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graindart - Friday Jan 24, 2003

Weight: 239.8

239.8 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets, no snacks, ate dinner late (7:15pm), but nothing after 7:45pm.


graindart - Thursday Jan 23, 2003

Weight: 238.8

238.8 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets. Just a pb&j sandwich for lunch. Pizza and cheesbread for dinner. Nothing after 7pm and no snacks. As long as I'm seeing weight loss on a regular basis, I have no problem with not having snacks, pop, etc. However when I go a few days with no progress noted, or even a gained pound, I feel like it's not worth it and I might as well just gorge myself and suck down a 55 gallon barrel of pop. But as of today, everything's going good. It's been probably almost a year since I've seen the 230's, and I can't wait to see the 220's again soon, hopefully by the end of February. The end of February seems like such a long time from now. I don't usually try to figure out how much I'll weigh and when, but it'd be nice to think that I could get down to 199 lbs by the beginning of summer. That'd be about 10 lbs. lost each month. I don't know if that's practical or not. I'm kind of thinking that what will probably happen is an easy first 20 lbs of loss, followed by a plateau, which is where most people, me included, usually just decides that it's not worth it and starts gaining back some of the weight. As everyone knows and fears, if you start going back up, you get depressed and start to eat even more, and end up gaining all the weight back plus an extra 10-15 lbs.

It kind of stinks that you can't predict weight loss. If someone could guarantee me that I'd weigh 199 lbs by the beginning of summer, I'd stick with things and be looking forward to it. Although once I hit 199, I then have to keep going for my 170 lb "ideal weight". I think that 199 is achievable, but I'm not sure about 170. It doesn't matter too much, because 199 would be such an improvement that I doubt that it'd bother me all that much.

How do people let themselves go? I used to see people larger than me and ask that question. I guess I have to look in the mirror now when I ask that question. I know when I was overweight and weighed in the 190's, I use to justify my weight by seeing people in the 250+ range and saying to myself "I may be overweight, but at least I'm not that overweight, that obese." Now that I've hit 250, I'm still saying that to myself, only I have to look at people 300+ lbs to say it.

My best friend has been steadily gaining weight over the past 5-8 years, and is now within about 10 lbs of me. He's always mentioning how much he hates being that fat and disgusting. I don't ever really notice my weight, unless I hear him complaining about his own weight, and then I become a little more self conscious. I guess it's good to hear him complaining about it sometimes, otherwise I might just keep rationalizing my weight gain, as I don't usually think about it too much.

breakaway on 01/24/2003:
I know what you mean when you used to say that about overweight people...I am guilty of it too..When I was in high school I was alway 110 and wondered how some of the girl could let themselves get so big...I never seen this coming at all. It just seems like all of a sudden wham here I am huge as ever. I don't remember ever getting on the scale and seeing it go up ever. I was just here and then I wonder how it happened. Sick huh? oh well, we just have to work hard to get that off and feel better about ourselves. Good luck to you and hope your scale has nothing but good news for you next time you jump on it. Great job not giving into the soda and sweets today AGAIN!!

Have a great day!

Carrie


pastagal on 01/24/2003:
Just a few tips,,don't let the scale and numbers take over your thoughts and will power,,get yourself a pair of jeans that are one size to small and try them on daily,,be consistent with your diet and take each day like its the first day of your diet,drink alot of water ,use a straw if needed to get more water in,and know it takes time and patience but you will succeed if you want it bad enough,and remember there will be many days ahead that it feels like nothing is working,but it is,,just don't get discourged and think you should give up,its take lots of hard work and CONSISTENCY w/portion control and making better food choices to get the weight off and keep it off,,look at this as a Lifestyle change and not so much as a DIET,,,,hope this helps,,have a great day!


Tigger on 01/24/2003:
I know what you mean about not knowing how this happened. I think that a real wake up call for me was one day about two months ago. My best friend was dating a woman that I thought of as "really fat" I would think to myself, boy I might be out of shape but at least I don't look like her. Then one day I happened to be doing laundry in the laundry room of our duplex and noticed a pair of her pants hanging up... they were the same size I wear. I stepped on the scale for the first time in about a year and I honestly felt dizzy when I had to keep edging the weights up until the scale registered 200lbs.

But, on the same hand... don't be too hard on yourself. You are back in control now. I know sometimes it feels like food is in control, but you are the one in the drivers seat. Just keep going as best you can!

Sarah



graindart - Wednesday Jan 22, 2003

Weight: 239.8

239.8 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets. I kept walking past the Chex Mix, and finally succumbed to 1 mouthful. I'm not hungry, but I do miss the eating all of the time. Giving up on the pop has been a lot easier than I anticipated. I've just replaced my pop consumption with water. I've tried giving up on pop before, but it's never lasted more than a few weeks. I think that it's going good this time because whenever I go driving somewhere I usually remember to bring a bottle or two of water. Also, when I fill up the gas tank, I pay at the pump with a credit card. Since I don't even enter the gas station, I'm not tempted to buy pop.

