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Soon2BThin - Wednesday Jan 11, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

BEEP BEEP BEEP *RANT ALERT* I just can't do this, people! I got on the scale this morning---161.6!! Waah! I can't do it! I give up! Who am I kidding? I've been here at the DD for more than 5 years and I haven't done it yet! I guess I'm just supposed to be fat! Okay, I haven't been eating the way I should but, darnit, I'm not exactly pigging out every day. If I don't eat just right, my weight goes up. I'm exercising pretty good, I think, doing as much as my body is able, but it just ain't working. I HATE THIS! Always monitoring every bite I take and worrying if I'm gonna lose enough by a certain time. So today, I'm going on strike! Yep, I'm going to do whatever I want, eat whatever I want! I know, I'll regret it for sure afterward but I've already decided, that's it! Soonie is going on a rampage! DH is gone fishing for the day too, so that always makes me weak on top of every thing else. I can eat without someone watching over me. Man, this really sounds lame even to me. I'm just fed up (could be a pun, heh) Sorry, my friends, don't mean to bring you down. Don't pay attention to me. You all stay strong and do the best ya can, okay? Okay, McD's is calling me for breakfast. Sorry again. Have a good one!

sylph on 01/11/2006:
You know you havent gotten results because you havent changed your patterns...keep this up and in a years time you will be 170 lbs or more then youd be looking back wishing for that 161.6. I got down to 160 last year only to end up at 180. Puts a whole new perspective on things.

We know its not "our program or diet" thats failing us...we are failing ourselves. Its time to grab back power. Take this day and really decide what you want..do you really feel you owe it to yourself because you love yourself to lose some weight..would you be happier with yourself. Or can you be satisfied with your weight currently, work on maintaining weight,nuturing yourself as you are and drop this cycle of trying to lose this weight.

Step back from the darkness of frustration and disapointment and really look realistically at the two choices, decide then commit...either choice is nuturing, but where you are right now..constantly pushing and then basing your value on a scale number isnt..and it wrecks self-esteem.

If you want to lose weight ..maybe you need to look and revise your plan..maybe you want to lose too much too quickly and are setting yourself for failure. Maybe your setting your calories too low, maybe you make excuses and dont get your exercise in consistently, maybe you still eat trigger foods, or havent figured out what foods to stay away from save for occasional treats. If you want to lose the weight then you know what youve been doing hasnt been working. Take your day off today...then think things through and start fresh with a revised and realistic plan. Even slow and steady wins over not getting there at all. For instance even if you set yourself a 2 pound a month weight loss...in a years time you will be 138 pounds in 2 years time 114 pounds..with a complete change around of lifestyle, way of eating, and habits. Yes its slow, but you will be there opposed to you spending the last 5 years going nowhere and feeling frustrated. Stop. Think. Plan. Focus. Nuture yourself. Begin. None of us are victims to food unless we surrender power to it..you know you have the power within yourself to do anything you have your mind set on. Seize your esteem, self-respect and power back, its yours.

sylph on 01/11/2006:
K...a few more things real quick..I just read back through your journal some. lol.

You need to either (and I think you know this) only weigh yourself once a week UNLESS you keep it in mind to look at the overall trend and use the daily weigh in as a tool for that. Is your weight moving downwards over all?

A week ago you were 162.4....at 161.6 you are at a .8 loss for this week! WTG thats awesome ...and yet you are beating yourself up over there...and sabotoging your efforts..definately the daily number and sabotoging is something you need to look at. A .8 pound loss per week puts you at about a 42lb loss for a years time..and yet because you are sunk into that daily number on the scale you will overeat today and possibly lose that .8 loss. You may be in a cycle of doing this ..if you recognize that you are...STOP IT. lol =)

The physical activity, workouts, bowling...looks great. Are you keeping track of your measurements? Muscle weighs more than fat you can be losing body fat and gaining muscle...the scale wont reflect it. The scale is pretty much evil save for its one shining glory of being able to tell you TRENDS( is your weight moving down overall or up overall ..over a period of time).

Lastly...is it near your period. I will always have one or two days before where I feel like eating everything in sight, its normal dont beat yourself up for it, and itll balance out later.

geevee on 01/11/2006:
Sylph made some very pertinent comments - right on target! listen to her!

