Because I didn't eat lunch I got home starving. I opted for pretzels and hummus. Dinner was the left over chicken, cheese, dorito casserole thing, DH made. It was ok, very greesy and I didn't like the raw onions. For a snack or dessert I finished off the chex mix. This wasn't regular chex mix, it was the delicious muddy buddy chex mix. The same I had earlier in the day.

Sad to say, again we just sat in the house. We do this for four to five hours a night. We leave Steve in the kennel for the whole day we are at work, so I hate to leave the house so he won't have to go in the kennel. That is the real reason I don't go shopping on the weekend. I don't want my dog in the kennel. Why have a dog, if he has to stay in the kennel all the time? He was my Christmas present last year and I didn't know I would get so attached to him. But I don't like him in the kennel. We used to leave him in the house, but everything from the carpet to furniture got chewed on, so after tons of research and reading, I agreed to put him in the kennel. He hates it! He goes in, but I know he hates it. I have told my DH this many times. He just says...he's a dog!! Yes, but he's my dog!!

I started to complete an on-line membership application to the Y, but didn't finish it. I was waiting to get a referral card completed to get a discount off the rate. Would you believe someone from the Y called and said...hey noticed you started to fill out an application on line, why did you stop? Do you have questions? WOW...really? I guess nothing is actually prviate anymore.

B: toasted English muffin, iced coffee

L: turkey wrape with kale salad with poppyseed dressing, banana & necterine

D: DH said something about going out, don't know where or what he wants.

Work sucks today! Sometimes, I really hate people. But my girlfriend from Oklahoma sent me this picture...Thanks, thanks a lot really needed this today. 

I'm sure this says KEEP GOING!! Have a great day!

Got up Saturday morning and weighed in at WW. Not as bad as I thought, but it's not good. Took Steve to the vet, he hated it. They had to put a muzzle on my ten pound dog!! He was snapping at everyone, poor baby. He moped around the rest of the day.

DH and I started out about 6:00 for our date night. Somewhere along the way, I became very crabby and made us both miserable. I have no reason. I don't know why I do half the things I do. We arrive at the diner we usually eat and I'm like, why are all these people here? We had to wait on a table, not going to happen, so I walked out. I just get overwhelmed. I feel like there are so many people cramped up in this tiny little area. Why do I have to wait through three lights to turn to get home. Where are all these people going. OMG! DH has lived in this town all his life. I ask where is the theater to watch the play. He says I don't know, ask Siri. Really? You've lived here your whole entire life and you don't know where this place is? This annoys me! I say, 'just for aguments sake, when we get there, do not tell me, Oh, I didn't know this is where this place was', because he does that all the time!!

We find the theater and he says, wow, I didn't know this was a theater (it was an old renovated church) then he says, hey keep going and right down here is hwy 58 and we can eat at this other restaurant. Steam was coming out of my ears!! Everytime!!  I opted for pasta. The play was nicely done, very comical! I enjoyed it.

Sunday, it snowed all day. DH snow blowed the drive way twice and then had to get up and do it again this morning so I could get out of the driveway. He drove the 4X4 to work at 6:30, me my start time was delayed 4 hours, but the roads downtown were awful! I did get up this morning and do Walk Away the Pounds, I shovled snow off the patio so Steve could get out, the snow is up to his chest, he hops around in it like a rabbit.

Sunday:

B: bagel thin with 2 Tbsps of cream cheese

L: chili dog

S: hummus and pretzels

D: chicken, corn, cheese dorito thing, casserole

Desk was put in my new office, it is so little. DH suggested I purchase a poster of a window and hang it in there. My boss did say I could get it painted, I will pick some cheery, happy color. I might have just enough room to move around whenever the file cabinets are moved in too.

B: skipped breakfast - had chex mix

L: Diet Dr. Pepper

D: will be left over chicken casserole and salad.

No plans for tonight, except shovel the new fallen snow, with 3 more inches predicted tonight. My front and back yards today.

So much drama at my house. I left work to get home. DH was putting dinner together. We had baked fish and salad, which was pretty good. DH then says he would like no bake cookies, so I threw a batch together. Why? We have no will power, no intestinal fortitude, no restraint whatsoever! We just freakin' love food, we love the taste of food, it is our drug of choice! And It goes without saying...they were delicious...6 points a piece delicious.

