- Tuesday Aug 10, 2004
Had an awful lunch today---three low-fat brownies and an egg-white omelet. Who knows how many calories were in the brownies...maybe 500 or 600? Anyway, I haven't done something like that in a long time.
What happened was that I ran a bake sale at lunch, and by the time it was over, I had missed lunch. So...I had three low-fat brownies left over (at least I didn't grab the full-fat items!), and I took them home with me...and ate them while walking up the stairs to my home. So, I consumed them all in under one minute.
Pathetic, I know.
Most people could at least wait until they unlock the front door and sit down at the kitchen table.
But I had to eat them while walking home and up the stairs.
I slipped at lunchtime, but I'm determined to get back on track! NO MORE SWEETS!
- Sunday Aug 08, 2004
The scale teased me with a two-pound weight-loss this weekend.
On both Saturday and Sunday, my weight was down two pounds. I couldn't believe it, since I had eaten out on Friday AND Saturday! ButI behaved myself around food...I avoided the bad stuff and stuck to healthy sushi.
Although I wanted to use the weight loss as an excuse to eat more, I stifled my urge to consume fatty foods and on Sunday, I passed up the very highly caloric church potluck food and ate my own healthy lunch at home. AND I skipped my nightly snack Sunday night since I'd eaten a large (but healthy) dinner.
So...after doing all those things RIGHT, I was surprised to see that I was back to my normal weight Monday morning...in fact, I was up half a pound!
Ah, well. I'll never understand those fluctuations...I'll never understand how I can do everything right but not maintain a drop in my weight. It's just cruel, though, that the scale can tease me like that!
- Friday Aug 06, 2004
Okay, I had another lunch out today, but I think I did okay. We went to a pasta place. Personally, I don't like pasta much, so it's never too tempting to consume hundreds of calories with starchy noodles. And I always avoid the white creamy sauce!
Well, our hosts ordered soups (pumpkin...it was very creamy and good, and probably highly caloric) and salads (chicken ceasar...drowned in dressing, but I only ate the chicken) for everyone, which I didn't know until AFTER I'd ordered my meal. Otherwise, I wouldn't have ordered anything! I ate the soup and the chicken in my salad, and surprisingly, I was pretty full after that!
But my pasta dish came, and I ordered the only advertised low-calorie dish on the menu (spaghetti with caviar and smoked salmon)...it was far from low-calorie, I think...the only difference was that the serving size was a tad bit smaller than the rest of the dishes. That makes it low-calorie in the minds of the Chinese.
Well, I picked out a few tomato pieces and a little smoked salmon and pushed the rest of it around on my plate because I honestly didn't want it! I did eat a few bites of my husband's dish, but overall, I think I did okay. Whew!
The crazy thing is that my hosts sent me back with 4 full pizzas that didn't get eaten because we were all too full...but I'll give all that away. The pizza here is bad, anyway.
SO I made it through lunch...but I have leftover ice cream in my freezer that I'm sure I'll attack later tonight...but if my husband is around, I'll manage to keep everything under control.
I may be thin, but I still have food cravings and bad days just like anyone else! It takes incredible discipline for me not to stuff my face when good food is around!
- Thursday Aug 05, 2004
Woah. Geevee isn't the only one who has faced some real food temptations lately! I was at a HUGE birthday party today, and there was some excellent "American style" food, and I just didn't stick to my diet plan, that's for sure! I knew that there would be good food at the party, so I ate a light breakfast and lunch, but I still feel some twinges of guilt at the ice cream, cake, and some appetizers that I ate.
On a good note, I totally stayed away from the cheesecake, chips, guacamole, meat dip, fried foods, and fancy sauces. I did indulge in a big bowl of ice cream, 1/2 a piece of REALLY rich chocolate cake (a real treat here!), some chicken satays, and a small fudgy chocolate something-or-other. So I guess it's not terrible...but I know the ice cream was highly caloric!
However, I was watching my co-workers, and the Chinese were definitely pigging out! They piled their plates high with the fattiest foods....and all had several desserts on their plates. Ironically enough, most of them are still thin, compared to Americans. But I swear it will catch up to them someday! I think the difference is that most of them NEVER eat desserts like that...maybe once or twice a year! So they take advantage of the treats when they can. But it's all-to-common for Americans to indulge in dessert. Anyway, since I'm not in America anymore, I seize my opportunities to enjoy fine chocolate when I can!!!
And I'm off to the gym in a few minutes, so my guilty feeling is slowing dissipating....of course, if the scale is up tomorrow morning, I may feel a bit worse than I do right now. I think I'm still on a sugar-high!!
