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happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 18, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Up at 6:30! Yes!!!!!!!!! So nice to not start a day kicking myself.

---

Ok... here's my measurements and calculations.

Weight: 244.6 (3lbs is normal fluctuation. Probably salt in the pizza yesterday)
Height: 5'9"
Activity level: Moderately active... Sedentary job, intense exercise
 

Neck: 16.5
R Bicep:15
Bust: 45
Chest: 40
Waist: 39
Hips: 45
R Thigh: 27
R Calf: 17.25

Body type from calculator: Straight
BMI for 241.6: 35.7 (Obese, but not morbid anymore. Yay!)
Body fat: 41%
BMR: 1842 / RMR: 2157

Goal: Gain muscle ( I don't really care about fat loss. Fat is fuel.)
Nutrient targets: Calories 2882, Carbs 324, Protein 216, Fat 80

Goal: Fat Loss (If I am trying to lose fat instead of gain muscle then strip off the fat)
Nutrient targets: Calories 1905, Carbs 191, Protein 191, Fat 42

Current physical complaints: Depression, difficulty focusing, fatigue, neck pain + numb fingers on right side, weird rash on feet that might be flea bites, bulging and varicose veins, asthma, hayfever, 

Recent physical achievements: Normal to lower blood pressure, breaking my weight loss plateau, not having to take days to recover after camping.

---

Woke: 6:30, took meds

B: 10:40... should have eaten when I first got up. Tummy is not happy with me. Protein snack tray: carrots, chicken, hummus, cheese

Worked steadily at the coworking space today, focused on finding training programs recognized by the WIOA. Talked to the EDD about WIOA enrollment. They said I have to already be enrolled. And... Doh... The EDD only continues your benefits while you are enrolled in a WIOA program... It doesn't pay for it. I feel like such a dork. I could swear the New Horizons liason said that there were training grants of up to 7k when I looked at this last year. 

Sigh.  Was laid off May 3. I wasted a lot of time in a depression spiral and neck injury. I've gotten companies up and running in that amount of time. I've also wasted a bunch of money on earthquake preparations, clothes, food I had to toss, and camping gear, as well as going down to Scott's and buying meals and groceries down there. Ugh. Well not wasted, but probably shouldn't have spent it right now.

Hindsight is 20/20.

S: Protein Shake

L: Pollo asada leftovers with refried beans and polenta, salsa, guacamole, salad, ranch dressing.

4pm - Talked to a sales guy at General Assembly about their dev bootcamp. It's $15k and their admissions materials don't screen for high school math skills like functions and algorithyms. Not sure on that one. Instructors will be spread really thin.

Kept working through the list from the EDD. Maybe there will be something cheaper and more appropriate.

5:40 - Changed for hike. Need to leave at 6:30 to be there before 7. I want a cookie. Bad.

-- survived hike but took all the cheat shortcuts. By the time i got home I was starving. Made chinese food(fake chicken strips, cashews, frozen veg, rice noodles, cilantro, jalapenos, stirfry sauce) which I had 2 big servings of and an eggroll. I was so hot and tired and sticky, I took my dinner and ate it in a cold bath. I think I was still chewing as I hosed myself off. My dog was hungry too and kept scratching at the door to say "where's mine?" so I ran out naked, chased her down, picked her up and carried her back in with me, all paws swinging. I think she actually looked shocked.

10pm kind bar

10:30 in bed, lights off. Took Benadryl late. Just can't go anymore. Awesome day.

---

Extra awesomeness... according to Eat This Much, my calories for yesterday were on target for fat loss without really trying.

Cumulative stats:
189g Carbs

(156g net carbs)

68.2g Fat
113.7g Protein
1814.7 Calories

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/18/2017:
Looks like you know what you want to achieve...THATS GREAT!!! Good for you with the measurements!!!

happy-1 on 07/18/2017:
Thank you!


thinnside40 on 07/18/2017:
Great to have goals and a determination to go along with them.

happy-1 on 07/18/2017:
Thank you!!!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/19/2017:
Gaining muscle like you wrote above is a GREAT goal. Currently i think i'm losing weight bc i am losing muscle...i miss my 3x a week gym sessions. I currently go 2x per week and feel definitely that i'm getting weaker and need to use 5lb lower in weights :-(....i'm too busy right now to go 3x per week.

happy-1 on 07/19/2017:
Hugs. You will get back there soon.


thinnside40 on 07/19/2017:
Have a good Wednesday!


