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innerpeace - Monday May 10, 2004
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 274.2

Happy belated Mothers� Day to all the mothers, hope you had a pleasant day. I took my mother out to eat, it was home style dining and it turned out to be pretty good. I only had a few bites of steak, limited mash potatoes and corn. I had a few tastes of corn soup, but I didn�t like that at all. Then I went with my mom to play bingo. She�s a fanatic, I don�t like to go, because I don�t like to lose my money and I never win. She had a fun time, that�s all that matters.

Saturday I mowed the law, which is a chore in itself because my backyard is not level, I have to push that mower up big hills and down in gulleys. Not really, but that�s what it seems like. I did WATP each day. I have another weigh in tonight, but for some reason I don�t think I lost. I�ll just have to wait and see, I refuse to get on the scale, it would depress me for sure.

I got a call from one of the credit reporting agencies, the person who stole my purse and ID applied for an account with Cingular, the stupids gave them a phone. I called them this morning and said, not me, not my responsibility. She activated on 4/27/04 just four days after she stole my purse. I hope for her sake I never see her alone or find out who she is. Anyway, maybe it will end soon.

Yall have a great day! IP


innerpeace - Thursday May 06, 2004
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 274.2

Last night I went home and thought about mowing, but couldn�t convince myself to actually get up and do it. I�m not a garden/lawn person and I would rather burn my yard than mow it. In other words, I don�t take pride in flowers and all that stuff, if my lawn is neat and the neighbors don�t complain, I�m happy.

I started to do Richard Simmons� Groovin to the oldies but I don�t think I like it, It wasn�t structured enough for me. I did about 30 minutes of it and then I did WATP � 2 mile. This weekend on my todo list is to actually go and walk outside. That is scary for me.

Today is staff appreciation day at work, meaning free food I had a cinnamon nut bagel, and I�m convinced that carbs are the enemy. I have been eating yogurt every morning for breakfast since April 19 and I have been fine. Now that I have eaten that stupid bagel I�m starving and lunch is over an hour away. So no more bread for breakfast.

I hope you all have a great day and many continued success. IP

kayla on 05/06/2004:
Free is a very good price!! I am with you on that no breads for breakfast... I have been eating a really good trail mix for breakfast... I hope you have a great day! -Kayla


Kanga on 05/07/2004:
Free food is scary for me! sounds like you did pretty good and got a life lesson to boot! Have a great weekend!


ldsgirl on 05/07/2004:
Missed you while I was gone to Vegas. I don't gamble but I sure know how to spend the money once I hit the mall! We had a fun time and got lots of great deals. Sounds like wednesday was hell for you. Do the police know who stole your purse and have they done anything with the lady that signed your checks? You are doing so well with exercise and eating. Thanks for all the motivation!



innerpeace - Wednesday May 05, 2004
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 274.2

Yesterday I went through a bunch of crap trying to get information for the store that had my forged checks. That lady said I needed an affidavit of forgery, which I get from my bank. I went to my bank, but they wouldn�t give it to me because I didn�t have the police report. That�s OK, I just drove to the police station, which is about 15 miles away. I get to the police station and they couldn�t help me because I didn�t have my case # with me. I�m thinking�oh my gawd�don�t you have a search where you can look up my last name. But no, that is too easy. I drove all the way back home, another 15 miles, to get the case #. Drove back to the police station and then the lady tells me the report is not in the computer. I say, �it�s been over a week and it�s still not in the computer?� She gets huffy and sounds like she�s going out of her way to do something for me. I�m like isn�t that your job..attitude check I say, well I need it, so I will sit and wait, she says, it will be about 30 minutes. I say, I need it, I will be right out here. So after about 25 minutes, I head back to the bank.

I have to wait there forever as well. I�m thinking man don�t these people work? It was well after lunchtime and I thought it wouldn�t be as busy, how wrong I was. After waiting there forever, I finally get the affidavit and head back to the store. They were cordial there. They gave me copies of the forged checks and a video of the lady using my checks. She signed her name on my checks, how stupid can some people be?

Anyway, despite all the drama, waiting and driving I finally got home about 6:00 pm. I was so tired I only ate cheerios for dinner. I watched American Idol, which I didn�t like the format of, and I did the WATP 3-miles. I then took out the garbage and drove to the post office to buy some stamps, to mail the money orders because my checks were stolen. I managed to get to bed by 11:00 pm.

