- Tuesday Oct 08, 2002
Hello Again! It is not quite noon here on the west coast, as I am beginning this entry. The first part of the day has just been great. I was home from my walk before seven this morning. I walked the same distance (2 miles) but put a little more into it. I am ALREADY remembering how I did this last time :) It was so much excited momentum! Being so encouraged to try things by the group; that thrill of getting back here to tell about it; and, then the encouragement leading me to do more... try for more. To say that I have the weight of self-recremination for letting go of all the results of those efforts is an understatement; I guess you know that. But, I know better than to just crawl into that hole. It is a new day and in a way I am starting from a better vantage point this time around? Before, I didn't really believe in myself because of past failures at weight loss. This time I am my own resource for a success story, because once I lived it. So, although to so many of you, it might look entirely bleak to be 253 pounds as I am, I want to just challenge you to stay with me, as I will be with you.
- Monday Oct 07, 2002
Hello my dear old Friends, and New!
Today I have decided to try and regroup.... recapture that magic that I knew for the ten months I was with the group last year. From March through December I was inspired and energized to lose 75 pounds. It was so life affirming. Other aspects of the same life were in trouble though; slow recovery to health from an auto accident, gross financial worries being unable to work, fear, fear and fear of the unknown. I found the courage to file for divorce and then the courage to see it through; moved away from the man that I did and do respect (and care about still) into an apartment in the same town. I remain working on the issues of caring for an alcoholic... I have gone through the Social Security Disability process and been successful.... However, I have regained since late December, every single hard won pound that I lost :( It is not a huge surprise because I have been a wreck and unable to focus and then there is my basic nature of passivity. When I was weighed a few weeks ago and the number was spoken, I realized that it was the same as that first day that I first logged on to dietdiaries in the depth of depression in realizing my highest weight. In these last weeks I have been trying to put a plan together for a successful remake of the old remade me.... did you get that? :) I have a close friend who is supportive and an eating plan that I think is reasonable, I have begun walking again in ernest, and....... that leads me to you. Let me in, okay? I will be reading up on everyone now; catching up with familiar names and learning about the new ones.
- Wednesday Mar 27, 2002
- Tuesday Mar 26, 2002
Hello! I am back and onboard with everybody, yet I can't make a very interesting report YET. Last night my friend, Kathy stayed overnight and today we are visiting and so I can't be private with my Diarists. Take good care today and have courage with our shared goals. See you later.
- Sunday Mar 24, 2002
Hello! It is going on 5:00 P.M. here in the Northwest and soon time to think about making dinner. This has been a fine day for me. I've appreciated reading your comments to me (you know who you are :) and GOSH! Does that make a difference or what??? And, I was a water-drinking fool all of yesterday and today (which is about the FIRST thing that I dropped when I left the Diarists :( And, I haven't felt like eating extraordinarily, which is SUCH a blessing. Tonight exHusband is having fried chicken and I am NOT! I don't like dark meat and he doesn't like white, so it is our habit to buy thighs and breasts anyway. Tonight I am going to panfry mine in a little olive oil spray and have a prize-winning green salad with chicken pieces in it. You know, I am feeling "safe" again somehow; here with you and not trying to show-off :) in the world pretending that I don't need Diarist encouragement. Thank you, Everybody. Tomorrow I have a first appt with a COUNSELOR. I am a bit stressed, (talk about ISSUES!) yet I am happy about it. I made an appt to meet her and I had lots of questions for her and I think that she is a good person, you know? She is warm and encouraging and when I looked at her office decor I found signs of a similar spirit to my own (I did not mention that, hoping not to SCARE her! So, that was about a week ago and now it is time for a REAL appt. It is in the afternoon and tomorrow evening I may write about it here. I hope that everyone's weekend was somehow extra renewing and/or exciting. And, I hope that when morning comes, most of us feel the world's embrace. You have mine.
- Saturday Mar 23, 2002
Well, I'm back at it. YES. I've put my today's entry in my own "comment" section of YESTERDAY's entry. I was crying and all else while writing it and it is just too much to redo here, so if you get in the mood to read it, you will find lots of it there. Sorry. I don't have a computer. I use a webtv unit and I don't think that I have the capability of changing it over.... or that type of cut and paste.
- Friday Mar 22, 2002
Hello precious Diarists, I am sitting at this keyboard and screen on the very very very verge of recommitment. I haven't done very well on my own these last months. I have wanted to jump in again, but the saga of inertia that has become my life heightened feelings of embarrassment and failure. I have missed my old and familiar friends and I greet the new ones. Gosh, I need help.
- Tuesday Jan 08, 2002
- Monday Jan 07, 2002
Hello my dear Diarists! Quick as I must be about it, I am here to greet you, read you and let you know that I am in pretty good shape. Still feeling strong within myself and for us as a group. I will tell you stuff tomorrow :)
- Friday Jan 04, 2002
How are my friends? I miss you. I've kind of been waiting for something to "happen" until I made my entry. I just have non-news still at mid-afternoon; so, I guess just getting here is more important than getting here with a big scoop :) Weather-wise the day is medium, I am medium and activities around here are medium. I ate berries with low-fat eggnog on them for breakfast dessert after my regular oatmeal :) For lunch a fresh-cracked crab cocktail and a smackin' good apple. For dinner I am using one large roasted porkchop to make a lentil-tomato-potato Indian (Eastern) dish that I used to make with coconut milk, but enjoy now substituting that for chicken broth. My twenty-minutes were spent on that piece of equipment that I do not know the name for. It is like "air" walking? It isn't mine, but I did it while my neighbor used her glider deal. BOY! I really don't sound like a "workin' out" woman, do I. I'd better get some of this stuff memorized before I start the next big narrative on it, do you think? :) The "Y" thing is not coming together for me as I thought it would. Things are unsettled here, as you know. Or DO you?! I guess I've never really explained it all, but it is a situation in a flexible state. It is day by day and is still working on this day..... Who knows things about bare root roses and the planting tips and all of that? I mean from a person and not the nursery folks.... Love