- Tuesday Aug 03, 2004
The scale is up 1/2 pound, but I'm not recording it...because this is typical "mid-week gain" for me. I've done well eating at mealtime, but my snacking has been a little wild...I find myself wanting to eat, even when I'm not hungry! I tend to eat out of boredom before bedtime, which can be dangerous. I usually think I deserve it, since I often work out after work. So I figure that my metabolism is revved up and I deserve a nightly snack. Otherwise I might get hungry during the night...right?
Well, what usually happens is that I eat a late dinner around 7:30pm or so...and it is healthy and filling...and I'm not really hungry at 9:30pm, but I snack anyway. Because I always prepare a snack for my husband, and I figure that I should get a snack, too! I'm a creature of habit. And I find myself eating snacks out of habit, not because I'm actually hungry.
So one of my goals is to stop snacking if I'm not actually hungry. I need to learn to wait until I'm actually hungry before I eat.
- Monday Aug 02, 2004
That 1-pound weight loss was just a minor fluctuation on the scale. I'm back to normal now, but hey, that's okay. I'm happy where I'm at. Maintaining my weight is my current battle.
One of my favorite blogs is, "The Skinny Daily," which I think everyone should read. Today the author touched on exercise...and I can relate to many of her points. So instead of rambling on about the fattening Chinese food here, I'll let you read what this author says about exercise. May it inspire you as it did me!
*********************************** Don�t Binge. Burn.
Crabby. I feel crabby, cranky, bored and am churning like an 11-year-old on a rainy day in July. It�s not as if I have nothing to do, but nothing I have to do is anything I want to do. There are deadlines looming or missed, stacks of filing to do, bills to be paid, people to see, appointments to keep.
But I don�t want to.
The only thing I want to do right now is eat. I could eat my way through my pantry and yours. I could concoct strange forms of frosting from the cocoa powder in my pantry and any form of fat at my disposal. And wallow in it. I could plow through all the half-eaten cereal, while waiting for a double batch of cookies to bake, then eat those so hot they burn going down.
I could, but I won�t. Not this time.
I am overwhelmed by life. Plain old life, pure and simple. I�ve just had a bit too much of a week. Too many highs, lows, demands, disappointments. Too much DNC. Too much politic. Too angry, too happy. Too much memory. Too sad, too hopeful, too burned, too anxious.
I need an opiate, a narcotic. A legal one, and one whose addiction will do me more good than harm. Food is one kind of opiate, my oldest and surest one, but it doesn�t wear well on my bones. Alcohol makes me feel a lot worse a lot faster. What I need is a long, deep sweat, and hard enough work to get some endorphins circulating in my wee brain. I need to get my heart going and keep it going for awhile. I need to go �run it off.�
You will find lots and lots of support in the nutritional and psychological communities for this cure. From full-blown depression to these intermittent blues to anxiety and panic attacks, the clinicians all recommend getting a goodly hunk � say 45 minutes or so � of aerobic activity daily, or at least 5 times per week.
To cool your jets, help you sleep, smooth the jitters, raise your spirits, give you a little more juice: panting and sweating make a great prescription. It also helps to manage anger, sadness, loss, or nervousness. Walking it off (or swimming it off, or dancing, rowing, biking, hula-hooping, playing it off) is great old medicine.
And it burns calories.
So don�t binge, burn. It works faster, costs less, and gets you to your goal a whole lot faster.
Am I crazy? Have you noticed that exercise can help cool your binges?
- Sunday Aug 01, 2004
Weight is down a pound...not sure why, except I didn't snack as much as normal this weekend. I ate out every night, but I was careful with what I ordered, got plenty of exercise, and avoided overeating. Whew! This week isn't going to be easy, either, but I just take things one day at a time.
I read the other day in the newspaper that dieting in Asian countries is very popular now. But instead of cutting calories and exercising, the majority of the "dieters" just use diet pills or quit eating altogether. A very slim minority of them try to lose weight by exercising more. Honestly, they are so baffled as to how to lose weight. There is a HUGE market here for programs like Weight Watchers or Curves.
Let's just say that with the number of Chinese women who approach me on diet-related issues, I could make a LOAD of money by opening up a diet and nutrition center. My husband (who has a business mind) thinks I should do it...it would be a huge undertaking, but I know it would be successful! More and more Chinese are becoming overweight, and they have no idea what to do!
Last week, I introduced cooking spray to a Chinese woman...I explained that she could save hundreds of calories by frying her veggies in cooking spray (a 1-second spray), instead of 1/4 cup of vegetable oil. And her arteries will thank her, too!!
