- Thursday Feb 16, 2006
Made it to bowling this morning. Mom is doing somewhat better. Also did a weigh-in on my scale this morning. No surprises there. After bowling we ate at Applebee's. Mmmmm, the WW menu. I had the new Confetti Chicken. Very good. I don't know how they do it. Supposedly it was only 7 points, even had a little cheese with the rice, corn, black beans. Of course, it was smaller portions but really enough, not those over-sized portions you get of everything else on the menu. And a veggie medley of broccoli, carrots and, darned if I can think of that other veggie, but DH ate it, I don't like it. Funny, that's happening a lot lately, I sit and try to think of a word and sometimes it comes to me and sometimes it doesn't. Old age? My Dad had Alzeheimers and I worry about it all the time. Anyways....we enjoyed our time out, just the 2 of us.
Okay, just wanted to check in here. I know it's later than usual. Hope you're all doing well today. I just may get to the gym tomorrow, who knows? That's the plan, Stan. See ya.
- Wednesday Feb 15, 2006
Still waiting for that little spark that makes me feel like doing something productive...I felt it last night for just a second, but I was at my Mom's house to stay the night with her so nothing to do but watch TV and go to bed. She just wanted someone there cause it's scary to be alone and be so sick although she was feeling slightly better. So I may stay again tonight, I don't know. She seemed lots better this morning and ate a banana and some Boost and went back to bed after an hour. She's scheduled for an upper endoscopy next Thursday so maybe they'll find something in that. She had one back in '04 and she had some inflamation in her stomach even then, probably got worse with the drinking. She says she hasn't had a drink in 3 weeks so that's a good thing. I hope she keeps it up. And she's lost over 15 pounds in just the last month!! Not a good way to do it though. I hope she will be able to keep it off. You know how it is, once you feel better, you start eating all the things you couldn't while you were sick. So if I stay with her tonight, I will miss bowling tomorrow, I guess. Waaah! Poor me, haha! My house is a mess and I really need to feel that spark. Came home from Mom's and colored my hair, it was so light from all the salt water and sun I guess, so at least I've done something. Too bad I think it's turned out too red again.
Well, that's my day. The weather is beautiful but windy today and I know I should be taking advantage of it and going for a good walk. Gosh, haven't done that in so long but I won't, I don't wanna. Bad Soonie! Will she ever change her ways? Tune in tomorrow and find out. Bwahahaha! See ya. Have a good one.
- Tuesday Feb 14, 2006
Ho hum. Another Tuesday. What can I say? It's early for me--7:40am. I got up early to shower and do my hair. Mom has a doctor's appointment at 11:15 this morning so I will be driving her again. I know, getting up at 7 really isn't that early but I've become so slack lately. I feel like every day is just the same as the one before and it's so boring. When will I ever get out of this? I know, I need to exercise but I'm so tired. I know the endorphins would do me good. The radio comes on at 7 and the first word out of my mouth is S@#$%, to no one, actually, no one is there. Sorry I'm so gloomy this morning. I know it will pass, it always does. I'm so behind on everything and that just makes it worse. There are some things I haven't mentioned here that are bothering me and it would take too long to explain. Having to do with #3 son living with us. I see no end in sight to that. Hey, it is cloudy this morning, maybe that's why my day is off to such a bad start. Not used to the clouds here. Going up to 79 today, they say.
Okay, enough gloom and doom from Soonie for one day. Thanks for the offer, BTC. But I said I'd never go back there, haha! I doubt I could get ready for a half-marathon anyway. It would be fun though. Are you really planning on doing it? I do feel very old right now, that's all. I'll get over it someday. Love you all, thanks for the comments. How ya doin', Maria?
Oops, I forgot, Happy Valentine's Day!! Hah, Valentine's Day. Whoopee!
- Monday Feb 13, 2006
Okaaaaay! Sorry about yesterday. Of course, it's okay for everyone to express their feelings here, I wasn't saying anything against that. I just knew I was stepping on shaky ground and I shouldn't have said anything. It's so hard to say things here in writing and have it come out right. I was only trying to get accross a little of my experience to everyone. I feel like I've spent my whole life not liking myself and now that I'm old, I feel like it was such a waste. You know the old saying, I wish I could go back and do it over, knowing what I know now. And I do understand that you can be dissatisfied with your body even if you weigh a lot less than I do. Did that come out right? Anyways....
A new day, a new week, and Soonie's starting over again, hah! Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you don't hate me.
- Sunday Feb 12, 2006
I think I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still drowning in depression right now but I think things are making a turn for the better. I didn't want to get up this morning and seriously thought about staying in bed all day. Why not? What do I have to get up for? So finally about 10:00 I got up and did the usual morning things. And I did head out for McD's for breakfast. Hey, it gave me something to do. A sort of direction. A wrong one, I know, but that's what I did. Scale said 164 this morning. I am so floundering! My brain is still foggy from vacation let-down. That's the only explanation I have. Time to wake up and get with it, Soonie!! I can't keep going on like this. I'm sitting here, my jeans so tight around the middle I can barely breathe. I hate that feeling, who doesn't? At least I have my bottle of water here next to me to guzzle. I think that's all I will have for the rest of the day, water! No food even sounds good to me right now, ugh! Okay, this is it, no more fooling around. I'm pulling myself out of this right now. Here's to the new, improved Soonie!! Go, go, go....
