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innerpeace - Tuesday Oct 17, 2017

Weight: 306.0

DH used the left over London Broil to make a beef and noodle dish. It was just ok, not the yummy, thick, rich dish I'm accustom to.

He was kinda bummed out, still in his pjs when I got home. He didn't have much to say and went ot bed about 7:00.

I thought I heard someone calling my name last night, so I woke up hollering, "I'm right here." This scared my dog and he left me. I woke up again at 5:00 and my dog was back, I hit the snooze button and didn't get up until about 5:50....

B: baked oatmeal

L: peanut butter sandiwhich, yogurt, blueberries, granola, walnuts, apple

S: balanced breaks

D: some form of baked mac and cheese - will see if DH gets around to make it. The girl is supposed to come over tonight.

Kinda stuck with my weight right now, will have to look at things. Not really feeling it but I haven't lost hope and haven't gained, so there's that.

Really need to push myself to start the physical activity back up.

I will get through this.

Have a great day! IP

OH and I received my first postcard - it arrived from Minnesota. Can't wait to get more!

Finished another flash fiction story - I think I've only missed two pictures, because they didn't inspire me to write anything.

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2017:
I'm going to comment on all your entries starting from Wednesday!!!! So make sure to look back, InnerP!

Lol...sorry...the dog and hollering thing made me laugh...i hope you are feeling good now!

i see you are enjoying your baked foods...the baked oatmeal really sounds good. i want to bake some pumpkin cornbread soon...i have a nice recipe at home :-)

so was the postcard any good? is it fun?

i am also low on my exercise now- recovering from the trip bc my legs / ankles are still sore. so i'm not jogging this week.

i've not really heard of flash fiction...need to see about that!


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innerpeace - Monday Oct 16, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Saturday - we took the girl to an Amazon liquidation cell - lots of stationary, stickers, ribbons, bows, school supplies and stuff. It was all 50 cents, and we spent $15.00. When we get home DH and I mow the grass, I keep hoping it will be the last time, but I doubt it, especially if the weather stays nice. When we got hom the YA and his stinky GF was there and they stayed and they stayed. Finally I asked them if they were going to stay for dinner, and I should know the answer to that by now, that's the only time we see them, if they need food and/or are hungry.

I made the Mexican lasagna again, this time I added shredded chicken. It was a bit heartier and good. They left shortly after dinner to go do a job for the YA's part-time employer. Yeah OK whatever - eat and run much? I'm glad they left.

Once they left, I helped the girl with her book report poster. I was just there for suggesting how things looks and where things go. She did the summary and wrote everything up while I was watching football. DH was of course asleep by this time. Thankfully she got that thing done and can turn it in on Wednesday.

Sunday - I was up at 6:00 and made the baked oatmeat, which the girl told me was nasty! Anyway, I took my telemove call, and made the menu for this week. Then I participated in the flash fiction writing and watched the move Freedom Writers and cried my eyes out. DH and the girl went grocery shopping and I stayed and washed laundry - because that IS my favorite thing in the whole wide world - right up there with grocery shopping.

DH made the London Broil and Brussel sprouts, which was all good. I had pictures of all this food, so that is the reason no pictures. Nothing new to see here!.

The weekend gets by faster and faster and I do not feel rested. I really can't say I did much. Still not in a good place.

Here hoping the week is better. Have a good night IP.

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 10/16/2017:
I bet you are so happy that the book report project is done.....I hope she appreciates all you do for her...if not now...then I'm sure she will look back some day and realize how lucky she truly was to have you. I made brussels sprouts here and hubby hated them...I had to eat them for days...LOL


horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2017:
GIRL! The first paragraph reminds me of a Mad Libs because you used the adjective stinky....when you write YA & his "stinky girlfriend" i had a little chuckle out loud at my desk!

I'm eating lasagna tonight, but not too much...i'll have to get some veggies to bring...i have squash at home, so i'll bring that to my friend Ricky's house bc he has the lasagna! I still never get satisfied eating only carbs and no veggies...the portion of lasagna is too small to make me full...need the veggies for volume lol...i cooked a spaghetti squash in the oven yesterday, but didn't flavor it at all...i plan to just eat the lasagna on top of it...