BearCountryGG on 07/19/2017:
quite the day you had...it wore me out.



happy-1 - Monday Jul 17, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Weigh in: 241.8. More interested in losing inches so maybe I should start doing body measurements. 

The good thing about losing weight slowly is that I don't think I am going to have extra skin, except around my boobs. How is it fair that I'm super fat AND a B cup?

Up at 11.30 AM. Not 6:30 like I wanted to be. Slept 8 hours exactly. Looks like I will have to take sleeping pills to get to sleep at a decent hour tonight.

B: 3 eggs, olive oil, 1 hotlink

(Forgot to eat kale with it. Ugh. 1 cup in the morning is supposed to trigger fat loss)

Showered.

S: blueberry overnight oats that turned out better than I ever would have imagined possible. Glad I made a batch.

1pm where did my day go???

2:40pm at coworking space. Foot is slightly better today... no sharp pain when standing/walking. Just a dull ache.

Signed up for a sierra club conditioning hike tomorrow night. Looking forward to the "Cocooon" old people pointng out I am out of shape.

3:30p - Discovered a Chrome extension that sorts and groups your boards for you. My brain feels so much better now! I love Pinterest and have lots of boards... I name them alphabetically and group by subject. Now I can find them!

S: 2 pieces of cheddar cheese and a peach. 1/2 a can of diet coke

4pm - Took adhd meds, really late. I can't drink caffeine after 2 so I hope I can stay awake. Pretty weird to take 80mg of amphetamines and want to just go take a nap. Ugh.

---

Called a couple of WIOA programs. Most of the ones that would actually be helpful are the ones that no longer run in my area. 20 hours a week for 18-24 hours a week and all during prime hours so if you find a job it gets really hard to complete a program. Hmmm... 

Grrr. Searching other county's programs. Maybe I will find something that has an online/remote completion option so I can do stuff after hours. Everything still running is Microsoft-based... Good if you want to do major corporations, but bad for doing B2C startups.

5pm - Lunch: Personal supreme pizza from bowling alley concessions. Definite "stress eating". 

---

Really liking the PlantoEat service. Might subscribe. I wish that the ingredients were able to be looked up in a nutritional database and tracked for you as part of the recipe. Eat This Much does that but it has fatal errors in the app on the primary path. Probably lost funding.

---

8:40 - left coworking space to get dog food and essentials for the week. Also picked up a pork roast for $1.49 a lb to take to the potluck on Saturday. I'm making pulled pork sandwiches  

10:00 - Took benadryl for allergies and sleep. Heated up dinner for myself and my dad. Mom went to bed on time. Debating whether I should pack the food I bought into meals or just go to sleep. Leaning towards sleep.

D: Turkey skillet, refried beans, cheese, coleslaw, ranch dressing, salsa

 

 

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/17/2017:
maybe you'll be tired naturally tonight despite sleeping in??

happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
From your lips to god's ears. If he/she has them.

happy-1 on 07/18/2017:
it worked!


BearCountryGG on 07/17/2017:
I need to try the overnight oats...They sound so good!

happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
OMG... They really were. The texture is much better than stovetop... the oats stay firm... like a soft granola bar... no slimy/squishy texture.

Salt to taste Stevia to taste 2 cups oats 2 cups vanilla almond milk 2 servings vanilla protein powder 1 package dried blueberries Cinnamon

To serve: Margarine Half n half

Whisk almond milk, protein powder, cinnamon, salt, stevia in a big bowl. Add oats and blue berries, then let sit in the fridge overnight. Take out in the morning and microwave desired serving. Top with margarine and half n half.


BearCountryGG on 07/17/2017:
sounds really good

happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Yeah, I think the "mistake" of not putting in a ton of almond milk like the online blog recipes call for was actually pretty good.


thinnside40 on 07/17/2017:
You and me both need to do the measuring thing. I'm a daily scale user and need to take those inches into consideration to keep from being discouraged.

happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Hugs. I'll face the tape measure in the morning!



happy-1 - Monday Jul 17, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Open question... Does anyone here use a meal planning app for managing what groceries they buy? 

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!


happy-1 - Sunday Jul 16, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Chilling at home today. Just not feeling well. And my foot hurts. I sighed a couple of times while walking on it and my dad lost his **** at me for sighing and leaving the room when he entered... i was like I'm cleaning and my foot hurts... i'm just walking around on a bum foot. He yelled more and then went out for Mc Donalds.

