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bearcountrygg - Tuesday Jan 23, 2018
(Intuitive eating in moderation)
Weight: 232.4

 There is no place like home..and so happy to be back here....Michigan is truly water wonderland and we saw some beautiful places....I've live in michigan my whole life and I've traveled all over the U.S. and Canada...and I  have never been to 2 of the most beautiful towns ( Petoskey and Charlevoix)...just a couple of hours from us, before.....will be going back for sure.  

D has quite the crater in his nose...I didn't know they could cut that deep over such a area that is basically bone....but it's deep...he's allergic to the tape so frequent rebandaging is happening........There is a warning here......wear hats outside people......we occassionally use sunscreen but we don't trust the chemicals  and around here it calls mosquitos ...so hats are really a must here .......yeasterday  that skin cancer surgery center was FULL of people with skin cancers on their faces...only 2 had them elsewhere.................many had them on their cheeks, ears and noses...and everyone in there appeared to be 50 and over...the damage had been done years ago...which culminated in skin cancers some time later...............cover up when you are young to prevent the problems later.....just saying.

Woke up so happy to be home today...scale was good and I'm extra happy with that.

More convinced than ever that counting, measuring, eating things I don't want is counter productive for me.

I'm going back once a gain to my old ways which were a craving led diet in moderation.....eat what I'm craving...waiting to make sure I really want it.....not eating something because I think I should, or because it needs to be used up....but listening to my body and eating what it tells me too.  I was thin for so many years eating that way...and it's what I have to get back to.....reminds me of those pregnancy cravings many years ago...there was a reason I was craving tuna, grapefruit and blueberry ice cream then...and I can actually  look back on my entire life and see that If I had never strayed from that ( and had done that during those high stress times...I would have been fine)....but I didn't....stress eating took over...then diet aafter diet made things even worse.......I truly believe we all have whatever we need inside us and all we need to do is listen..........from now on....I'm listening.

Woke up wanting breakfast that is not usual for me...and I was craving protein...so we had, eggs, and toast with peanut butter along with that regular coffee

Lunch was garden salad and chicken with peppers and onions

Dinner was a SMART ONES frozen turkey and mashed poato meal


Progress as of today: 23 lbs lost so far, only 87.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2018:
sounds like a tasty breakfast. try to take each day in moderation and go with your intuition. and like i said, have what you want, just try to have less bc you are probably expending much less energy than you did when you were younger very active taking care of lots of kids and babies...i'm sure it was a lot of energy running after them, making all their food, cleaning after them...etc.

you somehow need to have smaller portions but replace the extra with veggies...i've made my own dressing...so good!...to put over sliced up / diced veggies...amazing. it's light and not a cream base, so good to use just a little bit and healthy.

i'm going to be making dressings more often now...when i use one, i'll look into recipes for new ones. the next one i make, i want to be a lighter color, not as dark when. i think this one used too much paprika for my liking.

bearcountrygg on 01/23/2018:
Intuitive eating in moderation it is.....worked for me for many years...and I feel like my old self again...funny how I let stress eating take me over for so many years... The dressing idea is really good....there are so many herbs to add to change the flavors up...

horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2018:
oh and now reading the first half that i sorta skipped about DH - glad they were able to take care of it!

bearcountrygg on 01/23/2018:
So are we...Thanks!

innerpeace on 01/23/2018:
That is definately good advice about wearing hats!

Good luck with your mindful eating, I hope all works out for you.

bearcountrygg on 01/23/2018:
It was my way of life for about 40 years...and I guess I just lost it ....but it does feel comfortable again...I'm actually glad that I lost faith finally in WW.....rejoining them has a bad ring to it now....but they did finally decide to refund that overpayment...but I really had to nag them.

Donkey on 01/23/2018:
When I was a young girl, we would have tanning contests! I just cringe at the very thought of that now.

I love the idea of the intuitive eating... My problem has always been portion control, which is sometimes deliberate (to prolong the dinner time), and sometimes due to mindlessness.

bearcountrygg on 01/23/2018:
Portions can be difficult....but for all those years when I had never actually had a weight problem....I took very small portions and took more if needed...but usually didn't need more....now years later...after all of the bingeing and counting and measuring...I really messed with my thoughts on food...back in the day I ate slowly....now I wolf it down like I think someone is going to come and take it away from me....and I just realized something...when I when I was thin I ate small amounts slowly because I was relaxed.....and for the last years I ate quantities fast...because I was not relaxed...I was acting agitated and was eating in a frenzy.....the fact is now that I am relaxed...I'm dealing with the bad habit...but without the stress....quantities are a problem....and no one is going to take my food away...and we will never run out of food...so some self talk is what I need to do...I actually feel a sense of calm today, as if food has not been the actual problem...the problem was the way I thought about food....talkin this stuff out is really enlightening for me.