It's good girlie got her report done early...rather than the night before. i was always the worst procrastinator and man is that a bad habit!


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innerpeace - Friday Oct 13, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Been in a bad place lately...the last few days OMG...tears at the drop of a hat.

Wednesday we went to paint pumpkins and I was miserable. We had lettuce wraps for dinner, which DH and I thought were delicious but the girl didn't like them, well she said she didn't like them, she didn't really taste them, she just touched her tongue to it and said yeck. Whatever, tell your mom to take you to McDonald's when you get home. Then I gave her the garden salad I had for lunch (chicken, tomatos, yellow squash, zucchini, a little cheese and balsamic and then she said the squash seeds were disgusting...really? Can you even taste the seeds. This just agravated me, I didn't even want to be around her.

Then I asked her if she finished her book for the book report she has due next week, she says no. Then I tell her to read and she falls asleep reading, but didn't have a problem flipping through facebook on the iPAD. I told her she's not getting the IpAD this weekend, until the book is read, or she could take it all to her mother's house and finish it with her help.. It took me three hours to read the stupid book, she's been trying to read it for a month now. The report is due next Thursday.

I guess I get pissy because DH will be asleep most of the time and I am left to help and entertain and NO, I just don't want to be forced into this situation all the time.

And then my baseball team blew a freaking 2-0 lead.

And OMG I'm just tired of hearing how everything offends everyone these days. Seriously though work offends me, but my @ss is here most every freaking day. People offend me, so much so I can't sleep and then when I do sleep I don't want to wake up and come to craphole hill.

So I left work yesterday about 10:00 (I tried to post before I left and couldn't access it ) I got home and slept for about 3 1/2 hours. DH was at an interview. When I woke up I made a meatless taco lasagna which turned out realy delicious. It was actually just black beans, corn, tomotos, cheese and taco shells layered. It was good.

I did the calories, but let my phone at home - I didn't go over 1400 calories either day. Still need to get more exercise in...my need to go talk to the terapist and start the prozac again if I can't get out of my funk, but then it could be menopause or other crazy stuff.

Hopefully this weekend will help in some ways. IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 10/13/2017:
You care so much about everyone else...you really do need to take care of you too.....Hope you feel better.


Donkey on 10/14/2017:
Could very well be hormonal, but that doesn't mean that it's not serious. I hope you can come out of it on your own, but if not, do what it takes to help.

I'm sorry your Indians are out of the playoffs. I don't much care for the Yankees at all... Personally, I think Houston will win it all.


horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2017:
There was something on the news about picky eaters and a lot of young kids / teens do not like the textures of certain foods.

also, the tv said that if the kid has been grazing all day and isn't hungry, that they have potential to be more picky bc they aren't hungry.

try not to let all the ignoramuses get to you...however you spell it.

also, food looks GREAT!


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innerpeace - Wednesday Oct 11, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Tuesday food...pizza day. I love pizza so much. DH made this with spaghetti sauce, not my favorite, but any pizza is good. Mushrooms, onions, sauce, cheese and arugula. Ended the day with 1328 calories.

worked on the girl's poster for her book report, wrote a flash fiction story and made the salad for lunch today.

B: baked oatmeal bar

S: yogurt, blackberries, granola

L: tomatos, zucchini, yellow squash, corn, smoked chicken with a little parmesean and vingrette. Nice fresh salad wihtout the pasta.

S: balanced breaks

Tonight dinner is supposed to be lettuce wraps....if they turn out.

We also have pumpkin painting at 6:00, hopefully we can get there in time.

Have a great evening! IP

 

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 10/11/2017:
I totally agree...any pizza is good pizza...Looks Great...Have fun paining the pumpkins.


legcramps on 10/11/2017:
Yep I agree too with your pizza quote. If I could I would eat it all the time.


horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2017:
Pumpkin painting sounds GREAT!

also...the pizza on the right is healthier than the pizza on the left haha. lol...just bugging you!


