- Tuesday May 25, 2004
Woah. Last night was one of those nights that everything went wrong, food-wise.
I was asked to make some treats (caramel bars) for a baby shower tonight. I had made them last week, and the lady liked them so much, she requested that I make them again. Well, I love getting compliments on my baking, so I readily agreed! I decided to make two batches.
Unfortunately, my convection oven (I don't have a real oven here...bummer!) wasn't working right, so the first batch of the caramel bars turned out too hard. I cooked my second batch in someone else's oven, and they didn't turn out right, either! Meanwhile, I'm trying small samples to see what I can do to make them edible...I mean, they weren't bad, they just weren't GREAT. And they definitely didn't taste like they did last week when my friend tried them!!
So I attempted another dessert---and these were even more unhealthy. Of course, I had to "lick the bowl" when I was finished! I don't know if those turned out or not---I haven't tried one yet. And I don't plan to. THey're full of chocolate, peanut butter, and butter. BUT, I did my share of sampling all the other goodies, and I went to bed feeling wired and edgy.
In fact, I couldn't sleep for at least an hour and a half. My whole night was wasted making food that didn't turn out right, and I consumed who knows how many calories in frustration. What a waste of my time!!!
For some reason, I woke up ready to go at 5:30am, even though I didn't sleep much, and decided to go running and then swimming. So I got an hour workout in this morning. That's my only consolation.
You know, I love to bake, but I hate it when I goof up. It causes me to overeat, get frustrated, and waste my time.
- Monday May 24, 2004
The Food Fair was so easy! Except for a tiny sample of cheese, I didn't see anything that I wanted, so I ate my protein bar, fruit, and some soy nuts for lunch instead! Actually, it was a really good weekend, food-wise. And I gave away all the sweets in my freezer today. So whether or not the scale goes up or down, I've made smart choices the last couple of days. And that's a good feeling!
- Saturday May 22, 2004
My weight is still up, which isn't good, especially since I'm going to a Food Fair tomorrow! Ugh! My only hope is that all the food will be pricey and that there won't be many samples out. I dislike paying for fattening food, so I doubt I'll waste my money, but I am a sucker for free samples. I'll report in on Monday--- here's to a disciplined day!
- Wednesday May 19, 2004
Rats. I've officially gained a couple of pounds since last Thursday. So weird, since I had lost two pounds on my two-week vacation and put them back on when I got home. And I know that I haven't been eating any more than I did while on vacation! Even if I allowed myself some ice cream yesterday, I still tracked my calories and I thought I was in the "safe" zone.
Hmmmm....I also got plenty of exercise. I know that I must burn at least 500-600 cals a day doing exercise. (I run 5-6 miles every morning and also do some sort of workout after work every day) So why can't I enjoy a little extra foods once in awhile? Every time I seem to enjoy extra snacks, my weight goes up. Ugh!
It's not like I'm obsessed with weighing 115 pounds or something. It's that I can't seem to figure out how many calories I actually need. Maybe it's more like 1500. I just want to maintain my weight, that's all! I get tired of the ups and downs.
But I goofed up today already. I had three small pieces of a candybar-like dessert that I made at lunchtime. Yeah, I was going to give it away, but I ended up eating some of it! I always have good intentions, you know? But then my selfish inner self thinks that I deserve to sample a good portion of whatever I bake.
Okay...there is still a lot of "day" left today. I WILL do better. And tomorrow is a new day!
- Wednesday May 19, 2004
I made it through the day with no candy! Wahoo! The only sweets I had was a tiny bowl of peanut butter ice cream before bed. I think I earned it, considering I got almost 2 hours of exercise. Of course, my weight didn't change today, but oh, well.
Does anyone out there do tae-bo? I've been doing tae-bo videos with the Chinese staff here for a few months, and I'm getting a little bored with it. But they really enjoy doing it...so I'm just glad they want to exercise!
