- Tuesday Jul 26, 2005
Wassup Jelly Beans? It is S C O R C H I N G I N G in Little Rock Arkansas!
Just wanted to stop by and say HELLO to one of the greatest group of people in the world! I'm not gonna even try and make up an entry other that "howdy doody" ... I'm gonna go speak to everybody personally .... I have missed the heck out of you Beanie Babies!!!!
Sweet Dreams .... ah, make that low fat ... what the heck ... SWEET dreams!!!!
Toodles and Huggles to ya all!!!
- Tuesday Jul 19, 2005
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a NUT CASE ... it's taking me a minute to get used to it but I done figured out I might need to go ahead and adjust!!!! I feel like I'm coming back to rehab!!! Now don't go getting all excited .. I ain't been to rehab before ... don't necessarily mean I didn't need to ... I just ain't been .... anywho .... I really just wanted to stick my head in the door and say "hello" ... HELLO!
Hey you guys ... I would like for you to keep me in your prayers and your meditations ... You're the best!
Hey, my daughter was married on July 7 to a WONDERFUL young man. I am so proud of the both of them ... he was actually on the David Letterman show last night playing drums for an entertainer by the name of Jermaine Dupri ... anyways ... it's good to be here just saying hello ....
- Thursday Jun 23, 2005
Hey All!!! This morning I want to go get something from upstairs in the break room so baaaaaad !!!!!!!
Don't know WHY I'm having these terrible cravings!!!! My cycle is ENDING so I can't blame TOM on it ... can I? I'm struggling but I'm HAPPY .. I AIN"T SUCCUMBED yet!!!!!!!
Hey Tabbs I heard a saying this morning and you came to mind ... it was on some commentarty and the gentleman said ... in reference to civic service ... "service is the rent we pay for our space on earth" .... I thought that was pretty cool!!!!
I missed commenting yesterday so I'ma go read and I may come back later and post more!!! Have a great day all!!!
- Thursday Jun 23, 2005
Good morning ... I don't want to use this as a forum for e-mail post ups cause there is so MUCH that circulates and I debated long and hard before deciding to post this. Know that this has NOTHING to do with weight loss and I apologize beforehand if it is offensive to anyone. If you believe I should remove it please email me at email@example.com and I will do so. God bless us all.
"DUST OFF" CAN BE LETHAL! First I'm going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff I am a Police Officer for a city which is known nationwide for its crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were # 2 in the nation in homicides per capita. I also have a police K-9 named Thor . He was certified in drugs and general duty. He retired at 3 years old because he was shot in the line of duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn't allow it. He would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs. I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs. Makes them promise they wont. > >I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was working on some of my older computers. They were full of dust so on one of my trips to the computer store I bought a 3 pack of DUST OFF. Dust Off is a can of compressed air to blow dust off a computer. A few weeks later when I went to use them they were all used. I talked to my kids and my 2 sons both said they had used them on their computer and messing around with them. I yelled at them for wasting the 10 dollars I paid for them. On February 28 I went back to the computer store. They didn't have the 3 pack which I had bought on sale so I bought a single jumbo can of Dust Off. I went home and set it down beside my computer.
On March 1st I left for work at 10 PM. At 11 PM my wife went down and kissed Kyle goodnight. At 530 am the next morning Kathy went downstairs to wake Kyle up for school, before she left for work. He was sitting up in bed with his legs crossed and his head leaning over. She called to him a few times to get up. He didn't move. He would sometimes tease her like this and pretend he fell back asleep. He was never easy to get up. She went in and shook his arm. He fell over. He was pale white and had the straw from the Dust Off can coming out of his mouth. He had the new can of Dust Off in his hands. Kyle was dead.
I am a police officer and I had never heard of this. My wife is a nurse and she had never heard of this. We later found out from the coroner, after the autopsy, that only the propellant from the can of Dust off was in his system. No other drugs. Kyle had died between midnight and 1 Am.
I found out that using Dust Off is being done mostly by kids ages 9 through 15. They even have a name for it. It's called dusting. A take off from the Dust Off name. It gives them a slight high for about 10 seconds. It makes them dizzy. A boy who lives down the street from us showed Kyle how to do this about a month before. Kyle showed his best friend. Told him it was cool and it couldn't hurt you. Its just compressed air. It cant hurt you. His best friend said no.
