- Sunday Nov 14, 2004
I should have updated my entries this weekend. I was actually 112 on both Saturday and Sunday, amazingly! I even ate out Friday night at a Thai restaurant, but my weight was down.
Unfortunately, my streak ended this morning, and my day has been off to a rough start. I baked last night, and I shouldn't have, because I know that I consumed extra calories...how many hundred, I don't know. There were a few too many "licks" and "bites," though! But I didn't snack all day, and I got plenty of exercise, so I was quite surprised to be up almost 2 pounds this morning! Yikes! I felt awfully bloated, too. I hate that feeling!
And then, to make matters worse, I did something I rarely, rarely do. I skipped my healthy breakfast to eat two chocolate-banana bars that I'd made last night. I had brought them in to work to share with my co-workers, but I put them out before I had taken time to eat my normal breakfast, and I just gave in to the temptation to eat two of them because they looked so good! After that, I couldn't bring myself to eat my cereal. I don't need another 300 calories! I'm already over my limit for the morning.
Ugh! The rest of the day will be better. I'm determined to get back on track.
If I can make it through 2 more meals out this week, I'll be okay...strangely enough, though, I usually "gain" weight after eating at home, not after eating out! At least that's been my trend lately.
On another note, I had to get something minor checked out yesterday at the hospital, and the Chinese staff couldn't believe how low my heart rate is. I have a resting heart rate of about 40, which is quite low. The average resting heart rate of a woman is about 75 beats per minute. So the Chinese hooked me up to some sort of machine to monitor my heart rate...my husband kept trying to tell them that my heart rate is always low, due to my excessive exercising! It was pretty funny!
- Thursday Nov 11, 2004
I found a good strategy for those days when I have a large meal at lunchtime...like yesterday.
I didn't eat again until later that night, and I only had a few veggies and some cottage cheese to "tide me over." Then I waited until I was really hungry again to eat. Around 10:00pm, I was hungry! So I had a bowl of cereal and went to bed. I woke up back at 113!
I don't feel like I deserve it, but in a way, I do. Because I only ate about 500 calories after lunchtime, plus I got in 2 good workouts. So that Japanese buffet lunch hopefully didn't do much damage.
In the past, I would have still eaten a big dinner and probably a snack before bed. But I'm learning to listen to my body. If I eat too much at one meal, then I should just wait until I'm hungry again to eat. It's hard to wait after getting in a habit of eating every few hours. And I do prefer to eat small meals every 3-4 hours. But sometimes I don't have a choice. So I'm learning that my "dinner" doesn't have to be the type of dinner I ate growing up...all those habits I established as a kid are hard to break!
What I'm learning:
I do NOT need to be a member of the clean-your-plate-club.
I do NOT need to eat a balance of carbs, protein, or fat with EVERY meal.
I do NOT need to continue to eat unhealthy the rest of the day if I "blow it" at one meal.
I do NOT need to feel guilty for occasional indulgences, like all-you-can-eat-buffets, especially when I make smart choices about what to eat.
But on the same hand, I do NOT need to feel like I have to "eat" my money's worth! I can go to a buffet and NOT try every dish!
And last but not least, I do NOT have to eat something that I do not want to eat. No one should try to force food down my throat. I am mature enough to decide for myself what to eat, and if I don't want another slice of cheesecake, I don't HAVE to eat it!
I feel empowered! :)
- Wednesday Nov 10, 2004
Yesterday I didn't have time to write, but my weight was down to 112.5. I thought that with my parents here, I would have a really rough week, food-wise, but I didn't. I think it's partly due to the fact that they came here instead of me going to the States. There are far less temptating foods here, and I didn't snack as much with them around.
But last night, I met with some ladies, and I overdid it on carmel corn, fruit, and some banana bars. I also had some apple pie during the day, so I wasn't surprised to see myself up a pound today. I think I may be treated to lunch today, so that's making me a bit nervous. Meals out always make me nervous, although I usually manage to do okay. It all depends, though...if there are "trigger" foods there, and I happen to be very hungry, it could be a caloric nightmare.