Goals for day: wash all the dishes, clean out the fridge, use up what I have in there, go through parent emergency kits and mark off what Ihave from the list. Hate that they are so lazy and won't do anything for themselves. When it cools down, go get gas in my car and hit Vons for a pork shoulder to take to potluck.

B: 3 eggs, hotlink, 2 pieces pita bread and margerine

Washed all the dishes. Cleared off a couple of cluttered surfaces in living room

S: protein shake

Made turkey taco skillet, refried beans and stevia-sweetened corn cake with cheese. A little carb and fat heavy but there is kale for a super chewy salad

D: turkey taco skillet and spinach salad

Ran to 99 cent store and bought a bunch of produce. Got gas.

Tried out Plan to Eat, a menu planning service that you put your recipes in and then it builds a grocery list for you.

Way better than I thought it would be. Dad really liked it and had no problems chewing it.

S: 3 large green tea lattes, 2 pieces of cheese, 1 pear

2:30 am - heading to bed finally. Have to be up at 7 if I want to go to the beach bootcamp

3:30 am - still up. Have been laying here for an hour. Took some Benadryl for allergies and to get to aleep. I will probably not make the workout again. I think I was doing better when IwS using the meditation app to get to sleep... but it was $13 a month

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/17/2017:
Oh Hiiii Happy Lady!

You know, I was walking around Queens (close to NYC) yesterday and I sighed without realizing. I was with an older guy in his late 50’s. He’s a friend of mine who acts like he’s half the age he really is! Anyways, he called me out on sighing and I’m glad he did bc I didn’t realize I did it…and my sighing will not be good for when I get myself into the NYPD….i have to try harder to get in shape! Lol….I was practically getting winded just from all the extra walking we were doing! LOL…I have my work cut out for me :-P But little by little, I’ll get there!! But I’m just so glad he did call me out bc I don’t want to be all huffing, puffing & sighing in the NYPD all day long my colleagues would kill me and also….when dating if I’m walking with a guy I really want, I do not want to be sighing like I’m outta shape with him! you know!?

The guy I was with yesterday is a friend. Too bad he isn’t a hair healthier and a non-smoker and richer, then I’d want to seriously date him. But he smokes and doesn’t have enough money .. I want someone a bit more higher class than him….and….and his personality is nice but he gets angry and annoyed to easily…I want a more calm man to date…a man with more self-esteem and confidence as well as more of a boss. But this man is a good friend------with benefits! It works right now….He provides some nice benefits let me tell you…it all feels good….but in the back of my mind I am always thinking of a different man that I am EXTREMELY attracted to. Friend with benefits also loves to go out and enjoy life…which I love enjoying with him. I wish the other guy would finally break down and try a relationship with me. Other guy doesn’t try at all…he’s afraid of relationships but I feel it could be so fun with him…if he’d let himself have fun. So for now, I’ll take the friend that’s available and have fun with him – makes me feel good & it’s better than not enjoying! Right!? So I enjoy life and enjoy having a man enjoy me for the time being – it’s a great deal..

OMG that corn cake sounds AMAZING. I want to buy a corn bread mix and make it with stevia….GOOD IDEA. Or if not stevia, with another no cal sweetener like erythritol. I love a nice corn bread…you tempt me! First I need to cook all the pastas I bought! But ohhhh does a sf cornbread sounds AMAZING!

Very nice on your turkey tacos. I cook turkey burgers often and also broiled up some precooked chicken sausages flavored so nicely. Premade.

Those 99C stores have great deals. Love them! I bought a ton at the one close to my work in this past month. All great purchases. From containers that are air tight to seal my hamster food…to a bracelet…to birthday/mother’s day/father’s day cards!, to cleaning products, to a pair of socks when I forgot them for running after work (was wearing sandals) to a couple small shovels for cleaning a hamster cage…how I LOVE this 99C store. We got TONS of them in Queens!!! Food is usually not great, besides eggs and snack foods they have really crappy brands of cookies/cakes/sodas. But nice decorations for holidays too and I also bought a door decoration for my front door at another dollar store! It says welcome and its cute!

That’s a TON of large green lattes…were you tired? Lately I try to lay off the caffeine bc it destroys my already sensitive skin and it also really screwed my sleep up….I’m learning to get the real rest and less caffeine. Actually learning, at almost 35 now!, to take care of myself better.!!!

