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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Monday Feb 12, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 232.2

Ex found the spare key in the cup holder of his car. So I didn't lose it after all. Feel kind of bad that I went home last night instead of staying till this morning but I missed my dog and I was eating a lot of delicious simple carbs. Back on track today though.

-------

Up: 8am - a lot of neck pain so I stuck around the house longer than I should have cleaning and doing laundry . Got sucked into taking my dad out. Bought him lunch because he agreed to go to diner instead of mcdonalds. Then we went to the 99cent store where I lost him, freaked, then found him out by my car.

2:25pm... laying down for an hour to calm down. My heart is just pounding in my chest.

---

Got a recruiter call for a job that was way over my head, but a good company. B of A. It required someone who was good at Blueprint process orchestration and getting everyone in the company to agree on stuff... That's usually what my boss does... But they only wanted to pay in my range, lol.

----

Didn't realize till I posted my dinnertime snack that I forgot to log my weight today! I lost 1.2 lbs hanging out with my ex this weekend despite all the junk food I consumed Sat night and Sun lunch.

----

S: oatmeal, coffee, half and half

B: kellog crustless quiche, broccoli

S: 2 cheese sticks and some crackers, I think. A little fuzzy on what I ate today

L: cheese burger in a lettuce wrap. Split an order of sweet potato fries with my dad. Ranch dressing side.

S: A whole bag of Popped sweet potato chips. So freaking addictive. Ate out of frustration when I got home when my dad interrupted my nap because he was so excited about our lunchtime conversation.

D: two servings of turkey meat sauce and spaghetti. I dunno if I was hungry or frustrated.

S: a valentine's cake pop at starbucks, posting homework and burning off aggravation with mom.

Ms: 10:30 pm- top ramen because it's raining and I am starving

Progress as of today: 75.8 lbs lost so far, only 52.2 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/12/2018:
It is scary when you lose sight of them...been there...done that too. I'm happy to see you spent some time with your Dad though.

happy-1 on 02/12/2018:
I aged 10 years. My heart is still pounding in my chest.


bearcountrygg on 02/12/2018:
When they start acting like 3 year olds you really have to treat them like they are....It's like taking a three year old shopping and having them too big to fit into the seat In the cart....they wander off and unlike kids...no one else in the store thinks there is a problem with them going out the door....if he had been a 3 year old someone would probably have noticed.

happy-1 on 02/12/2018:
I think maybe 12 right now? The thing is he can't see very well so he follows people who look like me except I used to be fatter so he follows orher women thinking they are me.


bearcountrygg on 02/13/2018:
oh.....it's so sad dealing with parents as they literally become childlike. If your dad can't see well that says a lot....he must have been so confused standing at the car waiting.....My father in law actually walked behind D's sister as she mowed the grass, my Mom danced in her driveway and totally freaked the neighbors out...sad....I'm at the age too...and I am really working on keeping my mind active with puzzles etc.....because I definately see D taking after his dad and I need to be able to take care of him.....My FIL was diagnosed with dementia...my mom had basically been goofy my whole life..

happy-1 on 02/13/2018:
More like obstinate. He knew he was supposed to wait for me at checkout. He's there mentally so far. He's not rhat old, It's related to diabetes so it is something he could have controlled if he had stepped away from the mcdonalds and gone for walks


horn_of_plenty on 02/13/2018:
congrats on your weight loss..keep up the good work on job hunting & searching - that requires so much effort & patience.

happy-1 on 02/13/2018:
Thank you!!!! One step at a time.


bearcountrygg on 02/13/2018:
I guess I should say that my Mom had 1 head injury before I was born...and than another head injury in a car accident when I was 10.


bearcountrygg on 02/13/2018:
Yes...diabetes does affect the brain....I'm seeing it in D now......and other relatives. He may also be in a battle to control with you too...

happy-1 on 02/13/2018:
Yeah. He's what do you call it... oppositional defiant? like if someone in "power" or an authority tells him he should do something, he tells them to stuff it. So ergo, nothing I can do.



happy-1 - Sunday Feb 11, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Kind of off diet track Fri - Sun. Went down to SD to see ex and had a very nice time. Stuck around an extra day and got my brain back together. Am currently in his comfy chair tackling scary tasks and applying for jobs... Something that I've been kind of spacing out on.

He was even very nice when I lost his house key. Sigh.

It's just so good to get hugs and hang with a friend to relax.

