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BearCountryGG 5:31A
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happy-1 12:55A
Maria7 11:56A
InnerPeace 9:51A
Jayhawkjen 12/11
Donkey 12/10
xanthe 11/28
jazzstorie 11/27
legcramps 11/27
Cybermom4 10/31
Puddles 10/25
jabockov 10/06
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tgshare 8/16
mylilsista 8/10
thinnside40 7/21
No_Tomorrow 6/15
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OhioRaven 4/27
grannyannie 4/19
greengirl 4/02
museumgirl 3/24
hollybelle 3/08
Inarut 3/04

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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Friday Jul 14, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Got a haircut today. I quite like it. Moreofthefriedpart gone. He also recommended dying it a couple shades darker so that the color grabs more evenly. I quite like it.

Went. To dinner with my parents and itwas rough. Mydad was determined to be helpful and hit every single one of my vulnerable spots. I was supposed to do stuff tonight butwas so worn out I am home and going to bed at 8.the only thing I want to so is go to bed early and pass out and have it be a better day tomorrow.

I think I really want a 24hourfitness membership again. Something to do to burn off. The pain and anguish of dealing with my dad.

This is a cool article on a guy that took a selfie every mile of the PCT. The time lapse video is awesome. http://amp.travelandleisure.com/articles/andy-davidhazy-selfie-hiker-interview-packing-list

Hopefully signing up for the Wilderness Travel Course tonight

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/15/2017:
Unfortunately so much of our lives can be taken up by allowing others to put us down....when what your dad is really doing is either covering up for his own disappointment in himself or he just has a very bad habit of being negative. Please don't rent him space in your head and let him affect how well you are really doing. I'm almost 68 years old and in those years I have experienced a lot of things, wife, mother of 2, grandmother of 2, great grandmother of 2 and foster mother to 8 babies from abuse and neglect circumstances and in that time I have come to understand that when people treat you badly it says a lot more about them then it says about you....so please don't let his opinion stop you from accomplishing what you want. His bad manners are his problem.......you are doing great.

happy-1 on 07/17/2017:
Hugs... I try not to but whether I live here or not, my dad is the voice in my head that tears me down and I just need to tell it to shut up.



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 13, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Weigh in: 244.6

Yesterday I rage-cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, then separated out each of my repair projects into a separate bin. This morning I rage-cleaned the patio. Then I showered, got carefully dressed to look good (I hate being in public in a bad outfit)

How is it that an outfit I put together a couple of months ago as awesome looks terrible when I pull it out again later? Put on a classic black pencil skirt, taupe top, and put my hair up in a french roll... Then was horrified by the effect when I saw myself in the Post office reflection. Stopped at Marshalls to see if I could find some pants (weird tan lines and sun rash + forgot to shave my legs + just wobbly) but discovered I need to toss the shirt too... The way the arm holes dip is supremely unflattering. I think it might be a size too big now. I also need a new bra stat... 

At least I found pants I really like and a Lucky Brand top at Marshalls on clearance. The pants are kind of like palazzo pants but they are a putty linen-blend like khakis and long enough to cover my ankles (and all the mosquito bites). The top is a long sleeved jersey tunic in red and blue in a southwesterny print I really like.

Got to coworking space, managed to get my health insurance application done. Then I sat around and talked to people for 5 hours. Yes. Really. I talked to actual humans for that long.

Was about to take a selfie when I realized my hair is really bad today. I look like 5 miles of bad road. I have a pinterest board of before and after photos of fit transformations.... I simultaneously crave a workout bootcamp and can't pull my **** together enough to make it to one.

The hair color is turning out pretty good though. Looking forward to my haircut Friday morning! I think I matched my roots so I no longer have 3 strips of color... blonde on bottom, red in the middle and brown at the roots. I just kin of have some mousy brown and then some spot s in the back that need to grow out that don't take color right.

Must power through opening my mail so I can head home tonight and nair/mani/pedi myself before hair appointment in th morning. Tonight I de-beast!

---

B: Lean cuisine spaghetti, 2 pieces cheese, 6 vegetarian meatballs.