Sleep meds = be careful. I take them when I want, on purpose, extra sleep after not sleeping well for several days. I try not to take them many days in a row bc sleep pills wear me out after a couple days even it stays in my system for like a cumulative effect …. I try to take usualy 1 day and up to 2 days in a row but never more. Have a nice day….meditation sounds the healthier way ! Stay happy!



happy-1 - Saturday Jul 15, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Stayed up too late watching Netflix. Didn't make it to beach bootcamp. I'm a jerk. Need to get myself together to get out the door to work out. I knew I was up late, I was just in a bad mood from dinner and lost myself in a tv show binge watch to vicariously feel better... instead of going to bed to get up early and make my own life happen.

Here is my morning overwhelm:

Overbooked today. Dad's birthday, lunch with an old friend, greek festival. Still have tons of stuff on my list and kind of panicking. Also, Scott is still kind of withdrawn. And I have an EDD interview that I am not sure what it is about. Dog is still licking paw obsessively and the red yeast isn't getting any better so I might need to take her to the vet. I need to get after all of it.

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time.

----

Got up at 10. Friend cancelled, made myself breakfast.

B: 2 pieces of white toast, margerine, olive oil, 3 eggs, 1 hotlink

Got dressed and hung out at home till 12 when my parents got up and started the daily complaint litany. Went out and washed and vacuumed car to go to a meetup at the greek festival but realized I am super dehydrated and made plans to go later instead. I think it was all the salt in the food at hometown buffet last night.

L: Frozen pizza

Dog keeps whacking me with her cone so I gave her benadryl to knock her out. She's super restless and gets up and down every 2 or 3 minutes.  She won't be happy until she is sitting on the couch next to me with her head and cone in my lap. Can't walk her because her quick is exposed and the cut on her paw pad is barely closed. 2 more weeks and more missed camping trips. Her summer just sucks and she's so cranky. Poor pup.

S: 1/3 of a chocolate cake

Successfully signed up with the Wilderness Travel Course with the Sierra Club. I opted in for the compass and text, which I am pretty excited about.

s: another 1/3 of a chocolate mini cake. Kind of stressed, feel like I shouldn't try to go to the greek festival. Like I need to get everything in order at home first. Cancelled onthe second Meetup

S: remaining 1/3 of chocolate mini cake, pear, bunchnof water

D: a chicken parmesan casserole I had in the fridge

Late night S: boiled pasta with butter and parm

S: blueberries

Just ate the fridge today, apparently

D: 

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!


happy-1 - Friday Jul 14, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Got a haircut today. I quite like it. Moreofthefriedpart gone. He also recommended dying it a couple shades darker so that the color grabs more evenly. I quite like it.

Went. To dinner with my parents and itwas rough. Mydad was determined to be helpful and hit every single one of my vulnerable spots. I was supposed to do stuff tonight butwas so worn out I am home and going to bed at 8.the only thing I want to so is go to bed early and pass out and have it be a better day tomorrow.

I think I really want a 24hourfitness membership again. Something to do to burn off. The pain and anguish of dealing with my dad.

This is a cool article on a guy that took a selfie every mile of the PCT. The time lapse video is awesome. http://amp.travelandleisure.com/articles/andy-davidhazy-selfie-hiker-interview-packing-list

Hopefully signing up for the Wilderness Travel Course tonight

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/15/2017:
Unfortunately so much of our lives can be taken up by allowing others to put us down....when what your dad is really doing is either covering up for his own disappointment in himself or he just has a very bad habit of being negative. Please don't rent him space in your head and let him affect how well you are really doing. I'm almost 68 years old and in those years I have experienced a lot of things, wife, mother of 2, grandmother of 2, great grandmother of 2 and foster mother to 8 babies from abuse and neglect circumstances and in that time I have come to understand that when people treat you badly it says a lot more about them then it says about you....so please don't let his opinion stop you from accomplishing what you want. His bad manners are his problem.......you are doing great.

happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Hugs... I try not to but whether I live here or not, my dad is the voice in my head that tears me down and I just need to tell it to shut up.



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 13, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Weigh in: 244.6

Yesterday I rage-cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, then separated out each of my repair projects into a separate bin. This morning I rage-cleaned the patio. Then I showered, got carefully dressed to look good (I hate being in public in a bad outfit)

How is it that an outfit I put together a couple of months ago as awesome looks terrible when I pull it out again later? Put on a classic black pencil skirt, taupe top, and put my hair up in a french roll... Then was horrified by the effect when I saw myself in the Post office reflection. Stopped at Marshalls to see if I could find some pants (weird tan lines and sun rash + forgot to shave my legs + just wobbly) but discovered I need to toss the shirt too... The way the arm holes dip is supremely unflattering. I think it might be a size too big now. I also need a new bra stat... 