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/12/2018:
i spaced out a bit this weekend too....it's such like you described...a paralyzing feeling :(...

took me thru lots of eating just to do laundry...glad it's all done, though...

happy-1 on 02/12/2018:
Hugs, I'm listening to American Gods on Audible. Super relaxing.


bearcountrygg on 02/12/2018:
You flew to S.D.? I'm glad to hear you had a good time.....applying for jobs in S.D?

happy-1 on 02/12/2018:
Drove down. Just 2hrs. Just went down to hang out for the day to hang out with my ex and came back up last night. He'll come up next time. He's on a cycle of half days off till they can do another hire.



happy-1 - Friday Feb 09, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Was up at 7 but spent till 10 in a kind of paralysis and not tackling the chores I need to do. Realized that it's because I am supposed to drive down to SD tomorrow to see my ex and I am in a paralysis from all the mean texts he sent. I just keep flashing through them and even though I deleted them from my phone as soon as they came in I remember the horrible sick feeling from the onslaught and freeze up.

---- Up - 7 S: 7- mp coffee oatmeal, late taking vyvanse at 8 B: mp - kellogs quiche, broccoli, more oatmeal S: mp - two no added nitrite turkey lettuce rolls with ranch. L: mp - apple slices, pb, paleo cookie S: mp - sweet potato fries, southwest dressing, extra was trail mix D: mp - cabbage salad, beans, rice, veg, bean burger, diet coke

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/09/2018:
Hugs...


Donkey on 02/10/2018:
Maybe pass on driving down to see the Ex. Food-wise looks like you had a good day.



happy-1 - Thursday Feb 08, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

There is nothing that puts me as full of hope as making a new female friend with her act together. K is a super cool lady I met at that meetup superbowl party and hit it off with. We got together for breakfast this morning and it was fun to sit and talk to her for a while. Have been really lonely with Molly not feeling hot and it was good just to sit and talk to someone with similar interests. She has a startup idea for dog owners that includes a social networking site and offered to pay me to do it for her... I winced at the "newbie" move but she's getting her international doctorate in business and knows how to do market research studies so I said I'd help her refine her idea if she helped me with my meal planning idea and we can just hang out and help each other.

She invited me to two things this weekend, lol. Except I am on my way down to see my ex this weekend and see if we can make another go of it. Happy Valentine's weekend to me!

----

Went on a terrible OKcupid date last night that made my ex down in SD look good.

He deliberately avoided any personal questions on the phone and just wanted to meet in person... But I was just happy to meet him for coffee at Starbucks... It might have been a bad day for him and he was worn out, or it might have been the terrible choice of Starbucks (poorly managed location that was disgustng and uncomfortable), or it might be that he is more confused about picking a partner than I am... But it was really aggravating to go through. He is a 46yo British ex pat who is a religous Muslim, doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and doesn't like living with pets and expects his partner to give up their dog or cat in order to live with him because he is allergic... or leave them at home to come to his place. He also doesn't like camping or doing anything that breaks a sweat outdoors. When asked why he isn't trying to find a nice lady in his group of friends, he answered that those women all want financial security (doctor, lawyer, engineer) and that he can't offer them that. But western women are more business minded and just want love and loyalty... and that he can do. He clearly pre-qualified me as not drinking, smoking, doing drugs, which left "dog owner" as his last obstacle. He positioned it as that if I held out for a guy that likes dogs, I would have to compromise and put up with cheating. When asked what he likes to do he said "I love to laugh and I am really funny." But nothing he said was funny... So I tried plling his chain with a fish story and he didn't call me out on it... And I let it stand because I suddenly felt awkward. So I ended up leaving and feeling bad because I inadvertently lied when I was trying to tease him with a preposterous fish story.

Never mind that on my profile my list of dealbreakers he hit like 5. 

UGH. HUMAN SPAM.

----

Back on the horse for a new 60 day challenge. I want to do all the "homework" the strength training daily challenges this round. I always struggle with habit consistency so this will be a big challenge. I bought an 8x10 tarp I can spread out in fronnt of my house and put a yoga mat on to do the homework.

From the challenge summary:

  • Each day you will be asked to perform either a Cardio or an Interval Training Workout
  • Each day you will be asked to perform Homework--a prescribed number of non-timed movements.
  • Each day you will be asked to adhere to the Nutrition Plan provided in the Guides section of the app. Pro Tip: Pack up your food in small containers, so that it is readily available throughout the day.
  • Each day you will be asked to eat an appropriate amount of vegetables.
  • Each day you will be asked to avoid simple carbs.
  • Each day you will be asked to get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep.
  • Each day you will be asked a simple, open-ended question about a topic relevant to the challenge. This will be shared with other participants on the challenge feed.
  • Each day you will be asked to read a brief article on fitness or nutrition.
  • Each day you will be reminded of a healthy habit and maybe asked to give it some consideration.
  • Each day you should be able to get through all of the challenge tasks within 60 minutes. 

