- Thursday Sep 16, 2004
Okay, so the 112.5 was just a fluke...but at least I'm staying at 113! I had a good eating day yesterday and didn't feel like bingeing on sweets before bedtime. I woke up at 4am hungry, though, and I think it's due to a bit of jet-lag. I ignored it, drank some water, and went back to sleep.
I have one month until the half-marathon, so I have to kick my running into high gear starting this weekend. I have to do at least one long run. I enjoy the training, but I often find myself enjoying the extra calories even more. I always think that I might lose a little weight when I start running more, but that never happens. Instead, I rationalize that I deserve more calories...and I have even ended up gaining weight after a big race! Ironic, isn't it?
My husband is going to be gone this weekend, so I'll need to be careful. In the past, I used to use his absence as an excuse to eat junk food carelessly. But I plan to stay busy and not just wander around the kitchen, snacking on candy or junk.
- Thursday Sep 16, 2004
I'm back home! The scale showed 112.5 this morning, but after a 15-hour flight and a very mixed-up body (it's a 12-hour time difference), I'm not banking that the weight loss is permanent. However, at least I don't think I really gained any weight, which is good news!
I've got that desire to bake and eat a bunch of sweets though, which is weird, because I had plenty of chances to eat sweets in the U.S. Except for the ice cream and the wedding food, though, I was really careful with what I ate. I even tried eating a donut and stopped after a few bites...it just didn't taste as good as I remembered! Funny how I used to binge on donuts about 2 years ago. I've come a long way.
Of course, I can never be overconfident. As soon as I think I've got my sweet tooth under control, I'll give in to the urge to binge on sweets. So it takes daily monitoring...and discipline.
I am definitely ready to start cooking for myself, though! This past month I have been on the road for 3 weeks, so I'm tired of eating out and eating what everyone else is eating. I love cooking for myself and making my own low-fat, healthy, meals. (full of veggies!)
Now if I can just stay away from the brownie mixes...
- Monday Sep 13, 2004
Hello, friends! Quick update---the reception food was also fabulous...especially the wedding cake! Good thing I had hardly eaten all day, because I enjoyed about 3 pieces of it! I got a piece for myself and my hubby, and for some reason he got up and went to talk to someone as I started eating my cake, so I managed to eat both of ours quite quickly. I didn't want him to notice that I had eaten his cake, so I got him another piece, which I helped him eat as well. I'm such a sucker for sweets! It was really good cake, though. But I know I'm going to pay for my indulgence...it's only a matter of time!
It's my last day in the States, and I've also managed to eat ice cream every day. (Good thing I've only been here a week! This is crazy!) But last night I bought the Healthy Choice praline variety, and at least it was lower in fat and calories than the "Death By Chocolate!" However, I have managed to "go lightly" at meals and continue to run and run and run...you know, I'm amazed at how good my body feels when I run over here! I don't have to deal with terribly hot and humid temperatures, pollution, dogs, or car exhaust! I've really enjoyed being outside in the cooler weather!
These past two days have been a little rough, though. We're staying with my sister, who has her own diet quirks...and for some reason, she's always felt very competitive with me. So I feel like she's analyzing everything I put in my mouth and making comments about my weight loss. You see, I have lost some weight since I was home last. And to her, that's unacceptable, for some reason. She's thin herself, but I am currently thinner, and I think that bothers her.
I wish it weren't that way...I mean, I love my sister, but I hate it that I feel like I have to defend myself for choosing a low-fat product or not eating bread or something. I feel so self-conscious when I eat! So a part of me is definitely ready to go back to Asia, where I feel much less scrutinized!
- Saturday Sep 11, 2004
Last night at the rehearsal dinner, we were served a magnificent meal! I managed to go lightly on the appetizers and stuck with protein for the main course (no bread or butter or salad drenched in dressing), but dessert was a killer! They had a full ice cream sundae bar, complete with melt-in-your-mouth warm brownies. Talk about temptation! For those of you who have been around for awhile, you KNOW that brownies (and ice cream!) are my weaknesses...so I had a hard time not indulging past what I should enjoy. I made myself a good-sized sundae and then helped my husband finish his, too! I should have stopped there, but I ended up going back and grabbing another 1/2 brownie smothered in carmel sauce. The crazy thing is that I could have eaten more! I probably would have felt sick afterward, but who knows? I have such a sweet tooth!
This morning, I woke up and ran a good 8 miles. I needed to put in a long run to train for my upcoming half-marathon, but I also felt the need to burn off some of those calories. The crazy thing is that I probably only burned 600-700 cals...and I probably consumed about 1500 last night!
Ah, well...I thorougly enjoyed the sundae, but I'm already anticipating more temptations today at the wedding. The bride is having a peanut butter and chocolate cake...ANOTHER combination I can never resist! I'll be so glad when all the eating is over...
- Friday Sep 10, 2004
Well, I'm here in America! The land of plenty! Honestly, I was really overwhelmed yesterday when I visited a Super-Walmart. I've only been out of the States for a little more than a year, but all the selection was just too much for me! It's amazing how many choices Americans have for just one kind of BBQ sauce! And the ice cream aisle! It took me 20 minutes to decide which kind to buy!
I was so amazed at all the low-carb products, too. Man, everything is low-carb now! I guess there's good and bad with that. I mean, I found some low-carb BBQ sauce that I bought to take back with me since it's half the calories and low in sugar. I wonder if it tastes the same. And I tried some low-carb Special K cereal, mainly because it's high in protein. I wonder how long all this low-carb mania will continue.