I guess I could have spilt hot coffee on me and had a better day, good thing I don�t drink coffee. I hope you all have a great day. IP

kayla on 05/05/2004:
I had to pull out big chuncks of my own hair! I hate it when stupid/lazy people are standing in my way of getting things done! I don't think you should be tossing coffee on all them folks!! Girl you ROCK!-Kayla



innerpeace - Tuesday May 04, 2004
(Weight Watchers)
Weight: 274.2

Great weigh in last night. I�m so excited I got my �I lost 5 pounds� book mark last night. This is the fourth time I joined WW and this is the first time I received that book mark. I�m so happy, I�m already on my way to getting my first gold star.

I do know that you have to be in the right frame of mind to lose weight. And just like last week, I didn�t crave anything and go into any withdrawal convulsions so I�m thinking I CAN DO THIS! I was so totally excited that I exercised (3 WATP) after Everwood and was in bed by 9:30. My body was screaming this morning because it thinks it needs at least one sleep in day. On drill weekends I don�t get to sleep in and I get so sleepy during the week.

While I was doing my WATP tape with the waist band, one of the arm bands snapped off, it stretched right in two. So I rigged one up using the bands from the Body 90 system. It looks funny but still serves its purpose. I was thinking of actually going outside to walk, I have a park less than a mile away, but I haven�t taken that plunge yet. Usually actually walking affects my lower back and it is truly uncomfortable.

I�m off to the bank now to do some forgery/fraud paperwork regarding my checkbook. I hope you all have a great day.

IP

inmorning on 05/04/2004:
Congrats on your weight loss. What branch of the service are you in and what is your MOS?


kayla on 05/04/2004:
whahoooooo way to go!!! I agree! It's a incredible adventure!! all we need to do is turn around look up and see... You Rock!!-Kayla.......................I had to add a little bit on to your comment... I read what you said on my entry... I have lived so many many wasted years stepping back and letting others go first to be waited on... I have like you watched the fittness "expert" fawn over the skinny chick... you know what... I am not wasting one more minute caring what they think or want... not all but a lot could care less what I want or think...this my sound selfcentered and for a lot of us it will because it is so wierd for us just to expect and or demand regular old garden verity amounts of respect... the fat... and the super fat...pay just as much to go to the gym as does miss skinny and its time more of us in our own way stand up and say...I am here for what I have paid for! Now help me or give me my money back!! I will be exploring this more tomorrow! and way to go on loosin weight!-Kayla


squiggly on 05/04/2004:
Congrats on reaching the five pound mark. YOu are doing so well. Keep up the good work. Good luck on the checkbook issue. I would be terrified. We always use debit cards and our checkbook stays home. I hope everything works out.


ldsgirl on 05/05/2004:
YOU DESERVE A GOLD STAR!!! Your comment Friday gave me just what I needed to keep me going. I appreciate it so much. Doesn't it suck that you have to go thru all this stuff because some loser stole your purse. Sorry about that. Lately someone in our area has been going around and siphoning fuel out of peoples gas tanks and stealing it. What's wrong with people??? I loved it when your wrote 'definately on my weigh' We are all on our weigh! Weigh to go! (oops maybe I took it to far hee hee)! Have a good day today and thanks for inspiring me. I am starting to truly experience innerpeace and It feels great.



innerpeace - Monday May 03, 2004

Weight: 277.0

I had a long, long weekend making up drill and having drill weekend at the same time. I subjected myself to 4 days of torture willingly. However, my commander did not say a word to me the entire weekend, how�s that for sarcasm? I didn�t have any problems drinking my water and I kept busy so food wasn�t on my mind as much as usual.

Other than drill, my four day mission in hell was uneventful. I was sitting in a meeting and someone told me to smile, because I would ruin the commander�s day. I just commented that I wasn�t going to smile, because he ruined my day every time I saw him.

I did get notification that someone wrote checks on my account. One was written to the grocery store for $46 dollars. I have mixed emotions at first I think, man they must have really wanted something to eat and then I think, why didn�t they just go ahead and purchase hundreds of dollars worth of stuff? Then I also think they probably just bought beer and cigarettes and I get really steamed.

