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Soon2BThin - Sunday Nov 26, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Gooooood Morning!! I'm up and have finished my 3 miles of walking on the treadmill. Did the first 2 in 36:55, cut some time off there, and just messed around the last mile, total of 56:50. I was only going to do 2 miles but felt okay after 2 and kept saying "I think I can do another 1/4 mile" until I made the 3 mile mark. I feel great, except my upper thighs were hurting quite a bit and for the first mile or so, my chest hurt some, not as much as the other day, just a tightness, but it went away. Tomorrow I make my appointment for lab work and I'll also schedule one for after the results are in and I'll talk to her about the chest pain---again! I feel great now though.

Okay, I was listening to the radio while I did my stretches and heard the song "Stealing Kisses" by Faith Hill. Heard that one yet? It was kind of how I feel, I think. I mean, I'm 57 but I still want to be treated like I'm still 29, ya know? I want him to pull my ponytail and pat me on the butt, I know, TMI. And I think men think we want an honest man but, ya know, sometimes it's okay to lie and say we're beautiful and the best wife in the world, even though we know it's not true but we'll take that out later and remember it a million times over, right? And if we have to tell them that, it just doesn't seem as good some how. We just want them to automatically know. I know, it's not fair. But why can't they learn a little something on their own. Okay, rant over, sorry.

I never did get on the treadmill yesterday afternoon. Mom and I didn't shop at the Arts & Crafts thing much, there wasn't much there. We went to the grocery store right there for a few things and then headed over to Macayo's for lunch. Yum, Mexican food. She had some left for a box to take home, I didn't, lol. Chicken chimmichanga, my favorite! At least I didn't scarf down all the chips and salsa, just some. No margueritas either! A nice time anyway. My eating is still out of whack but I'm working on it, just not too hard, lol. Still haven't been on the scale.

Okay, time for my shower. Oh, we didn't go bowling this morning, I didn't feel like it, I'm too fat and all that. You know. So at least I did the walking. It's 9:30 and I'm hungry, haven't had brekky yet. So I'm going. Buh-bye, have a great day!

borntocry on 11/26/2006:
Yeah! Way to go, Soonie! Good for you!

I know what you mean about honest husbands - mine believes in total honesty and is always getting defensive, "Well, what do you want me to do - lie to you?" And obviously I can't say yes, but there are ways to pick and choose what to say, for heaven's sake! And as you said, we could ask them to be a little more sensitive and considerate, but then it just wouldn't be the same, would it? My husband would probably do anything I asked him to, but he'd just be following orders - it wouldn't really mean anything.


Moody on 11/26/2006:
What a great job you are doing with your exercise!!!! I am so proud of you!!

Yes I understand what you mean about your husband~and I understand what BTC wrote also. Men...need I say more? *sigh*


maria777 on 11/26/2006:
Yes, we want them to automatically know...maybe they, too, want us to automatically know...



Soon2BThin - Saturday Nov 25, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Day Six. Wait a minute, I don't think I'm going to keep counting like this. So it's just another day, lol. No exercise this morning. I know, you're saying, oh, no, there she goes again. Back off the wagon. But that's not it. I'm leaving here in a minute to go to an Arts & Crafts Fair with my Mom. Should be lots of fun and some walking around. The weather is sunny, a little nippy, about 60 degrees so pretty well perfect for this. And our Red Hat Lady queen said there should be some selling of the Red Hat Lady stuff, oh, boy! I plan to try walking on the treadmill later maybe, we'll see. As far as the chest pain thing, I had it checked out before and all was well. I'm going to try just going real slow at first and see what happens. Or maybe I won't even get to it. Maybe Mom and I will eat lunch out at our favorite place, Macayo's. In that case, I won't feel much like walking, lol. Like I said, we'll see. Okay, that's my day. Have a good one.

Moody on 11/25/2006:
Sounds like you have afun day planned with lots of walking! Hope you have a great time! And I'm glad the chest pain turned out to be nothing..take care..


borntocry on 11/25/2006:
Oh, glad to hear the chest pain is nothing serious. In that case, you have no excuse! You can walk really slowly if you don't feel like breaking a sweat!


WorkingIt on 11/25/2006:
Just catching up on your entries, looks like you are doing great! And UNO is a very fun game lol. I get chest pains from time to time but it is actually muscle spasms from my chest muscles but they can feel like something else. I usually stop whatever I'm doing, relax and if it doesn't get worse, I know it is either that or a little stress. So I know where you are coming from. Have a great day!!


maria777 on 11/25/2006:
Hope you and your Mom had a fun day today!


mattscat3295 on 11/26/2006:
Sounds like you had a fun day. I am glad to hear the chest pains were nothing. Try taking it slow on the treadmill to start out. Take care and have a wonderful Sunday.



