- Monday Jan 27, 2003
237.8 / 250.8 / 199
No sweets, no pop. Slimfast for breakfast. Running around all day, finally had a bag of Corn Nuts for "lunch". Went out for Chinese food for dinner, ate a lot. Feel full, nothing after 7pm.
- Sunday Jan 26, 2003
237.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets, forgot to drink a Slimfast for breakfast, didn't drink much water. No snacks and nothing during the Super Bowl, besides dinner. I reeeaaally wanted some pizza and hotwings, but when I called up they said that they were running about one and a half hours behind, so I decided against it.
- Saturday Jan 25, 2003
239.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets, no snacks, went skiing, very tired now.
- Friday Jan 24, 2003
239.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets, no snacks, ate dinner late (7:15pm), but nothing after 7:45pm.
- Thursday Jan 23, 2003
238.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets. Just a pb&j sandwich for lunch. Pizza and cheesbread for dinner. Nothing after 7pm and no snacks. As long as I'm seeing weight loss on a regular basis, I have no problem with not having snacks, pop, etc. However when I go a few days with no progress noted, or even a gained pound, I feel like it's not worth it and I might as well just gorge myself and suck down a 55 gallon barrel of pop. But as of today, everything's going good. It's been probably almost a year since I've seen the 230's, and I can't wait to see the 220's again soon, hopefully by the end of February. The end of February seems like such a long time from now. I don't usually try to figure out how much I'll weigh and when, but it'd be nice to think that I could get down to 199 lbs by the beginning of summer. That'd be about 10 lbs. lost each month. I don't know if that's practical or not. I'm kind of thinking that what will probably happen is an easy first 20 lbs of loss, followed by a plateau, which is where most people, me included, usually just decides that it's not worth it and starts gaining back some of the weight. As everyone knows and fears, if you start going back up, you get depressed and start to eat even more, and end up gaining all the weight back plus an extra 10-15 lbs.
It kind of stinks that you can't predict weight loss. If someone could guarantee me that I'd weigh 199 lbs by the beginning of summer, I'd stick with things and be looking forward to it. Although once I hit 199, I then have to keep going for my 170 lb "ideal weight". I think that 199 is achievable, but I'm not sure about 170. It doesn't matter too much, because 199 would be such an improvement that I doubt that it'd bother me all that much.
How do people let themselves go? I used to see people larger than me and ask that question. I guess I have to look in the mirror now when I ask that question. I know when I was overweight and weighed in the 190's, I use to justify my weight by seeing people in the 250+ range and saying to myself "I may be overweight, but at least I'm not that overweight, that obese." Now that I've hit 250, I'm still saying that to myself, only I have to look at people 300+ lbs to say it.
My best friend has been steadily gaining weight over the past 5-8 years, and is now within about 10 lbs of me. He's always mentioning how much he hates being that fat and disgusting. I don't ever really notice my weight, unless I hear him complaining about his own weight, and then I become a little more self conscious. I guess it's good to hear him complaining about it sometimes, otherwise I might just keep rationalizing my weight gain, as I don't usually think about it too much.
- Wednesday Jan 22, 2003
239.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets. I kept walking past the Chex Mix, and finally succumbed to 1 mouthful. I'm not hungry, but I do miss the eating all of the time. Giving up on the pop has been a lot easier than I anticipated. I've just replaced my pop consumption with water. I've tried giving up on pop before, but it's never lasted more than a few weeks. I think that it's going good this time because whenever I go driving somewhere I usually remember to bring a bottle or two of water. Also, when I fill up the gas tank, I pay at the pump with a credit card. Since I don't even enter the gas station, I'm not tempted to buy pop.
I haven't cut down on my lunch and dinner at all, basically anything except for pop is allowed, just no snacking inbetween. Dinner was huge tonight. We went out to a nice restaurant. Big salad with all of the "not so good for you" fixings. Big prime rib with fresh ground horseradish; side of pasta and scones with honey butter. It was sooooooo good.
