- Friday Nov 15, 2002
I would like to say I have been dieting and exercising but that wouldn't be the case. I have been going to school and eating, so I have gained more weight. I have joined weight watchers, again, and that seems to be working out for me. I still have to get off my butt and exercise. I was reading someone's journal - sorry - forgot whose and they were talking about not sleeping. Whew, I wish that was my problem, I can sleep anytime and anywhere. I would rather sleep than do anything else. My mom says I'm sleeping my life away. I don't see it that way, I go to many different and interesting places in my dreams, yeah, I'm avoiding life.
So, I guess I will try to return to the land of the living and stick to this program. Though I have been away, I popped in every once in awhile to read up on everyone, I'm glad most is still here and I'll have to get to know the new ones.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! Jo Ann
- Thursday Aug 01, 2002
(Hilton Head Metabolism Diet)
Day 2 gone. It wasn't so bad. I had a heartfelt conversation with a person I hardly know, or haven't seen in a month. It was a young guy (I say young he is about 24) he said it looked like I lost weight. Well none since he's seen me last but I didn't say that. I just said thanks, I'm trying.
I then mentioned I stayed fat because it was my security blanket. It kept me from getting close to people and getting hurt, referencing my divorce. Anyway, I probably told him too much, but it was the truth. I'm afraid to get close to people, I don't want to get hurt again, and being fat was a way I could keep my distance. Anyway, I just want to lose weight now, just to feel better.
Breakfast: Special K, 1/2 banana and 1/2 c. skim milk Lunch: boiled egg, 1/2 grapefruit and 1 piece of wheat toast Dinner: baked fish, cauliflower & broccoli, 1/2 c. rice, 1/2 orange Snack: small tossed salad, other half of orange
My legs are very sore from yesterday, but I did mow the grass. I hope everyone has a great day. Has anyone heard from Charlotte? I just worry about her, she motivates me so.
- Wednesday Jul 31, 2002
(Hilton Head Metabolism Diet)
WOOHOO I made it through Day 1, which is always so tough to do.
Breakfast: Special K, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup skim milk Lunch: Fruit salad with canteloupe, honeydew, strawberries and cottage cheese Dinner: baked chicken, baked potato & broccoli Dessert: strawberries and yougart Snack: Two pieces of wheat bread
I walked about 1 1/2 miles. My legs were hurting so bad, like lava falling on them. It wasn't the calf or the shin, but on the side about half way up. I had it checked out before, but they said I didn't have a problem, you know it's one of those you make up.
Anyway, I hope everyone had a great day.
- Tuesday Jul 30, 2002
(Hilton Head Metabolism Diet)
Tomorrow is start day #99. I went and bought all the right food. I was going to start last week, however, we had planned a weekend in Branson, MO and I didn't want to be restricted there. We went on a Sunset dinner cruise with a great show, Silver Dollar City and another show (Legends in Concert) that night and drove back on Sunday. It was my 35th birthday present to myself.
Now that I'm back and finally finished celebrating I've decided it's time to have a go again. I am going to start the Hilton Head Metabolism Diet. It's not hard I'm just very weak and lazy. I'm embarassed to take my lunch to work and eat it in front of everyone. So I am my own worst enemy. I'm in for the fight this time.
I wish everyone luck and continued success. Jo Ann
- Tuesday Jul 23, 2002
Hi everyone, I guess I am back at it. I barely survived my 3 week National Guard Training at Fort Polk, Lousianna. I thought I was going to die of the heat and humidity. Why people live there voluntarily I'll never understand!!
My son moved, back with his Dad at El Paso, Texas. I was angry at first, however, he is 15 (16 in November) and I guess I just can't tell him what to do anymore without getting some negative feedback. I hate listening to him tell me how much he hates me and being here. I guess at this time in his age, a dad is a good thing.
School is tough, but I have a three week break. Now comes the commitment to weight loss. I was even telling my classmates, that losing weight will be my number one goal for the rest of the summer. Work is crazy, cut backs are hell. Four people were let go last week, several more to come. I'm just glad I don't have their particular jobs.
I haven't gained, but I haven't lost either. I'm going to add my exercise routine back in and start the calorie counting/fat watching thing again. I'm glad to be back to start catching up on everyone's success. Way to Go Charlotte!! that is so fantastic, I sure missed reading about your family.
- Thursday May 02, 2002
There comes a time in your life when you realize you have a crazy, big problem, and then when you finally realize it, it takes you another week or so to come to terms with it, analyze it and then finally try to do something to help yourself.
Last Thursday night I received the dreaded phone call. I had to talk to the wife of my ex-husband. I handled myself well, quite professionally I'd say. I didn't spout off, riducule, curse or be sarcastic once. I informed her of what has been going on the last two years my son has been with me concerning his orthodontal work, optometry stuff, school work and just my son in general. But after I got off the phone I went into the kitchen and made a big pan of brownies and ate half the pan, the rest for breakfast the next morning. I was angry. I hate the fact that my son is leaving, hate it more that he will be there with my ex and not me. If that's not emotional eating, I don't know what is.
I was talking to a girl at school about how I need to lose many pounds, as much as I could before next month. She said she would walk with me. Bless her heart, I almost cried. But anyway, we are supposed to meet tonight and go walking in the park. That will be fine but then I don't want to get into talking about myself, I hate that when you start a new friendship.