bearcountrygg on 01/23/2018:
I also tanned a lot as a kid...and spent all day at the beach.....we used to put baby oil on to help us tan...phew...what have we done?

bearcountrygg - Monday Jan 22, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 234.2

Weather looks bad but so far...we will be heading towards Petoskey for D's procedure........going to be a toss up rather or not they will open their office.....school closing all over....sleet, freezing rain, snow....will be an interesting trip.  I'm pretty firm on the idea now of just eating to lose.....counting makes me think about food too much.....In factI haven't even been writing things down in  a notebook like I had been....just need to eat like a skinny person...LOL....I did it before...I can do it again.....I will post here though...but no points or calories or even major discriptions.......Funny...no problems reading what others eat...just problems writing down mine...UGH!


Got there...got the procedure done and we survived the ice storm....came home to find a branch across the driveway...but we were happy to be home...eveyone in the waiting room was obsessed with the weather....apparently a oveturned car and a car driving or sliding into  a credit union building...were what waitied for us outside...but we made it.

Got to surgery bldg early so we went to Wendy's and I had a mini single plain.burger apparently forkids...but it was just right.

3 hours later we were back on the road...and trying to decide rather to risk stopping at a restaurant or just keep driving...we decided to keep driving.......rooting around in the truck...I found pop tarts and juice....so we each had two pop tarts and a container of veg.fruit juice.

I had planned to make dinner at home but D just wanted to eat leftovers...so I figured that was the easy way out for me and agreed.....so dinner was....sausage, 3 bean salad, chicken noodles and a few fries.  That took care of the leftovers....so k=just planning on water for the rest of the day...

Progress as of today: 21.2 lbs lost so far, only 89.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
boy do the schools close often by you....and by your photos, i can see why!

i can't eat like a skinny person, bc i have trouble with portion sizes which is why i gravitate to veggies when i can.

good luck with his procedure! i hope the office is open!

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
Yup...roller coaster, country ,ice covered roads are an experience.....slid past the driveway many times...LOL

D's procedure went really well....they only had to cut one area out...and the lab showed they got all of it...so....we were happy...they gave him the choice of stiches of open healing...and he chose to skip the stitches....he now just looks like those glasses that have the big plastic nose on them.....it's temporary. Drove there in sleet, rain and fog...and drove home in an ice storm....Very happy to be home.

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
wow, sorry you are not enjoying the new WW thing you started online...sucks really...really it wasn't helping!? you can try to fight the charges saying it wasn't working for you/...like the site was down?

anyways, i am surprised you hated it. you don't need to "eat like a skinny person" i don't think...because i cannot do it even if i tried. my dad is like that (eats like a skinny person) and my mom and some friends....they just don't really think about food except for when they are truly hungry...something i really don't do at all...i think about it always!

in some ways, i think you do "think" about food like a skinny person, now you just need smaller portions and to balance them with low cal things like veggies....i just sorta figured you out....you are doing a great job eating like a skinny person does, but you need less calories at those meals bc you aren't burning everything you eat....so you need less calories at the meals you do eat. you can eat same things, but also you need to eat half the amounts, filling the rest of your plate with vegetables / fruit / teas/ water.

my recommendation is to cut your potions in half...eat half what you normally do at meals.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
Good ideas.....I will reread those and take them to heart...you guys are so much help...Thank you!

Donkey on 01/22/2018:
I'm sorry about the WW program not working out for you, but if it doesn't, best to put it aside, as you did, and find what works. What works for some, doesn't work for others. That's one thing I've learned in this journey!

That's an interesting recommendation from Horn... I might try this route -- my problem is that when I'm eating, I tend to lose track of these goals.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
Got another email from ww this morning,,,,they decided to refund that one charge...so 19.95 will be refunded...I agreed to the cancellation fee of 39.95...need to stay away from them in the future. They were good ideas from HOP

graindart on 01/22/2018:
I think that naturally skinny people are wired differently than I am. I have thin friends that supposedly don't ever think about food. In discussions with them, they've even noted that sometimes it's a "chore" to have to eat a meal. I'm exactly the opposite. I'm often times consumed by the thought of food. It's not bad when I'm relatively busy. But if I'm sitting around relaxing, my thoughts usually end up drifting off towards food related stuff. I can control my food intake, but I never see eating as a "chore". It's always something I look forward to, even if it's not something particularly tasty. Since I don't ever see food as becoming an afterthought or chore, portion control is what I've had to focus on like a laser.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
I hear you, I've actually been both...for my first 40 years I really didn't feel hunger....then a very difficult foster child basically terrorized our household to the point that I started eating out of stress...and I never did get ahold of it.....the stress eating became a habit.....but my original food patterns were low and I was thin.

bearcountrygg - Sunday Jan 21, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 234.2

Good morning......interesting few days , I've been feeling great and eating actually very little.....when I don't remind myself about food I actually don't think much about it.   Looking forward to getting back on the scales to see the new weight.  