Soon2BThin - Friday Nov 24, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Welcome to Day Five, or just Friday to the rest of you, lol!! Is it really only Day Five, she whines. Got up at 7, walked 3 miles on the treadmill, 2 miles at 37:07 and 3 miles total at 55:53. Not too shabby! I feel great! Except for awhile there, my thighs felt like huge, heavy hams and they hurt, heh. Could it have anything to do with the second helpings yesterday or perhaps the pie, you say? But I kept on going and felt better. I forgot to tell you, on Wednesday afternoon, I tried to walk some more, on the treadmill, and my chest started hurting after a few minutes, really bad, kinda tight. I kept going, thinking it would quit after awhile but it didn't, so after half a mile, I quit. It never does this in the morning. What's up with that?! Guess I'm a morning person after all, lol. So yesterday went well, everything turned out to be delicious! We thought we'd eat about 2 but ended up getting everything finished after 3. Had to make a run to the store for cranberries. Mom had told me Other Sis was bringing them so I didn't and there we were with no cranberries because Other Sis thought she was just supposed to bring the pies. DH and I drove to 3 stores before we finally found some. At least there wasn't any traffic. But like I said, everything was delicious, as usual. Did I mention EVERYTHING was DELICIOUS?? Bad Soonie ate way too much. I can't tell you what I liked the most, it was all DELICIOUS!! Now on to the rest of the holidays! Really I'm not worrying about the weight right now. I managed to button and zip my size 12 denim shorts yesterday (yep, I said SHORTS!) but opted for the size 14's, heh. It was sunny, got to about 80 degrees and we had all the doors and windows open. What a day! Anyway, I'm just taking it gradually, only making sure I do the exercise everyday and TRYING to eat right, just not trying too hard, lol. It'll come, I'm sure. Okay, time for brekky. Hope you all had a great turkey day and go out and have a good one today! IT'S FRIDAY!! Enjoy your day!

greengirl on 11/24/2006:
Sounds like you had a wonderful family Thanksgiving and the food sounds great too. I dont like the sound of the chest pain while exercising tho'. Perhaps you should have it checked out by a doc just to be on the safe side??


maria777 on 11/24/2006:
Wow, you're having some really warm weather over there! Our's has been CHILLY!!!

I overate on THanksgiving, too, but it was GOOD!!! BIG SMILE!!!


borntocry on 11/24/2006:
Hi Soonie!

Glad you had a nice Thanksgiving! I am following your example and just trying to get in the exercise. That's the least we can do, right? Although I agree, the chest pain does sound a little disturbing. Have you ever had asthma?

Thanks for the comment you left me. Yes, I feel kind of uncomfortable around other guys too. It's kind of hard to just blurt out, "I'm married!" but I kind of want to be sure they know that! You would think they would notice the wedding ring but one can never be sure with guys - they're so clueless!



Soon2BThin - Thursday Nov 23, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Here it is, Day 4! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! If you celebrate it, that is. And for the rest of you, HAPPY DAY!! Lol. So far Day 4 is going well. I got up (that's a start!) and have finished my 2 miles on the treadmill. Really the weather is so nice and a bit nippy (heh) this morning (50 degrees) I could be walking out in the bright sunshine but I'm sticking to the treadmill until further notice. So I did the 2 miles in 37:12, cut some off my time from yesterday. And I could have done more today, I felt great, but pressed for time today. I need to shower, eat brekky, dry my hair, and be at Mom's by 11 to help her put the turkey in the oven. With those roasting bags, the turkey (small turkey) doesn't take as much time so we should be eating by 2. YUM!! I'll try to control myself though. Speaking of the weather, it's clear skies, bright and sunny, and going up to 80 today!! Can't beat that! Like I said, I may get ambitious and take a walk later at Mom's too. After dinner, there will probably be some card playing and such like that. There's only 6 of us for dinner but BIL and Sis will be over about 4, after they eat at his Mom's. Okay, get out the money and the cards!! No, so far we don't play for money but I really think that would be fun. Probably start some great fights too, lol. It will probably just be UNO. I'll have to take the UNO Attack game too. Fun, fun!

Okay, Luv you guys, oh, and you ladies too, lmfao! Oh, almost forgot, I made BTC go for a run yesterday, how great is that??! You go, BTC! I'm so glad to see you running again. Nice to know I can inspire some people. Have a great day today, try not to eat too much, portion control and all that. See ya tomorrow!

smiley2 on 11/23/2006:
Happy Thanksgiving!!!! Enjoy the day with your family. Wx


maria777 on 11/23/2006:
Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Soonie!!!

Have fun and enjoy your dinner!

Good for you on the 2 miles walk this morning! WTG!!! BIG SMILE!