I kept my exercise up, except for Saturday, which is my day off, and I have my second weigh in today at WW. I hope everyone has a great day and many continued successes. IP

kayla on 05/03/2004:
You know what? Good Job on your week end...and the next time some butthead tells you to smile...let that person know that if they feel free to tell you what to do with your face that you will feel free to tell them what to do with their...then send them to me... The commander can get happy all bye his or her self... oooooh i get steamed when people feel they can make comments on...oh wait thats what I am doing... ooooh i get steamed when "other people" make comments ...Girlfriend You Rock!! Have a great day!-Kayla



innerpeace - Wednesday Apr 28, 2004

Weight: 277.0

I did really well at the Mexican restaurant. I just took out a handful of chips and put them on that little plate they give you so I would know exactly how many I ate, and the salsa was great. I didn�t eat any queso or flour tortillas so I am very happy with myself. For lunch I had a grilled fajita chicken breast covered with cheese and grilled onions and green peppers, with a few beans and I had a sopapilla for dessert. I think the total was 9 points all together. So I learned today, you can go out and enjoy Mexican food and still stay within your points. Dinner was my fat free hot dogs and a salad. Right now I�m particularly happy that I don�t have to cook for anyone else but me, I�m not sure they would have been happy with just hotdogs.

I�m addicted to American Idol so I had to watch that and then I did the 3 mile WATP tape. I get tired of listening to Leslie Sansone talk so I just put in a CD and turn it up loud enough to cover her voice. I did purchase two Richard Simmons �Sweatin to the Oldies� tapes and look forward to getting them. I have drill this weekend and that will probably wreak havoc with my emotional state, with my battle with my weight. And I found out this morning, that the so called thieves who stole my purse also took my beret, two pairs of glasses (prescription sun glasses and another pair of regular glasses) and three prescriptions (antibiotic, muscle relaxer and pain killer)�son of a bleeps�they really make me hate the general population.

I hope you all have a great day and conquer your temptations. I still haven't thrown away the Junior Mints, but I haven't eat them either, most times I forget they are sitting on the kitchen table. I'll think about it tonight. IP

inmorning on 04/28/2004:
GET RID OF THOSE JUNIOR MINTS, and I don't mean your stomach. There, now someone has been stern with you. Have a great day hon.


Kanga on 04/28/2004:
Thanks for the suggestion about the CD I too get tired of her talking I know every word she is going to say and say it with her now its boring but your suggestion sounds great!


Emmy on 04/28/2004:
Sounds like you had a good day. I like the sweating to the oldies. I'm glad you mentioned them because I'm going to go find mine and do one tonight. I'm new to this, but I think I'm going to really like it. Have a good evening.



innerpeace - Tuesday Apr 27, 2004

Weight: 277.0

I weighed in last night at WW down 4 pounds. WOO HOO I�m all for that. And when I look back at the week, I don�t recall suffering or going through withdrawal symptoms of any type. So my obvious conclusion is, if I made it through the first week with no problem, then the following weeks shouldn�t be a problem at all.

Funny story though, my mother called and asked me to pick up some ice cream because it was on sale. She wanted two � gallons of ice cream, one vanilla and one butter pecan. This is not tempting to me, because I�m really not an ice cream fan due to sensitive teeth. Anyway, I had just finished with my WW meeting and I am buying these two � gallons of ice cream and when I get to the cashier, she is giving me the funniest look ever. You know the kind, like when your top is buttoned up wrong, or worse yet buttons have popped open. Anyway I pay for the ice cream and get in my car and notice I still had my WW name tag on. I laughed, I bet that cashier was thinking �Right, and weight watchers sure works for you?� I can imagine the sarcasm and what she was thinking.

My best friend, God bless her, made a Easter basket for me. (I know it is a bit late, but that is just how we work here, always in procrastination mode or we never get in a hurry.) She gave me an OU mug and stuffed animal and many, many plastic eggs filled with jelly beans and Cadbury cream eggs and a huge movie size box of Junior Mints (my all time favorite candy on earth). They sit on the kitchen table and I haven�t had any cravings whatsoever. My dilemma is should I get rid of them or just leave them? They haven�t been a problem so far, but there is always the moment of weakness.

Last night I had Oscar Mayer fat free hot dogs for dinner wrapped in a flour tortilla. They were good, but I do like those fat free hotdogs. I also had some grapes. I tried to drink all my water but it is very hard to do. I did the 3 mile WATP and went to bed.

Today will be a special challenge, one of the supervisors is leaving and they are taking her to Ted�s Mexican Escondito, one of the best Mexican restaurants around. I will probably have to dig into my flex points. I�ll let you all know how it goes.

Have a good day and great success.