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innerpeace - Tuesday Oct 10, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Monday was a great day. that sounds so funny, but any Monday that you don't have to work is a great day.

I woke up and took my Telemove call. This is at 7:00 every morning and then I finished laundry. After that I sent a few post cards, 2 to Russia and 1 to Belarus and then I spent some time doing my creative writing project. I finished about noon.

B: baked oats

L: left over chicken caprese on a bioche bun

S: granola almond butter cup (these are delicous and very addicting - they have 180-200 calories - depending on flavor)

D: spinach, artichoke and cream cheese stuffed shells with marinara sauce. This turned out pretty good.

Ended the day with 1322. I am ok with this.

DH came home about 1:00 am, I didn't even hear him, that is why I can't figure out why I get so scared when I hear noises. I don't even remember hearing my dog bark.

I sat my alarm to get up at 5:00 to do zumba, I didn't hear my alarm and don't remember turning it off.  I woke up at 6:12 and had to rush around and get showered.

This morning I had my performance review. It was scheduled for next Friday, so I am glad it is over. I guess I can stay employed another year and I get a raise next week so YAY! because our insurance premiums go up too.

So our na'an pizza is scheduled for dinner tonight. I love pizza and glad this is a friendly alternative.

So I was on the scale this morning and I am please to say that it was 306.8...so I will soon change my weight on the top of the entry page. I can do this!

Have a great day!

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/10/2017:
First of all congrats on the weight loss...That is GREAT!!! And YEAH...for getting your performance review out of the way early....no worrying about it now! Your photos are looking more delicious than ever if that is possible.


horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2017:
what a productive day, lady! you should be so proud of yourself!

also, the food looks INCREDIBLE! you are very, VERY good at cooking!!!!!

that's cool with the postcards...do you get nervous to write to Russia!?

innerpeace on 10/11/2017:
Well I haven't. But I was thinking that since that was the third postcard I've sent, I hope the mailman don't turn me in for being suspicious. I just write greetings from Ohio and say what the post card is, nothing cryptic or anything, so I'm cool with it.


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innerpeace - Monday Oct 09, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Sunday DH and I went shopping, which is always a downer. I can't believe we spend so much money on food. You would think that with two refrigerators and a freezer we wouldn't have to go to the store each week. DH says, yeah, but we can never get them filled up. We had a hot dog at Sam's club, which I think made me sick, later in the day. DH grilled chicken and we had chicken caprese for dinner and a salad. Ended the day with 1245 calories

 

I spend the evening making stuff for the week. I made these baked oats, which turned out very tasty, with cranberries, walnuts and dates. About 234 calories a piece. There are 12 in this pan, if I get them cut right. Also watched my Indians lose, but they have another chance tonight! GO TRIBE!!

So Monday, I love not having work today! Finished laundry, wrote some post cards and the flash fiction story. Just relaxing today.

Have a great day!

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/09/2017:
Your food all looks great as usual......I wish I could post pictures from my phone here,,,darn android. Getting new I phones soon...and looking forward to them. Bummer about getting sick from the hot dog...food poisoning is miserable I hear.


horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2017:
i like your baked oats. I had a friend that used to post things like that which she'd make...she'd prepare a lot of breakfast dishes for the week...i have never gotten around to trying someting like baked oats but it seems nice even for a snack :) or late breakfast yeah! with a bunch of coffee...bc i just love caffeine after carbs!

I also loved not having work on Monday...but the weekend was STILL too fast for me...i spent too much of it running around and...oh well!...i'll get my rest day NEXT Monday (taking off). haha.

it's like a chicken pizza! looks good up there....the tomatoes look devine!


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innerpeace - Saturday Oct 07, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Thursday night the girl was over. DH made the skillet lasagna again. We did some math homework and walked the dog.  Ended the night with 1305 calories.