L: Chicken avocado burrito, vitamin water

S: chips, salsa, more water with some stevia fruit punch

S: Lenny and Larry's chocolate chip cookie

D: Macaroni and cheese, 2 cups of carrot juice

--- 

4.30pm. Health insurance application submitted. Personal project plan updated. Now going through receipts

 

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/14/2017:
You are past the halfway mark,,,,that must make you sooooo Happy!!!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/14/2017:
yeah, i was reading a president was from there :-) what a cool town!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/14/2017:
Are you sure the outfit REALLY looks this bad? For some reason, I think you might be being VERY hard on yourself??? I do know what you mean by unflattering dress sleeves – this happens to me often because I lift weights and if the sleeve is a “cap” style it tends to just make my arm look fat and not muscular. It’s a bad look, any kind of really short sleeve but a sleeve looks bad on me. I personally do NOT love Marshalls because it’s hard to find something bc you have to seriously peel thru layers and racks of clothes but what is that store that I love!?....i forgot the name…let me think…

OH YES…TJ Maxx! Love this store! The one by me is EXCELLENT with better than average selection bc I live near a lot of Asian people and they like to shop brand names and replicas / knock-offs of more expensive items so this store REALLY, REALLY, caters to the Asian population rather than the typical Hispanic/black/white populations who I do not think care as much about getting name brand knockoffs like Asians do! Just my opinion on what I see.

Yeah, I’ve heard of the Lucky brand – must be a decent and nice top! !! I have found the best place for ME to buy bras is online on AMAZON! So cheap for well-made brands! I bought a package of 2 bras, forgetting the brand without checking – maybe I’ll check my Amazon orders later if you wanna know – but TWO bras for a TOTAL price of only $25! Together!!

Yeah, it’s great when you dye your hair back and it all matches! That’s also why I got rid of the blonde – it’s not worth it to me to have a nice blonde look for such a short time, then roots, and then finally the feeling that I need a haircut and decisions to dye it again blonde….it was too much time and money wasted. So now I just keep my hair natural as it’s WAYYYY more convenient as a busy, working woman. What a waste to sit in a salon all day – seriously like FOUR hours – when I could even be relaxing back at home! In my family, we usually opt for convenience not being high fashion models that spend hours in a salon!

Once in awhile, I also like to “de-beast!” as you put it hahaha…. It feels good when nails are done (assuming the polish actually stays on and doesn’t chip right away!) and it feels good to feel extra pretty. Yeah. I didn’t even get nails done when my grandmother died for the funeral as it’s just a waste of time and money and it’s not fun for me to sit and make appointments to do these things! I prefer low maintenance – I am definitely NOT a high fashion woman! Not at all! But I know it feels good every so often to do these nice things for ourselves. I think I’ll get a massage next weekend or very soon after that!!

Stevia fruit punch sounds GREAT!!!! way to go on using less sugar! The avocado burrito sounds really good too! Avocado is so healthy. I love it also, but not always, I go in phases with that veggie – sometimes I love it and sometimes I can go without. And it’s much more health (I think!) than guacamole right? I think having avocado is better than guac – I gotta research this!

Good job getting your health insurance application done! Way to go, Happy!



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 12, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Will write about it later but a guy hit me with a pole in Home Depot last night and I am hurt and really angry.

So angry. So very angry. And my COBRA isn't working and their team is not available today.

And my neck hurts. And my foot is bruised so no workout tonight.

http://www.organizeyourselfskinny.com/2017/04/06/manage-stress-anxiety-depression-without-binge-eating-mindless-snacking/

Trying to keep busy and not eat everything in the house. I cleaned the kitchen. Somehow it is 5pm and now it is 5:30 and I have no idea where the day went

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/13/2017:
So i'm at work in NY and all of a sudden i receive a quote from someone in Yorba Linda....I learned of that town thru you!!!!! You wrote about going there and how great it is! And i was thinking of you as soon as I read the address of his business on Savi Ranch Parkway in Yorba Linda!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
LOL. It's Regan country for sure!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
Actually I should say Nixon country...


Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/13/2017:
Why in the world did the guy hit you with a pole!? It may be recorded on camera you know! This could be very helpful to you….to get a copy of the recording if it helps you in any way! To sue or something?

Good luck with your insurance and everything..is that what you meant by COBRA, insurance?

