- Friday Feb 23, 2007
After writing about how I should find a way to replace bad moods and eating with bad moods and exercise, the next day I proceeded to be 'taken into' a bad mood and against my will purchased a very large bag of cheesies and ate the whole thing. I say against my will as in 'not enough will in my body to stop myself'. Ah, let it go.
Steps are still good, but boy am I tired today - and I think I am experiencing some pms symptoms. I'm getting crankier and crankier as the day progresses and my back is killing me. Ah, let it go.
We're going for a walk tonight and perhaps i'll jump on the bike and finish my count for the day. I'm looking forward to the weekend, but only to sleep. I really don't want to do anything besides that. Just sleep.
Oh my Lord can I ever complain.
On the brighter side...oh, forget it.
- Tuesday Feb 20, 2007
I'm riding high again; still behind in my steps but will catch up quickly if I keep doing what i've been doing for the last couple of days. I always resent the fact that I get so down at certain times in my life. I must discover a way to counteract those unambitious feelings - or at the very least not use food to try and cheer myself up!
It's much warmer outside (thank goodness for spring - if winter was 12 months long, I would go insane) and i've been walking outside a lot trying to get my sun time in. This morning I walked to work and quite enjoyed myself, although I was a bit warm and sweaty once at work. When I worked in a different position and had to walk almost all day, I was much happier and more at ease. I think I really like to walk. It seems to clear my head so much better than anything else I do.
Tomorrow night i'm back at kickboxing and i'm hoping it will up my steps to a new high!
Our dog truly enjoys and is also reaping the benefits of the Step Challenge. We can tell when he's had enough walking though - he starts to nip at my boyfriend's mittens. I'm not sure if he's trying to tell him that his paws are cold, or if he's asking my boyfriend to carry him the rest of the way home! We can read him pretty well by now - he holds his emotions in his eyes and it's so endearing and soulful. His thoughts run deep, i'm sure of it!
Take care all.
- Friday Feb 16, 2007
This last week I seem to have dropped from my cloud, curled up under the covers and tried to look dead to the world. Of course it didn't work, but it did mean that my steps were horrid for last week and I am again losing!! A new situation: my boyfriend has entered the competition in place of another stepper. Oh, look out now! He started on Wednesday and is going overboard on steps, trying to catch up to everyone else. I think he will over-exert himself and have told him that, but nevertheless he is also a competitive spirit and will work hard until he catches and passes the rest of us! A good thing to come out of this: he is motivating me to keep up. And today I am sore from an almost two hour walk with the dog last night. And I think I pulled a muscle in my leg, but I will never tell him or he'll make me stop!
Things have gotten better between us, but we are increasingly awkward around the other person due to this lack of communication. I have always included him in my activities but it just makes me resentful when he doesn't do the same for me. But I know there are things I need to just let go, and this may be one of them. It's just that sometimes I think that I deserve to be around someone who wants me to be around!!
Tonight wallyball is cancelled and so I will try to go to the gym before supper as we're going out (together, with friends) for wings and it may be a long night. I know after yesterday Chewy will be standing at the door, staring at the doorknob, waiting for his two hour walk!
- Wednesday Feb 07, 2007
Doing well, getting my average steps in each day and slowly gaining on the competition. Or so I think, anyways!
Here's a scenario for you that has nothing to do with dieting or excercising and has me in such a funk today that I wonder if perhaps i'd rather not say where i'd rather be:
My boyfriend bowls two days out of the week. He has also recently stopped drinking, but continues to go to the bar on both of these nights with his 'friends'. He wanted to bowl with his 'friends' last weekend without me, when we had decided last year to bowl together in the tournament I was telling you about. His team would have consisted of a married couple and a younger female, if I had not intervened and told him I wanted to bowl too. I have never met these friends before, and had no idea who they were until Saturday. My boyfriend neglected to introduce me to them. Last night I was asked to spare for someone and I agreed to, so went bowling again. At the end of the night my boyfriend stood near the doorway and it looked to me he was waiting for this girl to leave - watching her the whole time. I was furious with him and asked him if there was something going on that I didn't know about. He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about - but, my friends, i've been there before and I know the signs. However, I may just be paranoid enough to jump to conclusions, and so I apologized for upsetting him and went to bed. But the thought runs through my head every few minutes today, like a terribly bad film, of me watching him watching her. And it, without bias, is slowly breaking my heart.
What should I do?
gym tonight - bike, bike, bike. Then I have tomorrow AND Friday off work, so four day weekend for me! It's my birthday this weekend and I want to go into the city to see my Dad.
- Sunday Feb 04, 2007
Oh my God, everything hurts.
I'm so sore today - all over; there isn't one muscle that I can't hear screaming at me to sit down. And my brain is mush, too. I just want to take a nap and by golly, I just might do that.
We started bowling at 6am yesterday. Our first 'round' consisted of three games. After we won that round around 8am, we stopped for breakfast then returned to the allies for another 'round' of three games at 12pm. After those two rounds I was already mighty tired and figured i'd had enough of bowling, but we were doing so well that we just couldn't lose. To be quite honest, some of those games I didn't even really try all that much because I just wanted it to be over! But no, when I didn't try, my teammates did, and we landed ourselves in yet another round of three games by 4pm. I started out strong, catching a turkey (three strikes in a row) at the very beginning of the first game and AGAIN took it easy for the rest of the game. And AGAIN my teammates proved their worth by leading us into the next round!! And we won that one too, to take us into the finals at 10pm!!