I haven't cut down on my lunch and dinner at all, basically anything except for pop is allowed, just no snacking inbetween. Dinner was huge tonight. We went out to a nice restaurant. Big salad with all of the "not so good for you" fixings. Big prime rib with fresh ground horseradish; side of pasta and scones with honey butter. It was sooooooo good.

I've been contemplating about starting some exercise and/or watching what I eat for my meals. I'm kind of leaning away from watching what I eat for my meals, because it's just too much stuff to remember. Cutting out snacks, sweets, and pop has been working alright so far, no hunger and not feeling miserable or tired. I've tried changing all of my eating / drinking / exercise habits at once before, and it seemed like I spent all day just thinking about food, feeling tired, and being downright miserable. As long as the pounds keep dropping, allbeit slowly, I think I'll remain with my idea of eating whatever I feel like within reason for lunch or dinner.

As for the exercise, I don't know. Every form of regular exercise bores me to death. I HATE walking, running, or stair-climbing. I enjoy going skiing, but that's only doable once every 2-3 weeks. I've been thinking about putting up a "heavy bag" in the basement and seeing what punching it for 1/2 hour feels like. I really don't feel like going to the gym, it seems to take way too long. I don't know how some people can go to the gym over a lunch hour. With drive times, the minimum it takes me to go to the gym and get some decent exercise is approximately 2 hours, which is a lot more time than I'd care to spend. I wish I lived in a larger city; a 24 hour gym would be nice. I don't really have much spare time during the day, and things don't tend to slow down until around 8pm. I'd probably get some use out of the gym if it were open until at least midnight; that way I'd be able to go from 8:30pm - 10:30pm and not feel like I was getting rushed out because of closing time. A 24 hour gym would be even nicer, because I could go whenever I felt like it and wouldn't have any time constraints. Oh well, not planning on moving, so I'd better quit dreaming.

breakaway on 01/23/2003:
We have a 24 hour gym here and it is nice to have that choice. Your doing great with the idea to not do it all at once. That is exactly what I am doing and man is if ever working. The weight is really coming off now. All I did really is decrease my eating at night but not by much...and drink more water. I have decressed my calories a bit but nothing real large. You are doing wonderful!! Keep up the great work...Hope baby to be is doing good.

Have a great day today!

Carrie



graindart - Monday Jan 20, 2003

Weight: 241.8

241.8 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets. Stuck sitting at my computer doing work all day. Maybe I should try getting out some soon.

breakaway on 01/21/2003:
Great job on the no soda and sweets again!...sucks to be stuck at your desk all day though. Have a great day today.

Carrie



graindart - Sunday Jan 19, 2003

Weight: 242.0

242.0 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets. Don't know where the extra pound came from, but my weight tends to flucuate anyways. Anybody think that stress alone adds pounds? ;-) Not that I'll be complaining when the checks come in, but I've been super busy lately with work, which probably helps keep me from thinking about snacking.

breakaway on 01/20/2003:
If your not doing anything wrong diet wise I wouldn't worry about that extra pound...I hear it means good things to come!;) Have a wonderful day today!

Carrie


Beth 201 on 01/20/2003:
My body does that same thing. I gain a pound off and on. Don't worry about it if you are still hanging in there on your program. You are doing great. Beth ;)



graindart - Saturday Jan 18, 2003

Weight: 240.8

240.8 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets. Ate supper late....around 7:45pm, but nothing after that.

breakaway on 01/18/2003:
Wow, I just commented on your last entry and here you are again. lol Your quick! <font color=blue> <B> CONGRATULATIONS on not having any soda again today!! </b></font>I remember giving up soda about a yr back and after about a month not drinking soda it tasted really nasty when I finally did have a can...but I got used to it again and here I am drinking it again...that is going to be one of my future goals.

Take care and your doing great!!

Carrie



graindart - Thursday Jan 16, 2003

Weight: 241.2

241.2 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets, today :-)

It's been a few days since I last wrote in this diary. I veered from my course a little. Nothing terrible, but I was taking my wife to a movie, and I really wanted a thing of popcorn and a regular Pepsi. So I had them, got extra butter, but at least just bought both in the smallest size available. Then the next day I was over at family's house, and drank a pop. Later that night my wife was munching away on some chocolate in the bedroom, so I had to have a little square......then I had to have another little square......then a 3rd little square. It only amounted to about 1/4 of a regular candy bar, so I didn't feel too terribly guilty. Although I guess I felt guilty enough not to post on here for a few days.