I hope you feel better, Happy. So weird that I learned about Yorba Linda thru you and now I’ll always associate my “Happy Lady” friend with Yorba Linda!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
I don't want to sue, I want him to get arrested for leaving the scene of the accident. What a douche.



happy-1 - Monday Jul 10, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Ate my feelings today. Ugh. Probably undid all the good I did myself over the weekend camping and going up and down hills. I got nice texts from Scott this week so I went over there after my camping trip. He went to go see his dad for his birthday, but I wasn't invited. I dunno why, but I felt bad so I bailed and went home, feeling bad. Ate junk food to feel better. got nothing done on my personal site.

B: Made Scott and myself breakfast... 3 eggs, 2 nitrate-free chicken sausages, 2 small oranges.

Left Scott's after not getting invited to his dad's birthday lunch, and felt really bad. Stopped on the way back at a donut shop.

L: Egg and cheese croissant, chocolate donut, coffee, half n half

Went home. Felt overwhelmed. Went and hung out at the coworking space.

D: Double cheese burger. Fries. Diet coke.

Hung at the coworking space. Craved a cookie. Went to 7-11. Got a protein cookie instead. On the road back

S: Lenny and Larrys protein cookie.

9:43pm and I'm still bummed. Did what I always do when I am low... plan my next vacation. Spotted a trip to the river in Parker Arizona for September. It sounds like a lot of fun. 

Then I sucked it up and texted Scott to see if he had a fun day. It's not a big deal or anything, right? We've just gotten started.

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/11/2017:
Don't feel bad about not being invited....hey maybe it's his personal decision he wanted to spend some time just with his father. Eating junk and carbs does affect moods so it's true....when this happens maybe go to the gym to release some endorphins...they reason i go to the gym is that i actually makes me feel good...it makes me feel similarly to how i feel (in bliss) after a binge on carbs.

i LOVE those Lenny and Larrys protein cookies - and i used to eat them every night after the gym when i'd go! haha.

arizona...must be beautiful traveling around there! nice weather!

and since you just got started with scott, don't feel bad that it was only him at his father's bday lunch...it's a family thing....don't take it personally at all!

happy-1 on 07/13/2017:
Yeah... it was just weird... I drove 3 hours to see him and had to turn around in the morning at 10 am to go back home ... 3 hours. I got a little too upset though. Counselor says i am having trauma reactions to things.



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 05, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 241.6

Yay! 2.2 lbs down!!! I felt thinner for sure this week, but needed my scale at home to confirm it.

---

Avoiding talking to my mom. Just don't want her disrupting my productivity with more unnecessary drama. I feel like a jerk for not giving her the opening to talk to me... but kind of necessary. As it is I had to leave this morning without a shower, then go to Marshalls and get a shirt appropriate for the coworking space (lucked out with a really awesome blouse from Lucky Brand that looks great tucked into jeans and is go anywhere appropriate), then finish getting dressed at the coworking space.

---

Decided to just rip off the bandaid and make my new portfolio site live even though it isn't finished... so I have to finish it!!! So far at least I have added the new headshot, 

 

---

B: 2 figs, trail mix while on phone w edd

S: Diet coke, hash brown, egg mc muffin after picking dad up from mechanic

L: Small lasagna and diet orange soda

S: Iced tea and personal pan pizza (stress eating after therapist call)... Then I topped it off with a brownie. Suicide by junk food.

D:

S:

Progress as of today: 66.4 lbs lost so far, only 61.6 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2017:
YAY Go you...i responded to your other entries also!


jabockov on 07/05/2017:
So happy for you!



happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 04, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 243.8

Happy july 4! Where we celebrate by scaring all the pets. Mine is lodged in my armpit like a 50lb growth despite sedation.

Looking forward to weighing myself and dying my hair tomorrow. Today was such a nightmare. My mom asked me themost f'd up question when I got home from dogsitting. I spent most of the day reeling and getting nothing done.

Progress as of today: 64.2 lbs lost so far, only 63.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2017:
Happy 4th to you too, Happy!

Awww, that’s what I heard on tv and radio – pets are always scared each year on the 4th of July! I am so glad I have new windows this year! Fireworks were much less noisy this year and I slept thru most of them!