I've been contemplating about starting some exercise and/or watching what I eat for my meals. I'm kind of leaning away from watching what I eat for my meals, because it's just too much stuff to remember. Cutting out snacks, sweets, and pop has been working alright so far, no hunger and not feeling miserable or tired. I've tried changing all of my eating / drinking / exercise habits at once before, and it seemed like I spent all day just thinking about food, feeling tired, and being downright miserable. As long as the pounds keep dropping, allbeit slowly, I think I'll remain with my idea of eating whatever I feel like within reason for lunch or dinner.
As for the exercise, I don't know. Every form of regular exercise bores me to death. I HATE walking, running, or stair-climbing. I enjoy going skiing, but that's only doable once every 2-3 weeks. I've been thinking about putting up a "heavy bag" in the basement and seeing what punching it for 1/2 hour feels like. I really don't feel like going to the gym, it seems to take way too long. I don't know how some people can go to the gym over a lunch hour. With drive times, the minimum it takes me to go to the gym and get some decent exercise is approximately 2 hours, which is a lot more time than I'd care to spend. I wish I lived in a larger city; a 24 hour gym would be nice. I don't really have much spare time during the day, and things don't tend to slow down until around 8pm. I'd probably get some use out of the gym if it were open until at least midnight; that way I'd be able to go from 8:30pm - 10:30pm and not feel like I was getting rushed out because of closing time. A 24 hour gym would be even nicer, because I could go whenever I felt like it and wouldn't have any time constraints. Oh well, not planning on moving, so I'd better quit dreaming.
- Monday Jan 20, 2003
241.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets. Stuck sitting at my computer doing work all day. Maybe I should try getting out some soon.
- Sunday Jan 19, 2003
242.0 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets. Don't know where the extra pound came from, but my weight tends to flucuate anyways. Anybody think that stress alone adds pounds? ;-) Not that I'll be complaining when the checks come in, but I've been super busy lately with work, which probably helps keep me from thinking about snacking.
- Saturday Jan 18, 2003
240.8 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets. Ate supper late....around 7:45pm, but nothing after that.
- Thursday Jan 16, 2003
241.2 / 250.8 / 199
No pop, no sweets, today :-)
It's been a few days since I last wrote in this diary. I veered from my course a little. Nothing terrible, but I was taking my wife to a movie, and I really wanted a thing of popcorn and a regular Pepsi. So I had them, got extra butter, but at least just bought both in the smallest size available. Then the next day I was over at family's house, and drank a pop. Later that night my wife was munching away on some chocolate in the bedroom, so I had to have a little square......then I had to have another little square......then a 3rd little square. It only amounted to about 1/4 of a regular candy bar, so I didn't feel too terribly guilty. Although I guess I felt guilty enough not to post on here for a few days.
Yesterday and today went better, no screw-ups. I'm feeling kind of hungry right now, but it's after 7pm, so I'll just deal.
I'm not hungry very often, but I sure do miss eating the candy, pop, and especially eating something right before bed. It seems like I've been going on with this change in my eating habits for a long time, but it's only been 16 days. I guess I can't complain though, at least I'm seeing some weight progress. If I weren't seeing any change in weight, I'd probably just decide to go back to eating everything and anything I wanted, anytime I wanted.
Losing the weight isn't usually on my mind much. This may sound funny, but even though I weigh 250 lbs, I don't think of myself as being obese or anything, I just think of myself as being a little overweight. Of course, there's no way in God's green earth that I'd take off my shirt in public and go swimming, so I guess there are times that I'm self conscious of the fact that I'm overweight.
I can't really imagine what it would be like to weigh 170 lbs. It's probably been a good 10-15 years since I weighed that (early high school). Whenever I go skiing or play paintball or something, I'm more aware of the weight though. Is it wrong to hate skinny people? ;-) My brother-in-law is 6'4" and weighs about 150 lbs. That's a lot thinner than I'd like, but he stays that thin, and yet eats everything and anything that he wants. My wife's pregnant and eating like there's no tomorrow. Her eating habits mirror mine pretty much, although with less pop and a few more fruits. She's 5'10" and usually weighs 125 lbs, although she's up to 150 lbs due to being 8 months pregnant. She's always been in the ideal weight range her whole life, and I'll bet she continues eating like crazy and still drops back down to 130 lbs within 3 months of giving birth. It's not that I want her to keep the weight on, it's just that it's not fair to those of us who have to make a conscious effort to drop some pounds. :-)