She was dumbfounded. She's never seen such a thing! I could hardly believe it!
- Thursday Jul 29, 2004
Finally back to normal! Whew! That 2-lb. fluctuation wasn't fun, but I am back to what I was last week at this time. I have two meals out this weekend, so I'll have to practice some "self-control."
I made a cake for a co-worker's birthday and she ended up sharing it with everyone. So I had a piece. (I made it low-fat, so I could enjoy it without feeling too guilty!)
One thing that bothers me, though is when I get comments like, "I wish I could eat like you...where do you put it all?" "How do you stay so thin?" "I'm so jealous...you bake all the time and you're so thin!"
Well, people, I work hard to keep my weight down. They just don't get it. If they want to wake up at 5:50am and run 10 kilometers in 80-degree weather (that is not an exaggeration), they can enjoy a piece of cake without feeling too guilty. But they don't want to work hard to lose weight.
I wish I could be like CurlsnCuffs and just stick to my diet religiously. But I slip up often, and I enjoy baking and trying my treats. Although I try to keep everything in moderation, I'd have a hard time totally giving up certain sweets.
So, to compensate for my treats, I work out religiously. That is where my discipline is incredible. It's just that my co-workers don't understand the power of exercise. Instead, they just think that I have a naturally high metabolism. Yeah, right. I TRAINED my metabolism to be fast! It's only fast because I speed it up myself! In fact, I have a naturally slow metabolism...I have hypothyroidianism, so that works against me, too! But I get out in the oppressive heat and work my butt off. And boy, does it feel good! I wouldn't give up my morning runs for anything!
- Thursday Jul 29, 2004
A half pound down. Nothing earth-shattering. I'll never understand the scale, so I don't know why I try. I really should stop weighing myself every day...but I've done it for so long that it's a bad habit. It's like telling myself not to check my e-mail or brush my teeth. It's just part of my daily routine! But I don't like getting all out-of-sorts because my weight is up...it's a vicious cycle!
Geevee---I was hungry all day yesterday, even though I kept eating healthy foods, and I thought of you! My metabolism was just burning everything up, I guess!
I have had two baking disasters in the last two days. This has made a small dent in my pride, since I have quite a reputation as being quite a "Betty Crocker". (Hey, I have no competition here, so I earned that role very easily) :)
Anyway, I tend to eat my baking failures because I hate wasting food, get frustrated and want to eat, and try to eliminate my mistakes before anyone sees it. But this time, I didn't allow my disasters to take total control of me.
As I started to eat a couple pieces of the VERY DRY fruit bread, I realized that I didn't want it, didn't need it, and wasn't going to go poor if I threw it away. SO, still warm from the oven, I threw it into the trash. And I felt much better!
I wasn't perfect...I still ate some of it...but I didn't consume a ridiculous amount of it.
I don't think I've had a "perfect" eating day in months...but life's too short to try to eat perfectly! I could literally drive myself nuts counting calories...but I'm striving to "eat to live" not "live to eat."
(And at the moment, I'm munching on BBQ Genisoy soy nuts...good stuff! I get them mailed to me from the States)
- Tuesday Jul 27, 2004
My weight is still up. Here's how crazy the fluctuation is--- On Saturday morning, I weighed 112 pounds naked. On Tuesday evening, I weighed 120 pounds naked.
That is an 8-lb. difference. How does one "gain" 8 pounds in three short days? (Especially when one's eating habits have remained consistent?)
Now, I know that I put on water and food weight during the day...but I don't understand the extreme fluctuations.
It drives me nuts, it really does! If I had a good reason as to why I'm "gaining weight," I'd list it here. But I don't. I'm not as upset about weighing 116 pounds as I am upset about the unexplained gain. If I deserved it, that would be one thing. (I kept my calories under 1800 yesterday, ran 50 minutes, lifted weights, walked for 20 minutes, and did tae-bo for 40 minutes)
I guess it just bothers me that I am so careful most of the time...I have even passed up eating out a couple of meals this week because I knew that I needed to keep my caloric intake low. And when I eat out, that is really hard to do.
I'm just having a good ol' pity party for myself...I'll snap out of it. But I'm tired of working so hard to maintain this weight. It takes so much work! I do enjoy little snacks, but I have to keep my calories lower than the national average, that's for sure!
Sometimes I just want to give up...and eat and exercise like a normal person. But then I'd have to give up being this weight, and I'm not ready to do that yet. My body is fighting me, though...it wants to put on 5 more pounds...at least, that's what my husband thinks. And he's all for me gaining 5 more pounds! He thinks I'm too skinny. Maybe. But all my clothes fit, and I LIKE being thin.