Cynt on 04/27/2004:
Hey Girlie ... Kudos to you!!!! Down 4 pounds and sinking lower!!! I admire you for having that temptation around and not yielding to eat ... be careful though. I wouldn't want it to jump up and attack you in a challenging moment. You be the judge... keep it around as long as it's definitely NOT bothering you BUT the moment you may become tempted DON'T HESITATE to KILL it BEFORE it KILLs all your HARD WORK. Love ya, Cynthia


pinkuspettuty on 04/27/2004:
I personally would have to get rid of the chocolates etc because at the wrong moment if I see it I eat it. Thanks for your nice comments. Pam


inmorning on 04/27/2004:
Get rid of that candy. YOu and I both know what will happen if you don't. Either give it away or destroy it so you won't be tempted. And don't say, here I will save it to give to so and so in a day or two.


ldsgirl on 04/27/2004:
You are doing so FABULOUS! I love the story about the ice cream. My husband sometimes sends me to pick up fast food for him and his crew so I get 4-5 burgers and whatever else the guys want and I hate the looks of disbelief that I get from the cashier. I can only imagine what they are thinking. Another thing that I have been doing these days is ordering big cups of ice and pouring my water in it and I'm sure people are thinking "well no wonder". Keep up the good work you are really motivating me!



innerpeace - Monday Apr 26, 2004

Weight: 0.0

I had a pretty rough weekend and it didn't involve food. Friday night I went to a bar, not to drink or party mind you, but to pick up some pictures my friend had of mine. Her husband runs the kareoke machine and she goes to shoot pool. The pictures were of my group of class mates that graduated in December. Anyway, one of these days I will learn, but during the whole 25 minutes I was in the bar, someone broken into my car and stole my purse and lots of other paperwork that was in my car. Each day, stupid stuff like this, makes me hate the general public more and more. No wonder I never leave my house.

As soon as I saw that my purse was missing, I rushed home and called the credit card companies and everyone I could think of to cancel my credit cards. Thank God for 1-800 numbers. I was so mad at my stupidity that I was going to eat, but instead I started exercising at 11:00 o'clock at night.

Early Saturday morning I was the first one at the bank to cancel checks and make sure my account wasn't compromised. The lady I worked with was very efficient and understanding. And then it starts. I have to get everything replaced, which won't be hard, but I did have some photos that can't be replaced. I did call those credit reporting agencies and had a fraud alert put on my SSN, so maybe that will help. Then I called the police. The officer I spoke to was "why didn't you call us last night". I told him because I didn't want to wait on them to arrive when whoever stole my purse could start charging stuff up. My money was my first priority. He just snickered like he understood.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. I didn't want to leave my house and see people. I did clean out my car and from now on, there will be absolutely nothing left in my car. No papers, no containers, nothing.

My eating was OK. I followed the plan, but I didn't get all the water drank. My first weigh in is tonight. I kinda anxious to see what the scale reads. I hope you all have many fabulous successes.

flutterby3910 on 04/26/2004:
i have to say....what a good job not eating in the face of disaster!!! you're becoming more and more the person you want to be. because as we all know, you become the skinny person inside FIRST, then you become skinny on the outside after mastering your inner overeater. i tell myself that if i could just find another addiction to take the place of eating, but i did that with smoking and i don't advise going down that road. but you, you did it!! you conquered the battle!! now.....to win the WAR!!!! onward fearless warrior!!!


Kanga on 04/26/2004:
What a weekend! Sorry!


ldsgirl on 04/26/2004:
I am so grateful that you started posting again. I used to read your entries all the time. I just love you! I enjoy all your entries. I am so sorry that your purse got stolen what a pain in the ... I hope that you get all of it figured out. I really wanted to thank you for the comment you left Friday. It lifted my spirits so much. It isn't like any of us desire to be fat. Um yeah, that's what I want out of life obesity. People are very insensitive and don't even have a clue about what is really going on or what we have been thru-willpower my foot. This is it girl-our last time at just trying to lose the weight-this time we are DOING IT! I can not even believe how much better I feel in the short amount of time I have done this. I will be here for you and I hope that you keep in touch with me. Let's do this ONCE AND FOR ALL!


inmorning on 04/26/2004:
You deserve some success hon. I hate to hear that about your car. Some people are jerks. I had a Bible stole out of my car once. I figured they needed it more anyway.



innerpeace - Friday Apr 23, 2004

Weight: 0.0

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I have a girl at work that helps me out. We eat lunch together and try to keep each other motivated.

