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happy-1 - Tuesday Sep 19, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Got into a huge fight with my mom this morning. They went shopping yesterday and brought home sourdough bread, mini pizzas, and other bread products. They are also not supposed to eat these... and they don't just eat them, they gorge on them... like a loaf a day. They are supposed to hide them or keep them in their rooms but they don't. I put the frozen pizzas on my mom's bed and asked her to hide them better and offered to make her breakfast, and she flew into a black rage and cursed and said mean foul things. I said I'd like to keep my hands, feet and eyes... if I was an alcoholic you wouldn't keep vodka out. She said I had to purge the house of everything she can't control herself with... so I have to clear out string cheese sticks, protein bars, dark chocolate, etc. And don't make her breakfast. She hates me. Ok. I will do that then. Even if those things are part of my diet program and meal plan prescribed by docs. Ok. Already had breakfast on so I fed her anyway. She sure enjoyed her breakfast of no-added nitrite apple sausage, organic eggs, wilted power greens, and sweet blueberry overnight oats. I know what I am getting her for Christmas. A tshirt that says "I'm sorry for the things I said when I was hungry."

----

Augh the stress of not packing my own food is going to show in my pocket book and my waistline... 2,852 calories so far and I'm still hungry. 

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/19/2017:
sorry they bought all the trash and it's surrouding you easy to find! i also do not buy things that i'll gorge on! no thank you! sorry...make sur ethere's healthy things. sorry your power greens were wilted!

happy-1 on 09/19/2017:
No no I wilted them on purpose! I buy a giant bad of baby greens (kale, chard, spinach) and stick 2 cups in the microwave at a time with maybe a tablespoon of water. It makes them softer to eat without added calories or loss of vitamins and actually more satisfying


horn_of_plenty on 09/19/2017:
oh, very interesting!

happy-1 on 09/19/2017:
Also good when you mix with hummus


bearcountrygg on 09/19/2017:
Are you your parents caretaker? I took care of my Dad for several weeks before his death because my Mom couldn't do things for him like flush his catheter and then after his death, then I was her caretaker for over 7 years and she was a diabetic...who ate chocolate...I know the battle...

happy-1 on 09/19/2017:
I am and I'm not. My therapist says I need to move out or I will lose my whole life to taking care of them... but it is more that they don't feel the need to clean or take care of themselves and I can't watch it without trying to help. I actually could just go... I just don't have a destination. Mostly looking for a job up in LA so I can move to be on the train line in Riverside.


bearcountrygg on 09/20/2017:
Well Happy...I can tell you 100%...I agree with your therapist. If they don't feel like cleaning or taking care of themselves then that is their right....I have to say that My husband and I lived apart for the 7 years I took care of my Mother with only visits with each other every 2 weeks. My Mother wasn't ok mentally...and I'm an only child who promised my Dad that I would take care of her when he was dying. My Mother refused to live with us...so I had to take are of her at her house She was a force to reckon with...( as in...the inmate was running the asylum)....but by the time I started taking care of them we had already raised our family and we were retired so the whole process was do able. You are still young and you have so much living to do yet. I hope you can find something that helps you start living for you soon...How old are your parents...Mine were already in their 80's when I was taking care of them.


horn_of_plenty on 09/20/2017:
good idea yes to mix the greens in hummus - i'd like that one!


Donkey on 09/23/2017:
(((hugs)))


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happy-1 - Monday Sep 18, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

4:20am and I can't sleep a wink. And even if I eat I am hungry again. I am just going to stay up today and try to hack it because I need to reset my body clock now. Ugh. Should have taken a sleep aid... thought I would be able to sleep on my own because I was so tired... but no luck.

And I am dying for toast.

About 45 days through the 60 day challenge. I am doing my best every day. Some days I have more in me than others.

UDG and I are remotely doing gym buddy today... the plan is to go to our respective gyms and workout at 12 pm in solidarity.

I tore apart my parents kitchen... pulled out everything in the lower cabinets. There was no room to put dishes. Discovered the reason was that there were hundreds of aluminum pie plates from decades of frozen pies. Recycling! I will probably get myself disowned but all the cookware is in the dining room and nobody can sit down. Hope I can pull it back together by Thursday. I leave for the river on Friday!

----

10:20am - paradox that is adhd... I got up at 6, made breakfast and took my adhd meds but no coffee and the amphetamines knocked me out like a prize fighter down for the count. Oi.