My pictures were posted, those new pictures were taken at Christmas, I think I have an extra 10 pounds now, if you can imagine that.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great day.
- Friday Apr 19, 2002
Last night I grilled steak out, I had half a steak and gave my son the other half. I thought it was kinda tough. I made mash potatoes and baked beans. I cook for my son, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't eat anything at all. Well, I guess that will be the case in another month. He asked me last night to start getting his transcript and stuff from the school. I told him to wait, if he decided to go to school in Texas they could request it and the OKlahoma school would send it. I still don't like the idea of him staying there with his step-mother. I was in Saudi for six months, he just tells me he don't think his dad will be gone that long. It's incredible how selfish I'm feeling. I guess I'll just absorb myself into going to school and loosing weight.
I applied for another job yesterday with the Department of the Treasury, Comptroller of the Currency in Oklahoma City. I think they kind of do the same thing my Examinations & Inspections department do, but at a national level, and it is a federal job. Oh, well I'll guess I'll see what happens.
This morning was sad. It was the 7 year anniversary of the Oklahoma City Murrah bombing. My current office is right accross the street and I work high enough where I could see the little ceremony they had, I couldn't hear it though.
Last night I was very tired and couldn't get myself up and exercise. I'm telling you that drill weekend sure takes alot out of me. I'm going home to take a nap after work, but tomorrow I have plans to get up and go walk. I was just thinking of all the exercise activities they have around my city. Last week they had a red bud classic and a walk for the cure (breast cancer walk) next week they have the Oklahoma Memorial Marathon, oh, yea, I'd love to do that. I've just decided to make that my long term goal. I want to run in the National marathon. I did compete in the Kole Kole Pass 1/2 marathon in Hawaii, but that was 40 pounds ago.
Well I hope you all have a great weekend and despite the forecasted rain, that is what I plan to do. Jo Ann
- Thursday Apr 18, 2002
Good morning all. Last night I struggled to mow the yard. It has been raining so much here lately it just grows and grows. it stays wet so it makes it very difficult to mow, but I mowed it anyway and the mower would stop every few minutes. It is supposed to rain all weekend long and I know it would add another foot or so of height if I didn't get it cut. My son was kind enough to help.
My hands are swollen today. I can't figure out if it's because I have been working with them or water retention, maybe a little bit of both.
My son is still going to Texas after school is out. Not much as been said about whether or not he is going to stay there and start school. I guess I will just have to wait and see if he likes it there.
Can someone please tell me how to get to where the pictures are. I have a few to add, but I can't remember how to get there.
- Wednesday Apr 17, 2002
I am finally on a routine I can deal with and maybe get some exercise in. I had a long, hard weekend doing the drill thing. We went out east to Camp Gruber and played in the field. We had to put up lots and lots of tents and camouflage nets. If you don't bring "pogey bait" (snacks & stuff) of your own, you will be stuck eating the prepackaged MREs. Just one has over 2700 calories, that is quite a few when you want to lose some poundage.
Last night was the last night of this Humanities class. I had to turn in my research paper and my group had to put on our 30 minute presentation. It only lasted 20 minutes. If we were docked for time, the instructor didn't say, there were a few groups that took over 40 minutes, there presentation was boring to say the least, it was hard to keep from falling asleep.
I hope everyone has a great day, and if things continue like they are I will be able to post more often, instead of just read.
- Thursday Apr 04, 2002
Total pity party to follow. I am struggling with school, I never dreamed it would be this hard. I still haven't started on my paper and it is due April 16th. I have gained a few pounds, so I have been hard on myself.
My son has decided to go to El Paso, Texas (his dad is stationed at Fort Bliss) for the summer. He said he wanted to go and visit his dad before he left in June/July to go to Saudi Arabia. I asked if he was coming back, he said he wanted to check out the schools there. That is fine, however, I asked him why he would want to stay with the Stepmon instead of coming back to me. He had no answer. I know my ex told him he had a car for him there and I think that was a big part of luring him down there. I also didn't want my ex to tell him, "you're man of the house now, take care of things while I'm gone". I want my son to have fun with his life and not have to be concerned with worrying about his step-brother and half sister. My son will be 16 and the others are 9 & 3. I guess I'm just being selfish and my son is old enough to make up his own mind, but it's just hard knowing I probably won't get to see him for a long time.
I visited my sister who is skinny has a rail and does not work and has no care in the world about how the bills will be paid. I was actually envious and wish I could be like her, especially when she doesn't work. All she cares about his finding her next boyfriend, her next beer and cigarette. However, I don't want to worry about not have electricity for heat or water to bathe either, and those things aren't high on her priority list.
Well, I only have a little over two months to get my brain in serious mode to try to take some of this weight off, before annual training. It was awful trying to shave my legs last night in the tub, I found myself trying to be an amateur contortionist. It was so hard trying to maneuver my bulk around to make sure I had a complete shave.
I did go walk for 3 miles, however, my girlfried was with me and we didn't go that fast, because we were talking. I'll up the speed and maybe that will help. The weather is getting warmer so maybe I'll be able to get up in the mornings and go for a walk.
I hope everyone has a great day.