DH told me DSD told him her mother and step-dad was talking about us again saying the only reason DH was with me was for my money. What the hell? I wonder where I get all the money they believe I have. I get up and go to work like everyone else. DSD also said that her mother and step-dad said we just try to buy her. Again, we just do stuff, we plan things every weekend, we aren't just sitting in the house watching TV doing nothing. Really, how much does it cost to go to the library to play bingo...Nothing. How much does it cost to go to the library to do yoga....nothing!!  This all comes from my DH asking if we could have the DSD one afternoon this weekend to go to the Jurassic Quest. The thing is only scheduled for one weekend, just happens to be the weekend we don't have the DSD. I just thought it would be a fun and educational experience. It's not about buying anyone. This in turn, pisses my DH off and thus starts the texting war. I despise this. I hate it! Just let it go already.

I just don't understand how the mother could be so hateful and not care about her D's wellbeing. I mean I made her a dental appointment, her first. The girl is 10 years old, she should have been to the dentist way before this. Why does this make me a bad person? I just want the best for her, like keeping lice out of her hair, giving her a chance to experience fun educational stuff and taking her to the dentist. I don't necessarily think this means I'm trying to buy anything! Oh for pete's sake!! The more I think about it the more it pisses me off.

We are researching gym membership. We have nothing very close to our home. The closest one is 6 miles which is Planet Fitness, not what I was looking for. The next is heath centers and YMCA, price ranging from $38-95 per month. OUCH! I am going to ask tomorrow at the WW meeting if there are any Y members there to see if I can get a referral for 20% off, anything will help.

B: bagel thin; iced coffee

S: yogurt raisons

L; fish wrap with salad; 2 no bake cookies

D: I have no idea

After the WW meeting, Steve has a vet appointment tomorrow, the last appointment he had made him mad for two days. I hope he doesn't get mad this time. We also have tickets to see a play Love, Sex and the IRS. Sounds pretty funny.

Tomorrow is the fresh start at WW, so I will be sure to post my weight gain.

I am going to post this here!! I WILL NEVER EAT BURKER KING AGAIN!! Coupon or NO Coupon! Because we had the volunteer time at the Friends of the Lorain County Metroparks garage sale DH recommends we eat BK again because he has a coupon. OMG I belched that burger all night long. I was miserable. I refuse to eat there anymore. While there I did take Steve for a walk on the trail, I thought they would have plowed the snow off, but no, we trekked through the snow. My little dog was so cold after the end of our walk. I did manage to get over 5K steps today.

There was so much crap donated for the garage sale: mostly holiday decorations, books, toys (board games - I guess no one plays anymore), household goods, sporting goods, knick knacks of all kinds. There was just so much stuff I was overwhelmed just looking at it all. I feel sorry for whoever volunteered to sort it out and set it up. I do hope they make lots of money though.

D: BK - yuck

B: bagel thin; iced coffee

S: protein bar - cookie dough flavor...NASTY!

L; turkey, SW salad wrap, clementimes

D: baked tilapia, brocalli

My goal for February is to drink more water. I do not drink it at all. I also found a reimbursement form from my stupid insurance, that they will reimburse Weight Watcher costs, up to $150 per year. Great, another incentive to actually go to the meetings. Depending on what DSD has on today, we may check out the zumba class (oh geeze and depending on the weather) it is snowing now, with freezing rain potential.

Moveres showed up at work to move all the empty book stacks for the reno project, soon I will be working out of a closet. Good bye windows!!

Have a great day! IP

So DSD enjoyed her evening at the library and brought home a book to read. I wished she liked to read more. I had made turkey and cheese quesidillas and tomato soup for dinner. So after eating we left for our Taste of Yoga class. This is the third or fourth class I have taken in the last six months. Today I feel like it is OK. I still feel uncomfortable because I am so big I can't grab the body part I am supposed to grab. I probably look hideous doing it, but I tried my hardest. DSD and DH seemed to like it. Today my neck hurts. Either I slept wrong last night or pulled something stretching.

Coworker gave me her password to her gaiam account and said I should try the AM/PM yoga and see if I like it any better. Maybe I will check it out if I can get the computer/tv hookup to jive.

Tonight we volunteer at the Friends of the Lorain County Metroparks taking in garage sale items for this weekend. Though I didn't want to work the actual garage sale I did want to help in some way, so this is it. Maybe we will have some donations, if not it is just two hours in a warm building, how bad could it be? I'm taking Steve, so I can get him a walk in at the trail. He is getting cabin fever with snow on the ground, his time outdoors is limited, poor baby!