At least I found pants I really like and a Lucky Brand top at Marshalls on clearance. The pants are kind of like palazzo pants but they are a putty linen-blend like khakis and long enough to cover my ankles (and all the mosquito bites). The top is a long sleeved jersey tunic in red and blue in a southwesterny print I really like.

Got to coworking space, managed to get my health insurance application done. Then I sat around and talked to people for 5 hours. Yes. Really. I talked to actual humans for that long.

Was about to take a selfie when I realized my hair is really bad today. I look like 5 miles of bad road. I have a pinterest board of before and after photos of fit transformations.... I simultaneously crave a workout bootcamp and can't pull my **** together enough to make it to one.

The hair color is turning out pretty good though. Looking forward to my haircut Friday morning! I think I matched my roots so I no longer have 3 strips of color... blonde on bottom, red in the middle and brown at the roots. I just kin of have some mousy brown and then some spot s in the back that need to grow out that don't take color right.

Must power through opening my mail so I can head home tonight and nair/mani/pedi myself before hair appointment in th morning. Tonight I de-beast!

---

B: Lean cuisine spaghetti, 2 pieces cheese, 6 vegetarian meatballs.

L: Chicken avocado burrito, vitamin water

S: chips, salsa, more water with some stevia fruit punch

S: Lenny and Larry's chocolate chip cookie

D: Macaroni and cheese, 2 cups of carrot juice

--- 

4.30pm. Health insurance application submitted. Personal project plan updated. Now going through receipts

 

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/14/2017:
You are past the halfway mark,,,,that must make you sooooo Happy!!!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/14/2017:
yeah, i was reading a president was from there :-) what a cool town!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/14/2017:
Are you sure the outfit REALLY looks this bad? For some reason, I think you might be being VERY hard on yourself??? I do know what you mean by unflattering dress sleeves – this happens to me often because I lift weights and if the sleeve is a “cap” style it tends to just make my arm look fat and not muscular. It’s a bad look, any kind of really short sleeve but a sleeve looks bad on me. I personally do NOT love Marshalls because it’s hard to find something bc you have to seriously peel thru layers and racks of clothes but what is that store that I love!?....i forgot the name…let me think…

OH YES…TJ Maxx! Love this store! The one by me is EXCELLENT with better than average selection bc I live near a lot of Asian people and they like to shop brand names and replicas / knock-offs of more expensive items so this store REALLY, REALLY, caters to the Asian population rather than the typical Hispanic/black/white populations who I do not think care as much about getting name brand knockoffs like Asians do! Just my opinion on what I see.

Yeah, I’ve heard of the Lucky brand – must be a decent and nice top! !! I have found the best place for ME to buy bras is online on AMAZON! So cheap for well-made brands! I bought a package of 2 bras, forgetting the brand without checking – maybe I’ll check my Amazon orders later if you wanna know – but TWO bras for a TOTAL price of only $25! Together!!

Yeah, it’s great when you dye your hair back and it all matches! That’s also why I got rid of the blonde – it’s not worth it to me to have a nice blonde look for such a short time, then roots, and then finally the feeling that I need a haircut and decisions to dye it again blonde….it was too much time and money wasted. So now I just keep my hair natural as it’s WAYYYY more convenient as a busy, working woman. What a waste to sit in a salon all day – seriously like FOUR hours – when I could even be relaxing back at home! In my family, we usually opt for convenience not being high fashion models that spend hours in a salon!

Once in awhile, I also like to “de-beast!” as you put it hahaha…. It feels good when nails are done (assuming the polish actually stays on and doesn’t chip right away!) and it feels good to feel extra pretty. Yeah. I didn’t even get nails done when my grandmother died for the funeral as it’s just a waste of time and money and it’s not fun for me to sit and make appointments to do these things! I prefer low maintenance – I am definitely NOT a high fashion woman! Not at all! But I know it feels good every so often to do these nice things for ourselves. I think I’ll get a massage next weekend or very soon after that!!

Stevia fruit punch sounds GREAT!!!! way to go on using less sugar! The avocado burrito sounds really good too! Avocado is so healthy. I love it also, but not always, I go in phases with that veggie – sometimes I love it and sometimes I can go without. And it’s much more health (I think!) than guacamole right? I think having avocado is better than guac – I gotta research this!

Good job getting your health insurance application done! Way to go, Happy!



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 12, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Will write about it later but a guy hit me with a pole in Home Depot last night and I am hurt and really angry.

