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innerpeace - Tuesday Jun 12, 2018

Weight: 315.0

I was finally tracked down by the Telehealth program. I thought it was over. The coordinator told me that it wasn't that they were here for the long hall, until I reach my designated goal, so OMG it will be like starting over from the beginning, I guess now I have to get my ducks in a row, no more clowning around.

I told him I have gained weight and have been stressed because of the inspection and today was so much better now that it is over. DH is great help for the first week or two and then he wants the sweet, unhealthy stuff too. Just this morning he told me we are having steak for dinner with Brussel sprouts and baked beans. I also told him about my hot flashes and he asked if I wanted to come in for blood work. I declined and said I would wait until July (my birth month) and do it then. He agreed to wait.

I also told him about my hot flashes and he thought I was too young for menapause but made note of everything! So I guess I'll get my friendly health call again tomorrow. I just feel so defeated right this minute.

We have the girl tonight and I think I may try to call my mom and see what her plans are now. I think the kids are back with my nephew so she should be ready to come up. I'm afraid to call because I just don't want to deal with their drama too.

Anyway, I will walk tonight with Steve.

Tomorrow we ride!!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/12/2018:
Ha ha ha... you thought you could get away but you can't!!!

horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2018:
but if you don't like telehealth, don't continue it!

Donkey on 06/12/2018:
IDK if Telehealth wasn't working for you, can't you just say, No thanks?

innerpeace on 06/14/2018:
Probably. It will help me, I just didn't like entering my weight each and every day. I feel pressured to always enter a lower weight and that stresses me out.

After thinking about it, it is a great tool and I just need to work the program and make some kind of real effort to actually manage and/or lose weight.

bearcountrygg on 06/13/2018:
My guess is that it is part of your healthcare? Can you opt out of that? We have Humana...and they want to come to the house...they want something of us every time we turn around...I need a file cabinet just for Human...because they send so much junk.....we ignore them...LOL

innerpeace on 06/14/2018:
It is a program ran by the VA Hospital. I tried to do in-house meetings similar to WW, however all the members are older, male veterans who I had absolutely nothing in common with and didn't find much help or support attending these meetings. The other option was the call everyday. Which is like big brother and you are supposed to weigh everyday and record your weight. And you get a helpful tip and encouragement.

It is actually a good thing, I just feel pressured to continuously report a lower number ergo...stress. However, this may be what I need to actually make some sort of progress....because it's obvious...I'm not.

innerpeace - Monday Jun 11, 2018

Weight: 315.0

The weekend came and went to no big accomplishments...

Saturday, I took the girl's clarinet to be repaired. Will cost about $275...ouch. Was not expecting that, but the repair shop said we could pay for it over the summer, and they probably won't have it repaired until just before school starts because they were THAT busy.

Made meat loaf for dinner with mash potatoes and green beans. I also had some mini peppers to use and stuffed those with cream cheese and bacon. I don't like peppers so DH ate them and took them again for lunch.

Sunday I cleaned bathrooms and washed bath mats and curtains, and laundry and dusted and vacuumed, oh and I did go shopping at Walmart for a minute, just to buy the essentials, milk, bread, Diet Dr. Pepper, the rain kept me in most of the weekend.

So this morning, getting dressed I tore up one of my bras. This disgusts me. I like the bras tight and snug to revent flopping, however, I guess this one bra said...no more and the plastic part of the strap just flew apart, across the room. as detached from the band. Not a happy camper.

So then DH made breakfast, eggs, turkey sausage and toast. He says, I tried to make the eggs over easy. I just lost it, do you always have to point out what you didn't do right? Whay can't you just say I made breakfast? I wouldn't have said anything but thank you!

Stupid inspectors are here, they went to lunch. I swear they look to be 16 years old, so very young. They did the walk through this morning and will be back any minute for all the documentation stuff, which I have to be there for. So I will leave this here....


I wish I was a bull head or stubborn and just do stuff because someone tells me I can't. Or do stuff just to piss people off, I think I would get a lot more accomplished.