But I filled myself up on hardboiled egg whites and high-fiber cereal this morning, so I hope that tides me over so I don't feel like overeating at lunchtime.
Well, the lunch ended up being much harder than I anticipated. My host took me to an all-you-can eat Japanese buffet at a ritzy hotel. I LOVE Japanese food...I mean, sushi and sashimi are right up my alley! But buffets are killers...who can resist trying all the various dishes? Even though I stayed away from the tempura and other fried food, I still indulged...and I had some bites of cheesecake and Haagen-Daaz ice cream (which is sooo highly caloric) to top it all off. I'm sure my 10 bites or so of dessert equaled 500 calories at least.
(Did you know that a 1/2 cup of chocolate Haagen-Daaz ice cream is 18 grams of fat and 270 calories? That's terrible! What am I eating? Pure cream??)
So, although I tried my best not to overeat, I ate far more than I usually do for lunch. And even though I enjoyed the food, I feel guilty now...you know the feeling...that "why-did-I-go-back-for-thirds" feeling...as if eating one more sushi roll is going to make me happier. As if I've never had cheesecake before, so I'd better make sure I eat a piece.
Okay. Tomorrow is a new day. But my last week here (before I move to another part of the island) is full of food and parties. I doubt I'll see 112.5 again for awhile...
- Monday Nov 08, 2004
Well, my vacation plans ended up changing...but I've still managed to stay fairly in control of the meals, and my weight has only fluctuated within a 1/2 pound. When I was running this morning, though, I just felt weary. Honestly, I don't know why I try sometimes...I read Borntocry's last entry, and I can empathize with her. I work so hard to maintain my weight, and sometimes I just don't want to do it.
My mom has been thin all her life and she's never had to work at it. She doesn't pig out, but she eats whatever sounds good at the moment. I think her portion sizes are smaller than most, but I still can't bring myself to eat like she does. But I often wish that I didn't have to think about everything that I put in my mouth. And even though I LOVE to exercise, my body gets tired, too.
Ah, well. I'm not complaining, only airing some of my thoughts this morning. I guess when it's all said and done, having a perfect body isn't that important. But I'm also aiming to achieve overall wellness...and to stay healthy. I just hope all my hard work pays off thirty years from now!
- Friday Nov 05, 2004
I love Saturdays! My weight was down 1 1/2 pounds from yesterday..and though it will only last a day, I'll take it!
The buffet last night went better than anticipated. I ended up splitting a salmon dish with my mom (I usually order a full entree for myself), and I went easy on the salad bar/ dessert bar. Plus, I ate well the rest of the day. So I was pleasantly surprised to see my usual weight for a Saturday morning.
We're traveling the next few days, so that always takes extra foresight and planning. I have to pack along my "travel snacks" and make sure I have some powdered milk, etc. I refuse to fall into the trap of being unprepared, especially in a foreign country! I do NOT like being at the mercy of someone else and having to eat things that I normally would shun. So I do extra planning, but it's worth it. I rarely come back from vacations with a weight gain.
- Thursday Nov 04, 2004
Thank you all for your encouraging comments. It's so nice to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with eating out at buffets, not bingeing on sweets, and has daily scale fluctuations.
I'm a good 1 1/2 pounds heavier today than I was last Friday. That stinks. I have hardly baked all week and have really eaten well, but meals out are ALWAYS more calories, and my body can't handle it. The meal last night was good--- pork, potatoes, veggies, fruit. I skipped the bread and only had a very small portion of potatoes. But my weight was still up. Maybe it was the Cantonese lunch. I just can't win!
So I got my 52-minute run in this morning and I ate a later breakfast than normal so I can eat a later lunch and hopefully avoid needing an afternoon snack. Tonight is the buffet dinner, and I need to be careful. The fact that my weight is up will help me stay more disciplined, I think. That's one reason I weight myself every day...otherwise, I get lazy.