Friday I tried to sleep in but my hip was bothering me. Burning, stinging sensation all down the back of my left leg. Sciatica? who knows. It was nice to stay home from work though. DH and I went to a new store that opened up...Duluth Trading Company, I thought it was similar to Cabela's or Tractor Supply Store but no, they just have rugged clothes that are quiet expensive. We also stopped at Cabela's and DH got a few cooking spices. We also shared a cone of cinnamon coated cashews, which then made my tongue numb.  DH made a wonderful London broil on the grill. It was delicious. That night I couldn't sleep because I slept on and off all day. I was up at 2:30 in the morning making snacks. A cheese puff and a cranberry, walnut scone like cookie that was sweetened with honey. Each thing is about 35-45 calories a piece depending on the size. I finally went to bed about and 4:30.  With the cashews and London Broil and a few of the cheese puffs and scone cookies, I ended the day with 1346 calories.

Saturday after DH got home we went to Brecksville, OH to a Dogtoberfest and let Steve have some fun with other dogs, we also picked up some free food samples and just had fun, it was almost 90 degrees, nice day. We also went shopping for stuff at a close out store. I bought a few more cook books, towels, a new clock and a few stocking stuffers. I had chicken on the menu, howeer, we didn't take it out to thaw, so I made a quiche with a mashed potatoe crust. A little different, but it got the job done. Ate a few more cheese puffs and cookies. We had ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. The YA and his GF came oer and brought the dogs again, OMG they track my laminate floor all up. Ended the day with about 1400 calories. I haven't calculated them up yet.

And my football team lost. So bummed.

Sunday we have plans for a hike, this is pending and we will see what else happens.

All have a great weekend. IP!

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/08/2017:
Yup...that sounds like sciatica........and Duluth trading post is where my husband orders almost all of his clothes...they are expensive but they wear like iron......cabelas is his second choice.....


horn_of_plenty on 10/10/2017:
the London Broil made by your dear hubby looks wonderful as does your quiche with mashed potato crust! i'd enjoy a slice with a huge a$$ salad or some other veggies. YUM - i adore your good eats! Very up my ally!

I see you eat a lot of cheese...maybe try to eat cheese 1x a day? it'll lower your calories if you could pull away from cheese...and if you don't like my comment, no worries...only my suggestion which may or may not be right for you!

I've also been having ongoing thigh / lower back / butt pain been going on like 2 weeks due to hormones but never usually lasts this long...i know it shall go away soon too....now just trying to relax before trip lol....

sorry your team lost...!

i still hope you had a great weekend...

those little treats you cooked in the middle of the night are such low cal...nice little treats! Did you only cook for you, or you made a bunch of those little scone and treats - potato fluff thing?



innerpeace - Thursday Oct 05, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Here are food pictures...am very busy and even may have to stay late.

 

We had cauliflower and chicken Tuesday - it was OK, tasted kind of bland. DH doesn't season meat before he cooks it ine the house, that's like a step he misses, unless he is grilling outside. Ended Tuesday with 1360 calories.

Oh and Wednesday was regrettable.

We had coconut curry chicken, this was a bit spicy, but good. But afterwards DH and I went to Big Lots because they are having a moving sale and everything was 50% off. We picked up some stocking stuffers, never too early to get ready for Christmas. And then we talked each other into getting Frosty from Wendy's. We haven't anything sweet in 34 days, I wonder why we caved last night. And then, it really wasn't even that good.

Ended Wednesday with 1651...of course I'm over! OMG.

Sleeping crappy was awake of and on all night. I will lay off the caffeine drinks after 7:00 or so and see if this helps.

In October I do a flash fiction writing with a group of people, it is supposed to be mostly horror, but my brain doesn't think that way, so between this flash fiction writing and post carding, I have been trying to lessen the growth of grey hair. The moderator will post a picture and people submit their stories inspired by the picture. I like to put my imagine on paper, but sometimes it sounds better in my head and should be left there.

Tonight we have the girl. Will probably work on homework and/or the book report project. We are having skillet lasagna tonight, which we've had before and it is very good with turkey sausage and zucchini.

Tomorrow I took a vacation day and am looking forward to a four day weekend away from here. However, I will have to monitor email and ensure nothing needs to be corrected and/or fixed (new budget stuff) on Friday, which I'm OK with. I'm just so tired or sleepy, I may sleep all day.

So the Indians play tonight...GO TRIBE!!