Dennys procedure is tomorrow....but the Drs office is in the BIG whiteout storm area....and they say they may be closed because of it.  Kind of leaves us in the lurch....so we will find out at 9A.M. if he can even get it done.  Oh well.............we had a nice few days anyway.  He may just have to reschedule it again later.  It's a Michigan winter and truly anything can happen....but we are hoping it can be done...he would like it over with.  We will still have quite a drive home if it's cancelled...so hoping the really nasty weather holds off.  

Issue number 2 is Weight Watchers is driving me to distraction.......the online calculator is messing up......and the scanners to use in the store are not accurate....2 identical cans scan differently.................so frustration abounds....luckily I bought their little home hand held calculator...so I don't even need their website anyway....so I figured if it only frustrates me....I have tthe info and little calculator...I can cancel my ww subscription...( I knew they would charge me $40 to cancel...but that's cheaper than continuing to pay them $20 a month for nothing).....so...I cancel...and what do they do...they quickly charge my credit card for 1 more month...and THEN they cancel....so now they just got $60....and they aren't budging....and I can't use the site even if I wanted tooo.....Just tickes me off.....now I see what others have complained about....hopefully this just permanently stopped me from subscribing to them......

Another thing I just found out about WW...is that now since they are not pushing weight loss...and instead are pushing healthy...they are setting people up to just pay them $20 a month forever.....I did notice they do not remind me to weigh in anymore....read a very good article this morning about their new way to continually make money...from people at weight and trying to lose...( since there is no free lifetime with online....that really adds up)....okay enough of my rant......should be posting my food lists again on Tuesday...or maybe even tomorrow if we get home on time.  

I really do eat less when I don't journal....but I will give the journal another go.....and see if I can handle it better this time.

Progress as of today: 21.2 lbs lost so far, only 89.2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 01/21/2018:
Sounds like you made a very wise decision to dc the subscription. What a gimmick to make more money that you wrote about. Hope all goes well with you and your Hubby on your trip and you both be safe.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
Frustrating foe sure.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
For sure....

happy-1 on 01/22/2018:
Call them and have them fix the charges. If that doesn't work, have your credit card co dispute the charges on your behalf.

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
I sent them another e mail and waiting for a reply to that.....I agreed to the 40....just not paying for another month on the day I cancelled.........they should refund it....BUT...they have changed the rules and they want to make this a lifetime pay thing for everyone...even the lifetimers that have been free and maintaining. Things they are a changing!

bearcountrygg - Thursday Jan 18, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 234.2

Discovered that all of my cleaning, climbing, carrying and stretching activity over the last few days has helped my joint pain, so I'm planning to stay more active in general....staying away from the books, tv and computer is just helping me be more mobile...and it's burning calories too...and an added plus is I think about food less.  

I will be around.....plus we will be heading across state for D's procedure and making a little vacation out of it....over the next few days......shaking things up and making some changes around here.....I'm really getting into the mode of  "Things won't change until you change things".........

I did some soul searching and thought about my habits back in the thin days......and found a lot of differences

1.  Active all day

2.  Very minimal TV

3.  No computer

4.  All groceries purchased for balanced nutrition and all meals (3) prepared with nutrients in mind

5.  In those days if I made a pie...it was a pumpkin pie made from pumpkins I grew in my little garden, it took hours to peel, cook and then make the actual pie....now that is a pie that never put weight on me...I had already expended the calories before it was even baked.

6.  So all of that said....my sedentary days are going to be less...my active days are going to be more...and I'm going back to my old ways...they were a lot healthier.....

7.  I will stop in from time to time and say HI!!!!



Progress as of today: 21.2 lbs lost so far, only 89.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/18/2018:
Yes sedentary just leads to more sedentary - I'll be happy to get back to the gym when I am feeling better than I do now - every day that I skip I just can tell I am getting weaker as the exercise I do in the gym doesn't happen otherwise in my life - I am I guesss thankful for the walk to And from my house each day to the bus which means everyday I walk at least 1.5miles total which isn't a lot but it's something .....lately I just sleep a lot like def 10 or more hours per night

innerpeace on 01/18/2018:
Good luck! I will miss reading your entries and advice. I hope your new plans works well for you. Safe journey on your little vacation, I hope the procedure goes well.

