- Friday Dec 22, 2006
The Ballroom Dancing is starting on the 18th of the New Year, and yoga will start on the 9th. I'm looking forward to both, especially now since there are no more classes to go to because of Christmas and New Year's and i'm putting on amazing amounts of weight. I really am. It's almost disgusting, but obviously not disgusting enough to make me stop. Every morning starts out great, but I end up stressing over the holidays or finding some other excuse to not think about how much i'm eating.
My back is almost killing me now - it seems ever since I went to that doctor's appointment i've been feeling pain every day, all through the day. It's funny how that is - I should have never gone but what if something would be wrong? Besides that, the doctor only told me that my muscles were enflamed. Wow. I didn't think chronic back pain for the last eight months could possibly be due to sore muscles. Gimme a break. I was so enormously angry with him that I said the next time i'd see him is when I can no longer get out of bed. I'm making an appt with another doc in the new year - one who wants my whole medical and health history before she even begins to figure out what's wrong with me. That sounds better, doesn't it?
Adding unneeded fuel to the fire is my unbearable clumsiness. I've now fallen off the front steps twice, slammed my toe into the table legs, twisted my ankle and have had a nasty rash entertain my entire face and neck for a whole day.
I think I might now hate winter. Or at least December.
But Merry Christmas anyways!
- Sunday Dec 03, 2006
That growth chart is such work, I tell 'ya. Got some more christmas shopping done today - a few more things and I should be good to go. I managed to work on the exercise room in the house, and it's looking good - just need to get my boyfriend to carry up the stationary bike from downstairs and some weights and I can get started.
Checked out the new yoga classes that I want to take - should be interesting, i'm definitely going for it. Also going to sign boyfriend and myself on for ballroom dancing. This would be hilariously fun for us - we love to dance and learning a new style will be awesome! Too bad there wasn't swing dancing - that would be great. Maybe in the future...
Anyways, not much else going on at the moment - the weekend was much too short, but isn't it usually?!
- Thursday Nov 30, 2006
It's getting pretty late tonight and I should probably head to bed right away, but wanted to check in and see how everyone's doing.
Everything's still going well for me, although i've had those ups and downs as per normal life. It's a darn good thing I have friends to keep me active and working out!! Otherwise i'd be a total squishamabobthingy.
Still some painting left to do in the house, but it looks awesome - very happy with the result.
I'm hoping to start some yoga classes in January. I love the yoga class I have each week, but i'm looking for more; my flexibility could be a lot better. Having some problems with my back but hopefully will get that checked out with the doctor within a week.
Christmas is coming upon us quickly and i'm so not ready, largely due to the fact that i'm trying to be crafty and making some growth charts for my wonderful, beautiful little nieces and it's taking up a lot of my time. But worth it - i'm sure they'll love it.
Let's see, what else - read a book, watched Superman Returns, attending birthdays and a christmas party this weekend. Yeah, we're doing pretty good - i'm on a lucky streak!
- Friday Nov 24, 2006
Oh my goodness I don't believe it...a break in the day to write a little note!
Wow, it's been so busy. Work, home, work, home - that's all it's been, with a few minutes in between to grab something to eat. I haven't been able to use the stove because we were renovating in the kitchen. Hopefully today is the day we can fire it back up! Everything we've done looks absolutely wonderful but i'm comparing it to what it used to look like and that was not a pretty sight. Anyways, i've been living off of Subway and snack food. I mean good snack food though - like bars and muffins and yogurt, cottage cheese and oranges and fresh veggies.
I'm still feeling pretty good, although quite tired but I think that's only because of the work we've been doing. Still kickboxing and yoga-ing and volleyballing and gyming. It's going well at the moment and i'm pretty happy. Haven't had a pretty happy feeling in a few months. I think a lot of it has to do with the house. It's amazing how much better you feel emotionally when you walk into a place that you are starting to like more and more!
Well, back to work for me. Everyone take care, until next time.