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/18/2017:
You know..once my parents had both passed away and I had to empty out their house ...I found a stash of those too...along with 12 big bins of newspaper and magazine and recipe clippings...all cut out....do you know how long that must have taken my mom to clip those? I can't even imagine...she had warned me that she was leaving me a mess...she tried to go through them and toss them..but she just couldn't make herself do it....she was 89 and some of them were so old they must have been from 80 years before. I also found 40 pairs of various types of scissors...I guess we all have our vices and hang ups...that was one of hers....after she passed away almost 3 years ago...I went through them one by one...it took me many days....I found a couple of treasures...1 clipping that was 84 years old..and was about how her brother had been run over by the horse drawn sycle bar at their grandparents farm when he swatted a fly on the horse...and the bar had cut off both of his feet which were left hanging by both achiles tendons...(amazingly they reattached both feet and he lived to the age of 94 ( he died 2 months after my Mother)...I was happy to have rescued that clipping and return it to his children who had no idea why their father was handicapped. My mom had a pile of those same aluminum pie plates...used strictly to catch the scratch off lottery ticket silver stuff...so it didn't land on the carpet...LOL


horn_of_plenty on 09/18/2017:
Hi Happy! It's totally normal to feel like you are smooth sailing some days and then others feeling like you need all the help in the world just to get outta bed or get outta the house. Totally normal. Keep doing your BEST!

I struggle sometimes with sleep too.


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happy-1 - Saturday Sep 16, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

My replacement Fitbit Charge 2 has arrived! Life can resume again. I have been floundering without it!

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/16/2017:
I have something like that but didn't use it much because I didn't really understand it...and now that I'm using Ethernet instead of wifi I was afraid I couldn't use it...do you know about Ethernet with fitbit?

happy-1 on 09/18/2017:
Fitbit connects to your laptop by the charging cable or to your phone via Bluetooth.

If I was going to buy a new one I might be tempted by a Garmin, but Fitbit is supposed to be better for people who want to be social with their fitness motivation. Like we could all add each other on Fitbit and there would be a leaderboard and ability to cheer each other on.

Except HoP is going to be a cop and lives in NY so she'll always be at the top of the leaderboard


Horn_of_plenty on 09/17/2017:
Lol too funny, you know you can live without your fitbit haha.

happy-1 on 09/18/2017:
But I am so much more motivated with it


bearcountrygg on 09/18/2017:
Ok...so then I might still be ale to use it without having a wifi router then...I need to dig it out I guess...and give it a try again.


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happy-1 - Friday Sep 15, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Was 2 inches taller and 4lbs lighter at the doctors office today! Fingers crossed for good bloodwork too off the 60 day challenge!

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/16/2017:
You grew 2 inches? Yeah for the pound loss!

happy-1 on 09/16/2017:
I think the curvature of my spine and neck is better so I am my normal height again. At 5'10" I am still the shortest woman in my family. In all the family photos, I'm the midget. In all the achool class photos, I'm the tallest kid in my class.


bearcountrygg on 09/16/2017:
Well that can only be a good thing, I have to remind myself to look straight ahead sometimes...I have a tendency to watch where I'm walking instead...


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happy-1 - Sunday Sep 10, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Sunday night and I am getting ready for a second round interview tomorrow. I had lovely references from past coworkers and managers. Hopefully I will kick ass and take names.

Trying to prepare for the interview, but all I can think about is emergency preparations. The 8.2 earthquake that hit Mexico usually travels north to us afterwards on that fault line... Also, Irma is about to take out my mom's condo. She's here with me so she's ok, but she left the family photos in the living room in front of the window... and they are about to be under 6 ft of water. She does not have insurance and the cleanup and repairs may be more than she can pull off. Very anxious.

Still chatting with UDG. A little conflicted because I like him a lot, but worry that if we take it to the next level, it'll give him a heart attack... And that's not sexy. He had a hard time just getting into his car the other night. It was a full on sweaty workout to get into the car seat and the seatbelt fastened. I want someone who will be around for the next 20 years and the way he's going... more than a couple of months would be a gift. Still I feel better whenever I talk to him and that is a quality I can't pass on.

I am still on the online dating sites... But not pulling in any winners. Did get some haterade for posting a current photo of myself rock climbing at REI ladies night. "What do you weigh? You must not go hiking very often judging by how fat you are!" I should have told him to go back to diddling himself in his mom's basement but I blocked him first and can't undo it to send a nastygram back.

Need to get it together and start hitting the gym every day. Read an article on http://fitwithvicki.com/ that suggested if you are over 200 lbs, you need to work on diet and small improvements first and don't worry about exercising every day. It sure feels like that's all I can manage.