I have to do credit card statements for the work people. They statements come in the mail, I pass them out, they should be signed and returned. Why is it that, that one person just cannot do it? I purposely put the envelop in the computer keyboard, where it is standing upright and needs to be removed before they can even type, however this one person just moves it to the side and forgets about it until....I come in and look for it.


Inspection is over, we received a few best practice deficiencies, which we will have to correct, but no major ones. These young girls were very smart and full of knowledge.


DH made me some frames for a girafe picture, I will post at another time.

Have a great night! IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
I feel like it might be time for her to learn to repaiir her own clarinet. I learned how to repair mine!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Sounds like you did some good self care this weekend... healthy meals, putting things in order, etc.

I wish someone would make me breakfast!

bearcountrygg on 06/11/2018:
I'm with hap......I'd like someone to make me breakfast too.....and so happy that your inspection is over...I'm sure you are relieved.

horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2018:
$275! that's almost the price of a new clarinet! what the!?

i love those mini peppers, got a bag for 1.50 on sale!

good idea with the credit card statements to put them right in the keyboard!

innerpeace - Friday Jun 08, 2018

Weight: 315.0

The girl was over and she was sad that it was her last day of school. She said she didn't want to be at her mom's house all day because she feels trapped and crowded, she made me feel sad for her. She also said that her step-dad's step-grand kids were staying with them for about two weeks and she was moved out of her room to a basement couch. I told her to tell her mother, that she understands that the two need to be there for a few days but she would rather stay at her dad's while they are there so she will have a decent bed to sleep in. It sounded good from my side, but then again, she really can't talk to her mother that is why she wanted to go see the counselor again. Too young for so much drama.

On the way to work I was amazed at all the roads and all the people on the roads and just wondered again, why on earth are we here? What is our purpose? How can "God" be so egotistcal to have billions of people he made just to be here to serve him? I get in these funks some times and just wonder about things. Why other people seem to have life so much easier than me and/or my family. Why some people can just learn something quickly while others struggle? Living and breathing is amazing and I wholeheartedly thank whomever and whereever this came from, but damn...sometimes it ain't fun! DH made a comment that one of his co-workers is always preaching to him about God's grace. DH tells him he is saved and babtized and really doesn't want to discuss his beliefs with him at work, until God can provide for his family, whithout him having to get up everyday and sweat his @ss off in the factory, but thank God he can do that...instead of finding away around it and get someone else to do it for you!! OK enough of that....

In my next life I'm going to be independently weathly, thin and love whatever it is I get up everyday to do!

DH grilled chicken and I made brussel sprounds and a rice pilaf that was disgusting...I read and followed the instructions but I should know by now that the wild rice crap does not get soft...ever!

Tonight I was going to make chicken nachos with the left over chicken and I have tomatos and avocado that I need to use before they go bad.

Anyway, I will have lots of time over the weekend, I may find my way to the computer to post again. I just hope my attitude gets better by then...oh wait, I have the inspection on Monday, so maybe not!

Have a great weekend! GO CAVS!!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/08/2018:
Hugs! Keep fighting! Good that the girl feels she can talk to you!

bearcountrygg on 06/08/2018:
It sounds like the girl really needs and appreciates you in her life......and she is lucky to have you. Any hot flashes yet?????? That's fun!

Donkey on 06/08/2018:
I hope you do post over the weekend. I really enjoy your posts, even if I don't have any insights to add in the comments section.

That's nice that you can be there for your girl. I'm not sure you feel the same way about it, but it really is a good thing that she has you in her life.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/09/2018:
I hear you mama! like BCGG says, KEEP FIGHTIN'!

you must be pretty darn special - to be loved by this girl!

don't worry the funk doesn't stay forever...

be happy about all your did regarding the inspection...how people need you and look to you to get things done. you gotta feel good about that...knowing you do make a difference for many people in your family and at work and in life!

innerpeace - Thursday Jun 07, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Not a lot to write, since I'm not currently working on a specific goal and/or plan.