Soon2BThin - Wednesday Nov 22, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

And Day 3! Well, this is Day 3 and it's not over so I don't know how good it will be. But it is Day 3 of exercise!! I just did my 2 miles (oops, almost typed 3 there, heh) on the treadmill and when I finish, I feel like raising my arms and yelling "Ya-Taah"!! Lol. If you don't watch "Heroes" you won't know what I mean. (That guy is so cute!) Anyways, I did it in 37:38 this morning, cut 42 seconds off Monday's. And I felt great the whole time. Yay for that! Still not getting on the scale, maybe I won't until the holidays are over. You know, that Jan. 1 thing. Thanks for all the comments, you guys. Monet---Do you have any good suggestions of protein for brekky, besides the usual bacon and eggs? BTC---thanks for the info on digestive crackers and I know for sure my hunger is probably caused by too many carbs and not enough protein. Especially since I'm diabetic. I think it's an insulin thing. We must improve there. Biscottibody---great to see you!! Thanks for the info on the dLife. I'll check that out. I need all the info I can get right now. And I hope life gets better for you, although you're not sharing with us. That's okay, sometimes I share too much, lol! Maria---no Christmas shopping for me. I'm ordering luggage online for #1 son and DIL, when they came for the visit, they had the old kind with no wheels so right away I thought of that and the rest of us don't exchange gifts anymore so I'm going to buy a bunch of toys and donate them. It's such fun! I just give money to the other 2 sons, they need it always!

Okay, peeps, my eating isn't that good but hey, I'm enjoying the freedom. I'm thinking once I get it out of my system (no pun intended) I'll know when to start getting serious. I'm keeping a check on the blood sugar and trying to choose wisely. I think the exercise helps tremendously. And I will keep that up. I plan on walking every morning unless something comes up to stop me and may even take a walk while the dinner is cooking tomorrow at Mom's if I get bored. DH and brother will be busy putting up Mom's Christmas decorations, oh, joy! My DH is such a Bah-Humbug about it and doesn't do it for me and I kind of resent that but that's another story. Our decorating has always been up to me. Oh, well! Okay, time to make brekky. I always watch Regis and Kelley and now I watch The View too right after, so much going on these days, heh heh. I love it! Have a great day, you all! And Happy Turkey Day tomorrow, if I don't see you!

borntocry on 11/22/2006:
Do you like cheese? If so you could try having some low-fat cheese for breakfast, with crispbreads or even toast. There are many different kinds and it makes quite a satisfying snack, at least for me. I just don't feel like it as much in the winter because it's so cold here, I don't want anything straight from the refrigerator. But the good thing about it is that it's easy to make - you don't have to go cooking egg whites or anything.

If you like yogurt you can also try low-fat yogurt - you can mix in some berries or honey or just get a vanilla-flavoured kind if you don't like the taste of it plain. Once again, not something I feel like having too often in the winter!

The reason I say "low-fat" isn't just because of the fat but because the low-fat varieties are often higher in protein.

Anyway, good job on the exercise, and improving on your time! And have a happy thanksgiving!


WorkingIt on 11/22/2006:
Have a great Thanksgiving!


maria777 on 11/22/2006:
I eat different things for breakfast...sometimes egg and grits and toast, sometimes, fruit...today it was turkey, hehehe!

Happy Thanksgiving to you, Soonie! Have fun!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 11/22/2006:
sorry you don't like egg whites! I love them, the ones sold in the quart liquid containers, because you can have so much for so little, lol. They are really filling, and that's the feeling I personally like. Protein...there are some high protein cereals. Next, there are also high protein bars. Even quaker now makes a higher fiber/protein breakfast granola bar.


Scruffy on 11/22/2006:
It is great to see you upbeat and done with day 3 :)

Scruff


monet0239 on 11/22/2006:
Enjoy your Thanksgiving.. :)


borntocry on 11/23/2006:
Hey Soonie,

It was your entry which made me decide to go running yesterday when I couldn't make my mind up. I had a great workout. Thanks!!

And Happy Thanksgiving!



Soon2BThin - Tuesday Nov 21, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Hey, Day 2, I made it to Day 2!! Well, at least I'm up already, got up at 6:55 and walked for 2 miles on the treadmill. I'm not saying Day 1 was perfect but I guess I'm just like a toddler learning to walk, I did a couple steps but haven't made it clear across the room yet. Had some stumbles. Did my shopping so at least I wasn't sitting on my butt all day. Had brekky at 9 yesterday with Regis and Kelley and left here at 11. By noon I was hungry, I mean real hunger. By the time I got home at 2, I was ready to eat my arm off. So you could say lunch was out of control, lol. Although I could have eaten more but I did stop myself before the nauseous stage so that's progress. I know I had more witty things to say that I thought of when I was walking, but just can't think of them now, dernit, senior moment!! Nothing, my mind is blank! Okay, you all have a great day. I really need to get in here and read entries, I'm missing out on all the fun, lol. Love you guys!