 

----

Up: 8:30AM

S: Oatmeal, Coffee, half and half

B: Noah's Bagels eggwhite power sandwich, iced tea, 

S:

L:

S:

D:

S:

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/08/2018:
Well....you did a lot of learning there.....Sounds like that bad date clarified a lot of things.

happy-1 on 02/08/2018:
Omg... right???

I started making a list of deal breakers by "gate" like what I need to know after 3dates, 10 dates, 3 months, etc


Donkey on 02/08/2018:
Your new friend sounds so exciting! I hope that your friendship continues to grow :-)

happy-1 on 02/08/2018:
Right??? That would be amazing.



happy-1 - Tuesday Feb 06, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

In bed at 10 and up on time at 7. Already ate so no weigh in.

----

B: oatmeal walnuts raisin protein powder margerine

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/06/2018:
yep. i like to weigh in empty too!


horn_of_plenty on 02/06/2018:
laughing at your response back to me ;)


horn_of_plenty on 02/06/2018:
breakfast sounds tasty...lately i carb load my breakfasts...on the weekend i have one of the lighter cereals, still tastes good (with onyxorgum) and dried cranberries and almond milk..so tasty. but it doesn't stick with me - i'm hungry in two hours!

happy-1 on 02/06/2018:
That's why I like oatmeal. Sticks to your ribs, especially with a flax meal and chia meal boost. Rock solid in my tummy.


bearcountrygg on 02/06/2018:
I've been into the walnuts lately too...and weigh ins before eating are a lot more enjoyable.



happy-1 - Monday Feb 05, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Still in the running to get a red hat certification paid for by the state. Gotta turn in my packet tomorrow

----

Had a nice phone chat with guy from croatia that left me useless for the rest of my day. If there is anything close to sin on a stick it is that man. That much sex appeal should be illegal.

----

Took mom to see the shape of water and dinner. AWESOME movie.

----

B: oatmeal, coffee, half and half, mocha mix. S: diet pepsi, quesadilla, taco L: turkey roll up, mandms D: chicken pho, 2 egg rolls S: diet pepsi

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/06/2018:
What is Red Hat?......Happy you had some fun with your Mom......and Croatian guy???????

happy-1 on 02/06/2018:
It's a computer certification for being a linux sys admin. If I can get level 1 paid for, i'll have the cash to get the level 2


horn_of_plenty on 02/06/2018:
he sounds luscious.

happy-1 on 02/06/2018:
You have no idea. I'm surprised he isn't afraid to walk down the street for fear of random women flinging themselves on him like an old spice commercial.



happy-1 - Sunday Feb 04, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Superbowl sunday... found a party off meetup in my area that I will check out. Passing on a jacuzzi with the croatia dude. I will be unlikely to keep my hands to myself. But super glad to know that part of me isn't dead and buried.

Plus I feel a uti coming on and just don't want to be messed with or go further than local Starbucks. Have been yelled at for two days straight, everything hurts from the food bank yesterday and I just want to go back to bed but that will make stress worse. Starting with washing sheets so that I can't just go nap. Still need to do my hair. Should probably shave my legs too. Bleh.

Starving this morning. Ate two enormous bowls of oatmeal.

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/04/2018:
Hope your day gets better

happy-1 on 02/04/2018:
Ty!


horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2018:
Why would it be bad to keep your hands to yourself...

but with a UTI, i could understand...be careful and lay off the yeast? or does extra yeast help?

also, lay off the sugar...i know that hurts.

happy-1 on 02/06/2018:
Because I don't want a broken heart when he goes back to croatia. He's from Chicago but works in software training in croatia. He's also not really a relationship guy. He's more of a go with the flow guy. So delicious but does not fit with my life plan. What fits is someone nearby and available regularly, and likes to go camping.


horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2018:
i mean, i know the sugar can cause a UTI...it causes inflammation in general...my face is SO inflamed due to hormones and my sh*tty eating as of late also.


horn_of_plenty on 02/05/2018:
not sure about you, but today i'm realizing i cannot be so stressed at work anymore...stressed that work is slow and i have no work, i'm just gonna read the textbook and relax before i blow up from the stress lol...