What shall I call it? Turn around time? I'm referring to changing the direction our weight goes. It's as if our bodies are in a habit and are having a difficult time reversing course. There are a goodly number of us with this problem. That's for sure! Don't give up. Stick with it.

I used to be 5'2 3/4" but I've shrunk to 5'2". I'm beginning to wonder if I haven't shrunk even more because everyone seems so much taller!

Our supermarkets in Miami are loaded with cantalope all year long. The best part is the high quality. When we were driving around the US for a few summers I noticed the difference in available food in the middle of the country. Generally speaking, it was old and of poor quality, so I know what you're talking about.

I picked up two different cantalopes called "Florida cantalopes" at the Latin American market. They were just a bit smaller, a grayish color withgreen stripes. Very interesting. I let them sit on the table for 3 days until I could smell the fragrance and then cut one open. I really can't see much of a difference tastewise, but the price at 79� was great! We get fruit from Chile, Central America, California and Florida of course.

I also eat a lot of papaya because it's so cheap and good, plus the tropical fruits that don't have a long shelf life and probably never make it out of Florida.

Soon2BThin - Tuesday Jan 10, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

Thanks, sweetpea1977, for clueing me in on Smart Balance. I'll have to try that when the Brummel and Brown is gone. And I just bought a new one too, darnit!

Well, I'm late today. Had an appointment at the lab early this morning and went from there to the gym for a nice 3 mile walk. Only planned on doing 2 but felt pretty good after that and just kept on going. Also did 36 crunches on the machine. And here it is, 1:15 already. I feel like the day is almost over already, I've done so much so far. Oh, and the food part is going well so far today too. Not so great yesterday.

Yesterday I didn't get to the gym and I'll try to explain why. On Sunday, after DH and I finished bowliing, he talked to the young guy who worked there about my problem lately with bowling, I suck, actually. He mentioned a lady we met last summer there who was helping with the seniors who were bowling while we were there. Anyway, she thought I was a pretty good bowler. We left a message with bowling alley guy for her to give me a call about maybe helping me out with my problem. Something has changed and I can't figure out what it is. Anyway, she called just before I was leaving yesterday for the gym and asked if I could meet her there at 2:30 so I said yes. And I figured I couldn't get to the gym, do my workout, get home, shower, eat lunch and dry my hair all before 2 when I would have to leave for the bowling alley. So I said okay, bowling will be my exercise for the day. And, actually, she did help me a lot and her hubby came with her, they spend a lot of time there, helping people out with their bowling and also help the high school kids too several days a week. And he gave me some good advice too. Anyways, the problem seems to be that I have a limp wrist when I throw the ball and I need a brace for that. She let me borrow hers for awhile and it helped a lot. I was so grateful. Trouble is, the pro shop didn't have one in stock the right size so he had to order one, may be in on Friday. I can't wait to get some practice with it. I luv's me some good bowling, peeps! Did I tell you I had a perfect game once? Brag, brag! Hahaha! My only claim to fame, hah! 1999 and haven't been close since. But I enjoy it. So missing my workout at the gym was worth it to me. And I've sorta made a new friend and learned some new tricks with bowling. Okay, that's the story.

Tomorrow will be the gym and a super workout. Oh, I have to tell you about this itty bitty girl at my gym. I swear, she can't be 5 foot tall and not even weigh a hundred pounds but I see her workout a lot with a trainer doing boxing. And today she was running around the track---backwards!! Wow, I can't even run forwards, haha! BTW, still having some knee pain but didn't need the brace today and I think tomorrow I will do the leg exercises too. We'll see.

Okay, long-winded today. I'm feeling great and doing pretty well, thank goodness. 3 weeks from yesterday we will be in Maui! Whoopee! Wish I was skinnier but not going to let it ruin my fun. I hope you're all doing great. I'll be back later to read entries. See ya tomorrow!

Soon2BThin - Monday Jan 09, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

*Yawn* So tired this morning! I didn't have a very good night's sleep. Anyways...forgot to weigh this morning and I wasn't going to take my clothes back off so I have a reprieve, sort of. Probably up some anyway. All dressed for the gym but I may just do a short workout. Feel so crappy.