Maria7 on 01/19/2018:
Hope all goes well with your Hubby and Y'all enjoy your vacation as well. Take care. :-)

Donkey on 01/20/2018:
Miss you! I hope the trip to the doctor's was successful. Hope to hear from you soon!

bearcountrygg - Wednesday Jan 17, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 236.2

Cold still hanging in there...but not out of breath like so many past colds...and I feel better than usual with it...spent yesterday cleaning out cupboards and closet...and repacking and hiding and rearranging things...I may just have to take all food out of kitchen cabinets to make room for the things I'm bringing up from basement...maybe just walking to the other end of the house for dry /canned foods will be a benefit in the exercise apartment....or possibly shop the food storage closet on a daily or even weekly basis... according to meal plans...hey...I need a little mini shopping cart....!  Basically I do that in my clothes closet.......thngs that fit are hanging up...things that are too small are in bins...as things get too big...they are put in the car immediatly after washing and stay there ready for a trip to donate...I get them right out of the house ( that has backfired on occassion but well worth it to wear tight clothes for a few days...that is a great reminder).  Was able to move some to the car yesterday and there is still enough to wear hanging there....so will need to go through bins soon...but not essential yet.

vitamins, extra c, zinc, omegas, turmeric, baby aspirin


Michigan had some excitement last night....Meteor , rumbling and booming across the sky just after 8 ....Oldest son was closing the store when he heard it and thought the Heat/Air system was rumbling on the roof...it did cause a small 2.0 surface earthquake.....today...they look for meteorites on the ground......


roll, spray butter, pork, coffee


tomatoes, ground beef and a little pasta, ice cream


spaghetti squash, roll, apple, 


peanuts, cookie


Progress as of today: 19.2 lbs lost so far, only 91.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/17/2018:
Me too extra c and some zinc ...

Good job getting rid of big clothes and as long as you are moderate your weight won't fluctuate so much and the other clothes won't get small so fast

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:
I think the zinc and extra c helped this time...I'm not down with this cold...still have energy and not as much wheezy lung activity.......I have always noticed a size change at around the 15 pound loss mark...WW used to say that...and it always held true to me too...but some clothes just seem to run bigger...and I can get more use out of them for awhile...but almost time to try everything on...I usually wait though and just put something on each morning and see how comfortable I am in it...If I have to keep pulling the pants up...it's going...tops..are easier to keep wearing...but they also get to a point of in the way bagginess...I love shopping in my closet though...LOL

horn_of_plenty on 01/17/2018:
Def fun to Shop with what you already have in terms Of cost savings haha

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:

horn_of_plenty on 01/17/2018:
You've got a moderate list of food for today - good

bearcountrygg - Tuesday Jan 16, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 236.2

 Well...this cold is kicking in nicely ( not funny)....achy in odd places and all stuffed up, coughing and congested and  just generally kind of different than a usual cold....anyway....putting certain foods out of sight has been a good plan.....and I can't taste much anyway so not tempted...food cravings seem to be driven by coming down with  the cold anyway...haven't counted points or posted food for a couple of days and I miss it...so back to counting and posting them today.....still bringing things up from the basement....I LOVE THOSE BIG colorful bins.....we used them for moving instead of boxes...so we have a ton of them...and they are really coming in handy now.  I am staying away from ordering food on line...basically that stuff is our problem food right now.....it will keep...and be worked in slowly. I am getting a lot of emails from Boxed.con, Jet.com and amazon...they miss me.....HA!  

weeklies = 42

dailies = 23

Vitamins, extra c, zinc, turmeric, omega's, also adding today some baby aspirins, was supposed to be taking those all along and forgot


Coffee = 0

Cereal = 8

almond milk = 1

I don't need to do exercises...I just need to carry full bins up the stairs every day...found the baking pans and the smoothie glasses......it's like Christmas around here.


Pulled pork = 3

ciabata roll = 6

miracle whip = 3

I can't believe it's not butter spray = 0

applesauce = 0

1 fun size snickers = 4  must have been fate, youngest son called or I would have eaten more, got off the phone saw more sitting there and thought NOPE...and put them away.



spaghetti squash = 0

1T olive oil =  4

butter spray = 1

1T spaghetti sauce = 1

6 mini meatballs = 6



Progress as of today: 19.2 lbs lost so far, only 91.2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 01/16/2018:
I am finding a lot of use for our vaporizer lately, helps with that feeling of 'stuffiness'.. We have one that I bought cheap about 20-30 dollars at a pharmacy-store, that is easy to move from one room to another and it puts out warm mist in the air beside me and helps a lot with sinuses, etc. We also have it going in the bedroom at nite a lot during the wintertime. Hope you feel better.