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/11/2017:
I'm glad to hear that your mom is safe...I know photos are important...hopefully they were spared. Sweaty guy sounds like he could use a diet buddy...do you think he would go for that? The other isn't worth your time or energy...at the rate he is going he will never find someone to put up with his mouth.....I agree hat cutting back on food should be done for people over 200...exercising is hard at this weight and toning up will be more important later...and it always amazes me how few calories are actually burned with exercise....taming the food monster makes the most sense. Of course we should be getting SOME exercise...jut not so that it is overwhelming. My husband and I both have some health issues right now that demand we lose weight...and I guess that scared us into getting really serious, yesterday he hit 200 and he hasn't been there in 20 years...he has cut back and he's eating lots of fresh raw vegetables and fruit. We are both so happy ....I just got serious a few days ago...and oddly..it is now easy...I guess the motivation is the mot important thing.


legcramps on 09/11/2017:
I think whatever changes you can make now are only going to help you later, so whatever you do - change up your diet or start an exercise routine - you rock it and you'll get to where you want to be!

happy-1 on 09/18/2017:
Hugs. Ty!


horn_of_plenty on 09/11/2017:
Hi Happy!

I am glad to hear that the 1st round went well – good luck today!

I def do NOT think you should take if too far with this guy. Sounds to me you need somebody a little more active, Happy!

I’m glad you were proud of yourself and don’t take the hater’s comments to heart. Anyone that can send hate and nasty comments on someone’s body obviously has a lot of self-esteem issues of their own going on!

Yes – in order to lose weight it’s more about diet and less about the exercise. You don’t wanna diet too strict, but you do need a calorie deficit which is easier to achieve thru diet than exercise. I know from experience and agree with all the literature!

Take care and stay Happy, HAPPY!


biscottibody59 on 09/12/2017:
Welcome (belatedly) to DDs!

Looks like you're in the game and that's the main thing. Keep up the good work!

Good luck with the interviewing!



happy-1 - Thursday Sep 07, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Back from Catalina. Oi... real life. Was up late last night doing laundry and putting the house back together.

Woke up: 9:45 B: 4 packs of trail mix, matcha L: greek frozen yogurt bar at 3pm. Super hungry but fridge isn't organized enough to find food. Spent morning cleaning... chicken/egg problem. Must clean fridge to find food. Must find food to have will to clean fridge. Only the strong will survive S: Cleaning out fridge and snacking my way through. 2 pieces of cheese, 2 hardboiled eggs, snap peas, matcha

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/07/2017:
Always nice to get back home from a trip....after the clean up that is.

happy-1 on 09/10/2017:
OMG 3 days of being a kid again. Can I go back????


horn_of_plenty on 09/08/2017:
Hello Happy!!!

I see you are STILL an addict of those trail mix packets….this is probably the particular reason I do not keep any at home….but if you want to try to have only one packet, the tip is to have your matcha ready so that by the time you are finished eating the 1st packet, the match is in your hand ready to deliver to your mouth! This is literally how I do things!!!!!!!!! To stop eating, I have the drink READY so that it’s not like I stopped with the food, still putting something in my mouth, just not any more calories….

I know what you mean by wanting to eat and then do the work….i am same! If I am hungry, that’s all I think about and really don’t like to do work until I’ve satisfied my hunger either lol…

Seems you have a good mix of snacking foods in your fridge….but yeah sounds like you are ready to go shopping soon for more ! LOL….happy FRIDAY!

happy-1 on 09/10/2017:
Hugs! Yes... I love trail mix but my bodyfat does not.


Donkey on 09/09/2017:
Welcome back!!!

happy-1 on 09/10/2017:
Hugs! Missed you guys!



happy-1 - Wednesday Aug 30, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Ugh, didn't even realize there was no evacuation order for Houston till I read this... http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/08/28/546721363/why-didn-t-officials-order-the-evacuation-of-houston

Interview today. I am a little worried because I don't really understand the company... it is a cashback rewards program that watches your credit card transactions, but if it is able to see all items purchased, that's a lot of data to give up about yourself. Scary.

Up:8:45 B: matcha, overnight oats

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/30/2017:
Wow..that is scary....be very careful about giving up your privacy rights...Did you google the company to see if it's legit?


innerpeace on 08/31/2017:
Yes this entire situation is devastating. I cannot believe they didn't learn more from Hurricane Katrina, as I was activated to help with this situation and after, sealed the deal for me to retire. It was the worst feeling ever and from there I lost all hope and faith in the human spirit and learned....