- Sunday Nov 12, 2006
Well, it's Sunday morning and we're in the middle of renos. This house is a mess; we can't walk anywhere without shoes since there are nails just about everywhere.
I've started to paint and boy is it ever a work in progress. Seriously, I very much doubt that it will look good by the time i'm done!! If I can find a scanner in this town, i'll prove my point to you. It's frustrating because it's an old house and the walls aren't straight and the drywalling isn't done properly, etc. blah blah. whine.
I'm doing amazingly well these days. I feel quite good; regular exercise and chicken or fish apparently go well with me. And I did get that massage too - oh it felt good, but at the moment my back is killing me (too much bending and painting I imagine) and my hip is out of place so there's a sharp pain flowing down my leg. But we'll deal. The massage felt awesome, i'm going to try and do that more often. I'm getting a pedicure tomorrow with a friend. That should be interesting - never had this done before.
Hmm, what else can I tell you? I'm off work for four whole days and i'm going to spend my time on me. Well, that and painting.
- Monday Nov 06, 2006
I happen to be feeling pretty good in general today - and i'm here to update and see how all of you are doing.
Kickboxing, yoga, volleyball and the gym are my regular exercises these days. As well, we're starting some renovations in the kitchen and are working towards painting, then tile for the floor and backsplash, and eventually laminate flooring for the living and dining rooms. At this time, i'm waiting for bf to finish mudding and sanding so that I can start painting. I'm going with a 70s theme - beige/brown tones with grey and light yellow designs. Haha, with the grey tile I picked out and the colorful array of tile for the backsplash (burgundy, deep blue, grey, yellow and brown) this kitchen is styled just for me - not for resale, which is our main goal. But oh well, I like to be creative and goshdarnit that's what i'm going to be!
My diet needs a good kickstart, which i'm hoping to achieve today. I'm kicking the coffee habit and drinking Crystal Light instead. I'm also trying out the six small meals a day and have an assortment of treats to incorporate. Yogurt smoothies, nut and yogurt bars, cottage cheese cups and yogurt cups, grapes, pears and oranges, muffins for breakfast, brown rice and either chicken or fish for dinner.
I've been feeling crappy lately and I think it has a lot to do with what I was eating. Hopefully this will help to boost my mood and give me the energy I so badly need.
This week i'm also making an appointment for a massage - something I don't regularly do, but will attempt to from now on. They feel good and that's what I need right now.
So wish me luck!
- Friday Oct 27, 2006
I find it so ironic that when I have a spare moment to write another entry, I always seem to be hit with something or other and i'm sure it's making me sound like a baby who has a terrible immune system and a really horrible life of laying on the couch and only rolling over far enough to reach the remote control.
I am sick again today, but am going to persevere and work through it. Hallowe'en is coming up and I want to be healthy - or as healthy as I can be, anyways.
I started going to kickboxing classes again after my bout of flu - that is going well although I must remember to take it easy until my coughing ceases. I am still on the fruit kick but have to kick my cheese habit because i'm buying a block of cheese every two days for goodness sake.
Anyways, just had a moment and wanted you all to know that i'm still here whether you want me or not (!) and I hope you are all doing well.
All the best. Happy Hallowe'en!
- Monday Oct 16, 2006
Ah, flu season. And it had to hit me when I was already down. At least I was prepared and totally expected this. But although I pounded the vitamin C and Echinacea and practically drank NyQuil all night, that darn virus has still found its way into my already badly shaken immune system. And now my question is: How much fruit can a fruitcake eat?!!!
Okay, so i'm not exactly on top of things intellectually - pardon my seriously awful jokes, but i'm wallowing in fluid creeping out my nose and spraying god knows what out my mouth everytime I sneeze. Bad jokes are about all I can manage right now.
Seriously, I am much better than I was. Now that the cold I started with is lodged deep within my chest, I am more able to breathe correctly and therefore get more than a few hours of sleep each night. And that means I can enthusiastically greet the flu-bug with a little of my own medicine. That being the couch. And a blanket. Add a box of kleenex to go and let the pity party begin.