BearCountryGG on 01/16/2018:
Thank you for the idea Maria...we have one too.....I will get that going today!

innerpeace on 01/16/2018:
I hope you feel better and it is nothing serious.

BearCountryGG on 01/16/2018:
It'sjust a cold I'm sure...I've had worse before....I can still function with this one...LOL

Donkey on 01/16/2018:
I hope you continue to heal. I had to LOL on "it's like Christmas around here". Isn't it kind of neat to rediscover treasures you already had?

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:
Yes it is!

happy-1 on 01/16/2018:
Now that you are out in the country, fish around and see if anyone does bulk food purchases of grains/beans. See what your options are for a flour grinder.

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:
Actually the amish store in town has bulk......I used to have a beautiful red kitchen aid mixer that I ordered from Zabars in New York, I loved it for years and then my Daughter in law told me how much she loved it too so I gave it to her...they bought the grain grinder for it...and then she gave it to her oldest son....It's making the rounds of the family....I doubt if it will ever come back to me again...LOL...it's in Wyoming now. Actually I think my Ninja grinds...only problem is that D is diabetic and he can't have that many carbs....but it would be interesting.

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:
Actually the amish store in town has bulk......I used to have a beautiful red kitchen aid mixer that I ordered from Zabars in New York, I loved it for years and then my Daughter in law told me how much she loved it too so I gave it to her...they bought the grain grinder for it...and then she gave it to her oldest son....It's making the rounds of the family....I doubt if it will ever come back to me again...LOL...it's in Wyoming now. Actually I think my Ninja grinds...only problem is that D is diabetic and he can't have that many carbs....but it would be interesting.

bearcountrygg - Monday Jan 15, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 236.2

Up and fighting a nasty cold........but I still have some energy and a few things to keep busy with today ....not hungry but very thirsty....the scales looked good this morning...I hadn't been weighing myself for awhile...but I was noticing my clothes getting looser and wasn't really surprised with the 5 pound loss.  We have been eating a lot of vegies lately...D lost some too and his sugar is doing really well so we're happy about that.  Looks like there will be a lot of liquids today.....luckily we have a lot of those on hand.

In the basement I found a lot of my small appliances that I had used 6 years ago when we were in a much bigger house...I have so missed those.  This kitchen is a fraction of the size that one was...and there is so much less storage area here...I'm going to bring those up today and put them to use...even if I have to keep them in bins forever...I miss them....finding the crock pot was a real joy...and the wok...and the pressure cooker......I didn't realize how much I missed them until I found them.  I have been up here for 3 years now...and so for the last almost 11 years my life has been in quite an upheaval...in the last  10 years I took care of my parents, buried both of them, sold our huge house and emptied my parents house and sold that.....had an addition put on this house which was previously our up north retreat/cabin..........we down sized so majorly that the salvation army truck came and it was filled with our donations and my parents and then promptly broke down in their driveway..( not our fault)...but then we started filling 2 dumpsters, 1 at each house...and I took many car loads to goodwill....2 big houses encourage filling them with STUFF...we were determined to live with much less stuff here...and we are doing it....and we still have too much.........yet...some things while not technically necessary...are still fun to work with....the crockpot is calling my name...better go rescue that and make sure it still works....

Colds are exhausting and tiresome......but there is work to be done...load 2 in the washer...and I'm heading down to the basement to see what else I can find........I hear D in the kitchen making himself a snack....blech...food does not sound good today.

I just realized that while I thought I was overeating...I still lost weight...and D's sugar is down today............I went back and looked over the notebook that I keep of what I have eaten for the last few months and realized that while I have been into the carbs a lot...I'm still eating less calories  in total....then I used to......and that I guess explains the new loss.....I have seriously been eating smaller portions....of the worst things....Time to dig out some old clothes....these are getting baggy....I love it when I can donate to the places in town ( one church resale, and one private resale)....when the laundry is done I will have a backseat full of donations.....I LOVE that!!!

Progress as of today: 19.2 lbs lost so far, only 91.2 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 01/15/2018:
Wow, what a lot of changes you have been through. Sorry about your Parents. I know you were a great comfort to them, taking care of them those 10 years. My Mother is 86 and been living in nursing home almost 9 years and before that, I took care of her for years. My time is always divided, back and forth to the nursing home. Did you have Siblings to help you? You seem like overall you are happy with your change to downsizing and living a simpler? life. Congrats on your new much lower number. Seems I found about that amount on popcorn island, ha. Do you live off grid? Or partly? That is good that you have food storage. Most people don't even have a week's food in their homes, totally unprepared. Did you hear about the warning to Hawaiia that was a mistake? Maybe that got people to at least thinking about being better prepared than they may be now. Hope you have a blessed day.

