- Thursday Jul 24, 2003
What a relief! Those three pounds of water and salt are gone. (At least temporarily!) ANyway, I was encouraged this morning when I was back to normal. I'm dealing with the weight fluctuations much better than I used to, though. I know my diaries may seem like I'm very upset, but it's usually just annoyance and an understanding that fluctuations are a part of life. Two months ago, I would have cried at seeing a 2-lb. overnight weight gain. But I haven't cried over my weight in a long time...I think I'm past that stage, and I now understand that many things can influence the number on the scale..and if I eat too much, then I'm only increasing my chances to see a higher number in the days to come.
It's so basic, and yet such a mystery at the same time. I just wish I could figure out what my daily caloric intake should be. I thought it was around 1800, but who knows? I haven't had a consistent week (weight-wise) for awhile, with all the extra dinners out and salty food and things that throw the numbers off.
After we move, maybe I'll get back into more of a routine. Until then, I'm still trying to be in "the Zone" as much as possible, and trying not to bake whenever I feel the urge to eat something sweet.
- Wednesday Jul 23, 2003
I KNEW that I'd retain some salt and water from the Korean dinner, but I was really, really hoping that I wouldn't see anything over 119 pounds. Ouch. I "gained" two and a quarter pounds in one night. Let's just hope it's mainly my body retaining salt, since that meal was salty. But I did eat far more calories than normal. I tried to stay away from the fried stuff, but I did have some. I sure hope it doesn't take two weeks to get back to 117. That's usually my rate of progress. Two weeks to get where I want to be, one day to destroy it.
Does anyone else retain water like this after a salty meal? I did a 2-hour workout this morning, and haven't eaten breakfast yet because I'm meeting a lady for lunch at 11:30am. I probably will only eat a piece of fruit or something. Normally breakfast is my biggest meal, but this morning I'm really not feeling like eating anything, and I'm not hungry yet. (I think I must have eaten enough fat last night to last me for awhile...)
- Tuesday Jul 22, 2003
Woo-hoo! A one pound loss! I won't be cynical and assume it's water...I'll just rejoice in the current number on the scale! :) Tonight I'm going out for Korean food with some friends. Hope that won't be too much of a problem for me. Korean food is okay...but not my favorite. THe people taking us love to order "one of everything," so I know there will be plenty of food!
I've stayed away from peanut butter lately, which is good. I can't eat that in moderation.
- Monday Jul 21, 2003
It IS the second day of my period, but I'm still a pound a half heavier than I was last Monday. I just can't make any solid progress! It's sooo hard right now, too. My hubby and I are moving far away, and we have so many lunch, dinner, and coffee "dates" with our friends in the next month. I mean, it's at least one meal almost every day for a month! Constantly going out to eat makes me feel somewhat out-of-control of the food situation since I don't always know exactly what is in the food I'm eating...I'm always very smart about ordering healthy food, but I still don't have the same reassurance that I'm eating low-cal as when I'm able to cook for myself.
I had an enjoyable birthday weekend! I only had one piece of cake and fat-free frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. My hubby threw a party for me and I stayed far away from the fattening stuff...I even had a little celebration last night and had more fat-free ice cream while everyone else was indulging in the really bad stuff. But you know what? I'm the one who gained the pound and a half. I swear, life just doesn't seem fair sometimes!
I'm not going to whine, though. It doesn't get me anywhere! I just have to realize that I have a lot to be thankful for. At least I can run, walk, see, hear, and have had 26 years of pretty good health! I shouldn't get so bent-out-of-shape over food. So what if I can't always eat the same things others do? Life goes on! At least I'm trying to be healthy and do what's right for my body!
Maybe the scale will reflect my efforts later in the week... I can hope, anyway!
- Friday Jul 18, 2003
More "ugh" today. Not only did I give in to some cookies yesterday, I hardly slept at night and weighed in a full 2 pounds heavier than my goal was for the end of the week...and I'm 1 1/2 pounds heavier than Monday. I just have such a hard time maintaining any loss. But it is almost my TOM...so maybe I'm retaining water. I really don't think the cookies could have killed my progress, since they were only 80 calories each and I had a 2 1/2 hour intensive workout yesterday of running, biking, walking, and lifting weights. So I know I burned off the extra calories...I must have! I ate fine all day long.
I'm trying not to get discouraged. But my birthday is tomorrow, and I want some cake and ice cream!!! I'm going to eat it, too. I think my hubby is taking me out for dinner as well. I need to be careful, though, so I don't end up at 119 again on Monday. That would totally destroy all my hard work the past two weeks.
I've got to quit cheating, though! I do so well and then cheat a little...all those extra calories add up eventually!
- Thursday Jul 17, 2003
Ugh. The extra weight is creeping on again. I made a very dumb purchase the other day---Snickers Peanut Butter. Yup...I consumed about 500 calories of it yesterday. 500 extra calories I didn't need. Plus, I had some chocolate covered cherries and low-fat ice cream. So I know that I need to cut back on the sweet stuff today. The last two days have been rough, and I don't want to blow it now. I've worked too hard for this.
- Wednesday Jul 16, 2003
Somehow I've stayed in the 117's for three days!!!!!!!!! I'm so pumped! I had a big eating day yesterday, since I had lunch with some friends and dinner at a carnival of all things. But I walked around a lot, got in my daily run, and I think I'm going to be okay. My goal is to make it down to 116 1/2 by Friday. That would be wonderful...I'm still about 5 pounds heavier than I was last summer, but most of my clothes still fit, so I'm okay with that. I just want to be healthy, overall.
- Monday Jul 14, 2003
Man, I am the QUEEN of fluctuations! I'm really not putting much stock in the scale anymore, but it sure was nice to see a lower weight than normal! Ironically, I had too many calories for breakfast...you would have thought I wanted to continue the lower-calorie lifestyle. Anyway, I'm not going to stress out about it. I've been doing well lately with my eating, overall. I'm trying to cut out a couple hundred calories a day, because I find myself "grazing" on food that I'm not really hungry for.
- Friday Jul 11, 2003
Okay, I'm tired of fluctuations. I just wish my weight would stay constant. Other people seem to have a consistent weight. Why does mine need to fluctuate up to three pounds every week? I'm really trying to eat consistently, so why can't my weight be consistent? Oh, well. I just HATE seeing the number 119. It only reminds me that I've GAINED three and a half pounds since starting this "diet."
But I'm really enjoying the book "My Name is Caroline." I can hardly put it down! Please read it if you get the chance.
- Thursday Jul 10, 2003
I met with my nutritionist/ therapist yesterday, and as always, she encouraged me a lot...she helps me see the larger picture and the progress I HAVE made, even if it's just an awareness of my eating habits. I had a good day yesterday, and enjoyed a Weight Watchers chocolate ice cream sandwich before bed...yummy! I was surprised that it tasted to good! I'm reading a good book called, "My Name is Caroline," I think. Anyway, it's about a woman who battled bulimia for years...very eye-opening. I can relate to some of her struggles, though, even though I've never thrown up my food. (ALthough I've felt like it at times!)
My husband is gone until tonight...that's hard for me sometimes, because I just want to eat when no one's looking. BUt I'm going to keep busy doing other things and staying OUT of the kitchen. I've learned that baking sweets just opens a big can of worms for me. But I've also learned that I'm not the only one who has this problem, and that is comforting.