- Friday May 02, 2003
I know weight fluctuation is normal, but I ate abnormally yesterday, so I deserve the extra pound or so. I love running for a long period of time, but I trick myself psychologically into thinking I HAVE to eat more because of it...so yesterday, I had about 700 or 800 extra calories...in things like candy, peanut butter, frosting, etc. Most of it wasn't even good for my body! I've made a deal with myself. WHen I do have candy (maybe once or twice a week), I'm going to keep it to under 150 calories. Once I get started, it's really bad. I'm trying to keep my sweet tooth under control. I appreciated the comment yesterday about eating healthy dried fruit. Another thing that sometimes helps my sweet tooth are protein shakes...I have the low-calorie chocolate kind, and they do taste pretty good. Anyway...I want to have a GOOD weekend. The last three have been pretty rough with lots of food and goodies.
Why do so many special occasions revolve around food?????????????
- Thursday May 01, 2003
I'm back to normal!!!!!! Yea! Maybe it's because I got almost 8 full hours of sleep last night...or because I went another day without candy! That is such an accomplishment, because I bought some Easter candy at 50% off that I REALLY like, and I haven't opened it yet...and it's been over a week! I had a good 8-mile run this morning. I'm really looking forward to the big race next week. I've been wanting to run a 25K for 6 years. Just a reminder to those of you who may have only started to read my entries: "skinny people" have issues with food, too! My weight may look low, but I've been much higher than that...and I've had to really work hard to maintain this weight. Last night, I started to have some peanut butter, but stopped before it got out-of-control. That is one food that I can easily overdo it on...and I've managed to maintain control around it for a month, which is encouraging.
- Wednesday Apr 30, 2003
I went all yesterday without eating any candy...it was hard, but worth it. I think I maintained my 1,800 calories. At one point, I ate too much turkey that I'd picked up from a deli...what a weird thing to binge on! They had a cajun-flavored turkey lunchmeat, and I ordered 1/2 pound of it. Well, then I wanted to try it, so I made two mistakes: 1. I tried it on the way home in my car (I always eat more when I'm driving and not fully concentrating on the food) 2. I rationalized that I could have extra since I'd been "good" all day (but calories are still calories!)
ANyway, it could have been worse. And I'm back to 118 1/2 pounds.
On another note, I'm training for a 25K run for next Saturday. You'd think that running 5-10 miles a day would help me lose two pounds...ha! Instead, I gained two pounds! Anyway...it's probably because I tend to eat more when I'm training.
I came up with a recipe for a low-calorie snack: Make a box of sugar free strawberry jello and whisk in two tablespoons of low-cal sugar free strawberry jam. It adds some thickness and "punch." It was quite yummy! (And only 10 calories a serving!)
- Tuesday Apr 29, 2003
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....another pound up. THis adds to my confusion and anxiety. I met with my nutritionist yesterday, which is always an encouragement...but I must have overdone it on the snacks again. I'm getting lazy, I think. So I'm determined to keep my snacks to 500 calories total every day. I get myself in such trouble when I expand that number to 800 or 1000. It's so easy to add 200 extra calories...and so hard to burn it off! I wish I didn't like to eat so much...I wish I didn't feel a compulsion to eat so often.
I admire those of you who have a diet and stick with it. I was three pounds lighter three weeks ago...simply because I have trouble saying "no" to those goodies!
- Monday Apr 28, 2003
Still the same...I'm not too bummed, since I had a lot of goodies this weekend at the bridal shower and stuff like that. I have been doing better, though, about only having ONE piece of something I like, instead of three. I did have a moment of weakness today, though. There was cake in the teachers' lounge, and I started sneaking it when no one was looking. After a big piece, I realized that I was eating food that I didn't even want...it's not even a cake that I normally like! So I stopped. ANd I'm not even going back there again so I don't tempt myself.
I ended up giving away most of the leftover shower food, too...funny how I don't even miss it! It's weird, because I always have this attachment to goodies I bake, but I feel much better after I give them away so I don't end up eating all of them!
- Friday Apr 25, 2003
Somehow I'm down a pound, and I shouldn't be...I had an awful night last night! I felt like I woke up with a "hangover," but it definitely wasn't from alcohol! (I don't drink, period). Instead, I overdid it on food and paid for it greatly. Let me explain.
I was having a good day until I tried making these fancy homemade ice cream sandwiches for my sisters' bridal shower this weekend. Well, much to my dismay, the ice cream was too soft and runny and didn't spread well on the brownies, and the brownies weren't hard enough to hold up the ice cream...so without thinking, I started eating the brownies and the leftover ice cream because I was so frustrated! I wasn't even realizing what I was doing until I started to feel sick. Honestly, I don't know how much I ate. I ended up using the extra brownies to make a whipped cream trifle, which I know will taste good, but I was so disappointed that the original idea didn't work.