BearCountryGG on 01/15/2018:
Taking care of parents is hard....my Dad passed only 5 weeks after I started caring for him...and my Mom lived to 89 and was a super active lady...the day before she passed she raked leaves and we went grocery shopping...she passed in her sleep...she was a head strong determined lady and I'm thankful that she was active right up until the end. No siblings to help..I was raised an only child, my brother passed away before I was born. I am very happy with the simpler life...we have all of the conveniences....I actually started the food storage 18 years ago with the yr 2000...and enjoyed it so much I continued with it. I did hear about Hawaii...and I do think it made people think a little more seriously about being prepared. Being prepared covers so many different situations....being out of work, banks closing , job loss, and natural disasters, weeks with short pay checks.....it makes us feel a little more secure knowing we are covered. Have a nice evening Maria.

horn_of_plenty on 01/15/2018:
Very proud of you bcgg!!! I am so glad that your hard work has finally showed you some pay off!!!!!

5 lb she did a nice amount so keep up the great work !!!!

Seems your smaller portions has helped..

bearcountrygg - Sunday Jan 14, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 241.2

I'm going to try something different today...they say you become what you fear  the most...and lately what I think about the most is  fear of not losing weight...............fear of losing control of eating on program.......I am finding myself looking at food as the enemy...and what do we do about the enemy?  I know I obsess about it...get frustrated with it...and want to make it go away....for me...is that translating into eating it to make it go away????  Sounds just like me...I have always been one who refuses to throw food out...so I need to make it disappear.....I remember years ago running into another lady who had the same out look on food...she had to make it disappear also....and today we are still both fighting the weight....guess I should be calling it what it is...THE HUMAN GARBAGE CAN SYNDROME>

Since I am now into a virus of some sort...swollen glands, feeling like a cold or flu ( the cashier a week ago informed me as she was scannijng my food and coughing and apologising at the same time...that she had just spent the last 2 days with a cold/flu AND a stomach/intestinal flu also...AT THE SAME TIME)...that she was sorry, but she had only gotten 38 hours that week instead of her usual 40...so she came to work....My guess is that is where I caught this.

I'm planning on bringing some more bins up today to sort some canned , boxed and bagged foods to get them out of eyesight...D's sugar was higher than usual today...so I need to get this done...it will keep me busy for awhile...and I will get the things out of the kitchen that are also too handy.......I'm feeling like food is becoming or I should say HAS become something other than fuel for the body....food shouldn't be as much fun as it has become....in all of our thin years...it was purely nutrition...and something to keep healthy and active with....it has become something totally different.  

Starting today...I'm taking my power back from the food.........It's going into labeled bins in the food closet/pantry today, it's going to have its ww points written on it......it will be labeled for Denny specifically.....and for me specifically...and it will be 100% out of sight...it will be haard to get to...that always puts me off.  

I plan to not list my foods daily for awhile to see if that helps too...because I am noticing when I have lower food days...or low sugar days...that I seem to think I am entitled to treats if I have eaten healthier....THAT IS NOT a good thing............It sure doesn't take much to trigger this bad habit  in either D or myself......and it wasn't always like this...so I believe we can go back to our old better habits with some work......

So...I will post and read daily for a few days to see if that helps........but no food lists.

Progress as of today: 14.2 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/14/2018:
You do need food for fuel but I think it IS OK TO ENJOY IT!

I think you are getting Overly frustrated at yourself for not losing weight as fast as you would like to and for simply enjoying eating which is human nature.

Food you need and you might as well enjoy. You are still in the process of finding what works. You mention wanting to cheat on low calorie days which is exactly the reason I no longer have low cal days that go very low bc it causes a backfire in me !

Try to eat portions at each meal and nothing too far off limits unless for your salt Intske concerns. And veggies are your friend.

Try to start meals with a large salad Or any veggies even from frozen if you can ? I know your location and stores make it harder...

And If not a salad, a big pot of soup can last you thru the week and eat it with your meals - have some protein and carbs with the vegetable soup.

You can do this.

You are still learning what is working and not working.

No need to eat the lowest calories - it's not necessary for extremes for weight loss :) take it from me - weightlifter extremist !

And feel better - being sick is the worst ! ;)

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
Sounds like you may be feeling better today...happy to see you posting. Had a big salad for lunch and no cravings at all....so far so good today but I'm sick now...so appetite is usually less then....I will take what you say to heart...thanks.

horn_of_plenty on 01/14/2018:
I've heard good things about yoga and also never got ibto it bc I felt it didn't burn cals - but it does give you muscle and help shape the body despite what we both initially thought. When I was really young around 22 years old I took a hot yoga class in 100 degree room. It was 90 minutes long the class !