Breakfast: non fat Cherry Cheesecake yogart Lunch: broiled chicken breast, egg noodles and carrots Dinner: chicken wrap (I took fat free chicken breast lunch meat, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, croutons)

I tried to do the Power 90 step 1-2 exercise tape. I really didn�t realize how bad of shape I�m in and I really have more respect for the people who do yoga. There is a small amount of power yoga included and�oh my gawd�I thought I would die. Tonight I will try the step 1-2 toning tape with the bands.

It is supposed to rain all day Saturday so it looks like a great day to catch up on house work. I am going to an Arbonne (A Swedish Skin Care Line) Party in the afternoon and then a Passion Party in the evening, which is an adult type party. I�m looking forward to that. Sunday if the grass dries out enough, I may mow and I must clean out my car.

I hope you all have a great weekend and have many successes. Jo Ann

geevee on 04/23/2004:
My brother was in the Vietnam War and my youngest son, in Desert Storm ten years ago. Both wars were Hell for me. That National Guard units are being sent to Iraq without having had the same level of training as full time soldiers and knowingly placed in such danger causes me to suggest that you not try too hard to lose weight. Being practical about this, maybe you will be passed over.

I know how bad this sounds, but realistically speaking, I think it's practical advice. I sound unpatriotic, but from the point of view of a sister and mother, I'm not.


flutterby3910 on 04/24/2004:
i suggest that you begin to eat more fresh vegetables. salads. the fresh vegetables carry enzymes that cooked food doesn't. plus it takes more calories to break down the vegetables when they're not cooked, making the calorie content very small when you use a light salad dressing. there's plenty of fiber in it also, so you get filled up on less calories. i'm also in the service. i wouldn't mind becoming buddies so that we can help each other. i have struggled with my weight for some time. the last 14 years and then a few more before that to be exact. i'm beginning to realize that a healthy diet of fresh foods is the way. try going to this website also. http://www.freedomyou.com/ it shows alot of information on holistic healing and fasting. i've lost ten pounds so far and i'm feeling healthier than i did when i first started. i eat alot of food and i've had my toe broken for the entire time, so i haven't been exercising! i go to do my weigh in on the 1st and 2nd of may. i won't pass the weight, but i might be able to pass the measurements if i continue to eat this way. i'm learning that the way there is to eat healthy!!! god bless you in your efforts whatever you choose them to be. *flutterby



innerpeace - Thursday Apr 22, 2004
(Weight Watchers Flex Points)
Weight: 281.0

Wow, I can�t believe how long it has been since I�ve written in my diary. I have been focusing my attention on other things besides me and my weight. I finally graduated the university with my bachelor�s degree so now I can�t use study and research as an excuse not to. My son also moved back to Texas to be with his dad, and he was my last excusable reason that I used to not do something.

As you can notice, I have gained instead of loose weight and I was finally �cornered� by my commander at drill who not-so-politely told me �I was shirking my military duties as an NCO, I wasn�t honoring my commitment or fulfilling my military obligations�. I couldn�t argue, all I could do was let him see it through my stand point.

I tried to explain, how humiliated I felt coming to drill knowing how I look and then expecting my soldiers to respect me and do what I told them to do. I told him I didn�t like being this way. I was talking to my therapist and I discovered it was a combination of two problems: not wanted to be deployed again (with my unit) and not being hurt in a relationship. I was deployed during the first Desert Storm and have no desire whatsoever to go back. With half of my unit already deployed, I just know that if/when I drop my tonnage (impressively large amount of weight) I�ll be on the first plane flyin� outta here. Also when I saw my ex, for the first time in six years, my heart just about jumped out of my chest. I still love him. My mom thinks I�m a nut, but I can�t help the way I feel. He remarried almost eight years ago and is happy, to say the least. I just can�t seem to get passed things.

Anyway, in spite of recent events, I have come to the conclusion (again) that I must lose weight. I have told everyone at work and I think I have their support, at least for now. I joined Weight Watchers (for the fourth time), invested in Walk Away the Pounds, Tai Bo, Beach Body 90 and Pilates tapes with high hopes of finally achieving a weight loss goal.

I am glad to see old names and many new ones and hope journaling will keep me motivated just as before.

Soon2BThin on 04/22/2004:
Welcome back! It's good to "see" you again. I know coming back to the DD will really help you to lose the weight. Good luck!


joe_anne2 on 04/23/2004:
<font color=blue>Hey Girl

Congratulations! on the Bachelors Degree, now that is an accomplisment. And to live a military lifestyle, boy you do got courage.

You can do all you set your mind to, so just keep your focus on what you really want and you will get there. Best wishes in all you do. </font>



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