Okay, that's it for me. How's y'all doin'? We were sorely disappointed with the Bengal's game yesterday, darnit. They lost their starting quarterback in their second play with the ball but Kitna was pretty good. They had a great first half but one half does not make a whole game, heh. Too bad. DH was wearing his Bengals helmet most of the time, looking so cute so I took some pics and filmed him cheering them on. Poor guy. Okay, get out there and have a great Monday! See ya tomorrow!

jolt on 01/09/2006:
It must be a monday morning thing lol.. I am exhausted today, and didn't want to get out of bed. The whole family had a rotten sleep not sure why... Perhaps change in weather or something...

Good luck this week


the_new_chapter on 01/09/2006:
Thanks for the warm welcome!

I'm a Cincy fan all the way (Reds and Bengals) I was born and raised just north of Cincy. I could barely watch the second half of the game. As soon as I saw Palmer go down, I thought it was the end. Then Kitna was doing all right that 1st half. Then came the second half and the bloopers reel began....

Sigh. I love Ben Rothlisberger (Miami U Grad) but I hate those Steelers. :-(

There's always next year!

sweetpea1977 on 01/09/2006:
Hey Soonie,

Im sorry you didnt sleep well. I hope you get a better rest tonight!

I love butter and Smart Balance is a great substitute. My dad introduced it to me and I've never gone back to the old stuff (blue bonnet). I highly recommend it. However, avoid their version of peanut butter...its gross!


Soon2BThin - Sunday Jan 08, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

Happy Sunday afternoon!! Just got home awhile ago, we bowled this morning after going to Village Inn for pancakes. Then we stopped at Mom's to move a mattress so she could put a new bed skirt on. She's always buying new comforter sets, heh. And here I am. Not doing as well as I would like with the food lately but I did go to the gym yesterday and walked 3 miles and did some ab work. I'm giving my knees a little rest today, yep, the left one was bothering me yesterday also. But I will be there tomorrow for my usual workout. I figure the bowling is better exercise than nothing. Now I just have to watch the food intake today. At least I had no butter on the pancakes and I use sugar-free syrup. They bring you a huge amount of butter too but I used none of it. And I couldn't finish all the pancakes.

Okay, that's it for today. Weather here is great, warm and sunny. Going to watch some football this afternoon with the DH. Go, Bengals!! Hope you're all having a good one. See ya tomorrow. And remember, you're only a loser if you quit when you're behind. Go, DDer's!

sunshine11 on 01/08/2006:
wow great job on passing up the butter! Sounds like you had a good work out the other day even with a hurt knee, but make sure to go easy on it! Im also watching some football, go Carolina! ;o)

Soon2BThin - Saturday Jan 07, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

Okay, I'm up a pound from Thursday's weigh-in. To be expected when you cheat a little. Ate chocolate cake, you know, those new Betty Crocker ones that you mix water and microwave. Not worth it though. I only bought it cause I had a coupon for it weeks ago. Oh, well. Back to work. I did get to the gym though and had a good workout. I could do a lot better if I didn't get that queasy stomach feeling though. I think I have some kind of problem there, have had stomach problems for years. Trudging on anyway. Today I'm going to the gym just for cardio and some ab crunches on the machine. May try some of the cardio machines too, who knows? My knee is still acting up and hurt quite a bit last night. Now my right elbow hurts too. I've been really working my arms lately. I keep thinking in 3 weeks or so I will need to get into a bathing suit, eeeek!! Oh, well, I've seen a lot worse in bathing suits!

Okay, DH and #3 son are getting ready to head to the swap meet again today. So I will be alone all day. I must keep busy and away from the fast food places. I've finally realized that McD's breakfast is really not worth it so I won't be going there. Haven't been there in quite awhile. You all take care and have a great weekend! See ya whenever!

toady on 01/07/2006:
Hi there. It is good to know that i am not the only one who can not resist eating bad stuff now and then. But i am also glad that you don't beat yourself up to bad for it. It makes it easier knowing there are others who deal with this stuff to. Thanks Jodi