But it's only good if you can afford it, the hot one in saying, you have a job that allows you to be there half hours before class and half hour after - so what I'm saying is that was fun at the time but Not something I was able to maintain going to!

My sister takes yoga and loves it and it does seem. To give you a little more muscle and flexibility - there's so ma y types do your research online to see what people suggest who are similar to u

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
will do...thanks!

happy-1 on 01/14/2018:
Does meetup.com have groups in your area? There's always free yoga on that.

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
no...we don't have much...we are very rural.

Donkey on 01/14/2018:
What you wrote today is exactly why I don't post my menus (besides the fact that I usually eat the same things during the week and would be boring reading) and why counting points no longer works for me.

Not that I don't enjoy other people posting, counting, and posting pics, of course!

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
It gets obsessive for me...D has told me that for years....he says ww makes me think about food too much...and I have to agree.....today...I have not entered anything at ww...or written anything down...I already know the points...and I'm actually not hungry or craving anything at all...seeing what I ate seems to trigger something in me....UGH!

bearcountrygg - Saturday Jan 13, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 241.2

Does anyone here do yoga?  I used to love it.....but at that time I didn't feel that it burned calories and I was young so I was already limber....but now it's looking like something that would be kind to my old sore joints...and rather or not it burns calories is beside the point.......If so...do you use a program, classes or just do it on your own?

Still a sheet of ice here.....no going out for me...i have shoes with cleats to walk on ice but so far denny is taking care of outside things, so I haven't had to....I did fall down the porch steps last winter and landed face first on a pile of ice....that left some interesting marks...UGH...and I'm really not interested in doing that again....so I stay inside for the most part....and I have been doing a lot of reading...and going through the cabinets and putting things away that are really not helping this journey...I keep saying that once this stuff is gone we need to stop bringing more in...yet when I get to the store that all goes out the window...and i buy more....I need shopping rehab maybe even more than weight loss rehab.

multi vitamin, extra C, zinc, turmeric, omegas


coffee = 0

1 biscuit = 4

sausage gravy = 16


banana = 0


large garden salad with ranch = 5

1 large steak cut fry = 1

tuna = 0

For some strange reason around 4 o clock I started craving sugar...I hadn't had any today...and I was miserable....I will admit I stuffed myself, with junk...all sweet...and now I have a stomach ache.......this seriously smacks of addiction.....1. strong craving, 2.  overdoing it 3.  misery and regret...D and I were talking about it and he said he does the same thing...and also has trouble stopping until he is feeling sick.  We both say we don;t think of the discomfort beforehand....yet it often happens...selective memory I guess....but there is something at work here that was never there when we were younger...up to the age of 40 or so.  I'm thinking I may try gum instead.....need to dig that out.

Progress as of today: 14.2 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 01/13/2018:
Yoga is something that I've been wanting to incorporate into my life for SO LONG and yet haven't established it as a habit.

Years ago, I used Rodney Yee's AM/PM Yoga DVD, which I really liked-- if he hasn't remade it -- and I used this for about 3 months, but then life circumstances changed, routine was disrupted, and I never went back to it. (Part of the problem was that I didn't actually OWN the recording.)

Anyway, it's an easy, effective nice 30-ish minute routine in the morning to stretch you out and the same (but different routine) in the evening to help you relax before sleeping.

Yoga classes are too expensive for my budget right now -- $10+ a pop. The local environmental group has yoga 2x a month through March at a local coffee/tea shop for a "free will" donation. The weather has not been conducive to me trying this out. I'd like to go with my daughter, but then I have to make twice the donation. It's for a good cause, though -- this is just an excuse of mine not to go. It's hard for me to try new social situations. And the coffee shop is not a convenient place to drive to, either, which in the winter night dark, does not work in my favor to motivate me to try this.

But every time I have done yoga, I've enjoyed it and say, "I should do this more often!"

BearCountryGG on 01/13/2018:
I think I remember Rodney Yee.....I used to like the Leslie Sansone walking dvd's too......I would have to do it at home...getting onto the floor and back on my feet is definitely not pretty these days....I used to have the yoga mat, strap and blocks....but I must have given them away...because they aren't here. My daughter in law probably has them...that or Salvation Ary....any way...there was an ad on TV this morning that made me think of that....it sure is a no stress way to relax....

Donkey on 01/13/2018:
Could the sugar thing have been triggered by having breakfast, perhaps? I only mention this because you have said there has been a pattern that when you have a big breakfast, it sets you up for more eating later on.

Not that it's a solution -- after all, if you want breakfast, you should have breakfast, yes? No?