We have the girl tonight and DH works all weekend, so my plan is to get some cleaning done. I think my mother may be up in a week or so as my nephew's wife posted pictures that they were all together again. They looked like a happy family and now my mom should be free to come up and visit.

Good thing too, because with those kids and my sister being with her they have used all of my data downloading games and crap on her phone. My mother doesn't have access to wifi and they ate up all my monthly data and now my phone is slow as a snail if not on a wifi network. AND I even asked them to stop or I was changing the password....I haven't yet, but I still might. GRR

DH called and just told me he picked up pastry while he was getting his hair cut...I will eat the pastry.

I will have a plan!

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/07/2018:
It's good to hear that the kids are back with their parents...your mom needs that.

horn_of_plenty on 06/07/2018:
lol might as well change the password if you don't want them using things...that would be the easiest way.

happy-1 on 06/07/2018:
Change the password. They need to function in the real world

bearcountrygg on 06/08/2018:
Protect your password......always.

innerpeace - Wednesday Jun 06, 2018

Weight: 315.0

PEOPLE!! Inspection is next Monday I will be glad when Monday gets here and goes away! The main people who should be working on the inspection are conveniently gone and I can not believe their supervisor let them go!

After this inspection I will have no other excuse not to do anything, so I must hold myself accountable to actually do something. We have the girl the week after so I will have to take a few days of vacation while DH goes to work.

I am in a rut and feel I need to do something different with my life. I even thought of starting graduate school, but I don't even know what the hell it is I want to do.

Sometimes, I just don't think life needs to be this hard for me.

Last night I made grilled chicken with brocolli and noodles with afredo sauce and that is what I am having for lunch as well.

DH said something about pork chops tonight, but it's his night to cook, so he can figure this out.

I will try to go and find myself! Have a great day IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/06/2018:
Hopefully after Monday you will ne happier.

horn_of_plenty on 06/07/2018:
Seems you are taking the inspection more seriously than them. just remember that it cannot all rest on your shoulders. i honestly feel good about this upcoming inspection hearing all you are doing to plan for it...seems although you want everything done and complete now, it does sound like things are moving forward :)

Donkey on 06/07/2018:
I get that "itch" to do something more with my life from time to time, too - that feeling of wanting a positive change, want to work on something, build something of one's own. It can be hard to figure it out. (This is how I arrived to owning 4 cats at one point in my adult life...)

Maybe find a new volunteering opportunity as a start?

happy-1 on 06/08/2018:
What about going for walks with the girl as an activity? Get both of you out and moving. Have you ever heard of geocacheing? You look for "treasure" other people have hidden and use an app to find it. You can also hide your own treasures. Turns a walk into a game.


Or sign up for Rover or Wag and get paid to go on a dog walk.

innerpeace - Monday Jun 04, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Sunday - DH brought Jersey Mike subs home after getting the girl's eyebrows threaded. Wasn't expecting this for lunch and dinner. The YA and his GF came over, luckily DH bought extra so they could eat as well. I think they come over around meal time because they are hungry and/or need to eat. This is OK I don't mind feeding them, that's what parents are for.

The girl left at 6:00 and I came down with the worst case of heartburn and/or indigestion I've had in forever. I swigged on Pepto and ate Tums, it finally went away after awhile or so  I thought. I was back up at 3:30 and sat in the recliner until about 5:00, I was up at 5:45 so not much sleep last night.

Monday I was ok with toast for breakfast, however, I am not feeling well right this minute sitting at my desk. I had PB&J for lunch and a handful of sour cream and onion chips. Maybe from the soda, I don't know but I have the same issue as last night, very painful. I did take some Aleve, I'll see how long this sticks around. I usually don't suffer from this type of pain so I may worry it it happens again tomorrow.

Probably from all my work stress, hopefully it will be over this time next week when the inspection is over.

DH received a .50 cent raise from his job - he completed his 90 day probation and now is a bona fide employee. I'm so happy for him and he really seems to like his job, and right now the drive doesn't even seem to bother him. We will see after another month or so.

This is all in the life of JoAnn!

Have a great Monday. IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/04/2018:
Howdy JoAnn!