Evacuation order or not, couldn't one as a thinking for oneself human being take care of themselves and leave the area without being told by a city official?

I just read this morning a tropical storm could turn into a hurricane by the end of the week, headed for Florida. If I was in Florida, I would be making arrangements to leave now...and then again one could always choose not to live on a coast line.

I hope you did well on your interview...if you went. I hope they were able to explain the job and/or company to you.


horn_of_plenty on 09/01/2017:
Good luck on interview...but everywhere and anywhere we always give up data about ourselves - a famous person once said that he couldn't even write a formal business letter without revealing something about himself!



happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 29, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Turning in the training funding application today.. I am so nervous about it and had such a hard time putting it together. Part of me assumes I am going to get turned down and another part of me slaps that part and says don't be stupid. Being afraid you will get turned down doesn't mean not doing it at all so you aren't disappointed is the right thing either. Suck it up cupcake and just show up and see what happens.

So I am at the workforce center waiting for my appointment.

29 days into 60 day challenge. With this next half I want to build on my regular 7-8 hours of sleep and elimination of simple carbs.

Missed my workout today though. I really need to move to a closer gym.

Breakfast: matcha, overnight oats

Lunch: black beans, cheese, enchilada sauce, kale, sweet potato chips.

Snack: cheese stick, 2 hardboiled eggs, carrot sticks, hummus

Snack: paleo brownie, 4 tbsp frozen yogurt

Dinner: porkchop in mushroom gravy, mashed potatoes, kale

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/29/2017:
Yup...think positive you never know.


horn_of_plenty on 08/30/2017:
Yes, i agree that you should think positively about the application! Just like the lotto - "you gotta be in it to win it!"....

Wow so already you are halfway into the challenge! amazing!

Yes, i like to have a gym as close as humanly possible....that's def most convenient especially if it's bad weather, my gym i can only go via local roads which is good during storms not to have to be on a highway....

with gyms, they are best when they are able to add convenience into our lives rather than too many obstacles and/or frustrating challenges!



happy-1 - Monday Aug 28, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Still PMS. Still a little crazy/cranky. Worried I'll have it while I'm supposed to be snorkeling Catalina and a shark will eat me if I go in the water. Aaaaargh!

Ate two slices of pizza today, but tomorrow is another day and the giant living room pile is No More! It is conquered. Sorted! Boxed! Dejunked!

Next step is to figure out what to do with it all and clean the carpets. I should probably buy a carpet cleaner so I can do it in small patches, but balk at spending $200 when I am unemployed and it isn't something I should buy used.

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/29/2017:
yeah...for conquering the pile of stuff!

happy-1 on 08/29/2017:
Yeah... still need to figure out what to do with it all. Not a normal looking living room dining area by any means, but one step at a time, one box at a time.


horn_of_plenty on 08/29/2017:
Lately no PMS but bad pimples. I think was was stressing when a friend came to NYC and i was planning with her and the pimples showed up directly when she went back home to France!

Lately instead of PMS, i'm just EXTREMELY TIRED and been craving sleep. So just taking it as easy as possible at work.


bearcountrygg on 08/29/2017:
Hysterectomy at 48...I had forgotten about PMS

happy-1 on 08/29/2017:
Hugs! Hope you feel better now.


bearcountrygg on 08/29/2017:
Oh yeah...I had fibroids and really bad endomettiosis and ovarian cysts..the hysterectomy solved all of that...instant menopause...LOL



happy-1 - Thursday Aug 24, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 240.2

Didn't get everything done today but I didn't yesterday either so I might as well just call it a night and go to bed on time. I ate a lot of junk tonight in a hormonal meltdown... an ice cream sandwich, personal pepperoni pizza, and a chocolate chip cookie. Going to bed early is my best first step to getting back on track.

Heard from Scott today. He has new apple earphones and wanted to rub it in. I should have responded with the finger.

Sent me into a Tinder fidget widget storm. Realized it was unproductive and deleted my profile again.

Ugh. Where is the decent dude I can connect with?

Hugs kiddos. If you need to hug yourself, that's cool too.

Progress as of today: 67.8 lbs lost so far, only 60.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/26/2017:
Hormones are truly a cross to bear. They make life difficult, but without them, life is difficult.

happy-1 on 08/28/2017:
Hugs, no kidding.


bearcountrygg on 08/26/2017:
UGH...He doesn't sound like he is good for you.

happy-1 on 08/28/2017:
Lol. I told him not to call me for a week today... that I am too PMS and he may lose a testicle.


horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2017:
I don't see a lot of decent dudes anywhere!

HUGS back to you!



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