Soon2BThin - Friday Jan 06, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

Hey, guess what?! I missed my entry this morning! DH and I had important things to do, heh. TMI. Anyways, then it was time for breakfast. And this week, I've been watching NYPD Blue on TNT instead of Regis and Kelly, since they were showing repeats all week. I hate that but love NYPD Blue even though I've already seen them all before. As you all know, I just need to watch TV while I eat every meal. I know, it's not a good thing but I do it so there. We barely ever eat at the kitchen table. And usually it's full of son #3's computer junk. The dining room table too. He's just taken over my beautiful house and turned it into chaos but that's another story for another day, heh. BTW, he and the DH are at the swap meet right now (flea market for those in other parts of the country or other places) to sell some of his computer parts and computers and monitors and things. He buys them at auctions and fixes them up. He's trying to make a business of it (BTW, he quit his job, #3 son, not the DH) even though the poor DH has to go with him every time, you know, for bathroom runs and food runs, and they will be spending most of the weekend there so I will be pretty much alone here. If you know me at all, you know that all that alone time can mean disaster for my diet plan when the DH is gone. But not this time!! So far today I've gone to the gym and had a good workout and the food part is going really well. I'm really getting into that habit of counting every thing I eat, weighing it and measuring it and all. I can certainly attest to the fact that it DOES get easier if you just stick with it. In fact I'm kind of enjoying my success. I am woman, hear me roar!

So here it is, 4:10pm and time for my afternoon snack---baked chips and an apple, I think, and lots and lots of water. Been doing really well with the water too. Well, yesterday maybe not so well since I didn't really count the points all day and had next to no water and bowling was my only exercise, but everyone needs a day off once in awhile, huh? And I was down 2 tenths of a pound this morning too even though I thought I would be up some. Go me! Well, I do rattle on, don't I? Here's to a great weekend for everybody, okay?! Have a good one, y'all.

vvvzena29 on 01/07/2006:
lol I have to laugh, my table is the same way. I talking my hubby into a gorgous kitchen table, and the only thing it's used for is to feed the cat on. The dog or the baby will eat it if put on the floor. Yeah, they're both kind of odd. Good job on keeping it going! I know how easy it is to give in a day here, a day there. Sounds like you have things under control.

Thanks for your comments in my journal. I don't think you should be ashamed at all for your feelings! Your hubby and my hubby would get along great. Mine's like that, too. Kind of takes in strays. Anyway, happy weekend! :-) Renee

Soon2BThin - Thursday Jan 05, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 158.8

Well, this is what I saw on my scale this morning, good little scale. A week well done, heh. Now if I can just keep it going. I WILL!! And I will make my goal. Of course, I don't expect this kind of loss every week.

Yesterday I did get to the gym but almost didn't. That little voice kept telling me to take the day off and go back to bed. I was so tired. But I made it. I did 2 miles of walking on the track and arm and ab exercises. I didn't do the leg exercises because I wanted to give my right knee a rest. It does seem much better this morning. I just hate it when I get a hot flash right in the middle of doing my workout. I get all hot and weak and I have to rest awhile. Hate those things! I wonder how many calories a hot flash burns, haha!

Today will be bowling again, our usual Thursday group. Haven't bowled since last Thursday. I hope my knee doesn't act up. Okay, you all get out there and get the most from your day. Hang in there, they say it gets easier, I don't know, heh. See ya tomorrow!

jolt on 01/05/2006:
Great job! *happy dance*

Hope your knee feels better soon! You can do it.



borntocry on 01/06/2006:
WOW!! Congratulations on an awesome week! A few more of those and there's no telling where you'll be! I don't know if it gets any easier, but hey, we can put up with a little suffering to get what we want, right?!

Soon2BThin - Wednesday Jan 04, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 162.4

Okay, I think that starting tomorrow, I'm only going to weigh once a week. This every day thing is too up-and-down for me. And not down enough. Days ago I was in the 150's but the last couple I've been back in the 160's for no good reason. But I'm kind of afraid that if I don't weigh every day I'll start getting slack again. What should I do? Tomorrow is regular weigh day. I can't be retaining water, I was up "3" times during the night, heh.