What’s Jersey Mike subs? A name of a local deli chain? Sorry about your heartburn! Was It cooked peppers and onions? I wouldn’t want subs for both meals either. Not filling enough..not enough veg! (for personal my own preference not critiquing you of course!)

I think maybe slight case of food poisoning. I’ve had food poisoning without throwing up…just horrible pain in stomach when I can hardly eat anything bc I have lost my appetite so badly due to pain and a bloated feeling in my stomach..high up I mean, not gas, just horrible stomach pain and nausea at times sometimes.

Congrats to your DH…that is plain wonderful !!!!!!!!! and feel better. I’m very happy for your hubby. Time flies.

bearcountrygg on 06/04/2018:
Watch out for ulcers....you have been under a lot of stress lately. When I get heart burn...I first drink a little water to wash the acid down...then I take 4 chewable tums...It usually settles it down...my Mom used to say to eat something sweet...or add sugar to water...to neutralize the acid....at any rate...hope you are feeling better now.

Donkey on 06/04/2018:
LOVE Jersey Mike's!!! It must be a midwestern thing. HORN -- it's a wonderful sandwich shop that makes a variety of subs, hoagies, deli sandwiches. YUM!!!

Sorry it gave you heartburn, IP - that's no fun :-(

bearcountrygg on 06/04/2018:
I don't know of jersey mikes in Michigan...we have subway and quiznos though.

innerpeace - Sunday Jun 03, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Seriously did damage this weekend. Cookies, ice cream, hamburgers, bratwurst and chips. This is what happens when family and friends come over unannounced and stay for longer than welcomed. Don't want to sound ****y asking them to leave, so DH cooks and we all eat. And then right when I start actually doing something constructive, like laundry and cleaning, the YA and his stinky GF show up and we feed them too. I don't mind them coming over, but they bring their dogs too and so much for mopping my floors when the dogs run in and out. They say they bring the dogs for Steve to play with, but then they say the dogs can't stay alone because the big hound dog bellows and howls while they are gone and their neighbors complain. It stresses me out. Then the  girl had some of her friends over and they can't go home hungry. Well I at least hope we were good hosts.

Tomorrow I will do better.


Have a great Sunday! IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/03/2018:
It's hard when you have lots of guests.....forgive yourself...tomorrow is another day!

Donkey on 06/03/2018:
I agree with Bear...

Horn_of_plenty on 06/03/2018:
i agree with those above! and it's very hard to be the hosts! that takes very big efforts as i know bc i went to a bbq on Saturday and the hosts were constantly grilling and preparing food. they didn't sit down hardly at all! and the bbq was amazing, but they were workin!

also, i was so thankful for FRUIT and veggies at the bbq. it helped me get full after eating all the junk in somewhat conservative portions. pickles are a good choice too.

i know you tried your best and you know you tried your best. stress and being a host are responsibilities and i don't blame you for doing some damage. never blame yourself too much...there's always days for improvment!

keep on and nice job hosting.

also, you are allowed i believe to kick people out after a certain time...or tell the YA and GF to tell you when / if they want to invite friends over. i think it's weird for people to come over unannounced. personally, i'd be angry.

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Sounds like you have to enforce guest boundaries. If they bring their dogs, they need to clean up after. If they are coming, they need to call first. If they want friends over, they should ask first.

It sounds like they don't have enough structure for their dogs and let separation anxiety run rampant. Suggest that if they can't clean up after their dogs, they bring crates with them.


innerpeace - Friday Jun 01, 2018

Weight: 315.0

So glad it is Friday, even with the day off on Monday this has been the longest week EVER!

Yesterday I put a crock pot with a pot roast in with carrots only. No potatoes.

I wasted time yesterday watching sports and coloring by number on my phone.

This weekend we have the girl. Tomorrow is lots of shopping, DH's truck is going in the shop for new brakes and the girl wanted her eyebrows threaded again. She is also supposed to have a friend over.

Received a message from my mom that she is once again postponing her trip because she does have the great grand kids and will be taking care of them for awhile. She didn't tell me how long.