If it's any consolation, I've eaten to the point of feeling sick as well. It seems to be in stages: full, uncomfortably full, sick full. It's a fine line... You'll feel and do better tomorrow (((hugs)))

BearCountryGG on 01/13/2018:
I did eat breakfast today...when I really didn't need to.....I notice that the need for sweets seems to happen in the late afternoon to evening...the same thing for D.....I do get more hungry on days I eat before 1 pm for sure...that may have something to do with it. And on top of that...I'm coming down with something...ugh!

Donkey on 01/13/2018:
If you are coming down with a cold/sinus infection/flu, then all bets are off the table. The sugar craving now makes complete sense. Happens to me too. I hope you don't get sick!!

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
swollen glands......yup...seems to be respiratory.

happy-1 on 01/14/2018:
I am not flexible enough for yoga but a tape might work

BearCountryGG on 01/14/2018:
I used to be flexible...now...not so much..I would have to do the old lady version...LOL

bearcountrygg - Friday Jan 12, 2018
(Weight Watchers Freestyle)
Weight: 241.2

Just about had enough of this weather around here...and spring can't arrive soon enough.............I'm looking forward to heading for a large city over an hour north of us to shop in the spring...I've been there,,,but not driven myself....branching out slowly up here...back when we lived in the city I drove everywhere..but then again there were people and business everywhere...here...desolate roads kinda scare me a bit..so I'm branching out very slowly....the crime rate was awful downstate...but that didn't scare me as much as isolation...I need to get some guts for sure .  

I have been struggling in the evenings.....breakfast makes me  hungry all day...and possibly binge at night...but skipping breakfast seems to okay the binge at night ( apparently I think I am entitled to because I missed a meal).....so....I reset my weeklies today and I need to get my act together.....I am going to put the binge worthy things out of sight today....( somethings are just not bingeworthy...as in...I would never binge on veggies)...but on the other hand......snacky stuff just calls my name...it's so quick and easy and tempting......and I am sorry to say I am sneaky about it all....hiding wrappers deep in the garbage...eating when D is out of the house and on the phone...( I'm actually seeing the same eating patterns in him too....he doesn't want me seeing him eating now either...what the heck have we become)....his sneaky eating started when he was diagnosed with diabetes.  We need to fix this.........I am going to stop talking about good and bad foods to him and just keep them put away...and I will bring them out very slowly...instead of having them out in plain sight to tempt us...he actually has a lot more self control than I do...I think I taught him that sneaky eating...he once said that he thought I ate more than it seemed...he was right...my wrappers are often in a wastebasket under the bedroom desk.  So today will be like my new start over day.........onward and downward.  And I was sneaky about reporting here and on the weight watchers site..because I would turn the computer off for the night and end up eating something just before bed and not want to turn the computer on again........from now on the computer gets turned off just before bed...changing my ways...the old ways were nothing but sabotage....and I rarely even went back to the day before to add things...so......new rules for me..............no sneaking eating, no not posting things.....no self sabotage.......it's a new day.....and I need to get on with this...from now on the computer is the last thing I update and shut down before I go to bed...anything else is just self sabotage.


weekly points = 46

daily points = 23

Vitamins, extra c, zinc, turmeric, omegas


Coffee = 0

banana = 0

Fage 0% plain yogurt = 0


Breakfast toal = 0


fresh garden salad = 0

ranch dressing = 5

Lasagna = 19

custard = 7


31 points for lunch


banana = 0


used 31

Progress as of today: 14.2 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 01/12/2018:
Wrappers from what?

My family does sneaky eating too. Me because I am on 7 meals a day and try to stick them in my pockets for hiking or to save money while running errands which means I have pre-packaged snacks that are high calorie density... if I don't hide them my parents eat the whole box in 1 sitting... expensive and I feel like I injured them by having it in the house at all. I am currently hiding $25 of trail mix, a $15 bag of paleo granola from Costco, $10 of paleo pretzl crisps from sprouts, a $52 box of coca cola life (not diet, but my dad is diabetic and drinks it if he can find it).

I used to eat the whole box too. I still can. I try to do crowding out... like have more healthy stuff in the fridge and then I tuck the unhealthy stuff in plastic tubs. Could you do that and put them in the barn? There if you want them but more work than it's worth to get to?

BearCountryGG on 01/12/2018:
oh lets see...granola bars, candy, chips...LOL...and yes...the bins are coming out today and then they will go to the basement...I hate going down there.....and I seriously need to stop buying the stuff to begin with....

BearCountryGG on 01/12/2018:
I don't think I would put food in the barn...may call critters...

happy-1 on 01/12/2018:
Yeah, either way super strong, airtight containers.

BearCountryGG on 01/12/2018:
in the barn it would freeze and thaw and freeze again over and over....basement is an even heat...I won't go down there for that stuff very often....

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