monet0239 on 11/21/2006:
hey sweetie.. just a suggestion here.. but on brekky.. have some kinda protein.. it stays with you longer?? hope that helps.. hugs


borntocry on 11/21/2006:
You always do this! You let yourself get way too hungry. Of course then you're "out of control". I do the same thing when I don't eat all day at work, then the evening is a food-fest. Protein bars work well for me as an on-the-go snack, but if you don't like those you can try something else instead. Preferably something which you don't like <i>too</i> much, because then you could find yourself eating it even when you're not hungry.


maria777 on 11/21/2006:
Good for you on the 2 mile walk! Keep up the good work! Did you do some Christmas shopping??? Have a wonderful day! Big Smile!


WorkingIt on 11/21/2006:
YAY! Congrats! Glad to see you are sticking to learning along the way =)


maria777 on 11/21/2006:
Have a wonderful evening! Big Smile!


Scruffy on 11/21/2006:
Alriiiiight Day 2 over and gone and was good!!!! Onto Day 3 :)

Scruff


borntocry on 11/22/2006:
Hi Soonie!

Thanks for your comment! Do you think our constant hunger is because we don't eat enough protein? I also wonder if it could be because my iron levels are low... might start taking a supplement.

Oh and digestive crackers... they're the English version of graham crackers. They're round and slightly more crumbly, that's all. My husband likes them but can't get used to the bizarre name!



Soon2BThin - Monday Nov 20, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Day One #2,713!! And I got up and walked 2 miles on my treadmill! Deja Vu!! Here we go again. I think I've learned some things since last week though, maybe. Hard to believe, after all these years, there are still things to learn about myself and this journey. Oh, and I did the 2 miles in 38:20, in case anyone's interested. No records broken there but I did it. Go, me. Thank you all for the comments from yesterday's entry, you too, Scruff, even though you are a man (just kidding) and I know you are all so right. In my head, I know that. Sometimes I just like to let things he says like that fester awhile. Then I get over it. I'll do like you say, BTC, and ask him that next time he's watching sports, lol. And thanks for saying that pic made me look hot, did you mean literally? Lol. You're so sweet for saying that. Okay, WorkingIt, one of those 2 muffins didn't make it to this morning, I ate it last night. It was talking to me all night too. One more to go. I think I will save it for a treat this afternoon and then, THAT'S IT, NO MORE. I've just got to get my groove back! Here's the plan for today---shower, brekky, go to the Goodwill store (you really should try it, I've found some really good things there and bargains) go to Super WalMart and then the grocery. I'm in charge of the mashed potatoes for Thursday and I'm buying the ready-made ones. We had them last year and everyone loved them and so easy to make, lol! Gotta love that! I'm planning on making sweet potatoes too, my DH loves them. With the little marshmallows. So it should be a busy day today. Go out and have a great Monday!

smiley2 on 11/20/2006:
Sweet potatoes with marshmallows, mmmmmmmh sounds so yummy!


WorkingIt on 11/20/2006:
LOL ok..no more muffins after today! Unless you are taking them to the goodwill store =)


monet0239 on 11/20/2006:
Just checkin in on ya sweetie.. :).. Im making the sweet taters for my family too :).. have a great one.. hugs


maria777 on 11/20/2006:
Hey, Soonie! You sound very 'UP' today! Thanks for your comments to me. I know how it is...you have your favorite goodies and don't want to 'waste' them...(yeah, we can wear them but not waste them, hehehe!!!)...I was brought up with the saying, 'waste not, want not'...but how about 'waste not, wear it'...or how about 'waste not, walk 10 x longer than it takes to enjoy eating it or wear it'...Hubby bought me some chocolate covered almonds while we were at the beach and I had some of them tonite, and not just a 'few'...I reverted back to 'old time stress eating'...I thought about getting rid of them, but I don't want to cause 'he' bought them for me...Now we're looking at Thanksgiving holidays coming up and I LOVE baked turkey....YUMMMMMMMM!!!!!...

Well, I've gone on and on now...anyway, hope you have a good nite...I guess we all say things that we don't think of how they sound when we say them sometimes, having read your yesterday's entry....

Your sweet potatoes with the little marshmellows sounds delicious!

Have a good nite and good for you on the walking! WTG!!! BIG SMILE!

And good for you on praying! BIG, BIG SMILE!!!!!


Scruffy on 11/20/2006:
Scruff was here :)


borntocry on 11/21/2006:
Of course I meant literally, what else could I have meant - figuratively? I was astonished when I saw those pictures... I guess I had been reading about how "fat" and "old" you are for so long that like your husband I had come to assume that there must be something to it!