Are you dying it a natural color or something more creative? I’d love to see photos of before & after. I posted some photos on my July 4th entry!

happy-1 on 07/05/2017:
I'm red rightr now, but I'm going blonde to hide a patch that won't take color. When it grows out I'll start doing dark blonde :)

I dunno on photos... maybe when I reach my goal weight. I like the anonymity of this site :)



happy-1 - Monday Jul 03, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 243.8

Brain is finally back together after a couple of days dog sitting with Molly. We are just chilling. Over the weekend we watched TV. Today we are just sitting around working on our respective stuff. 

Today I checked email, took care of 2 important business items, and emailed a friend about the Tahoe. Spent a crazy long time writing the Tahoe email. Focus is what it is I guess.

Progress as of today: 64.2 lbs lost so far, only 63.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/05/2017:
Nice to hear you are happy! Sounds this way…Glad you are enjoying Brian’s company!

happy-1 on 07/05/2017:
LOL. Brain, not Brian.. but from your lips to God's ears!



happy-1 - Thursday Jun 29, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 243.8

Yay me, got my EDD paperwork in and started process for a certification training credit despite parental drama when I stopped off at home for lunch. Was super hungry and hoping to eat lunch at home before heading to coworking space. Asking my dad for a break didn't work today... He just got madder. I can't believe this is all due to a stupid dog gate that was in his doorway for less than 5 minutes... and that he had already said yes to!!!! I didn't even say anything rude and have been super nice if a little sad. He just gets honey badger mad and turns purple and sweaty and there's so much of him it dwarfs everything else and takes up all the air in the house. I literally had to bail out and put my shoes on in the car and buy food on the way to my coworking space...

... Where I got a lot done.

---- Total gear change.

Got a text from the supermodel hot guy I picked up in Walmart checkout the other day, despite the fact that I was buying 5 boxes of yeast infection creme (Coupon + sale... just stocking up for the zombie apocalypse. I'm fine). It was a bizarre parallel universe. He wants me to go to Burning Man with him, he'll pay for everything AND drive. Oh wow. What an offer. No desire to go to Burning Man but it was nice to be asked.

Progress as of today: 64.2 lbs lost so far, only 63.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/30/2017:
Hola Happy Lady!

Well…you turned lemons into lemonade: Glad you got a lot of work done at co-working space! Cheers Happy Lady!!!! Cheers to being able to find a (hopefully) quiet place go and be productive!

OMG….I KNOW of burning man! How far are you from it? Driving distance right??? I think BM sounds so cool….you know everyone parties naked right!?

happy-1 on 06/30/2017:
I went to art school and live in LA. Partying naked is a little run of the mill. Plus we have all the gearing up events and decompression events here, so I've seen the folks and the music and the art. I think if you like clubbing, music, dancing, and being around a lot of people Burning Man is probably an awesome experience. People go from all over the country. There are probably groups near you that go if you are interested. I think people go as part of a larger camp and it helps make it more fun but also it makes it easier to go to share gear and workloads.

It isn't something you just go do though... People spend all year getting ready for the trip. That he doesn't know how much work it is and thinks it's something we could just go do NEXT MONTH... Oh geez. He might be super hot but he has no idea what he is doing.

I've never really wanted to go because I don't like bars/clubs and meeting new people stresses me out. I go desert camping, but for me it is about being outside where there AREN'T any people. Plus so many people go with no idea what they are doing, if an earthquake hits that's the last place I want to be.

I am so looking forward to the Land Ops off-roading group though. That sounds like my kind of party. Need to find the next HAM licensing test and study for it so I can go!


Donkey on 07/02/2017:
LOL - 5 boxes of yeast infection cream. How come I always run into people I haven't seen in a while when I'm buying tampons, right?

happy-1 on 07/02/2017:
Right??? Although if you are still using those you should try the Diva cup. 1 billion times better and so much easier.


jayhawkjen on 07/04/2017:
True confession: I always buy feminine products on line because I'm embarrassed to check out with them. AND IM A NURSE! My daughters make fun of me and rightly so.



happy-1 - Tuesday Jun 27, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 243.8

Dog gates came today... they worked great except for one thing... While my mom is able to use and operate them my dad cannot fit through them. These are not small openings.... only 4" smaller than the doorway.. He's just gotten so much fatter post-medical weight loss diet that he is too fat to get through the gate and now that I am looking is almost too fat to fit through the door. He's not that far off from not being able to get in and out of his bedroom. As it is he has gotten too fat to fit in his 1/2 bathroom anymore and can only use the whole bathroom, and now I'm thinking that his use of the facilities in there are why the seal I put on the toilet is coming loose again.