Tomorrow I have thoughts about trying a Zumba class at a local church, maybe...

They have a Jurassic Quest in Akron this weekend, I asked DH to ask the DSD mother if we could have her for one afternoon to take her, I thought she would have a great time...alas no, they have plans. I made a comment, what are they going to do this weekend go sit at the morgue for six hours. I guess DH didn't think it was funny, but oh well.

B: bagel thin, iced coffee (this is maxwell house french vanilla, I use 1% milk) it is 5 points.

S: protein bar - I am out of protein bars

L. turkey cheese thin sandwhich, salad, pretzel balls

S: clementime

D: TBD I think since we are going to the reservation to accept donations for the garage sale we will pick something up on the way home.

Funny store at work, someone gave me a box to mail UPS. I haven't had to mail anything UPS so I didn't know the procedure and as I was going back to my desk I saw the mailroom guy walking through the library rotunda...so the following ensues:

I said, sir? He didn't hear me and kept walking. I yelled sir, again as he was going through the double doors. I yelled sir, again as he was crossing the catwalk into the law building. I yelled sir again as he started down the stairs. Only when I went down the stairs and waved my hands in the air did he finally look up. He didn't hear me calling because he had ear buds in!!! Great so thanks for making me look like a psycho...I asked him about the UPS, he said all I had to do was give the box to him and he would UPS it for me. So he took it...YAY!

And then when I turned around to come back into the law library I ran smack into the UPS man!! What? Who does this happen to? Good thing all UPS men are handsome, and I'm soft so it's all good.

Have a great day!! IP

Why does this process have to be so hard? If someone ever wanted to know how to gain weight I could surely tell them. Friday night we went to the family diner by our house to eat dinner. I had a chicken ranch wrap and only a few fries. My DH ate most of my fries. I was supposed to get up Saturday morning and go to the Weight Watchers meeting but I just could not get up and go. There are three maybe four meetings Saturday morning, I just could not face that I had once again gained weight. I just get so disappointed with myself. I made a crustless quiche for breakfast. We also had a banana and grapes, it just goes down hill from there. DH got home around noon and brought us Burger King (because he had a coupon) and then he and the little girl went to do all the shopping. Funny how he can spend over $120 and come back with hardly any food. He did have laundry soap and fabric softener though.

We had a Frozen Festival to attend which was nice for the DSD but it took every ounce of me to get through it with a smile on my face. I really don't like kids and to have 300 running around acting crazy over cartoon charactors was hard on every last nerve. Afterwards neither DH or I felt like cooking it was well after 8:00 pm, so we settled on pizza. Not the healthiest choice in the world. Matter of fact sometime in the night I took off my wedding set because my hands had swelled so badly.

Sunday was the laundry and domestic duty day, most of the house got cleaned and the laundry done but I didn't make it upstairs to clean the extra bathroom. After we dropped the DSD off at the funeral home we stopped by the goodwill and I looked around. Either I went on a good day, where stuff wasn't picked through or someone my size recently lost weight or died. Yes I think about these things. I found lots of tops and pants that were just my size, most of the tops had the tags still on them. I know I picked up at least four tops and two pair of pants that were Croft & Barrow, well over $100 worth of clothes. I found a pair of boots and dress shoes (just my size) that looked brand new. I also found a new bathing suit for me and one for the DSD for our trip to the indoor swim park in early March, and a pair of pajama bottoms for DH all for the low, low price of $28.00. I felt lucky, other times I go in there and can't find anything.

DH baked a turkey, we had dressing and green beans for late lunch dinner.

Monday I had all intentions of journaling but got caught up in work stuff and before I knew it was time to go home. I could have journaled at home, but somewhere between work and home i got to thinking of things again and ended up in a bad place. I always hear how people love their jobs and never feel like they have to work. I wish that was me. I go to work to pay my bills. I do not like my job. I do the best I can and do my work properly but I am not truly happy doing it.

So how do people have these life changing moments to find out what they want to do with their lives? Where does passion for something come from? I seemed to have skipped this phase in my life or something. I ask myself all the time what exactly do I want to do to be happy and I still cannot answer this question. I'm just not exactly sure what it is. I remember at my last boss's retirement party the emcee was reading his bio and stated that he found his passion for electronics at a young age. I wondered what happend at that young age to make him feel passionate about electronics? Of course I never did ask, all I know is I have just never had that aha moment. Maybe one day it will come around.

