calories alone! And THAT, my dear dieters, is why I use applesauce instead of oil! Or I just don't make bread at all!
Ah, well. I'm surviving. If I can pass up the snacks before bedtime, I'll be okay for today. I hope! Without a scale, I just never know!
- Thursday Dec 23, 2004
I don't know why I bothered to type the 1/2 pound loss, as it will be back to 114 or higher tomorrow morning, but I was pleased to see that number for a short time anyway.
Today I faced the biggest temptation of the season: The Staff Christmas Party. Living in Asia, it is very hard to find good American food...but we had it today in abundance! IN addition to the mashed potatoes (which I avoided), all kinds of meat, rolls (which I also skipped), and a large variety of desserts, they had a great selection of sushi! So instead of filling up a plate with hot food, I opted for some great sushi, including pepper-crusted tuna. Yum! I also tried some nice salads and had only a bite or two of actual hot food.
So I was pleased with my eating there. And even though I splurged and enjoyed some cake and cheesecake and ice cream for dessert, I limited my portions to not more than 1/2 a piece of cake and only 1 scoop of ice cream. Last year, I pigged out at this event and felt sick afterwards. This year, I managed to walk away satisfied, but not feeling too guilty.
It would have been very hard to pass up those desserts completely, and since they're such a treat, I allowed myself the indulgence. The only bummer is that I can't really eat my own dinner, as we are now guests at a home and I'm subjected to whatever my host makes for dinner.
I'll be on the road for a week. This will be hard. But I can do it! I gain inspiration from many of you who also face food temptations every day. My biggest challenge is simply not to overeat. Not to take seconds and thirds. Just to eat until I'm satisfied and to eat slowly. I can do this. I will do this! I will NOT gain 5 pounds over the holidays. The food just isn't worth it!
Borntocry, we do miss you! We're eagerly awaiting your return! :)
- Tuesday Dec 21, 2004
Well, my weight stayed the same today, even after the fudge incident. It shouldn't have done too much damage, as I had about 2 hours of exercise yesterday. You'd think I could afford to eat a few pieces of fudge, but I really can't. Those extra calories add up so quickly!
Tonight I have a Christmas party. Since I'm partly in charge of the food, I have to make smart choices on what to bring. I'm going to Costco soon to buy some desserts since they do a good job and I don't have the discipline to bake them myself at the moment. I really, really want to try their caramel apple pie, but I'm not going to buy it. If the Chinese don't like it, I'll end up eating most of it.
So I'm going to buy something that I normally don't enjoy so I don't end up overeating. My life will go on if I never eat a piece of that tempting caramel apple pie. And I sure don't need the extra calories right now! I have a week "on the road" ahead of me and I need as much discipline now as I've ever needed!
- Tuesday Dec 21, 2004
I come today hanging my head in shame. I waited until tonight to write an entry, and I thought about skipping it completely...but I can't. This journal is for failures as well as successes, and part of the reason I've kept the weight off for 6 years is because I've been honest about my failures.
I just ate probably 700 calories of fudge. Fudge that I made. Fudge that was supposed to be a gift for other people. But my sweet tooth took over and I just started eating it. Honestly, I don't know how I can eat so many sweets in one sitting. I felt the "binge monster" start to take over and had to get out of the kitchen before I got too out-of-control.
That is why I cannot bake goodies that I like so much. Because it's almost always a disaster for me. And I had done SO well up to this point. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were good and healthy...and then I lose it at 8:30pm while I'm "cutting up the fudge" for other people. Yeah, right. I was cutting it up so I could sample it...more than once, that's for sure!
I know that most people don't even want to report in to their Diet Diary during the Christmas season, but I just can't stop for two weeks and allow myself to "go wild." I have learned the hard way that I have to stay disciplined. I have to! I can treat myself to things, but I CAN'T start baking those trigger foods!
Like Becca, I just need to give up sugar completely. Man, it would be so hard, but I'm sure my body would thank me for it every day!