Soon2BThin - Sunday Nov 19, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Men! Don't get me started! Well, okay, the other day, I was watching the Dr. Phil that I'd taped the other day, you know, the one with the 2 anorexics. Talk about skinny! But I digress. DH was getting ready to go someplace (what's new, you can tell by my weight just how much he's been gone lately but I know, it's not his fault, it's mine, but I digress again) and as he went out the garage door from the kitchen to get something, I barely heard him say "Have you picked up any pointers?" I thought maybe I hadn't heard him correctly so gave him another chance and asked "What did you say" and the dumb#$* repeated it!! Well, I couldn't let him see how that affected me (problem here??) so I turned around and went back in the house. And thinking "I'll show him, I'll not eat anymore, I'll get so skinny he won't even be able to see me" you know, the usual things, lol! It's been on my mind ever since. Geez, could I really just eat 2 teaspoons of fiber cereal for brekky/lunch and whatever the small thing was she had for dinner (can't remember, see, I guess I forgot some of the "pointers", heh)? But seriously, I know I couldn't do that, heck, I'd get so hungry, I'd go off the deep end in a bag of chips and a bucket of ice cream for sure! (been there, done that!) The question is, could someone I love really hurt me this much? In the back of my mind, I know he didn't really mean anything (you laugh) but then I have gotten exceptionally rounder lately. You know, that thing Dr. Phil says keeps going through my head lately too "You teach people how to treat you" but after 38 years, how do you change that? Dr. Phiiiiil, where are you when I need you (whine)? Well, such is my life and now I've let you all have a small glimpse into it. Tune in for more tomorrow, lol. Hey, I don't want you to think my DH is a mean and cruel person, everyone loves him, he's a true saint, always helping other people. But he's like an old guy living in the '50's, you know, kinda like Archie Bunker. I think he missed the sexual revolution and women's lib, but that's another story for another day (don't worry, I won't go there??) Okay, that's enough rambling from the crazy lady, let's get down to business. I just ate my second muffin for the day!! I know, not doing so well. How did that 4 pack of muffins get in my cart this morning? And I made Cincinnati chili (Hi,BTC) this afternoon too, with spaghetti, grated cheese and those tiny little crackers too. And lots of leftovers. I know, put them in the freezer and I can't eat them hard (don't put it past me, heh) Okay, Maria, I'm going to try more prayer, I really need God's help in this. If this comes out sounding like I jest, be totally sure, I am deadly serious! I know prayer works (another story for another time)!! Okay, I'm trying not to get on the scale until I know for sure there is some drastic change. I'll let you know when that may happen. Nothing yet, lol. (big surprise) Man, I feel goofy today, sorry, must be the sugar high. Okay, I'll try to do better the rest of the day (it's 5pm) and tomorrow too. I really suck at this. I'm alone again too, DH went to BIL's to watch the Dallas game. I know, no excuse, I should have gotten on the treadmill. That's tomorrow morning's plan for sure. But what am I going to do with the other 2 muffins in my bedroom (don't look so shocked, I know you've all hidden food in your lifetime!)? I know, you're saying "put them in the trash" and I'll try but I'll have to hide them in the bottom somehow, so tedious, so much easier to eat them. Well, here I am again, letting too much of myself out there. Please be kind. I'm going now. Happy health to you all. One of these days I'll get here and do some checking up, I know that always helps me so I'll make a point of it. Ta-ta!

WorkingIt on 11/19/2006:
Sprinkle the muffins on the grass outside for the birds and squirrels. I've never hidden any food except from my oldest son so he wouldn't eat it all LOL. So I can't really relate to what you are going through.

As far as your husband, men communicate so oddly..they think they are being supportive when they aren't...My dad LOVES my mother to pieces but sometimes he seriously sticks his foot in his mouth and swallows LOL. I hear the way they rip on each other at work for being overweight. Men are not easy with each other so it only stands to reason that while they think they are cleaning it up some for us..they are really screwing up big time LOL.

I agree, prayer does work. My whole life is based on prayer and I wouldn't have the strength I do have if it weren't for my faith and prayer.

I think the only reason you suck at it is because you think you can't do it because of your recent experience with falling off the wagon. Look at how far you DID come, consider this a bump in the road and slowly work yourself back to that place where you feel better. And if you can't do the treadmill for 30 minutes or go very fast, just get on there and walk really slow even for a while. Just to remind your body and mind of how much you enjoy exercise.

Your prayers have already been answered in some respects as you are a diabetic who isn't suffering from something that cannot be reversed and are being given the opportunity to avoid many things. That means that someone up there thinks you are pretty special and has some special plans for you! **HUG**


Scruffy on 11/19/2006:
We can verbally butcher things and completely not mean to. We also are usually more logical and just see it this way or that.

Scruff


borntocry on 11/20/2006:
Hi Soonie,

You sound like you're going crazy!! I know how it is - been there, done that (and going there, doing that again soon)!