B: bagel thin, iced coffee

S: protein bar

L:  turkey/swiss sandwich., grapes

S: garlic parmasean pretzel rounds

D: turkey, dressing casserole

Tuesday at work I had to sit in a day long interview session for a candidate that I will never have to work with, I hope I get the vibe from my coworkers that actually do, so I can select the correct one. One down, two to go.

B : bagel thin, iced coffee

S: Protein bar

L: left over turkey dressing casserole, clementimes

S: grapes

Dinner will probably be a quick sandwich and soup.

DH is picking DSD up and taking her to the library for a Tween Central period. They play bingo and read or something. Once they get home we turn around and go to our Taste of Yoga class tonight. I hope it turns out better than the last yoga class.

Anyway, I'm on my trek to find my AHA moment. I hope you all know your passion. Have a great night. IP

Dinner was pork roast with honey mustard seasoning, it was really good. I also made a califlower casserole with turkey bacon and no fat mayo and sour cream. The cheese was whole cheese but I didn't use as much as the recipe called for, that also turned out very good.  DH took Steve for a walk.

I watched the biggest loser, shed some tears with the contestants and wish them all well. Then I watched Project Runway, I love that show, I wish I could learn to sew like that.

So my dog is crazy and barks at dogs and cats that are on the TV, he runs through the downstairs looking for them and then jumps on the back of the sofa and looks out the window for them. He barks at every Swiffer commericial thinking someone is at the door when the doorbell rings, he runs through the house like a maniac, sometimes he just doesn't stop, so I open the patio door for him and he runs out and barks at what he needs to bark at. I usually leave the patio door open in the milder months, however since it is winter it only stays open a few minutes.  This is usually nightly unless it gets frigid cold. My dog has been sprayed by a skunk twice and he should know better, but he's a dog.

After Project Runway I head upstairs and get ready for bed, my DH is in the garage and he comes in and comes upstairs, we go to bed. I was hot all night, I think DH turned on the fan about 2:30 am. So when I get up to let the dog out at 5:30...the patio door is still open from last night!! What the What? So I guess the heater ran all night long trying to heat up the downstairs all this time I am burning up upstairs, crazy stuff I tell you.

DH already received a text from the evil ex asking if he could bring DSD to the funeral home early Sunday afternoon. I knew this would happen, but as long DSD can enjoy Saturday without drama, this will be good for her.

B: bagel thin

S: protein bar

L: turkey/swiss wrap

S: yogurt raisons

I think we are going out to eat, not very sure what's for dinner.

Very concerned I will have a gain this week. I will keep trying. I hate stressing over the whole weigh in thing, how to get rid of this stress? I hate I let that stupid piece of electronic crap intimidate me so!! What a bully!!

Have a good one! IP

It's amazing what a few hours relaxing with the drapes drawn will do for a migraine, oh yeah after taking Maxalt, my headache finally ended, just in time for me to go to the dentist...yeah, NOT! However, I must say of all the dentists I have been to, this one is most nice and the hygenist had me laughing, which is difficult to do when there are sharp tools in your mouth. It was better than expected, no cavities!!

DSD was not with me, DH received a text message at work from her mother and told my husband that her brother unexpectedly passed away and could DSD stay with her. Well of course she can. But I know she only has one brother so this pass only works once. No, I'm not being mean. This is the most brassy, uncouth woman I have ever had the acquaintence to know. She is awful and only thinks of herself, especially when she lets her daughter continue to have lice, won't teach her to wipe and hasn't taught her basic hygeine skills. This entire situation makes me so mad. We have tickets Saturday to go to a Frozen Festival 5:30-8:00. I told my DH not to be upset if DSD's mother calls and asked if she can stay home to attend the funeral and be with the family. Hey sure...I guess. I just think she is getting what she deserves in the end. How she started an affair on the internet with a man, left her husband and all the hardship and pain she has caused. I know her new husband has been in and out of the hospital dealing with diabetes issues and then she has gall bladder/kidney issues and has been in and out of the hopital too. I'm just saying, KARMA and all her sisters are probably coming to bite her in the ass.

On the way home I stopped and picked up dinner. I had a grilled chicken and walnut salad, it was tasty.