Have a great night. IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/05/2017:
You sound exhausted, good idea taking a day off for a long weekend. The writing project sounds like fun and I too have no interest in that topic but it might surprise you...maybe you will enjoy doing something very different...as always your pictures are great...I have that pan too...does yours stick...mine does...and it isn't supposed to.


horn_of_plenty on 10/06/2017:
the food, especially the vegetables that i see in the last pics, is getting my mouth watering! I have NEVER cooked anything in a sauce like your tomato sauce dishes at the bottom - really, never. Only bought it already prepared LOL.

The cauliflower also looks great but i didn't see a photo! haha...

don't even worry about the frosty, it happens. and it's funny you don't even need the whole thing, even if you want it, because it all tastes the same as it goes down and then it's gone...i'm learning to enjoy sweets more in moderation because of this....because 50 calories or 500 calories, the taste is the same, just the calories keep adding up.

however with alcohol, i'm develping the taste to enjoy it more...not in abundance, but learning to enjoy it and be able to manage my calories to include it in my diet. it's relaxing :) And after my late dinner last night, the alcohol put me right to bed.

I hope you enjoy your vaca day!



innerpeace - Tuesday Oct 03, 2017

Weight: 306.0

Got home and DH had dinner made with the mini na'an bread. Little pepperoni pizzas. 471 calores. Ended the day a little high with 1511 calories. But pizza...so I'm OK with this.

I have to keep in mind that DH and I would eat an extra large pizza all by ourselves. That would be like 3 or 4 huge slices of pizza. Now I just had 2 mini pizzas (about 3 1/2 in diameter. This itself is a great achievement. And it was satisfying.

After, DH and I went to the craft (Halloween wreath) not really what I expected, but we made it. Got home and walked the dog. DH went to bed and I watched TV.

B: English muffin with pb & J

S: yogurt, black berries, granola

L: left over eggplant parmesan (which was nasty - I lonly ate some of it)

S: dried mango, balanced breaks (and I have a banana left to eat if I get hungry)

D: pan roasted cauliflower with chicken. We've had this before but it will surely taste different if DH is making it. He may or may not read the directions in their entirety.

The girl is supposed to be over tonight and there is another library craft (scarecrow) but I don't think I want to go to this one because I didn't buy any clothes to use and I don't want to go look for something today at the last minute - maybe...i just don't know.

Today's telmove call - fats - I'm learning more about fat than I've ever known...finally know the difference between saturated and unsaturated fats and trans fats...so this is helping.

Just a little move on the scale - anticipating big things later in the week.

Have a great night! IP

 

 

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/03/2017:
Eating less than the old days is a definite win that I understand...saw your halloween wreath...VERY CUTE!


horn_of_plenty on 10/04/2017:
those pizzas look very good....and i can see they would be satisfying. my dinner was actually very similar to yours!

I had an Amy's microwave meal of cheese ravioli with what appeared to be only a smearing of tomato sauce (and tasted terrific!). it was around 450 calories, also satisfying.

i had some strawberries afterwards and was decently satisfied (though it doesn't fill the stomach the same way veggies do, but does satisfy with the heavier ravioli noodle stuff and inside cheese...) once in awhile it's great to eat less volume...i think this is why i didn't weigh tons in the AM on the scale, not filled with a lot of volume in my stomach lol....


horn_of_plenty on 10/04/2017:
great job on the scale moving downward!



innerpeace - Monday Oct 02, 2017

Weight: 306.0

I chose to be a recluse over the weekend. I did not leave my house.

Thursday I received a text from an old friend. i have known him for over 30 years and I met his then wife in 1986 (they divorced in 2001) when we were stationed in Germany. Anyway he texts me and says, just wanted to let you know the kids lost their mother on Monday. This is so sad, she was only 54. I told him I was sorry and hoped he was doing ok. He said he was sad but his kids were devestated. I can only imagine.

DH took the girl to get her eyebrows done again. This time she asked to go and said she did better because she knew what to expect. They do look really good. They ran a few errands.

Sunday, DH and the girl go shopping, I don't think I would have left my house unless there was an emergency.