*UPDATE* I just had to add this and I really don't know how to say it! I really don't want to offend anyone here. But....My heart aches for those of you who weigh in around 120 or even less. You all seem so unsatisfied and angry and not happy. Now I can understand that you want to weigh even less and you have to stay on top of things so they don't get out of control, but I remember when I weighed a lot less than I do now and I was not happy at all either. Thus I feel now that I wasted all that time being unhappy with myself and now look at me! I'm not saying that you'll end up like me but I wish you could just enjoy your low weight sometimes now. Things could be a lot worse. I love you guys and it makes me sad that you all work so hard and don't even enjoy the outcome. Please, please don't take offense with me. I guess I just want to slap you out of it, ya know? Haha! Life is good no matter what we weigh, right? I just read all the entries today and just had to put my 2 cents worth in. Take it from an old lady with experience.
- Friday Feb 10, 2006
I don't know what's going on---I'm so tired and just don't feel like doing anything at all. Just not motivated. I have been helping out my Mom the last few days, we don't know what is causing her problem, severe nausea, but if I get her to take the pills, she does feel better. And she quit drinking! Maybe she's just going through some kind of withdrawal. Anyways, that's about all I've done lately. All I want to do is sleep. I guess I just have to fight that and make myself do something. I'm finally all caught up on my e-mail, I still have my soap to catch up on. I know I really need to just make myself get back into a routine of going to the gym too. Oh, well, I know it will all fall into place soon. I guess I'm just having after-vacation letdown. I sure miss that fresh pineapple, mmmmm! Okay, just wanted to check in here and let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Soonie's just struggling. Have a great weekend.
- Wednesday Feb 08, 2006
Okay, time to regroup. This is the hard part---starting up again. All I want to do is relax and catch up on my soap that I recorded while I was gone. It's always so hard to get back in the diet and exercise thing again. Yesterday wasn't good. I ate what I wanted and did no exercise except for unpacking. Maybe I still have jet-lag?? At least I got up at a decent time this morning. It's now 8:25am. I so wanted to stay in bed. I guess I just have to ease myself into it again. Otherwise, nothing new here. Didn't get on the scale this morning, I know what it will say and it's not good. So I'll wait. Nothing planned today---I know, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Oh, well. Like I said---easing. So you all have a great day. Maybe I'll find time to get here and check up on how you're all doing. I'll see ya later.
- Tuesday Feb 07, 2006
I'm b-a-a-ack! Well, good news--I only gained 8 tenths of a pound! I'm happy with that. Not too bad! It must have been all the activity and I didn't get dinner last night. Did you know that they don't serve a meal on the planes now? Even on the long flights? At least not on United. Oh, you can buy a sort-of meal for 5 bucks, salad or a wrap, very small wrap (DH had it) but I wasn't falling for that. I made my meal from the little pack of crackers and DH's chips, that's all. Lunch we split a sandwich at the Maui airport before we left. So I really didn't have much to eat yesterday.
Well, what can I say?! The trip was a dream. Everything went perfectly and we had the best time. Our last day there, Sunday, we went down the road to Denny's and had dinner, split a sandwich, then went next door to the ice cream store, best ice cream in the world! I always end up getting the coconut, macadamia nut, fudge, mmmmmmm! Then we crossed the road to the beach and watched the sun set into the ocean. How great is that? And you know what I realized? I couldn't have had a better time even if I had been skinnier!! I was so busy having a good time, even in my bathing suit, that I just didn't think about being fat!! But it's really good to get back home. One week there was plenty enough for us. And I missed my computer, heh. And the DD. Oh, BTW, we were in Maui, gg. Second time for us. It's a beautiful island, that's for sure. And so small you have no trouble seeing the whole thing. And I SNORKELED!! Twice! I was nervous at first, getting into that salt water. I never had been before. And the water was only 73 degrees so it takes your breath away at first. But it was soooo fun! I loved it. And all the pretty fishies! Okay, I'll stop going on and on about it.
Soonie is back and ready to get started again. I feel great but a little tired. We got in this morning at 12:30, home and in bed at 2:00. But I had enough sleep (good to get back in my own bed, heh). Now I just have to unpack, hate that part. I'm looking forward to catching up with you all. So I'll see you bright and fresh tomorrow morning. Soonie, out!
- Saturday Feb 04, 2006
Aloha! It's really windy here today. We don't have any idea of what to do today. Tomorrow is the second snorkel trip, looking forward to that. I hope it's not as windy as today. Diet-wise, I'm not really paying attention to what goes into my stomach, heh. But I don't think I'm doing too badly. Those chocolate-covered macadamia nuts keep jumping into my shopping bag. Oh, well, 2 more days and things will be sorta back to normal. I just dread that long plane ride back on Monday. At least we don't have a long layover in LA this time. Okay, I hope you're all well and staying strong. See ya later.
- Friday Feb 03, 2006
ALO-O-OHA!! Here I am again. We went snorkeling for my first time this morning. A huge pontoon boat took us out to this great, calm place and I was pretty nervous at first, but it was really fun. In fact, so much fun we've already booked to go back on Sunday morning. Hey, guess what. The pineapples here are incredibly tastier than on the mainland, heh. I've been eating them like crazy. Great snack! Okay, that's it for now. See ya soon.