Yesterday---I finished putting away all the Christmas stuff, finally, and swept and mopped the kitchen and living room floors. We have real pretty ceramic tile all through the house except the bedrooms. So that was a job! And I took a walk around our block but only went around 2 times. About 1 1/2 miles. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and my legs and right knee were hurting so I called that enough exercise. And I did really well with the eating--27 points. I find I'm eating all possible points right now, I just can't seem to keep them low. But at least I'm counting everything. I am trying to eat more quality and not just quantity too. Still not doing well with the veggies though. Trying to eat more protein too, and not so many carbs. Although, I did cave and buy some Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches yesterday---strawberry shortcake flavor, mmmmmm! Oh, well, at least there are only 6 in a pack. You should see all the things I passed up that I wanted too, haha! So I am improving, I think.

Today, the gym. I may stop on the way and buy a knee brace. And probably won't do the leg exercises, just walking and arms and abs. I've been doing some squats and lunges this week so that's probably why my knee hurts. I'm trying to strengthen my legs so the waves won't knock me over and, when they do, I can get myself back up again, heh. Last year DH had to help me, I was totally helpless, not a pretty sight. Last year when we went to Maui, I was about 163, I think, so I should be a lot less this year.

Well, you all have a great hump day. Get out and do some exercise if you can, it really helps. Take care and see ya tomorrow!

borntocry on 01/04/2006:
Hi Soonie,

Personally, I think you should weigh every day, but only if you can have a stern talk with yourself first and convince yourself to take these up-and-down fluctuations in your stride. This is something which I find very difficult and demotivating also, and I'm probably going to have to deal with it big time tomorrow because I have a feeling my weight is going to be up after a series of losses. And that's normally a major diet-killer for me.

So let's see what happens... if I can handle it, then I'm sure you can too, and in that case you should go on weighing every day. But if I go totally off the deep end, then perhaps you should switch to a weekly weigh-in!

Soon2BThin - Tuesday Jan 03, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 162.4

Had a hard time getting on here this morning. But here I am. Not much to say since I made a late entry yesterday. Ooh, my stomach just growled, heh. Hungry! Actual hunger! Huh, what's going on? Doing well since I wrote yesterday, stayed within my points okay and nothing after 7pm. Today's plan, more of the same. I don't know what I'll do for exercise but there WILL be exercise, probably walking around the block. I thought about bowling but eh, I don't think so. Need to go to the post office, the Nike outlet store and WalMart. It's kinda gloomy right now, cloudy but warm, 56 degrees at 8:45am. Hope you all have a great day. Hang in there, we can do it! See ya tomorrow.

P. S. If you're out there, TheMother, let us know how you're doing, K? And, Pastagal, you are missed here, come on back. Hope you're both doing well.

vvvzena29 on 01/03/2006:
You go girl! I am rooting for you to make your goal for your trip. Take me in spirit, will you? :-) I hate cold weather. Anyway, you can do it! Renee

Soon2BThin - Monday Jan 02, 2006
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 162.4

Ho hum. Couldn't get on my puter this morning, son #3 had a floppy in the drive and I didn't know it, don't understand it but he does, so it's fixed. Here I am. Up 1.6 from Saturday. Bye-bye 150's darnit. I guess I knew it was too good to be true. Oh, well. Sunday I didn't do any exercise except for putting the Christmas decor away. Took a couple of hours. Food wasn't that good either but not too bad. Just over on points by maybe 5, I guess. Too much salt, dill pickles. So today is much better, so far. I almost didn't get up though when I should have but after I turned off the alarm and rolled over, I thought "what the heck am I doing, so what if I didn't really get enough sleep, if I don't get up, I'll feel like crap all day" so I got up. Success! Went to the gym, had a great workout! Sore muscles already. Increased some of the sets, not all, but still a better workout than usual. Just 2 miles of walking though. I'm doing about a 16.5 minute mile now. It was a little more crowded than usual but not too bad. I usually don't get there until about 11:30 so I guess people are eating lunch then. Speaking of which---did anyone try the new LC Paninis yet? Mmmmmm, so good, at least I think so. Luv them! Lots of chicken and fake cheese, 7 points. Quick to fix too. Anyways.....

It's only 3:30pm here so I still have the evening to get through. I'm managing to not eat after 7pm every day. I must, I must, I must make my goal by Jan.30, I MUST!! Somewhere around 155 but hopefully, well below that. 4 weeks to get there. I know, I'll still be fat but a little better than now. Okay, hope you're all having a great day. Going to check up on y'all now. See ya tomorrow!

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