The girl's last day of school is June 7th and she is already planning her weekly stays with us. It will be different this year as she is too old for camp and she isn't comfortable staying by herself yet.

Have a great weekend! GO CAVS!! GO TRIBE!


Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
I've made roast without potatoes myself...and was still good!! You will enjoy it.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
That sounds yum!

Donkey on 06/01/2018:
I'm glad your girl is staying with you. It's not good to be alone for so long/too long.

innerpeace - Thursday May 31, 2018

Weight: 315.0

Good day!

The results of my time management class - I have about 4.5 hours of time per day to do things...besides look at my phone and watch TV. However, I got the impression this class wanted to account for every second of every day! It was like I have to schedule time to relax, or god forbid it wasn't allowed. Too rigid for me. If I want to sit on by @ss twenty minutes after mowing the grass, I should be able to! Just saying!

So yes on the days DH works, I do go home and sit on my @ss for two hours and then decide I may dedice to cook dinner. Last night  I found thawed ground beef in the sink (from DH who took it out before he left for work) I also saw a jar of marinara sauce on the counter, my gentle hint to make spaghetti. Uh...NO! I didn't feel like spaghetti so I made some meatballs in mushroom gravy and egg noddles. I also found some frozen zucchini, that I did not like.

The telehealth calls have ended or so I think. I did get a call from a telenurse asking me if my equipment was working. I don't have any equipment so I haven't called her back to ask what the h3ll she is talking about.

Alberto is supposed to effect our weather tonight and tomorrow, so hope it doesn't rain too much more, I have a lake in my backyard.

Work people who are working on the safety inspection are all gone today...figures! They keep saying, next week and then it will be too late. I just know I did my best.

New janitors start tomorrow, not a good thing for my office.

Anyway, finding things to do this weekend. Have a great day and continue to fight!



Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/31/2018:
OOps...sounds like telehealth is mixed up! You weren't enjoying that call too much were you....?

Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2018:
Sounds like Telehealth calls to try to get back your business to them!

Nice creative dinner to cook instead of the spaghetti !!

very funny all the inspection work folks are off today from your job lol....too funny! well, maybe not funny for you, but certainly for me!!

innerpeace - Wednesday May 30, 2018

Weight: 315.0

I have never been so incredibly irriatated at people than I am today. Bleepity, bleep, bleep, @sshats and idiots and every other name you can call stupid coworkers.

We have been knowing about this safety inspection for more than six months, guess what, OMG, it is in two weeks and now these idiots actually want to start doing something? We had an eyewash station that as been out of commisison for I don't know say, SIX MONTHS!! and the guy keeps saying, I'll do it, I'll do it!. So he starts doing it and then says...I can't do it. And then, and then another idiot says, we can just order another one!! OK, well, if they first guy knew he couldn't fix it, why didn't they order a new one SIX MONTHS ago? I mean just maybe, maybe someone may have needed it.

Needless to say, I will be more than happy when the stupid inspection is over!

Other than that, the girl was over last night, she asked to go back to counseling because she can't talk to her mother. DH made her an appointment.

DH made teriaki chicken and corn for dinner., that was relly, it was the Klondyke ice cream that ruined everything.

We are doing time management surveys! I will go an manage my time.

Have a great evening! IP

Progress as of today: 6.6 lbs lost so far, only 105 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/30/2018:
Breathe...don't take the coworkers behavior personally......maybe make a list of things people are responsible for and post it???? Or would that cause trouble? Maybe others will put pressure on them? Your dinner sounds delish...including the ice cream. And good for the girl knowing that she could use some help....she depends on you guys to be her normal.....at least she is lucky enough to have you.

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
Hugs. Breathe. We can only control the things we can control.

horn_of_plenty on 05/31/2018:
at least you are doing what you can do for the safety inspection...it's notall on you, like the others said above. do what you can but the rest is out of your hands! so don't take others behavior personally as you seem to be more much more on the ball with prepping things.

next, girlie has a good relationship with you and DH in order to ask to go back to counseling and that is really a wonderful thing.

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