Unfortunately by then we were all much too tired to move, let alone bend down to throw bowling balls down an alley. I alternated between sleeping with my head on bf's shoulder and sluggishly shuffling my feet down the alley to huck a ball. I just didn't even care anymore. I'm serious, I cared about nothing but sleep. Nothing in life was important except sleep. I was so tired by then that I was shivering cold; covered in a film of cold sweat listening to my teeth chatter away. It was NOT fun! And we lost in the final by only 63 points! Argh. All that work. We did get our money back, and an extra $25.00 per person for getting second place, so that at least is rewarding for our efforts.
I think my highest game was 211. I got three turkeys in all those rounds; I was on fire! My average has never, ever gone over 150. I bet my average was close to 180. I think we played a total of 14 games, but my memory is hazy on that.
I finally crawled into bed at 1:30am, and this morning when I woke up I could hardly move. Yes, I need a warm bath and a short nap.
I've already walked the dog today and did 30 minutes on the stationary bike, because I want to get those steps in. I'm almost there.
I'm almost there.
- Saturday Feb 03, 2007
I was a little peeved on Thursday night when the meditation class I wanted to go to was missed because of a mix-up in communication. I was e-mailed to be there at 6pm, then told to come at 6:15 instead. When I showed up at 6:15, the lights were off and I assumed the yoga class beforehand was just ending, so I waited. And I waited. By 6:30 when the lights were still out I decided they must have started without me. And so they did. Oh well. Next time.
Friday night I went to the gym and did a full cardio workout, then went out for supper with some friends and bf. Today i'm in a 24 hour bowling tournament. Unfortunately this isn't giving me a lot of steps, but i'm okay with that. Tomorrow i'll be able to up my steps and hopefully my average, which is at about 13,000 a day. If I can make that today, i'll be laughing my way to the bank. That is, if I can keep it up. I may still be behind in total count this week, but I know that i'll gain a little at least.
Eating is good - breakfast this morning consisted of eggs and toast, and just finished brown rice and chicken. Because of the bowling tournament, i'm eating at odd hours, so we'll see what will happen tonight. I have plenty of leftovers, so shouldn't make any bad, rash decisions about what to eat.
- Wednesday Jan 31, 2007
Today I must admit that I was a tad bit too happy when my competitor called me to say she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be going to the gym. I offered my condolences of course, then proceeded out the door towards the treadmill. Heck, I say, too bad if she's sick. I was sick last week - now we're even!!! I'm yelling at myself for taking such advantage of a bad situation, but I just can't help it. By my very pure nature i'm a true competitor - I fall just short of breaking your leg for you...
I'm only kidding.
I DID hit the gym though, and am over my 17,000 step goal for today. I'm very excited about the rest of the week, too. Tomorrow, we have our weekly dance class, but beforehand i'm going to try a meditation class. I'm looking forward to this - added to my yoga class, I will hopefully soon be able to calm myself down each night just enough to feel good about my accomplishments and successes, and honor myself and my body in a positive way for a change.
I'm feeling more introspective as the weeks progress, much more at ease with myself - and my talents seem to shine through it all and push me forward into directions that will enhance my life and my values.
Don't anyone bring me down off this cloud!!!
- Monday Jan 29, 2007
I was a little over-confident in my stepping abilities apparently, as after two weeks I am no longer 'in the lead'. Ah, crap, is all I can say! I'm about 10,000 steps below the leader and it's driving me absolutely bonkers! I was even a little peeved about it, but must take into account my unfortunate beginning to the second week of the challenge and reside myself to the fact that i'll just have to work a little harder this week. And i'm off to a grand start, might I add. 17,000 steps today! I told our leader that I was not going down without a fight - and i'm sticking to it. When last checking in with her (as the two of us are at the far front of the pack) and finding out she was not far behind me in today's count, I made sure to wiggle my butt a little bit more and danced with the dog for a bit!! There is no way i'll let her pass me this week. I'm taking over, gosh darn it.
Gym tonight - treadmill walking with sprints, some stretching, a baby shower, a coffee night with a friend, and now i'm off to bed. Good eating today, too - you know, it's really not that hard once you're in the habit of healthy eating. I must remember that.
Until tomorrow, i'll just keep moving on...
- Thursday Jan 25, 2007
I did well at the gym yesterday, hitting a personal high of over 15,000 steps for the day. Yes, i'm trying to catch up to the competition, but i'm also trying not to go overboard and exhaust myself, physically and mentally.
Tonight is another dance class - still looking forward to these classes, they're so much fun!
Eating is good - today I had toast for breakfast, rice and chicken for lunch and rice, salmon and vegetables for dinner. A light snack after dance class and i'm hitting the sack.
I'm tired, but energized. A contradiction of sorts, but you know what I mean?
- Wednesday Jan 24, 2007
I made it to work today and am doing alright so far. I can feel waves of nausea and pain every so often, but i'm pretty sure I can persevere and make it through. I'm looking forward to getting to the gym tonight and finding my way back to where I was originally before my period. Feeling bloated and grumpy but that's to be expected, I guess.
So I missed yoga class yesterday and I really didn't want to. I'm glad however that i've slowed down on activities, only sticking to one or two (or three), and hitting the gym on the other days. Having a scheduled activity every day of the week would make me feel extremely guilty upon missing one. Whereas if I miss going to the gym, I know that I can run a few sets of stairs and jump on my stationary bike and call it pretty well even.
It's a hard day for water today!