DH brought home a bag of lindor chocolates and I did eat a few (4) for dessert, not that I needed dessert after I just had my teeth cleaned, but they are there. I did take Steve (our fox terrior dog) for a walk . Trying to get at least 5,000 steps per day, been short this week, not that I have been doing anything extra. This will change!! I will get motivated. I'm sure weigh in Saturday will be a gain, BUT i'll worry about that then.

B: bagel thin with butter

S: protein bar

L: turkey/swiss on sandwhich rounds, grapes, banana and a handful of off brand funyons.

S: half peanut butter on sandwhich round

Dinner is some kind of pork roast and DH took a turkey out of the freezer to cook this weekend...what on earth?

Just looking at what I listed for eating, I am eating way to much bread!

A note about my picture, I would already classify that as old, I just got all my hair cut off and new glasses, but it is the current weight.

Have a great evening. IP

Good intentions, my life is filled with them.

I left work at noon with a migraine, I haven't had one in a while but this one side lined me the entire evening. Scrapped Zumba. Tonight I have a dental appointment, biannual cleaning. I usually come away with my mouth hurting for one reason or another, I think the hygenist hurts worse than the doctor.

DSD is going to go, the receptionist said she can come in and watch and speak to the hygenist to get a feel for the place. She is paranoid of the dentist...why? I have no idea, she has never been, so someone has put the fear of God in her about the dentist (an I haven't said a word about how I feel!).  I will make her an initial appointment after.

I was discussing with my DH about how I have all the tools I need to lose weight and I can't for the life of me figure out why I don't stay OP. I guess my desire to lose weight needs to overcome my desire for sweet food.

L: turkey wrap with swiss cheese, kale, brocolli and avocado

D: grilled chicken, corn

S: COSMOs salted carmel corn puffs (a serving is 4 points) I think I had 4 servings, I wasn't just satisfied with one. This is what I can't figure out.

I stayed up and watched My Big Fat Beautiful Life, I think I laughed (guffawed laughed) at that girl's crazy antics, if she's happy with herself, so be it. I will buy me a tape measure this weekend to do some measurements, I know I'm not her size...yet. I think she said she was weighing about 380.

DH turned on the ceiling fan on last night, I think we slept much better. We have been getting very hot on the second floor, heat rises, makes for a hot sleeping environment.

Today I started off with B: think bagel

s: potein bar

L. turkey wrap

i thought I would inlcude a few pictures we took around Christmas time. The first was at Bass Pro shop and the second was in the hotel lobby in Dayton, Ohio wearing our Cleveland Browns matching PJs.

Have a good evening...IP

I'm baaaack for the upteenth time, but as long as I keep trying I'm doing something. I have been trying different activities...tonight Zumba. DH already said he would go with. We try lots of things, but either don't like it or don't stick to it. We tried Yoga, but I didn't like that, but have another class scheduled next week. I will try it and see if I like it again. We attended a Fitness Support Group that was help at the local library. About seven people attended. A group put together for motivation and inspriration. It was an introductory class and if everyone shows up again, we will exchange names and emails for motivation and support purposes. Sunday, we attended a medication/breathing workshop...I have come to the conclusion that we are just so stressed in our life. Or we just make it that way.

I attended a journaling class to reduce class at work. I learned a few different techniques, so if I spew off crazy stuff in here...I'm just putting everything I learned into use.

DSD again has head lice. I am so fed up with head lice I just want to shave her bald. Her hair is in the middle of her back and her crazy  mother will NOT cut her hair. Her crazy mother apparently doesn't do anything with it, for the head lice to keep recurring like it does. I have never in my life been around someone who has continuously had head lice for most of the last two years. Child Services just says it's a nuisance, but nothing they would remove the child from the home for. What on earth? Oh well, we will just keep treating it I guess.

DH tried to fix a toilet in the master bathroom for two days, he cursed and cussed that toilet both days. It wasn't the toilet's fault he got the wrong part and had to go back to Home Depot twice and Walmart once!  He finally got it put back together and learned a whole lot, so if one of the other toilets break, he will know how to fix it quicker than the first one.

DH's 50th birthday is coming up the first weekend in February. I tried to put together a surprise party for him, but can't get anyone from his work to attend...which sucks! HIs family lives out of town and won't (or can't) drive up. This makes me sad.

We have a long weekend planned at an indoor water park 6-9 of March, I hope to be at my goal weight by then.

B: cheerios, 1/2 cup milk

S: protein bar