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry that your husband made such a cruel remark to you. But as Scruffy explained, and as you yourself realise, he probably didn't really mean anything by it. In a way, I think it is partly a case of "you teach people how to treat you". Most men, even those living in the '50's, wouldn't consider you overweight - you know that, don't you?! But after years of dieting, counting points, exercising, etc. your husband has probably figured out that <i>you</i> consider <i>yourself</i> overweight! Perhaps he even thought that you might be interested in picking up some tips from a couple of anorexic girls! I know that my husband always helpfully tells me when there's a show about diet or weight loss on TV!

Really, if your husband actually wanted to hurt you, I'm sure he wouldn't be so subtle about it. He probably thought it was funny to suggest that you take some pointers from a couple of anorexic girls. Guys tend to view anorexia as something absurd and slightly grotesque, not even remotely desirable (as we girls sometimes do, despite our better judgement!). Maybe the next time there's some sporting event on TV you should ask your husband whether he's picked up any pointers from watching the athletes. Now <i>that</i> would be funny!

IF you can do it, open the package of muffins and empty them into the trash! It only takes a second - one second of determination could spare you five hours on the treadmill!!

But if you can't do it, how about going shopping again, and this time loading up on some of your favourite healthy foods? This is something which always works for me, especially once I start eating some of those healthy foods, as I don't want to "waste" them by spending the rest of the day stuffing my face.

Also, why don't you take a look at those pictures you posted for us that time, dressed up in your purple outfit, and remind yourself of how hot you can look? It's time for a little reality check!


smiley2 on 11/20/2006:
If my DH said something like that i would have freaked out!! Even if i knew he didnt mean it lol! I guess sometimes dont think before they speak and we should just take it with a pinch of salt lol! Weight loss is a sore point for us all, but dont let it get to you, you are stronger than that and you have the power over how you are going to react!



Soon2BThin - Saturday Nov 18, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 0.0

Hello, hello!! Thank you, thank you, thank you to hollybelle, mattscat, maria777, and especially you, Workingit!! I appreciate your time and consideration! But, hey, back the truck up, lol! I didn't mean that I was throwing everything out the window!! I just meant that I was tired of counting points, the regimin and obsession of it all! I'm trying to watch my diet and make good decisions. But, BUT, I am not on a "diet", as we all are fond of saying. I'm just going to live, well, "normally", whatever that may mean. For me, it means I'm going to relax, well, maybe that's not the word. I don't know, hard to express what I mean. I'm 57!! years old and I feel like I've been doing this all my freaking life and I'M TIRED OF IT!! It doesn't work for me! I know all about what is good for you to eat, what I shouldn't eat, how I should be exercising and all that! I just want to take it one minute at a time and do what I can. All the rest hasn't worked for me in the long term. Maybe this is just temporary, I don't know, I just feel like I need to change my life. 'bout time, huh? Oh, I need to add, it's funny? but that day I last wrote and bared all, that night I watched the new "Medium" (did any of you see that?) her boss had diabetes and didn't know it, hadn't seen a doctor, and he woke up blind!!! It was just temporary and his blood sugar levels were sky high so once he got them under control, his sight came back. Anyway, I took that show as a sort of wake-up call, as if I really needed one. I mean, I KNOW all this stuff. But I just felt like it was a little personal message from God? just to me and, believe me, it did make a difference in how I saw things! Sugar is my drug of choice and I need to get it right out of my life! Right now! I'm trying but you know, what Workingit said made sense to me. I am under the sugar's control right now, the more I eat it, the more I am not really myself. If I can just get through a few days without it, I know I will change how I feel. Right now, right now, today, this minute, I WILL do this, get it out of my life. That is my challenge, that is my goal. Seems so stupid, so easy, to just do this, right? But it feels so good knowing I have my friends here behind me, if no one else in my "real" life. Thank you! I hope this all makes some sense. I feel kind of erratic in my thinking. See ya tomorrow!

rjf on 11/18/2006:
*hugs* I'm so proud of you for continuing to try. I know it gets hard sometimes. We all have our battles to fight one day at a time. I know there are many times I just want to stop and say......Dammit, I'll just be this size the rest of my life.....but I know I can't.....I have to keep trying. I'm fighting another addiction as well and I know that I have to take it one day at a time....sometimes.....one minute at a time. I don't know much about diabetes, but I hope you can work out what you need to. Just know that we are here for you!!!! *smiles*


WorkingIt on 11/18/2006:
(((((((((HUG)))))))))))) It all makes perfect sense =) I wish you nothing but the best as it seems that the things we are told we cannot have, are the very things we want. I look forward to you feeling better and conquering your sugar!


mattscat3295 on 11/18/2006:
I am soooo proud of you for facing this and taking it in control your own way. I know you can do it, we are all hanging in here with you. Take care of yourself ********HUGS********


maria777 on 11/18/2006:
OHHH!!! So glad you are back, Soonie! Yes, I know, sugar can sure be addicting...you know I LOVE sweets!!!