Yesterday and today went better, no screw-ups. I'm feeling kind of hungry right now, but it's after 7pm, so I'll just deal.

I'm not hungry very often, but I sure do miss eating the candy, pop, and especially eating something right before bed. It seems like I've been going on with this change in my eating habits for a long time, but it's only been 16 days. I guess I can't complain though, at least I'm seeing some weight progress. If I weren't seeing any change in weight, I'd probably just decide to go back to eating everything and anything I wanted, anytime I wanted.

Losing the weight isn't usually on my mind much. This may sound funny, but even though I weigh 250 lbs, I don't think of myself as being obese or anything, I just think of myself as being a little overweight. Of course, there's no way in God's green earth that I'd take off my shirt in public and go swimming, so I guess there are times that I'm self conscious of the fact that I'm overweight.

I can't really imagine what it would be like to weigh 170 lbs. It's probably been a good 10-15 years since I weighed that (early high school). Whenever I go skiing or play paintball or something, I'm more aware of the weight though. Is it wrong to hate skinny people? ;-) My brother-in-law is 6'4" and weighs about 150 lbs. That's a lot thinner than I'd like, but he stays that thin, and yet eats everything and anything that he wants. My wife's pregnant and eating like there's no tomorrow. Her eating habits mirror mine pretty much, although with less pop and a few more fruits. She's 5'10" and usually weighs 125 lbs, although she's up to 150 lbs due to being 8 months pregnant. She's always been in the ideal weight range her whole life, and I'll bet she continues eating like crazy and still drops back down to 130 lbs within 3 months of giving birth. It's not that I want her to keep the weight on, it's just that it's not fair to those of us who have to make a conscious effort to drop some pounds. :-)

Beth 201 on 01/17/2003:
First thing..It's ok to have those items once in awhile (chocolate, popcorn etc). Hey it is not much fun to not have a snack once in awhile. Hey you are doing good. You keep it up. I did not realize how I looked and how much over weight I had gotten until I see photos of me. Then WOW! But we are going to lose this weight and then we are going to have fun. Congrats on the little bundle coming soon. You take care and keep that chin up. Your doing Great! Beth :)


ameilia on 01/17/2003:
I know I know!!! I hate those skinny people because they are everything that I want to be. Dont get me wrong I love me but I want a smaller version. My bf eats really bad food like allll the time and hardly ever gains a pound and when I eat like him I gain lots.

Remember that feeling of taking your shirt off for swimming in public and remember it when you open the junk food. More fruits and veges will fill you up and they really arent all that bad you can put yummy flavours into them.

Keep going keep motivated YOU CAN DO IT


breakaway on 01/18/2003:
Grrr I hate your wife. lol No I'm only teasing...but I'm sure she get's a lot of teasing after she bounces right back after giving birth. My husband does alot of the same things you do...doesn't really care much (he says) about his weight but yet doesn't like to take off his shirt in public. I always tell him hes irresitable but he won't believe me. Just remember those skinny's can't hold a candle to the men who actually have some meat on their bodies! Wish you lots of luck getting the weight down to where you want it...tell your wife good luck with baby. You will have to post a pic here when your baby is born...we love to see babies! :) Have a wonderful day today and I think it was wonderful that you stuck to not eating a whole candy bar...believe it or not that is some very strong will power. To only have a little of something and then stop is more impressive then not having it at all I think.

Carrie



graindart - Friday Jan 10, 2003

Weight: 245.0

245.0 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets.

Beth 201 on 01/10/2003:
Keep up the good work. You are doing better then me on the soda area. Have a great weekend. Beth :)



graindart - Thursday Jan 09, 2003

Weight: 244.4

244.4 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, no sweets. Slimfast for breakfast. Gyro for lunch. A LOT for dinner. No snacks. Some water, some cravings. Not hungry much at all, but craving chocolate. I hate that new Hershey's commercial! :)

All in all not a bad day. Tomorrow should be the test. I've got to be on the road for approximately 12 hours, with a couple stops. This is when I usually drink a few 32oz. fountain drinks and eat enough beef jerky and fried gas station food to choke an ox. It's not ever because I'm hungry, it's just comfort food on an incredibly long and boring drive.


graindart - Wednesday Jan 08, 2003

Weight: 244.8

244.8 / 250.8 / 199

No pop, one spoonful of ice cream after 7pm. I reeeeaaaalllly wanted some chocolate today. I was rationalizing it like crazy, even thought about how pop and candy make me feel good. Made it through the day without giving in. However, my wife got home from work and was relaxing and asked me to get her some ice cream. She's pregnant and is eating anything she wants at any time she feels like it. I dished her some ice cream, and it was calling to me. So I had 1 teaspoon full, tasted ok, would've preferred an "After 8" mint.


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