So angry. So very angry. And my COBRA isn't working and their team is not available today.

And my neck hurts. And my foot is bruised so no workout tonight.

http://www.organizeyourselfskinny.com/2017/04/06/manage-stress-anxiety-depression-without-binge-eating-mindless-snacking/

Trying to keep busy and not eat everything in the house. I cleaned the kitchen. Somehow it is 5pm and now it is 5:30 and I have no idea where the day went

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/13/2017:
So i'm at work in NY and all of a sudden i receive a quote from someone in Yorba Linda....I learned of that town thru you!!!!! You wrote about going there and how great it is! And i was thinking of you as soon as I read the address of his business on Savi Ranch Parkway in Yorba Linda!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
LOL. It's Regan country for sure!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
Actually I should say Nixon country...


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/13/2017:
Why in the world did the guy hit you with a pole!? It may be recorded on camera you know! This could be very helpful to you….to get a copy of the recording if it helps you in any way! To sue or something?

Good luck with your insurance and everything..is that what you meant by COBRA, insurance?

I hope you feel better, Happy. So weird that I learned about Yorba Linda thru you and now I’ll always associate my “Happy Lady” friend with Yorba Linda!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
I don't want to sue, I want him to get arrested for leaving the scene of the accident. What a douche.



happy-1 - Monday Jul 10, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Ate my feelings today. Ugh. Probably undid all the good I did myself over the weekend camping and going up and down hills. I got nice texts from Scott this week so I went over there after my camping trip. He went to go see his dad for his birthday, but I wasn't invited. I dunno why, but I felt bad so I bailed and went home, feeling bad. Ate junk food to feel better. got nothing done on my personal site.

B: Made Scott and myself breakfast... 3 eggs, 2 nitrate-free chicken sausages, 2 small oranges.

Left Scott's after not getting invited to his dad's birthday lunch, and felt really bad. Stopped on the way back at a donut shop.

L: Egg and cheese croissant, chocolate donut, coffee, half n half

Went home. Felt overwhelmed. Went and hung out at the coworking space.

D: Double cheese burger. Fries. Diet coke.

Hung at the coworking space. Craved a cookie. Went to 7-11. Got a protein cookie instead. On the road back

S: Lenny and Larrys protein cookie.

9:43pm and I'm still bummed. Did what I always do when I am low... plan my next vacation. Spotted a trip to the river in Parker Arizona for September. It sounds like a lot of fun. 

Then I sucked it up and texted Scott to see if he had a fun day. It's not a big deal or anything, right? We've just gotten started.

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/11/2017:
Don't feel bad about not being invited....hey maybe it's his personal decision he wanted to spend some time just with his father. Eating junk and carbs does affect moods so it's true....when this happens maybe go to the gym to release some endorphins...they reason i go to the gym is that i actually makes me feel good...it makes me feel similarly to how i feel (in bliss) after a binge on carbs.

i LOVE those Lenny and Larrys protein cookies - and i used to eat them every night after the gym when i'd go! haha.

arizona...must be beautiful traveling around there! nice weather!

and since you just got started with scott, don't feel bad that it was only him at his father's bday lunch...it's a family thing....don't take it personally at all!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
Yeah... it was just weird... I drove 3 hours to see him and had to turn around in the morning at 10 am to go back home ... 3 hours. I got a little too upset though. Counselor says i am having trauma reactions to things.



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 05, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Yay! 2.2 lbs down!!! I felt thinner for sure this week, but needed my scale at home to confirm it.

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Avoiding talking to my mom. Just don't want her disrupting my productivity with more unnecessary drama. I feel like a jerk for not giving her the opening to talk to me... but kind of necessary. As it is I had to leave this morning without a shower, then go to Marshalls and get a shirt appropriate for the coworking space (lucked out with a really awesome blouse from Lucky Brand that looks great tucked into jeans and is go anywhere appropriate), then finish getting dressed at the coworking space.

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Decided to just rip off the bandaid and make my new portfolio site live even though it isn't finished... so I have to finish it!!! So far at least I have added the new headshot, 

 

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B: 2 figs, trail mix while on phone w edd

S: Diet coke, hash brown, egg mc muffin after picking dad up from mechanic

L: Small lasagna and diet orange soda

S: Iced tea and personal pan pizza (stress eating after therapist call)... Then I topped it off with a brownie. Suicide by junk food.

D:

S:

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2017:
YAY Go you...i responded to your other entries also!


jabockov on 07/05/2017:
So happy for you!



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