Donkey on 02/05/2018:
I hope today was a better day for you, friend!



happy-1 - Saturday Feb 03, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Having an "end of my rope" day. This is an illusion because everything is fixable... I just need to wake up tomorrow and try again. ---- Volunteered at the food bank again today. Weirdly stress and anxiety reducing.., but also daunting at the volume of cleanup for the yard sale. I kept sitting down to take breaks and having to pee. Think maybe my uti might be coming back.

---

Have to remember to have a huge dinner available after the food bank so i don't binge on junk food.

----

When you can't make anything go better... go to bed.

-- B: oatmeal, coffee, half and half L: mp- spinach salad S: mp-hummus and ceg S: mp-yogurt berries and granola D exhaution meal - lean cuisine spaghetti, 6 meatballs and a minni pizza extra cheese, brownie

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/04/2018:
Cranberry juice is the thing for uti's......low or no sugar if possible......hope you feel better


Donkey on 02/04/2018:
Yogurt with live cultures is supposed to help too. I hope it's not a UTI. Usually I can catch these early. I hope you can too.

Is tonight date night with Mr. Croatia?

That's very wise advice there about going to bed when the day is bad.



happy-1 - Friday Feb 02, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Eyes poppedopen at 4:30 am this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. Might as well start my day.

---

Having a hard time finding things to apply to that fulfill UI requirements... In tech it is a game of "attractant" applications. You have to have a profile and publish work online to get recruited. The jobs listed on indeed and other sites are usually there to disqualify candidates from hire... so I have to look at jobs, see what I might not totally be miserable if I got a call from a recruiter and have to pass on, then apply and list it for the EDD.

----

S: 4:30 AM Coffee half and half, mocha mix, breakfast tray i tucked in freezer to experiment with freezing eggs

B: 8AM - Big bowl of oatmeal, walnuts, raisins, protein powder, coffee, mocha mix

S: Skipped 

L: 12:30 - Frozen meal prep - Chicken chili verde

S: too hungry to think, can't leave because I have to wait for bake sale goods to cool so I can cut and bag them. Nails were wet so I grabbed whatever was in front 3:30: potato salad, coleslaw hotlink

d: mini pizza

s: 7pm turkey burger, veg, cheese

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2018:
i enjoyed your comment to my previous comment....glad to read you aren't stupid!

happy-1 on 02/02/2018:
There are so few guys I enjoy being around in any way, I just relish the company when I find one I like, even if it won't go anywhere. Water on a desert.

happy-1 on 02/02/2018:
I hadn't had a hug in almost 8 months... breakfast and some decent company sounds so amazing.


horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2018:
i have forgotten what it's like to not be able to sleep, aside from seriously like one night in the past 7 weeks, i've slept like a baby each and every night...tons of sleep...hours upon hours!


bearcountrygg on 02/02/2018:
How well did the eggs freeze? I've been wondering about that myself.

happy-1 on 02/02/2018:
They were ok. I used arrowroot not cornstarch. Cornstarch works better but it isn't paleo


Maria7 on 02/02/2018:
I love coffee, too. Hope you are having a good day.

happy-1 on 02/02/2018:
mmm coffee...


Donkey on 02/03/2018:
Does Mocha Mix taste chocolate-y? Your breakfast sounds incredible!



happy-1 - Thursday Feb 01, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Oh my... met up with a fellow off Okcupid. As close to love at first sight as I am ever likely to get. He gives one hell of a hug, I will say that. Oh my oh my oh my... seeing him Sunday. How fun is that? Too bad he goes back to work in Croatia in two weeks.

-----

Mom did a protein run to be kind to me. Aaaaaw.

----

B: coffee, half n half, 3 eggs, 1 sausage S: yogurt, granola L: skipped S: cliff bar, water D: edamame pasta, sauce, 3 meatballs, parmesan, veggies S: 1 mini pizza stolen from my mom

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/02/2018:
Have you considered life in Croatia...?????? Too soon for that to be sure...but.....

happy-1 on 02/02/2018:
Lol. Sounds amazing, but I don't even have a passport and I'm a little down at the heels after being unemployed for a year... no international travel to kidnap ransom countries for me. He just had such an amazing profile I had to at least meet him for coffee. A little brunch and some hangout time on Sunday before the superbowl parties won't kill me. I can keep it above the waist and out of the heroin factory. It's just so nice to talk to a guy where there is no "wall".


horn_of_plenty on 02/02/2018:
wow....sounds the guy may get around!

happy-1 on 02/02/2018:
Of that I have no doubt.



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