Kyle was wrong. It's not just compresses air. It also contains a propellant I think its R2. Its a refrigerant like what is used in your refrigerator. It is a heavy gas. Heavier than air. When you inhale it, it fills your lungs and keeps the good air, with oxygen, out. That's why you feel dizzy, buzzed. It decreases the oxygen to your brain, to your heart. Kyle was right. It cant hurt you. IT KILLS YOU. The horrible part about this is there is no warning. There is no level that kills you. It's not cumulative or an overdose; it can just go randomly, terribly wrong. Roll the dice and if your number comes up you die. ITS NOT AN OVERDOSE. Its Russian roulette. You don't die later. Or not feel good and say I've had too much. You usually die as your breathing it in. If not you die within 2 seconds of finishing "the hit." That's why the straw was still in Kyle's mouth when he died. Why his eye's were still open.
The experts want to call this huffing. The kids don't believe its huffing. As adults we tend to lump many things together. But it doesn't fit here. And that's why its more accepted. There is no chemical reaction. no strong odor. It doesn't follow the huffing signals. Kyle complained a few days before he died of his tongue hurting. It probably did. The propellant causes frostbite. If I had only known.
Its easy to say hay, its my life and I'll do what I want. But it isn't. Others are always effected. This has forever changed our family's life. I have a hole in my heart and soul that can never be fixed. The pain is so immense I cant describe it. There's nowhere to run from it. I cry all the time and I don't ever cry. I do what I'm supposed to do but I don't really care. My kids are messed up. One wont talk about it. The other will only sleep in our room at night. And my wife, I cant even describe how bad she is taking this. I thought we were safe because of Thor. I thought we were safe because we knew about drugs and talked to our kids about them.
After Kyle died another story came out. A Probation Officer went to the school system next to ours to speak with a student. While there he found a student using Dust Off in the bathroom. This student told him about another student who also had some in his locker. This is a rather affluent school system. They will tell you they don't have a drug problem there. They don't even have a dare or plus program there. So rather than tell everyone about this "new" way of getting high they found, they hid it. The probation officer told the media after Kyle's death and they, the school, then admitted to it. I know that if they would have told the media and I had heard, it wouldn't have been in my house.
We need to get this out of our homes and school computer labs.
Using Dust Off isn't new and some "professionals" do know about. It just isn't talked about much, except by the kids. They know about it.
April 2nd was 1 month since Kyle died. April 5th would have been his 15th birthday. And every weekday I catch myself sitting on the living room couch at 2:30 in the afternoon and waiting to see him get off the bus. I know Kyle is in heaven but I cant help but wonder If I died and went to He ll.
- Wednesday Jun 22, 2005
*Sings* "Honey Baby can't you see ... ain't nobody bad like me!!!!*** Morris Day and the Time, back in the day that was the song to sing!!!! Now Mr. Day was quite a vain character and he sang his song with much flair and conviction, as he should have; he was an entertainer!
I repeat his phrase this morning not out of vanity (though I would imagine I possess an ant's share of it, lol) but out of affirming the uniquely designed individual I am. I am thanking God daily that he made me like him and I pray to continue to be MORE like him each day.
Every day I will speak more LIFE to myself and to those around me. Oh by the way, don't think for one moment that I believe I am the only "uniquely designed indivual" walking around. It is the positive custom character and traits of you that draw me near to you!!
Gotta go to a meeting this morning so I can't tarry long!
I will have to try my smaller meals plan again today. The idea was to do 5-6 small meals NOT 15-16 which is where I found myself AFTER 5 o'clock PM yesterday .... straight thru till 11 PM!!!! Ummmmm ... think that bag of popcorn set off some kind of carbohydrate craving that wouldn't stop!!!! This IS a new day.
I am holding at 255 and after last night I am THANKFUL!!! I pray it doesn't catch up with me later this week.
Ok all you International Icons have a great journey today ... I'll see ya on the way!!!!
- Tuesday Jun 21, 2005
Good morning Rug Rats!!!! I am experiencing such a state of tranquility right now that it's rather challenging for me to explain. This can not be attributed to just one area of my life but to all areas of my life. I know that it is all a part of the process of learning to live.
I am very thankful for this forum of DD that's served as a tool to keep me focused on the weight issue and I am also grateful that my consciousness is continously being heightened so that I have a care and concern not only for myself but for others. I won't go into detail on that but I'll just say that this is a very positive, supportive, and healing atmosphere to be a part of.