DH tells me about the shooting in Las Vegas and now I doubt I will ever leave my house again except to go to work. It is just awful living in such fear. I quit watching the news and I had to quit watching Dateline because everything freaks me out.

B: English muffin with peanut butter

L: left over chicken chili, yogurt with blackberries and granola

S: balanced breaks

D: I think it is pizza we didn't eat last night, but we still need to use the bread before it goes bad.

The YA was apparently never hired for his job - the lady says he was just a 'ride along' I don't know what that means, but anyway the YA was supposedly hurt on Thursday -  a twisted knee or something and went to the ER; so the company is not going to pay for this visit. So I can expect a $125 bill in the mail.  I had asked the YA if they took his DL or SSN card and made copies he said NO. OK then you were never hired. Companies need ID to verify you are legally authorized to work in the US. Just suck it up and chalk it up to experience. I told him he needs to go to JVS (the vo-tech) or the Jobcorps and get his education. Because it's evident he DOES NOT know everything. I also told him February will be the last month I pay his insurance and he needs to get hisself situated. Yeah...I haven't heard from him since.

I cannot deal with this right now. I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning, much less get myself to work. I don't necessarily like my job (especailly the last two weeks) but I show up out of necessity. THIS, This is what the YA needs to understand. No one...likes to go to work, but we all need money so we go.

Depress much!! OMG and my entire body hurts.

I did get two post cards mailed off: one to Arizona and one to Russia.

 

Have a great night!! IP

Progress as of today: 15.6 lbs lost so far, only 96 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 10/02/2017:
Life is changing and it seems to be more degraded than ever. I know how you feel about going out in public...I don't like it anymore either. I know that sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better is to find an interest and throw myself into it...just me...not involving anyone else...something I don't have to share or fight for. We also have a kid we give money to every month...he has a genius IQ yet the handling of money totally escapes him...it's always been this way......he can memorize tables of numbers and actually so can our other son...they both have photographic memories....one is fantastic with money...the other can't handle it at all. It is so frustrating for us too....we worked hard and saved hard for what we wanted...as did our parents....and this one son has no clue....but he can answer any question you throw at him...so can the other one. My parents used to say that there are some people who are so smart they are stupid...they actually are brilliant and everyday things escape them..I worked for a brilliant doctor...that everyone just admired so much..when it came to medical issues...yet he left every cabinet door open, they had to actually take his scrubs out of his office or he would wear them dirty..day after day...he cam in wearing high green rubber boots...no socks and in fact I used to babysit for a 2 doctor family and he went to the office day after day with his hair sticking up in the air because he didn't know where his comb went...it never occurred to him to buy another one. His toddlers took their own medicine, straight from the bottle it came in..their babies wore dish towels for diapers...their kids ran the neighborhood in their underwear..I could go and on but I will spare you that...LOL


horn_of_plenty on 10/02/2017:
Hello IP!

This is my 3rd comment to you today….not behaving at work LOL at all!...i am not, I mean!

I know what it’s like to want to be at home…you know, especially if you live in a house (not an apartment) as you do, it can be easy to get held up with things to do….or simply to want to be home. Like you, I enjoy being home and going at my own pace.

I’m glad that DH is taking care of girl in that way for eyebrows….it is important to groom oneself…and it’s good for her esteem. She is young, she can shape herself (she holds the power to make herself the best she can be) so she has the power to turn herself into anything and everything she wants. I mean this physically, mentally, socially. I am happy for girlie with you guys!

I no longer have to do my eyebrows bc they stopped growing in very much…except, I may do them before vegas, maybe….although really they always look good in photos bc I used to pluck them so much that they now retain their shape always.

I am going on Vaca do Las Vegas in nine days! It is so sad but can happen anywhere. Oh…and the news is especially planned to freak people out….that’s why people with anxiety (some) don’t watch the news…I read it somewhere. The news blows everything into fear.


horn_of_plenty on 10/02/2017:
oh i was talking about the thyroid bc you really are active, you eat healthy...i do not see how you couldn't lose weight...i feel something might be in the way. because you do appear to do very well with yourself!



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