- Thursday Nov 04, 2004
My parents have finally arrived...they traveled all the way from the U.S. and things are going well so far. We were taken out to lunch today to a fancy Cantonese place. I managed to eat mainly shrimp and vegetables. Although it was a bit oily, it was better than usual. And everything tasted good. I'm learning how to enjoy one or two pieces of something rather than 5 or 6 pieces. I have to tell myself that having 6 bites won't make me any happier than 2 bites. I don't know why my brain tends to think that the more I eat, the happier I'll be. On the contrary, the more I eat, the guiltier I feel.
So I think I did okay. Instead of eating all of my coconut milk-mango dessert (which was actually delicious), I ate 3 or 4 small bites and gave the rest to my husband. Two hours later, I could care less that I didn't eat the whole thing.
It's amazing how much of the diet process is completely mental. If I can just talk myself out of the lie that junk food and candy will make me feel happy, then I'll continue to make progress. Because even though chocolate creates a temporary "high," my joy should NOT come from food. Yes, I still enjoy desserts. Yes, I still love to bake. Yes, I'll always like sweets. But NO, I will not believe that eating more than my body needs is somehow good for me.
I just gave myself a pep talk for the day. I needed that, since I'm eating out again tonight! I need incredible discipline this next week, as we'll be eating out at least once a day. And at least a couple of those restaurants will be buffets...which are very hard for me.
I've been maintaining a low weight for 6 years, and I STILL have trouble with buffets. It will be a lifelong struggle, I know. But I am encouraged by many of you who are also committed to staying disciplined...and healthy.
- Monday Nov 01, 2004
For those of you who ate too much sugar this weekend (like myself), there is an excellent column titled, "On the Sugar Wagon."
Read the column and know that you're not alone! ************************************************************ I resisted the urges to eat junk yesterday and finished the day at around 1700 calories, I think. Not bad, considering I ran 9 km in the morning and walked for 40 minutes after work. I also lifted weights. So I was pleased to see a slight dip in the scale, although it could be due to a lighter snack before bed.
If there's one thing I've learned in this whole process, it's that discipline is so important. As soon as I get off track, my weight starts to climb up again. The less I weigh, the more I need to get disciplined. Because my body needs less calories than it did when I weighed 150 pounds.
Many of you have commented on things that you're thankful for, and I'll do that, too. What a great idea! 1. I'm thankful that I'm alive! God has blessed me with a strong body, good health, a wonderful husband and family. 2. I'm thankful for the experience to live overseas, even if I have frustrating days or crazy cultural experiences. It sure keeps life interesting! 3. I'm thankful for small things, like cottage cheese, sunshine, and a good book to read. 4. And I'm thankful for this website, which has been a really important part of my "weight loss process" for almost two years.
Now, if CurlsnCuffs would come back, I'd be even more thankful! :) I wonder how she's doing! Curls, if you're out there, update us! :)
- Monday Nov 01, 2004
I didn't want to post today, because I'm discouraged at being up to 114, which I haven't been at for about 2 weeks. Yes, it may just be a fluctuation...but I'm a good pound and a half heavier than I was on Saturday, and I probably deserve it. I just can't indulge in sweet treats without paying for it in some way. If I was able to limit myself to ONE brownie, I'd be okay. But when I have several, that's when I notice the weight start to climb back on.
I've done fine today, and I'm still getting plenty of exercise, but I get weary sometimes of being so careful with everything I put in my mouth. Sometimes I just want to eat everything in sight...
- Sunday Oct 31, 2004
So much for self-control! I attended a Halloween party last night, and even though there wasn't much candy around, there WERE sweet treats. And since I had been "good" all day, I found myself eating several helpings of desserts...especially the one I made! Ugh! I went to bed with a bit of a "sugar hangover."
I'm back on track today, so far! I hope my overnight "gain" is temporary...I plan to get plenty of exercise today to help cancel out all those unncessary calories I consumed last night. Sure, the food was good, but I should have kept my portions smaller and I should have avoided eating second helpings. I know my weaknesses, and sweets are definitely at the top of the list!
With my parents coming to visit this week, I need to be even more disciplined, as we'll be eating several big meals during their visit. (People want to take us out for fancy dinners...it's the typical Chinese way of doing things)