I have had to rid some things, and some people from my life because they were not good energy sources in my life and they did not allow me to provide them with the positives energy I have been blessed to receive. It is not with sadness that I release those things and people but it is with hope that the people would go on to find an environment that would allow them to be all they were designed to be.
Living in one's purpose or as I like to say "one's custom design" is most fullfilling. Ok, I'll get off that tangent this morning. Not exactly "weight loss" tip but it was on my heart .....
Ok, I am geeked up and EXCITED ... come on say it with me ... ok ok I won't go there today, lol. However I am definitely excited about today's journey. I am concerned about my memory so I went to Wild Oats last night and bought some Ginko Biloba ... I FORGOT to bring it with me this morning!!!! I am tempted to run home and get it or maybe just go buy another bottle so that I'll have one here and one at home.
I am going to try and incorporate the 5-6 smaller meals way of eating as opposed to my 2 pretty darned decent sized lunch salad and dinner meal .... having a bowl of mixed fruit now (I usually skip breakfast) and a cup o green tea with 17 ozs of water.
I read this quote yesterday and thought I would share it with you ... hold on ... I don't remember it ... I gotta go find it ... be right back .... ok found it ...
"Growing old does not make us sick, it's growing sick that makes us old." ...Tim Morrow
Enjoy your journey today.
1:00 Walked for 30 minutes on my morning break.
37 ozs of water down
Ate the enitre Ceasar Salad I had for lunch. That's OK ... I'll skip my 2:30 feeding, lol.
Plan on having fruit around 4 or 5 and the other 1/2 of my egg salad for dinner!
I'm feeling pretty good!!!
- Monday Jun 20, 2005
Good morning America and Abroad!!! How bout I was coming in here this morning, gonna go upstairs to the break room and buy all kinds of stuff to stuff myself with. Just feels like one of those sausage, biscuit with gravy mornings oh yeah and a bowl of fruit and a muffin too!!! Well, I had REALLY geeked myself up to doing this thinking "what the heck, it's Monday, it's gonna be a minute before things get better!" ... then I recalled my pact with myself and to you guys to weigh every day till I got back to 250 ... I really wanted to shove that to the side too but there was the fear that unlicensed pilots would swoon down in their homemade aircraft from Europe, Asia, Canada, the ATL, the East Coast and who knows from where else SOOOOOOO. I was sceaaaaaaaaaaarrrrred they would decend on top of me beautiful head and mess up my hair sooooooo I decided to step my GORGEOUS self up on the scales and BAM!!! "5" "FIVE" say it with me F. I. V. E. heavy ones GONE say it with me G. O. N. E. soooooooooooo ... I'll be going to fix me a cup o green tea, 34 ozs of water and MAYBE a cup of oatmeal!!!
Thanks for the accountability Queens ... you're starting me off with a great day and an even more porductive week!!!!
I luvs ya Bunny Wabbitts!!! Just keep swimming!
10:30 Walked for 30 minutes
Drank 34 ozs. water 2 C Green Tea 1 large Ceasar Chicken Salad
Sandrella, quit giving Tabbs tips on kicking the Panda!!!
34 more ozs down!!!! 2:27
And before the evening was done I had added yet another 34 ozs of water and read up on colon cleansing .
Bought some Ginko Biloba today for memory from Wild Oats and also had 1/2 an egg salad sandwich from Wild Oats. That thing was delicious!
I can honestly and proudly say ... it was a good, balanced, controlled day! Annnnnnnnnd, I was the one in control!!! Thank you Lord!!!
- Friday Jun 17, 2005
First things FIRST!!!!! Tabby I am afraid that should you EVER develop a brain this world would suddenly become a dull place!!!! You are NUTS!!!!! You need your own SHOW ... let me manage you ... PLEASE!!!!! lol lol!!!
Next ... I made it thru yesterday in a decent fashion!!! I did not overeat. (After my earthquake beginning!) I had planned what I was going to do and I stuck to it... got a little anxious around 9 o'clock ... luckily I had some yogurt in the fridge (low-fat) I had one of those and ... it got me thru. I am gonna weigh myself everyday (cept Sat & Sun cause I AIN'T GOT NOT SCALES AT HOME) till I get back down to 250.
I kinda knew I was gonna go beserk but who would have figured a 10 pound gain in 2 weeks!!! I had been eating like a run-a-way 3 headed 2 bootied rhino-sa-rus!!!! lol
Will get in some exercise. I ain't depressed ... just taking a reality check!!! Glad I did it at 260 rather than 270!!! There is always a bright side ... somewhere!!!