However, when he couldn't get out, he got really mad... like crazy, dark red, sweaty, shaking, eyes glazed over mad. He got really, really nasty. Just turned into the biggest bully and yelled and yelled and yelled, making demand after demand. How dare I not think or talk to him first about it??? I never think. I never bother to consult anybody else about it. All I do is push people around. Except that I did.. like 4x and he's been bugging me over when they were going to get here.

My mom, perversely, is thrilled with the dog gate. It is probably an added benefit that my dad can't get through... she's piled up so much stuff in her room to keep other people out, i am pretty sure this is the crowning touch.

I bet my dad is extra furious because now he can't get in there.

Not really sure what to do about it. I have to keep my dog out of my mom's room... that's how she sliced her toe open and my mom's rages get physical.

Ended up just having to bail out and go to Trader Joe's outside the house to get food. Didn't get to eat today till 1:40pm so I feel all sweaty and wonky and that tells me I need to monitor blood sugar in the afternoons too. I've been ok, but the spaciness is scary. It could be the Adhd meds also.. but still.

7am: alarm went off and I woke up. I took adhd meds but was too tired to stay awake and the meds just nailed me. Slept solid.

10am: Fedex delivered dog gates. All hell broke loose.

12:30 went to trader joes

2:15pm: lunch eaten, at workspace. Need to start being productive.

Chicken and kale salad, carrot juice

2:50- back at workspace. Ran over to cvs and grabbed some stuff for my nexk which siezed up again. Seriously tempted by the nail shop there... a wax and a mani pedi are sooo tempting. But I am probably better off buying my own hard wax setup.

Progress as of today: 64.2 lbs lost so far, only 63.8 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 06/28/2017:
What a nightmare! Glad you are able to get away from the drama for a bit alas just to go back. Hope your neck gets better.

happy-1 on 06/29/2017:
Hugs. Thanks!


Horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2017:
i forgot to comment on this...will do tomorrow at work!



happy-1 - Monday Jun 26, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 243.8

So PMS my brain is floating.

Woke: 9:30am. Weirdest dream about leaving my suitcase in the hallway of a hotel and everything stolen out of it but the suitcase was still there.

Breakfast: Couldn't make a decent cu of coffee. Kitchen is filthy. Just ate pocky stick candy, straightened up stuff in living room and bailed. 

12:30 - Shrink is back from vacation. Had a nice call with her about Scott (probably hopeless incompatibility at the values level) and whether or not I should buy an acquaintance's 99 Chevy Tahoe (yes, probably).

Lunch: Grilled chicken sandwich on 1/2  a bun, sweet potato fries, diet coke.

3pm - At coworking space with printer setup. 

 

Progress as of today: 64.2 lbs lost so far, only 63.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/27/2017:
Oh yeah…when I’m PMS-ing….i get off the wall myself. Very irritable and easily argumentative and easily annoyed is what happens to me…extremely emotional…lol…your “floating” sounds better than my irritable!

I’m glad your dream was only a dream and not reality!

How much is he selling the Tahoe for? Like a couple grand?

Lunch sounds tasty….i’d buy the diet coke too, to fill my stomach up after all the salt and lack of veggies…I rely on drinks a lot to fill me – lately they do NOT have caffeine. Lately my skin is fantastic, no pimples or acne…for a few days now! amazing feeling to have better skin! I plan to eat a tad better (less caffeine) so that I can try to keep my skin looking glowing and not red and full of pimples!

happy-1 on 06/27/2017:
5k... He wants about 2x what Edmunds has it listed as. Other trucks are similarly marked up... it probably is what it is worth , but I wanted to know how he set the price so I am not taking a big hit if I have to sell it due to an "I can't have 2 cars" parking situation.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2017:
lol....why do you want to have 2 cars??? haha...i would NOT buy his car for double what it's worth, Happy!



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