Anyway, you sound so positive! With the Lord's help you CAN make it!!! He is our strength!

Have a good evening, Soonie!



Soon2BThin - Wednesday Nov 15, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 164.0

Weight unknown. Probably worse than yesterday. Eating not good. Mom still in hospital. Doing tests. She's not feeling too badly though now. Morphine, heh. They have her on a clear liquid diet. Hey, that's what I need! Lol Wish I could do that just one day, know I can't. I did a lot of thinking last night. DH was staying at Mom's house to take care of Sis and BIL's dog that Mom was taking care of while they are in N. Carolina, Duke University, for some surgery on BIL's skull for infection, but that's another story. Anyway, all alone, lots of thinking about me, type 2 diabetes, my eating, my aches and pains, what I'm doing to my body with eating wrong. Anyways....I'm going to do better, I swear. "I" have to do it, no one else can, I can't just put it out of my mind and expect to live a long, healthy life. I'm afraid I've already caused some damage from the diabetes and the sugar I've been eating, too many carbs, such as that (Hi, Geevee) So long story short, I've scared myself into doing better. But sometimes, in the light of day, things don't seem so bad and I fool myself into thinking I can get away with it. This has to end! But I'm going to try something new, staying off the scale, not counting points (been there, done that!) just trying to eat right, the things I know I should be eating, doing as much exercise as I can but not obsessing about it. What do you think? This morning I ate 2 eggs, scrambled, with 3 lf sausage links and green tea, no bread. (7 points, it's just such a habit now) I know I can't keep eating eggs every day and I'm not crazy about the egg substitutes so give me some suggestions for brekky, okay? What can I eat? Maybe the instant oatmeal only without the usual 2 slices of toast I usually have? Not putting the honey in my tea either anymore. Anyway that's just part of the thinking I was doing last night. I've never been able to understand people who have an addiction (go figure) cigarettes, drugs, way overeating, weighing hundreds of pounds. I never could understand how people could harm themselves this way so willingly. HUH?? Here I've been doing the same thing to myself, refusing to admit that I have a problem, I am diabetic (okay, type 2 diabetes, not the type 1, but still unhealthy and dangerous) I am just as bad? what would you call it? as they are!! Okay, I'm going to need lots of help--from my friends here, of course. I went to the library and checked out the Diabetes books again, going to read about what I SHOULD be doing, help with the diet, all that. Here goes. Let's hope Soonie has finally woken up and seen the light. Or she may not be around much longer or have to live her life blind, without her legs, as a stroke victim or heart disease. Diabetes can affect so many things with the body. If it's not kept under control. I'm sure when I go to the doc and have the tests done again, the numbers will be dangerously up. Must do that soon. She may even want to put me on insulin this time. Okay, hope I haven't bored you all too much today. Hope you all don't think I'm really soooo stupid, I know I have been! Thanks.

Progress as of today: -0.2 lbs lost so far, only 24 lbs to go!

WorkingIt on 11/15/2006:
My father has diabetes. It was diagnosed after an incident in which he sat in his favorite chair in his house with a shotgun under his chin telling my mother he wanted to die. Reason? His sugar was so out of kilter that he was mentally confused. I have diabetics that work for me, when they don't take care of themselves, they also spin out of control and cannot think straight. My grandmother was a diabetic and she died weighing well over 300 pounds. My father has had a triple bypass and his veins are so badly damaged from not taking care of his diabetes that they told him that the next time they will not be able to do bypass surgery. He has also had a toe amputated. My grandmother ended up with a colostemy bag, and was a mental mess most of the time. One of my former employees had his leg amputated just below the knee because gangrene set in.

I say this gently because I've seen it time and again in diabetics, and both types of diabetes are bad...all the people I mentioned have type 2. At any rate, it is my opinion that your blood sugar levels have been off for a while and this is why you are at the state you are in and feeling as if you can't get hold of the situation.