Toodles... have a good day Cup Cakes!!!
- Thursday Jun 16, 2005
I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAAAAARRRRR!!!! "roar" ... Ok so this morning I have had an Apple Cinnamon muffin (definitely not the FF kind) and 5 mini sized pig in the blankets ... who doesn't know what a pig in the blanket is? Tabbs ... I knew you would NOT know ... Jolt ... you know EVERYTHING ... I know you know SweetP ... Jenny, maybe yes maybe no. So, why don't I tell ya. It's a small sausage wrapped in a piece of dough. Simple huh? Yeah, it really is. Put a little mustard on it and bam!!! Now, neither one of those items were anyways near "healthy". But, I intend to salvage the rest of the day ... how bout let's say the muffin was breakfast ... I estimate it at 350 - 400 calories ... and let's say the pigs in the blankets were another 400-500 calories ... so that leave me about 500 calories for the day.
If I were wise (and I am when I wanna be) I could still salvage this day. I'll start by going to have some water and I'll plan on a healthy snack around 3 ...
You guys ... I wanna be 199 by summer's end so bad I can almost taste it!!!!
Crazy busy at work ... hopefully I'll be back and post and read some more today!!!!
OK. I know any time I stay AWAY from the scales I'm on a downward spiral (actually I guess this would be called an upward spiral) so, "screech"! Brakes on. Starting here, starting now ... I'm going back to the word actually hold on a second ... I'm gonna go to an entry I made a few years ago under the name CYNTHIE to see if I can cut and paste and REMIND MYSELF of what I'm trying to do. I refuse to give ALL THE WAY UP ... I REFUSE ... hold on I'll be back when I find it... (12:23 pm)
OK, it's now 12:55 ... I have been searching and searching and I cannot for the life of me find the old entry. That's OK. I am still rededicated to doing what I already know to do. Less and More plan for me. Less food - more movement. How much more simple can it be ... what is it gonna take for me to grasp and hold on to that simple principle!!!
Ok, let's deal with excuses I could use ... TOM .. it's here! Yay. No, boo .. it's come EVERY freaking month.
"I'm insane". Sorry, that won't fly either ... took a test. Sane as a, well, as anyone sane; just looking for an excuse.
Ok, there are none. These are my choices. I can plan the rest of my day. I'll start right now. Gonna go and get my other 17 ozs of water and finish that before 1:30 .. I'll have fresh fruit for snack(s) and a Chicken Ceasar salad from Fazoli's for dinner. I will also go to the gym before 10 o'clock tonight. And, I mean I will go there if I do nothing BUT walk over to it!
Geeeshhh ... I've gotta make a difference this summer yall. I gotta.
"Lord, I'm asking you to please guide me thru this day. I want to surrender my mind and body to you. I want to live for you. Help me. Thank you."
- Tuesday Jun 14, 2005
Good morning all you living breathing creatures!!! It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood!!! I think most of the time I neglect the fact that this is a forum for weight loss. Not intentionally ... then again maybe it IS intentional because I am not/have not been "on track"! So, like a child I figure if I come out and I start talking about everything BUT my weight, I can distract you long enough to say hi, check on you and scram outta here. I am pretty smart, huh?
I wanna say that today I am gonna go full force but I love ya too much ta lie to ya!! I wanna go, but the "umph" is not there. I ain't gone completely beserk, I'm just not FOCUSED which is the key motivator for me!!!!
I don't want to say a whole bunch of crappy stuff cause I think this is the BEST site and 99% of everybody out here is doing an outstanding job either losing or maintaining ... for that other small percent of us who just can't get the rhythmn going right now DON'T GIVE UP ON US or think we've quit the race ... WE HAVE NOT ... we've just kinda lost our pace right now!!!
So, for now, let me keep coming and rattling and reading ... pretty soon I'll be back on top and you know me and my GORGEOUS self will be bragging on how WONDERFUL I am every tittle of the way!!!
Soon2BThin ... I am 45 and I do vaguely remember Howdy Doody ... I don't know if I actually remember watching the show or if I just remember hearing about it cause the name Howdy Doody's been around a loooooonnnnnnnngggg time!
Got a proverb for ya:
"The fools look for dung where the cows never browsed." ~Ethiopia~
Enjoy your journey. xoxo cynthia