Anyway, I've gotten in two good runs, and the jet-lag wasn't bad at all. I think it's because I usually drink a lot of water on the flight and get plenty of exercise when I can. At first, when I woke up yesterday morning, I felt like I got hit by a truck. My first ten minutes of running were miserable. But I kept with it, and I felt sooooo much better after 50 minutes. It gave me the energy I needed to get through the day without taking a nap.
Well, the food fest has begun. I've done pretty well so far...but I have indulged in some ice cream. I broke down and bought the "Death By Chocolate" ice cream made by my favorite brand, Turkey Hill. That is the richest ice cream I've ever had! It tastes like brownie batter with dark chocolate chunks in it! My, oh, my.
I just hope I can survive the next few days without gaining more than a pound or so. I liked what Borntocry said on my last entry...she mentioned that she tries to only enjoy the things that she doesn't get in her country. THat's good advice. I'm also trying to eat only when I'm hungry. But it's hard when there are so many people around who just don't care about what they put in their mouths...
The wedding rehearsal is tonight and the wedding is tomorrow, so wish me luck!
- Wednesday Sep 08, 2004
Believe it or not, I'm stuck in the Osaka airport right now...my flight was delayed, so I found some free Internet access and decided to check in with all of you! Sadly, my weight was up a pound and a half this morning...but I think that's helpful in a way because it will remind me not to just pig out while in America. If I can gain a pound and a half while in Taiwan, I can easily put on the weight in the U.S.!
I hate the long flight, though...I woke up super-early to go running this morning, but it's still a full 24 hours until I'm at my destination...and that involves a lot of sitting!
I ordered a "low-fat" meal on the flight, but it wasn't even close to being low^fat. I left the greasy veggies and starchy pasta alone and just ate some sort of pork burger or something like that. The next leg of the flight will serve several meals, but I came prepared with my own healthy snacks just in case!
Hopefully I'll be able to update with better news when I make it to America...
- Tuesday Sep 07, 2004
After a good BBQ last night, I thought my weight would be up...but it's still the same. Phew! Of course, I avoided all the chips and fatty foods, but still indulged in some nice helpings of baked beans and some dessert. But hopefully it didn't do much damage. I've had a sweet tooth lately...I think it's partly due to stress.
I leave for the States tomorrow morning. My only hope is that I can maintain my weight while I'm there. That will be next to impossible, I'm sure, since every day we'll have some sort of "eating-fest," but I'll try to do my best. Of course, I'll enjoy the extra goodies, too! This trip comes but once a year, so I'll make sure I don't try to deprive myself! However, moderation is key. I have to rememeber that eating 3 servings of ice cream won't make me feel any better than if I just ate one serving.
- Monday Sep 06, 2004
ON Saturday, the scale tempted me with "112." But my excitement was short-lived. I'm not complaining, though. I'm happy where I'm at! I just will take any loss that I can right now, since I'm leaving for the U.S. in less than 48 hours. And with a wedding to attend and several big events, I know that eating lots of good foods will be a BIG temptation. For all of you who have lived in a foreign country, you know the lure of good ol' American food...
Unfortunately, I ate too much yesterday at a lunch out. And I baked at night, which is never a good idea. I'm also throwing another BBQ cookout party tonight, so I'm sure there will be plenty of good food there. I did okay at breakfast and lunch, so I'm just hoping I don't feel the need to pig-out.
As for exercise, I put in one good, long run this weekend. Only 6 weeks until the race! I can't wait to run in clear air for a week. America, here I come.... :)
- Thursday Sep 02, 2004
Yesterday was a tough day, food-wise. I wasn't planning to go out to lunch, but wasn't really given a choice. Someone took me to a very fancy hotel for lunch on a "spur-of-the-moment" decision. It was Cantonese food, and even though I didn't eat a lot, I know that the food was highly caloric.
So I skipped an afternoon snack, but dinner was hard, too. I had a party at my house and we grilled out. I didn't eat most of the food I served---I skipped the brats, chips, mozzarella sticks, etc. I ate some ham, veggies, and fruit instead. But someone brought peanut butter bars for dessert, and I had about 3 of them. Oops. I'm such a sucker for peanut butter and chocolate!
My weight was only up 1/2 pound this morning, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. I'm off to a good start today, and I plan to have a great weekend! I leave for the U.S. next week, and even though I'll only be there one week, I know I'll be eating a lot of ice cream and goodies. SO I don't want to go into that trip feeling guilty...I want to enjoy the extra treats I only get once or twice a year!
I'm not planning to just eat and eat and eat...I rarely do that. But I will indulge in a few extra sweets, I'm sure! Of course, I can't wait to go running in clean air, too! I'll definitely work in a lot of exercise!
- Wednesday Sep 01, 2004
Minor weight fluctuation...but I know I'm on the right track! I had a good day yesterday and stayed away from the desserts, except for a small portion of sugar-free chocolate pudding. (made with skim milk, of course!)
Geevee is so right...the more you lose, the harder it is to maintain! At a smaller weight, my body needs less calories. And since it is quite efficient when I exercise, I don't think I burn as many calories as I did when I first started running. So I just have to realize that I can't shove as much food in my mouth as I used to!
But you know what? That's okay. Because life is more than eating. Sometimes I forget that! It's so ironic...I see undernourished people often here, and yet I focus so much on myself. I can't remember the last time I've been really, really hungry. I mean, really starving.
I enjoy eating a lot...I enjoy a good meal. But I don't need to get to the point where I'm bingeing on food for no good reason at all. Especially when people around me can't afford to eat like I do!