My body has been sufficiently cleaned out and yet I can't seem to rid myself of this evil influence. And though i've waited more than a week to ride it out, i'm coming close to the end of my rope. I offered my bug to my boyfriend but for some reason he doesn't find the idea all too appealing. And i've run out of people to blame.
As I zone out for the night, I will say that i'm keeping very well to my diet since i've been suddenly forced to eat all the fruit in the grocery store and bf has kindly made soup and stew with most of the vegetables he can conveniently name. Although there isn't much exercise happening here, i've effectively broken the record for number of seconds it takes to walk around the house before clear fainting from lack of oxygen. I know, I know, it's not funny...
- Wednesday Oct 04, 2006
Tuesday: 1820 calories, no exercise.
Wednesday: I'm not done yet! But so far around 1000 calories. And yes, I went to kickboxing tonight.
I felt so much better after writing my emotional entry the other day. I did go right to sleep, but fell asleep quickly and slept very soundly the whole night through. There are some viruses going around and chances are i've felt the corner of one of them and simply am hideously feeling sorry for myself and perhaps a little out of sorts. These classes - anything that forces me to get up and do something - are really saving me right now. It's just incredibly hard to realize how much they can impact my mood. If I would have gone on Monday, I doubt very much I would have been in such a mood to write such an entry. I'm still not up to snuff and am still feeling a little sorry for myself, but better to live through it rather than ignore it until it goes away. I guess I need to find my own harmony before trying to accomplish something I can't help but keep destroying.
Thank you ladies for your kind thoughts and comments, it feels truly awesome to know that you are right there with me and if anyone will hold me accountable, you will. I have a habit of taking things for granted - so big hugs from me to you!
So, in the end, i'm still here. And none the worse for wear, in fact. While doing ab work tonight I noticed that my stomach is quite flat and my legs are muscled and strong. I should notice these things more often - the feel instead of the number, right?!
- Tuesday Oct 03, 2006
I stayed under 1500 calories up until Sunday. Dreadful Dunday. That's right - Done Day. Actually, that was a typo, but it seems to fit well.
I am in my downward spiral, which I knew would be approaching sooner or later. I feel crappy, and it's starting to show. I'm snapping at my boyfriend even though he buys me flowers for no reason; I don't want to be at work even though I love it and it pays the bills; I'm falling asleep by 8pm every night right through until morning and even then I don't want to wake up. It's 7:30 right now and i'm getting ready for bed - let's be honest, I already AM ready for bed.
I hit 2500 calories on Sunday. Then I weighed myself Monday night and although I should have known better, it depressed me to no end. So I skipped kickboxing class and wallowed in self-pity. All while stuffing my face to the point of nausea. Oh God, how my life is contingent upon a number. I'm so melodramatic. This morning I was going to turn it around. But by 10am I was dragging my butt around, only doing the things that needed to be done instead of looking forward to every challenge as I normally do. My friend is sick right now; when she stopped in to say 'hello' as only a good friend would, I spent the whole 10 minutes of her time complaining about how I don't feel good. Don't feel good? What a crock. I simply want to be coddled and pitied and not held accountable.
Tonight I watched a weight loss show on t.v. And for a moment there, a very fast moment, I wanted to show myself that I can get through this. And I pulled over the chair in the living room and did 63 step ups onto it in 2 minutes. Alas, upsetting myself once again by not being able to reach 66 steps - a number i'm pretty sure I pulled out of thin air. I then found a cookie. Good thing there was only one left.
Going to sleep now can only be a good thing - it means that I won't pull open the fridge door to check for leftovers and it means I won't drive my vehicle to the nearest gas station for chips or pop or chocolate.
Tomorrow night there will be another kickboxing class and as i've already begged a friend of mine to make me go, I can't see myself missing another class. You see, it's not that I want to miss these classes, it's not that I want to eat to the point of exhaustion. There is just something inside me saying 'you are not good enough, and I will make you fail'.