You should go to your doctor, explain that you haven't been eating properly (trust me, they are more than used to this confession) and that you would like to better understand what you need to do to get on track, lose the weight, and eat the best way for your condition. And, as far as you relaxing and not keeping track of what you eat..that will not work. As much as a pain that it is (which is the biggest reason diabetics don't take preventative care of themselves) it is the only way that a diabetic can manage the diabetes unless they want it to kill them. However, there is also something mentally soothing and calming about taking control of your condition. Think about it, while it may be a 'pain' to count calories, sugar grams, etc. think about how quickly you would be able to do it if you were laying in the hospital getting ready to go into open heart surgery and making your plans the night before with your children 'in case' you don't make it back out of that room. Or spending the night going down memory lane with your husband while he lays beside you in that hospital bed, holding you tight because he knows that there is a very real possibility that when they push your gurney through those doors that he may never see you alive again. You would be making all kinds of promises to your family, God and yourself that if you are allowed to live, that you will do right by your body. And then say this surgery is a success, your veins are still badly damaged, you still have plaque buildup, you are still not healthy because you've damaged yourself...and your husband and family are told by the heart surgeon that "you shouldn't think of quantity of life, consider the quality" and then being told "this surgery may last ten years, up to 15 if she takes care of herself." And you are only 50 when the doctor says this...and now you live your life on a timeline and you wish you could go back in time when it would have been so easy just to count the calories and the sugar and the fats and everything else. Much easier. Suddenly it would all look so simple and easy. Yeah, this is what happened to my dad. He is 60 years old now. It has been 10 years. His quality of life is diminishing and it breaks my heart to know that if he'd only taken care of himself when he was diagnozed at 36, he might not have to be in so much physical pain and poor health. And he knows it as well.

What are you willing to give up so that you can eat like it doesn't matter? Is your freedom to eat whatever, whenever, without 'worrying' about what it will cost you, more important than what it will cost you? If you are willing to die for FOOD, then so be it.

The one thing I will NEVER do is to sugar coat (no pun intended, trust me) the advice I give to diabetics because I have seen the hell it creates for the diabetic when it all catches up to them, and lived the hell it creates for those who love the diabetic.

Dieting is a pain if you think about it as deprivation. If you think of your diet as your way of LIFE so that you can continue LIVING your life and realize that this isn't something you are doing to drop a quick 20 pounds, this is something you are doing to save your sight, your legs, your colon, your heart, and to give you more time to spend with the people you love and not rob them of the time they have with you, just so you can eat a donut or sneak a candy bar or gorge yourself because you are sick of a disease controlling what you eat and you rebell at the cost of your own safety, then it might make more sense to you.

Your emotions are wound up because your sugar is out of line. Had I known you were diabetic before this, I would have been all over you earlier. There is no game to be played with diabetes, if you play a game with it, you lose.

The man who had his leg amputated, he blacked out one day while driving his children home from school. He plowed into the back of a bunch of parked cars in a lot just off the road. His kids were bumped and bruised but did not die. He did not die. There weren't any people in the parked cars. Does he take care of his sugar to this day? No he doesn't. He has decided that he is willing to pay the price to the grim reaper rather than 'give into' what the doctor is telling him..firmly believing that HE is in charge of the illness...and the illness doesn't give a good damn who he is or that he has children..it continues to kill him. He is 40 years old.

Get serious before you cause harm to yourself. Diabetes is a silent killer, quietly doing damage that you will never know about until it has destroyed whatever it is attacking at this very moment, and then you'll know.

Every day that you don't take care of yourself is 24 more hours that your illness has had free reign to ruin your body and get you that much closer to dying. If food is worth it, then I guess there is nothing anyone can say.

I am not trying to be evil to you, I am actually quite heavy-hearted about this. You WILL be ok. Get your sugar back under control and that will clear the fog and you will be ok. Don't give up on yourself and let it trap you. You are worth more than that! **HUGS**


WorkingIt on 11/15/2006:
By the way, I do not think you are stupid. Far from it. In fact, I've always thought you were very intelligent. Reading back on your entries I can see how progressively your sugar is getting to you. Go see your doctor. TRUST ME they are USED to this.


hollybelle on 11/15/2006:
You are NOT stupid, sweetie. WorkingIt said everything. She is right - you need to go to your doctor. You may need insulin now. Your thinking and your emotions are probably tilted right now because your sugar is off - and you have been under such stress lately (probably for a long time). The worst thing you can do is continue to ignore the fact that you have diabetes. I also know from experience in my family. My brother was Type 1 diabetic diagnosed around age 15. He passsed away last year at age 49. He had lost a leg to the disease and was about to lose the other. He was almost blind, and he used tdo morbidly joke that his heart was held together with scotch tape and staples (he had stints and other devices). All his life he chose to live like he didn't have diabetes. He thought he could get away with just ignoring the fact he was diabetic and could eat/live/be like everyone else. It's not true although there are many great inovations in the treatment of diabetes - everything from the new glucose monitors to the insulin pumps. If you don't have a good doctor - an endocrinologist who specializes in diabetic patients, get one. You can't sweep it under the carpet. You must face it head-on! HUGS and all things good........Holly


mattscat3295 on 11/16/2006:
YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!!!!! You are just asking for help and that is a good thing. I suggest going to your dr and asking him to set you up with a dietician that can help you with your diabetes(they did this for my father in-law). It really put things in perspective for him and helped him in the long run. Take care of yourself****HUGS**** and have a great day.


maria777 on 11/17/2006:
Miss you, Soon!



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