We have a birthday party today. Lots of ice cream...I'll go easy. My husband will be there to help me.
- Tuesday May 18, 2004
My weight was up a pound today, but I don't feel like recording it. Hopefully it's just those dumb fluctuations...like salt retention or something.
So far so good today. I've had abuot 600 calories so far...I'm trying to stay around 1600-1800 calories every day, and I want those calories to count. To be the kind of calories that my body needs---so I'm trying to stay away from sugar and just concentrate on the good stuff.
I have a race on Saturday, anyway, so it doesn't help me out any to just eat junk.
My goal is to make it through today without any empty sugar calories. Fruit, yes. Candy, no.
- Monday May 17, 2004
I ended up freezing the rest of the brownies last night, but that didn't stop me from de-thawing them today. After eating about three of them at lunchtime, I threw the rest away. Rats. I haven't had to do that in a long time. But I know myself---as long as they're in the house, I won't be able to eat them in moderation.
On a better note, we finally joined a really nice health club here, and I can start lifting weights on a regular basis again! I've missed doing that.
- Sunday May 16, 2004
I think that I eat better when I'm on vacation! It's just too tempting to snack when I'm home! Unfortunately, today wasn't a good day. I've been good for so long...and I just wanted to eat brownies today! I made some low-fat brownies "for my co-workers" and ended up eating at least 5 of them. ugh! Now I feel rotten. To make matters worse, I had some rich chocolate earlier in the day.
I know what CurlsnCuffs would say--- "Runner, quit eating sugar! You know that it gets you every time!"
She's right. It does get me every time. I start eating it and I can't quit.
I usually crave my veggies, fruits, and protein, but as soon as I allow myself some sweets in the privacy of my own kitchen, I'm a goner.
A year ago, I would have beaten myself up over this, but I've come a long way since then. I screw up less now than I ever have before, and I know that it doesn't help to get all upset and do something drastic like stop eating or go on a fast. I don't ever just stop eating. But I will move on and make better choices for the rest of today and hopefully in the days to follow.
- Saturday May 15, 2004
The weather here is hot, hot, hot. I don't know how I'm going to keep running through the summer months. I think I'm going to start swimming more, although I tend to get bored while swimming laps. I prefer the noisy, chaotic streets that I run through...it's rarely boring here, even at 6:00am! Chinese people sure do get up early!
I was grocery shopping today at Costco, which is a huge wholesaler here. Anyway, they do sell a bunch of American-type food at a pricey cost, and the Chinese people just go nuts over it! They sure do consume more fatty and processed foods than ever before, and it's going to catch up with them. It already has with many of them...they're getting chunkier and chunkier. It's too bad, you know...it used to be really rare to see a fat Chinese person. Even now, I have yet to see an obese Chinese woman or man. BUT, many of them are now carrying around a few extra pounds.
Anyway...I'm just rambling.
So far so good on the eating plan today. I have to do some baking in the next couple of days, so I have to be careful.
And I still have ice cream in the freezer...temptations, temptations!
- Thursday May 13, 2004
I'm back from my trip, and I actually lost a pound! I think it was because I was able to be pretty active while at the hotel. There was an amazing pool and a decent weight room, so each morning I was able to go for a run, then swim, then lift weights. Total about 1 hour, 15 minutes of exercise. And the hotel served excellent food, but I stuck with the sushi, fish, eggs, and veggies. (Although I indulged in some ice cream each day!) Sometimes those all-you-can-eat buffets get old, anyway. I actually skipped out on a couple of them and had some snacks I'd packed just for a change of pace.
But I saw how my co-workers ate---they held nothing back! Every meal was a feast. You know, I used to eat like that more, and it was temporarily satisfying, but I always felt yucky afterward. Even though I still have my days when I overeat, I'm managing to keep them few and far in-between.
But now that I'm home, the temptation is there to start baking again. That's usually where I mess up. So even though I'm home, I need to exercise discipline.