Right after I had that 5-minute binge time, I felt terrible. In fact, I needed to let off some of my anxiety, and I went outside for a run. (The whole time this was happening, my husband was gone...I rarely lose it when he's around). I ended up running for a half hour, which cleared my mind, and then I came back and did stretching exercises and crunches. But I was so wound up that I couldn't sleep...and couldn't sleep...and the chocolate was keeping my mind awake...and several hours later, I was still lying in bed.
Therefore, I received only several hours of sleep, felt pretty sick to my stomach, and spent some time this morning feeling a bit "hung over" from my binge. Let me tell you, it wasn't worth it. Those 5 minutes of stuffing my face was NOT worth it. I think I've learned a lesson here. Food can be a big problem when abused. I should know...caffeine keeps me awake, sugar adds pounds to my body, and I only feel badly about myself when I lose control.
So...today is a new day. I'm feeling better now, after my workout this morning and my high-fiber cereal for breakfast. The brownie dessert is in the freezer, where it should be...it doesn't even look the slightest bit tempting. Too much of a good thing can definitely be a bad thing. That's my lesson for the day.
- Thursday Apr 24, 2003
Well, the scales didn't budge this morning, although I did get a better rest last night! I could wallow in self-pity, since I am a good two pounds heavier than I was last Thursday, but I'm going to try to look on the bright side: I tried on a pair of pants that I bought two years ago when I was at least 5 pounds lighter, and they still fit! So that's a plus. In fact, they're not tight at all...so MAYBE, just MAYBE, I put on some muscle, and not fat.
I think I'm still taking in a couple hundred too many calories a day, though...so I need to lay off on the snacks a bit.
This weekend I have a bridal shower, and I'm preparing all the food...it's very dangerous for me, since I often like to sample everything I make...you know, make some extra so I can "try it." I really have to be careful, or I'll end up trying half the cake!!!!
- Wednesday Apr 23, 2003
Man, I am so thankful for the people who have written with suggestions and helpful information! Thanks to those who commented on my last entry. I'm not sure why I'm not sleeping well, but if I have caffeine before bed, it keeps me up. I never drink caffeinated pop, but once in awhile I'll have something with chocolate in it, and that might do it. For example, I had added cocoa powder to the angel food cake I made yesterday, but I figured that it was such a small amount that it wouldn't affect me...who knows? I'm usually VERY careful about the caffeine thing. It never affected me until I was diagnosed with hypothyroidianism...and my body has never been the same!
Maybe the reason I was down a couple of pounds two weeks ago was because I was on Spring break...and getting enough rest...and not working so long every day...hmmmmm...something to consider! Since I'm a teacher and I get my summers off, I usually relax quite a bit. I know that I never seem to worry about my weight during the summer months since I'm quite active and stress-free.
I guess it's a good thing I only have 7 more weeks of school!!!!!!!!! Although I do want to learn how to relax more during the week...maybe I'll take a bath tonight! I've heard that helps.
- Wednesday Apr 23, 2003
Thanks to my friends who left encouraging comments about my last entry. Unfortunately, this morning was worse! Somehow I've gained 3 1/2 pounds in two short weeks...the scale was even higher this morning! I KNOW that I haven't consumed an excess of 10,000 calories...I was so good yesterday! I did have some angel food cake, but I was pretty careful all day about what I ate and stayed far away from candy and lots of snacks. So this morning, when I came back from the gym, I was pretty upset. I just threw my gym clothes on the floor and ranted and raved for a couple of minutes to my husband. I think part of my frustration is that I haven't slept well in 3 nights...I've barely had 5 hours of sleep each night. I have no idea what my problem is...usually I sleep well.
I did some research this morning and found that a decrease in sleep can drastically affect hormone, glucose, and cortisol levels, which can lead to weight gain. I'd love to be able to blame the extra pounds on something like that, because I really can't see how I'm gaining it from what I eat. Yes, I did have a bad day on Sunday, but I've had great days since then, and continued to work out a couple of times a day, whether I'm walking, running, weight training, or doing toning videos.
Sometimes I just feel like I'm banging my head up against a wall. Two weeks ago, I was getting plenty of sleep and feeling a lot less stressed. Now I'm tossing and turning in bed and trying to relax...but it's not happening too well! I used to be able to take aspirin or over-the-counter sleeping pills if I'd have trouble sleeping, but those aren't working, either!
Anyway...today is a new day! I'm going to continue to eat well...at some point, my body will respond to it!
- Tuesday Apr 22, 2003
Yuck, yuck, yuck. The scale put me at the highest weight I've been in a month. Why? Probably because I ate sooo much this weekend! I tried to be really careful, but food was being served every hour, it seemed like! On Sunday, we had cake and ice cream for lunch, Easter candy, cake for dinner, Oreo pie, and more ice cream that night!!! Even though I had modest servings, I still had some...that pressure, you know? I had such a hard time saying "no." And I've only slept 10 hours in the past two days...so I'm pretty worn out! I've still exercised like crazy, but I must have eaten an excess of calories. I'm a bit discouraged, since it took me three weeks to drop the extra couple of pounds and only 3 days to put them back on!!!!!!!!! Well, I'm back to my normal eating routines, now, so hopefully I won't continue to go up.